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4th_times_a_charm_ Archive

View 24 posts and 132 comments by 4th_times_a_charm_ on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
53

Rant4th_times_a_charm_/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 09:53 PM
52

4th_times_a_charm_/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 02:50 AM
47

4th_times_a_charm_/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 12:33 AM
27

Dealing with the Ex / STBX4th_times_a_charm_/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 12:18 AM
24

4th_times_a_charm_/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 07:51 AM
20

Dealing with the Ex / STBX4th_times_a_charm_/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 10:49 PM
17

4th_times_a_charm_/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 04:40 AM
17

Dating After Divorce4th_times_a_charm_/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 09:50 PM
13

4th_times_a_charm_/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 09:20 PM
9

Lawyers4th_times_a_charm_/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 06:05 PM
9

Dealing with the Ex / STBX4th_times_a_charm_/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 11:03 PM
8

4th_times_a_charm_/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 10:00 PM
7

Need Support4th_times_a_charm_/r/Divorce_Men11/01/25 05:40 AM
7

Need Support4th_times_a_charm_/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 03:22 AM
5

4th_times_a_charm_/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 02:10 AM
4

Rant4th_times_a_charm_/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 03:43 AM
3

4th_times_a_charm_/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 09:58 PM
3

Dating After Divorce4th_times_a_charm_/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 11:31 PM
2

Rant4th_times_a_charm_/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 11:29 PM
1

4th_times_a_charm_/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 07:01 PM
1

Need Support4th_times_a_charm_/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 09:01 PM
1

Rant4th_times_a_charm_/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 10:27 PM
1

Need Support4th_times_a_charm_/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 04:50 AM
1

4th_times_a_charm_/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 06:01 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Nah, I'm good.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/25 10:15 PM
1

? Did I post my profile photo ? Why do I need to look older?
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/25 10:01 PM
1

What would you do?
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 12:58 PM
2

Occasional meetings where I try to explain and he says it doesn't work like that.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 03:50 AM
2

That doesn't make sense. The lawyer is trying to do the second option I provided and they have me paying her 3000. The correct way is option one in which everything is divided in half pre separation and I am awarded for my payments (23,000) after separation in 9/26/2023.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 03:41 AM
1

Equalization makes sense up to the point of separation, but I've been paying for the house and other bills from the joint account that I alone deposited my paychecks into after the separation 1.5 years ago.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 03:37 AM
5

A postcard from your recent vacation without her.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 05:00 PM
1

So I should stop paying the house payment so she is forced to pay? I updated the link with her proposal which is not split down the middle. It's an odd one.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 06:02 AM
1

One would think the time of separation would matter >:-( . So, I should stop paying for the house and utilities, so she is forced to pay. I should also do a discovery of her accounts to make sure her paychecks are all accounted for and not being funneled to her parents in Japan?
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 05:44 AM
1

Thats funny. At 25 yards with birdshot it looks like it hurts really bad. At 10 or less yards, homie isn't making it out alive.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/24 06:39 PM
1

From what I hear on many YouTube channels and comments, the reliability issue can be avoided with quality ammo and maintenance.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/24 04:18 PM
1

Much appreciated. I know most people are shoot to kill/maim with 12 gauge or 44 mag. I don't have that sense of self-righteous judge and jury in me. I'm not even saying it's bad to feel that way. You should protect your family with whatever means you deam fit. But I want to give them them a couple of chances to turn tail after they get hit. Maybe that's a nieve stance.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/24 04:15 PM
2

It's not a real gun -_-. "Like ya do" was a joke. I like how the 1911 looks, and I want something less lethal like .22.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/24 09:17 AM
1

Im torn between my heart and my head and my morals. Am I supposed to love her with the same resolve and depth as I always have, am I suppose to enact a sense of justice and self care for her transgressions, am I meant to maintain the standard of our vows and God's covenant that even when one side breaks the other does not waver? I want her back, but I don't know which path leads me there. Today, I even made this. https://www.instagram.com/reel/DBce3bsprN5PFqKmPaJ9UWm1TtEyYuLbrDhRBg0/?igsh=MWg2M3…
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 11:59 PM
-6

You misspelled "bad". The vow is till death. Choose wisely.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 01:38 AM
3

