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View 3 posts and 33 comments by 94Questra on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
75

Need Support94Questra/r/Divorce_Men23/12/25 08:45 PM
7

Need Support94Questra/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 02:20 AM
2

94Questra/r/Divorce_Men14/06/25 04:06 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
7

two months in and the one thing I can't get over is just how lonely I am. Part of me still feels a massive stigma attached to being left by my wife, but I keep reading stories of others. Many people act like a divorce is no big deal. Hell, they are dating during separations, before the divorce is final. And right now? I cannot stomach the thought of dating anyone after her. We were married for 15 years and I am not sure I will ever look for another woman. Maybe in time I will change. But right n…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 08:30 PM
12

I was with my wife for 18 years. And I can't get over how alone my life is now. I don't want to be with her. But I also don't want to be with anyone else after what she did to me. The divorce was only finalized a month ago so maybe things will change but the thought of finding someone new? It doesn't appeal to me in the slightest.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 03:43 AM
3

I was a wreck. I made plans to sign my dog up for an event the day of the divorce to make sure I got out of the house and it was a terrible mistake. I left early and went home.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 02:55 AM
12

Going through my divorce the stuff that came out of my wife's mouth was unhinged. She was saying stuff about me that simply wasn't true and when I confronted her about it and walked her though the untruths and assumptions beneath them she realized it. But, it made clear that other women had her ear. And she was listening. What amazed me most was the "support" that my wife got during the divorce. She continued to live with me so I had hear her as she planned her new life. As she told her story. A…
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 05:57 PM
4

FWIW- If you think that this is going to end in divorce the best thing you can do is not follow her social media. She is going to be showing her "new" life without you and it is gonna suck, no matter what it is. If you are hoping to see her posting things about how much she misses you, its not gonna be on there. Social media is performative. My ex was SUPER active on Instagram and after she told me she wanted a divorce, I deleted my account. One of the best decisions I made. She is out there liv…
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 02:35 PM
2

The answer to this question varies by state, duration of the marriage, all of that. You need a lawyer to give you good advice on what she is going to ask for and what a court would be likely to award if you can't come to an agreement on your own.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 03:15 AM
5

So sorry man. Going through the same thing here as my wife moved out yesterday. We had been together for almost 18 years, married for 15. And because I have to go to court with her this week to (hopefully) finalize things.. well, I can't even go see my family that are out of town. So yeah. Just me alone for Christmas for the first time.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 10:40 AM
2

I can tell you that my wife went all in on Instagram a while back. It got to the point where she spent more time on Instagram than in real life. But what is funny is, she was never posting thirst trap pictures or anything like that. It was all just "lifestyle" stuff. Pics of the dog at events or her with animals. Pics of her staging flowers or plants. I mean, most of her posts are landscapes and other still life pictures she has taken. Absolutely nothing that was remotely designed to get male at…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 10:20 PM
17

My wife is moving out tomorrow morning. I can't fucking handle it. I don't know what to do. I am watching 18 years walk away. I have to go to court this week for the divorce decree. A court proceeding to get a sheet of paper that says I am unlovable. I can't deal with it at all.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 04:46 AM
1

Thank you for posting this. I am in virtually the same space. She is moving out in less than two weeks. Taking one dog leaving one behind. We had no kids and were married for 15 years. I am dreading the loneliness. The emptiness of the house once she is gone.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 11:10 AM
4

My wife waited and waited. Now we have a court date of December 23. Two days before Christmas. We had been together for almost 18 years. Married for 15. And I am going to wake up on Christmas Eve morning alone. In the house I bought for us. The house she wanted. She is taking her stuff and moving out of state, leaving me behind and I am fucking dreading it. My family is out of town. She strategically went to certain members of our friend group during the split and now I don't feel comfortable wi…
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 11:08 AM
3

I have to admit that I am struggling with this. I didn't use to be a home body but my marriage turned me into one. And now after 15 years of marriage, my wife has left I am alone. She strategically went to friends to get her side of the story out, because she left me, which really reduced my support network. People say that I need to embrace my passions but the problem is, I don't remember my passions anymore. It used to be soccer, but injures and old age (I'm turning 50 next year) have put my p…
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/25 03:26 PM
1

I am about to go through this myself. I put her first. Planned everything for us. But asking me to start my life? Shit I don't even know what my life is anymore. I loved playing soccer. But I haven't done that as I need a knee replacement (I'm late 40s and was married for 15 years) I used to love going to concerts but we moved out to the 'burbs. And as much as I miss going to shows, I don't miss shared living. So if I can keep the house I will be doing so. (her plan is to move out of state) And …
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 08:56 PM
14

You are so right. My wife's best friend left her husband and shortly thereafter,my wife said she was leaving me. And their sporadic conversations have become far more frequent. And it doesn't just have to be in person conversations either. My wife is very active on social media and the number of influencers that specialize in women's self discovery and independence that she fell in with definitely pushed in that direction too.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 11:44 PM
2

I would recommend speaking with a lawyer generally. I am in Illinois and my wife and I are doing something similar (without kids) and we worked with an attorney who specializes in collaborative divorce. Basically the atty sat down with both of us and we kind of explained what we had in mind and the attorney provided feedback, explained how courts review divorce decrees, offered guidance on how to reach our goals, walked us through the process etc. I think it was 350 an hour (which isn't cheap bu…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 09:26 PM
4

I have had a lot of the same thoughts. They way she acted after she asked for the divorce? It drives me nuts. She is already planning her new life, all the way across the country. I don't want to see her new house or anything. I hear parts of conversations (We still live together for now) and she is up for a new job and a promotion. She thinks she is winning. I hate it. She's the woman who abandoned me after my surgery and left me on so many occasions when I needed help and yet, when I hear her …
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 05:23 PM
1

