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Acceptable_Piano4809 Archive

View 7 posts and 1,076 comments by Acceptable_Piano4809 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Def do not do this without thinking it over in every way possible.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 12:49 PM
8

Dude how old are you?? Because this isn’t car shopping, and you’re not going to suddenly become ready to start dating (🤣) by October…. You understand that right? Hell I got separated/divorced in Oct of 2022, and I’m still not dating. I’m also 45. Breaking no contact feels horrible, but you know what doesn’t? Keeping your streak going. It will actually make you feel better about yourself knowing you aren’t the one who broke contact, but that comes after time. You need to start woeey
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/26 06:40 PM
2

Just remember when you say “her past choices should have no consequences towards me” that the key word is “should”. What should happen and what does happen are two very different things sometimes.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 11:37 PM
3

I WISH I would have fired my lawyer sooner. A lot of them have no loyalty or no sense of duty, a lot of family law attorneys know each other and work together with each other. They know you probably arent going to he a repeat client, its not like they hope you use them for your next divorce. A lot of them want to settle and just type up some paperwork and collect a check. I had an attorney who wanted me to settle more than anything. I should have known when my ex wifes attorney said she was “gla…
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/26 04:41 PM
6

Reading your post, I can tell you already know it’s over. And I’d advise you to trust your gut on this one, as I didn’t, and I’ve never regretted anything more. Usually way too late my guy. Most guys put a ton of effort into their marriage and they won’t just throw it away. My ex wife used this to monkey branch, and was gone way before I realized it was too late. In hindsight, she prob lived with me for years while she shopped around. It had me in shock, still does, as I do not just quit on thin…
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 08:12 PM
1

I’m very sorry this happened to you, it’s NOT fair and your ex totally took advantage of being the woman. And I don’t mean any offense against you when I say this… I am not a guy that is loud about women’s rights or roles in society, but I think being a “SAHD” is a terrible idea, in almost all cases. For one, you’re depending on a woman to stay honest, and give you your credit as a father. I do not trust that would happen. I can see this becoming a situation that is ripe for destruction. In othe…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 02:43 PM
5

I can tell you as a child of an ugly divorce, the more my mom pushed another man into the picture the faster I wanted out!
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 02:36 PM
3

OMG dude this is sooooo fucking low! I applaud at how you’ve handled this! Your STBX is a total POS! Remember, most of the time they need to make stuff up to themselves! Extra special caution to you being a BM. I feel for you and just have to be careful, and DO NOT make anything personal. The cops will prejudice you for sure, 100%, and it’s complete BS and it makes me so pissed when anyone takes advantage of this (like your MiL). The second you take anything personal it becomes that cop vs you, …
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 09:06 PM
6

100% our minds play tricks on us when you’re in love with someone. And that is the ultimate test. What I’ve realized as I’ve gotten older, is almost every woman can look decent and they ALL can look like total shit! It’s all about the point of reference. But NEVER EVER EVER think ANY woman is special because of her looks. I guarantee this is not true. Whats that thing they say about life? Death and taxes… and every single woman will lose her looks when she gets old. Also, the prettier they are, …
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/26 12:43 AM
4

100%!
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 10:52 PM
7

You actually gain a way out of a life with a cheating monster if you play it right. And if it’s your first marriage, and first divorce, you can salvage your life if you do it right…. Most of us cannot protect ourselves from that first marriage because no one goes around spreading the truth at what a trap marriage is. It’s one of those things, once you know, you KNOW! Before you see the truth, you won’t even know what to look for.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 10:51 PM
18

I’m sorry! If I could tell you anything it’s this: The laws are written so the judge can interpret them almost any way he wants. Your divorce will be decided by whoever writes the narrative. With kids involved, I STRONGLY RECOMMEND YOU TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY AND DO NOT LET YOUR FEELINGS OR EMOTIONS FOR HER MANIPULATE THE CASE! Decide you’re going to do this and DO NOT waiver. Hire the best possible attorney on Monday and DO NOT tip her off. This attorney will set things up so YOU can write the narr…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 10:47 PM
1

I’ve paid for nicer titties than these!
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 06:09 PM
2

I feel bad for her, when she turns around 35 and those are just two plastic sacks of gel inside her chest.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 06:09 PM
12

I spent $5k on Invisalign/dentist appointments…. The real value is she didn’t get pregnant with me, and I don’t have to pay for some child that I never get to see whose lazy family has no ambition. She took my dog without letting me say goodbye, she’ll do the same thing to her AP and their child that I’m paying to raise. I wanted a kid so bad, but not that way. I’m a child of divorce, and it’s such a horrible thing all the way around. It’s like having to live through your own death.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 06:08 PM
2

Def look at how she treats the people that are most important to her. Does she take advantage of the fact her mom would never abandon her (and therefore disrespect and treat her like shit)? Those are the worst kind of people.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 06:24 PM
3

God man, I am so sorry to read this. I’m so glad youre doing better!
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 08:43 PM
3

It’s hard to accept it, because most of us see the signs and we ignore them, or look the other way. We don’t want it to be true. What this does is allows her to get closer to the AP and then she starts trying to come up with reasons why she should leave you. “He’s impatient, and I hate it when he does this”. Then next time you’re in a car at a yellow light and you go, it confirms she was right “STOP!! God you always fly through red lights don’t you care I’m in here???” Then it confirms she’s on …
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 07:53 PM
3

I’m sorry to hear about this man, it’s never easy and odds are you didn’t do anything wrong. You may think you have because she’s been gaslighting you, but you sound like you really loved her and would really do anything. Unfortunately, that makes her even less attracted to you. But this is a gift in disguise.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 07:46 PM
4

My guy, same exact thing happened to me, and I couldn’t understand it. In hindsight she was unsure of how things would go w the new guy, so she stuck around with me. In hindsight it’s so easy to see that the last 2-3 years of our marriage was always so “rocky” because she was never even trying. I would do everything I could to work on her concerns, which were BS anyways, it’s only because of her unhappiness, we ever had any issues. I’m not Superman, no one is. I was a damn good husband, and I wo…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 07:44 PM
3

Yea, usually by the time something like this goes down, it’s prob a year and three months or longer. That sounds realistic. Longer than that seems reasonable. 3 months sounds delusional.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 04:42 PM
11

My friend she has been cheating on your since before last May. I predict it was so long ago, she was getting away with it and last May is when she decided it was no longer any fun to hide it from you and she stopped caring whether youd find out. The last 3 months shes been in a committed relationship and doesn’t want to cheat on the guy with you. Or the guy wants her to leave. Don’t think she gave your marriage anywhere close to a fair chance. But that’s besides the point. She doesn’t care that …
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 04:41 PM
1

Man, this feels so familiar. I could feel it coming too, even though I didn’t admit it or know what it was, I could def feel it. I would say this; she will blame you regardless of what happens, it’s all your fault. Just know that she will take zero accountability either way, so do not let that affect your decisions. Also, she will want you to leave because women feel super insecure cheating and asking for maintenance. If you were paying for things, she will feel way more guilty than you think or…
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/26 11:04 PM
3

Yes exactly!! My ex wife did this to me too, not nearly this long, but I was one of those guys that thought my marriage was this sacred thing. Sunken cosy fallacy. And I would have done anything to repair it or keep it “my first real love” (because she was my very first serious live in GF). I didn’t want to let that go. In the process I let her abuse the shit out of me, and it made things ever worse and lowered her opinion of me even more. She thought “this guy is total loser for letting me get …
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 04:40 PM
1

Yea agreed, I’m on the side where I can’t see this ever being a good idea. If you cheated, there was a reason for it. If she cheated, she cheated. And this doesn’t mean whatever happened is all her fault, it just means going forward this is broken. A relationship is like a brand new car. Once it gets crashed, you can pay someone top dollar to fix every little thing, make it even better than it was before, but it will never ever be as good as it was. Nothing can change that. Sometimes you just ne…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 04:31 PM
1

Yes, exactly. Just the mention of rebuilding gives them leverage over you, as if anything doesn’t work out guess who’s fault it’s going to be? What is in this for you my guy? I don’t know what happened but don’t let her abuse you.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 04:28 PM
4

If you take her back, all this does is makes her believe “wow he’s such a loser he’ll even take me back!” It’s a self hatred thing and they start to resent that you don’t put your foot down and kick her out / leave / and the marriage, etc. Meanwhile if this is your first marriage, you’re thinking “I just want my freaking life back, what is she so upset with?!” Because if you’re in what you assume is a good DRAMA FREE marriage, where you play your part and you’re putting your best effort in. Are …
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 04:26 PM
1

Yea once they learn they CAN have an affair, a lot of them do. A lot of people and especially women place a lot of their self worth on their looks. Well everyone loses their looks, and when that’s gone, a lot of them have nothing left. I think for men this isn’t as bad because a lot of us don’t place most of our self worth on our looks. We are taught from when we are young that beauty is only skin deep, and a lot of us need to develop that self worth in other areas. Then it doesn’t hit us so har…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 01:48 AM
1

It really is sad. You will learn almost everything they taught us growing up was wrong. The more you believe it, or the more hope you had, the worse it comes crashing down when you learn how it all really works. I’m still learning to this day!
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 01:41 AM
2

Oh man, tik tok was prob just as harmful to our society as drugs. So many families I’ve heard about breaking up because the grass is greener and the instagram is better.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 01:39 AM
4

Wow I’m glad I got out of my marriage before all of this.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 09:44 PM
1

Everything you describe is exactly how a lot of men feel before divorce. Feeling like you’re roommates with your wife is such a red flag and almost anyone whose wife had an affair knows exactly what this feels like. No one else can make this decision for you, and I won’t suggest I anything other than saying almost everyone wishes they had divorced sooner. Out of all my reaearch reading and experiencing divorce the last 4 years, I have never read about someone who felt like they were roommates wi…
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/26 05:13 PM
2

I was just going through the transcript from my divorce hearing. It’s super weird to read the sentence “why is it out of line to ask the man who’s living with my clients wife, how much money he makes?” I focused in on “my clients wife”. God this entire thing is just crazy and I’ll never go through it again!
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/26 08:00 PM
1

You owe her a husband that has a chance at building happiness. Whatever that means for you, you owe it to your wife. She can literally he the reason you need to divorce. If she won’t allow you the possibility to find a better future (with or without her, but ideally with) you owe it to her to allow her to find that. You need to really zoom out here and look at the big picture. If you don’t think there’s a way for you to get there, then you have to do what you have to do. You owe it to yourself a…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/26 07:57 PM
8

I don’t miss her specifically AT ALL! I lucked out in that I cannot stand my ex wife. But I do miss the married life. I miss having a partner by my side. It’s more during the Sunday nights, and Tuesday mornings than it is weekends. I miss having someone call in the food I pick up on the way home. I miss buying someone a random gift when I see it. I miss the walks and the day trips to go hiking or going to see a new movie. But I do not miss HER. I’m thankful she was such a difficult monster durin…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/26 01:42 AM
20

Different. That’s for sure. I was just like most of us, happy wife happy life, paid everything, she cheated on me and left, but not before taking half of my net worth. “Simping” is what the kids are calling these days. But I’m learning. Women? Never again! Putting myself first. I don’t even care about sex anymore. It’s not worth it. And women my age will date for life. Meaning there are some that just live in a temp apt until they find some guy they can leach off like a parasite and repeat what …
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/26 01:38 AM
15

Oh I’m sorry man… she is 100% cheating on you… You need to start looking at like as a single man, as that’s what you are now. But things will get better. Don’t blame BC, I mean, that is not why things went down like this did. You’re lucky she didn’t have a child!
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 11:44 PM
2

Oh, 100%; she knew it would really piss him off, and that’s why it was done. That’s why I don’t believe it. The odds she would accidentally send him something that’s relevant to their relationship is the key. It was the same w my ex, never ever did she accidentally send me anything until the end, then it was “oops” 🙄
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 05:13 PM
1

And the 2% she’s giving you, you’re lucky to get 🤦‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 04:02 AM
7

Dude just turn this around and imagine you’re a female and she is a male. You wouldn’t even be asking this.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 03:59 AM
4

That’s usually how it starts. In your experience, do you accidentally text people you didn’t mean to? For me it’s less than 1 in 1000 texts, maybe 1 in 10,000. For it to happen one time…. Maybe…. But if she’s accidentally texted you more than that??? This is just based on me living life, and it’s literally less than 1 in 1,000, I’m confident it’s 1 in 10,000 or less.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 11:23 PM
23

When a married guy comes on here and his wife suddenly wants to “explore life on her own” or any of the million ways they say it, it sounds ridiculous to anyone who isnt being actively gaslit and abused. Women do not just decide they want to be single, there is almost always someone, and they almost always monkey branch. When you say she “accidentally” texted you, I would be very careful as this almost never happens and my ex wife pulled something like this too towards the end. They do this for …
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 10:47 PM
2

Wrong place to be asking buddy. This isn’t dating over 30
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 10:23 PM
-1

I’m not a parent but I can see your point.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 10:22 PM
3

Yes 100% she was cheating on you, but it doesn’t matter now anyways. It’s not like the situation is any different now. It’s amazing how good these liars are, and I had one too OP.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 10:20 PM
5

100% she is cheating.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 10:19 PM
11

Oh my friend, you still believe she wasn’t cheating? I know it’s hard to believe but she is good at what she does. You’re much better off without her, and the new guy has no idea what he’s in for (just like you didn’t).
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 10:18 PM
4

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this! Please be careful with what you say and do around her.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 06:44 PM
3

Yea this is BS OP! I would be pissed too. Whoever is doing this is a predator and is preying off guys that are freshly divorced. If you get a message from anyone like this, report them, even if you don’t like to get involved, because it’s helping the next guy out. Makes me sick someone would do this!
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 01:19 AM
5

My ex really gaslit me really badly for a long time like this. She would come up with something that would be impossible for me to prove, like how much I’m paying attention to her. It’s not quantifiable, it’s just her feelings. So at anytime she could just claim that she feels “unappreciated” and she has a reason to be upset. Be careful because you’re getting into some really sticky stuff. There is no way for you to prove you appreciate her enough.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 07:30 PM
2

I feel you man and I agree with you. My ex had zero accountability for anything. It was all my fault, I worked too much and all I cared about was money, and she didn’t work at all. Really easy to say when you’re not responsible for anything.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 07:19 PM
4

Oh this drives me crazy, as they can just cherry pick the stuff they want credit for, and you’re stuck with the blame for everything else.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 07:12 PM
15

Just look at how different men v women are in our society. Let’s take the average adult life that begins at 18 (for this argument): A man has to develop a “life”, get a job, go to school, do something so they can “be” something. A woman can do all that if she chooses, but there’s another option for her. She can choose to let her raw biology function and become a mother. She doesn’t have to learn or do anything other than become pregnant and let her body create the baby, and then after she has th…
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 07:10 PM
1

See, I read this and I’m glad my wife left me when she did. I was not going to put up with that. I’m sure she’s much worse than she was when she left (she was 36, she just turned 40).
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 06:42 PM
1

This literally happened to me, not with the weight loss thing, but my ex wife was buying new underwear and it sure wasn’t for me. I never thought she’d ever think about cheating, we had a great marriage so I thought. But I just couldn’t figure it out; she told me “I want to look good for myself.” That was total bullshit, people do not dress up for themselves. It was just gaslighting, and she projected the cheating onto me, as she started accusing me of cheating when I was working late. I did not…
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 06:39 PM
3

Sorry OP that you have to deal with this. Fortunately we didn’t have a kid, so I didn’t have to watch her take advantage of that, but she was so abusive. She thinks she is gods gift to this world and when something affects her, you better look out. People like this are proactively punishing you for next time. My ex wife wanted to make me having friends so fucking miserable and embarrassing, I’d never want to go out with friends again, and that’s exactly what she did. Controlled almost everything…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 02:19 AM
2

You got this my man… 🤛 You will get through this and someday you’re going to look back on all this as the beginning to something a whole lot bigger than a marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 11:53 PM
1

You’re not pathetic at all man. You are a good dad! You need to get away from her drama and take care of yourself. She doesn’t deserve you.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 11:49 PM
5

Buddy, I know where you are, I was in the same exact spot in 2023. My ex blindsided me out of nowhere and suddenly moved out. It wasn’t for 6 months that I found out she had been having an affair the entire time. She made it illegal for me to contact her for anything, and we don’t have mutual friends so I had no clue what was going on in her life. I went from thinking we were about to start a family to single and fighting a divorce case while paying temp maintenance. It’s insane, and the very la…
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 11:45 PM
2

Yea man, she’s not going to change her mind. It took me some time too to just get off the ground. You’re dizzy at first from all the cortisol. You will be fine, in fact things are going to start changing for you.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 10:36 PM
5

None. Please let her go my man. Do it for you, not her. We don’t care about her. You need to accept that you have to do life now as a single guy. But guess what?? This means life is going to get a lot better from here. This doesn’t have to be fast, you can take your time, but you will make it through this to the other side and this is a gift. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 10:35 PM
1

Yes they do! My lawyer and my exs lawyer both wanted to settle the case. To the point my lawyer called me the night before the trial and scared me and shut his phone off. I was late to the trial the next day, but no one had any documents and my wife’s lawyer had to print out a copy of the exhibits and both the lawyers shared them. I didn’t settle
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 04:01 AM
2

It’s a very underserved demographic. I was just thinking recently how “Single Man” or “Divorced Man” just sounds bad. It makes me think less of myself subconsciously. No one has ever organized anything for us because no one wants to be us. No one is proud to be a divorced man, and that’s because it denotes a failed man, and usually even a divorced man shouldn’t be single long. Divorced guys in particular need a group like this to support their interests. It’s never been done because no one is pr…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 10:29 PM
1

100%, my grandpa was a Shriner and a Mason (where to this day they do not let women in). We don’t do things like this anymore really. This would be so awesome because I would actually join and possibly fly out to “events” if we had them. Like a convention at a casino, I’d fly out and hang out w you guys. Rather do that than complain how there’s nothing to do where I’m at. We could have one during Xmas one year instead of everyone complaining on here how “they’re all alone today”. And how much yo…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 07:04 PM
4

Would be really helpful I believe, especially to guys like me who were totally blindsided. Never mentioned the D word until she had already left the house. Then you get thrown into this entire world (divorce) you never dreamed you need to know anything about. Shit, I didn’t even know she was cheating on me when she first left, she told me she just wanted to get her own place for once. It wasn’t until 6 months after she left that I found out she was with another guy. It would have been BEYOND hel…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 06:55 PM
4

Has to remain non religious; there are enough religion affiliated support groups where there wouldn’t be a market for another one.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 06:01 PM
3

I’m in, we need someone to take it from here.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 06:00 PM
5

