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Ok_Builder_3285 Archive

View 7 posts and 432 comments by Ok_Builder_3285 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

I hear you. I guess you’re not alone. I hope that knowledge helps somehow. A lot of people claim they can get out of it. Try their advice. I hope something works for you. For me it doesn’t get better. I got divorced 5 years ago and I feel worse today than I did 5 years ago. Next month it will be 7 years since I last touched a woman and I know I’ll never touch a woman again. I’ve done all the stuff that they tell you to do. Therapy, meds, travel, career, gym, sports, etc. Nothing helps. Nothing e…
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/26 01:24 PM
11

Found out she was cheating. Then found out she’d been the the entire time (20 years together). I’ll never eco er. Divorce is a death sentence.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/26 12:26 AM
7

Yeah. At this point in life everything is just rituals of public humiliation.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/26 02:01 AM
3

I know I’ll be alone forever. I haven’t touched a woman in 6.5 years. I got divorced 5 years ago and I haven’t been on a single date.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/26 01:15 PM
2

I’ve watched it. I’ve watched all the stuff people recommend, I’ve read all the books, listened to all the podcasts. None of it is helpful. I’ve consumed all of this stuff for 5 years. I’ve yet to come across anything that makes any difference.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/26 12:21 PM
1

I learned that divorce is a death sentence. There is nothing after and never will be.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/26 11:05 AM
7

It doesn’t get better.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/26 05:28 AM
6

Screw them. I will never not hate my ex who cheated on me for years. I will never not hate every guy she cheated on me with. I have not spoken to a single one of the men. They collectively destroyed my life and I know that I’ll never recover. It’s not just that, but post divorce she became an addict, can’t hold a job, so I’m on the hook for everything financially. She can’t take care of the kids. She constantly endangered them or just abandoned them. I’ve had them full time for years now. I will…
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/26 08:20 PM
1

I’m in shape. I don’t know my BMI, but definitely not overweight.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 10:36 PM
2

Yeah. Women are with abusive losers. My ex cheated on me with and left me for an unemployed, abusive, addict. Women who are single have impossibly high standards that I’ll never meet. I do think people say one thing and do something different. Any woman who says she’s ok dating a guy with kids (even if she has kids herself) is lying. I haven’t met any single women, I haven’t been on any dates, I haven’t gotten any phone numbers, I haven’t flirted. There’s just nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 09:49 PM
2

Been single for a little over 5 years. I don’t talk to people I don’t already know. I don’t make new friends. There’s no way to do that. I talk to my kids’ friends parents, that’s it.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 08:33 PM
2

I’ve been on apps for 5+ years. I’ve taken every piece of advice there is, nothing works. I haven’t been on even one date.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 07:11 PM
1

Happy for you. No single woman will even talk to me. I haven’t touched a woman in going on 7 years.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 04:49 PM
3

I’m 5 years out and life is horrible. There all seem like good suggestions. You’re right, nobody is I’ll ever understand. Dating is impossible so as a product of that so is a new relationship. I know I have zero value and nobody wants puke The vet said ant to be with me. My kids are still young so all I do is take care of them every day and work. Solo travel is just as terrible and depressing. I can just go be alone and miserable somewhere else. I’ve done it but I won’t do it again. The rest of …
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 01:28 PM
3

I won’t get over it. I know that I have never been loved and never will be loved.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 05:20 PM
1

I never even had love and I never will. Nobody could ever love me. People just use me other then throw me away.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/26 01:55 PM
1

I don’t have any interest in collecting. It’s just spending money on pointless stuff I don’t care about and then beating myself up for it. I have gone to movies before but then I just feel like a loser for going to the movies alone. I’ll look for classes I guess but I’m not in a position to go take something at a community college or whatever. I have tried book clubs and I do enjoy reading, but I’d rather just read what I want and not have to organize childcare. Plus my job is essentially readin…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/26 09:28 PM
1

I don’t have any interest in collecting. It’s just spending money on pointless stuff I don’t care about and then beating myself up for it. I have gone to movies before but then I just feel like a loser for going to the movies alone. I’ll look for classes I guess but I’m not in a position to go take something at a community college or whatever. I have tried book clubs and I do enjoy reading, but I’d rather just read what I want and not have to organize childcare. Plus my job is essentially readin…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/26 09:27 PM
1

Yeah. I know I’ll never have sex again. No single woman has spoken to me since my divorce. I’ll probably never even touch anyone ever again. I hug my kids, etc. but that’s the only physical contact I’ve had for 6.5 years.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/26 09:20 PM
1

And I’m more miserable than ever.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/26 09:16 PM
1

DM me please. Every therapist I’ve wasted my time with has sucked. None of it has ever helped no matter who the person is or what methodology they use. I just think I’m beyond help or hope.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/26 12:08 PM
2

Yes. I get criticized for being every thing I do by my ex who never even has the kids. No.I don’t have any form of social media.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/26 06:57 PM
1

I could try that I guess. It seems word and creepy. Thanks very never had a massage before. It doesn’t solve any of my problems but might be enjoyable for a minute.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/26 03:30 PM
-1

There is absolutely no way for me to put myself first. I can work and take care of kids. There is nothing else for me to do.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/26 06:01 AM
1

I don’t even know what I would try.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/26 12:20 AM
1

Nothing good will ever happen. There’s not even the possibility of improvement/change.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 11:36 PM
1

There is no reason for optimism. Nothing will ever get better.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 11:12 PM
0

There are no victories.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 11:11 PM
1

I don’t know what that means or how to do that. I can’t just make my brain different. Tonight my kids are both at sleepovers. My choices are go to bed or go be humiliated by doing something alone. Either choice is shit and miserable. I hate my life and I hate myself.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 11:00 PM
2

I am every chance I get.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 10:01 PM
0

I’ve done that. Nothing works, nothing helps.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 10:00 PM
4

There are no goals. Just survival, feed the kids, drive the kids, work, etc. There’s nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 06:48 PM
3

I do physical activity every chance I get. It’s difficult now that the kids are on summer break and not in school/activities as much.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 05:43 PM
2

It’s not self-imposed. I’ve tried. No single woman is interested in even speaking to me.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 05:41 PM
4

I’m sorry you went through that. I’m happy for you that you’ve found something that helps you. Religion is not an answer for me.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 05:00 PM
2

I have friends but nobody understands what I’ve been through or what I go through every day. I can’t move. I don’t have a flexibility to relocate with my job. I wish I could.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 04:56 PM
2

Fair point. Being a single dad can mean a variety of things. Still, I don’t ever indicate that I have my kids 100% and I don’t get any interest. I don’t like talk about it in profiles or whatever. There still zero likes. I’ve never gotten to the point where my kids even come up in conversation. There’s zero conversation.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 02:43 AM
1

Ok. I understand what you say and I don’t disagree. It seems consistent with what little experience I have. I was with my ex for 20 years. The story is the same. It’s always the same. Still, it doesn’t matter if I recognize this. There is no way for me to use the information. I can’t be anything but a sucker. I’m not even appealing enough for any woman to use me as a sucker. I’d take that at this point. I’ve been divorced for 5 years and I haven’t touched a woman in 6.5 years.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/26 12:40 PM
1

Yeah, there’s zero hope for me. Whatever women want, I’m the opposite. I am nice. I am boring. My life is nothing but responsibility. No woman who is single has spoken to me in the 5 years since I got divorced. I couldn’t get a date if my life depended on it. There’s no way to meet women and even if I did they’d never want anything to do with me.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/26 02:27 AM
0

Nothing. It doesn’t get better.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/26 01:43 AM
1

And how do you get any of those women to speak to you? Zero likes on any apps. Zero interactions in real life. I’m a nice stable guy - which as you say doesn’t work. I work, I take care of my kids every day, I hang out with married friends. There’s no way to do anything else. I flat out don’t believe all these people on here who claim to be dating.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/26 01:41 AM
1

Ok. Maybe it’s just kids that are a deal breaker for every woman of every age then.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/26 05:55 PM
7

If you’re 32 and don’t have kids you’ll be ok. If you’re over 40 or have kids it’s hopeless.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/26 03:46 PM
1

I’ve tried everything but this. I don’t see how it’s safe or trustworthy.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/26 06:26 PM
1

Yeah, dance with other guys’ girlfriends in front of them. That can’t be comfortable. What happens when you’re so horrible it’s embarrassing and you’re so incompetent that the women refuse to dance with you?
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/26 12:33 PM
1

The season of solitude never ends. This is forever.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/26 12:16 PM
1

I go to the gym every chance I get, which admittedly isn’t often enough right this minute. It doesn’t help. I’ve always done this, it has no effect.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/26 12:15 PM
1

You can’t show up to a partner dance class without a partner.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/26 12:14 PM
1

The TRT stuff is all soooo scammy. Mail stuff in, here’s some needles in the mail - just inject yourself every so often with who knows what. I can’t trust that.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/26 12:13 PM
1

Yeah, all the things seem like they’ll be scams.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 07:54 PM
1

I don’t have a future. Divorce is a death sentence for men, dads especially. I’m a zombie. I force myself to go through the motions every day. There is no way to change anything. It’s live thus isolated shit life until I die. I force myself to be social, I force myself to be in the gym, I force myself to get the kids everywhere, go to work, etc. I can only do it because I know that nothing that happens to me matters because I don’t matter. That’s my mantra: “it doesn’t matter because I don’t mat…
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 12:43 PM
1

I haven’t had T checked. I don’t know how to do it. I wouldn’t take T anyway. I hear all kinds of problems about it.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 05:43 PM
2

Been doing therapy for years. It doesn’t make any difference.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 03:10 PM
2

I can’t date so there’s no chance of sex (haven’t touched a woman in 6.5 years - my ex) or companionship. There is no future, once a woman has designated you human garbage and divorced you no other woman will touch you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 01:34 PM
6

It doesn’t get better, nothing helps. I have friends and I do stuff, then every night after the kids are in bed I cry myself to sleep.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 11:41 AM
4

So how do you get these women….asking for a friend?
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 06:57 PM
1

