~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | How Important is a Prenup for those going through the process?I don't know man. I got put through the ringer and am about to get married again and my current girlfriend has absolutely agreed to prenup. She knew what I went through and actually offered it. Check the laws in your state to see what's needed to make it binding. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/07/26 02:13 PM |
| 5 | I think I’m doneGet in the gym | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/26 08:23 PM |
| 3 | How long did your divorce take?Too fucking long. It's been close to three years since she left and I'm still waiting on the very final order | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/26 11:22 PM |
| 4 | It's very lonely being a single guyYou will be fine. Get in the gym. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/06/26 02:28 PM |
| 2 | The Down & Dirty Truth About Becoming a Divorced DadThis. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/05/26 05:10 PM |
| 3 | How do you forget her?Depends on what you did after she left. If you realized it was for the best even though it hurt you at first, then you can get up every day and look yourself in the mirror and realize how much better off you are without someone dragging you down to hell with them. Otherwise, you can sit there and be upset the rest of your life over a person that didn't deserve your loyalty in the first place. When I look in the mirror I see somebody that lost 115 pounds, has a much better relationship with his c… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/04/26 12:06 PM |
| 7 | It hit me hard againYou can't see it now. But one day you will look back and realize that God allowing her to leave was one of the greatest gifts you've ever been given But, you have to now take advantage of this gift. If you're not in the gym, get there now. Start eating healthier and start focusing on the person you're supposed to be. The person that you couldn't be in that marriage because you were being dragged down. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/03/26 02:17 PM |
| 4 | Divorce isn't a failure.The failure is believing women love the same as men. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/01/26 06:12 PM |
| 2 | I feel like i'm the villainJust saying what helped me. .https://files.fm/u/9hgc89an8c | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/01/26 10:54 PM |
| 1 | Divorce and Regret - Will she regret leaving?Not likely. You have to have a soul for something like regret. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/01/26 07:38 PM |
| 1 | I feel like i'm the villainThis | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/01/26 06:50 PM |
| 5 | I feel like i'm the villainSeek God. Change your diet. Enough to lose at least 2 pounds a week. Then start resistance training. Full body workout 2 times a week. Discipline is no longer optional. This is your life now. If you do this you can thank me later. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/01/26 06:48 PM |
| 10 | How to forgiveYep. She doesn't give a shit about anyone but herself. She lied to herself that it's better for the kids because that's what is convenient. The forgiveness may come in time. But my ex left more than 2 years ago and I'm still not there fully. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/01/26 05:15 PM |
| 2 | What I realized - healthy relationshipsSame. My ex-wife was never affectionate like my current girlfriend. Not even close. I'm not even sure why I'm married her | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/10/25 02:56 PM |
| 2 | Dating after divorce - She sent the money backWe had already moved into sexual territory. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/07/25 12:42 PM |
| 3 | Divorced more than once a red flag?Not at all. Just started talking to her and I’m already starting to see things that may give me pause here. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/25 11:51 AM |
| 3 | Divorce after 20 years.Another post where the guy is fresh and blaming himself for the failure of the marriage. How the fuck are women able to gaslight these guys so well? Cheer up pal. You’ll look back in a few months and realize she had a major part to play as well. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/04/25 05:55 PM |
| 2 | 1 Year and 8 Months Later and Still Can’t Be HappyMy faith has helped. As well as going to counseling, the gym, taking supplements and eating healthier 90%of the time. Also, if you are using porn, do your best to quit. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/04/25 01:10 PM |
| 1 | After DivorceDetox from porn to reprogram your brain. Can take a while. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/03/25 05:41 PM |
| 2 | Wife cheated, I still want her, am I crazy?Yes. MOVE ON. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/03/25 05:40 PM |
| 13 | Has your view of women in relationships changed?Never again, brother. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/03/25 04:14 PM |
| 11 | It's not getting betterIt sucks. But at the end of the day, if you hang in there, you will look back one day and realized just how much she was dragging you down. You need to level up. Get in the gym immediately if you’re not already. More importantly, if you have a faith, you need to explore it further. I’m a Christian and I can tell you that without my faith in Jesus Christ I don’t know where I would be right now, but I can see his hand working and everything that has happened so far. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/03/25 01:36 PM |
| 23 | Say goodbye 👋 cheating wifeMan, all dudes on here that have sons need to express to them just how damn important it is to make absolutely sure the woman they are going to marry doesn’t have red flags to indicate this kind of behavior. It is one of the most critical decisions a man will make in his life, and there are not very many women worthy of marriage in modern society. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/03/25 06:57 PM |
| 1 | Not attracted to women my own age…I would give advice…..if I could ever actually manage to get divorced from this woman. Most women don’t want to date a guy who is in a divorce. Not my fault. She just wants to drag things out like a controlling batshit crazy asshole. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/03/25 06:19 PM |