Those are things I would do with a coworker or even a stranger. Good people act like good people. Why should I give a shit if things are better between us. I'm not supposed to want to have a relationship with her. I do want a relationship with her, but I can't have it both ways. Either we are building something for the future, or we are cutting ties. She doesn't get to betray us and act like nothing happened and I'm supposed to treat her like I would anybody else, fuck that. She's a predator and…
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 04:56 PM
2

I was like this for the first year and a few months. Walk the dogs together, chitchat chat about work for half an hour, offer her a drink, etc. At some point, it feels like she has to face the consequences of her actions.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 04:33 PM
1

Are you talking about spite? How do I direct the anger into productivity, what is the lens?
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 10:57 PM
7

That's awful. I'm sorry that happened to you. Did the court order you to sell? We're you given an option to refinanc? How did you get to keep it? I love her so much, but I'm also well aware of what she's done. It feels like I'm always on the edge of "I miss you" and "You're a demon in disguise." Someday I might break my silence and tell her off.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 10:56 PM
6

1.5 years of separation. My life is in limbo, it's why I haven't changed anything in the house, no new decor, no improvements. I may lose the house, I may lose the dogs, and I may lose my money. I have hope for a brighter future. I'm on dating apps. I've learned a ton about relationships. I go to the gym. But I can't plan for anything. Life feels pretty pointless sometimes. Often, I sit on the couch and think to myself, " If I get up and go to the gym, I could be back in an hour. Why can't I jus…
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 10:33 PM
3

How... I can't escape the pain. It's everywhere.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 10:05 PM
3

He takes so much shit. I don't think people realize how much men need him. He's the male role model we never had. Towards the end, my wife started calling him my "friend," and in some sense, she wasn't wrong. How many of us have an opportunity to open up about what's going on, what we are feeling, to get validated, to be told it's not all our fault, that you deserve to be loved, etc etc etc. People demonize him for out of context comments... they don't see the massive father figure shaped hole h…
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 12:15 AM
1

https://youtu.be/E55Z_GDVXM8
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 06:14 PM
2

https://youtu.be/E55Z_GDVXM8
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 06:11 PM
0

You're utilizing ad hominem, and I won't take part with a bad faith actor. Goodbye. Edit to response: I refuse to respond to personal attacks from anyone. You're welcome to repurpose his argument in a civil manner.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 09:37 PM
1

I'm not even sure who's side you are on after that story. 30 years without consequence sounds like a non issue.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 08:53 PM
1

I have oral. I probably got it from my mom as a child. My wife and I were together for 7 years, and she never got it because we never kissed during an outbreak. Maybe there is some chance of spreading when not in an outbreak, but my anecdotal experience says the odds are so infinitesimally small that you could likely chalk it up to human error rather than actual nonoutbreak transmission.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 08:33 PM
3

As long as she isn't breaking out, she's probably fine. That being said, she's given you plenty of reason to believe she can't be trusted.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 05:29 PM
6

I don't mean to put salt on your wound but she was seeing guys before that...
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 06:38 PM
2

I don't know if it's expected as much as it's what we do... it's certainly what a good man does: we see a problem, and we fix said problem. We see someone in need, and we try to help. Unfortunately, when it comes to core issues of character, many people don't want help. They want supplementation in the form of a husband or wife.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/24 03:56 PM
1

Accurate as fuck. Wow.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 05:59 PM
2

Ya know, it's a frustrating non answer, but I definitely appreciate you taking the time to comment a unique perspective. I guess then the problem would be trusting my emotions vs. trusting my values vs. trusting my thoughts.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 12:28 AM
3

I can't deny that we've both changed in unexpected ways. But it's worth noting that OCEAN (big 5 scores) are fairly concrete. I've heard you can deviate about 15 percentile with effort, but ultimately, your personality is genetic. So, while someone may draw a new conclusion, their value structure by which they see the world is the same person you always knew, albeit a higher resolution view as time passes.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 12:01 AM
7

Unpopular Opinion. Hear her out. Don't let yourself be blind to the fact that she left you in troubled times, but do remember the person you fell in love with.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/24 01:54 AM
1

I lived there three months visiting my soon to be ex-wife's family, so I don't have a ton of anecdotal experience.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/24 11:31 AM
0

