Spousal Support

No_Pace2396 · 2024-09-11T16:47:57+00:00

You don’t explain anything. The way divorce and lawyers work is you get all you can—not what is fair, not what you are entitled to (if there is a thing). If you start in the middle by giving up, then that’s where the negotiations start. It makes no sense, but you start with extreme positions and move toward fair. You don’t tell ur ex a fucking thing, but tell ur lawyer what you will accept and what is fair (and fire the fucktard the first time he doesn’t listen to you). It’s stupid, inefficient, and makes no sense to men, but this is how it works. You are in mommas court, not in the objective rational system you think you are in.

Saved2Play · 2024-09-11T16:25:05+00:00

You’re getting destroyed in this negotiation. You are entitled to half of everything that’s a community asset. You have to get spousal support and half of the 401(k). Don’t rush a divorce for expediency.

TheNattyJew · 2024-09-11T03:08:40+00:00

Why would you deny money that is owed to you? I really don't understand

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2024-09-11T01:45:28+00:00

Stop talking to her. Do not make a deal with her. Get a lawyer and get what you’re entitled to.

AirSailer · 2024-09-11T01:19:14+00:00

i told her i don't want alimony or her 401k which i am entitled to half.

It's absolutely amazing how many men post on here about how they don't want what they are entitled to... If you think she wouldn't demand the same from you if the situation were reversed then you're a fool. Not standing up for yourself in this way is a sanctimonious act and you'll gain absolutely nothing from it other than proving yourself a fool.

NC_Gato · 2024-09-10T22:48:52+00:00

Yes, get a lawyer. Don't say word or negotiate anything. Let them do all the work through a mediator.

soontobesolo · 2024-09-10T21:56:36+00:00

Don't be a sucker. You'll really regret it. Get a lawyer.

Cross_22 · 2024-09-10T21:47:33+00:00

a) Shut up and get an attorney to do the talking for you.

b) Keep a written record of what you do for the kids with times / dates / activities.

The attorney can then tell you what you are entitled to, whether the courts in your area might be stacked against you, and negotiate a suitable offer letter with your input.

TenuousOgre · 2024-09-10T20:21:12+00:00

Hire an attorney that does divorce for the primary practice with at least a decade of experience. Let him help you figure out what's just. And negotiate it.

FUMoney · 2024-09-10T20:00:27+00:00

i told her i don't want alimony or her 401k which i am entitled to half.

This is really, really going to matter in ten, twenty years if there are appreciable assets in the retirement account, or you are entitled to support payments. Dumbest decision you could make. DUMB.

RevolutionaryLaw8854 · 2024-09-10T19:51:44+00:00

Don’t be a fool. Follow the law and legal precedent. Because if the tables were turned, that’s exactly what she would do to you.

Stop the white knight shit

Reflog1791 · 2024-09-10T18:53:37+00:00

Your negotiating skills are bad. Hire a lawyer to do this.

Practical-Island-436 · 2024-09-10T18:47:24+00:00

Hire a lawyer and get as much as you can

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2024-09-10T17:38:00+00:00

how do i explain to her why i should get more than half of the house value?

If you have a lawyer have them do it. Anything you say will be deemed BS and anything you ask for, personally, will be treated as an affront to her.

You're going to need the totals of

Home equity - 1/2 is yours
401k equity (amount gained over marriage) - 1/2 is yours
amount of any other investments - 1/2 is yours
amount of any other DEBTS - 1/2 is yours
Estimated spousal support - amount is yours

Run the numbers - if the support+1/2 the 401k+others= her equity you could just forgo them and take the house. if its MORE than her equity she might agree. Less, you might have to pay her something

Your attorney can say my client is willing to forgo splitting the 401k, and not asking for support, if your clinet would sign the home over to them.

TXJohn83 · 2024-09-10T17:33:28+00:00

Ask for what is yours, settle for what you really want.

0neMinute · 2024-09-10T17:30:39+00:00

If she is making things difficult then go for half of everything, i know your a man etc but she wouldn’t run twice if roles where reversed.

pk2at · 2024-09-10T17:28:12+00:00

You can't explain, just ask for more, also ask for 401K and alimony. Family courts are outright feminist, so expect to get less than what you ask for

Title	Spousal Support
Author	gabbygourmet
Upvotes	4
Comments	20
Date	September 10, 2024 5:21 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1fdnexb/spousal_support/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/spousal-support.1530147 https://theredarchive.com/post/1530147

Comments