It wouldn’t be a union my guy, it would be an organization or a club type entity. I think this is an amazing idea! I would join for real. I’m a business guy OP, if you’re serious, or anyone else is, I’m sure between us guys here on Reddit in this sub, we have all the pieces. We just need to put them together. We need attorneys, someone who can legally set up the non profit entity, and have experience with the executive functions of a similar/exiting entity. We need someone who’s good at organizi…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 06:00 PM
5

I’d advise you to make sure you’re well aware of the most important law that trumps everything… The Judge can do whatever he wants, he can even rule that you lose on every issue, and still rule against you. And when it happens, they will be offended if you point it out, they look out for each other, and nothing makes them more angry than an appeal, especially when you have a rock solid issue of the judge making an error. They really hate that.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 06:07 AM
3

Wow! Well I was married 6.5 years and she got 2 years of maintenance, at $1600/month, w no kids. Here’s the thing w kids. They don’t look at it so much as “is this fair for the adults”. They want both you and your ex wife to have a similar standard of living. It’s totally unfair to you if you work a lot harder and make more money. The logic is that if you have a much nicer standard of living, your child will prefer to be at your house with you solely due to the resources you have available. So i…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 05:22 PM
5

I know where you’re at, and I’m in the same spot… I would say you have to find something that makes you happy and fall in love with that. And then make sure you keep that as your North Star. Meet people that are into what you do.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 08:31 PM
7

Was my biggest mistake, and changed the entire trajectory of everything for me. Went from planning on a family to never being able to have that. Changes why you get up in the morning, and if you get up in the morning (do I need to work today?… do I need to work ever?)… But OP is 100% right, the hardest part about divorce is losing that sense of why. And you never get it back, it’s going to be different for you for your remaining days here. Once you get to know it (I’m almost 3.5 years out) it ge…
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 10:09 PM
0

I will just say she’s almost surely cheating on you. I didn’t there there was any possible way mine could have been cheating and sure enough, she had been the entire time. I’ve come to have learned that almost never will a woman leave a situation that wasn’t abusive, until she has something else. Usually these women leave because the other guy wants them to, they want to spend time with the other guy, and they want to introduce the other guy into their world. Usually she is comfortable with gett…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 07:01 PM
5

GET A LAWYER NOW! Seriously, he doesn’t care. This is a job to him, and it’s your life! You need someone who understands that. My lawyer wanted me to settle w my ex, I was so frustrated I fired him, and I was right to do so.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 07:48 PM
1

It makes zero sense as both sexes would be much happier, but it’s the few that ruin it for the rest of us. Looks are the killer, and they won’t get you anything at the end of the day (I mean if you’re dating someone for their looks), and the better looking people are the worse they usually treat people, just in general.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 03:52 AM
1

It depends. If the sex life isn’t good and she’s not respecting your needs it’s not immature to want a divorce. We only live once and there’s a limited amount of time to have sex. When women withhold this (and I don’t mean being available whenever for whatever, but I mean legitimately withhold (I’ve experienced it, and yes she did understand what she was doing), that is a serious thing.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 02:33 AM
1

I don’t sleep around either but don’t have an issue w it. As long as everyone is honest and no one is misleading anyone, it’s not my business and it doesn’t concern nor bother me (as long as no one is cheating, I would never condone that). Women absolutely have an advantage when it comes to dating and sex. A normal looking guy can go years w no attention unless he’s trying. A normal looking woman will have opportunities constantly coming her way. They may not be the opportunities she wants, but …
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 02:22 AM
1

My ex didn’t even cover a bottled water everyday for herself for 4+ years. It is absurd that someone would think they just don’t have to take care of themselves, when literally every other creature that exists has to. People like that tend to think they are like royalty, and it’s a mental condition I would say. My ex left me and within 6 months she was pregnant and had quit her job. It’s so obvious to me what she wants in a partner first and foremost is someone who will provide her every need. I…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 01:03 AM
2

Oh I totally feel you on that one my guy, 100%! I have too much respect for the father if he’s at all involved and the relationship he has w his kids (I have a really good strong father) that I would never get involved in any kind of way. I’m right there with you, although I wouldn’t tell another guy not to date single moms, as that’s his choice. Some guys on here thinks it’s an absolute sin, and I understand why it can be a stage for abuse. It’s a situation a lot of guys get abused in. But I be…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 08:45 PM
1

For sure, I hear that. I don’t respect someone that’s not a good mother, but that means she won’t have time or flexibility to date me. So a single mother doesn’t make sense and a married one is offensive.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 08:36 PM
1

100%…. It breeds such resentment. I had a spouse that quit her job when we got married because I wanted to have a child. But she just put off really trying, and I own a business; so I took care of everything. She just had no respect for the extra stress she put me under, and then started complaining that I work too much. It’s the opposite of support.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 08:32 PM
5

Hell yea, life’s a game, and I’m good at it…. But it’s a single player game, at least mine is… and I roll solo, to pretty much everything. I am my own best friend, it means very very rarely am I lonely. I also have something going on, it’s usually not dating or sex. I’m a very successful investor, 45/M, I’m also president of a company. Ive had a good friend w a GF and 3 of her kids (they aren’t married) tell me he wishes he could live my life. I’m almost never and almost always alone.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 08:21 PM
6

I had a spouse who brought in 74 cents a day during the marriage. She was supposed to have a child, but she didn’t even try, she just kept making excuses why we were having less and less sex. I would say this, she is prob totally incapable of taking care of herself without a license. Before you met her, 12 years ago, what did she do for transportation? My ex moved out of her parents house into my already owned house, and she never made any payments whatsoever. She was basically a child, and she …
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 05:27 PM
1

What are you? I don’t get it?
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 05:21 PM
2

My ex said in our trial I was a narcissist. As if she has the ability to decide that.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 07:41 PM
2

A lot of times they need to make you be evil because they know what they’re doing to you is horrible, and doing it to a good person makes it all that much worse. If you’re a narcissist who they were never in love with, it makes it much easier to ask for alimony while they are living with their new BF. My ex did the same thing to me, we were together 10+ years and never really got into a fight, and then suddenly I was the controlling abusive narcissist. She still to this day tells herself I’m con…
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 07:39 PM
2

My advice is you do it now. Your kids will not benefit, you will be wasting 5 years of your life as well as your soon to be ex. It’s already over if you’re thinking about this. Good luck. I strongly advise you to start this now and not in the 2030s. It’s not fair to anyone in your family.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 03:58 AM
1

Oh my dude you caught her red handed, there is zero doubt at all in my mind about that, I’d be willing to bet anything. She is projecting her fears of cheating onto you, and she’s gaslighting you to make you feel insecure (like you’re invading her privacy) but 100% she is cheating. What you did takes guts, and I’m proud as hell if you! You did the uncomfortable thing and confronted the BS! I’m in the same position as you. I lived my entire adult life to start a family, and wanted to so everythin…
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 02:20 AM
4

Yea bro this doesn’t matter. Unless she’s your kids mom, she’s a complete stranger to you. My wife cheated on me and within 6 months was pregnant with a guy 12 years younger than I am. It blew me away, still does, as it’s changed my entire life. I stayed away from people for a long time as she was telling people I was abusive and crazy. This was over 3 years ago. Now I’ve talked to people since then and almost everyone thinks she’s the crazy one. Everyone knows she cheated, didn’t have to tell a…
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 05:16 PM
1

Make sure you use Gemini and ChatGPT to keep your lawyer in check. These tools are the legal professions worst enemy. But you can’t depend on them, lawyer w LLM (AI) is the way to go. And shop around. I had to replace my lawyer, as he was more interested in me settling the case than fighting it, and I wasn’t going to settle.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/26 02:56 AM
3

Yes! Get a lawyer my guy, as if your circumstances change, you need to file a new FDS. You’re technically under the order to keep an updated FDS on file until the case is over. File for a modification to maintenance amounts. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/26 02:51 AM
4

I went through this as the child, and I still get along way better w my dad. Moved in w him almost immediately after he got a place.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/26 12:11 AM
2

Wow OP, makes him mad? He’s mad at a child for talking about his father? Yea just keep doing what you’re doing, it can never hurt to document things. I highly recommend an Apple Watch, and set the button for record. It’s saved me a bunch of times as I’m not one to remember to record something but it’s always right there when I need it. Can record hours of audio too and can transcribe it now. It’s worth getting a smart watch just for that if you are going through a divorce. You never know when yo…
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/26 12:08 AM
3

Are you kidding me? I’m a small business owner and there’s not a chance in hell I’d give that out to my own ex wife for anything, let alone one of my employees. Not a single chance in all of hell.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 04:24 PM
3

Hell no! For what? Let me guess, she told you she was going to invade your privacy and air all your dirty laundry out?
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 04:22 PM
7

Without reading a word of your post: She is doing her job perfectly, as she INTENDED to make you feel like the villain. She’s going to push this narrative now for the rest of time. Do NOT believe the lies you’re telling yourself that you’re “not good enough.” She chose to blow it up, if she’s going to ask for support, she needs you to be a villain because cheating on and taking someone’s money, especially when that someone is the father of their child, requires a villain. She can’t go taking a g…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 05:14 PM
4

Here’s the thing, her parents don’t have any control over her feelings. I’m sure it feels good reaching out and connecting with her mom, and her mom sees this rationally. With my ex wife, she cheated on me with a guy 12 years younger than me, and not even close financially; every rational person could see I was a better choice as a husband. But love is not rational, and no one can make anyone else feel a certain way. When it comes to love, people are totally irrational. It doesn’t matter if you’…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 04:04 PM
2

Yes, but you’re better off just going at the LLM as if you are your ex wife vs telling it you’re going to role play as your ex wife as that gives it an extra layer of thought. In general you want to be as straight forward as you can. I use local LLMs w no RAG so there’s no context and as far as the model is concerned I was my ex wife. But in general both of us are right. Also, the “temp” chat button doesn’t do what it used to, it still keeps context so it doesn’t really matter what we are discus…
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 10:27 PM
1

It’s amazing how they can play the victim in every single situation, including lying, disrespecting and cheating, and turn it all around to be your fault. Like i just mentioned w my wedding, whenever something came up she needed an extra reason, me being 10 mins late to the wedding would come up. It’s extortion, you did this so I can do that!
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 09:30 PM
2

I’ve used it this same way and I too was a huge doormat that realized it after the relationship. I thought marriage meant I’d have SOME security, some commitment from her. But it was more of a way for her to get a big huge party thrown for free where she could show off all her pictures on Instagram. My ex was one of those women that do things solely for the Instagram picture. In fact, I was a few mins later to the wedding than she was demanding me to be (it’s my wedding day too right?) and I nev…
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 09:20 PM
1

You cannot rely on chatGPT to build your case. But you can use it to get an overall legal idea, and your arguments. It’s like a researching tool. It’s no different than using Google.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 06:44 PM
3

I’d disagree with that, it will always respond in a way to extend the engagement and pleasing the user is how it does that. So even if you tell it “be objective, be brutally honest, etc” it’s still choosing you are the user to please. Whereas if it believes your wife is the user, it will respond to her. This is what you want, as she’s going to approach your case from her point of view, thinking she’s right with all her biases. You want to know these so you can put together an opinion/response/ca…
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 06:42 PM
4

Same here fellas, we’re talking 5 figures here at least, rolling into 6. I wouldn’t advise anyone else to do this, but if you’re the kind of person that can take the bull by the horns and you’re not afraid of getting steamrolled, it can be incredible. In fact, I’d rather go at it with access to the internet, and my Mac Studio w LM Studio than an expensive lawyer (who did my own divorce trial, $25,000 fee). But you will get gaslit, you need to be really strong (they will make you feel like you’re…
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 06:02 AM
13

ChatGPT or any other LLM can work amazing with a divorce… BUT… they WILL be sycophantic, they will tell you you’re right, you can tell them you’re a god and they’ll ask how they should bow down to you…. This is what you do… you ask it questions you need to know, and then you start a new “Temporary chat” so it doesn’t know who you are, and you ask it the same questions about the same isssues but this time you role play as your wife, and you need to even use her point of view like you’re on her si…
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 05:58 AM
5

Agreed that she has moved on and agreed she will take advantage of everything she can at this point. Look at it this way, anything you do to accommodate her will not be returned. Any favors or any small “i usually do this and then next time she does that” arrangements are null and void. Any deals or agreements you had with her might not be upheld and you cannot trust her at this point. Shes an employee whos already quit if that makes sense. You cant give her the benefit of the doubt anymore. For…
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 07:47 PM
2

This happened with me too, where she just took and took and took until I couldn’t give anymore. The minute she had to do anything for herself she checked out. She convinced herself all i cared about was money, and she didnt work at all, and i worked too much. Just completely breeds resentment. I still resent her, as she left me for a guy and and now she HAS to work as he doesnt make enough and they had a child. I resent that she never even attempted to treat our marriage as a team, it was me car…
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 07:33 PM
4

This sucks man, and you’re prob fanning the flames; most affairs live off that oxygen that comes from sneaking around, it’s the rules being broke that make it a turn on, usually after they know you know, and you don’t care, it suffocates the flame and there’s no fuel left. But you cannot allow yourself to take her back. This is one thing you have to draw a line in the sand, or you’ll never be happy again. She permanently ruined your marriage when she decided to cheat. It’s like a brand new car, …
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 02:40 AM
1

Nice username! Creative, and def appropriate for this forum! 🤛
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 02:06 AM
-3

I wouldn’t have an issue w fake titties, I’d be more concerned about the mental reasons. My type isn’t someone to show their tits off, but if I met someone I liked who had a boob job due to insecurity, it wouldn’t be a deal breaker. It’s way less gross than some of these nail kits and belly wraps that some chicks do; that stuff can get really weird. I like my woman to have normal nails, at min no sharp tips. In general, the less makeup the better. Most guys are totally unaware of exactly how muc…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 02:02 AM
7

It’s….. fake! I’ve only felt them once so I wouldn’t know, the ones I felt were really tight/hard. But titties are titties, I’m more of an ass guy.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 01:52 AM
0

I’ve seen this guy here before many times, he’s a real account… OP, congrats on the new chick! And thanks for the idea…hmmmmm…. Wondering how weird it would be for a 45 year old man to “walk in” to a yoga class?
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 12:17 AM
1

My guy, she’s taking advantage of you, and you’re financing her and allowing her to do this to you. You don’t have any kids, why are you giving her money? She worked for 6 months, she’s capable of working, but if you’re paying for things, she doesn’t have to! This causes you to have to work more, and gives her time away from you to be doing who knows what (seriously, w no job or responsibilities, that is a massive amount of time, and she needs to do something to fill it.) I think she prob has a …
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 10:24 PM
10

It is legit unsettling to hear someone has such a twisted and different version of the past. She was so convincing that she believed herself, it scares me as could i be getting things wrong? But I’ve went through the text messages, and im appealing the judgment so i have the transcripts from our trial, her master revisionist history on our relationship. It’s disturbing, but it’s also evidence she moved on wayyyy before I thought she did and she placed so little value on those memories, it was ha…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 04:41 PM
11

A lot of them can really create a narrative in their heads that they believe. It’s like George Costanza once said “Jerry, it’s not a lie if you believe it”…. That is how they become, and they will rewrite the past, to where “I never loved you!” And somehow the fault of any issue you’ve been having lies on you and you alone, and “how could you be surprised?” As she gets ready to go out w the AP. What, you don’t also have a date ready? Oh, you actually loved your wife and didn’t cheat on her…. It’…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 03:08 PM
14

Oh man, this was all I wanted to know, and I was put through emotional whiplash. I supported her and I’m financially very well off, I own a business and had been very successful, and always wanted to start a family. After we got married she quit her job and would just treat life like she was on a never ending spring break. She got LESS mature as we got older, and right before I was about to turn 42, and her 36, she left me for a guy who had just turned 30. Honesty she was almost certainly dating…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 03:04 PM
5

This sucks man, I KNOW what it’s like to have a judge that doesn’t really care, just wants case off his desk, so he can go eat lunch. It’s so unsettling because it’s so true, and some of these guys have lived their lives so long like this they see what they say goes, worst that can happen is someone jokes about some case that got appealed. There is literally nothing you can do about a judge who’s on your bad side, other than request a different judge, and you BETTER win that request, so most peo…
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 12:44 AM
9

Yea if you’re logistics are like that, you gotta play the hand your dealt. I live right in the city and I go to the store multiple times a week, sometimes a day. Just what I’m used to. The point is, it’s great when you taste that freedom of the invisible collar your wife has on you.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 12:36 AM
9

Def feel what you’re getting at my dude, my ex would get in the stupidest little fights and there were times when she resented I wasn’t in a shitty mood so she made sure I was. One of the last times I remember seeing her, she was just a resentful bitch, and ruined my mood. She is a really unhappy person and ultimately our marriage failed because she realized I wouldn’t be able to make her happy. At least I don’t have to be around for when she decides the same thing about the child she had w her …
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 12:34 AM
4

Yea some Reddit mods can be insane, I agree with you there. It’s so frustrating when you get banned when you didn’t mean something they assumed you did. I’ve “challenged” a ban before and it’s hard to know if anyone even read about it. Anyways, you’re not missing anything. I’m on that sub all the time, just not with this account, as i was permabanned there lol. Good luck my guy, happy new year!
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 01:14 AM
1

This so much! It’s so disrespectful to yourself to cheat on your marriage. Let me ask you OP, why haven’t you left? You are lying to take advantage of something, or someone, or else you’d just leave. You’re staying because there’s something you’re using to your advantage. Nowhere did I see you mention children, and this would be such a horrible thing to do to your child’s mother, so I’m assuming there isn’t any. So why haven’t you left? Are you using your wife for housing? She pays for something…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 03:35 PM
3

Oh man, I’m sorry to hear this! Same EXACT shit happened to me, but it was like 12/5 when she told me. My bday is 12/28. We were together for 10 years, and I was blindsided so I couldn’t even believe it. She was doing the no contact thing, and she was also my best friend and one of my only friends at the time, and she texted me “Merry Xmas” and I was so excited but then that was all. So I was upset because she ignored my response. Then she texted me “Have a good bday too” and I sat around for da…
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 12:23 AM
2

Oh I worded that wrong, I meant the judge, my lawyer, her lawyer, her…. I didn’t mean other people, hell no! It’s my bday today and I hung out w one of my best friends and told my whole divorce story (3 years in, but we never got a chance to really connect) and I kept on having to start over because I’d be telling one story and go forward in time and then have to jump back, but i realized how little ive actually talked about everything. Felt really good to get it out and have a good friend in yo…
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 05:25 AM
3

Thanks for the support! It’s so weird before other than this sub, even still, people give her sympathy, they downplay how she treated me, and at best they say “it’s messy”, and very few people take the time or effort to listen to any of the details; they just hear she left and it was a surprise to me, I didn’t see it coming.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 10:05 PM
2