If we are divorced we aren’t leftovers. We are the human garbage that’s been thrown away. No woman wants another woman’s garbage.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 07:36 PM
-8

No woman is going to date a divorced guy, whether you have your own place or not.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 05:17 PM
1

Mediocre is the best I can possibly look. Actually, I’d say I’m below mediocre looking. That’s just what I am. I’ve bought new clothes, it doesn’t change anything. I’m 45, I can’t dress hip or whatever. I can’t change my hair. I’d go in that place they’d say what do you want to do? I’d reply, like it is but shorter. I can’t like ask someone how to cut my hair. That’s not how a barber works. I can’t hire someone to do a photo shoot of me. That’s insane. I’d look like a crazy person.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 02:29 PM
1

I appreciate it. This is the real me. I don’t even know what dressing with intention means. I don’t know what getting a haircut reviewed means. It’s just what my hair is, there aren’t other options. My attitude doesn’t make any difference when a woman sees a sanitized version of me on an app and decides I’m not good enough, like every woman has for 5+ years. Therapy doesn’t help. I’m plenty self reflective and in touch with reality which is why my attitude is what it is.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 01:46 PM
1

None of this will make a difference. I’m in decent shape. I am always working on it, but I’m old so I’ll start deteriorating any minute now. I lift heavy 3 days a week which is all my aged body can take at this point. I run, bike, or play my sport the other days. I’ve had the same haircut since I was 6 or whatever. It is the haircut I have. It’s all I can do. My hair has also gone completely gray from stress. Gray hair, another major turn off and no woman would ever find me attractive. There is …
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 12:22 PM
1

Kid 1 and kid 2, that’s it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 03:45 PM
1

I can’t find any woman who will date me. I’ve been trying for 5 years. I’m not tall enough, not good looking enough, not wealthy enough, I have kids, whatever it is no woman will ever want anything to do with me.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 03:40 PM
1

I’ve been doing therapy for years. It doesn’t help with anything.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 12:40 AM
2

There’s no way out of the loneliness and isolation. Even when I’m around friends I’m still completely alone. Dating is impossible so it’s loneliness and isolation foreverZ
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/26 05:11 PM
1

I said I know I am lucky in that.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 10:36 PM
1

Not that. I mean my ex hates being responsible. Ha ha I mean a man who has responsibilities isn’t attractive. Any man is more attractive than a man with responsibility.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 08:27 PM
1

Responsibility isn’t desirable.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 06:47 PM
4

5 years out. It hasn’t gone away. I force myself to go through the motions with stuff as much as I can. I do all the things “they” tell you to do. I don’t experience any positive emotions, ever. There’s some stuff I just can’t even bother will anymore, because I know it just won’t matter.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 02:13 PM
2

I have my kids full time (I know I’m lucky in that), but I’m still horribly lonely. It’s been 5+ years. It only gets worse.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 02:33 AM
1

Thanks. I don’t think my mindset impacts it all. My mindset can’t be magically sensed through a curated, edited, constantly re-worked app profile. It’d be one thing if I were going on tons of dates and flaming out on all of them. I can’t even get a woman to consider having a conversation with me, let alone talk to me face to face.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 11:15 PM
1

If a woman is swiping on an app, some number of men will be better looking than me, some will be taller, some will have sexier jobs, some will make it clear that they have more money, some won’t have kids, some won’t be divorced, etc. Whatever criteria a woman prioritizes in a man, some other men will always be better than me. There is no reason why any woman would ever choose me out of all the single men available, so no woman ever does choose me. No woman ever will choose me. I can’t change my…
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 10:40 PM
2

Yes. Also, had anonymous people do it. I get conflicting advice and I bounce around on what I include. It’s doesn’t matter. None of it works.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 09:38 PM
3

Similar story, 20 years together, she cheated, 2 kids I have full time, divorced 5 years ago. Dating is impossible. Being a dad is the least attractive thing a man can be. The bar to getting the time of day from a woman is impossibly high.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 07:58 PM
1

I’ve listened to the podcasts, watched the videos, done all the things that you’re supposed to do. None of it made a difference. If I approached women then it’d be more like 1 out of 1,000? 1 out of 5,000? Less? don’t see the point, public humiliation just to get rejected by the same women who reject me on apps.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 07:39 PM
2

I don’t know. Maybe you’re better looking, taller, less competition in the rural area…..
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 07:35 PM
1

No, I can’t. I get maybe 1 or 2 matches a month. Most never respond. My standards are not obese, no face tattoos, no racism/bigoted statements. I’m not trying to match with super attractive women or like 25 years old instagram models. I don’t even try with them. I can’t get likes from single moms in their 40s.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 07:01 PM
1

I’m somewhat less than 6’2”. As you say nothing you can do about that. I’ve tried growing a beard and it doesn’t turn out well. I’ve taken all the advice there is regarding apps/profiles. None of it makes any difference. I get maybe 1 like a month. They never pan out. Even if a shielded a date, maybe 1 every 6 months, they stand me up or cancel. It’s been 5 years of the same, no matter what I do.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 06:58 PM
2

Yes, the bar is impossibly high to even get a chance. I have zero standards anymore. I still can’t even get matches.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 05:06 PM
2

I’m in the gym 5 days a week currently, have been for years. I dress professionally. My hair is what is though. Ha ha. I do have hair. None of it makes any difference. The bar is impossibly high to even get likes on apps, let alone dates, let alone anything more than that. Over 5 years with zero dates. Nobody I talk to can understand how it’s possible, but this is the reality for men.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 04:50 PM
8

I would take whatever I could get and I get nothing. No women of any age want anything to do with me.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 02:55 PM
2

Pictures are all current. Within the last 12 months. I don’t even meet them in person for them to say that I don’t look like my pictures. I can’t even get that far.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 03:10 PM
1

I’ve tried these things to the extent I can find them. It’s all couples and people who are much older. I’ve tried a class, a book club, an athletic activity, and I’m involved in all of my kids’ various sports events (as volunteering). There’s nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 06:21 PM
1

There aren’t any age appropriate single women in my social cuticle. The only single women I come across in real life are grandmas or college students.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 11:01 AM
2

I can’t choose what kind of women are willing to interact with me. I take what I can get. In reality I don’t get anything.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 07:44 PM
3

Fair. I can’t even get a woman to talk to me to use ChatGPT to tell her what she wants to hear.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 04:52 PM
3

I can’t even get to that point of having conversations. I’m lucky if I have 10 conversations on apps over the course of year. But y ah, I’m sure if I did I wouldn’t keep their interest.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 04:27 PM
1

I don’t speak to anyone who has turned me down. I don’t speak to any single women because I don’t get any likes. Yes, my smiles are fake absolutely. There is no such thing as a genuine smile when taking a picture for some stupid app where no woman is ever going to speak with me. Where I’m just publicly humiliating myself on the internet by putting myself out there to strangers to spend 3 seconds judging me before deciding that I’m not good enough for them and rejecting me. No genuine smile is po…
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 04:23 PM
0

There is nothing about me to love. If there were then I wouldn’t be in this position. There is obviously nothing about me that’s even remotely attractive or else I wouldn’t be in this position.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 03:47 PM
1

No thanks. Also, I have traveled a lot. I haven’t traveled for the purpose of meeting women explicitly. When I do travel I don’t have any better luck with getting likes or meeting women. I’d fly to Asia and not have any woman like me or speak to me.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 11:09 AM
-1

This is garbage my belief has nothing to do with whether women swipe left or right when they see a pictures of me and evaluate me in 3 seconds. I have basic needs. I need them met. I haven’t touched another person in 6.5 years. This has nothing to do with mindset.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 11:06 AM
2

I have the best pics I can manage. Not great because I’m not great looking.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 11:01 AM
3

I’ve tried paying for all the apps at one point or another other. Still got zero likes.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 03:14 AM
1

I get it’s a numbers game. I don’t get any likes so I don’t have any chance.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 02:41 AM
7

I wish I could meet a woman in that phase, or any woman for that matter. Well done sir.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 02:37 AM
4

I’m sure that happens. I’ve had an enough cancellations to know that this happens. It’s probably what happened tonight. Maybe she had a date schedule for an hour earlier that went well. The thing is that I don’t have options. This is the first woman who interacted with me in 6 months. I can’t schedule more dates because I don’t get any likes. I probably won’t have another conversation for another 6 months.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 01:18 AM
4

I workout often. I’ve taken every piece of advice there is for the profiles, nothing makes a difference. I can’t relocate. I’m already close to the largest metro area that’s anywhere near me. I’ve got nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 12:36 AM
-1

Yeah, billions of women and not a single one of them will go out with me. I can’t date women based on any kind of foundation because no woman will date me.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 12:33 AM
2

Definitely not going to treat myself. I’ll shift from the planned hip cocktail place for the date to the darkest dive bar in town where I can hide from the world.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 12:08 AM
5

I’m 45 and it’s impossible to get any woman of any age to even have a cup of coffee or a drink with me.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 10:02 PM
7

Dating in my 40s is absolutely impossible, I can’t imagine 50s. Hopefully I will have just given up by then.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 09:56 PM
3

I just want to have sex again, ever in my life. I haven’t touched a woman in any fashion in over 6.5 years. I’m pretty sure I never will again. I got divorced 5 years ago and haven’t been on a single date.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 04:09 PM
1

I can’t date. I’ve been on apps for years. No woman wants anything to do with me. I can’t move on because there’s literally nothing to move on to and there never will be.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 04:43 PM
2

I like how it says, 'it's impossible to get zero matches on hinge,' when I have taken every piece of advice and get literally zero matches on hinge.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 03:06 PM
2

Thanks. I had not see him before. I don't use social media at all (other than dating apps), so I will try to figure out how instagram works and take a look.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 02:56 PM
2

Thanks. Again, I’ve done that. I’ve been on multiple apps for years. I’ve incorporated every piece of advice, even though it’s often conflicting and I have to pick and choose. I get basically zero likes no matter what I do.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 02:48 PM
1

