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17throwaway-scorpio Archive

View 17 posts and 267 comments by 17throwaway-scorpio on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
84

17throwaway-scorpio/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 08:22 PM
45

17throwaway-scorpio/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 06:37 AM
36

17throwaway-scorpio/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 08:24 PM
25

17throwaway-scorpio/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 03:47 AM
23

17throwaway-scorpio/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 04:45 AM
20

17throwaway-scorpio/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 05:24 AM
16

17throwaway-scorpio/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 06:13 AM
16

17throwaway-scorpio/r/Divorce_Men29/03/24 02:08 AM
16

17throwaway-scorpio/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 04:30 AM
14

17throwaway-scorpio/r/Divorce_Men13/10/23 07:04 PM
14

17throwaway-scorpio/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 04:13 AM
7

17throwaway-scorpio/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 06:00 AM
7

17throwaway-scorpio/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 07:04 PM
4

17throwaway-scorpio/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 05:21 AM
3

17throwaway-scorpio/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 09:53 PM
2

17throwaway-scorpio/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 07:15 PM
2

17throwaway-scorpio/r/Divorce_Men04/01/23 03:53 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

It's added pressure when you have kids. I do agreed that every relationship is a partnership. Both gotta show up and help out. It may not be 50/50 at times, but you gotta put in some effort. My ex had a demanding job, so I took over most of the house work. But what gets to me is when she just lays around during her free time and not lift a finger to clean something simple. It isn't until something gets filthy enough for her to notice. I will never get involved with a slob again. Ever since she m…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/25 07:20 AM
3

Congratulation brother! Welcome to the other side! Seems like you were in a very ideal situation when it came to divorce. Usually, it's the children and attorneys that cause a big strain in the divorce process. I don't see that here at all. My situation was similar, but we were only married for 5 years. No kids. No mortgage. Simple process. It wasn't all rainbows and butterflies, but I wouldn't trade it for anything else. The freedom and peace that comes after is truly amazing. Remind yourself t…
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 08:25 PM
1

I agreed. I would hate to be in OP's position. Luckily, my ex and I didn't have any kids. Made divorce a lot easier than most.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 04:30 AM
3

When you're done, you're done. My ex and I didn't want to try anymore. We were on completely different pages. I realized that I kept holding on for false hope and she did the same as well. There was no hope. Thankfully, we both were mature enough to see that and follow through with the divorce smoothly. In your case, the kids seem to be her priority. I understand not wanting to cohabitate just for the kids. You deserve your freedom and space away from your stbxw. You deserve to explore your path…
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 04:49 AM
5

Yup. Anyone who brings joy to your life deserves to be in your life. Friends included.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/24 03:18 AM
2

Sorry to hear! That freaking sucks! I would hope she elaborates more about what the podcast indicated that she made an association with. Why couldn't she do it face-to-face? Something else seems wrong like she's hiding something greater. Anyway, it might be a blessing in disguise. I hope you have support IRL.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 11:25 PM
3

I'm not compromising anything. If she fits into my lifestyle then great. If not, then I'll keep on looking.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 11:18 PM
2

Wow! Good on you for continuing to live your best life despite how much your ex has taken from you. I wouldn't have handled the situation that well. Your conduct is admirable.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 11:17 PM
1

That is growth, my friend. Congrats on achieving this level of unbotherness.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 10:54 PM
1

Yes, much better. My ex was very messy as a person. Leaving her stuff all over the place. Now, the place is cleaner and more organized. I have a roommate who also cleans up after themselves as well.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 10:53 PM
1

Good. Keep doing what you're doing.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 10:36 PM
12

The fact that she had the audacity to invite you back to her place after telling you about her dating life is quite distasteful. Don't give this woman any more of your time. She's realizing how powerless she has become. She can't control or have any effects on you anymore. Once she notices that you have moved on with a much better woman, that's going to drive her fucking crazy. I just know it. Good on you and your progress. My timeline is similar to yours and I don't even want the opportunity to…
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 03:56 AM
1

Don't get me wrong. I love sex, but it gotta be with someone I truly care about.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 05:33 AM
15

I agreed. I'm not broke from the divorce, but broke in general. I am in no shape to be dating anyone right now.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/23 05:40 PM
5

My brother told me to enter my hoe phase while my sister told me to wait at least a year. Knowing myself, the latter will benefit me more in the long run. Empty sex will only make me hate myself even more. That's just me. Do what you please. Lol
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/23 05:33 PM
1

I do overthink way too much sometimes. What's your story?
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 05:33 AM
1

That's pretty short compared to CA. But I get the frustration. The court always move at a snail pace, sometimes. It's annoying.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 10:14 PM
1

Oh. lol I don't see anything wrong with someone wanting to treat their partners well.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 07:58 PM
1

I only had to wait 6 months according to CA law. It seemed pretty long and slow at first. If you keep busy, then it'll arrive faster than you know it. I'm glad you've at least moved out and away from her. I had to cohabitate with my ex for 9 months until the lease ended due to finances.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 07:48 PM
4

Damn, my ex-wife refused to go to couples therapy nor tried any other methods to fix our relationship. She didn't see a problem, because she always thought she was right. Thanks! I'm glad, we're both out now. I will be avoiding women who are similar to her. I cannot stand them.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 05:16 PM
1

Yeah, I didn't feel respected in the relationship either. I always felt like she always had the final say in everything. Can you elaborate more on the bbq part?
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 04:57 PM
3

You are right. My siblings told me the same thing. Growing up, I became a people pleaser. That is something I'm currently working on right now. Before I date again, I want to get some therapy to work through past relationship issues first. Thank you for your input!
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 04:55 PM
1

We had no kids. She didn't want any. So divorce was easier than most folks. I cannot fathom the thought of having a child with a woman that I didn't truly love.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 04:50 PM
3

Yes, they have been in the anger stage for a really long time. She never wanted any closure. She didn't want to know why and how things went wrong. It was a typical trait of hers to not listen when she didn't want to. She still hated me even when she was seeing someone else. At least, I'm at peace now with my divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 04:48 PM
1

Yes, I did. Her ego had a big part in destroying the marriage. I don't wish to interact with her in the future or anyone like her.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 04:44 PM
3

