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View 23 posts and 1,550 comments by soontobesolo on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
151

Getting Startedsoontobesolo/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 03:45 PM
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soontobesolo/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 06:03 PM
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soontobesolo/r/Divorce_Men11/08/23 03:31 PM
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soontobesolo/r/Divorce_Men24/12/22 10:27 PM
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soontobesolo/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 02:35 AM
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soontobesolo/r/Divorce_Men23/10/22 11:22 PM
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soontobesolo/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 03:58 PM
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soontobesolo/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 03:07 PM
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soontobesolo/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 03:57 PM
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soontobesolo/r/Divorce_Men27/11/22 04:31 PM
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soontobesolo/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 11:54 PM
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soontobesolo/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 01:49 PM
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soontobesolo/r/Divorce_Men18/08/22 08:45 PM
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soontobesolo/r/Divorce_Men23/08/22 12:23 AM
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soontobesolo/r/Divorce_Men12/10/23 04:43 PM
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soontobesolo/r/Divorce_Men19/08/22 08:20 PM
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soontobesolo/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 12:39 PM
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soontobesolo/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 03:19 PM
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soontobesolo/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 08:26 PM
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soontobesolo/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 05:07 PM
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soontobesolo/r/Divorce_Men10/12/22 04:55 PM
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soontobesolo/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 02:05 PM
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soontobesolo/r/Divorce_Men09/12/22 07:38 PM
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 1,550 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Don't fucking back off now. She's a violent maniac and a danger to you and your kids. Press charges, and seek full custody (and child support) immediately. Believe be, she'd destroy you in an instant if she had the opportunity. Don't be a doormat. Your relationship is over.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 04:33 PM
4

You are absolutely insane for even considering this. Put her behind you and move on. Be an example for your kids, not a doormat.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 03:09 PM
2

Right here brother. Get ready. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/YjEj1Hiw87
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 03:32 PM
–

Not sure what you mean about power dynamics, but generalization and predictions based on broad evidence and trends is pretty standard in all fields. There are bad actors in all groups but red pill is really about maintaining dignity, frame, and ensuring your value. Calling it abuse is totally unfounded.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 01:11 PM
1

Please elaborate.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 12:52 PM
12

I visited a (legal) massage parlor that openly offered extras, nudity, etc. This was in Europe where it's all legal and above board. I just wanted physical touch I was starved for. Cuddles, caressing, intimacy. Getting off I can take care of, myself. I enjoyed it but nothing replaces true desire. But when my turn was over she said we had some time left and suggested I massage her! That was nice.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 12:22 PM
3

Don't do it. Save that improvement you've done for the gal(s) you'll meet. You'll see. You have an amazing future ahead.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/26 09:30 PM
2

Exactly
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/26 09:29 PM
1

I prefer saving them for when I'd like another match. Too many matches are difficult to juggle. If I see one pop up on my stack that i know has swiped on me, and I'm not ready for a match, I restart the app so I don't swipe her away.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 08:57 PM
3

The most valuable feature of the paid version is to be able to select from those who have already swiped on you. It's a total game changer.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 10:30 PM
10

The best part is that you are now in control of your life and can live it in whatever ways make you happiest. That's huge! And you can be a great dad half the time, and the other half is for you and your pleasure! Divorce fucking rules.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 01:32 AM
3

Lawyer, therapy, and get your ass to the gym. Now. You'll get through though, it'll be ok. But the marriage is over. Prepare and be strategic, stakes are high. And taking control does help your mindset. My best advice https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/UvpZ5jpZQk
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/26 01:00 AM
2

Looks like they were banned from reddit completely!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 10:27 AM
8

Are you referring to me? You have things totally wrong. I have no baggage, I ended the marriage, and I haven't been this happy in a very long time. I'm not bitter at all. I've been having a blast! Projecting much?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 11:06 PM
28

The most important, and effective lessons are: Know your worth. If you aren't that valuable as a dating prospect (or don't think you are), become that valuable. Get a good career and get yourself in shape. Dress better. Make an effort. Never operate from a position of scarcity. There are lots and lots of great women out there. You don't need to put any of them on a pedestal. If she's not showing strong clear interest, move on. Never, ever simp. Pay attention to women's behavior, not what they sa…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 12:14 PM
51

Pure observation, not agenda. Starting to date again after being married for 20 years, I learned about behavior, the nature of relationships, and what works. Its not an ideology. It's a set of observations about human behavior. Recognizing them and applying them to dating is quite effective.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 09:05 AM
5

I never missed her. That's why I broke it off. I took about six months to get my head straight and settle down. Then I went a little hog wild on the apps for a year, so much fun and so many wonderful ladies. Now I've got a steady gal, together two years. It gets better. Get your head straight and get out there.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 10:39 AM
9

She can ask for whatever she wants. You can ask for her entire trust. Plus a pony. Neither of you will get it. If she wants the house, she buys out your half of the equity. Period. It's an asset like all others. Hold fast. You'll be ok. General advice https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/0SGmChAwtw
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 02:34 PM
5

Yes. Mediation is a waste of time, but as court proceeds, hopefully they will settle for something reasonable. But stick to 50/50 custody and don't give up more than 50% of post marital assets.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 01:31 PM
25

Lots of recently divorced men are delighted to finally experience desire from someone. For many of us, it's been years. Sometimes that's easier with hookups. But lots of hookups turn into relationships too.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 01:29 PM
1

I'm not sure about the legal stuff for the UK, but you had better prepare for a fight for custody, child support, and alimony. Hopefully it won't get ugly but you must prepare for the possibility. My general advice: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/LZExsJWdMz You have to put yourself (and kid) first now, and make sure you're setting yourself up for the rest of your life. Talk to a solicitor before you do anything.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 02:22 PM
1

You file an emergency petition with your lawyer to get your kids back and into a safe stable home. That's your first priority. Collect evidence. But listen to your lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/26 10:23 PM
2

Right here brother. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/FW31RLUS5W
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/26 06:04 PM
1

This. It's outright abusive behavior. She's nuts.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 06:17 AM
4

Prepare for it to end. Now. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/HnS30VIhne
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 03:10 PM
2

Fair enough, if that price is acceptable.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 09:18 PM
7

It'll also eliminate most of the good men with options who would rather not wait so long.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 08:30 PM
3

Life is short. If you're unhappy, you need to move on and seek your happiness. My only regret is not leaving earlier. The process sucks but the other side is glorious. General advice: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/26 05:19 PM
1

Good idea. Also builds confidence and helps your frame.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 08:27 PM
3

Will you owe her money later, like next month? Just subtract it?
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 04:51 PM
8

Wow.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 09:05 PM
3

She was treating me and our kid absolutely horribly. Bad temper, totally unreasonable, just really being horrid. Any expressions of my unhappiness were met with contempt. Fuck all that. That was around three years ago. My life is wonderful now! Divorce fucking rules.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 04:47 PM
3

Yes, that's where the self-improvement aspect of TRP has to come in. Do the work to make yourself attractive, and stop simping, and success follows.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 03:54 PM
2

This is absolutely true and is the core and most useful part of TRP philosophy. Once I adopted this mindset my success with women (along all axis) improved dramatically.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 03:53 PM
–

I think you missed the point completely.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 06:58 PM
–

If you happily dated multiple dominatrix before, then suddenly told the latest one you're dating you can't be involved purely because she's a dominatrix, she'd rightly be pretty offended and confused.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 06:56 PM
–

That's not what we advocate. We say that it's appropriate for the man to be disappointed, maybe even offended, if she's not willing to have the sexual experience he wants, that she was willing to have with another. Totally legitimate.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 04:45 PM
–

You do have the right to make a big deal about anything that's important to you. In fact, you have the obligation to do so. That is not the same as coercion.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 04:41 PM
5

No rush, but it's a new opportunity to date and explore relationships of all kinds on your own terms. A fresh slate. A world of possibilities. I had a blast! Don't limit yourself to one person, is the secret. Not for a while anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/26 11:26 AM
6

She probably realizes that you'll get 50/50 custody (YOU HAD BETTER FIGHT FOR IT) and she won't be getting a windfall. So she's trying to keep you around to keep the resources coming. Don't fall for it. Quietly agree, but get a lawyer IMMEDIATELY and start planning for the inevitable divorce. Do it now, and quietly, as you need to be sure she doesn't hose you for custody, child support and alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 05:29 PM
1

Yep, this is basically the whole point of red pill thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 12:19 PM
3

They hired more women and minorities to appease those having temper tantrums.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 08:13 AM
3

Also untrue, unless you mean that they work less, and at safer jobs, or those in less demand.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 01:28 AM
5

My claim was absolutely true. Their specific experience, even if true, is irrelevant when stating stastical trends or overall population behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 01:19 AM
2

Specific anecdotes aren't meaningful when you're talking about trends or statistics. I could also find instances of men being paid less than women, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 11:39 PM
10

If it were true, smart businesses would hire only minority and women and save tons of money.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 10:36 PM
8

The problem is, they use this data to assert that women are being paid less * for the same work as men*. Which is totally false of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 10:19 PM
173

Everyone gets a prenup. It's whether you use the one that's included in a standard legal marriage, or get your own that better suits you. Seems like she's preparing for the marriage to end. If it doesn't, why would she care?
/r/MensRights19/02/26 05:51 PM
3

Not in a million years. My life has improved tremendously. We're both far better off.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 11:28 AM
3

I did fine, as we earned similar amounts.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 07:24 PM
1

Or maybe he just doesn't want to foot the whole bill, again.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 10:34 AM
7

Absolutely. Do it. It was part of my divorce process ritual and an important step. The procedure is no big deal, and you certainly don't want an oopsie, and you DEFINITELY don't want a cute younger gal to trap you into 18+ years of child support. And women are generally delighted they don't have to worry about pregnancy. And you (once tested) get to go bareback! All incredible upsides, and zero downsides. Do it.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 08:46 PM
2

Sorry brother. The process sucks, but if you prepare, you'll come out clean on the other side. You can have your happiness. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/0wYUAgk6oC
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/26 12:15 PM
11

She's gone, man. You'll get through this, but start preparing now. She's shown you exactly what she is. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/z2wcckOQp4
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 12:52 PM
2

Great tips! My collection for some more practical things https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/FO6OdRFAAc
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 12:06 PM
7

I'm more than three years out and am still confident I will never remarry. There's no point, and I'm having a blast.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 04:42 PM
1

If she's refusing to pay as agreed, have your lawyer file for contempt, garnishment, or asset seizure.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 04:17 PM
5

It doesn't help their case. Judges see right through it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 12:49 AM
1

Sex was a part of it, but really it was general affection and affirmation. Like I was valued and that my happiness mattered.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 04:56 PM
2

Exactly. That's precisely what so many of us were deprived of during our marriages, and what we really needed.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 06:58 PM
16

Such a weird question. Is it so surprising that we men, especially freshly divorced, actually want to feel true desire from someone?
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 01:50 PM
7

No.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 03:24 PM
-1

Not my video or channel. There's great advice here that will help a lot of men.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 06:10 PM
2

No one tells me what to think, and I'm as confident as they come. The RP (for me) is a collection of valid observations that helps navigate relationships, not an ideology. And it's telling that you resort to ad hominim. But declaring that nearly all men who work out have body image issues is absolutely nonsensical. Sure, some do, but very few. Most of us want to be healthy, and look better, which, if it's a goal, absolutely helps attract great ladies.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 08:14 AM
1

That's absolute nonsense.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 05:56 AM
5

Yes, that's a good strategy too. Cold approach is dreadful.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 07:08 PM
2

That's not true at all of RP. Many of us embrace the apps as being far more convenient, and for giving us far more choices of great ladies to choose from.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 06:35 PM
3

It's both true and sound, particularly with kids involved.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 05:06 PM
7

No. It's not a rational thing to be concerned with. The odds of half-siblings getting together and having kids is extremely small. Even if they did, birth defect concerns from half-siblings is also very small. Multiply those two very unlikely scenarios, and you get something *extremely* unlikely. This risk is buried far lower on the risk scale than just about anything else the mother will be subjected to during pregnancy, and is thus not worth worrying about.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 04:36 PM
17

Nah, as long as she can be a good parent and can afford kids there's no problem at all. Yes, perhaps two parents are better, but not by much, and there's plenty of leeway in both cases for goodness/badness. Multiple half siblings is irrelevant. Not weird or dangerous, that's your own irrationality.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 03:45 PM
5

Spending $15k (more precisely, a retainer) to force a sale/partition is far better than letting it foreclose.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 11:57 AM
8

Dude you've barely done anything wrong. Stop beating yourself up. She was just looking for reasons to end it. Also she doesn't get to "kick you out". It's your house as much as hers. She should leave if she wants. Now she gets to claim custody. Get ready to fight for it back, or pay. But recognize your relationship is over and it's time to move on.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 02:27 PM
39

Women should absolutely do what they want, develop careers, and enjoy sexual adventures. Some guys will see it as negative, and some will see it as positive or won't care. This isn't something that has a RP canon.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 11:50 AM
1

Awesome, thanks for responding! It's great to hear from an ethical, happy professional SW.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 06:24 PM
3

There's a better chance they aren't.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 06:24 PM
-5

Probably because the question isn't about her, it's about why she would consider it wrong for others.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 06:22 PM
6

This exactly. This is the way to do divorce! Speaking from experience. :) What she does is no longer relevant to you. Focus on your own happiness and that of your kids only.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 06:21 PM
–

Your opinion is without logic, foundation, or any justification whatsoever though.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 10:13 AM
7

https://www.reddit.com/settings/profile "Content and Activity" - "hide all"
/r/MensRights14/10/25 08:02 PM
3

Awesome, man! We're cheering for you!
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 04:45 PM
42

You've already won, many times over. They're just in denial about it.
/r/MensRights14/10/25 03:47 PM
31

Turn off your post/comment visibility in your profile. That cures it.
/r/MensRights14/10/25 03:41 PM
83

Of course they wouldn't allow it. Ridiculous.
/r/MensRights11/10/25 11:06 PM
4

LOL, nice work!
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/25 06:03 PM
-2

Don't beat yourself up. You were already roommates 8 years ago. It's understandable that you'd connect with another and feel the desire you deserve to feel. If she wants a divorce then you're going to get one either way, and it's probably best to split up. But make sure you know what the custody/financial outcome will be.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/25 03:31 PM
3

I can't think of much she could do to alter anything, other than quit her job (usually that's not going to sway a judge). Good to set up cameras around the house, either way.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/25 02:57 PM
2

Do you have kids? That makes a big difference. How does her income compare to yours?
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/25 02:40 PM
6

Nice work! Similar experience here, basically we split kid costs 50/50 and I gave her a modest (but irritating) financial settlement so I kept the house. It was absolute hell getting through it, but there is light ahead for all of us! (And since then I'm much wealthier anyway, so all good!)
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/25 02:27 PM
4

Good preparation is the secret. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/ For me, I had cameras running all over the house for quite a while (for the kids, right?!) so she was used to them. And I didn't worry. So I just had her served with papers at home, and I wasn't there. She was furious and shocked, but soon understood that I had pretty great reasons for ending things and there was no going back. But she didn't do anything extreme, beca…
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 04:30 PM
–

None of this has anything to do with restriction of healthcare or travel or voting per se. It's abortion and gender ideology that's at issue, and you're intentionally conflating them to mislead. Typical. These are also not (necessarily) RP men. (For the record, I and probably most other RP men are pro abortion rights.)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 07:17 PM
–

Yeah, I didn't think you could substantiate your absurd claim.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 05:53 PM
–

Encouraging or celebrating a lifestyle that has brought success and happiness to yourself and others is not a defense mechanism.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 02:13 PM
–

Are you really claiming that RP men are advocating for women to not be allowed to vote, receive healthcare, or travel freely? You're going to need to back that up.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 02:11 PM
–

A better question: what rights and freedoms do women have that RP men are cheering for restriction?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 12:33 PM
–

Often those "rights" and "freedoms" actually are quite unfair to the men complaining. They have no problem with actual equality.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 11:47 AM
17

Staying married is worse.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/25 10:49 AM
2

Yep. Same person I think.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 09:20 PM
3

If she doesn’t have an attorney she's sunk! I hope it stays that way for your hearing. I'd counterclaim falsification and slander, if it were me.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 02:04 PM
0

Yeah some of them do actually.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 03:10 PM
0

Like OP said, this is still compatible with RP viewpoints. It's just that it's *harder* to get a gal unless you're tall/rich/etc. Maybe the blue pill note these exceptions and use it to (incorrectly) invalidate RP viewpoints.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 01:43 PM
3

Keep documenting carefully, and quietly. It could be useful. It doesn't matter what she says, if you have real evidence. Only communicate via text/email so it's documented. This is very common. Other than that, once you get through all this BS it'll just be a business relationship. Other tips: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/25 01:40 PM
1

If she's the breadwinner, even with 50/50 custody you'd almost certainly be receiving substantial child support. If you get more/primary custody, even better. She won't be off the hook. And half of ALL marital assets. Which might be the house. You might be able to exclude her credit card debt from the divorce as well. Her affair will have nothing to do with the legal outcome of the divorce. Whatever you learn, it's just for you, and to help you justify divorce. But you really don't need to justi…
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/25 01:08 PM
8

Yeah generally that's how it works.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 08:38 PM
10

You're no longer attracted to your wife because she's let herself go, got fat and unhealthy, and doesn't want to improve anything. Not only that, but she is HOSTILE to your recommendations that she improve her health. Even after she's given herself a deadly disease. [ It's not lack of exercise (alone), it's really about her eating habits. Diet is 90% or more. fwiw ] You need to divorce ASAP and stop having sex with her immediately and entirely, to ensure you will NOT have any kids together. Thin…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 07:40 PM
6

Don't be a sucker. Talk to a lawyer privately and make sure you understand what you are entitled to. You're "only" expected to cover half of the children expenses? But she makes much more? She's supposed to be paying you child support, homie. And half of all marital assets. She's pretending to be generous while ripping you off.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 06:58 PM
1

Document all of this carefully, with the expectation that a judge will read it and her attorney will try to discredit it. Security cameras at home that you control. Archived elsewhere. If she's on her phone constantly, you can set up logging on a router to document how much of her time is on her phone (when kid is around especially). Not trivial tech wise though. If she's not working you need to argue for imputed income (or get her to work)! Cleaning etc. is irrelevant. What exactly is the negli…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 05:52 PM
3

Right here for tips, brother: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 05:39 PM
–

Yeah this has worked well for me. Make sure the sexual chemistry is strong, before anything else.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 03:08 PM
3

It sure is. It's trivial to find any weird fringe opinion online, and when people pretend it's a common perspective they deserve to be challenged.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 01:54 PM
26

If they process things five times faster, women should require less sleep, not more. Oh, look at the gender that wrote it. LOL.
/r/EverydayMisandry18/09/25 08:47 PM
13

Don't worry about it. They all do that. Let her ask for a pony if she wants. She has no grounds to actually receive full custody. You can counterclaim the same thing if you want. In pretty much every state it will default to 50/50 unless there is very strong evidence of endangering the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 04:51 PM
1

Whether she means to or not, the result is identical. It doesn't matter. Break up and find someone worthy of you. Immediately.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 03:29 PM
2

She sounds horrible. This is a no brainer. Break up and find your happiness. No question.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 03:01 PM
2

Exactly my thought. I knew exactly who posted it before looking. She's baffling.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/25 11:02 PM
9

Disagree. I adore my kid and miss them when we're apart, but I also treasure my own time. And when we're together, they get my full attention and tons of fun. For too many years I saw it as my duty to tough out a bad relationship for the sake of "the family". Fuck that. I have a life to live too.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 06:58 PM
3

Move on. There is no question about this whatsoever.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 01:13 PM
1

Every single one demands preferential treatment. Did you even read the OP?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 05:52 PM
-3

Reread the OP. There are five specific examples of where "feminists" are arguing for preferential treatment of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 05:04 PM
-3

Every single example above demonstrates their need for "supremacy" and "advantage".
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 05:01 PM
0

Of course humans make mistakes and learn from them. That's not what baggage is. You're strawmanning. Baggage is incorrect learning and incorrect application of prior experience that causes them to make more bad decisions. For example, baggage would be from a previous partner cheating, say, and then assuming that all future partners were as likely to cheat, or already accusing their new partner of cheating without any evidence. That's just wrong, and it interferes with their future dating success…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 04:57 PM
-3

Women's baggage is just as often caused by her own poor decisions. And her applying her previous poor decisions to a new situation and a new man unfairly is what we take issue with, and why such baggage is destructive.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 01:56 PM
9

Just divorce. You don't have kids or a mortgage thankfully. You can get out of this scot free.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 07:55 PM
3

How you continue to be allowed to post your man-hating drivel for so long is beyond me. You have no desire to debate in good faith, and you even try to deny what you posted in plain view. There is a requirement to having your mind "open to be changed" which is absolutely not the case.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 02:06 PM
–

It's very telling that the very first thing you complain about is men not being willing to buy you stuff. Edit: Wow. Every single post of hers is man hating. Lol
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 11:36 AM
2

They aren't remotely worth that. The half-half is tremendously unjust in these cases. In the USA, thankfully inheritance is not part of the marital assets.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 01:55 PM
1

You're an idiot if you go pro se. Find a new lawyer, or understand why what you're asking for is irrelevant/foolish.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 01:34 PM
3

Ask your lawyer. But I'd present it as you need to change your job in order to be more available to the kids in a 50/50 custody situation, not as a lower stressor.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 04:11 PM
3