I appreciate that. I already workout as much as I can, it’s one of the few things I can do alone. I read for a living. I read for pleasure….a lot, because again it’s one of the few things I can do completely alone.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 02:44 PM
2

I have been trying to date for 5 years and failing miserably. No woman wants anything to do with me. I’ve been on zero dates. This is how I know that I’ll never have anyone.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 02:38 PM
4

I am 5+ years post-divorce. I feel something similar. The biggest issue for me is that I know that I will never have a relationship again, never experience companionship, or ever have sex again. It's been over 6.5 years since I had any form of intimacy and I know that I will never have that again. I feel more alone now and less like a person than I did the day I got divorced. I am further removed from any sort of connection. Don't get me wrong, I don't want anything to do with my ex. I just know…
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 02:20 PM
2

I’m 5 years post divorce. The hits never stop coming.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 12:50 PM
4

Nobody will ever date me anyway, so I’m effectively avoiding this problem.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 06:53 PM
1

It is pre-written. Nothing will ever get better.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 11:25 PM
2

Tried everything. Nothing works.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 12:39 PM
2

When I found out she was sleeping with our kid’s soccer coach.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 03:13 PM
2

It doesn’t getter better for everyone. For some of us it just gets worse.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 03:12 PM
3

I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you eventually start feeling again. I have the opposite problem. No woman is interested in me and no woman ever will be. I’d take some meaningless sex if I could get it.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 03:11 PM
1

Good for you. I know I'll never kiss a woman again. It's been 6.5 years since I touched my ex. I've been divorced for 5 and haven't had even a single date.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 12:07 PM
1

Can’t find any in real life and don’t get any likes on the apps, so no way to chat anyone up.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 12:06 AM
1

I’m average looking and have two kids. No woman wants anything to do with me.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 09:18 PM
1

Happy for you. No woman wants anything to do with me. I’ve been divorced for 5 years and I haven’t had a date. Barely any likes, they pretty much all end up being fake.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 09:18 PM
1

Happy for you. I have no interest from anyone. It’s been 5 years.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 09:10 PM
-5

Go for it. Be prepared to feel worse about yourself. Unless you’re an Adonis or extremely wealthy no woman will want anything to do with you. Dating is impossible otherwise. We are the garbage that some woman threw away. No woman will ever want anything g to do with that.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 02:15 AM
1

You’re a divorced man with kids. Nobody is going to date you anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 06:12 PM
1

Thanks. I have hobbies l, I have pictures of them. I’ve tried various versions of funny. Nothing works.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 11:55 AM
1

I guess I just want to attract like anyone who would have me…ha ha. I don’t have any sort of niche I’m into.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 10:09 PM
1

Thanks. I don’t have anything about me that stands out (tattoos for example). I’m just average in every way. I get pretty much zero matches.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 08:15 PM
2

Where did you find single adult women in the real world? I don’t see any women anywhere who aren’t wearing a wedding ring or who don’t have a man with them.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 07:15 PM
1

How the heck do you manage this? I can’t even get a woman to have a cup of coffee with me.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 07:13 PM
2

Ha ha. If only it were possible to get laid occasionally.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 02:44 PM
9

I've been divorced for 5+ years after being with my ex for 20 years. I have been trying to date the entire time, but I have yet to find any takers. No women have any interest in me. It's miserable, depressing, and isolating. I haven't touched a woman in 6.5 years and I know I never will again. I think dating, or even the occasional hook-up, would have helped me immensely, but it's just not possible.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 02:42 PM
3

I’ve traveled on my own a number of times post-divorce. I just end up lonely and depressed (just like when I’m not traveling). I’ve vowed to never do it again.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 06:24 PM
1

I don’t. I did start out with a positive attitude, even after the divorce I was pretty positive. Now it’s been 5+ years with zero dates and zero interest from any woman. Positivity isn’t an option anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/26 01:45 AM
4

I have never done it. I don’t think I ever could bring myself to do it. But I haven’t touched a woman in 6.5 years. I will probably never will again. Paying would probably be my only option.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 07:06 PM
3

The kids are with me but it’s still empty, lonely, and hell. I’m 5+ years post-divorce this feeling never goes away. At the end of the day, the kids are asleep and I’m completely alone in the world.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 12:12 PM
2

She’s a stranger, but there will never be anyone else to take her place. I’m the garbage that’s been thrown away, nobody would ever want anything to do with me.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 10:06 PM
1

I’ve been targeting women near my own age. I’m 45. I have filters set for 35-55 for example. I am absolutely ok with a woman having kids of her own. I’m not trying to date 22 year old instagram models or whatever. The pool is as similar to me as possible. There are zero women with any interest.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 10:35 PM
1

This is not legal where I live or anywhere nearby. No judgements on anyone who goes this route, but I could never do it. Even if it I believed it were being ethically practiced (no human trafficking or whatever) I’d be too afraid of disease, guilt, etc. I have traveled places where it is legal and availing myself of these services was never appealing to me.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 09:23 PM
1

Thanks. I have read it, as well as Feeling Great, and his other one on self-esteem (I forget the title). There are no single women anywhere that I could talk to hence I don't talk to any. If there were single women I don't think I'd have the nerve to talk to them anyway. I'd just be bothering them. They clearly wouldn't be interested in me since they'd be the same women who constantly reject me on apps anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 06:30 PM
1

I don't talk to women about my problems. I don't talk to single women at all. There is no way for me to do that. I have zero confidence. It's completely tanked in every aspect of life. I'm on the outskirts of a metro area with a population of over 5 million. I get out as much as I can, even though I don't feel like it. I go to every social thing I am invited to, I go the gym, I go to all the country club social events, I go to all my kids' activities - sports, school fundraisers, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 05:54 PM
1

There's really not. No single woman will even talk to me, let alone go out with me. It's been over 5 years with zero interest from anyone. I've lowered my standards to the point where they're basically non-existent. I have taken every piece of advice there is.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 05:08 PM
2

For me it’s been over 6.5 years and counting. It’s not for lack of trying. No women want anything to do with me. I’ve been divorced for over 5 years and no woman has given me her number. My ex was the last woman I’ll ever touch apparently. Do whatever makes you happy. If you want to be with someone do it. Take whatever happiness or pleasure you can even if it’s not long term. I’d be willing to be with almost any woman who would have me at this point, but none will.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 03:17 PM
1

It doesn’t get better. I’m 5 years post-divorce and every day is worse.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/26 09:46 PM
1

I feel you. I got divorced 5 years ago and nothing has gotten better. Everything seems to just keep getting worse. I also feel the never having sex and being alone forever piece. I am fit, I take care of myself, I do everything right, but no woman wants anything to do with me. I haven't even been on a date in the 5 years I've been single.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 05:59 PM
1

Sorry. Only place I have to vent. I don’t look forward to it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 11:53 PM
1

Nothing. There is nothing to look forward to, ever.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 07:14 PM
2

I appreciate this. So tell me what those things are I need to do. I have done them. I am doing them. I have done everything I can come up that isn't ethically objectionable. I do the things that have worked for others and they don't work. They don't even help. I do not know what choices I can make that are different. I've been doing therapy for years, even pre-divorce after several family members died. I've changed therapists and modalities several times. I have tried meds ranging from combinati…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 12:53 PM
1

I don’t buy that. It’s also not just sex, but sex is certainly part of it.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 02:40 AM
2

Yeah, so did I. I haven’t been on a single date and I know I’ll never have sex again.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 02:11 AM
1

There is no help to get. I am a functional person. I do all the things I have to do. There is no way to actually feel good while doing it.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 12:43 AM
2

I appreciate the sentiment. I am hopeless though. This weekend was the 5 year anniversary of being single. It’s been 5 years without a date. I haven’t touched a woman in 6.5 years. After years of failing I’ve decided to just give up hope.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 12:32 AM
0

Thanks. Nothing you can do to help. It’s just the loneliness, knowing I’ll be alone forever. I can’t handle it.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 12:05 AM
1

I’m happy for you. I’m 5 years post-divorce. Nothing gets better.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/26 11:52 PM
-2

It doesn’t get better for everyone. This is false hope for some people.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/26 11:39 PM
2

I’m 5 years out. I have my kids and I have friends, but I’m still painfully lonely and miserable all the time. It will never change.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/26 12:25 AM
1

Thanks. I appreciate the kind words. I don’t think I can ever make this mindset shift. It’s just not back up by empirical reality. Zero single women have any interest in me, like on apps, will have any interaction with me in person, etc. Having any confidence with women would just be delusional at this point. No woman who is single has spoken to me or been willing to spend any amount of time with me in 5 years.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 10:38 AM
1

Thanks. It's been 5 years and no single woman has even wanted to talk to me. I can't see how that would change. I do not use any social media. I have tried dating apps, but I don't use social media for anything, ever. I do not plan to start. I'm a 45 year old dad. I have no business being on social media. I also don't use it because of my job.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/26 03:14 PM
1

You’re right, I have zero confidence. I don’t see how I’d possibly gain any back with nothing but failure.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 08:30 PM
1

I’m not trolling. I’m just in a bad place with this and it really affects me. I don’t know any single people. Literally every adult person I know is married (or in a non-married long term relationship). I don’t have anyone to commiserate with or talk to about this.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 02:37 PM
0

Thanks. I'm not good enough apparently.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 01:58 PM
1

I am near enough (outskirts) of a metro area with a population of about 5 million. It's not rural, but it's not NYC, LA, etc. Drastically changing my location is not really an option based on my career.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 01:57 PM
1

I'm happy for you. Like I said, I have not come across any woman who would even have a cup of coffee or a drink with me in 5 years of trying. That's not going to change. I am just not good enough along whatever dimensions women are using for their evaluations.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 01:50 PM
0

I already do what I can. I dress professionally or nicely when casual, I'm well groomed, I workout 5 days a week (normally), I play a sport, I go to every social thing I can, I travel when I can, I try new things, I have friends, etc. I'm not a homebody sitting alone in the dark (that's what I want to do, but force myself out of it - most of the time). What I can't control that is apparently disqualifying is that I'm not tall, I'm average to below average looking, I am a full time dad with two k…
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 01:37 PM
1