Thank god you didn’t! I actually wanted to move when I was married, and would have put that house in both of our names. I actually went and looked at houses and found one I really liked. I coildnt get her to even go look at it, as it was too far from the bar she worked 10 hours a week at, she didn’t want to be driving home drunk such a long distance 🙄🙄…. So because of that, I said fuck it, we aren’t moving and I’m not putting your name on the deed of a house I’ve owned 15 years (w extra principa…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 05:24 PM
23

OMG! So when my wife first left me, she told me she “just wanted her own place, she wanted to prove to herself she could do it on her own without me.” About 6 weeks later, she decided she “wanted a divorce as she concluded I was a “narcissist who only cares about money”. I found out about 6 months down the line, she had started dating a man publicly 2 weeks after she told me she wanted a divorce (and of course she was seeing this guy before she moved out), I was just unaware he existed as he’s 1…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 05:19 PM
3

Omg man, you wouldn’t believe my ex… we got her to admit on the stand she never paid any bills the entire marriage, that we always had separate accounts, I owned my home over 15 years before we got married, because of that Paydown during the 6 year marriage was unusually high (all principal), she admitted she was never on the deed or mortgage, her income during those 6 years was less than $28k combined, and she didn’t bring anything into the marriage. I’m appealing right now as the judge awarded…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 04:59 PM
27

My man I once went to work on a Friday, came home after and opened the door to let my dog out, called him to come (he usually is right there) and he was gone. As I went inside, the house was empty and the only thing left was my bed. She had just had a “garage sale” to “declutter” and sold all our backup dishes, most of my clothes (we can get new ones), and a bunch of my tools (basically anything of mine that would sell), so she could put a security down on her own place. One they stop caring, th…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 04:01 PM
2

Yes, it’s so unfortunate and women almost always use “I’ve been telling you for years!” Or “I’ve told hubby I’m not putting up with this if he doesn’t change, he didn’t change, I don’t know why he’s so surprised!” Ughhhh. Maybe it’s because you’ve been complaining about his shortcomings since you met each other and for the very first time you’re actually choosing someone else over him on paper. Maybe it’s because people say things they don’t mean all the time? Maybe it’s because you and hubby we…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 03:28 PM
2

I’m sorry this happened bro. What kind of business do you run? I also own a business and know how tough it is. For those that have never done it, you never ever get off work. It CAN BE rewarding, but it can also be a living nightmare and all business owners have went through period where they’ve seen both sides of it, or if they haven’t yet, they will. I know first hand how hard it is to run a business and have a marriage. Because you have two spouses really, you are married to that job if you h…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 02:37 PM
3

My man, I’ve been here for 3 years now and I want to say this is one of the best posts I’ve EVER SEEN in this sub! This is the absolute best part of divorce, and there’s not much good about it, if anything. I’ve been through 2 now, one as a kid, and one of my own, and the joy of doing something you love that was taken away from you by marriage, is what it’s all about! Merry Xmas to all you guys out there… stay strong for 2026! 🤛🤛
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 04:47 AM
3

You stay away because you have respect for yourself as well as other men. You are NOT cool if you have knowingly slept with someone else’s girl, that’s one of the most pathetic things you can possibly do in this life as a man. You really can’t come back from it, if you have, even when younger, you’re a POS unless you can admit you were a POS but have changed.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 03:40 PM
17

That guy is such a loser, anyone who has to sleep w someone else’s wife/girl gets ZERO respect from me, and no guy should respect these scumbags. If you find out any woman is taken, and you’re not offended she was coming on to you, zero respect. To go to another man’s home, w another man’s girl, you have to be one of the biggest losers on the planet. These guys that “brag” about banging other guys wives are the biggest scumbags on this planet, they’re worse than the women themselves. If there we…
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 03:38 PM
3

You’re not a dumb person at all. You need to concentrate on your kids. Hire a lawyer, use AI to research your case and get the easiest job you can get, even if it’s at McDonalds, while you look for a job. You can turn this all around, you’re super young, 25 feels like it’s older, but it’s just getting started man, and your life is not over. For one, you’re “facing” 9 years, if you don’t have a prior criminal record, you’re not going to be doing 9 years, even if convicted and charged the maximum …
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 06:55 PM
1

Just foolish to try to get back at someone that won’t even care. There are no benefits to spending energy doing anything, no matter how minor, (other than protecting your own boundaries) to get back at an ex. No one has EVER said, “I wish I didn’t leave my relationship, as my partner really showed me how stupid I was.” If anything, it reinforces why they left you, it gives them validation they were right. It’s the opposite of revenge.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 04:08 PM
2

I just imagine getting a windfall reward for all this and it makes me sick. It’s been nothing but loss for me and nothing but gain for her. It has been like that since I met her, and she quit while she was ahead.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 07:38 PM
2

I hate reading this but I don’t think it’s possible. I don’t think time is well spent trying to put anything back together. Once it’s broken, it’s changed and you can never put it back together. Good luck man!
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 07:37 PM
2

OP, this has “AP” written all over it. In fact, I’d be shocked if there wasn’t one. I just say this as my ex was very good at hiding things and i didn’t think there was an AP. I was totally wrong of course. Good luck, but get yourself used to knowing that there COULD BE another guy.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 07:35 PM
1

$1600/month is what I was paying. No kids.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 07:31 PM
4

If this guy is working 70 hours per week, and she criticizes anything about him not being tough, she needs to go. I mean 70 hours a week, he’s allowed to have a bad fucking day. I bet she doesn’t work full time (and no offense against the OP, my ex didn’t work either).
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 07:23 PM
4

I just read a post on r/Divorce within the last hour called “I can’t believe she cheated on me”. Most of us find out way too late she’s even thinking about it. The OP is finding out, he may be too late. I think it’s disingenuous to tell him that this is just crazy talk. No offense but this is dead serious, and it’s almost always the first sign, and sometimes the last, that she’s leaving.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 03:50 PM
2

Yes they do but the title of the post was “Wife started… talking about divorce”. Usually this implies this hasn’t been some “crazy shit” in the past. I just want to prepare OP, it’s why I suggested he do his own research as a LOT of us felt “blindsided” by divorce by thinking it was “just some crazy shit she said” when she was mad. I believe we need to prepare each other as so many men, myself included, end up blindsided and waste 6 months trying to get our wives back, when we know that first ti…
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 03:20 PM
3

It’s my experience, once she brings up the D word, it’s already over. That was what I’ve experienced and what I read about time and time again. OP is posting on r/divorce_men , what more do we need to know?
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 02:57 PM
13

The best way to “get back at her” is to live your best life. And not for her, for you! Nothing will tear her apart more than her hearing about your future success and happiness. And again, not for her, for you. Even if you did something to her that hurt her financially or in some other way, she’s not going to change how she feels about you. The most offensive thing you can do is move on.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 02:56 PM
5

Honestly, I hope my in laws support my ex. They’re her parents. I never expected anything different, she moved in w him right away, I wouldn’t be telling them anything new. But again, I wish them luck (it’s been years).
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 02:54 PM
3

Yes, OP is going to find out, this is most likely what’s happening, and it’s already too late.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 02:52 PM
6

Please OP, if you do anything today, take this post very very seriously. You should print it out and research this, as this is exactly right. Basically, your marriage is already over IME and I’ve been dealing with this since 2022. With just what you’ve described, I’ve almost never seen anyone turn this around successfully, this is always the very beginning of a long divorce story.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 02:50 PM
6

It really is nice, but it goes by so fast without all the drama and gaslighting.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 12:30 AM
1

There’s almost always another guy though. I think you’ll see, she was just really good at hiding it or really gaslit you. I know how certain you are, but I felt the same way until I found out. Don’t be too shocked.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 06:43 PM
1

She prob is my dude. I didn’t find out for over 6 months that the reason she left me was she was dating someone else. She hid it very well, we didn’t have mutual friends, and we are such different people, it was easy for her to cheat. I didn’t think it was even an option, so I missed it, until it was too late. Don’t overestimate what she thought of married and don’t underestimate the power of a new man.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 06:41 PM
1

Yes, but classifying it as a male/female thing is wrong for the most part. It’s more of a narcissistic thing, and both men and women can be narcissists. There is a type of woman that uses the stereotypes a lot of women use to get sympathy (which is itself a stereotype but a correct one IME).
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 12:29 AM
1

You’re absolutely right! You can always adopt another pup when you figure shit out, and in the meantime they do not deserve to be punished. I feel you have to be an evil person to not see the goodness in dogs. I seriously would never date anyone who didn’t at min respect how loyal they are; the opposite of my ex. Thanks again my man and may good things come to you!
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 11:59 PM
1

Thank you man! I know what you mean, and I’ve gotten a dog after divorce, I didn’t have any kids, but man this guy makes me laugh. He’ll sit there and whine at his food bowl until I go over there and touch it, then he can start eating his food. Thank you for making sure the dogs get cared for.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 11:44 PM
4

Yea. Even if you are rich, and good looking, it doesn’t mean it’s any easier. And the more money you make the more they try to take advantage. The only way you win is stop participating, then seeing other guys out there happy will make you feel like you’re missing out. I’m hoping eventually the will itself disappears. Would never think about getting married again, but I wish I would have left my marriage way sooner than it ended and not fought for it, just so she could leave me. I know it’s clic…
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 09:57 PM
5

Oh man, you’re in for some shit if you still care about her. This is so toxic, and she’s going to make it even worse, because the minute you realize it, and start to make a move, she’s gonna come back….HARD!
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 09:42 PM
1

Yea, have to say, I wish my divorce happened sooner, and my marriage wasn’t so long. Watch how a woman treats the people closest to her, if she treats those people like shit, she’ll treat you even worse when you’re not around. And I mean family and the person she calls when she needs something. My ex treated her family like total garbage and some people take advantage of what they think you need from them. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 09:40 PM
2

Same here man…. It gets different, but never goes away. I had a dream where she was involved just last night. I think things will be tough forever but I don’t mean feeling bad about her, just more of the situation she put me in. I got married to have kids, she stayed with me until I wanted to start trying, then she took off and got knocked up by someone else, leaving me w the pieces at 44. But I’ve changed my future now.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 01:42 AM
1

Bullshit is what it amounts to.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 08:55 PM
1

Yes! Same here, my wife made one offer to settle and it was like $300k. She moved out of her parents house w nothing into my fully furnished house. She lived there 6 years, had an affair, and got $40k in temp maintenance and she wanted $300k more. The judge actually gave her a huge loss it’s just not big enough. She was never on the deed, mortgage or title. If it were the other way around it would be fraud.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 05:51 PM
2

It is. This woman admitted she never paid anything yet thinks she should get half of my entire equity, and the judge gave it to her. But I have a very very strong case on appeal w a 3 judge panel.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 05:48 PM
2

Same thing happened w me, married in 2016 w $250k equity, home is now worth $400k. I’m appealing as the judgement found she never contributed, so I should at min get more equity than she is.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 05:45 PM
5

Going through an appeal right now. Was married for 6 years, owned the home for over 15 years prior to marriage. My wife admitted she never paid anything for the house, never paid ant taxes, maintenance or improvements on the house, never contributed anything financially, her was never on deed or title, and we didnt have any kids. The judge still ordered me to pay her a 50/50 6 figure equalization of equity, almost equal to what ive paid off in principal in the 25 years ive had the home. Going th…
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 05:43 PM
1

Why? They aren’t dying. Surely they’ll want to spend the holiday with you again (who cares about her).
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 05:36 PM
4

I threw it out of a moving car window one day, it was the last thing that reminded me of her. I hope it makes someone’s day finding it someday.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 05:33 PM
2

That’s it!
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 11:05 PM
1

It used to be. My dad used to tell me how much he loved it, lol.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 06:55 PM
4

I’d believe this, and it made sense in my case. Bigger the wedding faster the fall.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 01:07 AM
1

Yea if he can cover the equity, they won’t order him to sell it just because. But if he can’t pay her, yea they’ll order a sale. I’m sorry OP, my wife was the same way, just awful!
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 08:56 PM
1

Reading your post again, yea there’s a very good chance the judge is going to order you to sell it. I own a home w a third party and my ex never contributed, and I was still ordered to sell. A “mortgage rate”, even if it’s 0% is, is not going to keep the house. If you’re staying there w the kids it might. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 08:55 PM
1

So if you can prove you own it alone, and didn’t buy it for the marriage, then it will be your separate property. You didn’t mention what state. In most places, the house would be your property, UNLESS custody issues change that (a judge is allowed to award the house to the parent that keeps the kids living there if that’s an issue). W your case, your net worth is very high, you’re gonna get raked. And this happened to me too, once her lawyer got in her ear everything who a whole new ballgame. S…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 08:52 PM
1

You bought it how long before the marriage?
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 06:10 PM
1

Nice analogy! I like that, it’s going to happen, and we’ll never really know why. Perfect! 🤛
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 06:05 PM
6

Yea, even if she knows it, she’ll lie to herself. She sounds like my ex, unless she was being actively entertained or praised she was unhappy, and i was to blame. She didnt want to work or be responsible for anything, but then she’d complain I worked too much. It was just heads she wins, tails I lose.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 02:42 PM
12

I know you do, this is ALL I wanted for a longgggg time. But then you break it all down, and what you really want is her to acknowledge she made a mistake, which she’ll never do. You realize it’s more about her. You don’t need anything from her, that’s the real lesson you have to learn. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 01:56 PM
1

No it’s different for sure. For one, anyone he’s marries again has a way lower chance of succeeding just by the numbers (and it’s what I’d bet on).
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 07:11 PM
15

Honestly, that’s a pretty weak reason, unless you’ve tried turning it around, made her aware, and the effort hasn’t changed anything. We criticize women for this all the time and it would be hypocritical not to criticize this.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 07:09 PM
1

You’re playing it the right way, the less communication the better.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 03:12 AM
3

Oh dead on the money my man. My ex held the fact that I showed up to our wedding 5 mins after she wanted me to, until the very end. Stuff she never let go. This is also when they start the projection. “You’re such a narcissist” says the person who was diagnosed w “borderline personality disorder”.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 02:57 AM
2

Good for you! It really is a game of marketing/sales, and the difference between success and failure isn’t looks/money, it’s learning the algorithms of the way the sites work. You hit the jackpot, as if you are in the top 20% or so, you’ll get 80% of the matches! Like I said, I wouldn’t mind taking you up on your offer!
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 02:20 AM
4

I’m sure you’re a stud, but online dating is very location dependent and most guys (80%) do not get many likes. It doesn’t mean anything, but it can kill your self esteem, especially after something like divorce. I think if you tell the average guy, don’t worry you’ll get tons of matches, you’re setting them up to feel worse about themselves. I’d even take you up on the help, as I’m 6’1 and very financially well off and have a very powerful job and I struggle to get matches. I would also say I’m…
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 02:13 AM
6

I’ve been coming to this sub for years and one of the things I read about over and over is the fact that women will hang on and divorce you in their own minds way before they’ll let you know, and in my experience its absolutely the case. Thats why so many men feel blindsided and so many woman are surprised by this. They will say “I can’t believe it, I’ve been telling him this for years!” Well there’s the problem right there. She may have mentioned he was imperfect a time or two, but every single…
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 02:05 AM
4

I think it just needs to be stickied as it is good valid, accurate, helpful information for a lot of people coming to this sub for their first few initial times.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 01:58 AM
3

Good! You did the right thing. No you’re out a princess and you don’t deserve to be worshipped for existing!
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 01:56 AM
7

There’s always some guy willing to forgive everything she’s ever done for a little punani…. And that’s why they can do what they do.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 01:53 AM
3

Thanks man! The one bright spot has been the support this sub offers. I’ve been on Reddit for a decade, and out of all the subs I’ve ever been active in, this one offers the most support, from guys having been through it. I think most of us have similar experiences, and it really is shocking to read the same story w different details over and over again. It’s shocking how similar things are; and a lot of it is how girls are raised. The “you deserve the whole wide world handed to you!” They grow …
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 01:50 AM
2

100%, it’s super rare when they don’t play the victim, so rare you almost never read about it. My ex went right to the “abuse” card and concealed her address. It made it so every time she filed anything, the 2 more “concealed address” forms were with it. There was rarely ever a raised voice at this woman, and there was unequivocally no abuse, or anything that resembled abuse. She never even claimed it, but after a 2.5 year case, those “concealed address forms” really pile up and it creates a nar…
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 01:40 AM
7

I also have basically no family, no children, and obviously no significant other. I wouldn’t say I put her up on a pedestal or I’m a Romantic, but I did have that stupid belief “happy wife happy life” attitude. I would advise never handing the keys of your happiness to anyone else, but it was already too late. I had a really abusive wife, who would have chosen the death penalty for me if it meant shed get any amount of my money. This is after playing me like a fiddle during the marriage. She wen…
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 01:27 AM
10

I’ll never understand it either. My ex wanted to just destroy the idea of me, and still has me at really low self esteem. She basically killed me, she destroyed who I was as a person, as she was the center of everything to me. You’re exactly right, it’s so fucking sad. And I won’t tell you it gets better, it never really does. I had an entire life plan I was working on since I was conscious and she just lit it on fire.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 12:28 AM
2

100%! You’d never think this is happening until it happens to you! That’s why I don’t even listen when someone starts bashing their ex. Half the time they need to convince themselves you deserve everything they did to you, and if that means rewriting the past, so be it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 06:45 PM
5

Oh yea, this happens so regularly, unless theres an established history of abuse and she has proof, it wont mean a thing. You may find out who your real friends are, and that’s a good thing. Almost all women will file a temporary restraining order on you selling anything, this just means you can’t go sell your car or your house and blow the money while the divorce is pending, it’s her protecting the marital estate. But don’t think this will bias you. I was a 42 year old guy who never so much as …
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 06:42 PM
2

Yes you do. Also, on a serious talk, no one should deprive anyone else they love of enjoying the things that make them happy (within reason, I’m not talking about supporting a cocaine habit). If your ex kept you from enjoying the small things, well—that isnt a small thing.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 09:14 PM
3

So sad that you had to go 15 years without your beloved whopper! No one deserves that kind of abuse. The Burger King would be appalled!
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 09:09 PM
4

Mine lied about our date of marriage; said she worked for my business (in reality she went to the office a couple times to pick something up from me, never worked there); claimed that her working for free paid the mortgage which she admitted she never paid any actual money for; lied about me “kicking her out”; lied about needing a concealed address; lied about moving in w her AP; lied about me agreeing w her she shouldn’t work; lied about my assets; I could keep going, you get the point
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 09:05 PM
3

Welcome my man, and I don’t mean this in the wrong way, but there aren’t too many people I’ve seen on here versed in Indian Family law, half these guys get confused at Indiana law (just kidding). Anyways, you’ll prob have better luck posting in an Indian sub, not sure where or how those can be found. But don’t take a lack of answers as a lack of support. Most men in the western world are unfamiliar with “Caste Love” or whatever it’s called, it’s very unusual around here. But I wish you luck and …
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 04:02 PM
2