Knowing how crazy superstitious she was. I was unfazed at that point.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 04:41 PM
3

Yup. I never wish anything ill on my ex-wife. I hope she finds the love and happiness that she's looking for.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 04:41 PM
2

Yeah, she was my first real relationship and I didn't really know how to navigate a healthy relationship either. I'll definitely be more careful going into the next relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 04:32 AM
2

I can see some similarities. My ex and I shared a deep trauma experience and it instantly created an inseparable bond. She was about 4 years older than me. She was kind of obsessed with me before meeting me. She would watch me through a window when we were in college. She definitely liked me more than I liked her. I started to lose attraction to her after a year, but dumbass me kept wanting to make things work. And it came to bite me in the ass. Yeah, it's the companionship. Every time I look ba…
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 04:30 AM
1

Yeah, dependency can often blind you into thinking you love them. We both were highly dependent on one another. I'm just happy to not be legally tied to her anymore. I don't have to worry about her anymore. She was such a negative force to have around. So glad, she's gone now.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 04:15 AM
2

Yes, she is. She was more experienced and knew more things.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 04:13 AM
13

I wouldn't get back with her. Sounds like the grass wasn't greener on the other side and now she wants to try again with you. You are the backup plan. Even if you reconcile with her again, it'll be incredibly hard to move past the thought of another man being inside your wife. You might find yourself throwing it back at her face when there's an argument. If you can't look past that, then you shouldn't get back with her.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/23 09:06 PM
3

You hit the nail on the head. It was very lust-driven. I'm still questioning, what is love?
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/23 08:54 PM
1

Yeah, that's still pretty new. I'm glad that you are making small progress. You got this page to lean to and such, if you don't have good support irl.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/23 05:09 PM
1

I see. Glad to hear she moved out quickly. Hopefully, the divorce finalized sooner than later.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/23 03:59 AM
1

I'm glad you got your vitality back. How long have you been divorced?
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/23 02:41 AM
1

Sorry to hear. I didn't even think of that option. I think it's because I got over my ex while still married. I hope you have support irl. No one should go through divorce alone. How long has it been?
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/23 01:07 AM
1

A house is a big deal, I can see why you're still salty about it. Have you brought your own home since then?
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/23 12:45 AM
1

Sorry to hear about that, man. I can't imagine most of the finances that I work so hard for. Thankfully, I'm part of the low percentage of men who didn't have to spend a lot of money on divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/23 12:42 AM
5

Mine was less than $500. We split the filing fee ad that was it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/23 03:40 PM
2

Sorry to hear. Sounds like a fresh wound. Seems like you're really start afresh. It takes time to heal. Do whatever you have to do for your mental health. She's not the same person that you miss anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/23 05:08 AM
1

I feel you, man. It's been about 9 months for me going on 10. I haven't even touched dating apps or tried to court anyone in real life. I don't do hookups or escorts either. The thought of having a relationship is too much for me to handle right now. It does get lonely sometimes, but I'm managing well. I figured I could still have a social life and be around other people instead of being in a relationship. And you will get stronger as long as you work on yourself. That's what I'm doing right now…
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 09:30 PM
1

It was a mutual decision after I told her that I felt differently. Did I get to elaborate on my reasoning? Nope. She wouldn't hear it. She just wanted out.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/23 10:09 PM
1

Sorry to hear. It sucks when you both share friends and they have to choose sides. This is why I like having my own friends away from my relationships. I don't mix the two, ever. I meet and hang out with my friends separately.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/23 09:02 PM
1

I appreciate it, man! Do you have friends you still keep in contact with?
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/23 02:30 AM
1

I'm glad you've been doing a lot better throughout those years. Not anytime soon due to my finances. I'll probably look into it some other time. Thanks for the recommendations though.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 11:20 PM
1

Oh. That sounds irresponsible on her part. Good on you for caring for them. I wouldn't have been able to do that if my ex did that to me.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 11:17 PM
2

Nice! Gaming systems are great! I have a Switch, but I don't do much gaming due to the limited time I have during the day. I do love watching gameplay though. How long have you been divorced?
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 07:24 PM
1

Oh, you both shared the pets? That's something I fear if I'm adopting with a future partner. I think pets can definitely keep you company and boost your mood. I'm doing fine with no pets right now. I don't have to worry about feeding or taking care of another living being, so that's also freedom.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 07:23 PM
1

When you're married to the wrong woman, you're lonelier than ever. Dealing with loneliness as a single man is easier. lol Funny, marriage was my ex's idea. I was still young and naive. I didn't want to lose her, so I agreed to marry her. We moved so fast that I didn't even have time to process things. And then 2 years in, I realized that I couldn't love her anymore. There was no cheating or abuse. We were incompatible and had our own internal issues to work through. Sorry to hear that, at least …
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/23 05:25 PM
2

Nice! Everyone keeps telling me to get a pet, but I just don't have the time or money at the moment. I did get a new roommate, so it's better than living with my ex. At least I have someone to keep me company.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/23 05:18 PM
3

We deserve the peace and quiet. Walking in full nudity in the comfort of your home is true freedom. lol
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/23 12:39 AM
2

Yeah, going to bed alone can be tough sometimes. But I'm learning to cope with it. I won't get with anyone just for the sake of having someone. Screw that. Relationships are a lot of work and I'm drained. I'm glad you found something that works for you. How long has it been since you divorced?
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/23 12:27 AM
5

My ex-wife just moved out last week and I cleaned up my whole place. The place never looks so clean and peaceful! Good riddance! I like being single more than being married. Of course, I still struggle with loneliness from time to time. But I have no regrets. Looking forward to better things!
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 07:54 PM
1

Yup! I'll probably have a ceremony, but I will never get married legally on paper...ever.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/23 07:27 PM
1

Yeah. How have you been coping with the divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 05:50 PM
1

Yeah, I can relate to not having any furniture. lol Hopeful is the keyword here. Glad everything worked out great. I'm slowly getting there.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 05:49 PM
2

Thank you! Damn, she really cleaned out the place. My ex left a few useful things behind at least. lol
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 10:40 PM
1

Thank you! Yeah, it's one of those nostalgic feelings again. Envy me? You already made it out! lol
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 10:39 PM
2