I’ve done my best evaluation. I don’t think there’s anything I can do about the factors that make me inherently undesirable.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 01:22 PM
0

No woman wants anything to do with me. I’ve been trying to date for 5 years and have had literally zero interest. That’s never going to change.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 01:16 PM
5

If I knew how to make the desire go away I would. I’ve been divorced for 5 years, I haven’t touched a woman for 6.5 years, and I know will never have the chance to again.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 12:40 PM
2

It never gets better. You just have to come to accept that it doesn’t matter because you don’t matter. We are the human garbage that’s been thrown away, so nothing that happens to us matters.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 01:05 AM
1

Midwest, US
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 03:38 AM
3

Thanks. I really don’t matter though. My entire life has reinforced this and at 45 it’s impossible that it will ever change. I am not good enough along some dimension (I don't even know what it is), I just don't possess intrinsic value to ever matter to anyone. People tolerate me as long as I’m useful to them, then I’m thrown away like the human garbage that I am. I have friends so long as I don’t ask anything of them. I have relatives who I gave up on a long time ago because they made it clear …
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 12:22 PM
2

I’ve tried various combinations of meds, various types of therapy, throwing myself into work, focusing on the kids (I am THE parent - it’d be impossible to be any more involved), traveling - experiences new things, exercise, sports, hang out with friends, etc. I function. I go through the motions every day. I have tried/am still trying every suggestion there is. I would try anything legal that I don’t deem immoral. I don’t know what a tool would do. End the isolation? End the hopelessness? Give …
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 12:52 AM
3

Been looking for help everywhere. I’ve done all the things you’re supposed to do and I keep doing them. Nothing helps. Some wounds just never heal. There’s just some things that are so bad that there’s no way to come back from them I guess.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 06:35 PM
5

I’m 5 years out and it’s still constant. Night is the worst. Laying in bed, not sleeping, crying myself to sleep alone every night for the rest of my life. Then wake up at 2 or 3 am and do it again.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 04:22 PM
1

You’re absolutely right. They probably didn’t. But it made me feel that way regardless.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 05:09 PM
1

I hear you. The kids both had sleepovers last night. I forced myself to go out to a nice restaurant and I sat at the bar alone and ate and had a cocktail. I hated every second of it because I was alone and felt humiliated for being out alone.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 03:26 PM
1

Yeah. The issue with childcare might be partly imagined on my part, but I feel guilty. The kids already have abandonment issues. I feel guilty and like I’m contributing to the problem if I’m not with them. They’re also a safe space for me. At least I don’t have to worry about rejection if I’m with them. I would never do an au pair. I can’t have some young woman living in my house. I’d never do anything inappropriate toward anyone but it’s fruitful grounds for false accusations. I take similar pr…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 02:49 PM
1

I have the kids 6 days a week currently. They spend one weekend a month at grandparents to give me a break and they have sleepovers at friends houses sometimes. They’re at their grandparents this weekend, but I’ll still see them at their activities during the day, just alone at night.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 05:52 AM
1

Thanks. I have been doing therapy for years, it doesn't help. I have switched therapists and methods. I have tried antidepressants for years. they don't help either. I can't stack good days because there hasn't been a good day for as long as I can remember. No choice i can make will change anything.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 05:01 PM
1

It doesn’t always get better. I am years out from my divorce and everything is still a trigger.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 02:40 PM
3

Thanks. It is true though. It's been years and everything just keeps getting worse. There's nothing but pain and that's all there will ever be.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 02:04 PM
3

Thanks. There is no way to have a new life. It's been years of zero progress, of everything getting worse. I appreciate the well wishes.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 02:03 PM
3

I'll never have relationship or even sex again. I might as well be a eunuch. It'd make no difference.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 07:40 PM
4

It meant that I was no longer a real person. I am no longer a "man" because no woman would ever want anything to do with me.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 06:59 PM
5

Nothing good happened. I am not a real person anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 06:11 PM
2

Ha ha. This is like when people with a LOT of money say money doesn’t matter. You only say it’s not important when you already have it. I workout 5 days a week (sometimes more), play a sport. I have the most stable and secure career there is. I am the primary parent and i do everything for the kids, I am involved in every single damn thing they do. I do their homework with them, I chaperone their field trips, I coach their teams, I’m at all the school fundraisers, I’m at every practice, every ga…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 05:16 PM
1

Ha ha. I’ve changed a number of times, since they don’t have anything helpful to offer. I think they’re all pretty much the same though.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/26 12:14 PM
1

I have tried every app there is, including Feeld. I have never gotten a like on feeld, literally zero interaction with anyone. That and FB dating are the ones where I’ve never gotten even a single like. At this point there is a lot of self loathing. My complete failure in this area has a decent amount to do with it. Knowing that I’ll always be alone and that I’ll never even have sex again gives me a pretty bleak outlook. I have done therapy and I’m still doing it. I socialize, I have a hobby, I …
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/26 12:12 PM
1

Nothing makes me happy. I go through the motions, nothing feels good.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 04:38 PM
1

I do these things. I was at a bar watching a game with friends last week, at a friend's party the week before. I played a sport with friends last night. I do all of the things that people tell you to do. I put myself out there on every app there is and no woman wants anything to do with me. There is nothing but hell inside, nothing but hell behind me, and nothing but hell in front of me. I do not see how it will ever change. I do not have faith that anything will ever get better. The best predic…
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 03:51 PM
2

I did watch the video you previously sent. Also, I am a completely functional person. I am just an unhappy one. I do my job, I take care of my kids, I workout, I travel, I'm involved in everything my kids do, I show up to every social thing I get invited to, I go to therapy, I play a sport. I do every damn thing that a person/a father is supposed to do. I don't do the thing that cause people problems. I smoke or do drugs (I never have), I rarely drink (once a week at most and then not more than …
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 03:32 PM
2

I don't know that that means. Happiness can't exist when you're completely alone in the world and know that you always will be.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 03:24 PM
1

Thanks. I've tried fixing myself. There's no way to do it because I know that I'll always be alone and I have no future. If I'd tried to have flings immediately, if I'd been able to have flings immediately maybe I'd have any sort of or hope or feel like I have some value today.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 03:15 PM
1

In 4+ years post divorce I have not been on a date. I have not gotten a phone number. I have not met a single woman. I have zero prospects. Dating apps don't work - zero likes for months at a time. The few likes I do get don't talk, aren't real, are selling something, etc. Since the apps don't work, there is no way to meet women. I'd date any woman who would have anything to do with me, none will. I know that this will never change. I will never have sex again (already been 6+ years) and I will …
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 02:33 PM
0

You should absolutely date and have as many flings as you can. It obviously won't be anything serious or long term. If you don't do it now then you may never be able to. As someone who can't date, I'd do almost anything to have a fling or even a date.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 02:17 PM
1

I’ve done that. Still doing it. It doesn’t help at all.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 05:20 AM
1

My mindset doesn’t impact whether a woman likes me on an app. I can’t even get beyond that stage to ever meet them in person, where they’d undoubtedly reject me. I have no value. My attitude doesn’t change that.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 09:09 PM
0

This doesn’t make sense. Say what to myself? I’m as exasperated with this as everyone on here apparantly is with me. How does talking to myself change anything?
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 08:25 PM
2

Ha ha. It's the only way I'll ever see a naked woman again, so I will probably do that at some point. I'm sure it'll make me feel worse.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 07:37 PM
1

I'm happy for you. It's false hope for some of us. There is nothing but pain and loneliness for the rest of my life.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 07:08 PM
1

Yeah. I take care of the kids, not the other way around. My problems aren't their problems and they're too young to understand any of it anyway. Everyone is busy and married. I can't date because nobody will date me. I can't have sex because no single woman will even speak to me. I relate. I spent the vast majority of my time alone and not speaking to anyone. Work is solitary and work colleagues aren't real relationships anyway. Most days the only people I speak to outside of work are my kids. I…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 06:53 PM
1

I had a home. I mistakenly thought somebody cared about me. I thought I had some value to someone. I didn’t feel like I was absolutely alone in the world. I had someone to talk to. I had a future, things to look forward to. Now I know it was all a lie and that nobody could ever care about me.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 06:48 PM
0

You don't know anything about me. I do difficult things every day. I am scared, you're right about that. I would never go out and meet people because I know the outcome wouldn't be good. I'd be a nuisance intruding on other people. They'd never want anything to do with me. I'll stop wasting your time.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 06:17 PM
1

I am sick and tired. I have been years. I do not understand how to change anything.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 06:15 PM
-2

ha ha.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 06:12 PM
0

Yes. I can go to the gym on my own without anyone else, which I do. I can put on headphones and do whatever there. It doesn’t depend on other people. I can’t go out and do something social if I have no one to do that with. I can’t go out and hang out with people when everyone I know is married, has a real life while I’m alone. It doesn’t matter what I pick, I’ll be alone, self conscious about being alone, and hate it, so there’s no point. I’ll just feel worse about myself. You’re right on the th…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 03:31 PM
0

I’ve done CBT, DBT, IPT, EMDR. I’ve tried meds ranging from Prozac to ketamine therapy. I don’t know how it’s relevant but I don’t bench anymore due to multiple sports related shoulder injuries and surgeries. I squat 405 and trap dead about 455, which isn’t great, but semi-respectable. I am not overweight. I can get a babysitter sometimes. There aren’t many people I trust. Also; I just don’t have anything to do to warrant a babysitter or I don’t have any energy left to do anything. I also feel h…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 02:53 PM
1

Ok. I don't understand. I know that no one cares about me or ever could. That's reinforced every day. I do hard things every day. Every day is an impossible task with nothing but stress and pain, but I do it. Nothing is easy. Just surviving is hard. Happiness is impossible.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 02:37 PM
1

Thanks. I appreciate the sentiment.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 02:10 PM
1

Ok. That makes sense. I don’t smoke or do drugs. I don’t drink very often.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 02:09 PM
1