Im not here to debate the definition. Webster already tells me their definition. We are both correct in its usage. Get over it. Racial differences exist, and not just skin color. Look at muscle fiber composition, rates of diabetes, sickle cell anemia, hair thickness, etc. These are phenotypic and genotypic expressions of genetic variance that can be grouped by what... oh yeah, RACE.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 11:55 PM
1

Webster affirms both our usages. That said, your usage is very uncommon and unscientific. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/race
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 11:09 PM
3

You're confusing species and race.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 09:54 PM
2

Sorry, can you explain the reference? Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 07:30 PM
6

They don't have the history/culture that values romance. It's a collectivist culture that puts duty, honor, and respect above most virtues. They are also very conservative about PDA, so it's not like kids see their parents showing physical affection very often, if ever, hugs, sure depending on the family, but kisses, hand holding, ass smacking... doubtful.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 07:18 PM
10

Japanese. It definitely plays a part.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 07:00 PM
3

Wow, I feel this so much!
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/24 06:37 PM
1

Damn, I should have acquired more debt.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 08:53 PM
1

Nebraska
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 07:21 PM
1

Nebraska
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 06:07 PM
9

💯 My loyalty is to them now. I'll try to remember your comment. Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 03:32 AM
-1

We bought them together. They are like our kids. I live in "our" house (I pay for). But I feel like she should have access to the dogs, but I don't think she should have them for extended periods for reasons.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 02:00 AM
3

There's a comment section? I need to think of a good one.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/24 11:42 PM
12

Some people will never be happy. They will go through life always reaching for the next rung on the ladder, always foraging as they climb, and never stopping to admire the view.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 11:36 PM
1

You did the right thing even if she doesn't know it now.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 06:29 PM
1

It's a nice poem, genuinely.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 01:33 PM
1

Yes! The guilt... what more could I have done. Maybe I could have prevented this. Why didn't I do X. I let down so many people. I feel you brother.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 02:32 AM
2

Happiness is fizzy bubbles in your soda; that shit doesn't last. Search for Meaning, and if you are lucky, grateful, and contemplative, you will see moments of happiness. You won't be happy with someone else because nobody is perfect. People go on these dating apps trying to use filters to rule out every bad quality... guess what, everybody is going to have conflict with you at some point. You just have to learn to be great at conflict resolution and knowing when to give and when to take. Plus, …
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 10:59 PM
1

Man, I feel this so much. How can we trust anyone if the person who promised to spend their life with us through better or worse in front of family and friends just abandons us.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 08:43 PM
6

That's fucking awful. I'm sorry you had to endure that betrayal.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 02:29 AM
3

As much as I enjoy burgerking, I have to disagree. I love my wife unconditionally, that is a decision I made at the beginning of this marriage. Through the abuse, the neglect, the leaving, etc, my love for her has never faded. In fact, I've been struggling with my role for many months. When do I make the decision to cut off the unconditional love. Someday, I'll figure it out, but my point is, while the cynicism is justofied, a generalization like that isn't true.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 05:31 PM
6

It's difficult to have your eyes forced open. There's utility in being oblivious. That's the story of Adam and Eve. Once you have the knowledge of good and evil you also have the burden of responsibility to ensure your future.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 04:04 PM
4

If that's how they feel, fine. But tell us before we get married that you they don't believe in for better or worse so we aren't wasting our time when worse comes. It was never as bad as it seemed. Imagine if we get in an accident and can no longer walk, or worse. They would just abandon us, it's fucking sick.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 03:55 PM
1

Wow, "divorce rape." Look, I don't know what it's like to be raped but it certainly feels like the pain would be commensurate emotionally. Betrayal is the lowest level of hell for a reason. And to be fair, pain is subjective, so it very well could be equal to or greater than rape.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 01:32 PM
3

It's definitely a lot to consider knowing what I know now. I'm not sure there's any good reason to involve the government, but I do think marriage and the ceremony are net positive. There's something about speaking the words in front of your loved ones and making a lifelong promise that SHOULD manifest the kind of people who are so invested in their relationship that they would rather die than leave their mate.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 03:20 AM
2

