Divorced more than once a red flag?

Venum-X7 · 2025-04-30T09:43:09+00:00

My brotha! I say that and hold your hands. This is not a red flag! That’s a red lights and sirens 🚨 just like a fucking ambulance. You should be running like last year.

Venum-X7 · 2025-04-26T00:45:10+00:00

Fuck around and find out

flyingovertheclouds · 2025-04-25T18:49:49+00:00

Past two were abusive and narcissists! Next one will be the soulmate!

LaraCroft2014 · 2025-04-25T17:41:43+00:00

This question popped up as a notification on my phone so I would like to give my two cents. I'm actually a woman going into her second divorce. I'm initiating. First one was physically abusive once we had a child. The first marriage was 4.5 years. This one so far has been 4 however we separated at year 3 because of his ultra rare mental health condition. Plus some things were just feeling wrong. I don't know if I posted my issues on this account but check my history if you'd like more info.

It's definitely a me problem. Not that I'm not committed, I want nothing more than to have a partner for life, someone I can trust and have fun with forever. However, due to my own past issues, I go for what I feel safe with. My therapist said I go for familiarity and I think that is safe because it feels like home. But the twist is - home wasn't safe for me growing up.

I'm 33 and would love a family and a good man who isn't abusive. But it's my own choices which I hadn't realised that left me picking men who are not good for me.

I hope this helps, and gives a new perspective. Always look at the woman's actions with you, her family, especially her brothers, and parents. Look at her friends, what type of people she's around. This will tell you more than a tag of being divorced twice. If she has healthy and respectful relationships, you should be okay.

Best of luck !

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2025-04-25T13:21:41+00:00

I was talking to a girl and when she mentioned she'd been married twice, both times for 7 years, I immediately broke contact.

everybodyluvzwaymond · 2025-04-25T11:48:02+00:00

Yes, Women push for marriage and then initiate 70% of divorces. It’s not a winning strategy.

SteveSan82 · 2025-04-25T04:21:24+00:00

Even 1 divorce is a red flag. Stay away from divorced women. They will destroy your life just like thru dud their ex

prettycode · 2025-04-25T01:08:46+00:00

Saw a post recently where someone said 40% of first marriages end in divorce, 60% of second marriages, and 75% of third marriages. No idea if it's true, bu directionally, imagine it's right.

deep66it2 · 2025-04-24T18:25:17+00:00

Yup. Kinda like multiple dead husbands.

crager34 · 2025-04-24T12:57:00+00:00

The older we get, the more likely we are to have a divorce or two. We all have histories!! Good and bad. Only you can be the judge of how red of a flag it is. Be cautiously optimistic.

DBFool2019 · 2025-04-24T17:47:11+00:00

I think it depends upon the circumstances of these divorces. Did she cheat? Was it a dead bedroom?

These things are important.

Brilliant_Ad5830 · 2025-04-24T16:00:32+00:00

Yeah.

Boomhower113 · 2025-04-24T15:59:39+00:00

For marriage? I’d say yes. Red flag. She’s just snake bit for some reason or another.

For dating? Nope. Have at it.

HusbandGettingBetter · 2025-04-24T15:04:21+00:00

“Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action” - Auric Goldfinger from Goldfinger) (novel).

While more than one divorce is not necessarily a red flag, I would be on guard for how her current behavior may have contributed to the divorces.

Perhaps she married two awful men, but perhaps not. Also, she may have grown as a person and learned from her divorces. It's certainly possible.

In any event, I would not immediately run from her, but I would lace up those running shoes nevertheless.

DuePersonality8585 · 2025-04-24T14:41:19+00:00

Yes. Absolutely. On its face it signals lack of commitment and that she’d be willing to leave you. I say this bc of the statistics - statistically speaking she probably initiated both divorces for “irreconcilable differences” or some such faithless nonsense. It could be there is a worthy explanation but the burden is on her to prove it to you.

Pleasant-Mechanic-49 · 2025-04-24T14:26:47+00:00

that is not even an opinion, each divorce increase risk of being divorce again.

No-Marsupial1823 · 2025-04-24T14:22:38+00:00

Admirable-Sir-7311 · 2025-04-24T13:57:09+00:00

What?!?! Why would that be a red flag?

A 30-40 year old woman can be past married twice, but at least she can probably count on one hand how many lovers shes had?

How’s it any different than a serial dater or someone who’s had 3-4 long term (unwed) partners?

Oh…but if she’s been mostly single over the years, then that’s a Red Flag, too, am I right?

Literally NO ONE, man or woman, can win in this kind of society.

upvotersfortruth · 2025-04-24T13:22:30+00:00

Once is a tragedy. Twice is bad luck. Three or more … it’s a hobby.

soontobesolo · 2025-04-24T12:56:26+00:00

Absolutely. But don't let that stop you from dating her, just don't marry her.

Camille_Toh · 2025-04-24T12:44:33+00:00

I used to think so regarding men who’ve been divorced more than once, but as we all get older, this is not so unusual. Hiding it and /or blaming both ex-partners is weird and shows they haven’t self-reflected.

Longjumping-Cup-4018 · 2025-04-24T12:43:45+00:00

One time maybe ex issue. If two times, it seems like she got an issue. 3 times, she is definitely an issue.

whoisgodiam · 2025-04-24T12:13:45+00:00

Yes. More red flags than a CCP parade.

MiloGoesToPorridge · 2025-04-24T11:44:47+00:00

Not necessarily.

Look at the individual case before you blow it off. The woman I'm seeing has two divorces under her belt (as do I). Hubby number one was an abusive gaslightet who'd routinely rape her. Number two got lifted by the police for historical sex offending of children from his previous relationship. This is a woman who hasn't shown so much of a red flag to me in the six months I've known her, believe me, I was looking for them.

Take each individual case as it comes, would be my two cents.

idkwhyimaloser37 · 2025-04-24T11:41:38+00:00

I Think that flag can go both ways

guy_n_cognito_tu · 2025-04-24T11:29:34+00:00

It means she has no issues with getting divorce. You're not planning on marrying her, are you?

Title	Divorced more than once a red flag?
Author	DudeforRighteousness
Upvotes	29
Comments	54
Date	April 24, 2025 11:22 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1k6pqie/divorced_more_than_once_a_red_flag/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/divorced-more-than-once-a-red-flag.1550479 https://theredarchive.com/post/1550479

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