I’m sorry you went through that. Cases are currently done. I’ve been the one initiating trying to keep the kids away from her and her abuse. I’ve tried things and I’ve hated all of them. I do play a sport. It doesn’t help. I have my career. There’s not really a way for me to make more money. I workout every chance I get. It doesn’t help. No single woman will talk to me, so this isn’t an issue. I solo travel at least once a year. It doesn’t help. I’ve consumed every book and podcast that people r…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 01:59 PM
0

I’ve been in therapy for years. I’ve gone through different therapists. None of it helps.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 01:00 PM
0

You’re right. I don’t have goals or a mission. There’s nothing I care about and I’d fail anyway. I work, take care dd the kids, and wait until I die. The only thing I actually feel a desire to do is have sex and that’s not an option for me.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 12:00 PM
0

I’ve changed therapists a number of times. It doesn’t help.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 11:58 AM
1

There is no moving on after what she did to me. There’s no moving on when I have no future. Work, take care of the kids, wait to die.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 11:56 AM
1

I don’t really have free nights due to the kids. I do play a sport one night a week if I can get a babysitter.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 11:50 AM
0

Great. There’s no way for me to save myself though. I’m beyond saving.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 11:47 AM
1

I don’t even know what that means.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 03:50 AM
9

I had a home. I mistakenly thought somebody cared about me. I thought I had some value to someone. I didn’t feel like I was absolutely alone in the world. I had someone to talk to. I had a future, things to look forward to. Now I know it was all a lie and that nobody could ever care about me.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 03:49 AM
1

I don’t even know what this would mean.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 03:46 AM
1

There is no joy. There’s no positive feelings at all.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 03:44 AM
3

I get it. There’s nowhere else to go career wise.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 03:13 AM
3

I’ve done that. I hate it.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 03:11 AM
1

Yes. Have been for years. It doesn’t help.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 03:09 AM
3

I have a career. That won’t change.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 03:08 AM
5

My mindset doesn’t change reality.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 03:04 AM
1

I’ve done stuff. I force myself, but i hate it all. I have no future other than misery. There’s nothing there to think about.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 03:04 AM
3

I have traveled the world. I’ve traveled post divorce. I’ve tried other things. There’s nothing I enjoy. I hate everything I do. I hate every minute of the day.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 03:03 AM
1

No woman will date a man that another woman has thrown away. We are all human garbage in their eyes. Someone else’s trash.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 02:42 AM
3

I’ve done therapy, I am still trying it but it doesn’t help. I’ve tried various meds, nothing helps.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 02:38 AM
1

It’s been 4+ years and every day is worse.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 02:30 AM
1

I would date any woman who would give me the time of day.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 02:23 AM
1

False hope.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 02:14 PM
1

I don’t think so. My experience has shown that no woman wants anything to do with me. 4 years and zero interest from anyone.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 09:16 PM
1

Nothing I have done has made has made any difference. I have been completely powerless and lost the entire time and I'm 4+ years out. Nothing makes a difference. I don't know what I could have done. Faked my own death and moved to the other side of the planet I guess.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 02:30 PM
1

Ha ha.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 08:40 PM
1

I’m trying to date. No woman wants anything to do with me.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 08:40 PM
10

Never trust anyone. Nobody ever really cares about you. Never get married.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 02:54 PM
1

Dating has been impossible. I haven’t had a date in 4+ years of being single. I’ve been stood up a few times but that was the closest I’ve gotten. I haven’t had sex in over 6 years (with my ex).
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 11:55 AM
2

Thanks. Nothing helps me, hobbies, travel, meds, nothing, but I appreciate the sentiment.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 08:42 PM
2

I am 4+ years out. I am lonely every minute of every day. Nothing cuts through it. I am completely alone in the world and I always will be.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 07:26 PM
2

Yes. My ex never loved me. We were together for 20 years. I will never recover from her. I will never be with anyone again no matter what I do. You mention feeling cursed. I absolutely feel like I am cursed. Some people are just stuck living miserable horrible lives with no escape. I'm one of them. I can only cope with it by reminding myself that nothing that happens to me matters because I don't matter. My emotions don't matter, my needs don't matter, my health doesn't matter. I will work, take…
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 07:25 PM
1

Thanks. This reads as true to my situation. It just does not matter what I do, nothing helps, nothing changes. There is no moving on, there are no good days, there is no future.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 02:11 PM
1

Done that too. It doesn’t help.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 07:21 PM
1

I've been doing therapy for years. It doesn't help.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 07:12 PM
2

I appreciate the sentiment. I am alone aside from strangers on the internet I guess. ha ha. I've looked for happiness everywhere. It's nowhere to be found. It doesn't exist. It's all just going through the motions to do the things I have to do until I die.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 06:16 PM
2

I have been doing this for years now. Just filling the time with anything. The truth is that it doesn't help. I think I am going to go back into just sitting in the dark alone mode in my free time, because I feel the same whether I'm doing something or not. At the end of the day I'm still completely alone in the world, absolutely broken, and always will be.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 02:37 PM
1

Thank you. I will look into that. I have not come across this before.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 05:50 PM
2

Ok. I want things to change but I’m at an absolute loss as to how to do it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 02:50 PM
1

Yes, agreed; I don't really meet people. I don't have a way of doing it; Yes, agreed, it sucks beyond words. I don't have any freedom. I have a job and two kids. I am stuck where I am doing the things that I have to do. To be perfectly honest, even if I did have freedom there isn't anything that I would even want to do. I force myself to do things and I hate every minute of it. All I really want is to have copious amounts of sex. That's just flat out not available to me. I can't even get a woman…
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 02:15 PM
0

So what's your secret then? How are you able to move on and find any level of happiness?
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 02:09 PM
1

Yeah. It doesn’t get better. It only gets worse.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 01:23 PM
1

I've done therapy for years, still trying, it doesn't help. Like I said, I have tried every suggestion there is with respect to the apps. I change my profiles all the time to try different things, delete the account and reset, I've had them reviewed by random people on here (who always just give conflicting advice), etc. Nothing has ever worked. As I said, I am miserable, but I fake it enough to get through every day as a functional human being. I am relatively successful. I don't think women ca…
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 12:57 PM
1

People have suggested this. I could never do it. I’d end up getting arrested, getting some horrible disease, something.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 12:42 PM
1

I have done this, not the pay for sex part. I have had profiles on every app there is. I have taken every piece of advice there is in changing my profiles. I get almost no likes. The ones I do get never pan out, they aren’t real, they aren’t actually interested, they ghost me, or they occasionally stand me up. There’s tons of women on all of them. They just don’t want anything to do with me. I’ve been trying for years. It’s impossible.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 12:36 PM
1

I agree. F her. She’s the worst person I’ve ever met. That doesn’t change the facts of my life and that they’ll never change. Therapy, meds, exercise, travel, work, kids, etc. it doesn’t matter what I do. I am miserable every day. I feel just as bad as I did the day I found out she was cheating on me. Nothing has gotten better, nothing helps. Every day I feel worse. I don’t have a shot. There are no second chances. Nothing can change.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 12:27 PM
1

I am completely alone (aside from 2 young kids) and I always will be. You get one shot at life. I picked the wrong person and the wrong person pick me. Now my life is over and I will be alone until I die. Work, pay, drive kids, repeat until I die. I have tried everything that you’re supposed to try. I’ve been going through the motions for 4+ years and I have hated every minute of my life. Honestly all I really want is to have sex. That’s not an option because no woman will even talk to me. I hav…
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 12:07 PM
1

It's been 4 years. It has only gotten worse.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 09:04 PM
1

There is no moving on. I will never have anything again. It's been over 4 years. There is nothing after divorce. It's a death sentence. I'm sure moving on is the best thing, but there's no actual way to do it. Stuck in misery forever.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 07:56 PM
-3

It doesn’t get better. Everything always gets worse. Divorce is a death sentence.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/26 05:00 PM
1

I’ve also been doing that for years. I’ve also gotten the impression that therapy just isn’t for men as you say.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/26 08:08 PM
1

Been doing that for years. I have switched therapists several times too since it hasn't helped.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 05:04 PM
1

It's not true for everyone. For some of us divorce is the end. There's nothing after.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 04:39 PM
1

Thanks. I've been through a few different therapists and tried a few different approaches.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/26 01:02 AM
1

I’ve been living my life and doing stuff, going through the motions, for 4+ years. I’ve hated every minute of it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 09:44 PM
1

Yes. I was 19-20ish. I had the possibility of a future.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 08:32 PM
1

I really do think that I am. I have no hope and nothing has ever helped.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 08:09 PM
-3

Therapy does not help. I've been doing it for years. I have been through a number of therapists. It doesn't even make a dent.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 05:14 PM
2

Ha ha. Thanks. I’m a lost cause though.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 07:55 PM
0

Thanks. I’m sure whoever that woman was she wouldn’t have wanted anything to do with me. No one does. There’s no shortage of women on apps. There just isn’t anything about me that would ever be appealing to them.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 07:37 PM
1

Thanks. I’m happy for you that things are getting better for you.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 07:12 PM
2

https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/4BzZMgtAB3
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 04:32 PM
5

It doesn't get better for everyone. I don't know how many men there are like me, but there have to be at least some. The idea that anything will ever get better is just false hope. It's been years and everything just gets worse.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 03:04 PM
2

I have been doing therapy for years. I’ve switched therapists several times because I’ve never found what they do helps at all.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 02:36 PM
1

I get it. I can't just ignore everything that happens to me. At some point the entire world has to be right about me. I'd love for anything good to ever happen.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 06:37 PM
1

I don’t have any reason to believe anything different. The way my marriage ended and every event since then has confirmed it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 01:09 PM
1

I’m already too old to date. Waiting longer isn’t going to help. There aren’t any events for single people my age or divorced people anywhere near me. I could never set something like that up. There’s also no interest from divorced moms. That’s primarily who I would be looking for. As far as the numbers game. I have put myself out there to thousand of women on apps. There were absolutely zero women interested. The numbers are why I’m sure it’s hopeless. It’s been 4+ years, I’ve swiped on thousan…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 01:06 PM
1