Why are you accepting the valuation of the business as gospel? Book value, perhaps, if anything, is really the only objective way. It's all negotiable. Or let her keep "her" half of it if you want, and just pay yourself properly, as long as you maintain control. Though you might have a great opportunity to grow the business and increase your income substantially.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 02:44 PM
2

A divorce attorney, who you should be talking to already, because you're contemplating divorce. You need to work out a strategy (covering everything). Yes, of course it costs money, because it's worth it. Don't mess about.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 04:30 PM
2

I think it would be incredibly messy if you did it now. And it would require a lot of extra legal fees to untangle it. Just wait! Talk to a lawyer though, maybe there's a mechanism that could work.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 02:15 PM
3

Don't do it. Talk to a lawyer immediately for strategy.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 01:25 PM
9

Oldster like you here, 3 years out. I'm having a fucking blast. Met lots of great women, had lots of fun, and currently have a beautiful gf with a sex drive as high as mine. I've been where you are. It gets better. Keep pushing.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/25 04:12 PM
9

Oh you again. What a horribly cruel attitude towards lonely men. Intimacy and connection go hand in hand. Horniness can be relieved through self-pleasure. Men want connection that includes sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 02:07 PM
5

4k pixels total.
/r/PussyPassDenied14/08/25 05:04 PM
5

https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/Ng8eceVmjT
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/25 08:15 PM
6

Best I can offer is the pinned post on my profile. Lots of good tips I collected. But they all go crazy for a while. Keep good records of everything, and share them with your lawyer for strategy.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/25 06:43 PM
4

No one should judge you for getting your fair share of marital assets. I can't comment on UK law though. Good luck! Fight!
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/25 01:17 PM
0

Travel, party, hang with my girlfriend, go out with friends, or chill at home quietly by myself. It's pretty great to have time to do whatever I want.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 01:12 PM
5

Sounds a lot like this sub tbh. However, I see effectively no reasoning behind their perspectives. Just "marriage bad". I highly doubt it was net negative for most of them. They probably didn't get as much money as they wanted.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/25 12:22 PM
2

You don't have to agree to anything. "No" is a complete sentence. Getting a modification will be difficult for her, and you won't be liable for her legal fees. Still, consult your lawyer about this for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/25 11:50 AM
1

I would never get married again. It's a stupid contract. At best, marry someone that earns and owns similar to you. Because you're deciding to join together all new finances, assets, etc. regardless of who earned them. She'll get half at the end. Make sure it's worth it. Marrying someone young like that is very expensive, as presumably she's not making much.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/25 12:19 PM
4

None of them can really be enforced. Things change. Marriage is a lousy contract.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/25 12:02 PM
5

Nope. Not even a bit. All the shit that went down towards the end of our relationship eliminated any attraction I had. Now it's repulsion. That's why I divorced her. At one time I was bitter that it went that way, but ultimately I'm far happier and better off now. No regrets except waiting as long as I did.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/25 07:40 AM
10

You must. No question. You will be owed alimony in addition to asset division (half of everything EACH of you own). A significant amount, because you gave up your career to take care of the kids. She owes you for this.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/25 08:02 PM
4

All of the financial nonsense will come out in discovery. Once co-mingled she probably can't undo that. Fight hard for what's right for you. My tips: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/ The process sucks but you'll be much better on the other side.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/25 05:43 PM
3

Takes a little longer. 40 or 50 especially.
/r/MensRights17/07/25 12:22 AM
12

I regret waiting as long as I did.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 09:45 AM
1

Absolutely not. Especially if you have kids. You need to maintain your role as guardian, or she'll claim full custody with all that sweet child support $. It's your house as much as hers. The kids are as much yours as hers. Act accordingly. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 03:27 PM
21

Follow the money. It's far more likely that a woman will clean up financially from a divorce, especially if she hasn't been working, and doesn't want to work.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 02:49 PM
1

A single data point has no bearing on a statistical study involving thousands or tens of thousands of data points that illustrate a clear trend. No one said that "women's taste doesn't vary". No one claimed they are a monolith. You made a strawman argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 05:09 PM
1

You have no understanding of statistics.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 04:51 PM
1

Why do you say that?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 04:23 PM
1

Take it up with the OP, I think it was from an OKCupid study. But again, you're blathering about something not relevant to my comment either. A single person's experience has zero relevance to a statistic taken over a large population. Congratulations, you're (maybe) an outlier. But it doesn't matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 04:14 PM
5

Your singular opinion has no bearing whatsoever on that stat. Totally irrelevant.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 01:46 PM
–

They aren't the same, but they are needed in the same ways for just about everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 04:58 PM
–

For mental health, purpose, etc. There are plenty of ways to survive a miserable existence. But it doesn't mean that such conditions are all that are "needed".
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 01:11 AM
4

Strawman. No one is saying that this is about being horny, or that it's life and death. Painting it that way is disingenuous and arguing in bad faith. But love and affection are a clear need for just about everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 07:49 PM
40

I don't think that anyone outside of very fringe views believes that. Though I think that "needing it" can apply to many.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 02:26 PM
1

State laws vary. Ask your lawyer how airtight that is.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 12:38 PM
1

Make absolutely sure she can't modify it later.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 11:32 AM
3

Don't be surprised when that goes way, way up. Check your state standards, usually there are online calculators.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 08:28 PM
5

Nope. She's doing this to minimize your custody, which maximizes her child support. It's a cash grab and would get extremely expensive for you. Get a lawyer yesterday. Also read the pinned post on my profile for good strategies. Good luck! Also, remember, YOU ARE AN EQUAL PARENT. She doesn't get to just declare that the kids now live with her, any more than you do. You need to fight this hard and quickly.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 07:52 PM
1

Right here. Proceed strategically. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/1mg3CdbpXi
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 03:21 PM
15

This. Well said. Same experience here. I'm having a blast.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/25 09:44 AM
5

Stop apologizing for her. If she's not getting him help he needs because she doesn't want to leave the house, what kind of mother is that?
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/25 06:11 PM
2

Let me get this straight. You have a wife who doesn't love you, doesn't show her appreciation for you (if it even exists), doesn't do what's best for your son, and is only staying married because of how YOUR money will benefit her financially. The only thing you have to feel guilty about is waiting this long to drop her. Get your life straight, get therapy, and find your happiness. But be very careful and make sure you can document her neglect of your kid. Read this: https://www.reddit.com/r/Div…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/25 05:43 PM
2

Demonstrate it then. All you've done is dismiss the overwhelmingly similar opinion of men here, and you have shown no interest in having your view changed.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 01:25 PM
4

If you want tracking your calories and macros, you really don't know if you're eating the right amount. Try it. Lift weights and eat at least one gram of protein per pound of body weight. Every day.
/r/TheRedPill25/06/25 12:55 PM
2

Pretty much every man in this thread (and women) disagrees with you, and for good reason. We'd be delighted with all that attention. You have no idea what men think and feel, and when one tells you, you're dismissive. You have no interest in learning.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 08:31 AM
3

It definitely applies. Gay men love the attention from other men, and straight men love the attention from women. You're just flat wrong about this.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 07:45 PM
2

Obviously they are not, quite the opposite! The experience of gay men completely invalidates the OP's point. Personally I'd love the attention (from ladies!)
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 02:30 PM
7

Never rest on what you have. Be thorough and get more evidence.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/25 04:58 PM
8

Another great reason, if you can prove it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/25 04:14 PM
12

Ask your lawyer, but seems like you have good reasons to keep him away from your kids. A judge will probably agree.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/25 04:12 PM
13

Most women don't know squat about single men. Especially their porn habits.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 11:05 PM
0

It works beautifully
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 07:02 PM
-1

It's worked beautifully for me with many women. Done correctly, they melt. But you have to build the sexual tension first. At that point they're ready to jump you anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 05:15 PM
6

What I do: look into their eyes, small smile, "I'd love to kiss you, would you enjoy that?" "I'd love to bring you to bed". "If you aren't ready for X there's plenty of other things we can enjoy together." Stuff like that. Stating what you'd like to do in an alluring way, and asking them not for permission, but if it's something they'd enjoy too. Gently. Works beautifully. They melt (if interested).
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 03:55 PM
14

It's possible to ask for consent in a sexy, alluring way. That's what they missed.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 03:43 PM
6

My thoughts personally, is that it's mostly nonsense with a nugget of truth. I appreciate mature, experienced women as I grow older, and I have an extremely hot, fit, girlfriend who is also over 50 like me. I don't wish for naivete or inexperience at all, just the opposite really. At some point, will I seek out younger gals? Dunno, maybe? I'm just going to wing it and see who I connect with best. If having kids is a priority though, biological realities do put an "expiration date" on women, basi…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 01:16 PM
-5

Most career women I know also want to extract resources from men.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/25 02:11 PM
8

Breathe. Talk to a lawyer, establish custody, and demand child support. You'll be ok. It's a horrible process but at the end you'll be happy.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/25 12:30 AM
10

You'll be ok brother. She made this easy for you. You get full custody, child support, and start preparing for your new life. It will be glorious on the other side. My profile has a pinned post with guidance. Read it. Good luck. It's a tough process but the other side is glorious.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 11:47 PM
1

Gym, especially those with group classes.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 08:15 PM
2

No matter what, the house is split 50/50 and that includes liability. She sounds awful to me, you'll be better off without her. And it will get dramatically better. See the pinned post on my profile for strategy to get you there.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 01:05 PM
0

The red pill size bar has over two dozen links to various places. It's like saying "it's on the internet". Where exactly does it promote treating "women like teenagers".
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 04:20 PM
-4

Point it out exactly where it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 03:53 PM
-2

So when people make up stuff to demean RP folks, we just have to accept what they say then as truth?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 02:54 PM
0

I've read much of it, but not every one of the few dozen links on the subreddit. Have you? Maybe you can point out where it states to treat women like teenagers.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 02:50 PM
-2

Red pill != incel
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 02:27 PM
-12

The RP ideology does not preach to treating adult women like teenagers. You're just making stuff up.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 02:25 PM
2

Nice sexist comment. So far we don't know that he's raping or trafficking women, either.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 02:52 PM
2

First, take a breath. You'll get through this ok. Talk to a lawyer about what your ex might be entitled to, and what you can do to minimize alimony. This is important! You can absolutely get a mortgage at your age. Nothing stopping you at all (assuming you have good credit, etc.)! Of course it won't be paid off (probably) when you die but that's common and expected. No big deal. Your friend is absolutely NOT TOO YOUNG! She's only 12 years younger, and 48! Totally fine, my man. And she seems to l…
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/25 02:35 PM
2

I'm not really a fan of ostracizing people for mere allegations. But I don't know much/care much about them anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 02:31 PM
2

Accused only, once again. Not "literally sex trafficked"
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 02:28 PM
3

So far accused only. Let's keep it grounded.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 02:18 PM
2

I took the red pill when I started dating after my divorce, so I could better understand the true dynamics of it all. Mostly by reading books and forums like this. The pill gives you truth, nothing more. What you do with it is up to you. I'm very happy with how things turned out. I was able to improve myself dramatically over the last few years (physically, mentally, financially, professionally) and really have abandoned a lot of the counterproductive attitudes of my younger days, especially aro…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 02:12 PM
0

Any of the thousands of wealthy-ish suburbs around major cities will have hundreds of women living this lifestyle, easily. They are all over the place, and I know many.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 05:01 PM
0

None of us know if this particular one is real, but there are plenty of real ladies living near me with exactly this lifestyle/attitude.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 04:40 PM
0

Not only is she extremely well compensated, she does very little work, too. A maid TWICE a week? Kids in school all day? She's living life on easy mode and had better appreciate her blessings.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 04:23 PM
1

Dude you're off your rocker. Paying attorneys sucks but the alternative is paying your ex far more.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 09:18 PM
–

The whole point of red pill is to understand and fix these things.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/25 08:32 PM
4

Your marriage was destroying you. Getting rid of it saved you. Don't look back.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 07:06 PM
5

Take a breath. It's very, very difficult, but you can maneuver to reduce the impact on yourself. My general guidance: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/ The only behavior that really matters right now is that which impact the kids. If she's abusive, or otherwise unfit, and you can PROVE it, you can get more custody (and pay less child support). For the moment, cut off her extra spending money. See if you can get her working. But foll…
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 08:03 PM
11

Awesome, congratulations!!!!! You now have the opportunity to structure YOUR life however YOU want it and whatever makes you happiest! Freedom!! You'll see, it's awesome.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 03:07 PM
7

You need to get ahead of this and prepare, legally. You have a lot at stake right now. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 01:30 PM
1

"Material chance in circumstances" changes your CS obligation to $0. At 13, he definitely has a say (but not final say), and then you may end up with >50% custody, which would demand that she pay you CS.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 01:26 PM
8

You need to get ahead of this, desperately. She is building a case and will go after custody. Guaranteed. Lawyer, now, and please read this set of guidance. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/0rnuiNercn
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 02:18 PM
3

This is exactly what she is doing. Get ahead of it and build your case. Now.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 01:13 PM
2

It was a really stupid mistake, but you can ask your lawyer if there are options for fighting it. You weren't directly punished for not having representation. You were just way out of your league trying to navigate this stuff on your own.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 03:16 PM
1

It's much easier if you have full custody to do this. If you had shared custody you'd be paying child support at the very least.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 12:53 PM
2

Accept that this relationship is over, and your job is to now secure YOUR future. Which includes your kids. General advice: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/25 02:21 PM
3

Dude you need to get by all that. You will have a good relationship once all the legal matters are settled. It takes time and it sucks going through it, but hold fast. Don't let her rip you off.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 08:40 PM
2

Your lawyer is giving you excellent advice. Listen to them and don't fold. She's guilting you in order to get a better deal. Don't fall for it. The kids will be MUCH better off when you're better off.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 08:18 PM
7

Well it's time to stand up for yourself as you bid her farewell! She's going to say and do anything to manipulate you into getting her a more favorable deal. And she knows exactly how, since you've been together so long. She is looking out for HER INTEREST, not yours. Whether she is a bad person or not is irrelevant. She is now your LEGAL ADVERSARY. State laws will dictate the standard for asset division. Don't go far from that. AND MAKE SURE YOU HAVE 50/50 CUSTODY AT LEAST!! Hold strong, brothe…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 08:14 PM
16

You didn't fuck up. You held to a fair deal and prevented yourself being screwed. She's mad because she wasn't able to take advantage of you. Let the lawyers handle it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 07:36 PM
36

You should be relieved that you're divorcing someone who believes in all that crap.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 02:07 PM
12

You need to leave her behind and move on. Don't be a fool. Take control of your life.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/25 07:58 PM
6

Why wouldn't it?
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/25 09:58 AM
5

If you can show she's making more money, you'll absolutely prevail. If she's been shown to hide it, she'll suffer in court especially. Keep digging. She probably stashed a lot of cash too. She's also probably dodging taxes with unreported income. If it's enough, hire a forensic accountant.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/25 09:58 AM
9

It was time to move on 10 years ago. About time! Find your happiness!
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/25 09:14 AM
3

Those are two different things. If she agreed to carrying half of the daycare cost, and she doesn't (get documentation of her refusal, records), then she's in breach of the agreement and you'd have an easy argument by covering the cost on your end, and reducing any other CS by the same amount. Separately, you can always bring her back for imputed income under a "material change in circumstances" but you should talk to your lawyer about when to do this. It might be much harder if you don't time i…
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 05:16 PM
3

If she gets a job you can absolutely get a modification. You can also get a modification based on "imputed income" - what she should be able to make. That might dissuade her from working (seems that's already a problem though.) Either withhold the CS or don't pay the daycare more than your share. You can claim that you paid the day care her share directly. (Might not fly in court but you have a good argument. Not much downside.)
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 04:01 PM
2

You did it before, you can do it now. It'll be ok.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 05:25 PM
1

Sure sound like it to me. "I’ve felt emotionally and sexually disconnected from my wife. Young kids, work, money issues have worn me down to a IDGAF attitude. Meanwhile, never feeling wanted or even seen." "She has a history of panic attacks and mental health spirals. If I came clean, I don’t know if she could handle it. Just going through the screaming, the wailing"
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 04:30 PM
8

I compiled this list of tips for those going through it: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/ In general though: * Know your worth. Know you always have options. * Your happiness is important. Don't sacrifice yourself for your wife/family. * It's ok for good sex to be important and a requirement of a relationship. Don't let others shame you for it. * Read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" * Don't actually get married!
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 01:57 PM
2

Document everything possible, talk to a lawyer, and make a legal strategy to take full custody. You can do it. Guidance: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 01:23 PM
5

Absolutely. Excellent point. He should take this opportunity to clean up his act and establish good habits well before pursuing divorce and custody. An excellent incentive for him as well. I think that will work beautifully.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 12:02 PM
1

I'm confident he can end that stuff readily. Especially once after the source of his problems is gone and he's getting therapy. Losing custody is forever. Irreversible.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 11:45 AM
5

Ouch. Frankly I'd definitely not tell her the whole truth. Stick with the causes of your unhappiness, and that you want out. But get therapy first and a good lawyer to develop strategy. You don't want to lose custody or get screwed financially. Read this. Walk carefully and be strategic. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/PbYuVVYLnP
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 08:59 AM
6

It varies wildly, anywhere from a few months to years, depending on how much fighting is going on. Glory happens well after divorce though. You have to land on your feet, get your OWN life straightened out, get over your ex, and THEN you have a shot. That'll take 6 months - 1 year + after divorce itself. So worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/25 02:14 PM
9

Her imputed income will be easy to argue. Don't worry, but get a good lawyer and listen to them.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 08:22 AM
3

You're going to have to evict her, sadly. Get a lawyer and do it. They may also recommend "cash for keys" where you pay her to gtfo. Do it with a good lawyer's guidance.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 01:45 PM
1

Yep, it sucks. There is no more opportunity to friendly settlement, you are now on opposite sides of a tough legal negotiation. Plan and act accordingly: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/25 01:02 PM
4

Dude you should have dumped her long ago. Start preparing now and get it done. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/XrRtzizfu2
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/25 07:51 AM
17

You're just making stuff up now. None of that was what the OP was talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 04:02 PM
16

You're grossly misinterpreting what the OP said. In his scenario, the older man is the one that is naive, and the younger gal is more experienced, and therefore has power over him. But it's still the evil man's fault, huh.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 03:54 PM
13

The OP said no such thing. He said "there is a category of men" that do. Sure, but same goes for gold diggers and baby trappers.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 03:20 PM
17

Because if they marry, or have kids, and it doesn't work out, he's completely fucked.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 03:09 PM
2

Your feelings are valid and this is dangerous for you. You're going to be expected to support her forever if you stay together, and ESPECIALLY if you get married or have kids. If that doesn't work out (unlikely it will these days) then you'll be on the hook for half of your assets, plus tons of alimony, and child support. This cannot be overstated. The financial consequences are SEVERE. BE VERY CAREFUL. This is really, really dangerous for you financially. Current marriage laws vastly disfavor t…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 03:08 PM
14

If there are men that say this, then sure, but those men are far from the norm, and casting men in general like this is wrong and unfair. There are not confessions "all over this thread". It would be the same as if I characterized all younger women as being gold diggers or baby trappers.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 02:55 PM
41

It's unfair and incorrect to characterize men with younger women as "preferring naive and inexperienced girls". These gals (generally) have full agency and are not helpless children.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 02:41 PM
4

Because there's widespread misandry on reddit and similar forums. Of course there are *some* evil men targeting young women, no one is claiming there are none. But it shouldn't be assumed. And there are plenty of young women targeting older men as well for nefarious purposes.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 01:41 PM
15

Absolutely. But don't let that stop you from dating her, just don't marry her.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/25 12:56 PM
2

Yeah go for it.
/r/TheRedPill21/04/25 09:06 PM
–

You didn't even read the paper. It doesn't at all support your statistics.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 10:13 PM
–

I'm not sure "usually" applies either. Though even though lots of these guys could get laid, maybe they'd rather have sex with someone way hotter than they could get for free.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 09:38 PM
–

Basing it on a significant time spent there, knowing people in the industry, and the fact that there's a long history of legit sex work. Half of European sex workers are not homeless, and nor are reasonable working conditions limited to 10%. That's a ridiculous, baseless claim.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 09:36 PM
–

Agreed!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 08:45 PM
–

In much of Europe those negative issues are very much the exception though. Plenty love their work.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 07:26 PM
–

I know many extremely desirable men who dabble in (legal) brothels from time to time. They just want a fun experience, or variety, without all the baggage of pursuing relationships (which they also have). The stigma exists, at least in less progressive places, but it really shouldn't. The sex workers I've met really enjoy their jobs. They are not exploited at all, in fact they're treated rather well. Sure, there are exceptions, buy that happens in any service industry. There is nothing inherentl…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 07:24 PM
2

This is a wonderful post and discussion! My experience was similar after my divorce, but I'm much older. (over 50) I also spun plates for a good year or two, basically had a roster, and continued to build my value as a man. It worked. Really well. Then a lady entered my life that was worth focusing on. She's a 10/10 in all ways. Absolutely stunning, perfect body, fun, and smart. I gracefully ended the other relationships to see where this one would go. I never would have attracted her without my…
/r/TheRedPill18/04/25 05:57 PM
8

Why is that a gotcha? Of course lonely people suffer. They're lonely.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 05:12 PM
3

You have to let her go and move on. She and her lawyer will run you right over, and if you don't prepare, you'll suffer the loss of your kids and your finances. If you do it right though, you'll keep both, AND have a positive future.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/25 01:53 PM
8