| 9 | Oh gentlemen, how I hate my lifeIt’s not your fault. Some people just aren’t loyal. Some people are scum. You assigned that loyalty to her because that’s how you are. The process will be painful. But one day you will realize just how better off you are when she doesn’t have her claws in you dragging you down into her sick world. Level up and be there for your kid. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/03/25 01:31 PM |
| 3 | I am getting worse, not betterYep. SSRIs zombified me too…..focusing on my faith, lifting weights, losing weight (115lbs), and taking vitamins helped a lot. Things aren’t perfect but much better than when that mentally sick woman was around. The only thing I wish I had more of was time with my kids. I have 50%. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/03/25 08:12 PM |
| 2 | Not divorced yet. 7 months broken up she’s dating another man for 6 months and it still hurtsIt likely didn’t get better for you because you wallowed in your own shit instead of doing the work to make yourself better. Don’t complain about something that’s ultimately your responsibility. You can’t control what she did to you, but you can control how you respond to it. Sitting around, eating yourself to death, not working out and feeling sorry for yourself is not the correct response. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/25 12:28 PM |
| 3 | Not divorced yet. 7 months broken up she’s dating another man for 6 months and it still hurtsConsider ditching the anti-depressants and get in the gym. She doesn’t deserve you. She never did in the first place. If you’re honest about it, she was dragging you down the entire time. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/25 12:26 PM |
| 2 | How many wives admitted they regret the divorce?There is always a reason. Sometimes it’s a decent one but most the time it’s a shit one. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/02/25 07:15 PM |
| 12 | How many wives admitted they regret the divorce?This. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/02/25 07:14 PM |
| -12 | Guys it’s really simple. Don’t get married period!The thing that sucks for me, though is that I don’t believe in sex outside of marriage. So celibacy is my only option if I never get married again. At the same time, I’m trying to abstain from things like pornography and masturbation. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/25 03:27 PM |
| 2 | Opinions on requesting a guardian ad litem for a 15-year-oldThat’s kind of the issue. His mother guilts the shit out of him. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/01/25 12:18 AM |
| 2 | Opinions on requesting a guardian ad litem for a 15-year-oldI am being an adult, but she’s completely unreasonable. It’s her way or the highway even in spite of what our 15-year-old wants. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/01/25 12:16 AM |
| 2 | Custody dispute after finalization?Wouldn’t I get in trouble if he stays here on the nights he is supposed to be there? | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/01/25 12:00 AM |
| 1 | Soon to be ex wife wants unilateral control - doesn’t get why she doesn’t have itIt’s 50-50 decisions. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/01/25 12:53 AM |
| 1 | Soon to be ex wife wants unilateral control - doesn’t get why she doesn’t have itI should’ve added that he’s already seeing a counselor and has been for quite some time. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/01/25 12:52 AM |
| 15 | The divorce subreddit is sickening!!!!Screw the divorce subreddit you can barely say things on here without getting suspended. Especially commonalities when it comes to how women operate. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/01/25 08:09 PM |
| 3 | "You should be over it by now"She never loved you. She isn’t capable of it. You are a slave someone who hates you. Get some self respect. She never deserved a person like you. A person that actually feels and can love. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/12/24 06:24 PM |
| 1 | Alimony???I have made my lawyer aware of all of these facts. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/12/24 04:40 AM |
| 13 | Marriage is a substitute for love.Animals don’t get married because they don’t have sentience and the ability to think complex thoughts. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/12/24 09:44 AM |
| 5 | How do you get over your ex when she is the mother of your children and you still love her?Imagine getting fucked over by a woman and then thinking the solution is to risk getting fucked over again. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/12/24 09:38 AM |
| 6 | How do you get over your ex when she is the mother of your children and you still love her?Nope. I would argue It’s the person that you thought she was. Not the person she actually was the whole time. We candy coat things and make excuses for people when we love them, even when it flies in the face of all the reality. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/12/24 09:37 AM |
| 2 | This was my doing…I see this a lot near the beginning of the separation, it happened to me too Guys on here take the full responsibility for the failure of the marriage. You may have been an absolute asshole, but no marriage failure is the responsibility of just one person. Own your shit, but don’t own the other person’s. Be more graceful with yourself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/12/24 03:41 PM |
| 3 | I’m lostIt’s just been my experience on Reddit | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/12/24 09:54 PM |
| 3 | I’m lostIf you ask God to reveal the truth of who Jesus Christ is while reading his word, I believe he will reveal it to you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/12/24 09:08 PM |
| 1 | I’m lostI would recommend to start reading the book of the gospel of John. It’s directly after the book of Luke. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/12/24 09:05 PM |
| 2 | I’m lostI recommend John 3:16 first. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” The peace can come through scripture, but only after you have an established relationship with Jesus Christ. “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.“ John 14:27 In order to have that peace, you have to make him Lord of your life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/12/24 08:56 PM |