Damn! That's tough! Glad you made it out! The only annoying things I dealt with were my ex bringing her new lover overnight and her untidyness.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 10:37 PM
3

Damn! That's tough! Glad you made it out! Yeah, good sleep is definitely one of the perks of separation. lol The only annoying things I dealt with were my ex bringing her new lover overnight and her untidyness.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 10:37 PM
6

It's never easy and I don't recommend living with an ex. Thank goodness, I survived! Kudos to you for making it through when you did. Thank you! It should be all positive from here on out.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 05:53 AM
5

Thank you! That's the plan. I am so done with relationships for now.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 05:51 AM
2

I thought OP wanted our (divorced men) opinion on how to understand why OP's ex doesn't want to remarry again... Boy, was I wrong. lol OP, it's not that he thinks he doesn't deserve a second chance at a happy life. He CAN have a happy life without marriage. People can still be in healthy loving long-term relationships without getting married. Marriage doesn't always equate to happiness. I seen cheating and mistreatment in marriages all the time. But hey, at least they're married right?? The iron…
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 05:12 PM
2

Bruh...lol
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 05:03 PM
2

Thank you! It took a lot of time and patience to get to this point.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 04:55 PM
2

LMFAO!
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/23 06:46 PM
1

Same here! There's no way in hell, I would move in with my next girl.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/23 05:24 PM
1

Wow, pretty similar to my list of things. Also reasonable.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/23 05:22 PM
1

Wow, this is amazing! Congrats on sealing a great gal who respected your rule! I plan to do something similar as well. The right gal would be understanding and patient. That rule definitely filters out the wrong women. And I definitely need something like that as well. I'm still in my late 20s and can fall prey to physically attractive women. Honestly, the whole reason why my recent marriage was a mess was that I was thinking with my "other head". And that blinded me to so many things. I know it…
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/23 05:21 PM
2

LMFAO!
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/23 05:12 PM
3

I would never EVER get back with my ex. Divorce changes people and I have seen the worst of her. I'm disgusted. Thankfully, I was never really physically attracted to her from the start, so I can't relate. You gotta make a list of the cons and constantly read it to remind yourself. That's what I do when I'm physically attracted to someone who may not be a good partner.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 06:47 PM
1

I was married for 5 years too. Glad you got out of it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 06:27 PM
2

How long were you married?
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 11:45 PM
2

Thanks man! I appreciate it!
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 02:27 AM
2

Yup. I admit that I had an easier time moving on than she did.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 12:58 AM
3

Thanks, man!
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 12:55 AM
2

How long were you married?
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 12:54 AM
3

I agree with those statements. Right now, I'm in the middle of trying to find a job first. Then rebuild my finances and then I'll start working on my health/fitness.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 12:54 AM
3

Well, I'm glad you guys kept it amicable for the kids. Pretty recent, then. Right in time for the holidays.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 12:53 AM
3

Oh I see. I got married young as well and didn't really think it through. Yeah, I hate controlling parents too. Parents who won't let their kids grow up. My mom is the same way, still treating me like a child. I hate it. Glad you got out. Is your divorce finalized already? My divorce was finalized in July, but my ex will be moving out later this month after the lease ends.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 06:42 PM
2

Yeah, it's an oxymoron. I'm glad I'm done with her.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 06:31 PM
3

Yeah, I would have an issue with that as well. 19 years is still a pretty long time, but I'm glad you're out of it. Yeah, it'll be too late on her end by then.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 06:20 PM
9

Yeah, it's an oxymoron. Guess, she didn't love me enough to respect me. I'm never putting myself through that again.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 06:17 PM
2

I'm glad you did. How long were you married? Is your divorce finalized already?
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 06:16 PM
3

I understand where you're coming from. I'm the same way. I hate conflict too and tend to be a pleaser. It's exhausting. It's really the worst when they don't want to hear you out. I would listen to my ex with patience and not interrupt her, but she wouldn't do the same. It drove me insane, so I felt like it was just easier to give in each time. I lost my self-respect doing that.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 06:15 PM
3

Yeah, it's an oxymoron. It only took me 4 years to realize it, but I'm glad it's over now.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 05:57 PM
3

I never saw the movie before, but I understand the example. My ex had too big of an ego to ever want to back down. The very few times she did, I thought we were making progress. Then she went right back to her old ways.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 05:55 PM
4

I agree. Respect is a non-negotiable. My ex was older and more experienced than me, so she felt like she could never do wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 05:51 PM
1

Not too far off from mine. I lasted 5 years. Yes, I've been legally single for about a month now. lol Not yet. My ex is still here for another month and then she's moving out.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/23 10:20 PM
2

Sounds like my sister's place. The fridge and pantry are filled, but not in a good way. lol Glad you're out of that situation. How long were you married?
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/23 05:14 PM
5

Right here. Been doing it for 8 months now and she'll be moving out next month. We cook and dine separately. We split all the bills in half. We shop for our own groceries. We have our own separate bedrooms and bathrooms. We rarely talk to each other unless it's important. We don't tell each other where we're going or who we'll be with. It's none of her or my business. That's how we keep the peace for the most part. Avoiding each other. On the downside, she keeps bringing her new lover to the pla…
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 10:35 PM
2

You're a patient man. Her behavior is unacceptable. She was pretty much another child to take care of. Glad that you're doing much better now. I couldn't even last longer than five years in my marriage, not because she was a slob or anything. Just incompatible overall and her slobbiness didn't help either.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 10:28 PM
1

It's hard to stay away when everything is still so fresh. But I will take this time to recover from it. Thanks, I'll check that out. I learned my lesson and won't pull that shit again.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 10:21 PM
1

Fruitfly traps? Oh lawd! That's not good. lol My ex was similar when it came to cleaning. When she cleaned, she did a great job. Did she clean often? Not really. Did you know she was a slob before you married her?
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 10:15 PM
1

Nice! You got off easier than most. A lot of active people here are recently divorced, so I wasn't expecting anyone who's been divorced 10+ years.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 03:40 AM
1

Got it. That's the first time I've heard it. lol Since it's only been a year, did your divorce went smoother than others?
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 02:25 AM
1

Congrats on finding love after divorce. Yeah, the living together part is tricky because you'll be sharing everything.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 02:21 AM
1