Dude you're fine. Ignore that horrible delusional woman. I would have let her testify it was faked and got her busted for perjury. That being said, none of that stuff usually matters in divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/25 11:05 PM
0

How about "nearly all"? I'd say that was more accurate. I was trying to be charitable.
/r/EverydayMisandry09/04/25 05:22 PM
16

You are an excellent position to prepare for divorce. Do it just in case. Make sure you are logging all of her time away from the kids, and your time as sole parent. Defer buying a house for sure. Follow the tips in my pinned post on my profile. Even if you guys get things worked out, you need to prepare just in case. You could easily get full custody here.
/r/askMRP09/04/25 01:04 PM
27

Double standards and sexism against men? Impossible! /s
/r/EverydayMisandry08/04/25 07:32 PM
50

Because (many) women hate it when men don't live for their benefit.
/r/EverydayMisandry08/04/25 07:00 PM
10

It's over. You're far better off without that freeloading, lazy, horrible shrew. But prepare yourself and strategize before dropping the bomb: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/ Most important - make sure she is gainfully employed, and making money. As much as possible. And ensure that you can never be seen as the lesser parent.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 04:51 PM
6

After reading all that, THAT's your takeaway? He's working his ass off to provide, and she's a lazy homebody that's treating him like crap. But yeah, his fault? LOL.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 04:50 PM
1

Take it, and save it. Maybe for the kids' future, and maybe for yours. But at least keep the option to do so.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 01:57 PM
1

Only pay what you are contractually obligated to pay. If she failed to pay a bill that resulted in a fee for you, it's simple enough to deduct it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 04:55 PM
5

If she's violating the terms of your agreement, you are under no obligation to keep shoveling money in. Pay the bills off, and deduct them from what you're giving her. Why is your paycheck going straight to her? You're divorced. You need to fix your agreement.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 04:24 PM
3

Stop giving her carte blanche, and adjust this out of future payments. Since she failed to uphold her end of the deal, she pays the penalty. And you should receive compensation for the credit card bills of hers that she paid down with YOUR money.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 04:19 PM
7

Awfully judgemental for you to declare what other people's needs are. But I'll be charitable and chalk it up to an irrelevant conflation between emotional or physical need.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 03:45 PM
5

You don't consider sex an emotional need for men? You consider that BS?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 03:18 PM
3

It's consistent with someone who thinks sex is a vital part of a relationship. Which it is, for most men, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. That doesn't at all mean it's most important, or the only important thing. You perspective is evidence that you consider it optional. It is not, and you need to understand that.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 02:38 PM
10

Why do you trivialize the importance of sex in a relationship, and claim, without basis, that it is "only" what he is interested in?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 02:32 PM
2

Most women either want (demand) unwavering, unquestionable loyalty and fealty from their men, or they want to get away with paternity fraud. Anything that threatens this will be reacted upon with high drama.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/25 11:11 PM
10

Should have approached both of them when they were making out, and joined in the fun. But you have her number, go ahead and reach out if you want. If the thing with the girl comes up, tell her it was totally hot.
/r/TheRedPill03/04/25 04:37 PM
5

Not remotely immoral. It's immoral to deny fathers the right to know the truth.
/r/MensRights03/04/25 12:55 PM
2

This exactly. There is no replacement for genuine desire.
/r/TheRedPill02/04/25 06:18 PM
1

The pay gap is a false myth. It's been totally debunked. Equal representation in executive and similar jobs is absolutely not a right in any sense. And until feminists also call for equal representation among oil rig workers, janitors, and trash collectors, we know not to take them at face value.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/25 12:26 PM
1

Oh yeah, no problem at all for nearly all of us. It's not that bad at all, and recovery is fast. And such an amazing peace of mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/25 12:10 PM
1

I'm not sure "liking" it would be my choice of words, but I'm very glad I got mine!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/25 09:48 AM
1

Don't worry about inflation for 1-2 years or even 5. Too risky.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 08:34 PM
1

Safer to stash cash or precious metals somewhere if you can. Small lockbox at work? It gets messy having someone else involved, especially if they're asked point-blank about it, under penalty of perjury. Not fair to them really. I think gift cards would also work pretty well, just add one each time you get groceries or whatever. Make sure there are no receipts, and don't use a store discount card (of your own anyway).
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 08:32 PM
1

The best "tricks" are to ensure that she is working and making as much as possible, while you aren't. But be careful with reducing salary, they'll go through old paychecks to see what you "should" make. (Same for her). So you might be a little stuck with the 50% more salary, but it's not THAT bad. Most states have calculators that will predict what you each pay. Then be sure you are at LEAST as active a parent as she is. Log your time, gather evidence (photos at events?). Fight your ass off for …
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 08:27 PM
2

Good! Too many men are unwilling to fight for their kids (or assets), and hire crappy lawyers.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 03:20 PM
-2

This is the most succinct answer possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 01:55 PM
2

Yeah take the loan and take extra for sure. If you have reasonable credit, then yes you can certainly take a loan to buy out your ex's equity. But do this after things are settled. (You can get preapproval lined up). You might even be able to take over the existing mortgage at the (presumably) lower rate.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 01:12 PM
3

If you have kids, you are much better off ensuring child support will be minimized. And alimony. That's going to be far more important than squirreling away your assets.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 01:06 PM
4

You have the right idea, it has to be slow and invisible, i.e. no damning receipts or credit card transactions. Grab an extra gift card at the supermarket perhaps when buying groceries, and if you use cash regularly, stash some away. Buy gold coins with cash or other untraceable means, perhaps. Don't keep receipts. Assume everything, like your cc statements and bank accounts, will be scrutinized by her side. All records are subject to subpoena. If you do it slowly enough you can probably build u…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 01:03 PM
3

They can request whatever they want. They're going to request anything that makes you uncomfortable or defensive, or that's strategically advantageous. You can also request whatever you want, such as a pony in exchange for said records. Neither of you have to comply unless it's subpoenaed. And your lawyer will have a chance to fight it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 12:54 PM
6

You do you, but I don't like this approach at all. Why should getting married or not have anything to do with anything? You're old enough to have whatever kind of relationship you want, and that's right for you. It's not an all or nothing thing. I'm over 50, and once I was ready to start dating I had an absolute blast. So many great ladies to meet. So many wonderful lovers. And many are still friends. Now I have a gal that I absolutely adore and who has a libido almost as high as mine. We're nev…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/25 11:44 AM
9

There are not "videos everywhere". You found garbage fringe stuff, and incorrectly attribute it to RP in order to demean it. Everything you wrote is just wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 02:51 PM
39

r/menkampf
/r/EverydayMisandry24/03/25 03:57 PM
5

Don't let her be the only "super" parent. She's setting herself up for majority custody and child support (or a reduction in what she's paying you). Make sure you are as involved as possible with both kids, and LOG your time spent with the kids (and hers).
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 01:41 PM
9

You'll be ok but you have to prepare. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/9rtlwvfqMG Remember that any marital debt is half hers. Don't let her off the hook. But most importantly right now is to ensure you have at least 50/50 custody. This will be huge. Especially if she's making more than you, she will pay you child support in most states. But you have to play the game. And not get played by her.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 11:43 AM
43

This exactly. Civilization is largely built on men's sexual appetite.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 08:52 PM
2

You call a few lawyers and have a consultation with the ones that you like. Pick one and develop a strategy. General advice: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/ I prepared a financial and kid strategy (easier if you don't have kids) and sprung it on her. Definitely the right way at least for me. I came out fine at the end. There's only downside in telling her now. Don't give her a chance to prepare or manipulate the situation.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 04:52 PM
4

Women aren't nearly as sexual as men, in general. Would you claim they are as hopeful as men for a threesome?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 02:37 PM
8

You need to prepare for your future. Taking action and focus will help you feel much, much better. It'll keep you from wallowing in the past and it'll help you to look forward to what will, eventually, be an excellent life. First, general divorce tips: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/ Follow these strategies, because it's important AND will make you feel better. Get to the gym, especially a social one. Good for the body and soul. R…
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 05:30 PM
-6

They don't say this. Again, if a couple of outliers do, that doesn't represent the rest.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 08:32 PM
38

Finding exceptions or outliers doesn't negate the claim. No one is claiming that every single woman adheres to it. We are working with general trends and overall behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 07:32 PM
1

It also affects child support substantially. For just division of assets, it depends on the time frame of unemployment, compared to the whole relationship. This is also something a postnup can be useful for.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 12:26 PM
8

Your scenario doesn't make sense. During divorce, income is imputed from your last job or what the judge thinks you should make. It's not a direct calculation from current income if there was a recent layoff or whatever. The unequal part comes from sahm or people who don't have much of a career at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 11:31 AM
10

Cameras everywhere, that you control. With audio. Voice recorder or body camera, on always. Not your phone. Make sure you have excellent evidence to protect yourself. And implicate them.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/25 01:37 AM
9

So by not "getting butt hurt" we're just supposed to tolerate a wife becoming a cruel, cold, horrible person? Men can do shit about it by divorcing her. Asking men to tolerate this for any more than a trivial period (to give her an opportunity to fix herself) is absurd.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 08:36 PM
17

Wife turns into a cold, cruel, aromantic prude. Internet: "Men you have to be understanding and patient! It's biological!!" Husband turns into a cold, cruel, aromantic prude. Internet: "He's abusive! Leave him!!" Look, I get it, biology is a thing and things do change over time. But men shouldn't suffer for it unduly if their wives aren't willing to make a serious commitment to fixing it. And often, such treatments are not successful. Then what?
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 08:26 PM
1

Over 50, had excellent success in the apps.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 10:24 AM
1

There is no completely reliable way. But you can take measures to protect yourself. Don't fuck crazy chicks. Should go without saying but... (and it's not always clear) Set up a bunch of little security cameras around your house, with audio. It will give some measure of security against false accusations and make it much more difficult for her to have a case.
/r/MensRights13/03/25 05:51 PM
8

It's pretty easy to use deceptive camera angles, or old pictures, to hide fat. The point is though it's a double standard. A supposedly trivial inherent trait that penalizes men is included, but not one that penalizes women. And fat women can do something about it. Short men can't. So it's even worse.
/r/MensRights12/03/25 04:11 PM
11

So why have height but not weight? The same could be said for height. That's the point, it's a double standard. Pictures are easily deceiving.
/r/MensRights12/03/25 01:49 PM
0

Better/easier birth control is one. But men are also not commodities, you know.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 07:55 PM
1

Have you tried thinking about the many easy options for insemination?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 07:35 PM
2

None of the ick crew are disapproving because they want kids. It's purely a reaction to something slightly different. Shallow to the core. Why do you think it would prevent having kids?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 07:07 PM
1

Nah you just wipe quickly with a tissue! What could be easier? Seems like a real benefit tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 06:14 PM
-2

Seems pretty shallow to me. Especially given the objective benefits.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 05:43 PM
9

I don't think it would at all. I'm surprised by these ladies who consider it a dealbreaker.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 04:31 PM
3

I'd think that it would be attractive for ladies! Easier birth control, and no mess or fuss! (just in a different spot! LOL)
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 04:31 PM
17

Nicely done! Your luck is absolutely not typical though, seems you had an ex wife who just rolled over to GTFO. Most guys are not so lucky.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/25 03:37 PM
5

None of that stuff is relevant at all to the court.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/25 02:46 PM
3

The point is to have the kind of relationship that suits you. Why does marriage have to be a goal?
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 11:53 AM
2

Because they laws are what they are. No fault divorce is the standard.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 11:21 AM
2

Generally it does not matter.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 08:49 AM
13

A lot of women see dollar signs, when they realize how much money they can get from their husbands who have been slaving away their entire careers to support the rest of the family.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 05:23 PM
3

I agree. Marriage, at least in its current form, is very archaic. It makes no sense for modern people.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 05:22 PM
1

If you really think a hookup will help, then go for it. I was never one for hookups, but what really helped me was just dating in general without expectations. Feeling attractive again, understanding that I was worthy, all that was absolutely huge. The sex was secondary and I waited a while for that, took my time. General advice: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 04:41 PM
9

Ultimately you'll stop caring what she says, and you'll be relieved. All of this should make it that much easier to divorce her horrible ass. Go find your happiness.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 02:35 PM
3

Ultimately you'll stop caring what she says, and you'll be relieved. All of this should make it that much easier to divorce her horrible ass. Go find your happiness.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 02:35 PM
1

Worth it. Fight like hell. If she decided to forego work to be a SAHM, that's not your problem and you aren't the one financially responsible for that decision. If there's any justice they'd base it on what she'd make without any childcare consideration.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/25 08:04 PM
1

It takes time. You'll get there! Focus on the good. Get yourself a new lady. When you're ready.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 08:59 PM
2

It took some adjustment but it goes ok. Easier that they're a teenager and don't want to spend a lot of time with me anyway. ;) What's most important is to make the time you have together QUALITY time. I don't feel like we're too deprived, overall, though obviously I wish we were together all the time again. I learned to embrace my real situation and make the most of it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 07:23 PM
7

It absolutely does! I'm a couple years past my divorce and I'm having an absolute blast. 50% time with my kid, and we connect really well. I can be very focused. 50% time for me. I travel, party, and have a hot girlfriend who loves sex as much as I do. I get to live MY LIFE, MY WAY. There is NOTHING more important. Financially irritating at first but it's done.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 02:17 PM
14

There are massive financial incentives for women to divorce, in general. That alone probably dominates everything else. Then add in social media and pressure from friends to "be free" etc., and there is your trend. I initiated my own divorce but did OK, as we earned similar amounts.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 06:55 PM
0

30-50ish
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 08:08 PM
2

50+M, overweight/chubby. I was on the apps for around a year. Met all kinds of people, many of them awesome, many of which I am still friends with. Dated a dozen or two, had various degrees of relationships with many of them. Lots of sex, I had many awesome and beautiful ladies to pick from. Helped me get my game back! Sure, lots of duds too but they don't all work out and shouldn't be expected to. I bought premium and picked from those who swiped on me, mostly. Usually had around 30-50 in the "…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 05:32 PM
2

Waste of money. What she does is none of his business and will have no future impact on divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 12:05 AM
10

You are already separated. What she does on her trip is no longer any of your business. And if she hooks up, it isn't cheating. This is your insecurity. But for god sake don't pay for it like a fool! She can pay her own way. Get yourself an attorney and get moving. You need to let her go and take control of your life. Follow these tips carefully: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/25 05:58 PM
1

Yeah, it's a terrible deal for you. She will owe substantial child support in most states. You can calculate this based on the guidelines. Most important: Make sure you are getting 50/50 custody, and you are watching the kids AT LEAST half the time RIGHT NOW. Talk to a lawyer immediately! Also read the pinned post on my profile for guidance, it's important you do this right.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 06:47 PM
1

Any of those cameras you buy on Amazon should work fine if you could scatter them around the house. Make sure you are the only one with access to the online uploads. They should have backup SD cards for local storage.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/25 02:05 PM
2

If you're sure there's no option for a stationary camera, at least get a voice recorder in your pocket. Not your phone. Record all the time. The storage is big enough to do this. You can also get police style body cameras on amazon. If nothing else they will dissuade her from Faking stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/25 02:04 PM
2

I recommend recording all the time, every interaction, specifically for this reason. Add cameras around the house that you control, too.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 07:19 PM
2

Yes, that's absolutely true. But if you record all interactions, and NONE are aggressive, I think you're in pretty good shape.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 07:05 PM
5

This is why you need to fight like hell, and have plenty of evidence. Record all interactions. Use security cameras. Don't just lay down and complain. Take action.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 03:38 PM
3

Yeah that's a fair point. Judges want to cover their asses, bigtime, even at the expense of justice.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 03:11 PM
6

You take your lawyer's advice and fight like hell for this. It will probably be thrown out if the judge has more than two brain cells. But you never know.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 12:52 PM
5

You can fight like hell for as much custody as you can get. Realistically you're looking at 50/50. Half of that property is yours and yes you could force a sale. General advice for all men: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/ But the most likely outcome is that you'll have to pay an irritating but manageable amount, and you'll recover financially pretty quickly, maybe find a better job. But you'll also realize what you've been missing…
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/25 05:28 PM
-2

Most, not all. There are no guarantees. Your experience does not invalidate the general trend.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 01:34 PM
1

It's absolutely possible. I was pretty promiscuous when I was young, and I stayed devoted to my wife for 20 years. Even toward the end, when our marriage was falling apart, I stayed loyal and I stayed committed. Probably to my detriment. For the record I was approached by several over the years, and I resisted because I was committed to my partner and family. It is a two-way street though. You have to make him happy and proud to stay committed to you. You need to see his happiness as a priority …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 12:42 PM
2

Sometimes it's more of a dangling carrot test to see if the guy is devoted (or desperate) enough to wait some arbitrarily long time, or jump through whatever hoops she lays out for him, before having sex. If he complies obediently, it indicates he can be relied on to stick around under more circumstances, and that she is in control. Excellent criteria for a husband. (not in all cases, and it's not always done purposely, but it definitely happens)
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 09:02 PM
6

I'm sure he'd be happy to research anything you wanted for $600/hr. Him suggesting you do some of it is a big way to save money (assuming you can) Best approaches to handle lawyers is to write out all of your strategy and questions, and review it with them. Compress as much in time as possible. Find out what you can on your own and check with them. This saves a lot of $. If they are in a firm, you can talk to the managing partner about this issue.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 10:29 PM
–

Whatever he wants. High value men get to choose what suits them. Sometimes it's a hot sexy arm candy gal, sometimes it's an accomplished career woman, or anything else.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 10:18 PM
–

Your whole point is just a tautology.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 08:58 PM
3

Disagree. Lots of high-value men date gorgeous women that can't (or more accurately, don't want to) support themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 04:15 PM
20

Thank goodness my gal doesn't care at all about Valentine's.
/r/MensRights14/02/25 03:53 PM
2

"for every house a woman got through divorce she had to give up half the company or something to the husband" Implies that there are similar numbers of men giving up houses for women, and women giving up equity in their company. Those numbers are nowhere close.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:42 PM
-1

Whether it's common to advertise OF during school volunteering or not is really irrelevant here, because you have no evidence that she did anything like that. And I highly doubt it's that common - it's quite a difference from spamming DM's on reddit. Just like this pedophilia accusation. You have no evidence at all for this and it's way out of line. Remember, you're the one that made baseless accusations against an innocent person. If it's not right to do to men, it's not right to do to women ei…
/r/PussyPassDenied13/02/25 04:30 PM
–

Sure. Only in the "consenting adults can do whatever they want" sense. Gives me the ick, but it's really none of my business.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:26 PM
1

Maybe, maybe not. But you were the one that said "for every house a woman got through divorce she had to give up half the company or something to the husband" which is just ridiculously wrong. Sadly, nearly all men don't know the real cost of marriage until they get divorced. They really should! They're learning, thankfully.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:22 PM
1

How many women have had to give up half of their company, compared to how many houses women got through divorce? The ratio is basically zero. It also presupposes the effort and value of the work the man did and woman did were comparable. They rarely are.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:05 PM
–

Well, if two grown adults have meaningful, informed consent, that's really none of my business. Ick factor for me for sure, but that's OK, I'm also allowed to feel that way. You don't have to agree with the OP, but leaping to OP justifying pedophilia is not really supported.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 01:52 PM
-4

You are absolutely right. There's some real pieces of work lurking in these spaces.
/r/PussyPassDenied13/02/25 01:32 PM
–

No, I don't read it that way at all. Sounds more that preventing that is well under the umbrella of "informed, meaningful consent" rather than making it explicit and separate as a rule.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 01:30 PM
81

That would be fair use then. But same point applies. Separate action.
/r/PussyPassDenied13/02/25 01:17 PM
-12

That's a totally baseless and disgusting accusation. You have no reason to believe any of that. Except for your own psychotic nature perhaps. Projecting maybe? If you don't want women making accusations like this against innocent men, don't do it to women either.
/r/PussyPassDenied13/02/25 01:09 PM
231

The judge in this case has no jurisdiction against the image sharing. If she wants to bring an action against people for sharing copyrighted material, she has to do it separately. There is no relationship to this case at all.
/r/PussyPassDenied13/02/25 01:08 PM
4

Awesome!! Turning point for me was just getting back out there and going on dates. No expectations, no agenda, just kind of seeing what was out there and who I might meet. I had a blast! I learned quickly that I was, in fact, attractive and dateable, and still had a little game! This was all from the apps, too. After a year+ of screwing around I met my current gal, and have since settled into exclusivity and whatnot. She's awesome. But if it doesn't last long-term, there are many others. (The ot…
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 07:35 PM
1

Not with a tested partner in an exclusive relationship? You're missing out!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 01:44 AM
3

Your opinion is pretty fringe, but have at it. Going bareback with no risk of pregnancy is a huge win. It's wonderful. I have no regrets whatsoever, I definitely don't want more kids. That you would conflate "balls" and the vas, means you are totally misinformed.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 05:54 PM
3

Not a remotely reasonable comparison. Vasectomies to not affect testosterone production at all. It only affects sperm delivery, and nothing else whatsoever. There is no reason it should be considered emasculating. On the contrary, it protects men from getting baby-trapped. That's the opposite of emasculating.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 05:40 PM
1

Yes, many women don't like knowing they have to work to get/keep good men. That's all absolutely true, and it's indeed quite wonderful! I've been riding that cumulative wave for a couple years since my divorce, and killing it. Those are the most useful RP lessons that create real results.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 10:58 AM
34