| 8 | I’m lostI will be attacked for stating this, but the thing that has helped me the most is my relationship with Jesus Christ. I also got to the gym and therapy, both excellent things. But only faith in God has actually helped me with cultivating any semblance of peace. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/12/24 08:38 PM |
| 1 | What does an alimony judgment look like typically in my case?She’s already getting half of my retirement, do you mean that can be done beyond to the 50% that I already owe? Also, thanks for the idea on the imputed income. I will mention it to my lawyer. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/12/24 12:13 PM |
| 1 | What does an alimony judgment look like typically in my case?West Virginia | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/12/24 08:09 AM |
| 1 | What does an alimony judgment look like typically in my case?Is there a way to determine if I’m in a good or bad state? | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/12/24 08:00 AM |
| 7 | UnbelievableIn the temporary divorce hearing, they asked for me to pay her legal fees, but that hasn’t been decided. I will not pay her legal fees or alimony. Pretty much everything else for me was negotiable, but she burned that bridge today. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/12/24 03:13 AM |
| 1 | I’m thinking of making a dating profile, brutally honest like how the women do.Good. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/11/24 09:23 PM |
| 5 | I’m thinking of making a dating profile, brutally honest like how the women do.Mostly a joke. I’m actually not planning on online dating at all. It’s all garbage. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/11/24 07:25 PM |
| 1 | Why Are So Many Men Withdrawing from Society?I don’t think taking part of any of those sexual activities is actually withdrawing from society, but diving deeper into it. The real GigaChad move is to not only disconnect from normal dating, but to also abstain yourself from those things. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/11/24 04:08 PM |
| 2 | Lonely/ Desire companionship/ not sure the risk is worth itSeparated for 17 months. Final in December. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/11/24 07:59 PM |
| 3 | As much as it hurts, it could end up being the best thing for youYeah, I am pretty close to getting a six pack but I’m probably going to do it after the winter is over. I have dropped about 115 pounds. The only thing I’m having to deal with is some loose skin near the bottom. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/11/24 08:34 PM |
| 1 | Hard mode : loneliness and celibacy6 years with not even porn or masturbation? | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/11/24 11:41 PM |
| 1 | Hard mode : loneliness and celibacyI’m actually not interested in peoples interpretation of scripture as much as I’m interested in what God says for my life. Like I said before, if it’s being single, then that’s what it’ll be, but I’m also open to the fact that his will might be different for me. I’ve poured over the scriptures and it’s just not clear. There’s a lot of legalism that pervades the church but there’s also too much liberalism. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/11/24 03:59 PM |
| 4 | Hard mode : loneliness and celibacyThat’s the issue. I don’t know exactly what my beliefs are on remarriage. Doctrinally my theology has always been sound, but I never thought I would encounter this situation so I guess I never really had a firm opinion on it. However, doctrine doesn’t necessarily count for truly walking by the Holy Spirit. Throughout my entire marriage, I did not walk by the Holy Spirit and did not put God in his proper place in my world. I want to follow what God’s will is for my life. If he says I’m to remain … | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/11/24 03:25 PM |
| 1 | Hard mode : loneliness and celibacyI struggle with this as well. I think a balance has to be struck between really seeking God’s will in your life and too rigidly adhering to interpretations of scripture. For all, I know, God does want me to be single the rest of my life, but I’m going to seek him every day and if he does have another person for me, then he will open up that door and make it clear to me. I know that he used the divorce to get a hold of me and do a major work in my life. Notice I didn’t say that he approved of the… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/11/24 03:19 PM |
| 1 | How did you go about "reinventing" yourself after divorce?I’ve been on somewhat of a spiritual journey. God worked in my life. I also have lost 115 pounds and built a decent amount of muscle. I’ve sworn off relationships with women pretty much. I’ve been separated for almost a year and a half, and I can’t ever see myself being in a relationship like that again. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/11/24 11:50 AM |
| 4 | The hardest partThe hardest part for me is thinking how this affects my kids moving forward. The fact that she put herself above everything including them. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/10/24 10:59 AM |
| -4 | All fell to shit and it's 100% my fault.TLDR - what I see looks like OP was gaslit hard. The realization of her faults won’t come until much later, if ever. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/24 10:20 PM |
| 7 | Those who remarried after divorce…I’m sorry that I can’t really contribute to this conversation much. My divorce is supposed to be final in a couple months and I am one of the ones that has sworn off marriage. There wasn’t even any cheating, but after I had my heart broken the way it was I just can never allow myself to be that vulnerable with anyone again. Especially a modern woman. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/10/24 03:44 PM |
| 8 | Social media infection.Definitely part of the problem. Stbxw was a phone addict. Could not be without it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/10/24 06:37 PM |