Haha in some jurisdictions you don’t even need to be a lawyer. There was a judge in Alabama that literally didn’t know what a “Stay” meant and they had to throw her off the bench when she admitted “I don’t know the law, im learning as i go” on the record. There was also a judge down south somewhere that would hold people in contempt because he didnt like they way they looked at him. It’s a myth they are all lawyers. THIS is the kind of stuff you can ask chatGPT about that will blow your mind! It…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 03:15 PM
2

Try doing a temp chat and act like your wife would act, and tell it about your case from her point of view. You’ll be shocked at what it says. Never ever use any LLM in a divorce, without asking it the other side as it will have you thinking you have a slam dunk case, everything is in your favor and you don’t even need your lawyer, lol…. What I’ve learned is the most accurate thing about family court is “the judge can do whatever they want”. The law (at least in WI) allows for almost any outcome…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 02:53 PM
3

ChatGPT (or any LLM) can help you think through a lot of things, and can help you in a divorce case (don’t rely on the advice it gives you, you need to ask it for links to cases you can read yourself, but it’s very helpful for legal strategy. It gets mixed up as all it’s doing is predicting the next word w tokens (numbers) based on all the other prior words you’ve used in the context (what you’re talking about) and depending on what you’re using, it may use other knowledge about you. What they a…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 02:28 PM
8

Welcome to D_M OP…. Stop thinking about what your ex is doing… if anything, she hasn’t changed, she just needs to find another mark to go after and how does she do that? By offering up what she has, sex. She won’t be any different w these other guys, they may enjoy each other at first, but she’ll fall right back in to her old habits and they’ll have the same issues. If anything, your wife gave you a gift. You don’t have to worry about leaving her in order to enjoy sex. Life is short, we only liv…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 02:07 PM
3

If you don’t get married again, and you work on yourself, you’ll never have to go through anything this bad again. Think about it, the worst is over, at least you don’t have that Thanksgiving. But Xmas and New years are coming up, and it’s going to be the same. I suggest you take yourself out and do something. Never let anyone have control over your happiness again. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 03:08 PM
4

This is always how it goes! One day it’s just you are the enemy! Go from being best friends to your enemy you never saw coming.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 02:19 AM
10

They also tend to act more of feelings than logic. But that regret hits when either things w AP aren’t going the way she hoped, or things with you are going better than she hoped. Early in my relationship w my ex, we broke up due to what I know now was easily her cheating on me (at the time was confused)… I ended up taking her back after a no contact for 3 months and it’s the absolute biggest regret of my entire life. That’s why I say, do not do this! It’s so hard to do as if you were left it’s …
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 02:18 AM
13

This is the absolute WORST thing that can happen is taking an ex back. They ALL regret it, and if you’re a good man, her cheating and leaving doesn’t change that. In fact, the reason she cheated on you prob has a lot to do with that. Do NOT under any circumstances waste ANY time on thinking about reconciliation. At first all I wanted, all I wished for was a text from her telling me she made a mistake, and I wasted months thinking this was coming. The fact is, years later, I would have WASTED tho…
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 02:14 AM
6

I will never let a woman move in my house again.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 04:02 PM
1

100%, girls are taught they deserve to be princesses, if they don’t want to work and be moms, that’s wonderful. If they want to work as a garbage man, that’s amazing (there’s even a garbage man Barbie). A great majority of women go to college to meet a husband that is a rising star, marry him, and have kids and be a mom. That way when things go wrong, they get half the husbands stuff, and usually child support. Call me whatever you want but a large amount of American women do this and have this …
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/25 08:28 PM
8

First off I’m sorry bro, this is going to be one of the most difficult things you ever do. It ruins your past, present (obviously) and your idea of the future. Especially if you put effort into your marriage and it was something you were proud of. It was hard for me to even talk about it and admit to myself it was over, and it’s such a powerless feeling, as basically your identity is destroyed. But first off, this doesn’t change you as a parent or how your kids see you. I was 16 when my parents …
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/25 08:18 PM
6

Happy Thanksgiving guys…. 44/divorced male/no kids/single…. Do not sit around and sulk all day. If you are getting hit w lonliness…. W these holidays, you need to make your own traditions. If you have nothing else going on today, take yourself out and do something. You are and will always be your own best friend. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 02:53 PM
10

I’d recommend against online dating. 80% of guys don’t get any matches and unless you really study how to make your profile, you most likely wont get any. This will make you feel like shit and right now that’s not what you need as it’s not the truth. Men just don’t get matches on online dating. I recommend getting to be comfortable alone.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 01:04 AM
3

Do not get married ever again!
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 01:02 AM
11

Ha! I feel you man, and the way they rewrite the past. Been together for years, and suddenly “I never loved you!” “You were always controlling me!”
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 11:50 PM
8

I strongly disagree. I would object if I had a son about to get married. It’s a BAD idea all the way around, unless you never plan to build anything and your best chance in life is to parasite off someone else, then it may be a good idea for you.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 09:47 PM
10

What? Bro no way 90% of the time marriages go flawlessly. As others have said, if you can take away anything, it’s to NEVER get married again. If someone told you “you can save a few bucks, but you give someone you’re in love with right permission to sue you if things change” would you say “I do”? As that’s all marriage is, permission to serve me with a lawsuit.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 09:45 PM
3

Just don’t ever overestimate your case. I had a slam dunk almost too one sided of a case and the judge just wanted to get it over with, he didn’t put any time into the verdict so it appeared as a normal marriage, not a totally one sided one where I was ran over by a train thinking there’s no way a judge can order a home that’s owned w a third party sold (and they can’t, which is why I’m appealing… but just because they can’t; doenst mean they won’t, and if not for AI (LLMs/ChatGPT) I wouldn’t ha…
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 07:44 PM
6

It’s actually how the judge feels, that comes first, almost no matter what, until you go to the court of appeals, the it’s the appellate panel.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 07:30 PM
5

100%…. The biggest mistake you can make is thinking you are right and you know the law. The only law that I’ve seen that always holds true, is “the judge is allowed to do whatever they please”. If you get a bad judge no amount of documentation can help you. I would advise getting a lawyer who’s very close with the judge, because that is THE most important factor to your case. The laws and documentation come second.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 07:28 PM
4

Listen, you’re lucky, you don’t have kids. I know how it is, I don’t either. Every time you get down about this, especially as time goes on, you’ll realize how lucky you are you’re not stuck in the world where your ex is using your child against you as leverage. It happens to me as a kid, and I’m telling you, a lot of guys would give up millions just to be in your situation. And even if those guys did, they’d feel guilty about it. You and I got off clean, and we should be thankful and support ot…
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 06:23 PM
1

It’s not that big if a deal. You need to give yourself a present and take yourself out.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 04:53 PM
6

This is what I’ve done last couple years… I go out to the casino and have some drinks, and I save up the money to do it. I go alone and it’s a blast! And almost everyone out is single or doesn’t have family. I had so much fun that people wanted to come with me last year and I said no. It’s my own tradition now and I have to say they’ve been the best holidays I’ve ever had!
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 04:13 PM
4

Yea buddy I often get this same feeling, as a divorced guy w enough money I could retire, and don’t have any kids, what is the point? I own a decent sized business and i can keep growing it, which is more stressful, but obviously more profitable, but without anyone to spend it on, why do i even do it? It’s a fair question and I’ll say I don’t have the answer. I’ve been single for over 3 years, haven’t dated anyone, and online dating is pretty much impossible for men. I can like 200 people in a r…
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 11:02 PM
11

100%, my ex literally needed 6 months of gaslighting to fire herself up enough to go after me, and had to make up things in our divorce trial. It wasn’t until her closing argument she finally claimed “we tried to have a child but unfortunately we’re unsuccessful”, which is a complete distortion and rewrite of the truth. Some of these people can gaslight themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 09:06 PM
1

Yes. When my ex first left me, I wanted to date immediately out of revenge. Then I completely stopped trying. It’s so hard for guys out there, and I don’t even have kids. You should be able to use your child to meet people. It gives you an avenue to be social being involved with your child and their friends and other parents. When you don’t have any kids, and don’t work with women, being a man can be totally isolating. I’m 45, and unless I hit some lottery like odds, I’ll never date anyone again…
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 06:33 PM
1

Yea mine did massively too. Like I cannot spend money as fast as she did, even blowing it on stuff I don’t need. I was paying her $55/day in temp maintenance for a few years, and after it’s been over, it’s so nice to have the extra cash. It was my plan to handle the finances, and my ex wife was going to be the mom and handle those things. She just failed to try to have a child until she met her AP, who got her pregnant almost immediately. I had it set up where she wouldn’t have to work ever agai…
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 06:27 PM
1

3.5 weeks!??? Bro I’m on 3.5 years! I am so jealous for all you guys, I’m still dealing w the ex trying to siphon off as much money as she can, 3.5 years later. This is my 4th holiday alone. I can’t even remember the last time I had thanksgiving, as she left me right before in 2022, so 2021, I had no idea about the storm that was brewing.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 06:18 PM
1

My ex claimed I had $3-6M in bitcoin, no evidence whatsoever , just she saw my balance once after we got married and I had 30+ BTC. On her financial disclosure sheet she writes 30 BTC “3 million” prob has no idea how many zeros are in that. It’s being used to bully now. I’m an early investor but doesn’t mean it’s marital property. My ex used the threat of this to delay litigation and collect maintenance. Judge ultimately ruled, after she brought text messages in, that they can’t speculate on unp…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 11:24 PM
1

Mine did same thing. Once they talk to the lawyer, they can smell the money and all morals and ethics go right out the window. We used to talk about how morals are important, etc, it doesn’t matter. And I’d say in divorce court, the man is presumed to be at fault until rebutted, almost always. Women know how to play the sympathy card and even if she totally cheated on you. All women know how to do this but they throw morals out the window snd you’ll see the worst of it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 11:11 PM
2

100%. They are self esteem pits, and almost all men do not have success online dating. It’s a game designed around women.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 10:44 PM
1

Agreed this is totally holding him back.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 05:39 PM
2

Stop seeing your ex…. Why??? All this is doing is letting her feel better you don’t hate her and also she wants to check up on you. Don’t be surprised if you do meet someone she may be outraged and try to come back. Her seeing you is a way to control you, whether you see it like that or not, it’s control.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 05:38 PM
4

Yes, it sucks… 3 years into it, appealing a verdict, she couldn’t care less about me. If she could, she would order me dead if it meant she’d get more money. She made me into the enemy, and replaced me, and now she’s trying to take my money so I can finance her new family. It’s disgusting, I can’t imagine getting rewarded for doing what she’s done.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 05:06 AM
2

It is def creepy how similar most marriages are, especially if you have a certain type and you’re a certain type of person. I’ve seen lots and lots of women leave men who are stable for men who are the opposite. It makes no logical sense sometimes, my ex left me to go live in poverty with a much younger man.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/25 06:00 PM
1

Especially when you have assets to lose.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/25 02:02 PM
7

I’m sorry but why would you sign this? Did you even read it first? If you can’t read and understand something, you never sign it! Talk to a lawyer as if you didn’t understand what you were signing it may be a defense to signing an unfair contract. The courts assume people who have things won’t do dumb things like sign something they don’t understand. It’s incredible you’d put yourself in this position. Did you inherit everything you have?
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/25 02:02 PM
5

Do not make it number 3!
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/25 12:42 AM
7

You gotta put this on the banner of this sub…. Everyone needs to read this the first time they come here as this sub has kept me going 3 years. I’ll just say this to you buddy, you need to get out and find something that makes you happy when she’s not around. You’ve become too dependent on her for your happiness. When women see this, they lose attraction. Women want what other women want, it’s the number one thing about them.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/25 05:10 PM
12

Let me just say, this is the beginning of a much happier life for you. The reason your marriage has been so …. You know….is because your wife hasn’t been even trying. When women start to cheat like this, you become the annoyance in her way. But most of the time she can’t just move out, and she needs to make you out to be the reason she’s leaving first. This is the time where men “work” hard when the game is already over. Women take advantage of this and sometimes set themselves or their new life…
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/25 01:52 PM
1

You want to be careful though, as the longer OP pays for anything, the more he’ll be responsible. Women know how to play the system, most of them depend on it. They become completely different people when they hear the words “presumed marital”.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/25 12:18 AM
6

They justify lying because “they need time” to save up so they can afford to get an apt w AP. Just don’t say anything until you can afford to leave, everything is normal. Then they always talk about how they can’t believe we are surprised.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 10:11 PM
9

I’ve seen in the divorce forum, women telling other women something like “just don’t say anything until you meet someone else you can move in with”…. It’s insane to me that a lot of grown women group their relationship and their housing together. A lot of them will move to a cheap apt until they find a guy w a place they can move in. This to be, as a man who’s already worked for what I have, is insane. I can’t imagine in any universe being the side that can just hitch on to the other one. In oth…
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 10:04 PM
2

Just don’t get involved w the kids and never have a child or marry a single mom. That’s just asking to destruction. It’s like getting two pet bears and then thinking they won’t destroy your house.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 08:17 PM
2

I was talking to someone the other day, and I think it’s less than 1 in 10 marriages over a decade are happy. Most of the time it’s two people staying together for a child, who are miserable but tolerate each other. As most guys who are here know, it’s a very hard thing to have to admit you were totally and completely wrong about one of the biggest decisions you’ll ever make. That alone can cause unhappy people to stay together. A happy healthy married is like 1/2 of the 1/2 of the 1/2 that stay…
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 08:16 PM
1

I really really tried for over 2 years to put our marriage back together, and nothing I did worked. Everything was stupid or it was my fault. Things I’ve always just done and she’s never complained about started bothering her, to an irrational amount (telling me to stop texting her so much, etc, when she used to complain I didn’t text her enough..). When it gets like this, the effort you put it doesn’t matter, and the sunk cost fallacy is totally real (I spent so much time and money on this rela…
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 08:12 PM
3

Oh buddy you need to separate. Why are you still married? There’s not one reason. You’re in a marriage where you’re both just too stubborn to leave it. No intimacy for 4 years, that’s the entire amount of time it takes to go to high school! We really only get 10 or so of these 4 year periods as adults before we got too old to care about intimacy (20-60 roughly) and that’s 10% of it gone just being miserable. If you’ve went 4, you can easily go 4 more, and before you know it, you’ll be too old to…
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 08:00 PM
1

Of course she does!
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 07:41 PM
4

Agreed it’s a poison on society.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 03:37 AM
2

Omg, was she a Taylor Swift fan? My ex loved the kardashiands and it just annoyed me, they’re so fake, and such horrible people. They have all that money and just want more makeup and exposure, lol,
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 03:36 AM
3

I don’t know what it is about TikTok, I have a Facebook, Tinder, X, etc, but I don’t understand Tik Tok, it doesn’t make sense to me (and I’ve never spent more than a few mins trying… I love the new Sora app, but TikTok is just stupid too me.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 03:35 AM
17

I have a couple hard rules, where I just get it over right away; I’m never getting married again, it’s a hard no… if the person im going out doesn’t have her own place or plans for permanent housing, it’s a hard no… I will not date anyone w the ultimate intention of moving in together and if that is a woman’s plan eventually, it’s a hard no. I don’t wish to share my nearly paid off 4 bedroom house w anyone, I almost lost it to a short term marriage. It was too much work and I’d rather be single …
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 03:33 AM
3

If you are married to one of these people, I’m sorry. I will say, don’t stop trying, as kids grow up quick, and they usually see the truth. If you attempted to be involved, and their mother prevented it, they’ll see that as adults and as I said earlier, nothing can stand in the way of bio dad.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 09:40 PM
1

I apologize for what you’re going through. Because of what I’ve went through, I don’t know how to do the opposite. That’s why I’m so happy I’m not putting anyone else what I went through. And I’ll say to anyone reading this, if you have kids, they’re better off w you happy alone than stuck in an unhappy marriage because you think it will somehow be better for your kids. 1 happy parent beats two miserable parents every time.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 09:37 PM
4

I’m not going to disagree with anything you’ve said. I’m biased in this as my parents went through a horrible divorce and I was 16 when they separated. So my entire childhood was with a family, and I haven’t done anything with a family since then. It’s always made me uncomfortable using the word step parent where my younger brothers have. I also have seen a lot of women move their BFs in and think they are the new father. Thank god I never had a child. But you’re right, and I’m not saying anythi…
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 08:44 PM
1

Yea you’re not lying saying single (as long as you’re legally divorced). I don’t put it on my dating profile either.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 08:10 PM
1

Depends on your age. In 20s, prob. In 30-40s? Most people are divorced in my experience, as a single man it’s more rare to meet someone my age who’s single and never been married vs divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 08:09 PM
5

You have zero rights unless you officially adopted them.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 08:07 PM
6

As a kid I was offended by seeing a guy w my mom, but my parents divorced when I was 16.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 08:06 PM
5

Maybe, maybe not. It depends what the real dad is doing. Usually as adults people get closer to their bio parents.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 08:06 PM
20

Never ever ever be a step dad again. There’s nothing in it for you as a man. Unless the dad is dead, you’ll never replace anyone’s father. I wouldn’t even consider it. I got pissed off at my wedding when someone called my mom’s husband my step dad.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 08:05 PM
3

And 55 is better than ?? the rest of your life. I’d never recommend anyone at any age stay in an unhappy marriage. Obviously those w terminal illnesses are an exception. We don’t know if there’s anything after this, why spend any of that time in something that’s miserable? Even though I was left, and prob would have stayed in an unhappy marriage (because it’s much easier), I realize my ex didn’t make me any happier, if anything she brought me down and I was generally happy when I was away from h…
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 05:06 PM
2

I think you should do it! These hobbies have helped me so much, and are worth the money!!
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 01:49 PM
2

Yea I’m sorry to hear that. There are times when I worry my dad must be worried and disappointed the way things turned out with me (I never had any kids, and I was always the kid who did things the “right” way (marry then start a family). But then again I know he could never be disappointed, but I wanted to give him a grandkid; and wanted a special relationship w my child . It’s a hard thing to accept, but life moves on (that’s the biggest lesson I’ve taken away from all this). I hope you guys g…
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 03:05 AM
4

I didn’t mean to be a dick. If you’re genuinely trying to help and he’s not coming to you (spoiling a child is a problem, and I’ve met some spoiled adults), I apologize. What you can do, is just be an outlet. My dad is my best friend, we are very close, and when my wife first left me I’m sure there were times he wanted to smack me and tell me he’s sick of it, but he never did. Just having someone listen sometimes can do more than I can put into words writing. Didn’t mean to come across as a jerk…
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 02:59 AM
3