Vasectomies are excellent for avoiding unwanted pregnancy, especially baby trapping. They don't make women lose attraction. Just the opposite. Emasculating? Nonsense. And going bareback? Nothing better. I recommend it for all men who don't want (more) kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 02:57 AM
-1

I think the value is more of having options, not necessarily taking advantage of the options (plate spinning). If she knows she doesn't have you locked down, and you can attract other women easily, there is less likely to be complacency on her end and she'll work harder in the relationship to keep you happy. Tricky to navigate with marriage though.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 12:33 PM
4

I didn't see the parent post but I like how this is stated. These are the good red pill men, and we're out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 12:29 PM
2

This exactly.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 04:15 PM
1

Chatgpt and similar might help! Good luck! But I'm pretty sure there is zero legal requirement. It's all negotiations now though.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/25 02:14 PM
2

This is the precise and exact answer. But it is a point of negotiation. She can ask for whatever she wants and you can counter with an offer to get this done if you want. Having your lawyer tell her and the mediator that child support only starts when there is an agreement in place, might get her to back down
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/25 10:31 PM
1

Until then they are separated, and who they get together with in the meantime has no impact on the divorce itself, legally, at least in the USA. (Even if they weren't separated it doesn't matter pretty much everywhere.) Divorce is just a legal status, and often takes a long time. People shouldn't deprive themselves of good relationships just because the paper isn't signed yet.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/25 07:23 PM
8

Tell her absolutely not. You will not even consider mediation until she discloses all of her financial documents. ALL of them. Even then, don't bother. She's still going to hide stuff. You'll need to force disclosure with a subpoena. Work with your lawyer on this and keep fighting. Still, for $500 who cares, it's an hour of your lawyer's time. You could use it as an opportunity to trap her in a lie (she may not disclose everything for mediation, but attest that she did. Then you get more via sub…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/25 02:51 PM
-1

Sounds to me like they are already well down the divorce path, and there's only the legal arrangements to be made. No one can/should fault him for finding someone new, and considerations of the feelings of the ex should definitely not interfere with his promising new relationship. What a tragedy that would be.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 08:47 PM
-1

It's not an affair if they're divorcing!
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 08:23 PM
1

You don't need to wait until your divorce is final. It's a ridiculous requirement and gets in the way of so many promising relationships. It's a legal step, nothing more. EA? Nonsense! If you're over your ex, and ready to move on, that's the important part. Go back and sweep her off her feet already!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 08:23 PM
3

Ask your lawyer, but yeah you'll probably have to file a petition with the court, yes just in a custody matter.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 06:40 PM
2

From what you describe I'm not really seeing the problem. Sure, you can't move away because you would give up custody. But can you not develop your own life where you are? I've learned to accept and embrace being a 50% dad. When I'm with my child I am focused and present and we have a great time. But then when the kid goes back to mom, I get to have my own life to live again as I wish. And this part has been amazing.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 01:22 PM
2

Absolutely true, good point.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 02:48 PM
4

How about none of us get off put by ANYONE'S sexuality? If theirs doesn't match yours, then fine. Find someone else. Don't yuck our yum.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 12:57 PM
5

Absolutely horrible. You need to strategize very carefully and prepare for her to lie like crazy. You need to document everything and report it all. Get a lawyer immediately. Follow this advice carefully: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/lJ9b77Yx3r
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/25 12:44 PM
0

Even I'd say they are pretty highly correlated.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 09:06 AM
2

This exactly. Be very careful she doesn't trap you if she gets a whiff of you moving on.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 07:20 PM
3

Wow, how horrible. Watch how she changes her tune when she realizes how much child support she'll have to pay you! (Don't back down!)
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 02:30 PM
3

Right here. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/JkDxebvq1X
/r/askMRP23/01/25 12:34 AM
3

Pretty fucked up for sure, India's system is atrocious.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 07:28 PM
2

Cool, man. Glad I could help. Good luck to you!
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/25 10:23 PM
2

I think you're going to be in reasonable shape regardless of your decision. You're thinking through all the right things. I'm not much of an expert on IT contracting but I would imagine that you could switch offices if you really wanted to. I'm sure they're always looking for good people.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/25 09:37 PM
1

State taxes suck but you have to consider everything - total cost of living, how happy you are there, career opportunities, etc. I have friends in Atlanta that like living there. It's a decent city. Can you visit each for a little bit to see what vibes? Get a sense for cost of living too.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/25 09:07 PM
5

Sounds like Miami or Atlanta would work OK. If you want to focus on your career but not have access to your son, Austin is a great city. What's your custody situation? If you move away you might be stuck with more CS.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/25 02:49 PM
2

Wow! I haven't listened to TAL in years, I should.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 12:56 PM
2

Yep, I agree, best to do it secretly. Switching at birth is probably the closest analogy.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 12:41 PM
1

Women (and men) should never expect complete, blind trust. If she doesn't respect a man's need to have peace of mind over something so important, an instead expects 100% fealty, then she is not someone I'd want a relationship with either.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 07:20 PM
2

It's not an accusation. It's just checking if an accusation should be made or not. It would be a nonissue if it was just done routinely. The rest of your post is a strawman.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 07:17 PM
2

If their dealbreaker is something unreasonable, or worse, actively destructive, then yes, it's appropriate to call it out. Blindly trusting anyone is foolish. Women (and men) cheat all the time, and verifying that your kids are actually yours is a perfectly legitimate thing to do, that in no way justifies the ending of a relationship. You also note that "preventing" it is also "messed up". I would say that ending the relationship or having similar negative consequences certainly is a step to "pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 07:12 PM
1

Nope, she could still very well have cheated, just without creating a baby. It's not a cheating test, it's a paternity test. We just want to be sure that our kids are really ours. That's not an unreasonable thing. Preventing it, breaking up over it, or outright banning it (as in France) is the evil part.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 07:03 PM
2

They have to accept it because it's a reasonable thing for a man to do, and it's unreasonable to end the relationship over it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 06:57 PM
2

A lot of men just don't think about it until they're faced with a kid about to arrive. Men shouldn't ask for it at all though, because women tend to freak out over it. They should just do it secretly until it's normalized.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 06:35 PM
-1

It's not an accusation of anything, that's what people just refuse to get.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 06:33 PM
3

Not only are single men viewed as failures, but those who actively reject modern dating are vilified as misogynists. There used to be a subreddit for guys opting out of the dating market, called "men going their own way". It was banned.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 04:49 PM
-8

Verification of paternity is not causing relationship strife. The over-reaction by women is. But I get why they hate it, they want to be able to get away with it. Also why it's been banned in many countries, ffs.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 02:43 PM
-9

They do care though, lots of women are in hysterics over the possibility that their partners would dare verify that their kids are theirs. But I agree, men should just get it done, privately, at least until it's normalized.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 02:16 PM
-1

There is no shortage of irrational, hysterical women when it comes to this issue. Being correct is not a democracy. And I'm hardly alone. Plenty of women agree with me, and plenty of men do as well. I have no shortage of excellent, amazing women in my life. It's telling that you consider my position correct, but you argue for me to change my position because I should be appeasing the women around me. That's a pretty pathetic position to be in.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 02:01 PM
-1

It is absolutely blind trust. Plenty of women cheat without any clues available to the man. Plenty of men are raising kids that are not actually theirs. But because women are so irrational about this, it's definitely best to do it secretly. At least until it's normalized.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 01:50 PM
1

The only adversarial part is her irrationally freaking out over the prospect of ensuring my kids are actually mine. Those are the problems. Her reaction. Not the man's choice to verify.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 01:47 PM
1

You're just going in circles, if you have a point, make it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 01:17 PM
3

Disagree. Blindly trusting anyone for something so important, especially when verification is so easy, is completely foolish. Testing should be routine and normalized. Don't blame men because some women cheat.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 01:14 PM
6

Peace of mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 01:13 PM
-6

If a woman is so irrational to be dumping a guy for verifying something so important, that's her deficiency, not his.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 01:11 PM
6

Beautifully said!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 01:10 PM
6

Men would be foolish to blindly trust their partners in important situations like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 01:06 PM
8

I'm verifying that I'm the biological father.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 01:04 PM
5

"Trust, but verify" is appropriate. Verifying for peace of mind is not the same as an accusation. Nowhere close.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 12:40 PM
0

No matter how many accusations there are, or how supposedly damning the publicly available evidence is, everyone deserves proper due process in court. Everyone. You also cannot extrapolate "he must be guilty because so many accused". Justice doesn't work like that. If it's so clear cut they wouldn't have had to resort to such shenanigans to get a (temporary) conviction.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 03:31 PM
3

Do not respond to them at all. Do not communicate one bit without a lawyer. You will only hurt yourself and your friend. Lawyer. Now. No communication.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/25 09:53 AM
4

Unacceptable. Try harder. You will be destroyed without one.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/25 09:52 AM
5

You need to get straightened out and actually read stuff. The subpoena asks for specific information. Doesn't sound like you know what that is. Get a good lawyer, keep your mouth shut, and follow their advice.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/25 09:51 AM
2

Or you argue irrelevance, because infidelity doesn't affect divorce rulings pretty much anytime.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/25 09:49 AM
1

So she responds with an affidavit saying No. Easy.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/25 09:48 AM
2

What does any of that have to do with this other woman? What information are they seeking in the subpoena? They are asking for basically 100% of assets? That's laughable. Pretty much everywhere you'd split marital assets and debts, that's it. You have a good lawyer?
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/25 09:45 AM
4

Your attorney can fight the subpoena. Why would the alleged affair even be relevant if true? These days it rarely matters. What are they asking for?
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/25 09:31 AM
2

Not as financially hard as if you don't have good representation. Fight hard for 50/50 at least, plus child support etc.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/25 05:02 PM
6

"Our lawyer"? No. Get your own lawyer. Mandatory. Read my post.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/25 04:40 PM
11

Do not move out without a parenting plan in place, legal and signed. If you're sahm dad you need to leverage it. See the pinned post on my profile for strategy.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/25 04:33 PM
2

Yep, I even had the perfect chance. Traveling for work, my marriage was effectively finished, I had dinner with an old friend (+ long ago fling) who was still just as hot as ever and in a similar situation. She would have gone for it, without question. Ah well.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 06:22 PM
2

Nope I didn't. I probably should have though.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 09:55 AM
4

Don't beat yourself up too much. You connecting a little more with this friend was a symptom, not a cause. Seems that the serious problems with your wife were the real problems.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/25 05:17 PM
3

Right here. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/YCsmXDCIpj
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/25 09:21 AM
5

Thanks. I fought hard for a favorable settlement and came out OK.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 07:59 PM
8

That's why I did a lump sum. It's a brief painful moment, then it's over and done and I can focus on my future.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 07:50 PM
7

None of your "ammo" matters whatsoever. What the courts care about is the well-being of the kids. Your sex lives are irrelevant EXCEPT how it affects the kids. If she's bringing strangers into the house to fuck with your kids around, especially over your (well documented??) objections, that's a huge problem that a judge will NOT look kindly on. Do NOT TAKE THIS LIGHTLY. Read this and follow the advice: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_pa…
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 06:29 PM
9

That will almost certainly change. Be prepared. Document everything.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 05:55 PM
4

Yes you can, but you need a parenting plan. You can treat this as amicable, but be very careful, and prepare yourself for a fight. It's outrageous she's bringing strangers into the home over your objections. This will without question impact her fitness as a custodial mother.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 05:21 PM
4

You can express the desire for them to stop watching porn, but you have to also recognize that this is kind of a fringe opinion. Most people can use porn perfectly fine, and it doesn't interfere with their relationships. In this case, the request is totally unreasonable and yes, is controlling, but you still have the right to make it. You can't control who they fantasize about. Just be a great lover so they are focused on you.!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 03:34 PM
44

Clearly he wasn't doing enough dishes.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/25 06:45 PM
0

Document it carefully with proof or admission. Just in case for later. Especially if something worse happens.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/25 02:44 PM
2

She may try but I think she'd be unsuccessful. You should consult with a lawyer though. Kids? Also see the pinned post on my profile.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/25 02:07 PM
4

Generally you split assets accumulated during marriage, not everything you own. I don't think you'd need to split this. Have good records.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/25 02:03 PM
2

You can't stop her from moving out, but you can stop her from taking your son. You have equal rights to him as she does. DO NOT let him move out. She can go without him. If she moves out and takes him, it will give her more leverage for custody. You will probably need a lawyer for that part though, find a new one or get in touch with yours ASAP. If she is actually diagnosed, you need to use that against her. Other important strategy: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advic…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 05:40 PM
2

Yes, that's a good point.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/24 07:31 PM
6

Well, first, I landed on my feet both personally and financially after divorce. My guidelines to make that happen: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/ I think it was mostly just attitude and getting some positive reinforcement that helped after. Realizing that there were tons of great ladies out there in the same situation as me, and wanting the same things. And they were pretty easy to find! And that, yes, I was attractive and deserv…
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/24 05:54 PM
12

It's wonderful. There's a whole world of people and experiences out there. All kinds of awesome amazing people. Find them and find your happiness! Also required reading: "No More Mr. Nice Guy".
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/24 03:47 PM
3

Playbook: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/WypR3cYycS Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/24 10:16 AM
2

Just judging from the posted video, she's not all that.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 12:32 AM
2

Why are you asking such detailed questions?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 08:37 PM
1

They only include it if the welfare of the child is affected. In simple adultery, it is not. The other sources are clearer about this.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 08:34 PM
2

That's not true at all. In no-fault states, it doesn't matter except in very rare situations. https://www.sterlinglawyers.com/case-law/cheating-affects-alimony/ https://www.reddit.com/r/legal/comments/13q5xge/does_infidelity_affect_divorce/ https://www.apmillerlawgroup.com/blog/2022/may/does-adultery-matter-in-a-massachusetts-divorce-/ https://www.drfamilylaw.com/blog/infidelity-and-divorce-in-no-fault-states-like-california/
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 07:21 PM
1

No it doesn't, not in pretty much all states. Infidelity has no impact on no-fault.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 06:03 PM
2

Why would it help his case? Almost everywhere is no-fault these days.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 06:00 PM
2

She looks heavily made up / filtered, and without the fakery she'd be pretty plain. She's not in very good shape, either. If we're just focusing on the physical. Also I'm not terribly interested in some chick who fucked 100 guys in a day either, and despite breaking down over it, is still somehow proud of this "feat"? dafuq?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 05:07 PM
3

I wouldn't marry anyone, and for sure not her. She isn't attractive to me at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 03:47 PM
5

https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/8aCtES8Ib6 Prepare now and get strategy set with a lawyer. You decide when it is best based on this strategy. There is some merit to having her work, offsetting child support. But imputed income can be determined.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/24 12:49 PM
1

Right here. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/8aCtES8Ib6 Without kids this is much easier. Don't be too gentle though, she will come at you hard. Be ready.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/24 12:06 PM
2

We've all been there, and it sucks, but the future does hold promise. Prepare now to get the best outcome, and taking charge will make you feel better too. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/EEjn6AVXzj
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/24 01:39 PM
1

So it's OK for women to hate men, but not vice versa. Got it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 03:17 PM
-1

No one is claiming otherwise. Nice strawman.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 03:16 PM
-5

It's telling that you didn't have any objection to the hate of men by these women.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 02:17 PM
-4

I don't agree with OP at all, but think I get the point. If they hate you, so fervently and openly, why shouldn't you be allowed to hate them back?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 02:03 PM
5

Then she should move out, and pay enough child support for you to keep the house. If you get 50/50 custody she'll be paying you plenty.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 02:58 PM
2

Exactly right. Do not leave until there is a formal parenting plan. She can leave.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 02:57 PM
2

You need to strategize very carefully, but you should be able to get out of this without too much damage to yourself. You have to break up, but do not leave. When the time comes, you make her leave. You keep the kid. But first, you need to document ALL of the physical abuse you can, and gather evidence. You will need to make a case for full custody (with supervised visitation). Difficult, but if what you say is true, and you can prove it, you'll succeed. Other general advice is here: https://www…
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/24 04:02 PM
17

I'm over 50 and am incredibly attracted to my gal, who is almost 50. We've been together a year and no signs of slowing down. Youth is fun and all but maturity, wisdom, and perspective is huge.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 02:05 PM
2

Right here my friend, follow this: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/ Absolutely quietly strategize and work very carefully to disentangle yourself from this marriage. Play the long game, with patience. Do this and you'll be OK at the other end.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 01:34 PM
–

Standards are not immutable, they are heavily influenced by peers and culture. That's what determines "actual" attraction. There is no standard that's separate from this.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 01:20 PM
–

Strawman. No one except for rare fringe and cringe-worthy people are advocating for compelled anything. But it can be recognized and accepted that our culture's standards for attractiveness may be gliding into an unreasonable realm, leading to rampant loneliness and dissatisfaction. Standards are not immutable. They are heavily influenced by peers and culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 11:43 AM
2

It's not all or nothing. Peer pressure can prevent a woman from giving a shorter guy a chance in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 10:28 AM
3

What do you know about who I am dating?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 09:05 PM
7

Peer pressure is a thing. You can't dismiss it or pretend it doesn't exist, even for women supposedly with minds of their own.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 05:09 PM
3

Unfair that trivial, immutable characteristics are used to reject men. No different than if he were rejected for his hair color or race. Would you say the same if he were, for example, black, and constantly rejected for it?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 05:08 PM
11

Wrong. If her friends are looking down on her because she's dating a shorter guy, she's not going to date shorter guys and he'll have trouble getting dates. Even if she's still attracted to him, pressure from her peers ("society") will prevent it. It's unfair to him and it's healthy to call out such toxic culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 04:33 PM
8

This is an excellent answer. Sometimes certain standards slide into something ridiculous, to the detriment of our culture. That specific, trivial, immutable characteristics can become the basis of rejection is ridiculous and deserves to be called out.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 04:13 PM
1

Yeah I get you. It sucks that they are telling you this. It's horrible that our culture has slid in that direction. For advice all I can say is you do you, be proud of yourself, and fuck the haters.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 01:17 PM
7

All this obsession with men's height is incredibly unhealthy. I feel really bad for our culture that it's gotten to this point.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 10:26 AM
4

LOL California. You're fucked but you can mitigate the damage. Best odds forward, follow this: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/ It's so sad that people don't realize what marriage actually means. Good luck to you.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 04:13 PM
1

Not OK. If divorce is even remotely a possibility, start strategizing and preparing NOW. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/ If she makes more than you, and you are at 50/50 custody (or better), she'll be paying you child support. You can also get alimony and half of all marital assets. Talk to a lawyer quietly.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 03:10 PM
2

Of course it's not logical to us, but it's logical to her, because it reinforces her control. What does your parenting plan say?
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 01:36 PM
2

All told I did OK. I could have pushed for a better deal but that could have backfired, too. We settled, and avoided a (more) costly court fight. Pretty sure she spent way more than me on lawyers.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 12:30 AM
3

Personally, it really is just part of the package. It works on some women and looks terrible on others. It works for some personalities, and not others. I think it should be done carefully and selectively. I'm not a big fan of excessive woke types (liberal is fine) so if it's correlated with that, it's a turn-off. It's also a turn-off when ladies make a big deal about it or use it to show off how unique, quirky, or "cool" they are. No one is impressed. If it's done tastefully, and looks good, an…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 08:14 PM
7

Some do, and some don't. Those that don't like it, have all kinds of reasons. Once again, generalizing like this gets you nowhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 08:01 PM
1

I didn't make anything up. I'm going directly from information provided by OP. She lied about her fertility (yes he's an idiot for trusting her). She lied about her intentions to relocate.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 07:08 PM
5

Lots of woman ARE awful. (Men too!) Men are right to be on their guard against women who would use them financially etc.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 06:37 PM
1

Not slander if it's true! From what OP said, it all is.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 06:29 PM
2

Sometimes it works ok, sometimes it doesn't. But the reality is that there are a LOT of single mothers out there looking for a guy to "help out" with expenses and such. You clearly preferred a single mom, which is fine. Plenty of guys don't want that complication in their lives, which is also fine, though it will obviously narrow the dating pool some. For me, I've dated both. I'm a little older so kids tend to be out of the house or can look after themselves, so it wasn't much of an issue.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 06:10 PM
3

Get those cameras and record everything. At least take notes, time, place, what was said.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 05:40 PM
2

Then he should take the kid with him!
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 05:39 PM
2

If you have been the SAHP, she should leave and pay you child support.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 04:51 PM
6

You won't succeed without an attorney. Find a way and follow their advice.
/r/MensRights16/12/24 04:50 PM
2

Start here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/ For the house, you can contact your lender to see if this is an "assumable" mortgage, or consider refinancing. If she's the breadwinner how is she a SAHM too? If she's the breadwinner, she'll pay you support and maybe alimony. Push for 50/50 and you'll likely get it. DO NOT MOVE OUT.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 04:48 PM
13

She's not going to abort, that baby is the source of her power over OP.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 04:09 PM
1

Keep your own list of your own actions, and hers. But don't sweat it too much, this kind of petty nonsense is generally irrelevant to judges.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 04:07 PM
6

Excellent! Congrats! Getting back into dating is daunting, but a few tips from my own experience: * Don't sweat it. The stakes are low, if it doesn't work who cares, it's just "practice" to see what might happen. I had tons of dates like this early on. * Be honest but not too open. She doesn't want to hear about your ex, at all. If asked, answer directly and move on to better subjects. It's ok to say "I'm a little new at this!" * Listen to her and learn what you can. Be engaging and fun. * Don't…
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 02:56 PM
3