| 1 | Deep grief has passed but….I’ve been separated for more than a year and supposedly, the divorce is to be final at the beginning of December. The temporary order was 50% custody and it looks like everything will be split down the middle. In the initial court filing, she asked for me to pay her legal fees and I’m not sure if if she’s going for alimony or not. Long story. But those are two things I told my lawyer that are a a no for me. She has her own career. Even though she doesn’t make as much money as me, it’s ridiculous… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/10/24 01:09 PM |
| 1 | Deep grief has passed but….I was never provided with an adequate reason in my opinion. When she left she said abuse…. When I pointed out that I had never laid a finger on her she said “verbal abuse” When I pointed out that I never called her names or anything like that she changed it again to “emotional abuse”…. I had to look it up . I don’t really think that was true either because the times that we had arguments didn’t really qualify for that fully . At the end of the day, neither of us were happy, but she somehow convi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/10/24 08:54 AM |
| 5 | Did you regret getting divorce?I regret that she didn’t turn to God and repent of her wrongdoing and choose to reconcile. I did. God changed me, she is the same as ever. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/10/24 12:28 PM |
| 2 | Deep grief has passed but….If we have proven anything in the last year, it’s that almost all women rate themselves very highly. When in actuality, most of them are average in looks. Society has taught even fives and sixes to be arrogant. I’d be more interested in a woman who was beautiful, but didn’t rate herself that high. There’s no humility in it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/10/24 12:11 PM |
| 3 | Better offI fully believe it has a lot to do with her childhood and the fact that she had a textbook narcissistic father. She also has confirmed severe mental illness. Because of this, I’m trying to be graceful, but it’s still difficult when you were rejected. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/24 12:08 PM |
| 6 | Took a woman out for supper for the first time since the split and I'm all messed up.Came from a rough home. Next. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/10/24 09:15 PM |
| 2 | Opinions pleaseYou’ve already decided to still pay it by everything you have said. She still has control over your mind. You don’t even know what the relationship dynamics really were and it shows. She is playing you like a fiddle and will continue to do so until you grow a pair. She isn’t worth your time. She made her bed by cheating and now needs to lie in it. It sucks, but you need to let her fail. The kids can come live with you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/10/24 07:00 PM |
| 13 | Son, 5 yo Not doing well with divorceWe are told that women are nurturers, but that’s not true in modern society at all. Most women are about themselves first and foremost, even when it comes to doing something that would damage their own child. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/10/24 03:42 PM |
| 6 | ED? Performance Anxiety?? Wtf!?!If you use porn frequently or over an extended period of time then it is likely porn related. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/24 02:50 PM |
| 2 | Talking to this ladyI get that bro. But it’s like at every turn she keeps throwing all these red flags at me to scare me away. I keep thinking that I should get while the getting is good, but there’s something about her that’s intriguing to me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/09/24 01:24 PM |
| 3 | Do most women not love like men or just not capable of loving anyone but themselves?“Incapable of loving” describes my stbxw to a tee. It’s crazy. I would also say incapable of being loved. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/09/24 07:42 PM |
| 3 | DisrespectEven the mere mention of modern feminism as a problem, triggers most women I know. Feminist ideology, especially the modern strain of it has infiltrated every facet of American culture. In my estimation, it is at least partially responsible for the majority of divorces. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/09/24 04:31 PM |
| 3 | Divorce in IllinoisThe female thinks she didn’t do anything wrong. A tale as old as time. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/09/24 12:10 PM |
| 5 | What were the ethnicity/race of your ex-wives?Race doesn’t matter as much as them being bathed in feminist doctrine. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/09/24 10:25 PM |
| 4 | What was the event that led to your divorce? Was it preventative?Years of growing apart. Neither of us operating by the Holy Spirit. Her having severe mental issues, medicated, but still very deep issues. Dead bedroom. No intimacy. She was not capable of being romantic. Didn’t even like kissing. I wasn’t as gentle and understanding as I should have been. Me turning to porn, further driving me away from God’s will for my life. I lived under a spirit of anger (gone now thanks to God.) There was no physical or verbal abuse….but we were both miserable people. I’m… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/09/24 01:57 PM |
| 3 | Talking about his for the first time.The phrase bottomless pit for some reason really reminds me of my stbxw. Is this just a turn of phrase or some thing that a lot of men see? | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/09/24 02:10 PM |
| 16 | Went looking for answers..Rock bottom.Yep. My stbxw is the same way. Can’t even take a moment of self reflection to realize that she did anything wrong in the relationship. She laid the responsibility for the failure of the marriage entirely at my feet. I’m not even sure women are capable of being introspective. But here’s the thing. It was her decision to leave and it doesn’t matter if she ever figures out that she was shitty too. It’s your responsibility to pick up the pieces and move on. You said you’ve changed and I guarantee yo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/24 06:05 PM |
| 1 | First time feeling something with someone new, am I going too fast?This. Be on the lookout for red flags. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/24 02:00 PM |
| 5 | How long til the pain fades?What is the deal with the men always blaming themselves for everything? I was guilty of it at the beginning too. But it’s crazy how much power of the women hold in relationships. I’m starting to think that gaslighting is a standard thing for them. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/09/24 07:46 PM |
