Ever wish she cheated?

NorthBoy_9012 · 2024-07-15T22:17:29+00:00

You have to man up, and be the one who makes the moves. You don’t her to release yourself from your situation - YOU need to do it. Life it not convenient. If you are a good person inside, kind to your kids, true - you can let a hot pan drop, before it burns you.

Acceptable_Meat3824 · 2024-07-14T20:19:08+00:00

A better questions would be, would you like to know if she cheated, in my case I had my suspicions, but didn't know for sure. Any ways cheating or not, it's aways fucked up, a death of a society, colapse of morals and a mans life changed for every and not aways for the better.

jakochis1 · 2024-07-13T22:26:33+00:00

Wondering if your walkway wife has the same attitude as mine...

When I brought up how stabbed in the back I felt by her decision to just end our 17 year relationship with three young kids together just three weeks after moving into the our (her?) dream home that we had built, her response was, "Well, this could have been way worse. At least I'm not cheating on you." As if that gives her the moral high ground.

Sthompson1965 · 2024-07-12T23:47:59+00:00

The pain of betrayal, is Excruciatingly painful, I don’t wish it on any man here. Married 27 years

ResidentExpert2 · 2024-07-12T10:54:01+00:00

100% no. I understand your pain is very real, it is hard for you to accept the loss. But especially if there are kids involved, just leaving ACTUALLY shows some care for you and your emotions (I know that sounds stupid to your right now). Having the integrity to walk away is FAR better than becoming a lying cheating mess.

Chatting doesn't make it easier, all it does is increase the anger, and make everything else harder to process.

What they don't tell you about cheating is that it's not just the trust in her you lose. You lose trust in yourself, trust in your memories, trust in your judgement, trust in your ability as a man.

Either way, your marriage was probably shit and you didn't see the signs. But with cheating, she rips out your heart first, stomps it in the ground, grinds it under my her heel as she walks away. You are left wondering how you couldn't see the signs before, how you didn't see the marriage was that bad. Now you start thinking, how long ago are your happy memories really happy, and how long ago are they fake? Was this really the only time, or is that more lies? How could you have misjudged someone you thought you knew so well so badly? How can you ever trust anyone to get close to you again?

And then there are the nightmares and the dreams. Constant. Even 15 months out.

And then there's the intrusive thoughts and the reminders, and the places you can't even drive past without it popping into your head "she fucked him right there". Songs make you angry. Cheating in movies makes your skin crawl. I can't look at fucking tinted car windows without getting a reminder.

No my man. Your pain is very very very real, but cheating does not make it easier AT ALL. You may be able to have a friendship or a relationship again sometime down the line. But with a cheater, that's going to be nearly impossible which makes co parenting so incredibly difficult.

I spent my entire adult life with one woman. I now cannot wait to never see her face again. While letting go would be hard regardless, the negativity that cheating creates is not worth it. 0 out of 5 stars, would not recommend.

UglyDude1987 · 2024-07-11T23:40:04+00:00

Usually if they all the sudden decided they didn't want to be married with you anymore it's because they already have their eyes on someone else.

My wife very abruptly got up and left and declared her intent of divorce. Come to find out, she had been having an affair the entire time.

HowdyHup · 2024-07-11T23:23:46+00:00

My wife pulled the walkaway wife thing on me on Father's Day. The day before, everything seemed normal and happy, then Bam! Out of the blue, she is just cold and indifferent, moved into the spare bedroom. Now just stuck in this limbo, not really knowing what the hell to do, or what is coming next. She seems to be dealing with it fine, while I've been a blubbering mess, and trying to stay strong for our 2 teenage kids. I do kinda wish she had done something for me to have a reason to be mad at her. But then again, this is already hell, and if it was something like her cheating that instigated this, I almost think that would be just as bad or worse... I'm lonely enough as it is right now, I don't think I could stand it if she was with another person while I am feeling this way.

HeftyAfternoon3132 · 2024-07-11T22:35:21+00:00

Lmao. Hell yea I do.!! I wish she cheated. Got pregnant by another guy. Anything but continue to expose me to an insufferable insatiable shrew. Lmao. 🤷‍♂️

fffrdcrrf · 2024-07-11T22:05:10+00:00

I dont want to catch her in the act or anything but knowing she’s started another relationship with another man is whats giving me the motivation to move on

AttemptScary4550 · 2024-07-11T21:12:28+00:00

Cheating didn't make it easier. She cheated with a kid and so it seemed like she could come to her senses. If there had been no cheating it would have been hard as well. The cheating with someone more than 20 years younger helped me identify the insanity of it all once I accepted divorce as the ultimate path forward.