The existence of the child is not some ultimate power that the woman now wields over the man. This is exactly what baby trapping is.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 02:11 PM
5

It's exactly what it is.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 01:56 PM
6

So she should be able to baby trap him against his will, and now he has to sacrifice his livelihood and happiness for the sake of this horrible woman? A baby is not some automatic win trump card. For the record, I am a parent. But nice try with the insults.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 01:51 PM
9

She lied to him about her willingness to move. She lied to him about her fertility. She trapped him with a kid in order to demonize him for still wanting to move, which was the plan all along. Seems that she was the devious one here. And now you demand that he sacrifice his livelihood and the remainder of his life for this horrible woman?
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 01:36 PM
7

She also lied to him about her fertility, and lied to him about her willingness to move. She completely misled him every step of the way.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 01:34 PM
6

And you are an excellent example of how men are unfairly demonized, no matter who does what. Then you extend it to all men getting a bad rap. Toxic af.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 01:08 PM
0

Seems their feelings are very much mutual.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 01:05 PM
1

So?
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 01:05 PM
5

Nonsense. She baby trapped him, went back on her word, and rallied his family into making him the bad guy. He's not the selfish one.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 12:54 PM
2

You have to live your life in whatever way makes you happiest. You are not at fault here and no one should expect you to sacrifice so much to appease her changing her mind. And the relationship was doomed anyway. Better to be separate than together with resentment.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 12:52 PM
6

Why is he the selfish and cruel one, when she apparently changed her mind? And went off the pill early? They agreed to this. She went back on the agreement.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 12:51 PM
12

Yeah her post history is almost entirely man-bashing. She really revels in stirring the pot, and spends an incredible amount of time doing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 02:23 PM
6

Woman have many more choices and opportunities than men, for both sex, intimacy, and relationships. It's not remotely close. Once they're together, ok, you can argue that men have control during the sexual act, but that's not what we're talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 02:10 PM
4

There is no such thing as "the one". Many people do not have or will ever find a soul mate, and many people will have several people they are compatible with. There's no reason to believe there is "only one" person out there for anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 02:09 PM
13

Are you saying it's easier for a man to find a soulmate than a woman? At least women tend to have way more opportunities and choices. Many men have none.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 12:45 PM
0

Yep. Don't you dare challenge the orthodoxy of women or you will be rightly ostracized! LOL
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 02:58 PM
7

Fight like hell. She has a lot to lose. You've got this. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/rrwFLGFOyI
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 09:44 AM
6

Yep, I hear you. My ex looks like she's aged a decade, and I've never looked better! But at this point all that matters is that we can deal with raising our kid best we can. I'm over the animosity, I just don't care and it's not worth my energy. In fact, if she's happy, my life is easier. And especially now that I have a delightful, gorgeous girlfriend who likes great sex as much as I do, life has gotten a whole lot better. I'm a couple of years ahead of you. Keep pushing. You'll get there! And …
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 02:49 AM
3

Keep pushing brother! Glad I could be of help! Judges hate when people hit record and then push buttons to get a rise. Stay cool and you'll be set.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 02:04 AM
13

She'll ask for the moon, it's all BS and talk. Stand your ground, 50/50 and that's it. Lawyer up, and get to work: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/24 03:40 PM
4

Good for you for not rolling over and falling on your sword! Keep everything you deserve. But yeah, it's definitely possible to coparent effectively. Tons of people do so successfully.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/24 08:48 PM
3

Because I've learned a lot about how women work, and how relationships work, especially since paying close attention when re-entering the dating pool as a more mature man. The evidence is very convincing. Yes, as a young man I was much more clueless about women and dating. Now I'm understanding things much better. I wish I knew then! I learned, read, and observed, and saw the general truth and it made sense. Sure. Evidence that was more convincing than that which led me to Red.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 05:29 PM
2

Prepare first. Very important! https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/NWssEfzGpz
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/24 01:51 PM
5

Your ex moved out, they are no longer living there, and no longer a tenant, and have no rights to access your home. Set up security cameras just in case. And change the lock anyway. But it's not stupid to ask your attorney either.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/24 06:04 PM
–

Cheaters are going to cheat, either way. If it's not someone she works with it'll be someone from the gym, or another local parent, etc. At least men can protect themselves financially by ensuring she's working.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 03:44 PM
4

The gym did it for me. Especially joining a social gym like crossfit. It's a pretty good social scene and getting that energy out is very important. Even though I wasn't really that close to folks at the beginning, just having familiar people and friendly faces around was a huge help. Combine that with a few evenings out with gym buddies, and the relationships develop quickly. Aside from that, reconnecting with old friends was also a big help. Just to get out and have some distractions.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/24 01:33 PM
1

"love, cherish, and obey" if you want to get hung up on vows.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 06:12 PM
1

If a man announces he's getting a divorce because he's in a sexually unsatisfactorily relationship, he's often demeaned and called shallow, wanting nothing more than sex, etc. Or he's blamed for it, like he's not doing enough housework or similar such nonsense. It's pretty common.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 06:12 PM
1

Literally no, that is not true at all. There are probably some weirdo idiots out there calling themselves RP, but you don't get to generalize everyone by finding a few outliers.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 06:07 PM
3

They're fools and missing out! (assuming it's true!)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 06:06 PM
2

You found one weirdo and launch into: "these redpill men today are.." Nice work generalizing completely unfairly.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 02:31 PM
4

I've never heard of this either.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 02:07 PM
0

Agreed. It's a sad part of our culture and really should change. Men's (and women's) sexual needs are important and should never be trivialized. "Just deal" or "all you care about is sex" and such is totally toxic and should be called out with a big "fuck off".
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 02:00 PM
18

I've never heard any indication whatsoever that kink/fetish play is against any redpill standards. You are totally wrong here. Ridiculously wrong, even. On the contrary, RP men are delighted to indulge in great sex of all kinds.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 01:44 PM
1

I can't imagine any woman having a problem with this. Hell, she might be psyched to not have to worry about pregnancy! Own it with pride! Or don't tell her. It's really up to you but I think you're fine either way. (I'd feel the same as if some woman were born without ovaries, say. Unless she's to bear my bio kids, I do not care at all, if anything it's a plus!)
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 10:29 PM
2

Your rights are to raise your daughter in a safe and loving manner, regardless of the standards your ex says. She can ask for whatever she wants. You don't have to agree. If she wants to enforce anything, it has to be agreed to by you in a parenting plan, or enforced by the court or GAL. That's a pretty tall order and she probably will not be successful. Give her whatever lip service you need to, but you do you and what's best for your kid. She no longer has any control over you. BUT you need to…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 04:53 PM
5

That's awesome. I'm glad you found something that works. What country are you talking about?
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 01:03 PM
0

No u
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 02:34 PM
0

No, we really are not. And I personally don't care about population decline.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 12:45 PM
3

At least prepare while you consider what to do. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/QbHaHUU7zW But it's not going to get better. Prepare yours and strategize.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 11:55 PM
1

They don't. Red pill men, by and large, don't care if women get married or have kids not.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 11:22 PM
10

You know why.
/r/MensRights03/12/24 04:44 PM
11

It's meaningless. The contract is unenforceable and there are no repercussions for lying.
/r/MensRights03/12/24 04:33 PM
5

I did one better and got the snip. The ladies can try all they like to impregnate themselves! LOL But it's not difficult AT ALL to impregnate yourself with a salvaged condom. It was so much of a problem that NBA players are warned to flush the condoms or take them with them.
/r/MensRights03/12/24 03:29 PM
15

Women have been known to poke holes in condoms, or even fish them out of the trash to impregnate themselves. Happens quite a lot, sadly. And there are no legal repercussions against them possible, and the men are on the hook for child support. Really awful.
/r/MensRights03/12/24 02:48 PM
1

No fault is kind of standard these days. But how far they dig into your finances is really up to the opposing council. Generally it's only a few years that's relevant, to show income and that you weren't hiding assets. You need to read the pinned post on my profile.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 10:23 PM
8

Dude. I replied to your other post but I'll do so again: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/ If she's going to be way ahead of you on income, insist on a 50/50 custody split and that SHE PAY YOU child support. And alimony, etc. Get a lawyer and strategize! Maybe tolerate all this until she's making bank, but imputed income is a thing.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 06:33 PM
19

DO NOT LEAVE. It's a sham, she's setting herself up for full custody and that sweet, sweet child support. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/ If she wants to leave, she can, but she leaves you with the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 06:14 PM
4

None of it will be easy, not for a while. But now is the time to focus on strategy and your future. We've been there. I can tell you though, it gets better. But prepare. Now. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/sHQVHVVZaT
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 08:03 PM
2

Because I see their posts elsewhere, read about trends, etc. It's written about extensively. It's rampant.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/24 12:35 PM
7

I don't like her but I can deal. We play nice for the kid and mutual friends. I avoid her otherwise.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/24 11:06 PM
3

Not even close, but nice attempt at a redirect.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/24 11:05 PM
6

Social media is mostly showing off and validation for young women. The connection to friends and family is a distant second.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/24 02:40 PM
1

No, because I disagree with your premise that "porn and the objectivization of women in the media plays a significant role in man's overall relationship with women." It's absolutely possible to consume porn and enjoy it, while still respecting women. Porn is titillation and performance, it doesn't replace real relationships. Any woman that is so insecure that she'd be threatened by porn, or so offended by it, isn't someone I'd want to be with. I'd rather have my perfect partner and enjoy porn wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/24 02:38 PM
1

He was convicted, but when new evidence becomes available, the state must allow it in court, but Harris blocked it. https://www.mercurynews.com/2019/08/01/democratic-debate-kamala-harris-tulsi-gabbard-joe-biden-fact-check/ You folks really just bend over backwards for your heroes, no matter how corrupt of a prosecutor she was.
/r/MensRights27/11/24 01:38 PM
1

The burden is on the STATE to prove, beyond a reasonable doubt, that a crime occurred. If there are issues with the DNA evidence, that's the state's problem, and if it in any way exonerates the accused, EVEN IF there are problems, the evidence MUST be disclosed, used, and available to the defense. She was completely in the wrong here, and you are, indeed, a boot licker.
/r/MensRights26/11/24 03:02 PM
250

Yes, it's true, at least for the Cooper case. She railed hard against DNA evidence that may have exonerated him. https://www.sacbee.com/news/politics-government/capitol-alert/article233375207.html There were also allegations that she (and her staff) knew that marijuana tests were giving false positives, but hid the evidence, ensuring that many black men were unjustly incarcerated.
/r/MensRights25/11/24 03:44 PM
1

You need to focus on strategy now. It's hard to separate out emotions, I get it, but for your future financial well-being, and your relationship with your child, you have to be very strategic. Follow this: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 03:10 PM
6

Keep it civil but be very careful. She is now a legal adversary and the stakes are high. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/ArcXcfV2ru
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 03:57 PM
3

Listen to your lawyer, and read the pinned post on my profile. Be careful and strategic. It might be unpleasant but you can handle it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 12:45 PM
2

Two thirds of all of the lesbians reporting abuse, reported abuse exclusively from their female partners. The data said nothing about how many men were abusers, but the upper limit is 1/3rd. That assumes that all the men are abusers, which is far from true. So yes, rampant.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 11:12 PM
1

Far more were in exclusively female female relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 09:04 PM
1

They provided clear evidence that DV in lesbian couples is rampant. Not that men had anything to do with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 05:18 PM
2

Take your time. Build yourself up for you. Gym, work. That way, no matter what, you're all set.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/24 01:53 AM
3

You'll be ok. She's dragging you down. Plenty of great ladies out there looking for a guy like you.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/24 01:28 AM
1

Don't be obtuse. I was agreeing with the DV and DB comments.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 10:35 PM
0

Pretty clear to me that it's rampant DV between women alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 09:27 PM
13

And far safer jobs. Until they demand that women also fill roles of oil rig workers and garbage collectors, it's clear they don't want equality.
/r/MensRights22/11/24 09:01 PM
3

DO NOT LEAVE. You could lose custody very easily, and maybe the house. And get stuck with ridiculous amounts of CS. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/ It's not too late to change your mind. Get a lawyer immediately. But congratulations! It sucks now but there's a world of opportunity out there for your happiness.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/24 08:25 PM
-1

Nah, I was just agreeing with the last paragraph. I'm not gay enough to really know how many of them want serious relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 08:22 PM
-4

Of course there's no proof. She's looking for ways to blame men for DV rates in women-only relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 07:59 PM
4

I don't hear that at all. RP is about recognizing truths and acting accordingly, not about blaming and whining.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 06:22 PM
9

I never said that anyone was destroying dating. I've had a great time. I think there's plenty of justified complaining from everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 05:46 PM
12

Yes, as I understand, DV rates and dead bedrooms are rampant among the lesbian community.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 05:43 PM
11

Untrue. Women blame men for their dating woes just as much.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 05:40 PM
19

Nothing staggering about it. People whining about dating is nothing new. Women complain all the time, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 05:08 PM
50

That two groups are having trouble dating does not at all mean that they are having trouble dating for the same reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 05:01 PM
3

Get a new attorney. You need to be establishing her imputed income and get yourself a proper deal. She should be paying YOU.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/24 02:40 PM
102

We all know the pay gap is nonsense. It's starting to become common/mainstream knowledge, thankfully.
/r/MensRights22/11/24 02:38 PM
7

Hey, if it works out for you, more power. Surprised there's no mention of alimony or child support.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 08:33 PM
1

OK, in your case there isn't really any substantial downside that I see. Doesn't matter if you deserve it or not, if it's not his asset, you have no claim. Don't trust anything he says that's not reviewed by YOUR lawyer and signed by your ex. You can probably use your promise to not go after his current condo as leverage to protect yours.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 08:06 PM
8

If you move out, especially with kids left behind, the other parent is now the primary caregiver, and it's extremely detrimental to future custody claims. Even without kids, if you move out, the presumption is that the person who is staying in the house is the de facto "new owner" or at least inhabitant. They have a ton of leverage for ownership claims and such. Never give your opponent an advantage.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 07:58 PM
12

Yep. Fuck all that noise. I broke up with her a couple of years ago and never looked back. Life is great!
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 04:47 PM
14

When my expressions of sadness and frustration were met with anger and contempt. Nothing else mattered really.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 04:38 PM
2

GTFO, have some self respect already. She's using you because she thinks she can't take care of herself. Not your problem. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 02:36 PM
–

Love, honor and obey if you want to get hung up on oaths.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 10:34 AM
5

It's been several years, there must have been some progress in the case by now. I wonder what happened?
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/24 05:05 PM
8

This exactly! I'm not ever getting married again though.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/24 05:05 PM
8

You leave her behind and move forward with your life. Accept that it is over, and that brighter future is ahead.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 09:32 PM
2

Generally it's a very bad idea to move out. It's as much your apartment as hers. If she's not happy, she can go. Whether you cheated or not is legally Irrelevant in most areas. You do need a lawyer immediately though.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 03:44 PM
1

LISTEN TO THIS, OP Don't be a sucker. Why should you leave and not her, anyway? The house, and kids, are as much yours as hers. Don't be a pushover. More advice here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 03:43 PM
11

Those cannot be enforced anywhere.
/r/MensRights14/11/24 02:26 PM
2

Clearly you have no understanding or appreciation of what men have to deal with. False accusations are a big deal.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 06:28 PM
1

You should demand alimony, half of all marital assets (and debts), and child support. You need to have (and cultivate!) very clear evidence that you are the primary caregiver. Do not settle for anything less. My general advice is here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/ Very important to do this carefully, and quietly, with a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 05:24 PM
2

See the pinned post on my profile for advice. But lawyer, counseling and gym are the first steps. It's a tough process but if you do it right, you'll come out OK. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 12:18 PM
1

If you're seeing that crap on X it's because you followed these idiots in the first place.
/r/MensRights07/11/24 03:32 PM
3

It can be strategic to keep her more on an even keel so she's not so irrational during settlement negotiations. Then again, it can also be strategic to get her to freak out and get aggressive and emotional, to her detriment.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/24 01:28 PM
2

Accept it after you file the affidavit, and just to be safe defer the start date.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/24 09:27 AM
7

I'm always a proponent of having more information. The truth is important. The way you decide to act based on that truth is up to you. Just do it in secret so she doesn't freak.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/24 09:48 PM
4

I'm about your age and went through divorce recently. Seems like you made out pretty good all told. Enjoy yourself! There's so many great people out there in exactly the same situation. Find them!
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 07:29 PM
2

Fucking divorce her, take half the assets, and get child support then! Enough of this crap.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/24 12:14 PM
5

Generally you can recover it, but it takes a lawyer and an understanding judge. Better to prevent such theft in the first place. Get a lawyer immediately.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 03:47 PM
12

I think your response was excellent. You gave her facts, didn't beg, and she can draw the correct conclusion from there. It's really to be seen if she changes her behavior over it.
/r/askMRP28/10/24 02:18 PM
2

Think about it carefully. You were instrumental in helping her earn that retirement, and your own sacrifices enabled it to exist in the first place. You deserve your equal share. You may regret it later.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/24 10:32 PM
4

Lawyer for sure, before you do anything or tip her off. You may very well have a claim. At the very least you're entitled to half of the assets gained during your marriage, including her savings, retirement, etc. I have a pinned post on my profile with general guidance and advice.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/24 09:48 PM
-5

Nope, they can leave if they're unhappy. But sometimes they're unhappy because they have unrealistic expectations of what's out there (grass is greener and all), which is indeed foolish. Then they regret it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 06:11 PM
0

Totally untrue. We encourage women to leave toxic relationships. But we also recognize that lots of women leave good men for what we consider foolish reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 06:04 PM
4

He didn't say that at all. That's two comments that you made that are totally unsupported.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 06:03 PM
3

Right here, brother: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/24 05:59 PM
1

But you remarried! Lesson learned?
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 03:31 PM
1

There are also plenty of us who recognize that the legal state of marriage is highly detrimental to us (and many men), but still adore having good women in their lives.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 02:45 PM
-2

Swearing off marriage is a LONG way from "thinking all women are evil". Shame on you!
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 01:57 PM
2

Lawyer immediately and get a temporary parenting plan (50/50 or better) in place before you move out.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 06:06 PM
2

My advice: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/rWJHzoW107 You need to document your time with the kids, primarily. Show that you are handling at least 50% of the parenting time. Chores and dog doesn't really matter.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 12:26 PM
3

Minus fair consideration for the appreciation of the down payment.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 06:15 PM
7

It's definitely over. You have to prepare and strategize now. Establish yourself as primary caregiver with rock solid evidence. Log every hour you are watching the kids and she is working or whatever. Back it up with evidence. (photos of her car gone, etc.) you'll come out with custody and probably child support. Follow this advice here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/5SNmyFaXxX
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 12:34 PM
8

This exactly. Document with home security video, logs, anything that will eventually convince a judge.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 01:40 AM
9

I regret waiting as long as I did!
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 01:20 AM
1

Get a lawyer for sure. Her income can of course be imputed. You may not need to pay as much cs.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/24 06:02 PM
3

Safe deposit box, lawyer, will. Any of those will work.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/24 10:38 AM
1

Why does she get the house? You have as much right to it (and the kids) as she does.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 02:37 PM
2

Paying off the credit cards ASAP seems like the right move for sure. That interest is no joke. Especially if you are accepting that debt as yours. Why are you assuming all of this debt AND paying her for the house? Is that in exchange for the 401k and other assets in totality?
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 02:14 PM
1

Good luck. You need to understand and accept that the relationship is now over, and she is now your legal adversary. Act accordingly, and you'll ensure you come out of this in reasonable financial shape, with your relationship with your kids intact. If you waffle or fall on your sword, you're going to get yourself screwed. You can easily force a house sale if you need to. Or have her buy you out at a FAIR price. Or buy her out! But accept it's over, and look toward the future. It'll be ok.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 02:01 PM
2

Right here brother. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/NL0WAobl9z
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 09:06 AM
2

I was scared too, I hadn't dated in 20 years! My tips: Embrace the apps. They are a useful introductory service, and you take it from there. Go on practice dates with low stakes, just to get used to it again. Elsewhere there are good tips for making your profile stand out. Personally, I really like paying for premium, and selecting from those who have swiped on me. It saves so much time. Right swipe very selectively, and left swipe judiciously. Then you are seen as more valuable in the eyes of t…
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 11:47 AM
8

No, there is no chance. Prepare accordingly. Now. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 06:35 PM
4

Lawyer, right now. Do not agree to anything without their approval and review. We've all been there. YOU MUST STRATEGIZE NOW. If she makes more money, you may very well get alimony and child support. Fight for what's yours. My general advice: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 05:25 PM
2

Just north of 50 here. I'd go 30-55 depending on maturity and health. Maybe a little younger if it was just clearly for fun. And I always follow the campsite rule.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 12:24 PM
7

Fantastic, congrats! Similar experience here. And I'm much older (50+). So many wonderful ladies out there and so much fun to be had.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 12:47 PM
1

There are minor, modest issues not substantially greater than other service industries. Arguably much less. Happy?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 03:24 PM
-1

You're just being pedantic.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 02:51 PM
1

Strawman. "No issues" is an unrealistic standard for any industry.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 10:26 AM
-1

Very little these days especially! Not zero but no industry is perfect. Much of Europe shrugs at this.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 10:16 AM
2

It's also legal and a non issue in many civilized places in the world and has been for centuries.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 10:06 AM
9

Does it apply to men too? I know I'm not shy about sharing how much better off I am now.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 06:55 PM
2

They usually do. Otherwise, scrimp, borrow, and beg to get the retainer.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 03:00 PM
4