I don’t have any evidence to the contrary. My complete failures in attempting to date have confirmed to me that her view was accurate. I’m not good enough so nobody would ever choose to be with me.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 03:50 AM
1

Honestly having the kids breaks my heart more. Knowing that my ex is constantly screwing them over and traumatizing them whenever she interacts with them. Most of the time just abandoning them and making them feel unwanted. They’re both already in therapy to deal with the garbage she’s pulled. At the same time I know that it’s only a matter of time before the kids are older and gone. Then I’ll be even more alone. That breaks my heart too. Knowing that as lonely as I am now, that it’s only going …
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 03:43 AM
1

User name was randomly generated. No connection to anything about me. I don’t know. I just know that my life is over. Nothing good will ever happen again. Work, pay, drive kids, repeat. I live the life of a married man. Boring, stable, responsible. Except I’m responsible for everything and once the kids are asleep there’s no one else here. I know that I’ll never have anyone again. I just have nothing to offer. The fact that my ex betrayed me and threw me away like garbage has permeated every are…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 03:32 AM
1

I was really only joking. I’ve never even smoked a joint so there’s no danger of me becoming an addict. Though I’d probably enjoy life a lot more. I volunteer a lot, it’s everything my kids are involved in. I’m coaching the sports, chaperoning the field trips, etc. I don’t have corporate job, so my life is a bit different in that sense. Yes, I’m lonely at the end of the day and all I can do is ruminate and feel pain. There’s nothing that distracts from it, ever.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 02:34 AM
2

I keep faking it, but after 4+ years I have yet to have even one day where I felt better. It doesn’t get better. It just hurts so much all the time. Yeah, after 20 years my ex cheated on me with and left me for an unemployed addict who was physically abusive. She told the kids that he was their new dad, a “real” dad/man, etc. Post divorce she’s become an addict and can’t hold a job. Meanwhile I take care of everything with the kids, work to pay the bills, have a real career, handle literally eve…
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 01:35 PM
2

I am grateful for my kids. There’s nothing else to be grateful for, they’re all I have. It’s not that I’ve been through hell, it’s that I’m still going through hell on a daily basis. Nothing is getting better, it feels worse all the time. That was kind of the point of the original post. Every day feels like the worst day of my life. Or it’s ground hog day and I’m just living the same hell over and over again without end.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 01:24 AM
0

It is a confidence issue. I have nothing to offer a woman. No woman would ever have any interest in me. My experience on the apps and with my ex has made that clear. I'm average looking (at best), average height, I have a boring job, etc. No woman would ever even glance at me.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 03:41 PM
1

No. Nothing brings me joy. I go through the motions, but I hate every minute of every day. I've been following the fake it until you make it approach, but it's all still fake and nothing cuts through the pain. I've been going through the motions for years and I still feel worse every day. I'm open to a new hobby. I tried a couple of things, but they were just more things I didn't actually want to do. I haven't come up with anything that's appealing, enjoyable, or that I can pull off and would fa…
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 03:25 PM
1

Yes, I am still hurting. I will never not be hurting.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 02:51 PM
1

Zero confidence. I have no success on apps. It’ll just be the same women rejecting me in person. I also never run into single women anywhere I go, but if I did I’d never approach them.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 01:25 PM
2

Gotcha. I am athletic and in good shape. I just mean a guy there by himself who has no clue what he's doing.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 04:15 PM
2

I'm 4+ years post-divorce and I haven't been on a date. I don't get any interest from anyone, which has led to zero confidence. I just mean on apps. I don’t approach women in real life. That’s not really an option.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 04:14 PM
5

Yeah. I'd stick out like a sore thumb and nothing would come from it other than me feeling bad about myself for not having the guts to ever talk to a woman.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 03:57 PM
1

Yeah, the problem is getting any girl to chat with me at all.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 03:52 PM
2

Yeah, the problem is having confidence I guess. I've yet to get any girl to even talk to me.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 03:51 PM
2

Thanks. I am glad it got better for you. It has not gotten any better for me. Everything has just gotten worse. The wounds don't heal they just fester and get deeper. Everything feels worse today that it did the day I found out about her affair, the day I was locked out of the house and most of my belongings were in garbage bags in the driveway, the day the divorce was finalized, etc. It all feels even worse now.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 02:51 PM
1

Dating apps. I have incorporated every piece of advice there is and I still get pretty much zero likes. I just don’t have anything of value to offer. I have gone to some group things like book clubs, classes, etc. There’s never any age appropriate single women there. I go to every social thing I get invited to. There are never any single women there. If I did run into an age appropriate single woman in person, I would never have the confidence to talk to them anyway. I went to a speed dating thi…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 03:04 AM
2

Yes. There’s absolutely depression, but nothing alleviates it. It’s lack of companionship, it’s the complete lack of sex, it’s being touch starved, it’s not having anyone to do adult (non-sexual) things with, it’s being completely alone after 9:00 pm every night once the kids are in bed. It’s the betrayal, manipulation, and emotional abuse that I’ll never get over. It’s knowing that I’m completely disposable as a human being and was thrown away like garbage. It’s knowing that I’m such a failure …
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 01:34 AM
1

Thanks for the suggestion. I lit heavy 3 days a week (that’s all my body can take at this point). I played at an extremely high level in my sport and know my way around a weight room. I have not tried TRT. I have two reservations: (1) I know it increases libido and given that I can’t get a woman to so much as have a cup of coffee with me it’d be throwing gasoline on a fire, not in a good way; (2) I’ve looked at some places and read reviews but I honestly can’t tell which are real and which are s…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 08:53 PM
1

Ha ha. Thanks. It’s not just sex, but that’s part of it. I’m miserable every minute of every day. I feel like a complete loser and failure at all times. Yes, a big part of that is the fact that no woman wants anything to do with me. I never stop thinking about my ex and everything that happened. A big reason why is because I don’t see any future for myself in terms of relationships. That’s it, there will never be anything again, because no woman wants anything to do with me. I’ll never even have…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 07:44 PM
1

I appreciate the sentiment, but it won't. I really won't. I can't remember the last time something good happened.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 03:25 PM
1

Thanks. Meds don't help. I'm doing therapy, which also doesn't help.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 03:14 PM
1

Thanks. I appreciate that. I’m sure it won’t.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 03:56 AM
2

Literally nothing ever helps and everything keeps getting worse. There’s zero hope.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 01:38 AM
1

I appreciate the actionable suggestions. I have been doing most of these. They don’t seem to help at all. I don’t push myself socially. There’s no opportunity to do that. I also can’t bring myself to impose on people I don’t know by trying to make them interact with me.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 02:18 PM
2

Thanks. It’s been 4+ years and it just keeps getting worse.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 09:35 PM
1

Thanks. No worries. It’s not harsh. I am still angry and I always will be. She cheated on me, left me, and then abandoned our kids because she’d rather try to kill herself with various substances than be their mom. I’ve done therapy, etc. but I will never not hate her. I am desperate because of the extreme scarcity I’ve experienced. I haven’t had so much as a hug (from anyone other than my kids) in years. However, it’s not like women can sense my desperation through their phone when they see my …
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 02:20 AM
1

It’s been 4 years…
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 01:59 AM
0

Not that any woman cares about. Hence the zero interest from anyone.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 07:23 PM
1

I'm a professor at a major university. I also have two kids. A change of scenery isn't viable.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 07:22 PM
0

I have tried every app there is and I've taken every piece of advice there is. I get zero interest. I have nothing of any value to any woman. I understand myself thoroughly, I've done nothing but dissect myself for years now.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 07:16 PM
0

I've been doing therapy for years. It hasn't helped at all. There are no women who will even give me the time of day.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 06:37 PM
-1

No amount of work fixes the loneliness. Nothing fixes knowing that I'll be this lonely every day for the rest of my life. There is just no way of coping with knowing that I'll always be completely alone in the world. I will never kiss a woman again, I will never have sex again, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 04:35 PM
6

I'm 4 years out and nothing has gotten better. I don't think anything will ever get better. We were together for 20 years. She cheated on me and was horrible generally. She's worse now and has developed substance abuse issues post-divorce. I'd go back to her in a heartbeat. It's better than being alone. I'm so lonely all the time. I have not been on a single date in the 4 years I've been single. No woman wants anything to do with me with no woman ever will. I my job and I have my kids, that's it…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 02:59 PM
2

Not religious. That’s no help. That’s absolutely false hope.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 11:58 PM
3

This is true for some people, but it's also false hope for a lot. Everything just keeps getting worse. Divorce is a death sentence.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 07:49 PM
2

Gotcha. I misunderstood. It seems like all the women are still sleeping with idiots well into their 40s and never make any sort of change.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 09:18 PM
0

That’s absolutely how it is.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 08:53 PM
1

Yeah, they’re sleeping with idiots, alcoholics, drug addicts, abusive guys, etc. If you’re a decent, stable guy they don’t want anything to do with you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 08:45 PM
-4

Dating is impossible. I got divorced 4 years ago after being with my ex for 20 years. I haven’t been on any dates. It is just impossible. Divorce is a death sentence. You can work and take care of your kids, there’s nothing else.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 08:39 PM
1

It doesn’t get better. It’s been years. Every day gets lonelier. Every day is another day further away from mattering to somebody, feeling any form of affection, having a real home, etc. It just keeps getting worse.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 03:16 AM
1

Ok, thanks. I guess I just can't handle the thought of the inevitable rejection and so could never do any of it. I've been universally rejected on dating apps where at least I know that the women are single. I can't imagine it going any better in real life where most of the women will be in relationships.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 03:50 PM
1

I’m genuinely curious. I’ve tried listening to a bunch of his stuff but I haven’t found any of it useful. Is there specific stuff of his you’d recommend or other podcasts?
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 01:20 PM
1

I don’t know if this would help. I don’t think I could handle it. I’d be too afraid of getting arrested or getting a disease.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 10:12 AM
2

I do swipe on unattractive ones. They dont like me either. I met the person I married like 25 years ago, nothing that happened back then applies now, it was college.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 10:10 AM
1

