I’ve searched this subreddit as well as others and haven’t found any advice that has helped.

I (early 40s, M) got divorced a few years ago. I was married for 20 years. A lot of bad stuff went down (she cheated, hid funds, blew through massive amounts of money, smeared me to everyone, lied about everything, etc.).X is now an alcoholic, and I suspect, an addict, so I’m a full time single dad with two young kids.

After therapy, meds, and resolving some health problems of my own, I would love to have an adult friend (fwb, gf, I’d even settle for a one night stand at this point, whatever). There are some obvious complications and time constraints (kids and work). I haven’t been on first date in 20 years. At this point, I haven’t had any physical contact with a woman for several years.

To complicate things, I’m a professor at a university and live in a college town (I’m being cautious with specifics because this is a major university and college town that everyone has heard of). I’ve investigated the normal activities, but all of the dating apps, bars, gyms, coffee shops, grocery stores, anywhere you would ever think of meeting women is almost exclusively college students.

At this point all I can think of is to hire a babysitter on a Saturday night, drive to the nearest sizable town outside of the university area, sit in a bar alone on a Saturday night, and see if I can muster up the courage to approach someone.