| 3 | SuicidalGod helped me. Just remember that feelings are temporary and they will pass. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/09/24 08:23 PM |
| 6 | Should I attend daughter's birthday party if ex brings her new boyfriend, or just have a separate one?It’s the analogy of when the plane encounters problems you put your oxygen mask on first, so you can not pass out then help your kid put on theirs. You have to take care of yourself in order to be any good to your kids. It doesn’t mean you can’t put your kids first in some ways. In some ways you absolutely should. But there’s no need to torture yourself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/09/24 06:43 PM |
| 3 | How do i navigate through this life dilemma?Pushing for marriage is a huge red flag. She has a plan which may or may not include you in the future. Spoiler: it doesn’t include you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/09/24 08:19 PM |
| 2 | Getting back with ex wife after a dirvorceBAD IDEA unless God is involved at BOTH ENDS. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/09/24 05:02 PM |
| 10 | Why do I do this?She also had responsibility for the failure of the marriage. You were just likely so gaslit during the marriage you actually believed everything was your fault. Pro tip, some of it was. But not all of it. She’s probably still gaslighting you and you’re falling for it and that’s why you’re doing this goofy stuff. Just think about the fact that you’re going over to her place to repair stuff for her and she’s looking for other dudes. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/09/24 12:24 PM |
| 3 | Don't ever take a cheater back!Mine didn’t even cheat, and I would not take her back unless God himself specifically told me to. And I firmly believe he would not tell me to do such a thing unless she changed 180°. I don’t ever see happening as she can’t even admit she did anything wrong in the marriage. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/09/24 12:20 PM |
| 9 | "Happier After Divorce"A lot of people say the person you knew no longer exists. What’s actually true is the person you thought you knew never existed in the first place. The only way to get through this is to properly grieve the death of the person you thought existed. All of this happened and it cannot be reversed. But you are still here for a reason. You have to put in the work in order to get better. Sitting around moping is not going to fix it. Trust me, I was there for a time. I was grieving so heavily I didn’t … | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/09/24 12:17 PM |
| 3 | I didn’t want the divorce even though she was abusiveI spent most of my life as a Christian but God showed me who I actually was. I was the very definition of having a “ form of godliness, but denying its power”. It meant that I was not living by the power of the Holy Spirit. I basically had tried to maintain control instead of submitting to his authority. He showed me that all of my trying to live as a good Christian was meaningless when I did it under my own power. Subsequently, I found out that allowing him to live the life of Jesus Christ thro… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/08/24 07:26 PM |
| 7 | I didn’t want the divorce even though she was abusiveI’ve come to the conclusion that there are a lot of people that are not capable of expressing love or accepting it. To me, this partially an effect of the spiritual condition, but it does exist nonetheless. It is true that, by and large, men love differently than women, but there are also many other factors that go into making up a person. I had a very similar wife whom now I am almost divorced from. You absolutely cannot change another person. You cannot control how that person behaves with fee… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/08/24 02:25 PM |
| 11 | Anger, resentments, regretsProbably never going to happen. Mine still thinks everything was my fault. She always did and likely always will. There’s no being rational with an irrational person. Accept things as they are. You are fortunate to get away from that woman. Learn to live a happy life in spite of this. You are tougher than you know. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/08/24 11:32 AM |
| 1 | Loneliness/ Dating appsYes. And that’s another huge concern is if I have a companion again, I would want someone that would be loving towards my children. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/08/24 07:59 PM |
| 1 | Loneliness/ Dating appsYes. And that’s another huge concern is if I have a companion again, I would want someone that would be loving towards my children. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/08/24 07:59 PM |
| 5 | Divorcing Philosophy - Some say Save Me! and whyPrenup. Right now I can’t see me not getting one. If a chick is against it then goodbye. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/08/24 04:02 PM |
| 6 | I still get moments of rageI’m still working through things myself to some degree. But I can tell you that you’ve got to let go of the rage. It does absolutely no good to harbor it. That being said, it doesn’t mean that you have to be friends with her either. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/08/24 06:40 PM |
| 6 | Letting goYou can’t control how another person behaves or feels. Not everybody is as loyal as you are. Shortly after my wife left, I was deeply grieved. I kept thinking about all the things I did wrong during the marriage. She gaslit me so much about everything being my fault that’s what happened when she left. But once you’re extricated from a bad situation time (and God in my case) has a way of showing you the reality that you wouldn’t acknowledge. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/08/24 05:13 PM |
| 5 | Today’s my bday.“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can GET HIT and KEEP MOVING FORWARD. How much you can take and KEEP MOVING FORWARD. That’s how winning is done!” Rocky Balboa | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/08/24 07:59 PM |
