I think I’m too picky/ hypocritical

TheoryRemarkable66 · 2024-09-10T17:43:38+00:00

Stay off of Facebook dating dude

You do not want a woman on Facebook, at all.

Women and Facebook is a FAILING COMBINATION

All of our goals should be to find a woman who has zero to fucking do on Facebook or keeps it to a complete minimum

techrmd3 · 2024-09-10T17:37:47+00:00

nope you are sane

A woman without kids may very well want you to be sperm donor
A woman with kids may want you to be daddy
A woman without kids and can't have kids may be crazy cat lady

I wonder how many women going full speed for divorce considered this outcome in their decision?

Yeah... probably none

Comfortable-Angle660 · 2024-09-10T16:29:36+00:00

Personally, I would never date a woman that prioritized work over her family, because when push comes to shove, she will ditch if her “lifestyle” is even remotely threatened.

AffectionateAd6060 · 2024-09-10T16:23:46+00:00

To old without kids but still "wants kids" is a red flag. It is a tough situation too because I actually find it much easier to connect w women that do have children but also I despise them because likely they broke up their family for new hotdogs.

HereinPA1 · 2024-09-10T16:11:50+00:00

I’m 53 and would prefer to meet a woman without kids. I think it’s because I don’t come from a broken home and I just can’t grasp being in the life of another man’s children.

My ex on the other hand? Her Mom went through 2 divorces and her last step Dad basically raised her. I guess it’s no surprise that she immediately started dating a guy who had a 10 year old. Step families are the norm for her.

Mine are older, 17 & 19, so the raising of younger kids is done. I get I may be hypocritical/selfish in that I have kids and prefer someone to not have them, but it would be at least a year before anyone met them and they’d both be out of the house at college for most of the year anyway if/when I start to date.

TXJohn83 · 2024-09-10T14:57:56+00:00

Older girls without kids don't even hit me as a yellow flag, and let me give you the break down I have seen over time:

They can't physically have them.
They have been to focused on their jobs.
They don't like kids(and even those girls are happy to play step mom most of the time).

Decon_SaintJohn · 2024-09-10T14:53:46+00:00

Don't assume a woman who doesn't have kids, wanted it that way. They could have had some type of issue with their reproductive organs that affected their ability to have them. You may be missing out on a wonderful woman.

Bretweir_jerky · 2024-09-10T14:29:41+00:00

After a divorce it is your DUTY to be picky and prefer being alone. If you don’t learn your lesson you’re doomed to repeat it

AvacodoCartwheeler · 2024-09-10T14:20:07+00:00

Ha, I also steer away from no kids for the same reason + if they have no kids by our age they probably don't want kids, and I have two of them.

I have no clue how to integrate two families, and in truth, I don't know if I ever want to.

celticmoose · 2024-09-10T14:19:10+00:00

As someone who never had dating apps back when I was single before I got married, I certainly find it easy to be picky. It’s too easy just to swipe someone away because is the tiniest thing. And so many tattoos! Not my cup of tea.

I’m being picky right now but I also don’t care if I’m single so that’s a pretty big difference between me now and late 20s single me who had gone years without much luck.

I hear you on the hypocritical part. I’d really prefer to date someone without kids, which is a tall ask when I myself have two. But I haven’t concerned myself with the why of someone in their 30s not having kids.

myrstica · 2024-09-10T14:08:53+00:00

I mean, if you think about your own situation from the outside, divorced, 50% custody, etc. You bring a fair amount of baggage as well. Women get divorced for legitimate reasons, just like men do. They aren't all cheating on their spouses and f*cking them over for a paycheck. I get not wanting to raise someone else's kids, but if she's a good parent, you won't even meet her kids for months, at least.

Also, I'm confused why you would think something was wrong with a childless woman of a certain age. There are tons of totally legitimate reasons someone may not have had children.

Really, for me anyway, the dichotomy is this: if she has kids, then she's more likely to be good with kids, and probably more understanding about the obligations and priorities of parenthood. If she doesn't have kids, her schedule is likely to be more flexible, but she may not be as comfortable around kids for long periods of time.

Really, whether someone has kids or not has very little bearing on what kind of person they are. Why not send a message and get a feel for someone, even if they don't fit your impossible ideal. Sending a message is not proposing marriage. Worst case: you don't vibe with them, and you both move on.

Pro-IDGAF · 2024-09-10T13:16:54+00:00

me (57m) hooked back up with a woman i dated in college, i broke up her bc i was young and restless BUT she had been married at 18-19 for 2-3 years to an army dude.

she never remarried and never had kids along the way but did have a hysterectomy in mid-life, 40’s i think. just not the motherly type i guess but she is the best woman for me now. same goals, likes, habits. didnt bother me one bit.

NoComment2995 · 2024-09-10T13:07:14+00:00

I have the same cognitive dissonance on dating apps.

Kids, ugh. No kids? Something is wrong with you. How do you not have kids by 35?

Idk what to do.

Bernie51Williams · 2024-09-10T12:56:11+00:00

If she has kids she destroyed another man for the excitement of getting her face jizzed on.

They're disgusting.

Positive_Rub_6696 · 2024-09-10T12:55:53+00:00

I’m currently dating a woman (38) who early on made a conscious decision she never wanted children and actively took measures to not have children. She also does not have any tattoos and no piercings besides single piercings on her earlobes. Incredibly rare 🦄

Miserable_Ad_1172 · 2024-09-10T12:41:55+00:00

There will be a lot who couldn’t have children or prioritised work. Learn what are your red flags. It’s hard and there’s also nothing wrong with being alone

Title	I think I’m too picky/ hypocritical
Author	DudeforRighteousness
Upvotes	7
Comments	38
Date	September 10, 2024 12:00 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1fdg3ii/i_think_im_too_picky_hypocritical/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/i-think-im-too-picky-hypocritical.1530149 https://theredarchive.com/post/1530149

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