Damn, you nope out of there quick! Btw, who is Sancho? lol
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 02:14 AM
1

If it was important enough, she would have made time for it. How long were you two married?
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 12:47 AM
1

That's how everyone feels. We all should have left sooner. It's alright. Better late than never. Divorce screws a lot of people over, so I'm not surprised. I believe you can still have a loving committed relationship without getting married.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 12:44 AM
1

12 years? Man, you're patient. Mine only lasted 5 years, but I mentally checked out during the last 3 years. Yeah, once they realize the grass isn't always greener on the other side, they want to make amends.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 12:30 AM
1

Damn. That's gross and frustrating. What was her excuse for not cleaning?
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 12:27 AM
1

It's recent, but that's good. Have your mental health improve since?
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 12:26 AM
2

Well now she knows. She didn't want to change with you and now she has to with the next one.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 08:02 PM
1

Well, they're an ex for a reason. How long has it been since you divorced?
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 07:59 PM
1

Good on you for focusing on the things that matter the most and not giving into their BS.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 06:13 PM
2

Man, that's way too much work on you. I did take on more of the cleaning duties because my ex had a stressful job. I felt like it only enabled her to continue being a slob. That's my goal when my ex finally moves out. My place will finally be clean again.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 06:10 PM
2

Good on you for trying to be a good man until the end. Kids can definitely sense things. I was blinded and manipulated for a while. She definitely saw me as an easy target. I'm never going to let a woman walk all over me like that again.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 06:04 PM
1

Yeah, I understand. It's going to take a long time for me to get married again, but even then I won't sign any papers. I know plenty of couples who got "married" without getting their marriage certificate.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 06:02 PM
2

See, even the kids can tell. I won't date slobs anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 06:00 PM
2

Both my parents may have been pack rats, but they weren't messy. They always clean and pick things off the floor. I recently thought about pursuing this new woman. I got inside her car and couldn't believe how unkempt it was. And she didn't want to show me her bedroom, because it was too messy. I can't do it, man. Yeah, I need a woman who at least has her place together. Preferably no pets.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 05:57 PM
1

Also not environmentally friendly either. Washing dishes isn't my favorite thing to do, but loading it up in the dish washer is quite fast and easy.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 05:53 PM
2

Yup, they really don't give a damn. I remembered struggling in pain and asking my ex to take to me to the ER, because we still lived together. I'm glad that she still has an ounce of empathy to drive me to the ER, but the way she went about it put a bad taste in my mouth. My ex was upset at the fact that she spent her "good years" on me and that it didn't work out. And that now she was older, it would be hard to find a mate. She's only in her early 30s, can you believe that? Anyways, I'm glad sh…
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 05:52 PM
1

Really? What's your story, man?
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 05:43 PM
1

There's no shame in hiring help to clean the house. My ex is like that too for the most part. She just kept a lot of shit around. Useless shit sometimes. Yeah, it's quite an eye-sore to look at. I apologize to guests every time.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 05:42 PM
2

I don't think it has anything to do with her genes. lol Either way, I'm glad you're out of that situation now.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 05:40 PM
2

Sorry to hear. Glad you got out. How long was your marriage?
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 05:37 PM
2

Yeah, that's tricky. I wish people were more open and honest. At least my ex had zero shame in the beginning. lol
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 05:40 AM
5

Using COVID-19 as an excuse is tiring when your results are negative. My ex used "adhd" as an excuse for always being late to things. She failed her adhd test and was disappointed that she was just plain irresponsible.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 05:38 AM
1

I hate when they do that and don't bother to clean it off before the next person gets in. Luckily, my ex only did that a couple of times. But her hair was everywhere else. Women tend to shed more than men. Just something, we men will always have to deal with.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 05:36 AM
1

Yeah, I don't know why they put off doing or folding their laundry. Mine would keep her fresh laundry on the couch for months and the pile gets bigger and bigger each time. And then a miracle would happen and she'll finally get to it. Paper plates and plastic silverware remind me of college living. lol
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 05:30 AM
3

That's fucking wild! It's almost like she wanted you to get used to her messy behavior and accept it. She's definitely delusional. I'm glad you're doing better now. Not sure who's downvoting. Maybe it's bitter people lurking around on this sub.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 05:26 AM
1

Kids are definitely messy by nature for the most part. It takes a good parent to discipline them or clean up after them.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 05:21 AM
2

I know cleanliness doesn't determine a person's character, but it does make everything worse.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 05:19 AM
2

Wow, that's the same as me. I took on most of the cleaning duties because I knew she had a stressful job. And it only enables her to continue to be a slob. Nothing really changed. The right person should always make you want to change for the better.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 05:17 AM
3

Did she ever pretend to be clean at the beginning of the relationship? Mine had zero shame since the beginning.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 05:12 AM
2

Sounds like a serious mental illness. It's hazardous to live in such a state, especially when there are children involved. Despite how things played out, I hope she gets professional help.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 05:11 AM
1

Damn! Both of those are a horrible combination. Glad, she's your ex now. Do you make an effort to make sure your next girlfriend is a clean person?
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 05:06 AM
4

That definitely reeks! I can't go longer than a week without loading the dishes. I have been on dish duty for most of our marriage. Oh yeah, I mostly fill up our water jug too. Your ex-wife sounds inconsiderate. My ex had a terrible habit of not putting on new toilet paper rolls. The countless times I met an empty roll while on the toilet. And she was horrible at plunging her own shit-flooded toilet and tried to make me do it for her, because she hates poop in general. After the first few times,…
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 04:52 AM
3

Definitely will. One of my criteria is going to be cleanliness. lol
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 04:34 AM
4

Damn, what a shame and that's fucking gross! Why couldn't she have cleaned up before the visit? I'm sorry, you must have been so embarrassed and had to distract the real estate agent.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 04:33 AM
2

Well, I'm glad you straightened things out and felt good about it. I just had to deal with my ex's being a slob this whole time. I complained multiple times in the past and she never really improved much. People don't change unless they really want to.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 04:22 AM
1

At least you're trying to improve. I think having a clean space can do a lot for a person's mental health and probably attract the right women.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 04:15 AM
7

