I think I’m done

gammaglobe · 2026-07-11T05:00:11+00:00

Radical acceptance. Look it up. And put yourself first.

painfulletdown · 2026-07-11T00:15:38+00:00

Dude, I've faced a lot of the same stuff and I'm basically at peace with it. With the dating stuff there's a lot of toxic women and who they choose is out of my control, so there's no point in getting frustrated. Honestly, I'm probably better off without them and saving my energy and resources for myself vs them is kinda refreshing. With the kids you just gotta understand that they don't know any better and make alot of mistakes. Just enjoy life wherever you can and mock the rest of the stupid stuff.

DudeforRighteousness · 2026-07-10T20:23:03+00:00

Get in the gym

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2026-07-10T20:00:47+00:00

Can you share your dating profile in private so we can check it out for tips?

Reflog1791 · 2026-07-10T19:19:00+00:00

I can DM you the name of my world class former counselor if you like. Took me 4 tries to find this guy. He does remote. I’ve been in your shoes and I love life now.

At one point I was practicing gratitude for a cold glass of water and a soft pillow. It was not easy or fast but eventually I got more than just relief. I built a new life by design and it fucking worked. I still smile when I drink a cold glass of water.

SuspectAwareness · 2026-07-10T19:11:47+00:00

I haven't had to deal with nearly the number of issues you have, but I have ended up in a very similar place after learning of my wife's infidelity and trying to keep the household together a few more years until he's out of the house. The romantic side of the relationship is over. I feel that same sense of hopelessness and am pretty sure I will be alone the rest of my life, as well.

I went through a period of planning to end things around the beginning of the year. Method and a rough idea of place decided upon. I sat down and wrote two notes, one to my son and one to my wife, while they were sleeping.

It was reading those notes, coupled with the guilt of what it would do to my son, that made me take a step back. When I read what I'd written to my wife it sounded pathetic and vicious. When I read what I wrote to my son, I saw how hollow my claims of love were and how little my explanation that I just couldn't take any more would help. I imagined him in therapy, trying to work out why I had done it and how it had affected him. I imagined him in a similar situation without me to turn to. And I realized I couldn't do it and that I'll never be able to do it so long as he's alive.

Your kids need you, too. And will need you for a long time. Especially given how screwed up your ex is.

Continuing to push through every day may not be the choice we want to make, but we're dad's right? Good dads. Which means we sacrifice for the sake of our kids. I'm sure you'll make the right decision every day, because you have to. And if you feel like you can't, you can reach out to me.

kumest · 2026-07-10T17:28:09+00:00

Get back on control! Your are in a hole, many here have been there, you need to re-write your brain, you don't need to be an all time smiling human because ppl who do are faking it, but you need to heal your brain, it's not easy, minimal 6 months, but you are still there, you need to focus on your goals, set goals and follow, set goal that you body likes, I do some calisthenic exercises at home in an empty room, some 10, 15 minutes, body likes.

Also, walk or go with bike, get a beer, watch world cup, its what most humans do, not because it's super fun, life is not easy so have an empty space on the brain lay on the sofa and watch tv.

BTW, I long ago have a theory that a man cannot make a woman happy, its impossible, you can see, not only poor get divorce, also the super rich, In my mind marriage maintenance usually goes from the man and you have to generate 'happiness packages', like something the wife likes and smiles, so you got one day trough, but the thing is, there is no end, eventually you have no more 'happiness packages'.. women usually love to say how the love you, until they don't, and at this moment they hate you, and probably, any other problem she will face in life it will be because of you.

Yeah, you are not alone, keep control, you are in charge of yourself, set the firewall up, be yourself, you don't even need others opinions, what do other ppl have todo with you. fkhem.

mistake-number2 · 2026-07-10T17:21:49+00:00

Right now, in this moment. Celebrate any small victory. Making it thru the day. Making it to the next minute. These are battles noone sees. The are major battles that can take all you have to accomplish it. Any free time you get, just breathe.

Beamformer · 2026-07-10T17:16:20+00:00

Why the self imposed celibacy? If I'm honest I think my ex thought I would be you. She said crap like, I will fix u up with my friends. I'm sure you're a great father, but caring for yourself is one of the examples your kids need to see. As they get older that becomes more true. I just watched my kid stay in a toxic relationship a little longer than he should... I didn't set a good example in that area.

koskesh122 · 2026-07-10T16:56:37+00:00

As someone whose been accused of r*pe and had a 3 year family and criminal court, lost of my life savings, and 1 kid due to alienation, I'm going to say the solution starts with you.

The moment you say "I hate my life", the world answers you in the same way.

Change starts with your words and mind. Next time, say "Thank you lord for the roof over my head, food in my fridge, and dry feet".

Say that every day multiple times a day.

Then walk everyday for 1 hour. Get up to running if you can.

Listen to Charles Stanely on YouTube or put it in the background noise.

Change is possible. But YOU have to ask for it.

I can say since my divorce i am dating and rebuilding my life.

But I got on my knees and asked for it.

Turbulent_Register83 · 2026-07-10T16:38:43+00:00

Hey man, please keep fighting. For your kids, for yourself. Your kids will grow and become easier over time. They will love and appreciate you more over time. Do you have relatives or friends that can help? It may be hard to build community but it's out there. I'm soon to be a single dad watching two kids. They need me and some days it's brutally hard. It's try to block all links to your ex as possible, in a legal way. Maybe even move somewhere if you have full custody.

Title	I think I’m done
Author	Ok_Builder_3285
Upvotes	12
Comments	51
Date	July 10, 2026 3:42 PM UTC (2 weeks ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1usrasp/i_think_im_done/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/i-think-im-done.1584685 https://theredarchive.com/post/1584685

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