Ok, there’s no such thing as “make sure we’re compatible”. When I was a younger man, I waited 5 years to ask my ex to marry me, because I wanted to make sure we’d never ever get a divorce. She left me 3 years ago. There is no possible way to tell, no matter how long or short your relationship is. I’d concentrate on finding someone who fits your idea of a good mother, as your child will have this person as their mother forever. Whether you and her are compatible long term is a crap shoot, so don’…
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 12:56 AM
2

No one takes it well, unless you’re filing. Your son is 41, he can figure this out.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 12:19 AM
3

Dude I will donate. I’m appealing a divorce right now, and it’s absurd I even have to do this.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 11:22 PM
5

Men aren’t attractive like women are. Most men can agree a certain type of woman is hot. W women, they don’t all agree on any. The hottest thing for a woman is to be the man other women want, because that’s what they’re really after.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 11:16 PM
4

It’s not easy, for any man at any age. I think it’s funny women my age are finally seeing that their looks don’t work any more. Very amusing to read about it in r/datingoverforty Maybe sign up for a dating site and check out what’s in your area. But I will say, at any age it’s never been easy for me. There’s really no such thing as a good looking man. If you ask people on the street, almost all of them will say a very small amount of names as an answer, because women want what other women want. …
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 11:13 PM
2

Usually by the time there’s a divorce both are thinking more along the lines of “how much can I get?” v “what’s fair?”
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 02:00 PM
3

Everyone values their money/time differently. I’m sure your friend is convinced his marriage will last forever, which is surprising for a divorced man to do. But I wish him luck, hope it works out for him. Is it smart? That’s a matter of opinion, but if you ask me, it’s the exact opposite.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 01:49 PM
2

You’re absolutely right, but I’m assuming he is choosing to do so. In that case, and this man has already been divorced, he is most likely aware of it. Do I think it’s smart? Hell no! But if they bought the house together and that’s what they are agreeing to do, it’s not my business. For a divorced man, he has no excuses.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 01:45 PM
3

But in this case she prob can’t afford that. I would not get into a situation like this. But listen to my situation. I owned a home w my father, bought it at 20 years old (he just got divorced) and then a few years later I bought him out (but never took his name off). I subsequently lived at the house for 15 years, paying all the bills. Then I got married to my GF who lived at my house, we had planned on moving but never did. She never contributed $1, didn’t even work most years, and she cheated…
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 01:39 PM
1

It’s too late in this case. Unless he gets her to sign a post nup.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 01:35 PM
3

That doesn’t matter. Typically technically the money is 50/50 both of theirs. Whatever the husband earns during marriage is considered marital. So husband makes $200k/year, wife makes $50k, they both make $250k. Even if the husband pays ALL the mortgage, if the house was acquired after they were married, the equity will be split equally. As far as who remains in the home, the husband would have the advantage, nothing else considered. If they have children, usually one of them will get primary cu…
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 01:25 PM
4

If they bought the house together after marriage, it doesn’t matter who paid what, it’s theirs 50/50. Both will get 50% of the marital estate, which depending on where you’re at, it’s usually whatever is acquired during the marriage by either party. In my state, there is an “equitable division” which means fair. It depends on length of marriage, property each party had before (if one party brings a house into the marriage, they can get more of the house in divorce, depending on what the judge th…
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 01:20 PM
5

My guy, why would you stay w her for 6 months??? I have a somewhat similar situation to you, except im self made. I have also struggled w letting someone take advantage. But I wouldn’t stay a day after discovering infidelity. I would seek out the answer as to why you stayed. This will get at the heart of why you’d allow this to happen. 6 months is an eternity after learning of infidelity. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 06:45 PM
8

“Happy wife happy life” is so toxic!
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 01:33 PM
21

This is the only sub that really supports almost everyone and doesn’t BS w people. If you come on here talking about how you cheated and you’re a half assed father, we will tear you apart. Other than that, even if you’re clueless you’ll get help here at minimum and support.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 01:33 PM
2

100%! My ex would go out every other night and get shitfaced. The only time she stayed in with me was when she was too hungover to go out (she was a bartender and we agreed she’d quit when she got pregnant, so half the time she was out, she as “working”. I wanted a kid, and she kept delaying it, and never got pregnant with me because that would have been the end of her partying days. Now I’m 45, divorced and don’t have kids, but at least I’m not battling an alcoholic ex over our child.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 06:42 PM
3

I’m 3 years out, and still dealing with things, but I have to appeal my divorce judgement (I will ultimately prevail). This has been almost a constant pain in my side as my ex is totally broke, and AP is 12 years younger than me, who is 44. For my age, I’m prob in the top 1% financially (self made) and this guy makes $3-4K/month. So they’re broke, and have been counting on me to pay all the bills w maintenance, and they were expecting a massive judgement. But other than that, since the appeal, t…
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 03:47 PM
5

You can’t make an addict quit, they need to want it for themselves, and you can’t push someone to that place. You can set boundaries and let them hit rock bottom, but you’re not going to be able to “work” on HER alcoholism. That’s why you set boundaries, where it’s her choice. You say “I will not let you around our daughter when you’re drinking” get a breathalyzer and (do NOT use this regularly) when you think she’s been drinking, tell her she needs to pass to take the kid. Also keep a record of…
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 01:45 PM
7

It is, she was in HS when I bought the house, and she made less than $33k income during our entire marriage, and he gives her six figures.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 01:37 AM
9

Will do, I went through the full blown trial already, just got my appeal case open, have 60 days to get the transcripts and then 40 days to get my brief in, so around March/April. I’m appealing property division. Home owned 15 years before marriage by me and another party. Wife was awarded 50% of equity, when they ruled it was a short marriage (6 years) and she didn’t contribute to anything (judge made those findings), yet ordered me to make a 6 figure equalization payment. We didn’t have any ki…
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 01:35 AM
7

100% my guy, we all know she has a boyfriend, they always do in this situation. If you let her get the house, she’ll move him in, 100%. Stay strong!
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 12:27 AM
3

I’m already accepted, I’m very confident they’ll get the law right (as my trial judge messed it up so badly).
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 09:47 PM
12

I’m appealing right now, and it’s a 3 judge panel. My judge didn’t even pay attention to the case. Her lawyer actually just quit, so that’s a great sign! She will have to explain at appeal, why the judgment is right (it’s not).
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 09:46 PM
8

Man I had a full blown trial earlier this year, 3 years of hearings, 10 pages of court dates…. Now I’m appealing, but I think I got a good shot!
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 06:14 PM
2

You can find someone just as good if not better. There’s always someone better out there, ALWAYS!
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 04:32 PM
5

I feel the same way and it’s been 3 years. I think of dating and it’s so much work for so little reward.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 04:09 PM
1

It’s been 3 years and ahhhh….. not immediately for me
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 08:50 PM
11

Dude, she’s just a chick. There’s nothing special about her. You’ll find someone better! Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 08:46 PM
10

She’s got a BF right now. 🤦‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 11:23 PM
1

Glad I could help you, I’ve been going through this over 3 years now and w my appeal it will prob be over 4.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 05:15 PM
1

It’s prob pretty personal no?
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 11:07 PM
1

You prob don’t want to post that here, just saying..
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 11:06 PM
3

You know what tho, it will get better. I’ve been through 2 divorces, one when I was a kid and one myself. Both of them got better the further out in the rear view they are. Very few people ever say “I wish my ex was back in my life”. Don’t worry about the effect it has on your daughter, we living in an unhappy household is much worse. The younger she is, the better.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 06:59 PM
5

No, in fact quite the opposite. But you still need support too. There’s really no such thing, as you grieve the idea of what you wanted to be, and realize it never will be. I think it’s for the best. Life is short and a new beginning can also help your ex find something better for her life too (not saying you are worse, just someone who loves her like she should be loved). I don’t believe marriage is forever, I think it’s really rare, and even then sometimes it’s just two people too stubborn to …
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 06:14 PM
2

Yes, brother I’ve been here. It can really set you back a few days. I will say this will happen less and less, and it was just a dream. Look at it like this, the less you see her, the less of her memory will be with you. And in this situation that’s a great thing! Even if you had good memories, try to forget those too. You never will if they mean anything and soon you’ll forget most of the BS.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 06:09 PM
6

Oh this has happened to me too! Once I dreamed she had to leave to go back to APs. Another time she was complaining in my dream. It gets better, I’m 3 years out, haven’t dated but I’m absolutely over my ex, I hope I never have to lay eyes on her again, even from a long distance. Once they cheat, or once they claim they want out, they have already became different people. I remember one of the last days we were married she was complaining how something I’ve done the entire time we’ve known each o…
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 06:07 PM
6

Yes, but mine also cheated. But yes, she was so controlling, and smothering. 3 years later and I’m still single and not in any rush. After feeling like I had to keep someone else happy at all times for 10 years, well I never will again. But I feel you, and if your wife is doing this, you can’t let that continue. I was with mine for 10 years and there were certain things that once you do them, you can’t undo. I have learned a lot of things not to do, If I ever date again, I will never get married…
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 06:02 PM
16

3 years ago was one of the worst days of my life, and it’s insane what I’ve been through. Will never ever ever put my trust in another person again, and will never get married (goes without saying). I actually recommend no one ever get married for any reason ever period.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 12:28 AM
6

This is gross as hell! Shame on her
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 09:57 PM
1

I fucking hate myself for getting married
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 12:56 AM
0

Your wife is cheating and you’re best to leave her immediately! The answer is ALWAYS yes when it comes to divorce and always no with marriage. Women are not worth the time money or effort
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 11:38 PM
4

You should ask for what you’re entitled for. If it’s Child Support, and you’re in a contested divorce, of course. Unless you’re making a deal, then you have to consider the total package. They’ll most likely divide the marital estate equally, or fairly. Even if you have to appeal it, they’ll usually get it right if you put on a good case. I’m confident my appeal will be handled correctly. I guess we’ll see, in about 12-18 months.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 03:32 PM
3

In my case, it was just a fact. She didn’t get punished for it whatsoever. But they also didn’t punish her for totally ripping me off w maintenance.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 03:28 PM
7

It seems weird to lie about this. If your wife left you, it doesn’t make you pathetic, it says more about her IMO, especially if she’s cheating. I’ve never said anything other than my wife left. That’s how I’ve described it, or we separated, and if they ask why, that’s why.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 03:27 PM
3

I actually never made it a big deal, but she was cohabitating and collecting maintenance. I was mad she collected maintenance but not upset she was living w another guy at that point.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 03:26 PM
6

I don’t think it’s something to be ashamed of. I’d be more ashamed telling someone I left her, lol.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 03:24 PM
7

I did, it took me like a year to tell some people I work with. It was more embarrassing than anything else. But yes, it took time to be comfortable telling people. I don’t care anymore of course and I’m not embarrassed she cheated and left. I tell people she left, I don’t tell them it was amicable, because that would be a lie. I also don’t jump on her for cheating, but she had a baby w her AP, was pregnant 6 months after leaving, so I don’t really have to say that. If anyone asks, they pretty mu…
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 03:23 PM
4

100% bro, if you can take away anything from this entire situation, it’s STAY SINGLE! First of all, you’re getting divorced. You have not hooked up with anyone (screw your sex life right now, maybe bad choice of word but you get it), and hopefully it stays that way, unless the person you’re booking up with is aware this is going nowhere. I would recommend almost all divorced guys go single for at least a year, or at least the length of the actual divorce litigation. For one, right after a divorc…
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 03:03 PM
5

True but these people are incredibly abusive and it’s not like a normal break up. They emotionally whiplash you and it takes time to come back from that. I agree he needs to move on, but I wouldn’t say I’m totally 100% healed (and may never be).
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 01:48 PM
3

It’s a MARATHON not a sprint, that’s for all family litigation. I’ve been at my divorce 3 years.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 01:50 AM
2

Great point! If I had to do over, I would not ask her until she’s had a kid! (Would not get married period)
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 01:25 AM
2

I can say, get a lawyer for absolute sure!
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 01:24 AM
2

Exactly!!!! Cannot stress this enough! If I could tell you guys one thing after having been through a full blown divorce trial I am now appealing (should prob go for my law license when this is done); the judge can do whatever he wants! In my case, judge signed two back to back contradicting verdicts then vacated one like he was flipping a coin as the one he vacated was the one that made sense. I’m stuck appealing after he took 115 days to sign the first one and 116 second one and then 11 days t…
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 04:52 PM
1

Great idea!!
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 04:48 PM
1

Yes! I’d only suggest keeping all texts w STBX to a min. Don’t use your daughter as a reason to contact her (not saying you are but this can blend together). I’d only contact her if you have to know what you’re asking. Why not get your daughter a phone to text daddy? (I don’t know the situation, you didn’t say how old she was). Let me tell you from being a 16 year old kid when my parents got divorced, and having my own divorce, (not sure which one was worse), it’s a better thing the younger she …
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 04:12 PM
1

Plus odds are very small that she’s not using you in more way than one by sleeping with you. Other than the sex, there’s zero benefit to be sleeping together. It’s not at all safe either, I can stress this enough, as the other guys she’ll be hooking up with are the biggest issue. These guys will usually fuck anything that moves. The kind of guy hooking up w someone’s wife will have all kinds of things to be worried about (it’s actually the people they’re sleeping with, and the people those peopl…
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 08:59 PM
2

What really triggers me is these women that win a big divorce settlement and then act like they’re a successful member of society because they drained some guy (and usually his family too, as let’s be honest a lot of wealthy people have help). I’ve seen so many times where a woman will end up having a baby w a super successful guy, then you know, they get divorced, she ends up w a chunk (usually not half because if a man is smart he’ll have good lawyers) but she’ll get more than she ever deserve…
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 08:03 PM
4

None of them do my friend. When this all first started I thought my wife was so crazy and different than other women. After 3 years being here, it’s actually the opposite. They’re all almost exactly the same. Women just have different brains, and society has it now where they have all the power as wives and mothers. Take away that, and they’d be almost useless. The sad part is, we give them every incentive to treat men like shit; as we know at some point they’re gonna need help from someone. Hop…
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 05:17 PM
1

Yes, plus you need to learn to get by without her support. I wish chatGPT existed back then, as the lack of communication was shocking. After being married, you just get so used to sharing your day, and having that get cut off is a huge difference. It’s like withdrawing from a drug almost, like you become dependent on that outlet. But you’re much much better off single than married. Id guess over 8 out of 10 married men are 1 of 3 things: 1) Very unhappy, marriage sucks, but in public they are p…
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 05:10 PM
14

Yes!!! Absolutely right move. In some states, having sex sets everything bad to 0. Like if there’s a waiting period and you guys have sex; it starts all over as it’s considered getting back together. Plus mentally it’s not safe, you have no idea who’s been inside. And right now she’s a lie factory, pumping those out like it’s a Halloween costume store in October.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 05:01 PM
5

Congrats brother, it really is a massive win to just not having her looking over your shoulder. I have to appeal my judgment, after 3 years of separation, looking at another 12-24 months of BS. At least I won’t have to see her again! That’s a huge win
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 04:59 PM
1

Wow!! She isn’t even shameful about it. Stay away from her buddy, she knows how to extract! My ex is so greedy and also wants to punish me. She’s proud of all the money she stole from me, and I would call it stealing as it’s no different. Just because a judge says something is OK doesn’t mean it’s right. All morals and ethics go out the door when gold diggers find gold.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 01:53 AM
1

Good advice!
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 01:49 AM
1

Haha my wife accused me of hiding $3-6m in bitcoin. She got 6 figures and grossed a total of $28k in the 6 years we were marred. Man I wish I could meet up w my younger self and backhand him for all the BS I’ve put myself through. I’m 45 now and I’m totally fortunate to have a pretty weak sex drive. I might even be asexual as even thinking about letting someone abuse me makes me feel happy single. There’s a certain type of guy, “nice guy” that women can just steam roll. I try to do everything I …
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 01:44 AM
1

Why the fuck was there a second date? You didn’t know about any of this until after you were married??? If you didn’t know, you didn’t know, and I don’t blame you. It’s never a good idea to marry anyone for any reason.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 12:24 AM
1

The 2 weeks thing alone could bite you. The judge would ask where you were those 2 weeks she provided 100% of the childcare. You can’t let her do that again. Tell her, if she doesn’t come home, you’ll call the police and report your kids are missing.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 12:23 AM
7

Leave her now!!! She’s using you for whatever you’re providing, but also living as a single woman when she chooses. She’s claimed you, so you aren’t looking for anyone else and everyone assumes you’re taken. When she wants to go explore, she does. She’s having her cake, and eating it too.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 12:21 AM
1

100%,
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 12:00 AM
3

100% she’s been cheating, there’s no possibility she isn’t.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 11:59 PM
3

No I did not, and wish I would have went Pro Se, other than lack of respect from the judge. My lawyer SUCKED and I wish I had fired him!
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 07:38 PM
6

Thoughts are I’m sorry. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if it’s not yours. I also think you have a valid point about how this all feels to you. Usually when you think something’s weird, something is going on, and you know it, you just don’t want to believe it. I think that’s the case here. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 06:21 PM
4

That doesn’t make him feel better tho. Right now, you need to get to know yourself better than anyone else, and learn to be happy without an outside influence.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 06:19 PM
10

Please buddy, you are being gaslit. She already has another man, and she’ll never actually admit it. So no matter what she says, just know right now she chose someone else. This doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough or he’s better. It just means he’s new, and you can’t compete w that. If she’s just testing the waters and things don’t work out between them (highly likely) she’s highly likely to come crawling back, apologizing and trying to make it up to you. Now when I was at that moment, I made th…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 06:17 PM
2

It’s such a HORRIBLE risk when you put everything together… yea you may save on one taxes and insurance, but at the risk of basically giving someone that’s already hard (the person you sleep with every night) to get along with permission to destroy your life, and it may not even be her idea. She may be fucking some guy working at Walgreens and he talks her into “living for the moment” and next thing you know mommy’s meeting some kid in a hotel room to fuck on her lunch breaks. She decides you do…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 06:25 AM
1

I just filed an appeal today stayed enforcement of the verdict 12-18 months. There is a WI circuit court judge in Dane County who’s pretty much clueless about family law. He’s also going through a divorce right now. He issued a verdict 89 days after final submissions were due in my case (has 90 by law). On Day 90, he issued a completely contradictory verdict, complete opposite rulings. 11 days later, he vacates the second one w no reasoning or no direction. Then he attempted to sign a 3rd today …
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 05:13 AM
3

I asked my dad, who’s my best friend and divorced from my mom, “why the hell would you let me get married?!!!” I wouldn’t let a son of mine get married, fortunately I don’t have one. But knowing what I know, there’s no way I’d just watch my kid without flat out warning him, especially someone like I was (very financially well off w lots of assets, basically a target)
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 02:59 AM
1

100%, she’s making her way out of this and into another guys arms.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 02:54 AM
5

Buddy, your story has “wife cheating” written all over it.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 02:54 AM
5