Man, I hated that excuse. My ex would put all her fresh laundry on 80% of the couch and "forget" about it for months. I don't know how these people don't see this as a major issue. Glad, you have your own place now that's clutter-free.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 04:09 AM
1

How bad was yours?
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 04:04 AM
1

Good on you for kicking her out and cleaning out her junk. Sometimes, I wonder how we can overlook this behavior of theirs.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 03:59 AM
5

Yeah, a year is quite soon. It's still considered the honeymoon stage. At least you'll never be fooled again. Mine gave me an ultimatum in less than 2 years of a rocky relationship to marry or leave. Being so young and inexperienced in relationships, I desperately tried to save it and unwillingly got married. Never again.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 03:57 AM
3

Nice. Glad you don't have to share space with her anymore. I only have one more month with the slob. It'll be freedom at last!
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 09:52 PM
5

3 months is way too long to not be getting the house in order or fixing up dinner at least. How long were you two together before you got married?
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 09:48 PM
2

Haha! I get it. Glad your mom picked it up quickly. How long have you been divorced now?
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 09:37 PM
8

I learned my lesson now after being married. Dirty underwear on the floor is just unacceptable. I'm glad your daughter prefers a more livable situation.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 09:33 PM
3

I'm glad that you were secretly cleaning stuff out. Aggressive cleaning is necessary in those cases. Yeah, my ex would most likely be a pack rat. But she wasn't organized, she just left her stuff all over the floor. So it was messy. She was always saving something for a future DIY project that she never had time for.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 09:25 PM
8

Damn, how long did she string you along to believe that?
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 09:20 PM
5

Yeah, man. It's embarrassing. My ex didn't give a damn, she didn't care what anyone thinks of her mess. But I cared, but her opinion always overridden mine. My parents would be disappointed, they always kept a tidy home.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 09:14 PM
1

I'm just saying. I'm not going to be dating any time soon. I'm going to enjoy being single for a while. Thanks, I'll check them out! I'm not going to be taken advantage of anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 09:07 PM
1

That's incredibly bold. I'm currently not in a position to make a huge move yet. Financially struggling atm. My ex will be moving out of the city, so I'll most likely won't ever see her again or run into her in the future. My community is here in this town. I won't be moving unless there's a great job opportunity or an incredible gal who's worth it. But I understand the fresh start that moving to a new city can bring.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 06:33 AM
1

Thanks man!
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 12:15 AM
1

The only positive thing is I don't ever hear anything and they're always out of my sight. Anyways, it's not worth the trouble or energy. So I'm letting it go.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/23 06:57 PM
2

I understand. I think I'll be fine. I learned my lesson already. Not looking to date anytime soon. Going to put myself first this time.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/23 06:54 PM
2

We're renting an apartment. If it was a house, then things would have gone differently. I'm trying to keep this apartment until she leaves. Peace is what I'm focusing on. She's not worth my time and energy.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/23 06:39 PM
2

We're renting an apartment, if it was a house then things would be different.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/23 06:37 PM
2

LOL!
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/23 06:36 PM
1

I gotta say that I got a kick out of reading your comment! Haha! I'm actually not that petty. It's only going to drain my energy if I give it. I want to keep my apartment is the main reason why I'm staying here. I have lived here for a while so my rent isn't as high compared to getting a new apartment. For the most part, it's pretty quiet at my place at least.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/23 06:32 PM
2

Yeah, it was triggering. Reddit is a good outlet. I was able to calm myself down. She's definitely lying to him about me being a random roommate to make it less awkward for them. I don't want to engage, because she'll get some satisfaction out of it. And she doesn't deserve it. I'm not violent and I hate drama. I gotta keep my peace for now.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 08:41 PM
2

Most likely, she told him a lie that I'm just some random roommate. And yeah me too. I could never do that either.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 08:38 PM
3

I'm just gonna let him have her. Not my problem anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 08:36 PM
5

She's the only girl in her family and she's also a daddy's girl. Idk if that contributed anything. She completely changed. I don't recognize her anymore. And I shouldn't care too much about it. Yup, that's my plan when I get my shit together and she moves out. Thanks! I'll be okay.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 08:36 PM
3

Nope, not giving her the satisfaction at all. She's not worth it. And she will never apologize ever, she barely did when we were married. I'm going to be okay. Just one more month.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 08:32 PM
2

I haven't met him. All he knows is that she's available and I'm just some random roommate. Cause if he knew that I'm her ex, I'm sure he wouldn't be okay with all of this.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 08:28 PM
2

Yup, I'm looking at the bigger picture. Can't wait to get rid of the toxic energy in the house.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 08:25 PM
3

Yeah, she knows she has the upper hand in this situation. It's whatever, she's going to move out before I know it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 08:24 PM
2

I think it's just her. I have female family members and friends who wouldn't do that to their ex. I'm still going to be cautious if I get into another relationship again. I gotta find a woman who's respectful and nice in general. Looking back now, my ex may have been nice to me, but she was extremely judgmental of others. And I don't know why I turned a blind eye to it. Never again.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 08:21 PM
2

Yeah. I get out of the house whenever I have a chance. I stick to myself. I hate drama.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 08:02 PM
3

Yup, I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. Because she's not mine anymore. And I won't give her the satisfaction of me being "jealous" or "bothered".
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 08:00 PM
3

She didn't give a damn when I first brought up the rule. She doesn't give a damn now. And you're right, I never really had strong male role models in my life. I didn't have a backbone in this marriage either, so that's why she doesn't respect me. Right now, I'm just focused on having peace after going through a health crisis.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 07:57 PM
1

Counting only makes it go slower. lol I'm okay though. I have enough things to keep me busy and distracted for now. lol
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 07:52 PM
3

I can't believe she stooped this low, cause I could never. Most likely, she'll be out with her lover. So I have the home to myself most of the time.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 07:50 PM
3

Yeah, I'm not going to react. It was triggering, but I calmed myself down. I do step outside the house whenever I can. It's just nice to be away from her. I have too many important things going on than to keep track of her.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 07:48 PM
1

If I wasn't in such a vulnerable state, then I would have broken the lease a long time ago. I promise myself that I won't ever stoop this low again. I'm going to rebuild myself, so I'll never need to compromise my respect and self-worth.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 07:46 PM
1