The lawyer can do it, and that's how they will be paid.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 02:45 PM
5

Pretty sure you can (both) use marital assets to pay for your own attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 02:41 PM
2

Take a break from women. Get your ass to the gym and get your energy out, focus on you. Up your self-pleasure game if you have to. They aren't helping.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 01:20 PM
4

It means that you now see her for what she is, someone who was there in fair weather, and happily accepting your support, but someone you couldn't count on to support you when times are tough. Not unusual for women. Now you get to rebuild, move forward, and find your happiness. It's out there!
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 12:57 PM
0

It's like you've sacrificed yourself completely for her selfish benefit. Get a lawyer today and get yourself sorted.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 10:02 PM
3

Can you somehow come to an arrangement with your wife, so that everybody can get what they want? She's retiring in her 30s?
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 09:28 PM
6

There are no magic words brother, but it's a process. I would seek therapy, and get your ass to the gym. Now. Even if you don't want to. Your body needs it and your soul needs it. Get the energy out while you rebuild. It will get better.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 12:29 AM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/ She can't kick you out no matter what. She would have to formally evict you. Do not leave. But be ready to defend yourself against false DV allegations. If you have any documentation of her agreeing to share house ownership (email etc), make sure you have it all backed up somewhere very safe. This would be unjust enrichment and fraud. Get a lawyer immediately.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 05:34 PM
1

You might get it. Though you may have to negotiate against alimony or your share of other assets. Get a good lawyer and listen to them.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 10:04 AM
6

I had good success with it. Around here Bumble and Hinge are most popular. 50+M. Who cares if your ex sees you? You have to get by that. Date proudly.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 04:19 PM
6

You're going to get pretty good child support and alimony if you play this right. You must insist on 50/50 custody at the very least. And you'll split all marital assets (including retirement, house) and debts. General advice: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 03:45 PM
3

My tips, very important: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/vv21lfhHLC Hold on fast for 50/50. Get a good lawyer and fight. Prove she has the ability to work.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 11:34 AM
4

She wants too much, and she's trying to fleece you financially. Stick to 50/50 custody, that's it. You do not have to subsidize her house, and it's not fair for her to ask. Just tell her "no" and stick to your guns. Don't fall on your sword over this. Read the pinned post on my profile for guidance. Seems like the best solution is for her to move with her parents, and YOU to keep the house for your kids' sake. Turn it around on her! She has no more right to the house (or kid) than you do.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 07:08 PM
2

We don't have enough concrete information to go on here, to give really solid advice to do XYZ. You don't really either. It's certainly plausible that he's figured himself out more now that he's moved, and that you two could live happily ever after. Going through divorce is traumatic and healing is hard for many. He deserves some consideration and understanding about that. And that he was such a good partner to you can't be overlooked. I would say, all told, go to Seattle, but live on your own f…
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 12:47 PM
1

Started easing into dating six months in, and I'm around two years out now. It's a process.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 09:29 PM
15

When my expressions of sadness and frustration were met with anger and contempt.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 01:33 PM
2

Not OP but can you go in the morning before the kids get up? Or work out at home?
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 01:12 PM
1

Squats!
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 01:12 PM
4

I think it absolutely is. Your best years aren't behind you if you are always looking to improve yourself, and your happiness. I left a miserable 20 year marriage and thought this way, but I went out there and tried anyway. Now I'm having the time of my life and have so many wonderful things to look forward to. You can have whatever kind of relationship you want, and on your terms.
/r/MensRights04/10/24 05:15 PM
13

I'm about two years out. I was absolutely miserable before I pulled the trigger. I'm so glad I did. I work out every day, and have lost significant weight (>20 lbs). My health is much better. Even before I lost weight, I was killing it on the apps. So many wonderful ladies and experiences! This caused my confidence to skyrocket. I am a commanding presence with all ladies now, and flirt for fun (respectfully/playfully). I have an incredibly hot girlfriend now, with a libido as high as mine. It's …
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 04:25 PM
–

Nothing wrong with it whatsoever. Denying yourself a source of pleasure because of these weird hangups, insecurities, or opinions of some losers would be the tragic, sad outcome. As in everything, just be in control and keep your head on straight. Have fun!
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/24 09:10 AM
9

Never stay together for the kids. They'll be fine. Have some pride and end this.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 03:06 PM
3

OK, you don't have to agree with the lifestyle, but as long as it's all open, consenting adults, it's completely moral. I think you need to work on yourself a lot more before you date.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 09:10 PM
5

It's her life, and she's happy! Why would you feel pity or sadness?? You could have had a nice romp with a fun gal. If you're not ready yet, then fine, but don't be so harsh to judge.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 09:03 PM
4

Awesome! We'd love to hear how you worked that! I'm also enjoying myself. Half the time I'm a devoted and rewarded dad, and the other half the time I'm having so much fun, socially, ladies, parties, travel. It's the best.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 05:41 PM
3

Then your expectations of a regularly satisfying sex life are not realistic. Communication is key.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 02:54 PM
6

Yep. And I've been with a few women who don't communicate their preferences well, verbally or not. They shouldn't be surprised when the experience is suboptimal.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 02:35 PM
6

False dichotomy, and an unfair insult to men. Lovers should be communicating with each other as to likes/dislikes. Expecting a man to "just know" is ridiculous and unfair. A woman who makes no effort to communicate with a man is as much as fault for his lack of performance as he is. Arguably more.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 02:33 PM
2

There are, but not everyone is so blessed. Beyond intuition though, is each partner should be paying close attention to how the other is responding, and adjusting accordingly. Or, you know, they can explicitly state their likes/dislikes. Not everyone can or should be expected to be "intuitive". Communication is a thing and it is important that BOTH do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 02:32 PM
6

That's not really OP's point. They are saying that because it's relatively easy to get a guy off, what constitutes a good or a bad lover differs greatly from men to women. So women should be a little more humble when they accuse guys of being no good in bed. There is probably truth to that, but if women aren't satisfied in bed they should be taking proactive role in fixing things. Show him what feels good, teach him new things, etc. Guys obviously should be paying attention and seeking ways to i…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 12:52 PM
22

You need to let her go. Look at the bright side though, she will be paying you heaps of alimony, and if you have kids, child support. In NY state you can also recover what you paid for her education, probably other states too. You have an excellent case for a lot of assets. Do not leave. Get a lawyer immediately and start building a strategy. It'll help later, and it'll help your psyche. My general advice: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_thi…
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 07:08 PM
3

Spending extra now might set a precedent. Ask your lawyer. You do have one, right?
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 05:17 PM
3

It's over. You better prepare yourself, right now. My advice: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 04:21 PM
10

I was in your shoes. 20 years out of practice. But ended up killing it. Embrace the apps. They are excellent for introducing you to ladies, and at our age, we are in demand. If you are relatively normal, with your life together, and not a weirdo, you're ahead of 80% of the guys already. And there are tons of women looking for exactly the same things as you. Take it slow, and practice with low stakes dating for a while. Get used to it again. It's fun and you'll still meet cool people along the wa…
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 07:52 AM
3

It sucks, I know. We've been there. All I can say now, is get your strategy in order, and plan for your future. It will get better later, but you have to plan now. And the act of planning, strategizing, and TAKING CONTROL of your situation will help your psyche enormously. Please read this advice: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 08:56 PM
3

I'm a RP and very successful with women. We find it from the other direction.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 12:51 AM
11

This might be, but you need to be sure the settlement is equitable to you. At least run it by a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 06:22 PM
–

You sound fantastic. I hope you easily and readily find your happiness, or if you have, grow it!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/24 05:00 PM
1

Talk to a lawyer, often you can use marital assets to pay for legal representation. If you have 50/50 in writing, maybe you can then go after assets if the contract doesn't already disclaim them.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 06:02 PM
1

You shouldn't agree to anything without an attorney. You need one, even if you think you can't afford it. At least get a consultation. If you cashed out and stopped contributing before the divorce, you better believe you are entitled to half of hers. If it's after, why are you contributing so much?
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 05:46 PM
7

The evidence is admissible, but it's probably not relevant. The lawyer does have a point against "staging". He needs to focus on her supposed inability to work, and prove that she can. Focus on the assets, that's really all that's at stake.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 04:20 PM
5

Ask your lawyer, but absent any parenting plan, you can both do what you want with the kids. Document this carefully.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 06:56 AM
7

whose argument was essentially that women can't be trusted This is where most of the people misunderstand and misinterpret the argument. Trust, but verify. We can still trust them, but with stakes so high, it's worth verifying without question.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 12:20 PM
3

If you have 50/50 and she makes more, she will be paying you. Talk to a lawyer. Of course, it's easy for her to hide income through her business. You might need to subpoena all financial records.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/24 07:38 PM
6

Install cameras everywhere, with audio, that you control. Head this off. Lawyer, now.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/24 05:08 PM
1

It's both, ideally at least. A good relationship cultivates a good sex life, and a good sex life cultivates a good relationship and overall happiness. It's a positive feedback loop, hopefully. But women do need to realize that good sex is a *necessary* part of a relationship to most men, even if it's not *sufficient* for an ideal relationship. If women deprioritize sex, or worse, demean their partners for wanting it "too much" or whatever, this positive feedback loop turns into a negative feedba…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 12:59 PM
1

"half your time" worrying about it? Interfering with family bonding? You grossly overestimate how much energy we are putting in. The smart ones will quietly test after birth, just to be sure, and to avoid the irrational wrath of our baby mommas. If we need that security. (I don't, personally but support all who do).
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 09:33 AM
1

Then you have your answer. If you need to enforce this, get a lawyer. Probably should look over your child support arrangement too.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 06:51 PM
3

You talk to your lawyer about it, it all depends on your state laws and what your parenting plan/divorce agreement says. It's pretty common that one parent isn't allowed to move the kids away.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 06:24 PM
4

I was psyched. No looking back, no regrets, just so excited to move forward! It was shit getting through it all but I knew it was worth it. Once everything was signed I took off for a long weekend in Vegas. :)
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 12:56 PM
10

It's over. She's checked out, and it's all decided. Don't you dare beg for her to come back. Fault right now is totally irrelevant. You need to maneuver, legally. Immediately. What you do now is keep your mouth shut, and plan a strategy. Don't let on. My tips are here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 01:47 PM
11

When my expressions of sadness or unhappiness were met with anger and contempt, I should have known it was time. I stuck it out for too long for the sake of the kid. I am infinitely happier now. I have a gorgeous girlfriend, a good social life, and I'm a devoted happy Dad for half the time. It takes a lot of work to get to this point of course. It sucks along the way. But it is so worth it. If you are going down this path, take a look at the pinned post in my profile for advice. It's important.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 01:45 PM
6

Apps for sure. You get so many introductions and you know they're all interested, at least a bit. You take it from there.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 07:42 PM
6

She's attracted to his money.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 05:29 PM
3

LOL, it sure as heck does! <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 04:45 PM
3

To most young women, money means much more than physical condition.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 04:29 PM
14

This is the right answer here. It's not for manipulation, it's because they are both at their most attractive phases of life, generally.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 04:08 PM
1

Not all, just lots of them. Much like men really.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 01:43 PM
1

This is why I advocate that men shouldn't get married at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 12:09 PM
21

It's over once this crap starts. You need to prepare yourself and build strategy. My advice: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/
/r/askMRP18/09/24 04:57 PM
1

The reason he can't talk to her is because she's going to react completely irrationally and blow up the relationship over something so trivial as a paternity test. That's not his shortcoming. That's her shortcoming. It's not a trap. The man deserves peace of mind and there is absolutely nothing wrong with him getting it. If his wife is going to behave irrationally over it, he needs to do it in private. Pretty simple.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 11:44 AM
5

You're in the right place! https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/ If you want out, get out. Seek your happiness! It's a hard process, but absolutely worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 04:18 PM
1

Yep, they do. It's even illegal to get paternity tests in some countries! Outrageous.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 04:16 PM
2

The premise that he does not trust you is false, so your argument collapses. Trust, but verify.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 03:33 PM
0

I also support that. I don't consider either impossible though.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 02:40 PM
6

If I'm denying her sex I wouldn't blame her for finding someone else to have sex with. Why would I care, if I didn't want sex with her anyway?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 02:10 PM
2

It shouldn't be, and your odds are better. Really though it's not cheating if there is no sex already. There's nothing to "cheat" against.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 02:00 PM
0

There should be no negative repercussions, that's the point. And the other partner has no basis for complaint; they don't want sex anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 01:59 PM
6

An un-owed request can absolutely be denied.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 01:58 PM
-1

Sometimes (nearly always) when married, that breakup is financially and socially devastating. If that wasn't the case, I'd agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 01:55 PM
1

Divorce is, obviously. You need to prepare. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 01:54 PM
1

Sometimes, sure, but not necessarily. I've known plenty of guys who are physically unattractive (conventionally) but did great with ladies, because of the above. Being good looking always makes things easier, of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 01:49 PM
-1

They always have a choice. You're strawmanning all this sex slave stuff. But if they're expecting monogamy, but not satisfying their partner, that partner has every right/obligation to step out and find a lover, without negative consequences.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 01:46 PM
6

I don't think it's cheating, and I definitely don't think anyone "owes" their partner duty sex. However, it's definitely a violation of monogamy, as when there is no sex, there is no monogamy either. It's "nogamy" or something. So there should be zero social stigma (or legal/financial repercussion) against the other spouse to find a lover on the side. They cannot demand monogamy while not satisfying their partner. Expecting the other partner to remain faithful while being denied sex is cruel and…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 01:44 PM
2

Pay cash for gold coins and such.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 12:58 PM
4

Yes. It's unfortunate. I feel great sympathy for those who've had to go through life being bullied, demeaned, and declared a creep or otherwise unworthy of love or sex. I can't imagine what a lifetime of that does to someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 12:57 PM
5

Definitely do not tell. It's an irrational hot button issue for many women. There should be no issue whatsoever with paternity tests, but women get hung up on this like crazy for some stupid reason. It's not an accusation of anything. It's a clear trust, but verify situation. The men need to know.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 12:38 PM
7

Yep. Confidence, fun, and "game" can overcome a lot of suboptimal physical attributes too.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 12:30 PM
15

Women don't want "bad guys" per se. But they do want someone fun, confident, and with healthy swagger. It's just most obvious or triggering for dudes that it happens to be bad guys a lot of the time. Those are a lot easier for them to land. The good ones, who also have confidence and swagger, are in incredibly high demand so very few women can get them. So they settle for bad boys. They definitely do not want thirsty blue pill guys that think they have to appease their women constantly. Not for …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 12:02 PM
1

The odds of it working out are very, very low. It's not worth pursuing. Go on your way and find your happiness.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 09:34 PM
5

Damn, glad you pulled through. It didn't get that bad for me. I knew things would get better and just had to keep my head down and get through it.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 03:27 PM
1

This data is completely unreliable. "The closest we can get to an official figure for the number of false rape allegations is how many people were prosecuted for perverting the course of justice or wasting police time after making a rape claim. The latest data on this is from a 17-month period in 2011 and 2012, when the CPS prosecuted 35 people for making false allegations of rape."
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 03:10 PM
2

I agree with you. Obviously men should never sacrifice themselves for any woman. That's just advocating for them to be subservient doormats. There's little if anything in it for the men. Women want that, of course. (by and large)
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 02:25 PM
2

Intentionally feed her misinformation.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 11:39 AM
3

No, but 2023 was pretty mixed, 2022 was hell, as was 2021, 2020, etc. Keep pushing. It gets better.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 10:17 AM
0

Very untrue. False accusations are rampant.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 09:48 AM
6

Nearly all of us aren't anything like these immature assholes you've overhead, thankfully. So please don't generalize based on extremes.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 04:09 PM
1

Once again, pretending I said something that I did not.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 03:43 PM
1

Same goes for you. I've seen so many it's impossible to conclude otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 03:38 PM
-4

But one has to work only with the information you have at the time the decision is made. Since there was no evidence, there was no reason to disbelieve that he was a victim. Future actions don't change that. This is well known as hindsight bias. But it's true many people overlook that.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 03:35 PM
-3

I'm not saying she should be prohibited from doing so. I'm saying she's a fool, or awful person, for doing so. Just like I'd consider a woman a despicable person for dumping someone only because he had, for example, interracial or gay parents. There's a difference between something being awful and being disallowed entirely.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 03:26 PM
1

Not true at all. False accusations are rampant.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 03:18 PM
-2

I'd recognize that the false accusation would have no bearing whatsoever on your risk assessment. You had no reason to believe he was a higher risk than anyone else. So I'd offer sympathy, and support you as much as I could in handling such a horrible thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 03:16 PM
2

My scenario and question is essentially equivalent to yours. What do you think about men who think this way? If I'm on a date and they share they've been falsely accused, I'd offer empathy, because it must be pretty devastating to have so many people consider you guilty, and worthy of being shunned, just because you were a victim.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 03:04 PM
2

Absolutely nonsense. You have a very distorted view of reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 02:52 PM
-1

No one's saying they shouldn't be able to break up for any reason. I was wondering what women thought about this, considering the mirrored idea presented by the op.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 02:50 PM
9

This is basically the equivalent of a man saying they would never date someone who made an accusation of rape at some point, because they know that sometimes those reports are false and he might become a victim. The men have to protect themselves, right? How would women feel about men who did this?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 01:16 PM
2

Your safety is a delusion, because there is zero evidence of him being a threat compared to any other man. You've condemned him with no evidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 11:56 AM
3

Talk to a lawyer. This is a fixable situation if you do it right. Don't even try doing this on your own. Didn't you learn your lesson?
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 11:48 AM
6

I never claimed you couldn't. I just said you're a bad person, hypocrite and liar for doing so, while pretending to be supportive of him. Maybe for your own self delusion so you can keep pretending to be a good person. You can't shun someone and pretend you aren't shunning someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 11:14 AM
5

Choosing not to interact with them is ill will and disdain. This is why false accusations ruin lives, because of folks like you.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 11:05 AM
-1

Clearly you aren't all for innocent until proven guilty. You're willing to condemn a man based on nothing. This is part of why false accusations ruin lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 10:57 AM
-1

Bullshit. It happens all the time and the man deserves the benefit of the doubt, absent any evidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 10:45 AM
24

What an obnoxious article. If there's a high chance your kids aren't yours, that would be a reason to make paternity testing a priority! Not avoid it! Sheesh. But yes, there is a big conspiracy against men for this. In many countries it's ILLEGAL to check paternity! Absolutely absurd.
/r/MensRights13/09/24 11:03 PM
8

I'd choose neither. But if I had to, sex for sure. It's a necessary, but not sufficient, element of a healthy relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 11:01 PM
1

Also, relax what you consider red flags. Most of what you wrote is not.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 10:16 PM
8

Don't be like those men. But take the most important element from those men that makes them successful: confidence, swagger, and not giving a fuck.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 07:10 PM
2

Invite them to come visit you in your tropical paradise.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 04:00 PM
3

Talk to a lawyer before you do anything or draw any conclusions. You are probably not nearly as fucked as you think you are. But if you really think your life is over, just pick up and move somewhere that can't enforce the ruling. To hell with them all, live your best life. If you're a remote tech worker that should be pretty easy. My general advice: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 03:52 PM
2

Good! Give yourself credit for moving on and changing for the better.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 01:12 PM
2

Congratulations! You're on the way. My general advice: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/COXh7suFmE
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 11:14 AM
1

Not only is there light at the end of the tunnel, the whole world opens up to rainbows and gumdrops. It's AMAZING on this side! It takes time and work, but you'll get there. I filed two years ago, and it took about a year to get everything in shape. But that included me preparing myself (somewhat) previous to filing. It's the greatest thing in the world. You have control of your life and your happiness! I always offer this advice on getting there as quickly as possible: https://www.reddit.com/r/…
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 09:00 PM
7

No way. If he's living for himself and his own well being that's really the opposite of boring.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 08:55 PM
19

Redirect him to live for himself and exude confidence, and never appear "thirsty". That's what these women are going for, not their "badness".
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 07:50 PM
2

Don't pay her lump sum without a HUGE discount!!
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 05:42 PM
12

Don't do this OP, unless you negotiate a huge discount for a lump sum.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 03:33 PM
14

Other men should protect themselves by not getting married. It's a crappy deal.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 03:32 PM
1

So much doom and gloom! Yeah there are tons of profiles like this, but there are also plenty of normal decent ladies too. It's not that hard to sort through and sift, but it does take effort.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 10:13 AM
9

Don't be a sucker. You'll really regret it. Get a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 09:56 PM
2

I was talking about black people, not black women. Sure sounds to me like you trust men much less than women. Do you just distrust both a lot but equally?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 03:21 PM
4

Out of curiosity, would you say the same thing about black people for example? Why or why not?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 03:12 PM
-2

Read more carefully and without your sexism, if possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 02:35 PM
0

All the horribly alarmist and misandrist crap that OP says populates their feeds they consume so enthusiastically.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 02:32 PM
3

By the logic of OP, absolutely.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 02:21 PM
0

No, it's that you characterize a whole gender based solely on garbage you read online. That's totally sexist. Would you say the same awful things about other groups, like, for example, black people?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 02:21 PM
2

Right here. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/nU0AqR910k
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 04:52 AM
3

Please get some help. Therapy works.. Get to the gym too, it's as important to your psyche as your body. You need to get the energy out. Maybe making strategy and taking control can help. My general advice: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/Xlz7urG4Xh I'm sure it doesn't look that way, but please believe us, things get a lot better. Even better than they were. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 07:47 PM
0