There is always another man.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 02:53 AM
4

I get it, I’m just hoping someone sees this and says “not anymore!” One person, it’s worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 02:52 AM
3

Why do you guys let these women abuse you? I get it, I did too, but it triggers me here
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 02:45 AM
7

Buddy…. No BS here…. Your wife wants a divorce because she has another BF. Don’t lie to yourself. I’m pretty sure I told you that last week. I hope you’re not buying her “gaslight and blame everything on my husband” play she clearly has been running all over you. Wake up, as that’s the oldest one in the book. This is a MARATHON not a sprint, no chance you feel any different, but you will slowly regain your self respect. But don’t bullshit anyone here! Every guy who’s been through this knows exac…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 02:41 AM
1

Sounds like torture, which is about right when talking about marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 09:25 PM
2

Women are allowed to abuse, and it’s just overlooked. The rules are not fair at all, not even close.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 09:24 PM
10

Fuck no!!
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 09:22 PM
6

My wife was with me for money, it was obvious after she left. Totally cruel, abusive, but rewarded behavior in family court.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 09:22 PM
3

I just got ran over by a steam roller in WI. Wife made less than $28k during marriage. 6 years, no children, she cheats on me, has a baby w someone else, got $40k in temp maintenance plus another $100k. It’s so abusive and appeal is incoming. If you wanna know more let me know.. someone should organize this BS as im sick of hearing about it (and it happens all the fucking time) And I found it to be so biased it was almost a caricature. Just her winning hearing after hearing. Concealed her addres…
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 09:17 PM
25

Getting married was by far the worst decision I’ve ever made, hands down.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 09:14 PM
3

I have my final hearing hopefully tomorrow of a process that’s been a week less than 3 years. It’s really tough at first, it’s still really rough at times, but it does get better. There’s no chance in hell I’d want things back to how they were before. I wish they would have never happened but this genie is not going back into the bottle. It will get better OP, maybe not when you want it too. I personally haven’t dated anyone, but that’s personal decision and I don’t know if I will again, im much…
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 04:56 AM
2

I would not 👋
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 12:50 AM
1

Very very true, any divorced man will tell you she’s gone!
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 12:48 AM
1

Wow! Yea I ain’t trying to be sexist, just calling them how I see them. It would make me sick for a man to leave his wife for a younger woman when she’s done nothing but take care of him and be loyal to him; and I’d think it’s disgusting for him to get the house (unless she’s had children, I’m childless and I will not speak for mothers, but I will say I objectively consider getting pregnant for almost a year and letting a miniature human suck on your chest for a couple more is a massive contribu…
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 12:47 AM
1

Then it’s different. They’re gonna be looking out for the child, so whatever is best. It’s almost always best the child doesn’t move, but if you’re in an apt, haven’t been established there, it’s different.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 11:58 PM
2

100%! And whoever keeps the house almost always gets primary custody.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 11:35 PM
2

100%! The second they realize they CAN get your money, even if it’s not theirs, they almost always do. All it takes is a lawyer in her ear and suddenly a home you owned 15 years before marriage is half hers.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 11:30 PM
12

My guy, DONT worry about what she’s doing. You’re gonna have to get used to it. It’s hard because your instinct is of course you’re worried, it’s your wife! But you’re gonna have to move on, And you’ll be better off for it!
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 08:41 PM
1

True, but especially before the divorce, I’d lean on the side of staying away (you are in a lawsuit w her and it’s risky), especially if there’s any conflict.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 06:39 PM
1

They don’t even get punished as it’s subjective. Even if it was consensual sex, the woman could have said no at any time and he didn’t stop. No one’s going to argue with the woman except for the accused. It’s why attorneys recommend it, they can’t flat out say do this, but they can tell the client what would happen and no one can really prove it either way. I have never read about a case of a woman getting arrested for falsely accusing a man of rape or sex assault. The one case it would have bee…
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 06:35 PM
1

They do this shit because there’s no punishment if you prove they were lying because no prosecutor wants to argue w a woman over whether she was raped/sexually abused, etc. So the accused needs to literally fight for his life w his back against the wall and then if he wins everything, they just quietly brush it under the table. It’s impossible to tell a woman what she felt, so they just move on when it’s proven to be a lie…. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a woman getting prosecuted for false D…
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 06:31 PM
4

Nope and nope, wish I could say different but I’d be lying.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 06:26 PM
1

Then he needs custody, but if she’s leaving like he says she is, this should be something that’s achievable. Start documenting every night she’s gone, 3 days a month is 10%, if she’s gone weekends it’s worse as they’re not in school. Don’t let anyone know you’re doing this, and if anyone finds it it’s just for your info. Don’t label it, just jot down when she’s not there and when she gets home. This isn’t about money it’s about her parenting, which is completely different kind of screwed. You ca…
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 06:23 PM
2

Congrats! I’ve been dealing w this since 2022
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 06:08 PM
1

It’s so sad but they penalize you for making money even after a divorce is filed, it’s so ridiculous. In my case, it’s almost slavery. My ex sat around pregnant (not mine) while my business had a good year, so I was her slave.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 06:08 PM
-1

I mean screwed is relative. I didn’t have any children so I feel I shouldn’t have to pay my ex a fucking thing, but if u had kids, I’d want my kids to live with my ex in a decent place and have good food to eat, etc. I don’t think you’ll really be screwed, but it won’t be cheap. In your case, look at it like you’re paying for the kids and don’t worry about her (except how she is as a mom).
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 06:06 PM
8

How old are you? For 26 years, they could have tagged you for life a lot of places.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 06:04 PM
2

You guys underestimate how awesome it is you don’t need to spend years on this. My divorce has taken me almost exactly 3 years, I have a hearing Friday that will be 4 days before the 3 year anniversary of when we met, and I might need to appeal the hearing, taking me basically me entire mid 40s of my life. I wouldn’t have the time to get married again if I somehow lost my sanity and wanted to.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 06:03 PM
1

I wish I could tell you. DM me and I’ll send you the verdict, he officially found everything I said. This is WI. I even subpoenaed her AP who admitted paying “50/50” of her bills and they lived together while she concealed. I also have receipts about the texts as it mentioned on the docket “last min text messages” and my lawyer objected (for appeal).
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 02:49 PM
1

Be careful…. If you have some of her, print them out and bring them to the trial. She may surprise you the morning of, it happened to me, they were let in and she got to read them aloud. And they introduced new facts into the case. Judges can basically do anything they want. Mine signed two contradicting verdicts, our Proposed a day after he signed her proposed, so both of us won completely. Then 11 days later, he vacates mine, which was completely contradicting, and he doesn’t give a reason why…
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 02:24 PM
3

Ok I went to trial! My ex wife nor I introduced any text messages in discovery. She knew we could both embarrass each other big time just by the dumb every day stuff taken out of context. Then night before full blown trial (only 1% will ever have to do this) her lawyer accidentally sent my lawyer screenshots of text messages. I couldn’t believe it and didn’t care as I didn’t think she could do this. DAY OF trial, she submits text messages and judge allows them in (stupid ass judge I’m appealing …
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 02:13 PM
7

Don’t go anywhere w your ex wife. There is almost no time it’s safe and the reasonable thing to do. The ONLY case is a shared Bday party for a parent. You couldn’t pay me to spend 5 mins w my ex anywhere else.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 02:06 PM
4

Man, it’s been 3 years for me, and I was just programming an LLM (AI) to be like my wife and first thing I asked it was why? Well never know, and it’s also disappointing when you find out they don’t have that debate like we do. It’s one of those things, there really isn’t an answer, unless there’s a clear answer.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 02:05 PM
2

Just wondering if by “being happy again” you mean dating. I’m not sad, I don’t know if I know what happy is. But I’m as happy as I’ve ever been I’d say 80% of the time, and the other 20, half of that I’m just living, and the other half I feel like something is missing. But I’ll take it over being sad and depressed most of the time, like after my separation. I think I was happy during the marriage too, she just wasn’t. I’m a strong introvert fortunately, as I spend most of my time alone and enjoy…
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 02:03 PM
4

How old were you? I def do not see myself dating anyone, prob ever again. It’s been 3 years and no one’s crossed my path. I’ll never look better than I have those years, so it’s very doubtful.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 02:49 PM
9

Not yet. I’m older, im 45, I don’t see it anytime soon and the longer and older I get the odds get lower and lower. Been single now 3 years, so I’m guessing this is just life to me. I miss having a partner, but not one I had to take care of. I don’t really believe in long term “forever” romantic love, I think it’s more like a myth than anything else. Just like “happiness” no one is always happy, it comes and goes.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 02:48 PM
1

Yea I don’t know the answer to that. They prob see it differently. People in general can be really shitty. Also, what terrifies me is anyone could be evil/dangerous, and most that are blend in to society so well we don’t find out until after they’ve done their damage.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 12:51 PM
4

100%…. Been 3 years and I’m still single and there’s no one even in the picture. Theres no one on the map. Sucks to be lonely but sucks even more being abused for being awake.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/25 09:49 PM
1

Wow man, very similar experience! Basically whatever she did, she could figure out a way how it didn’t apply to the same standards she had for me. Funny how you say the Xmas thing as the main catalyst for my divorce started w her wanting to leave my family’s Xmas party after 30 mins (we saw them maybe a few times a year) because her sister was going out drinking and she thought it was more important she go do that on Xmas eve rather than spend time w her husband and his family. Really was the fi…
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/25 09:47 PM
5

Fair enough…. So a lot of what you wrote really resonated with me, I’ve been in a similar position. It’s only been 3 years but I haven’t dated anyone yet and I can get to some pretty dark places if I go down the rabbit hole of thinking about my future. I would say, man to man, don’t beat yourself up about “losing the best thing you ever had” etc…. I know she was special, so was mine, mine was actually my only very serious relationship. But I’m not worried about not being able to find someone tha…
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/25 04:03 AM
2

Do you have any contact w her whatsoever ? Don’t take this the wrong way, but it comes across as something you’re hoping she stumbles upon? Otherwise the odds are 0 she’ll ever just find this, unless you set it up w keywords you think she’ll search. It’s less about what you wrote, and more about why you wrote it there, instead of posting here?
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/25 03:56 AM
2

I’m so sorry, I had the same thing happen to me 3 years ago and I’m still dealing w stuff
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/25 02:41 AM
1

It’s not getting better any time soon, in fact it’s likely to get worse.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/25 02:05 AM
6

My ex told me at one point she thought she was “allergic” to my cum🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️…. All I wanted was to have a child and she ends up having one w someone else. Half the time now I’m just ready to totally give up on dating forever. It’s so absurd to me women thing OLD is difficult. “OMG WHAT DO I DO W THESE 120 matches I just got in 2 days?” Then they pick the worst of the worst and then say “I’m done w men, OLD is a joke!” I had a talk w someone the other day and I said unless a woman chooses to respo…
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/25 02:03 AM
1

You’re right and it’s prob cheaper too!
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/25 01:57 AM
2

Honestly, if I had a son, or could talk to my younger self all over again, I’d tell him to do the opposite of what everyone says, and do not get married until after she has a baby of yours and you guys are providing a happy stable home long term. In those conditions, and w a prenup, you can fee relatively secure getting married. She’s already given you a child and she’s being a good mom (or you don’t do it). You have your financial situation figured out and she’s either providing daycare or she’…
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/25 09:22 PM
2

Is this a reply to me? Can you explain what you mean? I don’t think I used the word amazing.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/25 09:17 PM
14

Honestly, after being here almost exactly 3 years now, I can say if you’re married and under 40, you have a 50/50 shot no matter what you do. It’s not the things you do or don’t do, none of this is in your control and that’s why it’s so scary. I for one am glad to be through it and I’ll never get married again. I wish anyone that is luck, and if you can figure it out you’re better than I. You can do everything right and find out one day she’s been banging the neighbor for months (that you know a…
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/25 01:01 PM
2

Yes, agreed! Some attorneys just file abuse and restraining orders as if it’s the man’s to refute when the burden is on the one alleging the offense. Being a man does not make you abusive (and some defense attorneys feel otherwise, and also are able to convince a judge this is so).
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/25 01:30 AM
1

Same thing, family court is divorce court. And it’s a lower bar (reasonable vs reasonable doubt).
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/25 01:28 AM
1

Check your states laws! IANAL but in WI where I live it’s legal to record as long as 1 person knows.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/25 01:24 AM
3

🤣🤣. Who buys 1.75s? That’s more vodka than I’ve drank the last decade! So glad I don’t have to deal w that, and her hiding the bottles.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 08:56 PM
4

Get an Apple Watch, and make the “Button” to start recording. It can record hours of audio and it’s always on your wrist. If I was going through this and had to be anywhere near the ex, I would always have that on me at all times. I actually used it in our trial and you can just hit a button and it transcribes everything for you and you can use that for ChatGPT, etc. I have my whole entire trial, lol. It works amazing these days. Also she can’t tell you’re recording and you don’t look suspicious…
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 08:35 PM
5

The less stuff she has to tear you down with, the crazier the story it will be, and the more things she’ll say!
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 08:32 PM
5

This is awesome!!! 🍻
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 08:31 PM
2

Substance abuse is def common. As 1 beer a year and you’re an alcoholic POS. It happens so often that judges take this w a grain of salt. If you didn’t spend time in impatient rehab and didn’t get a DUI out w the kids, she can say whatever she wants. But don’t take it personal. Typically you’ll see more lies the less you caused her any problems. If you didn’t abuse her, didn’t cheat, and she has no good solid reason to leave, be prepared for the fantasies!
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 08:29 PM
2

I wouldn’t say that, but don’t ever volunteer to be the fair person, because you may get taken advantage of. Sometimes the genie can’t be put back in the bottle so to speak. My STBX ambushed me w screenshots the day of the trial and legally should not have been able to, but the judge couldn’t unsee it.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 08:26 PM
4

This is so wrong, as it just sensitizes the judge to this kind of stuff. Then when a woman who was actually abused comes through, they don’t take her as seriously. It looks bad on all women when it happens. You know OP if you were abusive and if I ever hear someone talking about how abusive their ex husband was, I do not take this at face value. Usually the loudest ones to talk are the ones abused the least, and the ones that were truly abused are not so open about it. Either way, it does everyo…
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 08:24 PM
5

Yes! Wife did exact same thing to me. Never laid a finger on her. She started going out all the time and we had a talk about her quitting drinking. One day she buys a brand new 1.75 of Tito’s and she was being a bitch and I found where she was hiding it. I was about to pour it out and she snatched it out of hand and poured it all over me. I stood there stunned at what was going on, as she stared into my eyes just ruining our marriage. If I was ever going to put my hands on her it would have been…
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 08:21 PM
1

Very weird, you lose like $10/day doing this to inflation.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 05:43 PM
1

Discovery
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 05:42 PM
1

Don’t do that! If you’re asking this question, (meaning you’re not experienced doing this type of thing) this will backfire in your face so bad it’s like shooting a jammed up gun! You will at one point need to disclose the account, and if you already said “this is all my accounts” you’ll be in really big trouble. At some point you’ll have to LIE (perjure) yourself and you’ll regret this very much. Also getting caught doing something like this ruins all possible credibility w everything else.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 05:41 PM
2

They absolutely take advantage of playing both sides of everything…. When it’s convenient, they want to be “equal to men” as if this is some race argument, we are NOT equal, anyone who says we are is denying biology. But they want equal pay, and equal benefits; but they don’t want to do equal work, when it comes to that, they’re a woman! They can’t be doing that! When it comes time to be the “girl boss independent woman” you need to stop mansplaining things and get out of the way… but not too fa…
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 05:31 PM
1

Yea don’t be stupid and start moving stuff. The move itself makes it much easier to catch. OP in this case is extraordinarily lucky. Plus his STBX is his child’s mother, you don’t want your child living in a slum when she’s with her mom. Give her the $500k, don’t even go to court. If she doesn’t know about the inheritance, tell her you’ll give her $500k so she can have a good life w your child and then get her to agree. Chances are she won’t be asking for any more, she’ll think she hit the lotte…
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 06:11 PM
1

If you look at it zooming way out it can crush you. Take it a few weeks or months at a time. I like to set goals for the month, and keep progressing.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 01:05 PM
4

Actually she was gaslighting me that I worked too much. I’m really well off so it was the other way around. I’m 100% self made too, grew up blue collar. This was all stuff I did before I met her, and at our trial she claimed i was hiding between $3-6M in Bitcoin (she knew I had some and was an early adopter, but these never had anything to do with her, and I didn’t want to even bring them into the trial.) When they smell blood, they turn into complete scum bags!
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 12:59 PM
6

My life is much better too. I’m not constantly walking on eggshells. There was a time in my marriage I’d almost have to ask permission to work late. Now I work as long as I want to, no questions asked. Business is way up, you can see the “marriage” years on our graphs.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 12:48 PM
6

My best friend w 3 kids and a wife of 15 years tells me, a 44/M who’s wife left to have a baby w her AP before she had mine, (I’m childless, own a business and I’m very well off) how much he wishes he was me. He hardly ever gets any time alone, where as I can do whatever I want when I want. Since my divorce 3 years ago, I always have something going on. This guys even crossed the line into pure envy sometimes! I would not trade my life for his, that’s all I’m trying to say.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 12:23 PM
1

You mean 7 LARGE! 6 large is usually 6 figures.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 11:36 PM
1

Absolutely, can’t recommend this post more!
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 11:35 PM
2

Yes! Plus he has a daughter, GOOD LUCK keeping that a secret from your STBX! You’ll get burned… I would actually say in your case, the $1M is like a burner account.,, before you spend all this money get her to agree to take $500k to walk away… that’s 1/12 of what you’re gonna get.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 11:34 PM
4

Yea inheritances are the most rock solid way to keep an asset. It’s completely off limits, as long as it’s in not cominglrd w marital funds. The portion you put into a joint account is prob joint, unless it was a mistake or something. If it was your intention at the time to share the money w her it will be considered gifted to the marital estate.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 07:20 PM
3

Come on man! Is right
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 07:19 PM
1

It’s still getting into your head my guy…. It’s in the back ground and you know it was… this is just gonna take her patience until you get to know each other and you’re comfortable. Like I said, see your Doctor, make sure you can rule out ED (if you can get it up w porn it’s highly unlikely you have ED), and just know this is all gonna go away. What’s gonna happen is you’ll get comfortable and rock her world and you’ll never have issues again. If she doesn’t have enough patience then she’s not t…
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 05:33 PM
3

We did not. Wanted them, was the reason I got married, but due to our specific situation she delayed it, and I really had no choice. But we did go no contact, and I’m def glad about that. At the time it felt traumatic, but after it’s been 3 years, I’m glad she didn’t extend it. She was my first really serious relationship and it’s prob got me scarred for life. I’m still not dating anyone and it’s def cost me years of my life. But I’m glad she didn’t stay as that would have been even worse.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/25 02:15 PM
3