Flipping a switch is exactly how it felt! It's like wtf are you talking about, less than a few weeks ago we were enjoying eachothers company, eating together, watching stuff together, having sex, etc. How can anyone just hit the brakes like that and decide to destroy someone's life. Not just someone but to betray the person they swore to give their life to. The fucking knife in our backs cannot be overstated.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 02:41 AM
1

HOW!?
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/24 09:33 PM
-5

It's been a year and a half. I still wear it. E: what an odd thing to downvote.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 02:49 AM
1

She got a court date from her lawyer today: my birthday. The separation was roughly may of 2023.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 12:43 AM
1

My wife moved in with a friend and only paid $600/mo. So 🤷‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 08:54 PM
0

It's weird for a lawyer to tell you you should pay if you are living there even if the equity is split 5050. Like logically, that's inconsistent. Say you alone continue to pay, and your portion of the equity is 70%, but you go to court, and the judge says you only get 50%... Why the fuck would you bother putting money into this thing that won't be fairly divided.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 08:38 PM
1

And that is reflected in how the equity is split?
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 08:32 PM
0

If they simply split the house equity 50/50, will they do the same for the joint account that I exclusively direct deposit money into? If yes, should I transfer it to my personal account before the court date?
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 08:29 PM
1

I guess my question is in regards to payment history since the source of the cash flow has varied over time. Will they consider one person as having more equity in the house.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 08:20 PM
2

I struggled for a year, and I still struggle. I'm not even religious, per say. I got to talk to a Muslim at work about his beliefs and came to the conclusion that while they hold value, the holy books have been rewritten so many times, contain so many contradictions, and we're ultimately written by humans... it's simply not possible to hold ourselves to that standard. You can't make the other person loyal.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/24 08:02 PM
0

I don't disagree, I just think there's some nuance. Men shouldn't have a list like this either. Big tits. Makes great sandwiches. Greeted at the door with blowjob. You'd tell the guy to go fuck themselves. It's very similar. Like hey, you don't want a guy who spends his life mooching off of you but maybe at least hold a full time job. And by the same token maybe it's unreasonable to expect sex every time you walk in the door but a kiss hello and "You must be tired from laying bricks all day, can…
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/24 09:29 PM
1

Renaissance Periodization's youtube channel is leading the way in science back health and fitness content. The advice is more general, but he does on occasion talk about women specifically (when it's relevant). Good luck.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/24 09:10 PM
1

Oh! Awesome. I'm sorry I'm late, but congrats on being so fast to get it fixed.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/24 09:07 PM
1

It might be time to circle back around and talk about that again to see if you're still on the same page. If you're not on the same page, then figure out where either of you is willing to compromise.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/24 09:04 PM
2

I try to be a fairly masculine man. I absolutely loved when my wife would compliment my smell, cooking, or say "wth, why are you so good at everything?!".
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/24 09:02 PM
1

Ask him if he is satisfied with your sex life. Don't accept a quick response; really sit down and discuss it. He is right. It's art, but art is subjective; art can be anything. Porn has a sedating effect on men, so it can subdue the beast within us. It's not always this way, but it's better to act out your taboo fantasies in your mind/on a screen than in your neighborhood.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/24 08:56 PM
-3

I think we need to stop characterizing people we don't know as high/low value based on a set of predetermined traits and resources.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/24 08:35 PM
7

Beautifully said. I want someone who will make the same decision of unconditional love that I'm making in marriage. I don't care if we are homeless, ill, constantly bickering, etc; I will not leave you ever. Women seem to want an exchange of goods and services; sometimes they want money, sometimes children, sometimes a father figure, but always a transaction. I really want a woman to prove me wrong, but as it stands, I trust the loyalty of dogs and my mother, that's it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 06:39 PM
1

Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 10:20 PM
2

Thanks. It going on 1.5 years, hopefully something changes soon. I want to make changes but I can't make myself do stuff no matter how hard I try. I think it's an emotional block. I'm trying to get into therapy. My first therapist was a joke.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 06:42 PM
0

You can message me, friend.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 02:56 AM
2

Best sub on Reddit, I swear. 🤜
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 12:02 AM
2