You can get it! Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 06:05 PM
1

Yes. You can subpoena them if you can't get them directly. Also employer records. You should talk to your lawyer about this. She won't want to be on the hook for tax fraud.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 04:32 PM
1

You desperately need a lawyer working for you. If you are paying over $3,000 a month to her, you can afford to pay a lawyer properly to mitigate these expenses. The investment is absolutely worth it. Don't cheap out on legal representation.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 02:57 PM
3

Talk to your lawyer but it can be managed with a temporary custody agreement. But don't leave money on the table. You may very well regret it. Lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 10:08 PM
2

LOL. Because it's not true and you know it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 06:28 PM
1

I don't see anyone doing so. Projecting much?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 06:01 PM
0

The only insults I've seen is from those going against the RP men here. "vulnerable" "fragile" "triggered", for example.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 05:51 PM
0

Why do you say we're triggered when we're just pointing out the reality of our lives is completely the opposite to what the OP states? Seems like you're the fragile one! We're here living our best lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 04:59 PM
8

Your lawyer will tell you if it's something that will make her an unfit parent, but given that you're youngest is almost 18 it probably doesn't matter anyway, since custody is moot. (Unless she's trying to get CS even still, then you fight.) Alimony won't be affected. But what you do is go your own way, leave her behind, focus on your kids, and don't look back.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 04:54 PM
5

We don't push away non-toxic women. We embrace them. The toxic ones flock to the blue-pill appeasers. We also are not bitter or toxic, just the opposite! We're happy, confident, and in control of our lives. So your argument falls apart immediately because of false pretense. You understand TRP completely wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 03:55 PM
6

I can't speak to alimony in OH, but please read my general advice here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/ Is her mental illness diagnosed? Do you have lots of evidence of behavior that would endanger the kid?
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 03:41 PM
2

I took a cruise by myself after divorce, and it was amazing. NYC to the Caribbean. Take a week or 10 days and do it right. People on cruises are friendly and you'll find people to hang with easily.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 02:07 PM
2

Full legal, shared physical, so you have some time for yourself. Also read this carefully: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 02:04 PM
3

Dude you need to get an attorney ASAP. If she makes more than you, she'll be paying you. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 01:29 PM
4

Learn from your mistakes, but don't beat yourself up. I'm sure she contributed to the downfall of the relationship too. Move forward and you'll find love again.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 01:28 PM
3

So many Redpillers encourage men to work diligently in their career or business and become very wealthy in order for attracting women, yet what are your arguments to the sight of poor couples? False premise right off the bat. Redpillers work for our OWN benefit and satisfaction, and lifestyle. Attracting women (young or not) is NOT THE GOAL. It's a side benefit. Some poor people are poor because of bad choices, laziness, or similar self-created issues. Some are poor because of unfortunate circum…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 01:17 PM
9

First of all, you shouldn't be paying any more than you are required to buy court or your divorce decree. Zero more. Stop giving in to her infantile demands for more money. It will never end and she doesn't deserve it. Clearly. Get rid of the joint account. Now. As for fraud, you could use it to justify a decrease in your child support payments. But this would require going through court for a modification, assuming you have a formal divorce decree filed. If you don't, get one. Ask your lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 01:02 PM
3

There are often exceptions to inadvertent recordings too.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 01:25 PM
1

In most states the laws only address secret recordings, not those done with knowledge. Consent isn't required there.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 12:54 PM
5

If you have clear evidence of her alcoholism, you should be able to get custody. Talk to a lawyer! But yeah, if it's just three years you can probably tough it out. Get to the gym and get that energy out. Therapy too. Be ready for your freedom!
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 12:49 PM
1

Don't ask. Just do it.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 03:35 PM
6

Consent is never required if the recording is done openly. However, sometimes the risk of running a foul of wiretap laws is better than the risk of false DV charges.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 02:13 PM
3

Absolutely not. She will go after you with everything she's got. You need to be prepared. See my most recent post for tips.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 10:46 PM
4

"even" red pill? Dgaf is a central tenet!
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 09:12 PM
3

Yeah lots of this is stuff I wish I knew. Or learned along the way.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 09:02 AM
1

I think any of your bank accounts would be considered community? Probably best not to go too crazy but if you can show it's a reasonable purchase go for it.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 09:01 AM
1

Lease with a huge down payment from shared funds.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 01:57 AM
1

No they do not.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 11:51 PM
1

Why would he be having sex with someone he's not attracted to?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 11:50 PM
3

Excellent advice, thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 11:08 PM
3

Well yeah, emptying a retirement account and hiding assets is a terrible idea. No one here is advocating that.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 07:29 PM
1

That's my understanding too, but I asked for the state because I wasn't quite sure if it's universal. I think it probably is as you describe. It's unfortunate shorthand that people use, and lawyers definitely shouldn't.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 07:28 PM
4

No one said anything about emptying retirement. Many men have been falsely accused of DV so that their ex wives can get full custody, and all that juicy child support that comes with it. Men would be suckers to not protect themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 07:25 PM
9

When half of your assets (at least) are at stake, as well as who knows how many decades of child support and/or alimony payments, as well as the relationship with your kids, anyone would be a tremendous fool to not protect themselves as much as possible. Because believe me, your ex will nearly always pull out all the stops to go after everything she can.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 07:25 PM
2

We can decide anything we want, darling. If women are making a big deal out of something beyond our control, or something we consider trivial, we of course can have an opinion on that. How dare they shame men like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 06:44 PM
5

Huh, that's surprising. Maybe reduce the credit limits then.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 06:42 PM
4

I have no experience with this, but I would be stunned if a judge even blinked at being 11 minutes late on something like this. Don't worry but keep diligent.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 06:35 PM
4

Interesting! I didn't imagine women would commonly think that. Maybe because I'm older (50+) the expectations are different. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 05:15 PM
11

It's not unusual, especially when booze is involved. It's also not a big deal at all and I'm pretty shocked the women would leave over it. They seem incredibly insecure. I think he could communicate better about what's going on, or switch it up and dive down to give her oral or something until he's ready to go again. Keep everything positive.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 04:57 PM
3

Excellent idea, I'll add it.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 04:26 PM
5

Thanks! I owe this community a lot in my journey, least I can do is help my fellow bros. Maybe the mods will deem it worthy of pinning!
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 04:15 PM
6

What state are you in? Your lawyer might be wrong about recording consent.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 03:33 PM
5

Fantastic, thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 11:46 AM
2

Keep at it. It's hard. Document everything. Fight hard for 50/50 or more. You'll get there! (And I tell you, it's wonderful on the other side!)
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 11:46 AM
12

My copypasta: Your next steps are critical. Talk to a lawyer, immediately, and develop a strategy. Make sure she cannot argue that you are an unequal/unfit parent. Log your time with the kid, and hers. You need to be sure you are seen by the court as a good contributing parent. (even better if you can prove she isn't!) Document her alcohol/drug use best you can with whatever proof you can. Install cameras, with audio, everywhere you can get away with. Protect yourself against bogus DV claims. Do…
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 09:51 AM
–

If you let her, she will absolutely take you to the cleaners with child support. Fight for custody. Get your kid back!
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 11:29 PM
1

You're part of the problem. You're so afraid of him that you stifle honest conversation and endorse censorship.
/r/MensRights29/08/24 10:59 PM
4

Zero is also consistent. The majority of men out earn and out spend (on the household) their wives. By far.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 10:56 PM
1

You will be surprised! There are TONS of great ladies out there looking for guys like you (us!) I felt like you did at one time, believe me. I was so wrong. There's a process ahead for you, and it's not easy, but goddamn man, it's wonderful on the other side. Keep up hope and follow my advice above. When you're ready, myself and others here will help you along with dating and app tips. But take your time. You aren't ready to date yet. Hopefully you can (soon) accept that she is no longer your pa…
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 07:29 PM
2

Take a breath. You'll be OK. You have an adventure ahead but you'll get through it. My copypasta: Your next steps are critical. Talk to a lawyer, immediately, and develop a strategy. Make sure she cannot argue that you are an unequal/unfit parent. Log your time with the kid, and hers. You need to be sure you are seen by the court as a good contributing parent. (even better if you can prove she isn't!) Document her alcohol/drug use best you can with whatever proof you can. Install cameras, with a…
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 02:52 PM
2

It's the opposite. The political activists won't allow something posted if it remotely shows Trump in a good light. So stupid.
/r/MensRights29/08/24 02:45 PM
6

In relationships men get what they truely want: consistent sex. No, no they don't. Very, very few men get as much sex as they want. Most in relationships, especially LTR, are starving. So the rest of your argument falls apart. Men also do, by and large, provide for their women, and usually get little thanks for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 01:51 PM
–

What you do now is quietly, secretly develop a strategy with a lawyer, and then follow it. If you have kids, be a model dad and spend lots of time with them. Keep track of all hours spent. Change your passwords and get therapy. When you are ready, you drop the bomb.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 10:32 PM
2

Oh, for fitness I recommend crossfit. It's excellent for the body, and if you find the right gym, it's an excellent social outlet as well. You'll find plenty of guys going through what you went though, as well as available ladies (be patient!!!)
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 05:08 PM
2

I'd say that looking through someone's phone is far more invasive than asking for a paternity test. The paternity test is a very narrow, specific inquiry with a incredibly high stakes for the guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/24 04:50 PM
2

Reasonably good plan, but you can't exclude her from the house without a court order. Maybe she'll stay away but she has no obligation to. Recording is an excellent idea. Set up cameras all around your house, too, for when you aren't home.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 04:14 PM
8

Shave your head and hit the gym. Not just for your physique, but mentally, you need it. Maybe get some therapy, just in case. Then get on the apps and start slowly.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 04:12 PM
6

Yep. I think the OP is pointing out that there is a double standard, where women are outraged by their partners asking for paternity tests, but think nothing of checking their man's phones.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/24 02:57 PM
5

*whoosh* It's whether he would be considered reasonable for doing so, not whether he had the ability/right to.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/24 02:48 PM
–

Exactly. Women overreact to this regularly and destroy relationships unnecessarily. Peace of mind is important for many men and women need to accept that.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 07:42 PM
–

The stakes are way too high to not verify paternity. Even if the man has no reason to suspect cheating, they often need piece of mind. Women should understand this and not blow up the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 07:25 PM
2

Leave or open the relationship. It rarely gets better, it's certainly not worth planning for or having realistic hopes for. You are unhappy and she knows why, and does nothing to help. It's time to go. No question.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 11:50 AM
3

Maybe, you'll need to talk to a lawyer about what's likely to be enforceable. But I'm telling you right now. Don't get married. There is no problem for which marriage is a solution. The legal entanglements that result are horrible for most men, especially for those with assets/income. And be careful if you have kids, as you'll be on the hook for a lot of support if you make substantially more than her. Be domestic partners or something. Marriage in name only (make sure there is no common law mar…
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/24 04:17 PM
4

How about if the father was a victim of rape? Should they also pay child support?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/24 01:12 PM
-1

I don't accept that it's coercion.
/r/MensRights22/08/24 07:46 PM
0

They could have walked and had a career elsewhere. I'm pretty sure there are plenty of successful actresses who did not sleep with him.
/r/MensRights22/08/24 07:31 PM
8

I don't know the facts of the Harvey case, but offering something of value to someone in exchange for sex isn't coercive in the least. It's just prostitution, been around forever. Wrong or not, that's up to whoever is involved. They can just say no and walk away.
/r/MensRights22/08/24 07:24 PM
5

You need to drop her and move on. Once she starts down this path there is no recovery. Besides, she's been neglecting you. Why would you want to continue that relationship? There are plenty of great ladies out there for you. You don't need to wait as long as you are confident you are emotionally ready. Just be very careful to not make the same mistakes. You can do low key dates for practice too. Don't feel guilty for wanting a happy life and for your emotional and sexual needs to be met. You des…
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 05:04 PM
1

Right. If it's a wireless keyboard usually there's a wireless usb plug that plugs in anyway, it would go between that and the computer. If it's a bluetooth keyboard without that though, this method won't work.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/24 05:41 PM
3

Usually they are installed in-line with the keyboard at the usb plug. She won't see it unless she's looking specifically. Even then, she probably won't know what it is.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/24 04:47 PM
10

Mine did, while she was begging for more couples counseling too. She didn't know I knew. Fuck all that of course. Their relationship didn't last. Mine did. 😁
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/24 12:04 PM
6

Women do get hung up on it, sadly. I think it's ridiculous. Marriage is a legal state and has little to do with emotional state. Still though, if you are truly sure you are ready, get out there, at least for practice / validation.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/24 12:02 PM
2

You can mitigate the damage with preparation. It's worth a couple hours.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 05:57 PM
10

Imperative that you create a strategy with a lawyer secretly, before you do anything.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 05:09 PM
10

You have as much right to the apartment as she does. But protect yourself from bogus DV claims. Install cameras wherever you can, that you alone control. Record all interactions. Always. You also have as much right to the kid as she does. File for divorce and at least 50/50 custody. If she wants to leave she can, but she's not taking the kid. If she deprives you of the kid, put a stop to it. She'll try to establish herself as primary parent to screw you over. Get a lawyer immediately and follow …
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 05:31 PM
1

Maybe. Women find all kinds of reasons to move on though. At least you should make a few bucks! (or not lose some)
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/24 09:30 AM
1

It's great! He was a movie star, and would have a lot of trouble having the casual relationships he wanted, without the ladies expecting more than he was willing to offer. So rather than using them and dumping them, he hires professionals. Totally ethical and the right way to do it, for him.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 02:54 PM
3

There's nothing at all that indicates he hates women. What a silly premise.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 02:53 PM
4

They can go after whatever they want, but they'll fail unless there are really unusual circumstances. If custody is one sided that skews cs a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 02:10 PM
3

It should scare you. Marriage is usually horrible for men. If you must get married, make sure she makes at least as much as you do.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 12:30 PM
3

It's a lot of it. But I don't think celibacy is really part of it. I'm pretty sure hooking up with women on your own terms and enjoying sex for its own sake was part of the movement too.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 10:30 PM
15

It's going to fail. But don't tell her that now. Go through the motions but get a lawyer immediately and develop a strategy. Now. If she ever said anything about not wanting both kids, that's huge. Document it and everything else. Be a model dad. Spend tons of time with the kid. DO NOT MOVE OUT She's angling for custody and big money child support. She's already preparing to fleece you. Get your strategy straight and make sure you come out clean.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 05:58 PM
1

No one said "all women". Don't project.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/24 02:23 PM
6

This is standard procedure for screwing you financially. Get a lawyer immediate and put a stop to all this. Don't let her assume primary custody, and get your kids back right away. You have as much right to them as she does.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 02:20 PM
2

yeah it can't possibly be the women who are rude, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/24 01:48 PM
7

Getting screamed at one too many times, seeing our kid get screamed at one too many times. I set a deadline and stuck to it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 12:54 PM
9

DO NOT INCREASE YOUR INCOME. If anything, reduce it, until it's all finalized. Alimony and child support will be higher, the higher your relative income is. Don't be foolish. You have a lawyer, right? RIGHT?
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 06:30 PM
2

You're going to get financially raped if you don't lawyer up (secretly) immediately. Good luck brother.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/24 04:09 PM
19

There are plenty of idiots criticizing a 35yo for dating a 25yo.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 05:20 PM
10

She is in all ways far, far better than my ex wife. She's athletic, absolutely gorgeous, kind, fun, and has a libido as high as mine. But it's hard to compare, since we haven't been together 20 years yet... Of course there is hope! There are a lot of great people out there.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/24 03:51 PM
–

That's not true at all. You said again and again that it's okay to mock guys who can't have sex or who have small dicks or whatever. As long as you don't like what they say. That's not right. That's like mocking a woman for being fat or ugly or whatever because you don't like what she said. Also not right. Both behaviors are reprehensible.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/24 12:54 PM
5

You need to talk to a good divorce lawyer immediately. These stakes are very high and you need professional help. Do not let on, make sure she has no idea.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 07:44 PM
1

I care about all of it. But this thread is about the OP who says it's OK to demean men for not getting sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/24 07:30 PM
1

If you have a problem with someone, mock them for that. Not that they are sexless or have a little dick or whatever you man-haters come up with.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/24 07:07 PM
1

Habitually shaming men for being virgins is misandry, without question.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/24 07:05 PM
5

Take a breath. Her cheating is irrelevant, legally, almost everywhere. So the evidence is not worth worrying about. If you have 50/50 custody now, and it's been in place for years, it'll stand. Your state will probably have standard formulas for child support, too. If you really think your lawyer was not working out, you can tell the lawyer and maybe the judge.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 01:33 AM
3

It absolutely is unless the man does not want it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 05:18 PM
4

I'm not a victim of any of this, and I'm not an asshole. But it sounds to me like you think it's totally ok to shame/mock/demean men for not getting enough sex, as long as they are saying things you don't like. I find that deeply sad and very misandrist.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 04:41 PM
13

My ex gradually grew into a more and more horrible person (in my view). Our outlooks on life and kid raising diverged, and her anger grew into horrible bouts of temper tantrums and horrid behavior, which many (including my therapist and my lawyer) could be considered abusive. Obviously sex wasn't happening either (a problem for many years). I gave myself a deadline, and tried to fix things, and it didn't work. So I filed. My only regret is waiting as long as I did. Today I am way better off. A m…
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 04:38 PM
16

Being mocked and degraded for being sexless does make them a victim of people like you.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 04:13 PM
10

Sounds like it's you that's downplaying the vile behavior of those shaming lonely men.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 04:12 PM
5

Excellent point.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 04:09 PM
16

I think what you mean to say is that it's perfectly ok to mock men for being virgins, etc., as long as they are saying things you don't like. Yeah, that doesn't fly, misandrist. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 04:09 PM
12

Fuck no. I haven't been this happy or had this much fun in years. I only regret waiting as long as I did.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 10:05 AM
2

Nah, that's a different situation and I feel for you. That sucks.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/24 09:16 AM
1

Louis CK said it all. https://youtu.be/otguwCKlGtI
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 12:59 PM
6

Some guys are foolish and or insecure. They're missing out. Toys are fun! And fercrissakes, they're tools! Guys should be all over that.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 10:37 PM
1

Seems you would get half of the house and whatever other assets (and debts) you both have. That can definitely be a great negotiating point for a settlement. Get a good lawyer and make sure you get at least 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 01:52 PM
5

Absolutely. We also have the power to change our lives for the better. And freedom!! It's awesome. Eventually!
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/24 12:53 PM
6

You'll love it, embrace your freedom!
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/24 09:21 PM
3

She sucks for sure. Totally unfair to you. Good thing you're getting rid of her. You'll soon embrace your new life and find real happiness and not give a crap about her any more.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/24 03:33 PM
3

Do what is right for you and what feels good. Juggling lots of people is challenging for sure. I dated four for a while. Now I'm focused on one. But it's OK to catch feelings for more than one at a time. Just keep your wits about you. Also, read "No more Mr Nice Guy"
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 12:33 PM
0

Get your ass to the gym. Find a social gym like crossfit. You have the energy.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/24 06:28 PM
1

Agreed completely!
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 07:32 PM
3

Don't tell her or hint at ANYTHING until you've done the above and made a strategy with a lawyer. You have the upper hand, don't blow it. All of this must be in secret. When the time comes, listen to your lawyer but why should you be the one leaving? Let her leave. Hold your ground!! You have as much right to your kids and the house as she does, and don't forget that. If there's conflict, you'll have recordings to use against her! Long game here, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 05:20 PM
10

Sounds like you made the right choice by moving on. Your next steps are critical. Talk to a lawyer, privately, before she knows anything, and develop a strategy. Make sure she cannot argue that you are an unequal/unfit parent. Log your time with the kid, and hers. You need to be sure you are seen by the court as a good contributing parent. (even better if you can prove she isn't!) Document her alcohol/drug use best you can with whatever proof you can. Install cameras, with audio, everywhere you …
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 05:06 PM
1

Cashing stock does not count as income for alimony/child support. Your "imputed" income - what you can expect to make - does. You'll have to argue it's low because you have been searching unsuccessfully for 9 months. But your lawyer will have to make a solid argument that your imputed income should be lower than 200k. They should be able to.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 04:46 PM
5

I encourage everyone to date when they are READY. This has nothing to do with the divorce itself. Divorce is often a very complicated legal process, and can take years. It has nothing to do with the emotional/availability part. I think it's absurd to wait until that process is complete. The gal I'm dating left her husband a year ago, and has been living on her own since. The legal process is dragging and incomplete, which is completely irrelevant to our relationship. Not at all a red flag.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 03:00 PM
2

In the meantime, stop paying her bills. Make sure she is working as much as possible in making as much as possible. Be the very best dad you can be, and make a log of all the time you spend with the kid compared to her. But there is no delay in getting a lawyer. You need to work out the strategy with them.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 01:18 PM
1

Yes but talk to a lawyer. They won't charge for the first session and will be instrumental in helping you. They can ensure you have money to pay them.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 12:43 PM
15

I wonder if the orgasm gap disappears if they include lonely men that are unable to find partners at all.
/r/MensRights08/07/24 10:07 PM
1

Absolutely for. In fact, they should be mandatory. At the very least, both parties should read over and sign the default terms and conditions of marriage (i.e. without a prenup) before getting married. Just as one would any contract. People, especially men, have no idea what they are getting into.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 04:11 PM
3

It sucks for a while. But it'll get better. You need lawyer, therapy, gym, and friends support and distraction. All essential.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 06:50 PM
5