I wish that was the case. Unfortunately, it's not. My ex is probably lying and saying that I'm just a random roommate.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 07:41 PM
2

Exactly. It's not worth the fight or trouble. My ex will never listen or try to understand where I'm coming from. That was a big part of why I couldn't continue the marriage. She never really cared how I felt.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 07:39 PM
2

See, we were at the exact same spot as you guys. I'm glad you both were respectful of one another. I brought up that rule, but she didn't give a fuck. She can't promise that she won't bring anyone home. So near the end of the divorce, she started getting comfortable and inviting her "friend" over. At least, they're quiet and out of my way. That I can respect to some degree, but I rather she not bring anyone home at all. Just 1.5 months to go.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 07:37 PM
3

It's not worth it, but I see where you're getting. Me and my ex already set boundaries on not asking or telling each other our business. I just wish she kept her business out of the home until she moves out. Our divorce just finalized, so I'm just waiting for her to move out next month.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 07:24 PM
7

Some women can be so vicious.. Gonna take me some time to find a nice gal.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 06:46 AM
3

Congrats man! I can't wait to start again once she moves out of here. That's a great mindset to have. Money can be earn, but you can't earn time. It was a good choice to divorce and not waste any more time.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 06:44 AM
3

Tell me about it! I'm thinking maybe my ex lied to him about me just being a random roommate. But still, you gotta suspect something if your lady is living with another dude. It's whatever, man. They do keep the noise level to a minimum though. I would hate to hear them.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 06:35 AM
3

My divorce was quick too. No truer words than your last sentence. They are completely different. They're not the same person anymore. My ex started seeing someone immediately after we filed for divorce. I was okay with it, but now she's bringing them back home to spend the night. She tries her best to avoid us meeting each other at least.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 06:30 AM
3

Idk why they think it's okay to pull shit like that. If I wasn't in such a vulnerable state, I would have broke the lease and found another place. I took the office, but kept the bed. She has the master's. There was the trade off we made. I'm glad you were able to bail. Have your divorce finalized yet?
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 06:23 AM
6

It's definitely a trigger, but I'm not going to let it get to me. I got more important things to deal with. Her "friend" has been here since last night and haven't gone home yet. sigh
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 04:57 AM
1

Yup, that's what I'm focusing on.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 04:53 AM
12

Nah, I don't have time for that. She's not worth it. lol
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 04:24 AM
4

Thanks! I'm okay. It's just getting strange now. My ex is feeling too laxed.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 04:22 AM
7

After we filed for divorce, I tried making rules for cohabitating regarding bringing your date or new lover over. She didn't give a fuck and shrugged off. So I'm not surprised this happened. Just some shit I have to deal with, but it's temporary.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 04:20 AM
2

Nah, she gain weight. She likes yoga, but her work always got the best of her. She did start seeing someone immediately after we filed for divorce. I could give less of a fuck, because we have gotten over each other for a while now. No affection or intimacy for almost 2 years. We both were just extremely lonely people with the wrong person. No matter what she does, I'm no longer attracted to her.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 04:07 PM
1

Yeah, I don't mind who initiated the divorce. Shit, I initiated mine. lol I care more about who she is as a person and if she's suitable to be a partner.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 07:46 PM
1

Yup! Cheers!
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 05:53 PM
1

Thank you! And congrats to you as well! Everyone's been telling me to get a cat or a dog, but I refuse to. I can't afford one right now. I'm glad your dog helped you though. Pets are great for emotional support. Thankfully, I got my family to lean on.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 08:41 AM
2

Yup. We both wanted out easy and simple.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 05:25 PM
1

I don't even know what that is. Lol
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 05:22 PM
1

Thanks! You'll get there! 🙏
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 05:20 PM
2

Yup! I don't miss it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 05:20 PM
1

Thank you! Feels good to be free.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 05:18 PM
1

Thanks mate!
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 05:17 PM
3

Noted. I'm going to take a break from relationships for a while. Marriage isn't that appealing to me.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 05:17 PM
2

Nice!! Just in time for the holidays!
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 05:14 PM
3

Thank you! I'm just glad it's officially over. I'm not legally tied to her anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 11:08 PM
2

Thank you! I have been so busy focusing on getting my life together that I almost forgot it was today. Going to celebrate!
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 11:07 PM
6

Thank you! Oh God no! If anything, she's busy screwing somebody else now.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 11:06 PM
3

Thank you! Yes, I realized it's a privilege after reading many horror stories on here. I don't know about getting married a second time anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 11:03 PM
3

Thank you! Of course. So far, it's been alright.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 11:02 PM
1

Thank you! Just hang in tight. It'll come sooner than you expected if you don't focus on the date too much.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 11:01 PM
1

I wasn't honest. I didn't open up about how I really felt about the relationship until it was too late. I was in denial that I still love her and wanted to make it work. Deep inside, my feelings had died a long long time ago. I don't know why it took me so long to give it up. I'm in a better place now.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 08:47 AM
3

I agree. Although I got with my STBXW for her personality. But once we became incompatible, there wasn't much for me to hang onto. I will make sure that the next gal will not only have a nice personality but I must also find her attractive as well. I think personality is great, but some level of physical attractiveness is also important.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 08:04 PM
6

Damn. That's a crazy gap. I wouldn't feel comfortable splurging on her like that, maybe I'm just cheap. I think a real considerate woman would have not let that slide.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/23 01:42 AM
1

Yeah it's tricky, but it's temporary. Hopefully you don't have to wait too long. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/23 07:57 PM
1

I realized when it comes down to it, I would like to have a FWB. But that's also another challenge of its own. I'm okay. I'll be relying on the five-knuckle shuffle for now. lol
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 04:27 PM
2

Thanks for the pep talk, man! I realized how many flaws I overlooked with the other woman. I was after her for all the wrong reasons, which could have ended disastrously. I'm kind of glad the universe did me a favor. lol
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 04:08 PM
2

I'm glad you were able to pull yourself out of a dark place. I hope you have a support system in real life. They can make a huge difference rather than feeling like you're alone.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 04:04 PM
1

Nice! Just living your best life! I plan to do something similar as well. I want to travel more and experience new people and stuff. Self-reflection and reading are great as well. I do that on weekly basis already.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 04:03 PM
2