I suspect the path is not set in stone. I think I will do a lot of retracing my steps. I've had plenty of anger at myself and her. But I'm hyper-compassionate, so I'm good at tempering or manifesting anger at will. Anyway, thank you for the guidance. No man ever steps in the same river twice. In some sense, she was never what I imagined; she was always every iteration of herself across time. I didn't just love the moment, and I love the potential I saw. I was not and am not blind to her bad qual…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/24 07:03 PM
1

I'm not disputing your opinion here but I am curious: do you believe marriage should be for life (no no-fault divorces)?
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/24 04:09 PM
1

How'd that go?
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/24 03:52 AM
1

Separated for a year. We are in the 60 waiting period now.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 11:42 PM
0

Woosh
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/24 03:34 PM
1

The comfort you should derive is not from the pain of others but from your relative ranking in the "worse" hierarchy.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/24 08:29 AM
2

Damn bro. I spent a year trying to find a job with my marketing degree. I did all the chores and all the cooking. That wasn't good enough for her.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 08:21 PM
2

Did she at least do all the housework and cooking?
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 03:26 PM
3

Mans search for meaning
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/24 09:37 PM
2

Mine wanted the divorce, I wanted to work it out. I picked up the divorce papers and she wants me to pay for half of her lawyer. I said fuck that noise, If I have to pay for half of her lawyer then I might as well get my own fucking lawyer. I make almost half what she makes.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 06:22 PM
3

Agreed.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 03:34 PM
2

Yup, I've seen some very hurt dudes here. It's saddest when they let it affect their children. I try to talk to them in a way that acknowledges their pain yet maintains a realistic perspective about the value of a woman as a wife and mother... but there are none so blind as those who will not see.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 04:54 AM
5

I left that one long ago. They have the same kind of folks over at nofap.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 03:18 AM
8

How physically fit are you to pull in these tiny women?
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 12:37 AM
2

Cheers mate. I appreciate you.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 12:31 AM
3

I like your candor.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 12:24 AM
-2

Hey man, look I don't know your situation but I really think a good matriarchal figure would benefit all of you. Otherwise they just have the example of their mother.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 12:02 AM
1

I definitely struggle with this; mainly my inability to use my degree and my weight (5'8", 209lbs) because I carry a lot of fat in my ass and chest.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 12:00 AM
4

Thanks, Doc Brown.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 11:56 PM
2

It sounds like we have similar experiences and values. I hope to find someone who value gratitude, humility, and awe. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 11:19 PM
3

I feel everything you said except all the date stuff. Maybe I'm just more introverted. I'm not opposed to dates once a week or so, but I hope there is someone who can be happy sitting at home simply existing together.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 10:27 PM
2

Very inspiring. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 10:13 PM
2

Thank you. Before, did you believe that your ex wife provided those things? I'm not saying I think my ex wife provided those things but I do believe my retrospective vision is biased.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 10:12 PM
2

Dogs and close family. If I cuddle my dogs before falling asleep I find myself smiling and not even realizing I did it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 10:47 PM
2

I think it would be cool to date someone who is spiritual in the sense of finding deeper meaning in established religions and taking morals/lessons from here there, and everywhere. Someone who is very open yet conscientious.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 05:21 PM
7

We had it out today. Luckily, Nebraska is single-party consent, so I recorded it. I'd share but nobody wants to hear 9 minutes of that. It was mostly her trying to gaslight me. I think she tries painting me as the bad guy to ease her guilt.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 01:00 AM
3

I appreciate the advice though. Got any more?
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 12:57 AM
4

She sent it to me. https://postimg.cc/0Mm5cky3
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 12:46 AM
-1

The sheriff came when I was at work. They left a note for me to set up a time but what's the point. There's no way to have legal representation for what I want.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 07:56 PM
1

What is the difference, what changes if I volunteer to sign vs if I don't? It's not like I have any power here. https://postimg.cc/0Mm5cky3
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 07:03 PM
3

Same age. Nearly the same situation. When she told me she was leaving, I felt like I let everyone down, including my dead relatives and children who had not yet conceived. I went to the garage, where I punched, kneed, and elbowed the metal door🚪 with feelings of anger towards myself until the door was deformed and no longer functional. I didn't do anything egregiously wrong (just complacent), but I felt like I did. I wanted kids when we had more money... I didn't understand how strongly I wanted…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 08:11 AM
2