FWIW, someone told me that if I couldn't see the divorce coming, I can't really predict what her behavior would be going forward and man were they correct. Do the best that you can and remember, you have to to get through this. For yourself and your kids. There is no other option. You just HAVE to push on and survive as best you can.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 03:18 PM
3

I was in a similar situation. This year would have been our 15th Anniversary but two months ago, I get home from work one day and, out of nowhere, she says she wants a divorce. No warning. Says she doesn't want to discuss counseling or anything. Similar to you, she says I'm a "great guy" but that she doesn't love me. Once she said she wanted a divorce, her behavior became very erratic. It became evident that she didn't see me as such a good guy after all and the woman who I see now is NOT the sa…
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 10:03 PM
6

Thanks for sharing. You're right... the rejection hurts just as much, if not more. She chose herself. Her future. Over me and our past together. She thinks her life would be better without me in it, and to have that come from the one person that I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with? That hurts. We have to go to court so she can get a judge to validate her belief that this whole marriage? it isn't worth it to her. I am genuinely dreading the day we have to go to court and final…
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 01:36 PM
3

It is crazy to me that a friend group can exert such a strong influence. I am sorry to hear about that. Its so shitty man and I am sorry you are going through it too
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 11:46 PM
3

Holy shit. My wife's "best friend" has been complaining about her husband for the past few years I recall hearing stories about that friend being afraid that her husband was going to physically harm her, he was emotionally abusive, he engaged in self harm, they were in therapy, etc. A few months ago the friend called my wife, told here that she was thinking of leaving her husband. And then, out of nowhere, my wife tells me she wants a divorce. I get the sense that the "best friend" (who was her …
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 11:28 PM
3

I'm dreading this. My wife has been packing for weeks. The house is full of boxes. I know that one day, the movers are going to show up (I don't plan to wait around while she moves out) and I am going to come home to an empty house. The thought of it honestly scares me.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 03:16 AM
1

My wife told me she wanted a divorce. Didn't want to discuss it. Made a unilateral decision.And it sucked. As far as the house goes, it depends on where you live, when you file for divorce, etc. Where I live, the house is marital property and the person that wants to retain the house has to pay out the other person's share of the equity. So my wife decided that she doesn't love me any more, blows up my life, and gets to walk away with a check.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 11:03 AM
2

Unfortunately the comments regarding marital property are correct. The stuff that was in your account prior to the marriage is yours, but once you are married? Those funds are subject to division. IL has a statutory calculation for the distribution of funds for child support and maintenance (alimony) based upon the length of the marriage, income, etc. Depending on how contentious the divorce is, you guys can negotiate a disposition that you'd both agree to but if you think litigation is in your …
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 10:58 AM
1

My own two cents? Money was tight for us and the state we live in offers something called a collaborative divorce. So we put the broad outline of an agreement in place then worked with a mediator on how to accomplish it all. So when my wife files, she will file with a completed decree attached so the court date is (hopefully) a mere formality. It is a hell of a lot cheaper than both of us lawyering up
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/25 06:17 PM
15

My wife has yet to file and still lives with me. I hear her work calls and phone conversations. I've lost track of how many times I have heard a female friend or colleague talk about how brave she is. How strong women are. All of those platitudes. None of them know me. Knew our marriage. Hell. I don't think they even know that she is the one filing for divorce or the cost that it is taking on me. And she doesn't care which means, neither do they. I hate it. The last three months have been awful.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/25 11:32 AM
1

My ring is titanium. Any advice on how to destroy that?
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 04:07 PM
1

I am struggling to get to this point. She told me she wanted a divorce the first week in June and we are still living together. Most of the stuff she is saying to me sounds like a complete stranger. And how eager she is to push through the divorce proceedings? I just can't believe that this was the woman I married.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 06:17 PM
10

Honestly, how do you transition to a new, post marriage life? I am retiring from this job in 5 years. We had plans and now? I don't know what my future holds. I look and i just... emptiness and it scares the shit out of me. I will be 54, starting a new career, and likely moving. And, I am going to have to do it on my own.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 06:11 PM
3

So sorry to hear. I am going through the same thing right now. I constantly put her first, agreeing to make sacrifices to make sure she was happy. It was only recently that I explained this to her and less than a month later, she said she was leaving me. No counseling no therapy. Not even a discussion of what went wrong. Just a simple, we aren't compatible. I want to be selfish and live my life. I don't feel for you how you feel about me. Each line hurting more than the last. This was supposed t…
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 05:41 PM
1

I bought a titanium ring and my high school science knowledge leads me to believe that it will largely be indestructible so I may end up just pitching it. I will be curious to know what my (soon to be ex) wife is going to do with her rings. I didn't have a lot of money but they were both platinum bands so not exactly cheap. And a few small diamonds on the engagement ring. I guess maybe she can pawn them?
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 05:45 PM
2

The line you wrote "As you navigate your journey, it might be helpful to remember that the person you married isn't the same as the person you divorced. While she may look familiar, it’s important to recognise that people change" Could not be more important. I am really struggling right now (she asked for a divorce in June and we still live together) because the stuff she is saying? There is no way that the woman that I married would say this stuff. But this version of her? It isn't the same per…
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 05:16 PM
2

My wife is pushing for a mediator as well as we don't have the liquid assets to pay for attorneys at 350 an hour each. Still haven't found someone that specializes in "collaborative divorce" yet. Can't believe that that term is in my search history now.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 10:55 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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