Yeah, sometimes I'm glad I'm not in a relationship because it sure is a lot of work. Other times, I'm just lonely. What have you been up to since the divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 12:43 AM
1

How are you holding up?
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 12:41 AM
1

My sister gave me the same advice. I will definitely do that. How long has it been since you been divorced?
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 07:49 PM
2

I see. I guess the timing may have seemed off with that other woman, but it must have been right for me. It's already been several months now, so I'm getting into a better headspace than I was before.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 07:03 PM
1

Yeah, I sort of figured. No one likes to be a rebound. The next gal deserved a better version of myself, so I'll be spending a lot of time building myself instead.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 06:59 PM
6

Thank goodness, someone referred this post to me. Before filing for divorce, I had another woman in mind that I planned to pursue once I filed for divorce. Btw, I wasn't cheating behind my stbxw's back or anything. Maybe the Universe was looking out for me, because that woman got into a relationship a few months before I filed for divorce. I was so bummed out. My marriage has been dead for a few years. My stbxw and I were already living separate lives but under the same roof. The woman I wanted …
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 05:34 PM
1

Thanks! I'll check it out.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 04:36 PM
2

Yup, that's the goal. I don't want to date out of desperation and loneliness. I considered a dog before, but it's a lot of responsibility. I have hobbies for now, so I'm good. lol
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 04:36 PM
3

I understand. One complaint can lead to arguing. So I try to choose my battles wisely. I wish you luck!
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 04:34 PM
3

Nice to hear from another fellow who's been through it! Not many of us here can cohabitate with my exes. Ours was an amicable divorce process too. Luckily, we both had moved on the way before the divorce filing. We live under one roof, but separate lives. It really helped me when I decided to go see friends and family more. She did the same, so we barely see each other throughout the day. Man, I can't wait for her to move out. Glad to know that you're doing well without her!
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 04:27 PM
1

Yup. I never like giving up. So I fought and tried for years. My marriage couldn't be salvaged. No amount of couples therapy was going to repair it. We were both tired at that point. Next month, my divorce is finalized. No regrets at all!
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 07:07 AM
4

We both wanted out as cheap and as fast as possible. Even though we weren't compatible, neither of us were vengeful.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 07:02 AM
2

Nvm then. Lol
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 06:37 AM
2

Damn! Sorry to hear. It's definitely not an ideal situation.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 06:26 AM
3

I married a woman who wasn't my type, but was supportive, nurturing and funny. But over time with friction in the relationship, it only made it worse. I told myself that I need to be to at least be physically attracted to the next gal if I'm going to do it right this time around I don't need a 10. Shoot, I'll go for a strong 6. Lol
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 06:20 AM
3

That's a great plan. Lol But in our situation, the split wasn't ugly like cheating, abuse, etc. I fell out of love and she was tired of trying. We were able to have an open conversation about divorcing and living conditions. Plus, we both save money in the meantime. Rent has been crazy high, so we agreed to cohabit in separate rooms instead.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 06:08 AM
7

Thanks man! It's not rainbows and butterflies. But we both respect each other's spaces. We don't get into huge arguments, but rather disagreements. I learned to choose my battles wisely over time.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 06:03 AM
3

You're in the right headspace. I already felt a burst of energy knowing that I'm filing for divorce. I can't imagine how it would feel to be free from the shackles when the divorce is finalized. I'm not in a rush to get back into another relationship. I'm going to enjoy the single lifestyle for a while and just have a good darn time. Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 04:32 AM
2

That's how it should be. I hope to be the same as well. I'll definitely miss the things we used to do together, but I want to make new memories on my own. I think the home project is a nice touch to changing things up.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 04:26 AM
2

Yup. I gotta grow a backbone for my next relationship. I'm not gonna hold onto the negative energy of this relationship. I need peace. My stbxw is still bitter and she can take it out on me sometimes. But at least I know that I'm the only who's going to have an easier recovery than her. I'm sorry it sounds like you had a lot of history with this person, but I always believe humans are built to adapt to changes. We all will learn to move on if we truly want to.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/23 11:14 PM
2

Sorry, but I'm sure you'll get through it. We as humans need time to process through emotions first. Afterwards, we learn to pick things back up and move on with our lives. I'm not sure how I'm gonna feel once my stbxw moves out. But I think I'll be fine, because we barely have much contact throughout the day. And I came to peace about her moving out some day.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/23 11:11 PM
2

Yes, I'll definitely get it in writing. I just think it's best to grow apart from one another. Thanks! I appreciate it!
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/23 11:08 PM
1

Thanks for confirming! So we're probably going to file jointly after many many comments. She agrees to paid a bigger portion of the tax owed since she makes more money. But she also wants to take a bigger portion if we get a refund. Is that even fair?
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 06:08 AM
5

I don't blame you for not wanting to be friends afterwards. I was nice enough to tell my stbxw that if she needed anything she can call me. Turns out she won't do the same for me and wants to act like I don't exist after everything settles. Sometimes I think being kind was what led me into this relationship in the first place.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 06:06 AM
2

Yes, I'll definitely be prepared for any of that. She's not one to do things out of malice despite being bitter about the pending divorce. She's not completely comfortable living with me and she can't really call it her own space. If anything, she will be the one moving out first. I'm just going to focus on my stuff and continue on with my life despite living with my stbxw. I don't think this divorce is devastating or anything. It's truly freedom for the both of us.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 01:37 AM
2

Oh it's definitely going to be finalized way before Dec. 31. lol Can't wait to file single again. Gosh, it's been so long. Thanks for sharing your experience though!
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 09:54 PM
2

No problem! Glad you made it out alive. Yup, the sex stuff died hard but it needed to. I'm also focusing on self-improvement as well. My next relationship deserve a better version of myself. Thanks! I appreciate it!
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 09:52 PM
25

Same. My stbxw doesn't take any accountability nor have any self-awareness to see her own faults. She thought she was the perfect wife to me. Yeah she loved me, but she didn't care about what I have to say when it counts. And that resulted in me wanting to file for divorce. She never even want to get to the bottom of it. She never wanted to talk about it nor listen to what I had to say. She made up her own answers and don't need to me to tell her. Oh well...
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 09:41 PM
1