I don’t know why this would be unpopular. Even when I was younger and w someone new it would be tough until we got it done. Almost every woman I’ve been with has been understanding, and they know it’s not ED after it happens because the problem goes away. I would say you should see a doctor about this just to rule other issues out. But odds are this is more your big head than the little one.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/25 02:10 PM
11

100% she’s having an affair. Even if you have no evidence. This is classic affair behavior. Happened to me too, wife went back to work after taking a 4 year vacation 🙄 and almost immediately started acting differently. I never thought she’d ever shit all over her own marriage and cheat on me, but it’s typical to be blindsided as a man. I think this happens to men a lot more as from what I’ve seen wives cheat on husbands a lot more than the other way around. I think it’s because it’s a lot more i…
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/25 01:57 PM
1

Just don’t be surprised if you find out it is another guy. I’m trying to lessen the blow for you as I strongly feel this will be the case. It took me 6 months or so to confirm. If she’s cheating, and I strongly believe she is, she will have set up her entire life so you don’t find out. Don’t be shocked. And someone told me the same exact thing.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 08:25 PM
1

100% very well said and OP listen to this as it’s so true. She did you a favor walking away. It would be so much worse if she stayed and just keep sucking the life out of you. And that’s what they do, they use you as a financial benefit, and go play around when she’s not w you. The fact is, she shit all over herself. I don’t understand what these cheaters think, they’re insulting themselves by cheating. And the worst thing is other people prob know, and she knew that.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 08:23 PM
6

I’m super independent, and still it’s hard to feel complete. I’m super happy, I have a great life, but it’s still hard to consider yourself happy and complete being single. I will never marry again, but sometimes I feel like I should be dating someone or I’m not happy. But I think this is more of a society’s expectation kind of thing, and I’m living for the moment more so now, especially after I decided I’m not having a child.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 06:10 PM
11

Haha the devil…. Yea it’s super weird especially if they go through the motions and then just surprise you one day. It’s super weird to pretend to be in love w someone until you find someone else, at least IMO. I didn’t see it coming as she just played along. I wouldn’t have been able to do that, but she was using me for financial reasons.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 06:08 PM
5

Marriage just fucking sucks, it’s such a trap! As a high earning man, you don’t realize it, but the minute you sigh that marriage cert, you’re stuck in her trap. You need her permission now, which a lot of times a judge will force you to pay her for that. Just look at it like it’s a one and done thing, you’ll never make this mistake again. I know I’ll never give anyone a great case to sue me when they feel like it, which is what marriage means to me.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 06:03 PM
3

I mean this is your wife! She’s always been so against it, always been so adamant she’d never do that to me (usually because she projects her thinking onto you, she’d cheat, she can only see the world through her eyes, which means she thinks you would too), this usually means she’s reinforcing how cheating is so against her character. So it’s really easy to think “that’s not going to happen w us”. It’s why this pattern is so prevalent, as someone who would cheat thinks a lot different than someo…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 05:12 PM
6

Can’t stress this enough OP! If you’re like me, you’ll think right away “no… that’s not it, she’d never cheat on me, we are different. Ive always said to her if she ever feels like cheating to just leave me first. Plus we have too much entanglement and have been together too long. No way is she cheating.” Then you’ll start thinking back on the last year or two, and see it w different eyes. That time she spent out all night ignoring you and didn’t come home…. The new panties she’s been wearing bu…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 04:58 PM
3

I like this and IME it’s true.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 04:48 PM
7

It really is. Imagine being an adult and just thinking you don’t have to support yourself because you’re a woman. My ex never even tried. During our divorce I was looking at her SS income (essentially a list of what you’ve made every year) and she never would have been able to support herself, met me, and had a decade vacation essentially. It’s absurd, because she has a vagina. That’s how a lot of people raise their kids (I blame her parents and who lets their young adult child make almost nothi…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 04:46 PM
7

Man, I wanted to retire at 45 when we had a kid, I had everything set up financially. Divorce takes not only your present, but your future and your past. I’m still in the middle of reinventing myself and still catch myself thinking what my kids will think about something I did someday, when I’ve known for 3 years there would never be any kids. The answer to your question is you just do, because you don’t have any other choice. Sooner or later you’ll get sick of feeling like crap all the time and…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 04:40 PM
5

Yes I would say in over 90% of cases the wife leaves and husband is “blindsided” or didn’t see it coming, there is an active affair. They’re so good at hiding it as most of us want to trust our wives, and most of us are not w our spouses 24/7. These days w all the social media all one needs is a phone to be in contact w any man she chooses, which is why if you’re married you just have to trust your wife. All this ends up w OPs story having been the norm. Those of us that know, know there is an a…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 02:10 PM
7

This is happening due to an affair. But OP does deserve someone better. It sounds like she’s more like a roommate/best buddy than a wife.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 02:05 PM
2

I wouldn’t look it at like she’s bringing things you’ll never have
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 04:42 AM
5

Absolutely my dude, it’s the only way to heal….. at the time it feels counterintuitive as hearing anything from your ex, checking her SM, etc. is the only thing that helps the pain, but long term, in order to heal, it’s the only way. Think of it like a broken leg, or some physical injury. You need to have surgery and stay off it or it will never heal. Same w this, you need to get away from her, which means all thought of her, all existence of her, and that means she’s dead to you. Mourn her. And…
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/25 02:48 AM
6

It always cracks me up when a woman says “I told him for years I wasn’t happy!” Ummm yea and then you went right back to living life, you showed him by your actions whatever it was wasn’t a big deal. I see this all the time when a woman will start cheating and then say “I told him for years I’m sick and tired of picking up after him” yet you did it for years and it was never a big deal until you met Mr Wonderful. This is the biggest cop out ever and I see it all the time. “I don’t know why he’s …
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 06:09 PM
3

Honestly as long as you’re honest, I see nothing wrong w being truthful. You don’t have to bash your ex, or make it out to be worse, but there’s nothing wrong telling people she cheated on you, if true. If it’s someone who knows us both, I don’t tell them much, as I’m certain she’s already told her side of things and I don’t even care to start a conflict. People who care about me and I care about know the truth. Ive always believed talking specific trash in public reflects more poorly on the one…
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 04:42 PM
8

Women file for divorce way more than men, doesn’t mean they walk out more, but I would guess that to be the case. I think in most cases, men have to more actively pursue someone, and it’s easier for a wife to catch her husband cheating than a husband to catch his wife. But I don’t have a problem w her posting here, as long as she’s not trying to start drama. Her post is relevant, and it’s just she is in the roll a man typically plays. Her husband walking out on her is closer to what a lot of men…
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 04:34 PM
7

Me too, exactly! It’s not like she started acting totally different, I didn’t see it coming. At some point, and who knows when, those “I love yous” because lies.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 04:31 PM
5

My ex did this thing w me, she’d always say “I love you” and I’d have to say “I love you too”…. She did this up until the very end… it’s like she made sure I wasn’t out cheating on her while she was out cheating on me. This happens a lot when the wife doesn’t know how to leave but is in love w another guy. Usually they manufacture blame on the husband. It’s much easier to justify to the world (and yourself) asking for support if its the husbands fault. So a lot of the times they’ll gaslight and …
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 04:22 PM
16

Almost all of them say this, and almost all of them lied. The problem w me and I’m guessing a lot of you, is they don’t openly, outwardly express unhappiness, usually until they meet the other guy and they’re sure about leaving. They may start acting out, which is a test as to how much you’ll put up with. If you’re like me, this was your first marriage, and marriage meant forever, that limit is almost right up to open disrespect. Towards the end she treated me so badly, anyone would have wanted …
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 04:06 PM
1

Man if I knew that answer I’d be a rich man…. I think the key is to get married young so by the time you get divorced you don’t lose as much. I believe there’s so much incentive to get divorced if you’re married to someone, male or female, (but males much more frequently make good money) that does really well during the marriage. In fact, if you’re the other person, you can secure yourself and your future by marrying and divorcing. If you’re married to one of these people, they make the money th…
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 01:23 AM
2

100%…. Think of it like you’re letting a rapist get away w it… as what he did w your wife as one of his patients is closer to rape than you can imagine.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 12:07 AM
1

No problem man, I’m just trying to get you to see that what she did was beyond disrespectful…. Her BF is working at the concert? She should have made sure you didn’t know that or refused to go. This is about respect, and she just has none for you. She used you to make her feel better about herself, and make her new BF jealous. She’s a horrible person and you deserve better. Can you imagine bringing her somewhere your GF works? It’s a spit in the face!
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 12:04 AM
5

I don’t blame you bro, don’t say maybe unless you mean it. W her, this is going to be toxic before you even conceive it…. Don’t have sex w her again. She sounds like the type that just wants a meal ticket. And there are lots of lots of those women out there.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 01:44 AM
5

100%! Usually I’d advise the other way, let it go, etc. but this man is a predator! Please report him, so he doesn’t do this again. This is no small thing, it’s a massive ethical and moral violation!
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 09:21 PM
9

This is how you win this one.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 09:18 PM
9

What a pussy!
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 09:18 PM
2

Me neither and yes I did the same thing. It’s been almost 3 years since she left and it’s still something I think about. I still haven’t dated anyone and I’m not looking to anytime soon, and don’t think that’s a bad thing.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 08:51 PM
2

Very well said and I agree w everything! Especially engaging being a losing battle. You tell her hey this is how it’s going to be, I’m not accepting that, and then follow through. What happens so many times is the wife is unsure about leaving so she says all the right things, but they rarely want to cheat on AP if they’re already going there. This is a good way to find out. As if she’s cheating she’ll always just bring it back to a fight.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 08:47 PM
5

Yes! I couldn’t believe after knowing, the ridiculous excuses my ex had for not wanting sex. Then you start questioning if she actually doesn’t want sex with you, and that in itself becomes the story. Why is she always saying no? Then they’ll gaslight you and make you into the weirdo who always needs sex and always talks about sex. Every man who’s been through it knows what I’m talking about.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 08:37 PM
2

I wouldn’t even give her the pleasure of seeing it bother me.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 08:34 PM
3

I know, my wife went and picked out a 5 year anniversary band to add on to her wedding ring (for what reason, who knows?). She prob thinks she can sell it or it was more value she could extract from me. Just completely ridiculous and I would have never done the same in her position, as she had to have known she was going to leave and we weren’t going to make it to 10. My ex was just nuts like that; paid to preserve her wedding dress, paid to have all this stuff saved and then just never saw it a…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 08:33 PM
2

I’d keep this though, for yourself, as it means more to you than it will anyone else…. Keep it as a symbol of never giving it away, and give it to your kid or someone you love someday!
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 08:29 PM
7

I threw mine out of a moving car one day while pissed. I hope someone finds it someday and it makes their day as it was a solid gold ring. Not worth the time or pain it would have been to take it in and pawn it, but it was worth maybe $100. Like I said, if someone finds it someday, they’ll get a lot more joy out of it than I did.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 08:26 PM
7

They tend to go down when they are cheating. It’s easier for them as no good decent man would ever go out on a date w a married woman and you’d have to be an idiot to date one regularly, as you’d be also dating a liar. That’s why AP is usually a big step down, but the affair fog clouds their judgment. It’s why you see wives of rich important lawyers cheating w the pool boy.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 07:57 PM
4

I think he means it’s even worse, she doesn’t work there, but he does. I hope I’m wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 07:54 PM
4

But no, you agreeing to go w your ex, even if you didn’t know her new BF/AP was gonna be there, is weak and you’re giving her respect she doesn’t deserve. This is something you do for your wife when she doesn’t fuck another man. She is just rubbing it in your face. You need to stand up for yourself and give yourself the respect you deserve. Do not do her any favors, which includes taking her anywhere period. Let her figure out what to do w tickets you bought her and DO NOT buy her anything else.…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 07:51 PM
2

The problem my dude is the “her”. You still care about what she thinks, and this isn’t healthy for YOU! It’s also really unfair and cruel to anyone you are using to make an impression on your ex. You should want a woman that’s better than her so YOU benefit, this isn’t about your ex, it’s about YOU!
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 07:41 PM
0

That guy is such a loser…. Anyone who knows they’re worth an AP or being made an AP and doesn’t get pissed about it if lied to has no respect from me. Period.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 06:55 PM
16

Anyone who’s with an AP is a loser…. AP is a loser by definition, and anyone dating a loser is also a loser by definition.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 06:53 PM
3

This is such a cop out…. Oh his booth wasn’t busy… as if she wasn’t heading there regardless…. I’d be fucking offended she brought you to the same event he was at, period…. Why are you w your STBX anyways???
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 06:52 PM
5

You should file. If you’re going to somehow get back together (very very very doubtful) this may provoke that, but if not, it helps her move on, as well as lets you move on w life. You had your affair because you weren’t getting something your wife couldn’t or wouldn’t provide and reopening this wound will not suddenly allow her to provide it. Do both yourselves a favor and file.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/25 11:33 PM
6

It’s over already? Wow you got so lucky, I’ve been dealing w a divorce almost 3 years!
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/25 10:45 PM
5

Imagine this story the other way around. People would be saying “Honey you need to leave, your life is in danger!” Giving you money, setting you up w free housing, donations, all kinds of sympathy. Because you’re a man, you prob have a hard time getting people to believe you. I believe you. This is completely BS!
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/25 03:35 PM
1

I’ll never let a woman move in w me again no matter what. Marriage, I would laugh even thinking about it…. Absolutely not
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 12:48 AM
3

Me too man, she had a baby w another man, we were married 6 years…. She’s already gotten back her entire salary during the marriage and the judge gives her 18 more years of payments. Just fucked
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 12:46 AM
1

Depends how messy she wants to make it. If she’d agree to give you an amount you’d agree to, you’re better off than burning it at both ends hiring attorneys . You didn’t tell us how reasonable she is (most are not)
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 11:24 PM
1

100%…. AP has zero respect!
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 11:15 PM
5

Hell no!!!! Sorry but I have zero respect for the other guy, and so should any decent guy out there. Fuck that cheating dishonest tik tok BS fake ass shit they’re pushing now, I’m not pretending to be in love w anyone. It’s more pathetic my wife couldn’t leave me, she had to cheat because she couldn’t afford to get her own place and AP didn’t have his. I’m sure she lied to AP, but still, even then, he came in and lied at our trial for her. So I have zero respect for anyone that is with someone w…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 11:14 PM
2

I just was hoping to see it coming first and she made sure I didn’t. I didn’t see that coming at all.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 09:08 PM
6

Pretty much.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 09:06 PM
3

Yea I am very careful and I’m not really looking to get into anything again. I was taken to the cleaners financially in marriage and divorce, and it’s not even over yet. I could win this hearing coming up and still lose huge, or I could lose even worse. There is no winning in this, and no winning in marriage for men. It’s not worth the risk of losing half of everything for a tax break??? That’s all it is.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 09:05 PM
2

Can’t think of a more stupid thing to do than get married….again.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 09:02 PM
16

This is my account that didn’t get banned here for saying essentially the same fucking thing! I hear ya OP!
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 09:01 PM
3

You’re getting married again????
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/25 11:02 PM
5

She’s 100% using your kindness as weakness. Please treat yourself better than you treat her, not the other way. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/25 07:43 PM
3

Of course it is, she paid for it. You need to find your own who makes a compelling case she is way low. At min this allows you to split the difference. If that’s the only evidence the judge has, he has to go with it (unless it’s ridiculous). Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/25 07:41 PM
3

Good to hear and you’re welcome for the pass. Every man who loves his wife would be down in the dumps. It’s the guys who keep begging after she’s said no, to the point her and AP bond over it. I cringe for these guys and it feels good knowing I’m not one of them and neither are you.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/25 07:38 PM
5

And thank god they did as she would have strung you along “trying” to make the relationship work, when all she was doing was leaving you slowly and dishonestly. The “couple months” is a dead give away this was her plan. Get out of the house for a couple months so she can immediately be with him, tell you it’s for working on your marriage, and then a couple months comes up and she’ll say “this isn’t working”. Meanwhile you spend “a couple months” doing whatever she wants, taking care of the kids,…
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 03:05 PM
4

Your kids are smart! Good lil guys 🤛🤛
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 12:08 AM
3

Lmao…. Clap some cheeks😂 Trap shut! OP be glad this isn’t your hour and yes Techdude is absolutely right, get those kids some nice bedrooms as they’re gonna be living w dad full time here very soon. Don’t worry you’ll have a lot more money when you cut off her support.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 12:05 AM
19

Oh absolutely! I’ve always recommended you do not give up your dignity. I believe you should file first, as later on it gives you some self of self worth. I will say those that were blindsided, you do get a pass. If you got drunk and begged her or the shock of it made you say some things you cringe at now, don’t beat yourself up to bad. But I can honestly say I never begged her, never bothered her and AP, and never thought about driving by her work or worrying about what she’s doing, as no one w…
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 09:48 PM
1

Yea there is no use at being angry at her. My divorce took almost 3 years and we went to full blown trial. Less than 1 out of 100 of you will have to do that. I learned w her up there on the stand, the minute she met the new guy, who I did call by the way, she had forgotten all about me and our relationship. It has been 2.5 years and they had a kid, but it was still front and center of my life, as I hadn’t even dated. But any anger you have for her is just wasted energy on yourself feeling down.…
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 09:09 PM
8

Same exact thing happened to me except we were still married and I was presumed the father because of it. Had never even seen the guy. I would have never expected it either but I’m glad it’s not mine!
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 05:29 PM
3

Oh she most likely cheated, I’d bet it’s over 90%. My ex did the same shit, she even claimed in our trial they met each other after she left. I’ve been told by my lawyer women will say all the time “I was kicked out” as they feel bad leaving and asking for maintenance (they should). But judges assume that if a woman gets in a relationship right away, she was cheating. Also they know the kicked out thing is a lie unless she spent time in her car and couch surfing. If your wife has everything set …
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 03:54 PM
3

I think a lot of people get married younger and just think it’s something you do w your girlfriend when you’re ready to move on with life. Very few look at marriage like a contract and look at divorce as a lawsuit. They see marriage as happily ever after and it usually is at first. Then serious money is at stake, kids are involved, and you realize it’s almost never 50/50. I would never get married if I could start again as I take risks and the risk/reward of marriage is so bad it’s nothing I’d e…
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 03:22 PM
2

Couples counseling is usually seen as a waste of time and just something women (who typically leave) agree to do but usually don’t take seriously, just so they can say they tried. Usually counseling is suggested as a last grasp to save a marriage, and by then one person has suggested leaving and usually planning on leaving but counseling allows them to stay longer at the husbands expense. Usually it’s very ineffective as it’s only suggested after a marriage is over.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 03:18 PM
6