Me
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 02:00 PM
–

You are undoubtedly focusing on fringe cases. But most incels are angry and bitter because they've been shit on, bullied, and belittled their entire lives. Society, and women, have deemed them unworthy of love, attention, and sex. Honestly I don't blame them for lashing out. Who wouldn't?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/24 02:16 AM
10

You are absolutely allowed to record, she's allowed to ask you to stop. (but you don't have to)
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 07:17 PM
1

Her temper was out of control, and I couldn't take it anymore, and had to protect our kid from it. I was stupidly willing to tolerate way too much for too long. I'm so glad I didn't wait longer. The factors that made it easier was self preparation, therapy, gym, and a sound legal strategy.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 07:10 PM
2

I'm far happier than I've been in many, many years. So worth it. 50+M, 20 years married. I didn't lose half though, thankfully my ex makes as much as I do.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 03:26 PM
3

Don't move out until you have 50/50 custody signed in writing approved by YOUR lawyer. She can still screw you. But to your question, we just didn't say anything about it online. People found out slowly and more deliberately.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 02:21 PM
10

It's wonderful. And when you don't have your kids, you can do whatever you want!!
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 07:37 PM
0

So I can't trust someone emotionally without having my financial future be determined by them?
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 03:15 PM
0

"Trust by verify". I wouldn't trust anyone with my financial future. No one should. But emotionally, etc? Sure.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 12:19 PM
3

Get a bunch of cheap Wyze cameras and put them everywhere. They record to SD card as well as to the cloud directly for cheap. A friend nearby hanging around can also be helpful both as a witness and for your own mental well-being. It's nice to have someone in your corner. Police are also an option if you are really worried. They do this all the time. I think they call it a civil standby or something.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 01:16 PM
3

Social psychologists mislead experimental subjects ALL THE TIME. It's standard procedure to prevent bias. They're not supposed to know what they are measuring. The results here are totally valid.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/24 12:48 PM
18

Look, I feel for you brothers, but you guys are fucking nuts. They're just women, flawed and imperfect and fun like the rest of us. Just don't subject yourself to a losing legal game (marriage) but go find someone that makes you happy. Lots of great women out there. Enjoy yourself. But put yourself first.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 01:12 AM
5

I can't make that choice for you, brother.
/r/MensRights27/06/24 06:20 PM
3

I don't know your culture, but I'd say the same thing. Go gradually and see.
/r/MensRights27/06/24 05:56 PM
13

You'll have to go carefully and gradually, over a long period of time. Maybe add just a little bit of "flair" at a time and see how people around you handle it. But plenty of men wear all kinds of fashion that's not necessarily feminine, including makeup, nails, etc. Reminds me of the whole "metrosexual" thing.
/r/MensRights27/06/24 05:18 PM
2

Remember this isn't just "a" prenuptial agreement. It's "her" prenuptial agreement.
/r/MensRights27/06/24 03:49 PM
1

I'm only looking for the most plausible scenario that's logically consistent. All the information we have is 1) estimates of their respective net worth, and 2) some off-handed comments she made to a tabloid gossip rag. I think item 1 is a lot more reliable. And her prenup could very easily have been completely unfair to him (i.e. big cashout for her). The abuse example is silly. She'd just leave.
/r/MensRights27/06/24 03:02 PM
9

Yeah but it's pretty strange, he's undoubtedly worth far more than she is and is much more vulnerable. My guess is that her prenup was horribly one-sided and he laughed at it.
/r/MensRights27/06/24 02:24 PM
5

Exactly right. Do not give up, OP. Get a good lawyer!
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 02:18 PM
19

Even if you get 50/50 custody, which is the MINIMUM you should get, she will be paying you a lot of child support, and you will be splitting all assets and debts. You must have a lawyer on your side. She will be paying you a LOT.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 01:27 PM
2

I'm divorced about two years ago and am happier than I've been in years. I won't marry again but I have a fabulous girlfriend I adore. I dated dozens of wonderful women in the last year or two. I have my kid half the time and make the most of it. It's wonderful. It seems like you two can be great coparents. The kid will be fine. It's adjustment but it's so common these days. Financially, sure, supporting two households is harder but it's probably workable. You have to decide if future love and i…
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 03:52 PM
4

This exactly. Talk to a lawyer immediately. It's over. Not only will CS be lower, she could very well be paying you! Fight for 50/50 at least.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 12:37 PM
2

Why do you think I was talking about what happens after one date?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/24 12:37 AM
3

You still don't understand at all. You're getting this completely wrong. You even said that OP cares about it. Which he should. But then you maliciously twist that into "that's ALL he cares about".
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 06:08 PM
5

Nope. Some might though. If they are desperate enough. Or, more likely, they realize they are being treated horribly and leave. Or they are young and naive. Extremely few men boil it down to sex. When men correctly declare it's a necessary part of a relationship, women twist this to "that's all you care about", which is absolutely not accurate. Sadly a very common mistake.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 05:38 PM
6

Your premise is wrong. It's not the only thing, but it is a necessary thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 05:27 PM
3

This exactly.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 05:25 PM
21

Absolutely. But the guy would be right to move on.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 05:20 PM
10

If they are concealing their lack of libido, then yes, it absolutely is a malicious deception.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 05:10 PM
3

Of course not! Why do you think we feel this way? But if I don't feel desire from her in a reasonable time frame, I'm not going to continue the relationship. Why on earth would I be expected to?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 05:05 PM
11

We don't see sex as a reward, but as an important and integral part of a healthy relationship. Presenting it as a reward is exactly what manipulative women do. That you would demean men like that, and declare that our needs are invalid or somehow worthy of scorn, is pretty disgusting. It's clear that you do not have a healthy relationship with men if you think we feel this way.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 05:03 PM
5

Personally, I am not. But drawing that conclusion is just wrong. It only means that sex is important.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 02:40 PM
32

We don't think that all women can offer is sex, but she decides we are not worthy of sex, everything else is of little consequence. Sex is a necessary part of a healthy relationship for pretty much all men. To demean us by claiming it's therefore "all" we want is insultingly wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 02:01 PM
1

Exactly what the other poster said. She is now your adversary. Act accordingly.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/24 02:30 AM
5

This is the answer. But OP needs to first consult a lawyer and develop a strategy before tipping their hand. Very important!
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 02:21 PM
1

Why? You keep saying this but never justify it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 02:20 PM
1

You are neglecting child support entirely, and pretending it doesn't exist. It always does.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 02:19 PM
1

I disagree with everything you wrote. It's important to know if you are compatible with someone before you make such a dire commitment to them. Live together, make sure your lifestyles mesh! This is extremely important. Eviction restrictions apply to everyone. This is a nonissue. Being a spouse does not materially affect this. But if one spouse is making 200K and the other 0-70k, then yes the fact that, if they were unmarried, the lower earning spouse would get nothing is quite unfair. Why is th…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 02:18 PM
3

This. OP you need to talk to a lawyer immediately and build a strategy. Install cameras everywhere.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 12:02 PM
3

This exactly. It's a strawman.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 06:07 PM
3

You're just picking and choosing some of the more extreme idiots, which exist no matter what their pill color is. You can't draw conclusions about a group based on the behavior of a couple of extremists.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 05:01 PM
0

None of that is true at all. I don't know where you are getting such a skewed perception. (well yeah, I do. It's mostly from blue-pillers and people who hate that men put themselves first.)
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 02:28 PM
10

Eventually you will stop giving a crap about her, and her nonsense, and focus on yourself and your own happiness. There is no reasoning behind what she did.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 01:49 PM
7

This is a ridiculous take and is totally a wrong interpretation. Red pillers believe in living for themselves, and their own happiness, first. That they should not exist for the sake of women, and they should not sacrifice their own well being or happiness in order to please women. And that there are many women out there (not all!) that will take advantage of men, given the chance. But it's still the man's fault, because they let the women walk over them. (Exceptions - messing with birth control…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 01:46 PM
2

This is the answer!
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 08:50 PM
3

I love it. I'm a devoted dad half the time, and ensure it's quality time. That's most important. The other half of the time I'm having a blast with friends or ladies. It'll take a little time but you'll get there.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 05:45 PM
-4

It's high, but not absurd for someone who didn't settle into a LTR. But if that's the only issue and everything else is great as you say, you'd be a total fool for giving her up over it. Don't marry her though, regardless of body count.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 05:59 AM
2

Talk to a lawyer! That being said, if you have 50% custody, and she makes more, she'll be paying you. Th y can definitely subpoena phone and work records. Act accordingly.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 11:03 PM
13

Talk to a lawyer immediately and begin to build strategy. Very important. She's going to try to fleece you for your assets going into marriage as well as child support. Fight hard for 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/24 10:55 AM
8

I absolutely agree! I suspect my unhappily married friends are tempted, when they see how much fun I'm having now and how much happier I am.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 04:58 PM
3

Wow. That's straight up fraud and unjust enrichment. Get a good lawyer and clean her out.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 10:23 PM
2

And I doubt they'd consider him hot if he was not rich and famous.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/24 04:37 PM
7

It was a regular cruise. I didn't go to meet anyone or hook up or anything. I went for my own pleasure and adventure. I often dined with random people, made lots of friends, and was totally fine dining alone too. I wore my recent divorce proudly, and people celebrated me for it. I danced, drank, relaxed in hot tubs, read, and relaxed. I did whatever the hell I wanted to and it was absolutely perfect.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 01:53 AM
2

I'd recommend a cruise but that's more of a week thing. I did this after my divorce (alone) and had an amazing time. Consider it!
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 01:45 AM
4

Only because he is wealthy and famous.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/24 01:42 AM
8

Wow, her post history. So much hate.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/24 01:17 AM
2

I absolutely do. But I'm not a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 06:43 PM
3

They don't, usually. But yes they never should. If they got more compliments they would be less likely than read into it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 06:43 PM
0

I do it all the time. I do understand some of the challenge with women complimenting men, but it's just part of the overall problem. The imbalance is still there and it totally sucks for most guys. We need to normalize it more as a culture and women need to try harder.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 05:20 PM
8

Very true, but they need validation from women too. There is a gross imbalance here and in general, women are not helping.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 04:52 PM
26

Absolutely. I think men get a lot less validation though. Like, dramatically less.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 02:35 PM
1

If she makes more than you, and you have no kids, you're golden. Financially anyway. You'll get through it ok eventually, just you wait. Until then, listen to your lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 08:12 PM
3

Only in a few states, thankfully.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 08:54 AM
1

Nothing she said implies that. Sexual compatibility is required but is not the only thing required, for a good relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 08:54 AM
12

Just file and listen to your lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 09:23 PM
4

It's pretty fast for sure, but you know you. Just be careful.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 05:04 PM
2

Respect is very important. You two are doomed. Move on. If she has hit you, file a police report, keep your evidence, and file for divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 03:44 PM
1

Wrong. Double murder.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/24 02:14 PM
-1

Semantics. And many people legitimately disagree with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/24 02:09 PM
-1

"If she has the right to kill it, I should at least have the right to abandon it." - Chappelle, I think.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/24 01:45 PM
6

Because most mods have agendas. They will openly delete things that go against their agenda, and even ban you for it. It has nothing to do with the rules.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/24 12:44 PM
11

Don't get married. Its not complicated.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 02:37 PM
4

Gotta use both hands, baby!
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 02:31 PM
3

I did. I never found any toys that did it for me though. Proper lube, on the other hand, was huge.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 01:48 PM
5

She can want whatever she wants. I want a frigging pony. You don't have to give it to her of course. Talk to your lawyer. Get the agreement amended and enforce it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/24 03:56 PM
5

I can't speak for others, but it's a huge difference for me. Large frames, especially with muscle, beautiful.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 01:46 PM
9

The difference is that the mgtow guys only want to live their best lives and not sacrifice themselves for women. That's a far cry from declaring women are evil etc. It's a reaction to a society that demands men sacrifice their happiness and well-being for the sake of women. There is no converse.
/r/MensRights16/05/24 11:26 PM
4

Don't take the legal issues for granted. Nothing is known until it's all signed and done. Get a lawyer. Eventually you won't care about her and her happiness. And even better, you may recognize her happiness makes your life easier. Start preparing for the rest of your life. Therapy and gym. Now.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/24 11:22 PM
8

It's OK. You'll get there. It'll suck for a little bit but it will be OK eventually. And you'll see how wonderful it is out there. I went through the exact same thing. Took about a year. Now my life is gumdrops and rainbows. I say it a lot, but you need a lawyer immediately, very important. No matter what. Your own lawyer. Get therapy, and get to the gym. Your body and soul will benefit tremendously. As for her working more, let her! The more she makes and the more she can demonstrate making, th…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/24 10:29 PM
20

Yes you did. You even underlined it to support your assertion that MGOTW was anti-feminist and misogynist. It's not. Your whole premise is wrong. "a group that unquestionably spreads hate". It's absolutely false. Incredibly offensive of you.
/r/MensRights16/05/24 07:15 PM
18

Why do you consider wikipedia an authority on anything? They are dead wrong here. MGTOW is also fine. All it says is that men should live for themselves, rather than sacrificing themselves for a woman. Why on earth would that be controversial? Most of feminism doesn't want equality, you know. They want favoritism.
/r/MensRights16/05/24 07:04 PM
2

Ask your lawyer!
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/24 03:48 PM
4

Yes move back! It's as much your house as hers! You need to be able to prove you are at least a 50% parent.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/24 03:35 PM
1

Thanks. If she wants 50/50 you're all set. Do NOT leave your house and talk to a lawyer immediately though. She could fuck you on child support. You cannot trust her at all. You have to firmly hold to what you want and deserve. 50/50 custody, no/minimal child support, a fair split of assets.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/24 02:40 PM
8

Dude, buckle up and be ready to fight. Don't beat yourself up. I'm sure she contributed substantially to the breakup too. But it doesn't matter. You have your whole life ahead, and you'll be amazed at how nice it can be to be single again, and find your own happiness. Don't you dare roll over and give her everything. Get a lawyer, keep 50% custody and get 50/50 custody. That's standard these days. Do NOT settle for less.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/24 01:48 PM
14

There are tons of great ladies out there looking for good guys like you. When you're ready, you'll be fine. But I really don't understand the desire to be married again. Don't make the same mistake again. Find a lady you love, live together, have kids, whatever. There's no need for another marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/24 09:56 PM
2

Right, but you have to establish that immediately. If you leave your kids, it could be presumed that she is the primary parent or doing the majority of time. You need to establish very clearly that you are at least a 50% parent.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 11:42 AM
2

It makes a huge difference in child support.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 09:58 AM
3

Yes it will be used against you! Take the kid with you and talk to a lawyer immediately.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 01:58 AM
-1

Seems pretty sexist to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 01:16 PM
-5

I don't think you have any conception of what Red Pill actually means. You just like to hate.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 08:44 PM
-1

Plenty of awesome guys subscribe to what is often called the red pill philosophy. It's been unfairly maligned. There are good actors and sinister assholes in just about any group, including feminists.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 08:03 PM
-2

You're right! I have some positives: I adore being loved/appreciated I love cuddles Obviously sex is awesome with a partner that truly desires you I love their curves, soft skin, all the feminine beauty. Aside from that, I don't see a whole lot of differences in ability, or what they can give to the world that men can't (and vice versa). They're people with a huge range of talent and skills, just like men. I guess they can carry babies. LOL
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 08:00 PM
1

It's true that there are zero benefits for men being married, and a huge downside. Smart men don't get married. But it's certainly possible to have a good, successful LTR and not be married. This is sadly not culturally acceptable as widely as it should be. Thus, hookup culture is magnified. So I mostly agree with you but I think you're missing the part about having LTR without marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 07:56 PM
3

The biggest red flag is the inequity of the legal system and huge bias against fathers/men. I definitely will not get married again, and I advice all men to not do so until the legal situation changes.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 05:26 PM
5

Talk to a lawyer immediately and strategize carefully, and quietly. You'll have to make your move soon. Life is too short to tolerate a shitty relationship. There is NO reason you cannot get 50% custody and be totally active in your kids' lives. DO NOT move out or relinquish the house without a lawyer's guidance. Be a top dad.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 04:28 PM
7

You don't have to go along with situations that make it WAY more likely they cheat though.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 05:35 PM
28

It's understandable for us to be annoyed by it. What if they decided they'd rather run into a bear over a black person, because of their fear? There's no difference at all. The answer indicates that their misandry is dominating widely over their reasoning skill and all logic.
/r/MensRights02/05/24 03:25 PM
2

Good. You got this. See if you can set up some hidden cameras without the wife finding out. Just so she can't claim abuse or any other nonsense. Just in conventional public places of the house. Where most people would. Audio too. Or if you think you can get them put in totally openly without raising suspicion, maybe that's okay too. Make sure that you control all of the recordings, and have them immediately go to the cloud.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 12:37 PM
2

If you can prove with very good documentation that you are the primary or sole parent you can do much better than 50/50. And if she makes much more than you, and you were probably a stay-at-home dad, she will owe you substantial child support. You are in a very good position here. Do not back down and proceed very carefully with the lawyer's advice.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 12:17 PM
2

Even if he's not on the lease he's still a tenant. And still has a right to stay. He would need to be evicted.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 12:15 PM
2

It's as much your house as it is hers. Since you are the primary parent, it makes more sense for continuity for you to stay there and her to move out. Don't wuss out on this.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 12:14 PM
4

Your first move is always to talk to a lawyer. Privately. Make sure she can't see the bills or the payments. Then you build a strategy with the lawyer. If you were a sahd, you'll probably be entitled to substantial child support, alimony, and a payday. Definitely half of the marital assets. But no matter what, DO NOT LEAVE WITHOUT THE KID. You need to continue to be the primary parent. Also log all of the time you spend being a parent, especially alone. Security cameras everywhere possible, if f…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 10:38 AM
3

Fantastic. I'll only add, go to the gym. A lot. It's great for your body, and your soul. Also a good potential social outlet.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/24 03:45 PM
2

High five, brother! I'm having a similar experience.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/24 04:18 PM
4

Who is this red pill authority you speak of? All nonsense.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 12:22 AM
98

Never. If it's even to be considered, your wife must make as much money as you, preferably more, and you need to be sure that you are an equal parent. The laws are biased against men primarily because they're biased against the breadwinner in a family.
/r/MensRights06/04/24 02:56 PM
3

I had her served with papers. She didn't see it coming, but she should have. (was obvious)
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 05:31 PM
18

It's the fucking best. I finally have the freedom to pursue my own happiness. I have my kid half the time, and the other time I am primarily having wild sex with a beautiful woman I adore. This is after a year or so of running around with lots of different ladies. Divorce is highly recommended.
/r/askMRP02/04/24 08:17 PM
3

I think the opposite is equally likely. Those who have sour and bitter views may seek out small parts of the RP outlook to justify themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/24 11:43 AM
4

Not really. There are always fringe people but people overwhelmingly celebrate women as being "empowered" and "independent" and all.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/24 09:36 AM
0

The question included a rather broad assumption that was totally wrong. "Is it possible to be both Irish and sober?" How does that sound to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/24 09:03 PM
9

So can you be red pill and not be a misogynist? You are stating that the default for any RP man is as a misogynist, and are asking if it's possible to deviate from this default. That's just the wrong mindset. "Is it possible to be a man that is also a nice person" is kind of the equivalent assumption. Silly, isn't it? There are plenty of RP assholes out there. There are also plenty of blue, purple, pink and whatever other color pilled assholes out there. They do not necessarily correlate.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/24 08:53 PM
16

Why do you assume you cannot be a red pill without being a misogynist? You mention one friend of yours, who happens to be an asshole and a RP. So you assume all RP has to be assholes? I know plenty of blue-pillers or purples who are also assholes. Selection/confirmation bias here.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/24 07:43 PM
7

They also (often) get upset when men put themselves first instead of living for the sake of women. Sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/24 06:23 PM
25

That's not what RP says, or "teaches" at all. There is no hatred rhetoric about women. Just some simple facts and observations that aren't hateful at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/24 04:16 PM
4

I don't agree with the premise. It's of course possible, and often wonderful, to be friends with someone you are attracted to. One of the tenets of RP is that women shouldn't be thought of as a scarcity. If she's not into you, who cares? Find someone else. If you are in control of your desires, and confident, hanging out with someone you find attractive is no issue whatsoever. If your life is enhanced with her being part of it, she should be your friend. Plus, she may introduce you to her friend…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/24 02:05 PM
4

I hate them but they are necessary much of the time. Pregnancy and sti are no joke. Avoiding them is a good incentive for a monogamous relationship. I've had the snip. Thankfully I can safely go without with my current partner.
/r/MensRights31/03/24 08:26 AM
9

It's a scam. Pure and simple. All you do now is block their number. Possibly report the scam to the police.
/r/MensRights31/03/24 01:09 AM
4

It's probably rare enough to not worry about at all. The videos are almost certainly fake/staged.
/r/MensRights27/03/24 04:26 PM
1

Live your best life, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 02:12 PM
3

Good luck. But don't leave her any more than she legally deserves. Talk to a lawyer before you do anything. You'll deeply regret it otherwise.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 07:14 PM
27

> Feminists only want equal rights for women and men. This is unequivocally false. *Some* people calling themselves feminists want equal rights, I'm of course fine with that. Many, many (perhaps most) definitely do not. They want favoritism.
/r/MensRights25/03/24 07:11 PM
6

Even without the drinking, if you just felt like roommates, I'd also be considering divorce. Talk to her about it all first, of course. Maybe you'll be one of the lucky ones. But probably not.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 06:53 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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