| 5 | What to doSorry to tell you. But she’s probably only saying she wants to work things out to push things out until her actual plan of next spring. I can’t say this with certainty. But you’ve likely been held hostage for so long it’s probably difficult to think clearly. If it’s possible, she really wants to work it out and both of you are willing to put the work in then maybe it’s worth trying. Yes, you need to wait quite some time before you’re ready to get into another relationship. Otherwise, whoever you… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/08/24 06:51 PM |
| 3 | Due to a sense of duty, some husbands are the guards of their own prison.I learned something I never thought was possible. You see, after my wife left me God changed my heart and did a lot of things in my life. Obviously, I expected him to do the same for her so we would reconcile. But she has a hard heart and wants nothing to do with it. She clearly doesn’t believe she did any wrong to lead to the demise of the marriage. Near the beginning of this process, somebody told me that God has a plan for you and if that other person cannot follow he will cut them out of you… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/08/24 02:22 PM |
| 3 | Need advice as I find it extremely difficult to ask my wife for divorceHave you attempted to explain all of this to her as you have to us? I was in a marriage somewhat similar, where she decided to leave Both of us were miserable, but I was willing to hang in there for the sake of the kids. Difference here being that I don’t believe soon to be ex-wife ever actually loved me or even really told me that sincerely. Also, she did not know how to clean or was just too lazy and focused all of her time on activities with her friends instead of with me. The further I get a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/08/24 03:26 PM |
| 2 | Proud of my transformationThis is probably the most shameless plug for coaching I’ve ever seen. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/08/24 08:12 PM |
| 8 | Admitted to Narc ex wife I still love herIt’s pathetic really. I did it too at the beginning. This person USED you. This person NEVER loved you. Why keep stroking their ego while they are getting run through by other men? You need to ACCEPT who she really was. Not the construct of her you made up in your head. You are tougher than you think. Drop her and live your own life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/08/24 10:54 PM |
| 3 | Time to acknowledge who she really wasWell, you didn’t know her. Seeing that behavior from her just made me realize that she is doing the same shit to my parents that she did to me for 18 years. It was all about her all the time. I had already accepted the end of the relationship. Just seeing my parents treated like that was a nice clarification and reminder of who she really is. I’ll forgive her eventually. But it does help me when she reminds me of her self centered ways. I changed, she didn’t. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/08/24 03:29 PM |
| 7 | How do I deal with the guilt of leaving my wife who is vulnerable because of a single mistake.All you’ve done is make excuses for her during that entire post. She knew what the rules were and she broke them. However, I also do believe in forgiveness. The problem is, can you trust her going forward and it doesn’t look like you can. Is she even repentant for what she did? Will you ever actually be able to forgive her? | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/08/24 10:49 AM |
| 2 | Loneliness/ Dating appsAs I mentioned, I’m not on dating sites yet. I don’t believe in sex outside of marriage. I would like female companionship, and eventually one day to have sex again. But it all depends on what God is for my life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/08/24 09:33 PM |
| 1 | Got ghosted by fiancéeThis | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/08/24 10:34 PM |
| 2 | The fog of separation/ divorceI completely understand. I absolutely desire companionship, but in current year, it’s difficult to know if there are women out there that would actually be seeking a give-and-take relationship. When you’ve been betrayed, it’s difficult to ever see trusting another person like that again. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/08/24 10:03 PM |
| 5 | Rant, cry for helpYou have rights. One of those rights is to spend time with your children. She is setting things up so that everything looks favored towards her when everything is battled out in court. You absolutely must get your shit together for the sake of your children and become the person that you can be. A person that’s not dragged down by the terrible relationship you were in. You may not want to admit it, but the relationship you were in with her was toxic. Maybe on both sides, but she also has respons… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/08/24 02:20 PM |
| 18 | To the newcomers here, listen to this closely.I would like to add that “you can’t control how another person behaves or feels”. Many of us were gaslit for many years which can be part of the reluctance to let go of a relationship that was toxic all around. Let her go. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/08/24 03:01 PM |
| 20 | Am I the only one that finds it hard to trust women with my feelings ever again?I don’t know if I will ever trust again. I’m not trying to throw the baby out with the bath water but spending time here will get you red pilled quickly on relationship dynamics and the differences between men and women. Women don’t love the same as men. To say otherwise is suspension of reality. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/08/24 02:07 PM |
| 4 | Does anyone else feel ashamed?A lot of the time women will actually do things to make the relationship worse or to trigger you into some kind of reaction to justify them leaving. I can’t remember what it’s called, but maybe somebody else can chime in. The more you get away from the toxic relationship, the more you’ll start to remember things she did. That happened to me as well. I am now convinced that there was a particular night where my stbxw set me up to get a reaction out of me. Not to say that my behavior wasn’t my fau… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/08/24 07:20 PM |
| 9 | Does anyone else feel ashamed?You were gaslit for so long you still don’t realize that everything was not your fault. Narcissist women have a way of putting all responsibility on you, including their own feelings. She doesn’t deserve you, she never did. Cut her loose. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/08/24 06:36 PM |