I’ve had women I know look at it and strangers online look at it. I swipe on women and send them messages when I do. I have never gotten a response or a like. Not being overly picky. Literally zero on there in years of trying.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 03:07 AM
2

I have never received a single like on FB dating. Not a single one. I’ve taken every piece of advice there is with respect to profile content, pictures, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 02:18 AM
1

Thanks. I’ve done all that.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 01:39 AM
-1

"Online dating is fairly easy. Pick one app. FB dating is the best. It's free and easy. Update your pictures." This is an absolute lie. I have been single for 4 years and I've been on dating apps the entire time. I have not had a single date in those 4 years. I have tried every app there is and incorporated every piece of advice there is. I get almost no likes, even fewer matches, and zero dates. I haven't touched a woman in years and I don't see how there's any chance that I ever will again. Di…
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 10:00 PM
1

I appreciate the advice. I've tried everything there is over the course of years. There is just nothing left.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 04:41 PM
1

I've done all of that. It doesn't help.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 04:33 PM
1

Yeah, there's just literally nothing worth doing. I have built in time to exercise, but it's just a chore and there's nothing enjoyable about it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 02:11 PM
1

I don't have time for hobbies. My hobby is a male dominated sport, but I don't have any time for it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 10:06 PM
2

All I do is work and take care of my kids. I know that I'm lucky to have my kids. It's all just work. I have people I see and talk to but everyone is married and would never understand. I've been divorced for 4 years and I haven't been on a single date. I haven't touched a woman in 6 years. Nothing will ever change.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 09:43 PM
2

Nothing. I don't look forward to anything. I'm so lonely and hopeless.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 07:56 PM
1

Understood. I check a lot of boxes, but if you swipe on guys on an app some number of them will always be better looking, taller, that don’t have kids already, etc. I am just not good enough to clear the first hurdles for any woman. There’s nothing I can do to change it. I’ve taken every piece of advice there is and changed my profiles a half dozen times at least. Nothing works. I have a good and stable career, I'm highly educated, I'm fit, well traveled, I have friends, hobbies (that I don't ha…
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 02:41 PM
3

I don't. Everything is hopeless. I am completely undesirable to every woman. There is not light in sight. I will be alone forever. Apps do not work. There is no way of meeting women in person.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 07:26 PM
3

I am happy for you. I’ve been out for years and everything just keeps getting worse.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/25 09:20 PM
1

I don't know. It's probably not the right approach. I didn't have a happy childhood and I don't like my birthday at all. I don't like the attention and I feel like at this point it would just make me feel worse or more lonely or whatever. It has never felt like a cause for celebration. My ex reinforced this over the course of our 20 year relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 05:09 PM
-4

It doesn't get better.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 02:41 PM
3

I don't do anything for my birthday. I have my kids full time and just do a normal day/night with the. I don't mention to them that it's my birthday. Even before I got divorced my ex never cared or did anything for me.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 05:39 PM
4

I'm happy for you.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 04:03 PM
1

It doesn't go away. I discovered my wife's affair on our wedding anniversary. This was several years ago. It's still miserable. So are birthdays or anything not specifically related to her since now I have no one.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 02:39 PM
5

I'm happy for you.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/25 07:41 PM
3

I'm in a mid-size city within 20 minutes of a metro area. I work out 5 or 6 days a week. I don't dress like a slob. I get almost zero likes on apps and I do put effort into them and get feedback from people. There are no singles type events around. I did try a nearby speed dating event once and it was a disaster.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 03:58 PM
2

How are any of you getting these dates? Meeting these women? I'm just exasperated. I've been divorced for 4+ years and I haven't been on a single date.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 03:46 PM
3

I've done therapy for years and bounced around trying different therapists. It has never helped.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 07:11 PM
4

This is interesting, well done. I hope it helps some people. It won't help me. I'm years out of my divorce and nothing ever gets better. My divorce was a death sentence. I don't heal, there is no happiness or possibility of a happy ending.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 05:47 PM
11

My wife cheated for years. I knew the guy, not friends, but cordial. I even stuck up for him with his employer and helped him keep his job at one point....while he was sleeping with my wife without my knowledge. I came home from work one day and all my clothes were in garbage bags in the driveway. He moved in a few days later.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 04:45 PM
1

Yeah, the problem is that I have a demanding job and have the kids all the time. It’d just be nice to have someone to do adult stuff with when their spending the weekend at their grandparents (usually once a month), at a sleepover at a friend’s house, or even getting the occasional babysitter.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/25 02:57 PM
2

I would prefer that the woman already have kids, because I don’t want to have anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/25 12:42 AM
5

44, been divorced 5 years. I haven’t been on a single date. I have my kids full time and no women want anything to do with me. If you have kids, it’s impossible.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 05:20 PM
1

I’m fit, have an excellent career, hobbies, friends, etc. I haven’t been on a date since I got divorced years ago. I get almost no matches on dating apps (maybe 1 match every couple of months). The matches I do get ghost me or stand me up when I set up a date.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 06:10 PM
-4

In my experience, women will not date a man with kids. Even single moms want nothing to do with single dads. This might be different for a man who is a complete adonis or extremely wealthy. The simple answer is that divorce is a death sentence for dads.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 02:53 PM
1

Thanks for the comments. There aren't anything like men's or dad's groups around. As far as my ex, I try to ignore her until I'm in a spot to read the communications or listen to the voicemails so that they don't derail my day. I also silence my phone at night, since she has the tendency to be up all night texting me nonsense. Her correspondence ranges from childish insults to recounting affairs she had while we were together to details of her current sex life to legal threats. She also talks ab…
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 05:17 PM
3

Ha ha. More like getting raw dogged….
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 08:18 PM
5

I’m a single dad with two kids. I have the kids 6 days a week right now, sometimes 7. Ex psychologically torturers me and emotionally abuses me constantly, like she did when we were married. Nothing but bad things have happened to me for about the last 6 years. I have no support from anyone. I’ve tried dating but no woman wants anything to do with me and I’ll never be with anyone in even a casual way ever again. My divorce was a death sentence.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 07:44 PM
7

I'm 5 years out and everything continues to get worse. I know that things will never improve for me. I'm glad that you made it to a good place.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 06:28 PM
1

It’s the truth.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 08:48 PM
-1

It's better that you have no libido, no woman will go out with a divorced guy, let alone sleep with him anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/25 07:24 PM
4

Good for you. My ex was similar except that she was only sleeping with other people and not with me. One day I hope to have sex again, but it's not looking promising.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 08:20 PM
1

You’re right I am pessimistic. It is constant and it does weigh on me in serious ways. There’s just no way out of it.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 09:16 PM
2

That’s not possible. Women can’t sense my insecurity when they look at my picture in some app. Also, I’m sure I’d screw it up if I did meet a single woman because I have no confidence, but there’s no way to gain confidence because no single woman will talk to me.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/25 05:30 PM
1

At this point, I have zero confidence.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 08:29 PM
5

I'm average looking. I'm 5'9". I dress in a put together way. I'm 44 and a full time single dad, which I know impacts things. My approach has been to put serious effort into online dating, tweak it and try again. That's all I can do. Like I said, I go to every social thing that I can, but there aren't any single women. No single moms at any of my kids' activities, no single women at friend's parties, none at country club social events, none at work (which I wouldn't want to do anyway), none at f…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 08:24 PM
3

I'm at five and a half years without a single date. I go to every social thing that I get invited to. I exercise nearly every day. I have a good job. Not a single woman will have a drink or a cup of coffee with me in five and a half years of trying. Dating does not exist unless you're an adonis or independently wealthy (if you are either of those things you must be at least 6'2").
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 08:15 PM
7

I’m glad you find happiness in things like this. I can’t find any anywhere:
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/25 02:04 PM
2

Resources...ah, buy them stuff. That makes sense now.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/25 10:01 PM
9

And how would any divorced man with kids get a fresh 20 year old or even any woman?
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/25 07:30 PM
1

I am sorry for you. I had a similar experience and I'm in a similar place. I totally understand what you are saying. It doesn't get better.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/25 07:30 PM
1

Yes, I really feel this way. Nothing ever gets better and there is literally nothing I can do about it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/25 12:28 AM
-5

It doesn't get better. Things continue getting worse. No woman will ever have anything to do with you. Now I will get blasted by the lucky and very select few who were able to have a life post divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 10:37 PM
3

Thanks man.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 02:55 PM
3

I’ve been single for 5 years. I haven’t been able to get a single date in that time. I’ve been stood up a handful of times. Once you’re divorced life is over, especially if you have kids. No woman will want anything to do with us so there will never be new memories or belonging again. All of the old memories are lies.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 02:07 PM
1

Cool response. I never did any of that. I workout nearly every day, I tried therapy for years, I have my two young kids full time, I work full time. I go to any social event that anybody invites me to. But this is clearly wallowing in my own shit and eating myself to death. It does not get better for me.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 01:25 PM
2

You know what you’re right. I initially got on here to see if there was any helpful information or maybe looking for sympathy. I haven’t found either. Nothing will help. Divorce is a death sentence. I’m out.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/25 09:03 PM
1

I’ve done the therapy, exercise, reading, etc. I’m also 5 years out and nothing has gotten better. Good for you. You’re one of the lucky men who gets to have a life after divorce. I couldn’t get a date if my life depended on it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/25 02:09 PM
-1

You. It doesn’t get better for everyone. Probably not for most people. What, you’re one of the lucky few who gets to have a life after divorce? Good for you. Of course I should fuck off if I’m not one of the lucky few.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/25 02:37 AM
-3

It doesn’t get better.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/25 06:51 PM
2

Michigan
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 03:05 PM
1

Good for you. I can't even find any women who will even speak to me, let alone go out with me, forget about sleeping with me.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 11:25 PM
1

At this point, I constantly worry about everything and fall short in every area of life. There’s nobody I can ask for help. I feel like people tolerate my presence rather than enjoying it. If I start asking for things and become an even bigger burden then I’m out. Honestly, I’m not sure how anyone could help me anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/25 12:37 PM
3