We live in CA as well. Shoot. I don't think she's doing anything shady. She has zero debt. I think we'll be fine doing it jointly then. Cause I don't want to go through the hassle of filing separately only to get the same or worse outcomes than filing jointly.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 09:31 PM
2

You're right about that. Setting ground rules and being mature about it enough to stick to them. Unfornately, the biggest reason for divorcing her was poor communication. So I won't be able to set some ground rules without her thinking I'm trying control her and her life. But we been living like roommates for the past 2 years and things aren't perfect, but they're aren't horrible either. She's not the type to bring "guests" around and I won't either. I'm glad your situation worked out at the end…
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 09:24 PM
3

I see. We actually stopped being intimate for a while now and don't plan on getting back to it. So when she moves out or if I move out, we'll be fine. Thanks man! Good luck as well! Moving on is tough, but doable with time.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 09:09 PM
2

Yikes! All the more reasons to divorce her. One thing I did admired about my partner is that she's not the type to sleep around. We actually been living like roommates for 2 years now, so divorcing isn't going to be a big adjustment or anything. The only thing is that she has grown bitter that she's still stuck here with me. She wants out as much as I do, but our financial situation is keeping us here for 9 more months.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 09:05 PM
2

Thanks, I understanding you're just looking out for me. Honestly, that's what it's been like for the past 2 years. We're kind of use to it. If anything, she'll be the one moving out first and not me. We're both tied financially. I can't afford the apartment on my own and she's currently saving up to move to a different city. So we agreed to stick together until the lease is due.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 08:59 PM
1

Yeah, that's something I'm still kind of hesitant about filing separately. As much as I want to separate my shit from hers, I'll take the easier route and filed jointly if I can. She already agreed to pay a higher amount of taxes than me, since she makes more money.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 08:56 PM
1

That's tough. I'm glad you made it out alive. I actually try my best to avoid fights and arguments, because she's not worth my time and effort anymore. She had grown bitter for the past couple of months while I tried to be more empathic and patient. There's not a lot of things that bothers me, because I know she'll be gone in September. Other than that, we both respect each other's spaces and privacy. We have our own systems for paying the bills. It'll be alright, I been through worse living con…
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 08:54 PM
1

Yup, I had a feeling. Yes, no kids. We don't have a house, but an apartment. We're currently cohabitating until our lease is due.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 08:46 PM
1

We don't have any kids. I'm going to weigh out both options first.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 08:44 PM
2

Damn that's long! Glad you stick it out and got the whole house to yourself now. I understand. I don't want to co-habitate with another person for a while even if I have a gf. Freedom and privacy is something I been craving since I knew my marriage wasn't going to work.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 06:28 PM
1

Sorry to hear. It's quite an adjustment, but I'm sure you'll learn to navigate it and get through it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 04:02 PM
1

To be honest, we been living like this for 2 years now. Just like roommates. So another 9 months wouldn't kill us. You're right about that. I talked with her about bringing her "guest" over, but she can't give me a definite answer. I told her that I won't do it while living under the same roof. I'm not too worried about her, cause knowing her...she'll never bring someone here while I'm still living there. She likes her privacy.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 03:59 PM
2

I talked with her, she doesn't mind paying a bigger portion for taxes. So I'm clear on that, thankfully. I understand where you're coming from. I even told her of she ever needed anything in the future then she can always call me. But getting closer to filing...I want to take my words back. Lol. Because she wouldn't do the same.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 03:51 PM
3

She wouldn't give me a clear answer when I asked. I don't want to date. I want to focus on my career and improving myself this year. I'm not ready to go back to the dating world yet.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 03:49 PM
1

Congrats! How does it feel?
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 03:46 PM
2

Sorry to hear! Glad you're away from your ex now. No, thankfully she's not. She may hate my guts, but she won't do things out of malice. She still stays out late or spend the night at her friend's house. But it doesn't bother me. And we don't have any kids too. So I can see this working out for the remainder of the lease.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 03:45 PM
1

It sounds like the easier option. She might get pissed owing more tax if we file separately.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 03:40 PM
3

We compromise for the most part. There's little things that will bug us, but not big enough to make either one of us want to move out. And yeah I won't tolerate my ex fucking someone under the same roof. It's going to be a no-go for me. Lol.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 08:01 AM
1

Sorry to hear. I'm glad you're making a game plan. Everyday, I'm working on myself to become a better person. So when she finally leaves, I know I'll be fine without her. I plan to enjoy my newfound freedom for a while and just enjoy life. I got married young and never really explore. Best of luck to the both of us.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 07:58 AM
1

Thank you! How is it so far?
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 07:50 AM
1

Damn! Well, I'm glad you both can agree on something to help both of you out. We live in CA as well. We're definitely looking at filing jointly if that means we can save more money together.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 05:19 AM
1

Thanks for the link. I use turbox tax so I'll run the numbers and compare. I had a major surgery that was inpatient and I have to get physical therapy afterwards. It's pretty expensive.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 04:50 AM
1

I'll be talking to her about it. She's not one to complicate things either, especially since I'll have the upper hand in this. Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 10:36 PM
2

She's going to be worse off filing separately. So I'm willing to offer to file jointly if she's willing to pay a bigger portion of the taxes owe to the IRS. It'll be less work for the both of us and I'll be paying my fair share.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 10:29 PM
1

This divorce is going to be pretty clean. We'll be filing for summary dissolution. No lawyers involved. We just want it to be quick and simple. I'm going to see which will benefit me more when filing together or separately. At this point, I have to watch out for my own back. I'm nearly broke, transitioning back to work from ground up, dealing with an ongoing medical condition, and trying to restore my mental health. She does not care.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 07:40 PM
1

Irreconcilable differences. There was no foul play in our marriage. I'm not sure how that reasoning can affect us filing for taxes.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 07:24 PM
2

Ohh yeah that's a tricky one. My wife and I have no children or any other dependents.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 07:22 PM
2

Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. Cause if I get a loan after we file for divorce, it's solely my responsibility to repay back the loan. There shouldn't be any joint responsibility anymore. Cause then people would just abuse the crap out of it. lol Thank you for your response!
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/23 09:51 PM
2

Thank you for your response. I might have to seek one! I don't want to mess anything up and was wondering if the community have any similar experiences.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/23 04:02 AM
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