| 6 | Wife wants a Divorce While I am Deployed.I’m a veteran, but I did not go through a divorce while I was in. But I’ve known plenty of dudes go through this shit. The fact that she waited until you were deployed means nothing good most likely. I’m not saying postpartum depression isn’t real…. But at the same time, it’s probably likely it’s more deliberate because of another reason. Remember, most women do not love unconditionally. You have to be constantly doing something for them in order for them to reciprocate. It’s an unfortunate fact… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/08/24 04:51 PM |
| 11 | What are some of the most important lessons you've learned from your divorce that you wish you could share with younger men facing similar situations?If you are the one that was left, you need to immediately stop concerning yourself with her. From now on, she made her bed. This is her decision. Because you’re a man you are going to want to help her. That’s not your job anymore. If you have kids, always do right by them. But the stbxw many times will want to have their cake and eat it too. Not be married to you, but still expect you to do things a husband would. You are going to learn to have to say no to her. She was probably accustomed to yo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/08/24 04:48 PM |
| 8 | Please leave your best advice here for any fellow divorced man who may need it the most!If you got left, it wasn’t all your fault, no matter what she told you. You can’t control another how another person behaves or feels. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/07/24 10:29 PM |
| 12 | Officially divorced…All I did at first was beg God for reconciliation. Now I just really want nothing to do with her and want the divorce to be over with. The further you get from a toxic situation, the more you’re able to see the forest instead of just the trees. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/24 08:01 PM |
| 6 | AITA? Or rather, the 'creepy stalker'You are being gaslit. Just like you were all those years before now. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/07/24 05:47 PM |
| 2 | Did it feel like your S.O. "flipped a switch"?Listen to me. When my stbxw left, I was a wreck. I had an encounter with God and all I could do is grieve over the lost chance of making things right. I was in the shower one day and God came along side of me in my grief and showed me things. God showed me that everything was not my fault and that she had responsibility for the failure of the marriage too. She doesn’t think so, but it doesn’t matter It’s the truth and I would wager that you’re beating the hell out of yourself when it’s not all o… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/24 06:12 PM |
| 7 | Struggling with STBXW’s glow-upI empathize with you because for the first couple months after my stbxw left I was devastated. I was easily 100 pounds overweight. After she left, I just did a deep dive into more food and porn. Praise God that he got a hold of me and over the last year I’ve lost all of that weight. My cousin told me this a long time ago. You have to do the things you’re supposed to do even when you don’t feel like it. You will make yourself go to the gym and you will do it regularly even if it’s just a couple t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/24 06:05 PM |
| 1 | When did you call it quits?I wouldn’t have never been the one to initiate things. I’m just not cut that way . But the further I get away from that toxic relationship and person more I realize how much of a gift it was. I will always hate it for how her decision affected the kids, but I’ve been given a second chance. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/24 12:45 PM |
| 1 | I was naive, I was stupid.I’m sorry for your particular situation. I don’t have a lot of advice, but I want to just tell you that I empathize with what you’re going through and hang in there because you will get through it eventually. Don’t give up. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/24 12:40 PM |
| 2 | 644 Days Later & It's Finally Done!Great post. I don’t feel like my divorce is as contentious….so far. But it has been over a year since we separated. At first, all I could think of was reconciliation. Now I want nothing to do with her. You couldn’t pay me to consider getting back with her. She made her intentions clear from the beginning and hasn’t budged. I’m beyond ready for things to be done. I’m finally starting to understand what God has been telling me. He closed that door and he has something else for me in mind. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/24 12:06 PM |
| 2 | Did it feel like your S.O. "flipped a switch"?People will always let you down. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/07/24 10:31 AM |
| 11 | Nothing in this life is sacredYou are a person with normal human emotions. She is not. A person like you has the ability to be happy. A person like her likely never will be. If you could only see your own potential. You have the ability to not only weather this, but come out on the other side stronger. That is the only way you win this. You have to accept things as they are not as how you wanted them to be. You are tougher than you think. Start being the man that God intends you to be. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/07/24 02:48 PM |
| 13 | Did it feel like your S.O. "flipped a switch"?The person you thought you knew actually never existed. The person you thought you knew was a construct you made up in your own head based on how you felt. You assumed just because you were a loyal person and willing to fight for things that the other person was the same. If you look back in the past, I’m sure they’re all kinds of red flags that you ignored. All of us did it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/07/24 02:21 PM |
| 2 | Litmus test/Phil CollinsWe never had a great marriage, but there wasn’t any physical or verbal abuse. She just decided she didn’t want to work on it and didn’t wanna be married anymore. She convinced herself that all of the problems in our marriage were my fault. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/07/24 05:30 PM |