Have you read Man's Search for Meaning? People find meaning via actions, relationships, or innately. Fortunately or unfortunately, I fall into the innate meaning group and a little of the relationship group. I have a natural love of life; it's why I'm still here despite recently losing my childhood home, grandmother, wife, and having my life flipped upside down. I'm not the kind to join clubs, go to bars, golf, or do other activities to which to attach my ego. I enjoy well-cooked meals, nature, …
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 12:14 PM
-1

Lol the names a reference to reddit accounts. Maybe that is the dependency too.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 11:54 PM
-4

Those experiences ring hollow without someone to enjoy them with.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 09:45 PM
1

Wow, that's precisely the truth. Granted, I could have done more self-improvement but the rest is spot on. She left because she wasn't happy. She saw youtube/insta couples buying big houses and traveling the world with their kids... "Why can't we do that. It's not fair. I feel like I'm driving the marriage." I wanted stability to raise kids; she wanted everything right now. No, you won't be happy if you come home and pass out in a depressed stupor every day. I will fight tooth and nail to get ba…
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 02:10 AM
2

To the best of my knowledge the marriage was genuine. I was never led to believe otherwise. She is from Japan and she was able to stay longer because we married but that was a secondary effect. I love my wife with all of my heart. One year after she asked for divorce and I still dream about her, I still have moments of deep emotional pain every day.. last night I dreamed she asked for a divorce.. I said, "but they (dogs) need you.. I need you..."
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 01:51 AM
1

Call me old fashioned, but till death is till death. Whether they want to leave, are abusive, etc., you signed up to help that person with anything they are dealing with and vice versa. It's a lifelong commitment to the innate goodness of marriage and that person's potential.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 01:36 AM
1

Seeing as we can't trust people to be moral, I want some form of legal barrier. If they want out of the marriage then let them prove how badly they want it and jump through a bunch of hoops.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 12:00 AM
2

What good is a legally binding marriage if you can fucking walk away when you get sad.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 07:43 PM
-1

Of course, there are differences and innate psychometric predispositions. Still, even with a predisposition, there exists a spectrum of personalities, with some women undoubtedly inhabiting the margins more akin to that male sentimentality.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/24 08:31 PM
-1

It seems bizarre that you are generalizing half of the human population. I wouldn't even mind if you said "IMO" but to state it as fact feels wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/24 08:15 PM
1

I already have two dogs. I'm not the kind of person to desire friendship. I have none as is. I just want a good wife.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/24 05:34 PM
3

Of course. You have to be careful to marry the right person or spend your life being resentful.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 09:42 PM
7

Exactly! I'll drive 3 hours in a white out blizzard to bring you to my place for the first time. I'll drive 2 hours randomly in the middle of the night to check on you because you won't respond to housemates, you got wasted, and sliced your arm. I will never leave you for any reason... but if someone has greater earning potential than me... I'm worthless.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 09:41 PM
0

Oh dude, I am checking out your profile, and I see you left a comment that I almost replied to earlier today. "Turned demon" feels very accurate to that beginning stage of resentment. Is something happening on the fifth or are your referring to the Fifth Amendment?
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 04:31 AM
0

It's not "obvs"; specifically in the way I explained. You came here with nothing constructive, only ad hominem attacks. You grow up.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 04:22 AM
-1

Are you comforting me by implying she comes to see me as well, or are you insulting me by calling me a dog?
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 04:04 AM
1

Thank you. I've incorporated a few principles into my life from psychology, stoicism, Buddhism, Christianity, etc. Most recently, I listened to "Man's Search for Meaning". Wow, that is a must-read. You should have to read that to graduate high school. Consequently, I've recently been interested in terror management theory and the existential vacuum.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 03:37 PM
1

You nailed it. She used to watch this (aussie/american) youtube couple Jess and Gabe and lament about how we didn't have money to travel like them or why we didn't have a baby yet. She would scroll through insta and be sad that her "friends" from a decade ago were having babies. Did we marry the same woman? Lol Don't get me wrong, we had some extraordinary times together; that's why I'm not giving up. But the negativity may well be the death of her.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 02:33 PM
4

Wow, what a psycho. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 11:23 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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