I’m having a harder and harder time managing being a full time single dad, dealing with being completely alone in the world aside from two young kids, having nothing in life to look forward to or enjoy, having no hope for the future, knowing that I’ll never touch a woman again, knowing that all my friends think I’m a fucking loser, knowing that my ex cheated on me with half a dozen guys over the course of our 20 years together, watching my kids get more and more fucked up as they figure out that…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/25 12:02 AM
2

I’ve tried. It’s doesn’t do any good or make any difference.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 08:20 PM
2

5 years out, there hasn’t been a turning point. There never will be. It will never get better. In fact, things continue to get worse by the day.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 07:33 PM
1

Peddling false hope.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/25 08:17 PM
1

Live absolutely ends with divorce. Divorce is a death sentence. Anything else is delusional.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/25 10:56 PM
-2

You don’t. There is no way to meet women. Dating is impossible, let alone finding a girlfriend or partner. Divorce is a death sentence.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/25 05:56 PM
-1

You can read all you want, but good luck finding single women to actually interact with. I've read plenty of the post-divorce books. I've never come across one that was actually helpful. For example, Models gets mentioned a lot and is highly recommended by a lot of people. It contains sage advice like 'you should only date women who are interested in dating you.' Cool, that's a population of zero.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/25 01:56 PM
3

People always say something like this, to be happy alone. I am not saying that this is wrong, I just don't understand how it is possible. I cannot fathom being happy knowing that I will never have a partner, someone to take a trip with, have dinner with, have a conversation with, being completely alone at the end of the day, knowing that I'll never have sex again. How can I ever be happy?
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 01:56 PM
6

I'm right there with you. I just know that it'll never happen for me. No woman will ever want anything to do with me. Even when I was with someone for 20 years, she never gave a f*** about me and only tolerated me because she could control and manipulate me and I'd be too stupid to realize she was sleeping with many other people.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 12:57 PM
4

I was with my ex for 20 years. I am 5 years out now. Turns out she cheated on me the entire time and lied about everything. Work trips, girls' trips, out for dinner with fiends, working late - were all just covers for affairs. She ended up leaving me for an affair partner who I knew and was friendly with, in fact at one point I went to bat for the guy and saved his job. He moved in as soon as I moved out. She was physically and emotionally abusive toward me and our kids. She's developed substanc…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/25 03:10 PM
3

We were together for 20 years. I’ve been alone for 5 years now.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/25 11:57 AM
1

I don’t have another 4 or 5 years. I’m already too old to date, too old tor anything to change.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/25 02:27 AM
2

5 years out after 20 years together.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/25 02:04 AM
2

I’m open to things changing they just never do, no matter what I do. Life is just not going to happen for me.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 09:33 PM
9

I’m happy for you. It doesn’t happen for everyone or maybe even most. Divorce was a death sentence for me.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 07:42 PM
0

I go places and do things. There are no age appropriate single women. Again, even if there was, I’d never approach them. Meeting someone at the grocery, a friend’s party, etc. simply does not happen.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/25 05:26 PM
1

There aren't any in person opportunities to meet single women and even if there were, I would never have the confidence to do it. These would just be the same women who reject me on OLD anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/25 02:13 PM
1

I have a good job, I take care of my kids, I have some friends, there’s just no possibility of future relationships with women. No dr. can help with that.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/25 12:26 PM
2

Five years and zero dates.I’ve been stood up a handful of times, that’s the closest I’ve gotten. Obviously no women want anything to do with me. I don’t have anything to offer anyone.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/25 12:24 PM
2

This is exactly what it’s like. I have my two young kids. I have friends and sometimes do things. But really I feel like I’m completely alone. There’s lots of sitting at home alone. I do feel completely worthless and unloved just as you fear. The worst part is knowing that there is no way out. There’s no solution to it. I’ll never meet anyone or feel loved again. I do dating apps and get almost no interest. Every date stands me up.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/25 01:42 AM
1

Gotcha. I guess the difference is that I don't see any possibility of a future for me.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 09:05 PM
2

So...how did you move on quickly? How are you able to date?
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 12:14 AM
4

Good for you. I can’t even get a date.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 02:24 PM
9

I am not there and I never will be. My ex cheated on me with her current bf (along with others over the years). When I moved out he immediately moved into the house that I still pay for. He was someone I knew, not a friend but an acquaintance I was cordial with. I haven't spoken to him since and I never will. I wouldn't piss on him if he were on fire.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/25 02:00 PM
3

I am five years out and things continue getting worse. My wife also cheated and there are about a dozen smoking guns. I don't think it ever gets better. Divorce is a death sentence.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/25 02:36 PM
1

Fair point. I’ve done online dating and still trying to- it’s garbage, there aren’t any singles groups/meet ups/etc. anywhere near me geographically, even if some woman I encounter with kids are single what am I going to do? Walk up and hit on her in front of her kids? I also feel like it’s disingenuous and transparent to sign up for something (like a salsa class) that I have zero interest in just to see if there happens to be a woman attending.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/24 01:11 AM
1

I do all of these things. There are no single moms, no single women in my social circle, at the grocery store. There just aren’t any. I’m a professor, so yes there are single women at work, they are just in their early 20s and off limits. I am currently on vacation (and my kids are with their grandparents - it’s the first vacation I’ve had since before COVID). I spent 12 hours today walking around a foreign country, beaches, shops, restaurants, bars, etc. Just as an experiment I kept my eyes out…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/24 01:21 AM
1

I might as well live on mars.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/24 01:29 PM
1

Ha Ha. I'm not saying that I have nothing to offer. I just have nothing that is in any way appealing to single women, who as far as I can tell don't exist outside of dating apps. Also, yes, I'm desperate, but I don't convey that to single women because I don't interact with any single women in any way.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 02:08 AM
1

5 years of trying, zero dates. There are no single women anywhere I go, I do not know even one age appropriate single woman, let alone one who I’d connect with. There is just no way to meet anyone. If I did manage to find a single woman who was willing to “settle” and go on a date with me, the odds of us being compatible, having chemistry, etc. are minuscule. How many people do you have to go out with before you find one that results in a relationship? Dozens? It’s been 5 years and I’ve had zero…
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 03:03 PM
3

lol
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 06:01 PM
1

I don't either. I don't think anyone does. There just isn't any way out of this. There's nothing after divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 04:43 PM
7

I want it to, but it'll never happen again. The dating part is impossible so the end result is unattainable. Divorce is a death sentence.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 03:26 PM
2

It sounds like you should be the giving the tips about how to hang out with women. ha ha.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 03:53 PM
1

Thanks for the advice. I think I’ve done what I can. I’m just not appealing or interesting to anyone.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 08:59 PM
1

I’ve tried all of the dating apps.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 01:40 PM
6

I'm in kind of a similar place. Everything else in life is ok, but I'm 5 years out and haven't had any interest from women. No dates, let alone anything more. I'm decidedly not ok with it. I can't accept being alone and touch starved forever.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/24 03:28 PM
5

Yes. It made me realize there is no purpose in life. There is no happiness. Everything comes to an end badly. Everything is a lie. I love my kids and will do anything for them, but it's only a matter of time/age before they no longer want anything to do with me. My experience in the 20 year relationship with my ex wife (who had affairs the entire time) and my complete failure to get any attention from women since my divorce have made me realize that no one will ever love me or respect me.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/24 02:27 PM
11

Learn from my mistakes, I still haven't. Get a lawyer now, be ruthless, show no mercy, don't be gracious. I know you still care about her, but once she has a lawyer and enters the echo chamber that she is about to enter, she will attempt to leave you with nothing. Everything will be your fault, including her affairs. Have your lawyer recommend an accountant. Locate every cent of shared assets now before they start disappearing into the ether. I also second DNA testing the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 11:34 AM
1

Thanks. I’ve always done that. I’ve always been in decent shape. I workout in one form or another 5 days a week.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/24 11:49 PM
1

Ha ha. I tried that too.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/24 01:09 PM
3

Wow! These are Wilt Chamberlain type numbers for a 43 year old. I'm sitting here dateless (and obviously sexless) for 5 years. I tried to have rebounds have being with my 20 years (with her cheating the entire time apparently). I've failed miserably. I get that working on yourself is important, but I also feel like it's tough to move on, forgive, start over, heal, whatever, knowing that I'll never have sex again, let alone have a partner. I think what you're doing is a natural and necessary part…
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/24 12:26 PM
7

You can do it yourself, as others have said. You can do a cheek swab or grab some hairs. I went this route. I understand your situation. I have two kids, 10 and 8. I'm certain that my kids have the same father, since they look so similar, I'm just not certain that I'm the father. I was with my ex for 20 years and discovered that she had multiple affairs during that time. I did my own mail in paternity tests. I've had the results sitting in a drawer for over a year and I've never opened them, bec…
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/24 11:58 AM
3

I'm happy for you. But I don't think it gets better for everyone. It hasn't for me.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 12:42 PM
3

In a similar spot in my mid-40s. Zero interest from any women, dating is non-existent, hookups are non-existent.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 02:39 PM
2

I might be interested.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 04:11 PM
7

Nope. Mainly because no woman would ever want anything to do with me. Ha ha.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 06:13 PM
1

This is precisely the issue. There are no women on the apps when I filter that way.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 01:21 AM
4

Clarification: I’d say the minimum age I’d consider would be 30 or 35. I’m absolutely fine with older than that.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 06:01 PM
2

30 at a minimum. Ideally, 35 or older.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 05:17 PM
3

I have no idea. That would be funny.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 05:16 PM
3

I appreciate this, but I’m older than these sorts of hires, established, and tenured, there’s a power imbalance, which is asking for trouble in academia. I know of several cautionary tales.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 04:39 PM
5

I have no desire to date anyone significantly younger. I deal with enough of their shit at work. I also realize it would destroy my career.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 04:28 PM
1

There are not. My department currently skews significantly older.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 04:18 PM
1

There aren’t any age appropriate women on dating apps that are anywhere near me.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 04:14 PM
4

Once the dating apps are filtered for what I would consider age appropriate women, there are no users.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 04:09 PM
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