Camping_Dad_RC · 2024-07-11T20:36:33+00:00

I know this question was addressed to other men, but I can practically assure you there is nothing easier about being betrayed. I was married to a serial cheater that stayed. I’d much rather she have just left. Wasting years of my life on someone so duplicitous is like having your life stolen. There isn’t anymore closure in my case. Just the realization I never knew my wife and she’s and absolutely horrible person.

captainchippsixx · 2024-07-11T20:11:19+00:00

You’re taking out very rare occurrences. Majority of women do cheat in one form or another! A lot women only leave when they have another guy ready to go or started with already.

Many men don’t see the signs and are shocked when she walks. They don’t listen to their gut, don’t ask questions, and don’t look into things more closely. Instead they are Trying to grind out a living and provide.

Mine was fucking by the textbook. Say they are not happy. It’s all My fault. She became Detached. Coming home later than usual. All the signs were there, but I was young and stupid.

The shit starts when they start the emotional part. They project all the problems onto you, to disassociate from their betrayal and actions. Then they tell them selves a new story to continue to move forward and that they are getting out of a bad situation.

Then she moves out. Oh yeah and she slept the guy. I would have never known if she hadn’t told me. Most women don’t say anything unless caught.

Oh. And when the other guy who is a douche bag dumps her or she realizes he just wanted the introductory free kitty offer, she comes back. I failed there too, many moons ago.

Anytime your gf or wife says open relationship. You should walk away immediately.

xeskind30 · 2024-07-11T19:40:22+00:00

Mine suggested an open relationship, she said it in the voice she uses when she is joking; I know the difference in pitch.

After the divorce, I found out from my daughter my ex had "dated" the guy she kept mentioning at her work place and wanted to hang out with after. I don't know if they planned an affair, but this came about when we were nearing the end of our marriage.

I figure if she didn't sleep with him during our marriage, she definitely would have after.

BatteredAndBedamned · 2024-07-11T19:21:42+00:00

All the time.

I wish she cheated years ago so I would have called it quits much earlier

nfca12 · 2024-07-11T18:53:22+00:00

Yes. I was the one who ended our marriage and while everyone who knew me well ultimately respected my decision there was a certain amount of side-eye directed to me for leaving someone who seemed like a very good partner. If my ex-wife had cheated on me it would have been more straightforward.

Heavy_Guitar_4848 · 2024-07-11T18:52:33+00:00

I’d say cheating gives extreme motivation in the beginning but wears off eventually. The anger kind of pushes the processing part down the road a bit.

mrk177 · 2024-07-11T16:46:38+00:00

Ex-Wife wanted divorce and said she didn’t want to work on our marriage anymore. That was enough for me to hear to accept her decision. I didn’t fight for her or convince her to stay. I struggled with the reason for a while since that really wasn’t given. Over time I learned to accept the fact she was miserable and would have made me miserable as a result. In my opinion some people have more integrity to ask for an out rather than create an out like cheating. For me personally I am glad she asked for the out before she cheated that would have been way worse on all levels.

Miserable_Ad_1172 · 2024-07-11T16:28:23+00:00

My wife left with what I believe was post natal depression or serious mental health issues. No infidelity on either side. She wanted me to change, I did, and she still wasn’t interested. “The switch went off” her words.

Reflog1791 · 2024-07-11T16:14:24+00:00

In the long run you’ll realize being alone or being with anyone else in the world is better than being with someone who doesn’t want to be married to you.

CulturedGentleman921 · 2024-07-11T15:31:52+00:00

Nah man getting cheated on is emasculating and brutal.

Imagine getting kicked out of your home with her moving the dude in the next day. He's sleeping in your bed, sitting in your chair, watching your TV, and fucking your wife. And YOU'RE funding the whole thing with spousal support and child support payments

Nah man, I'm sure there are guys here that envy your situation.

Title	Ever wish she cheated?
Author	DudeforRighteousness
Upvotes	20
Comments	48
Date	July 11, 2024 1:36 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1e0p4ho/ever_wish_she_cheated/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/ever-wish-she-cheated.1523957 https://theredarchive.com/post/1523957

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