| 3 | Sins of AdmissionI could have written much of this. But I still didn’t pull the trigger. She left and filed. I was willing to die in a miserable marriage to an awful, self centered, loveless person. Loveless at least to me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/07/24 04:15 PM |
| 8 | Going through a divorce, ex hasn't talked to me at all in the last 30 days, although I hear that is more common. It's made everything harder but Im working thru it.When everything first happens, it’s difficult to put things in perspective. If she made the decision to leave and wants nothing to do with reconciliation, then you should probably move on. I don’t know the specifics of your situation, but I can tell you that after about a year of being separated and finally having a Birdseye view of the marriage, outside of logistics for the kids, I want nothing to do with my stbxw ever again. I did a lot of wrong in the marriage, but so did she, but the differe… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/07/24 04:13 AM |
| 2 | Now I know how Linus from Charlie Brown feelsYeah, I still have things that trigger memories and make me sad, but I’m not nearly as grieved as I was. You’re gonna have to go through some shit, but you will make it out on the other side. If you’re not going to the gym, get there. If you have a faith, dive into it. Work on taking care of yourself and don’t worry for a minute what she’s doing. Remember that this is the choice that she made. Every person on this planet has to live with the consequences of the choices that they make. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/07/24 03:57 PM |
| 3 | I am beginning to view her as she really is.It definitely takes some time to see the totality of it all. My stbxw had me gaslit for so many years that all I could do was blame myself. Believe it or not I believe it was God that showed me that it was not all my fault. He brought things to my memory that happened during the marriage that should’ve been indicators to me that she didn’t love me. That marriage that I was in was actually miserable. And I would’ve stayed in it until the day I died out of loyalty and being true to the vows I took… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/07/24 02:47 PM |
| 5 | Too much ADVICEEverybody interprets a divorce through the lens of their own experience. But not all divorces are the same. These people give you advice and say things like that because a lot of times they just don’t know what to say. They want to be helpful because they care about you, but they don’t know how. You need to extend grace in these situations. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/07/24 11:09 AM |
| 1 | Ever wish she cheated?I’m sure mine thinks bullshit like that too. She won’t really talk about the relationship. Just threatens lawyers. But it doesn’t matter at this point. Being away from her is a gift. It doesn’t seem like that at the beginning, but you get there eventually. Just better yourself and if you believe in Gpd know he has a plan for you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/07/24 01:49 AM |
| 11 | The Divorce TemplateAbsolutely on the last 2 except for the new man. She doesn’t have anyone. She is too self centered for that and can’t show affection to a romantic partner. But absolutely it being all about her and me being better off. I lost over 100 lbs and am in decent shape. Financially, I’ll get there once the divorce is final. I honestly hope she doesn’t ever try to reconcile. God himself would have to tell me directly to do it. Even though it’s all I prayed for at the outset. I want nothing to do with her… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/24 02:40 PM |
| 6 | Do you wish her happy birthday?I did the first year. I don’t now why. Probably won’t this year. She broke my heart and acts like we should friends. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/24 02:28 PM |
| 1 | Ever wish she cheated?I imagine the cheating is absolutely terrible to deal with. I was just wondering if it would be easier for me and what I’m going through to be able to write her off. In my case, I lived with a woman that just didn’t have any kind of emotional capacity to love a romantic partner. Then again she is severely mentally ill. So I guess there’s that. There were red flags everywhere when we met but I chose to ignore them. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/07/24 08:43 PM |
| 3 | Ever wish she cheated?My stbxw gave my mom the classic “I love him but I’m not in love with him.” line. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/07/24 04:32 PM |
| 1 | Did you date during your divorce? How did it go?I’m still in the divorce process and I have no plans on dating during it. After a year, I can tell you that I’m ready for this divorce to be over with though. It’s not a divorce I wanted, but it’s something that she’s pushing and won’t relent with so I’m just ready for it to be finalized. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/07/24 03:12 PM |
| 1 | Just looking for inputIt’s possible that she didn’t go to counseling to try to work things out. She was hoping they would fix you because she believes that there’s nothing wrong with her. I’m beginning to think that that’s how it always is. At some point, you just have to let them go, man. There is nothing that you can do or say that’s going to change their mind once they flip the switch. And if you’re honest with yourself, eventually, you will see that you probably don’t want to change your mind. You have the potent… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/07/24 02:32 PM |
| 6 | Triggers (rant)Yeah. My trust in women feels like it has been completely destroyed. I know mine was technically “crazy” because she had a mental breakdown at one point and is very medicated for It. But reading a lot of the posts on here makes me believe it’s almost common for a lot of women to have these weird ass issues. I want to be wrong, but I just can’t trust again. At least not now. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/24 11:32 AM |
| 2 | Why does it still bother me?Yeah. For most of the marriage we were roommates…but I did love her. I’m CERTAIN she never loved me. Not at any point. I’m not even sure she is capable of it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/24 04:16 PM |
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