She should say “You can still share money with me and help pay for the things I need”. That’s what “we can be friends” really means. Don’t worry while I’m out fucking other guys I can still use your card to buy drinks.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 03:14 PM
7

My man my ex didn’t wait for the divorce to end. She was with a new guy less than 2 weeks after she told me she wanted a divorce. She also got pregnant, which delayed the divorce another year and a half. Once they move on, they no longer even consider how things affect you. During our trial she got a bunch of details of our relationship wrong, she was off 2 years on our date of marriage. It was obvious she had completely moved on to a new life w a new man and I was just some figure in her distan…
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 03:09 PM
3

Ha my exs dad never liked me as I had money and a good job, nicer house than him, nicer stuff…. But not one time during our relationship did we ask her parents to borrow anything. AP is over a decade younger than me and makes much less. I bet her dad is gonna be missing me as she’s been asking her parents for money, has moved 3 times, and had a daughter. I’m sure her dad will miss the good old days when I was paying everything.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 11:22 PM
7

She left you because she found another man, don’t let it get twisted.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 03:55 PM
5

Actually men usually make more money after divorce. I’ve been the child of a marriage that tried to stay together for us children and it was not any better for anyone involved. In fact, it amplifies how bad it was by being bad, the affects make it even worse. If you have children the younger they are the better off they’ll be, and if they’re old enough where this doesn’t matter and they can see how poor your marriage is, this is even worse for them. It’s even better to split, the sooner the bett…
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 03:43 AM
8

Never true…. This is as true as “Happy wife happy life” Makes me wanna bang my head against the wall. Money isn’t worth anything if you’re miserable.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 03:38 AM
6

This has me thinking of maybe moving to TX lol…. No id never get married again anyway, but if I did it would be in TX. No wonder Elon lives there.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 03:37 AM
6

100%… you do not owe it to your wife to live a celibate life because she chooses to seem to desire that, just because you share a child. I grew up in a very unhappy home and it wasn’t until I was 16 my parents finally called it quits. It did nothing for me that they stuck it out as long as they did. In fact, it’s seriously hurt my development and my vision of what a healthy relationship is, and I’ve had to do therapy and still I’m divorced myself and single. It’s still a rough life, and having t…
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 02:21 AM
11

My guy, you’re only gonna live once. You need to get out of this. You don’t have a CHANCE at happiness and neither does she. This needs to end, or you’re guaranteeing a life of misery, for both of you! She could maybe meet someone that works for her too. Good luck but it’s better for everyone involved that you guys call this quits. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 12:20 AM
3

You should leave. Your wife is very unhappy and she’s blaming her unhappiness on you. She’s using depression as an excuse to abuse you. This is very toxic.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 12:03 AM
0

AI…. ChatGPT is great for talking stuff out like this. But remember it tends to take your side no matter what you tell it.. but it’s helped me w talking to new women and def talking through my separation and divorce. It won’t judge you but will let you talk through things. It will have your back.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 12:01 AM
13

Absolutely do not blame you! I married my wife when I was 35, she was 30, we had been dating 5 years, I wanted to have a kid. She quit her job (2016) and brought in literally $0 in 2018 and less than $5k from 2016-2020, but she didn’t have a kid. Any time I suggested she get a job, she’d throw a fit and say we aren’t ready to have a kid if she had to work. Then she cheated on me and got pregnant within 6 months of leaving and the guy is 12 years younger than me, and she’s pulling the same shit w…
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 11:58 PM
2

Oh I agree. But I don’t pretend it’s fair or that we are on an equal footing. I lucked out never having a kid, I’m sure sons will say missed out, but life as I know it and built it would be over if I had gotten my ex wife pregnant during the decade we were sleeping together. I don’t know the first thing about Minecraft and I wanna keep it that way. (No offense meant)
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 11:40 PM
2

That one certainly works. I’m just saying there is no word for it because it doesn’t exist, there are no females who want to have sex but can’t. Anyone who thinks we are on equal footing or should be equals is crazy. It’s why divorce court is the most insane place on the planet. Only time I’ve ever been at a disadvantage for having my shit together. You get rewarded for how messed up you are in family court. I don’t have kids and I’m never getting married again, so I hope to never enter a family…
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 11:35 PM
9

I can’t stand the swifties, and swipe left immediately if someone describes themselves as one or even mentions that name.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 09:02 PM
6

Wow! I just…. Wow.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 08:57 PM
20

If you really read what they’re saying, they want to be able to do whatever they want w no criticism. It’s not even realistic and if you turn it around and “asked men what they don’t like about women” and they said the sane answers, it would be considered sadistic. Now they call all men that don’t fit in “incels” notice how there is not a name for women that compares?
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 08:55 PM
9

Let me tell you my story. So my ex wife had this best friend we’ll call her L. She was seeing this guy who was incredibly nice to me, call him D, he had money, and was just very genuine. But he was one of those guys that isn’t the most aware. Well my ex and L would invite me to Ds house where he was an incredibly generous person. But when it was just my ex, L would make fun of D and basically treated him like a sugar daddy. This was super concerning to me, as I’m a little like D in that I’m very…
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 04:21 PM
29

The toxic best friend is a cliche by this point. OP is exactly right. If you’re a married man, be careful w your wife spend too much time w a single or divorced friend. They will make her think about it too and they always have the best lives 🙄. Thing is, you can’t get in between your wife and her friend as if you do she’ll rarely choose you. It’s just my experience. My ex wife’s best friend was one of the worst people I’ve ever met moral wise. She would go out w guys w the intention on getting …
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 04:06 PM
3

Yea I need to get a good vent in every now and then.. it happens bro…. I suggest doing something on the weekend that gets you excited. Even if it’s playing a video game or something. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 12:25 AM
3

3 for me and this one is obvious…. The reason she’s hesitating is she knows you haven’t done anything where she can just leave without making her look like the bad guy. She HAS DECIDED she’s cheating, she’s leaving, it’s just a matter of making this look OK for her. She’s already put in OPs head she wants a divorce, she hasn’t filed, she’s prob hoping he does first and this gives her an excuse. I’ve seen this so many times. It happened to me. OP isn’t a bad husband, she’s just caught up in a new…
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 09:19 PM
3

They do all the time my guy…. Children do not stop women from cheating and I was w my wife 10 years. Nothing you’ve described says anything else other than cheating. What do you think it is? She just wants to move on? She just wants her own place? Why don’t think she told her husband she wants to leave the marriage and get divorced? You don’t think there’s anyone else? You think becuse she has kids she wouldn’t cheat? My answer? If I were you, yea I’d take her back because I wouldn’t know that i…
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 09:06 PM
1

Yes it does. The way he described it, I would bet you anything you want there’s another guy involved here. It has all the hallmarks. The odds are MUCH MUCH greater she’s cheating than she’s not.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 07:03 PM
3

I’m sorry I’ve been through this situation and she’ll be hurt fine after you pay half her legal fees. I was just like you man, no way my wife would ever cheat on me, we are different. Then I found out almost all of them do.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 07:02 PM
1

Ok man, tell me I’m ridiculous. Promise me when you find out she’s cheating, come back and apologize. I was like you, no way my wife’s cheating, she doenst even have the opportunity. And then I found out she’s been cheating on me and it was only months after she left that I could prove it. They are almost ALWAYS cheating if things are going Ok and out of the blue they want to leave. To say there’s not another man involved to me is ridiculous and the odds are prob 90% or higher she’s cheating. I …
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 07:00 PM
2

Exactly, anything other than a hell no is a yes.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 04:01 PM
19

She’s cheating 100%. I’m sorry but just know she’s got another guy lined up, no matter what she says. There’s no way she’s blowing this up to be Alone. They’ll swear to god, on everything there is no one else, but I’d just assume there is if I were you. Thing is, anything you do, they’ll use it to bond over. “You wouldn’t believe what that crazy bastard did today”. “What did he do now?” They’ll bond over this w you as the common enemy. If you give them nothing, they’ll look pathetic, and it will…
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 04:00 PM
7

Man my ex was collecting temp maintenance for over 2 years. She got pregnant just to extend the time. She was making $885/month working and the court found she could be making $45k. I make almost double that per week so it’s insane someone could make so little money.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/25 05:50 PM
1

Absolutely not. It doesn’t matter at the end of the day in most places. But if she flat out told him to file, it’s not going to be any better for him if he waits. Waiting can only hurt him (but he shouldn’t leave the home/child under any circumstances until he’s filed and hired a lawyer.)
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/25 05:45 PM
11

She’s cheating on you 100%. If you file, she can tell everyone “I had no choice but to get w Mr Wonderful”…. It’s also easier for her to justify asking for your money under the guise of “well this is the legal way they handle it” vs. I’m cheating and left him and now taking his money. If you file, it flips everything for her from cheating on him and leaving to “I had no choice, he filed”. Now I’m not saying you shouldn’t file, as either way it’s over. But this is almost certainly what is going o…
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/25 05:43 PM
2

100% there is no free play, you pay one way or another.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 09:22 PM
1

Never considered a prostitute abe it sounds like an excellent way to be scammed out of money. I have a buddy and he’s the only person I’ve known and it’s a story of his. Other than that don’t have any other friends that have admittedly visited a prostitute.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 09:21 PM
3

I just looked at it as “perfect wife” meaning happy marriage. Obviously no one is perfect. W the death, it would depend on if you blamed yourself in any way.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 02:34 PM
10

Death would be easier if you were blindsided and were in love w your wife. She’s choosing to leave you. W a death, assuming it’s not preventable, would still be hard but you’d have a lot more support. W divorce sometimes depending on what she’s telling people, you may even lose some support you have now. No question, divorce is tougher.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 02:33 PM
3

Sometimes I blame the whole world for how unjust this ended up. It shouldn’t be this way and even if it were opposite I wouldn’t wish it on her. I just look at it like I’ll never have to go through this again, as that I can control. I’d rather be in a funeral than the star of another wedding, it’s never happening for me. I highly doubt I’ll ever live w a woman again, the only way I’d date one is if I can get away.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 05:06 PM
2

This is the right answer!
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 05:03 PM
1

Man what a good question…. I wish I had an answer as it’s so unfair i didn’t think it could get so one sided. I lost a lot more money than you my friend and even then she’s getting sympathy. Makes me ill.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 05:02 PM
3

The thought of reconciling w mine almost gives me triggers. I’d much rather be single than with her even if we were on a deserted island. Gives me the chills.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 05:01 PM
4

Oh I hope this is a joke (the “what if” part)…. You should never consider marriage to anyone again, but if you did, she’d be the very last woman you should consider marrying. This is just the facts my guy.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 04:59 PM
2

I highly doubt anyone w any common sense who takes time to read your story is going to believe her. It’s so wild that she makes herself look unhinged claiming this w a straight face. I know I would look at someone like what?????? Unless I’m reading this wrong, I’m at a loss man.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 01:43 PM
5

First of all, as long as you don’t have your own kids, there is no time limit. Don’t compare yourself to anyone, you are your own person. I respect that you’re worried about your parents, but it’s not your job to take care of them. We don’t tell guys in here “don’t worry your son is getting older, he’ll be taking care of you soon”. It’s the other way around. So as long as you’re not being a burden on your parents, you’re doing your job. Divorce sucks, no one has ever said let me get married so I…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 01:37 PM
3

I just want to say I have mad respect for you. I don’t have kids, and I’m not totally against dating someone w kids, but I will never be a step parent. I will never want to be involved with a child that has a father, as my parents are divorced and to this day I do not like seeing either of them w anyone else. It’s been a while, I was 16 when they split so I grew up w my parents together, so I never got used to seeing either one w another person. Now I’m older, my mom has remarried, I still would…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 01:30 PM
1

I have an insane phobia of surgery. I just had to get a dental implant and almost passed out cold before they could put me under…. There’s no way I’m ever having a vasectomy. I’m not going to have children, I’m 44. Have an entire team of people going to be taking care of my will, and I’m donating most of it to nature and to in theory benefit everyone (if you breathe air and like clean water)
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 11:21 PM
1

Well if you’re implying that I don’t have sex with women due to a lack of “game” I’d say you’re wrong, and if you had half of what I do to lose, and have been through what I have, it seems pretty ignorant to risk it for some sex. At least risky sex. I consider anything that isn’t paid for or spelled out to be very risky sex and you would too, logically.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 08:46 PM
1

Man I don’t want to get into it, but I had a much much worse settlement than you got, and I don’t mean that to downplay anything of yours just to say it makes zero logical sense at times, and sometimes I wonder if the judge had the wrong trial.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 08:14 PM
2

I’m not depressed at all my guy. I’m actually very wealthy and successful and almost lost a fortune in my divorce yo a women who never made over $15k a year. For me, to stuck my dick inside a woman, if anything goes wrong, she never has to work a day in her life again.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 08:07 PM
1

I hate when people say “game” as that implies something that isn’t real.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 08:05 PM
6

Nope…. I’ll be honest, I haven’t even wanted to have sex with a female. Good for you if you have that sort of thing set up, I didn’t, I was with my ex almost a decade and took our marriage seriously. It’s prob been over 3 years since I’ve had sex. I’m 44/M, I’d like to, but I’m also very financially well off and have a lot to lose, so the risk vs reward isn’t worth it for me tight now and may never be again. It’s unfortunate and not the way I’d write my life if I was in charge, but it’s where I …
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 08:04 PM
1

Sorry this happened to you bro. I was the victim of severe mental abuse for years at tge hand of my ex wife. I paid all the bills, she moved out of her parents into a house my father and I bought 15 years prior to the marriage. We kept every dollar separate and I would not allow her to pretend she’s sharing expenses by buying some groceries we both eat. She never offered but was fine w this arrangement. Until one day she just wanted ti get her own place as she’s never lived alone. Couple weeks l…
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 05:39 PM
3

What’s funny is if you really drill into them and insist on knowing why, they’ll always never admit but imply it’s entitlement plain and simple….. “yea I knew it was wrong…. Then why did you do it???? Looks away…. Because I thought I could, they never say that but it’s all they have
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 05:30 PM
5

I’m at a loss for words over the rape allegation. Have these women no shame? You raped her in 2018, yet she need to explain to you a lawyer made her report the non rape? These cases where all common sense just flies out the window drive me crazy! I’m my case, my wife made a total of $30k income in 6+ years married, she got $40k+ in temp maintenance, concealed her address claiming she was afraid of me, and was cohabitating the entire time w a guy she was having a baby with. On top of all of this,…
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 05:18 PM
3

We did not have any children together and she was paid 2+ years of temp maintenance, which was more than the income she brought in during our 6 years of marriage
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 05:08 PM
6

What pisses me off is they think it’s OK to lie and pretend everything is fine while they save up money (steal) behind your back until they’re good and ready to blindside you and leave. A lot of the times they take this “leaving” fund as their own money and ask everything else be split…. It’s totally disingenuous and if you’ve ever been gas lit and lied to like this it’s traumatic.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 04:02 PM
10

Thank you. It was very very tough, I was completely blindsided, trusted 100%, gave her her privacy and the benefit of the doubt. She took that and stabbed me directly between my shoulder blades
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 02:43 PM
25

I prob shouldn’t be writing this… but since leaving in Dec 2022: Ex: Got pregnant with a man 7 years younger who’s a delivery driver Moved out of my 4 bedroom $400k paid off home into splitting an apt w baby daddy. Is making $885.00/month/he’s paying $2-3k/month Since the seperation Dec 2022: 2024 was my S corps largest year ever based on revenue and net income I made a historical architectural find that’s making world wide news I won our divorce by any means it’s looked at, maintenance was term…
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 02:37 PM
35

1000% she’s been seeing someone. They do this, they start dating someone else and try it out and during this time they’ll act like everything is normal. But I bet you haven’t had sex in weeks, possibly months, because she’s not going to want to cheat on her new guy w you. It’s such a betrayal, but it’s not uncommon. Most of them end up doing this. There’s the ones that cheat and get caught, and there’s the ones that cheat and get out before you can gather any proof, but almost all of them that l…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 06:31 AM
1

Hopefully it’s illegal in OPs
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 06:07 AM
1

Dude she’s gathering “evidence” that will just prove whatever narrative she’s trying to build. This is ecil shit she’s doing, my ex did the same from the phone I paid for. She tricked me into giving it back to her when I took it because she ignored me, and the minute it was hooked up she told me “thank god I didn’t lose and of the evidence I have” … I had no idea! Women are evil like this, if making you look bad benefits them, they’ll make you look bad and won’t care it’s immoral or dishonest be…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 06:06 AM
1

Our society is very cruel to just keep rewarding these women. Someday hopefully it comes to an end, as they’ve done so much damage and they’re allowed to ruin 3-4 lives sometimes before their looks are shot.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 05:56 AM
3

I know the feeling my guy. I literally could not hire an attorney for a while as it just broke me up to have to hire someone to end my marriage.. still kills me what’s happened…. Unless you were left, especially blindsided, it’s a pain like no other. The person I was is dead, she killed him. But now I’m in another reality and have no choice but to find the best of it. I don’t think I’ll ever get over what happened, my life will never be what I planned it, and there’s not much I could have done d…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 05:53 AM
3

I dropped like $20k on Xmas and my bday last year. Got a 98” TCL miniLED, 77” LG G3, and then a 55 G4 for my bedroom , brand new couch (it’s nice), got all new lights, a new q990D sound system, and I’m forgetting a few things, my bday is December 28, no kids
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 05:45 AM
9

Well this sounds weird, but I actually discovered some rare historic Frank Lloyd Wright diazo (blueprint) drawings that have gotten world wide attention I might add, lol…. I mean, you asked…. And i literally have the articles that talk about how I found them while looking for a new house because I got a divorce. And no, I’m not joking. (My other account)
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 03:59 AM
2

It sucks man, and you do need to grieve. This is the death of who you thought your wife was, and it’s the same thing really. But grieving longer won’t help make things just, you need to do that for yourself. Take care of yourself first!
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 07:21 PM
6

Dude you were gaslit my guy. She was gonna leave you anyways as soon as you caught up w her. NO WAY anything regarding porn has anything to do w your wife (unless this is an ongoing thing). Sounds like gaslighting to me)
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 07:19 PM
1

Game…. My friend I’m the president of a large company, I don’t need game. I don’t respect anyone who lies or exaggerates to get in anyone’s pants.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 04:18 AM
3

Honestly what changed??? Who knows. My ex was a completely different person, the kind of person I didn’t like most likely intentionally. She became worse. After leaving me because I “worked too much” she started aging backwards. Doing stuff that women in their 20s would do in her mid 30s, then it was stuff mid and younger 20s would do in her late 30s. I do not miss you after almost 3 years and am so happy it ended up like it did.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 04:17 AM
2

Give yourself time for this. You may trust her now and feel she’ll be fair, but down the line she may not always be so reasonable. Remember money now, comes with a value. Guaranteed $10k is worth more than $100k you have to chase. If she’s willing to make those trades now, get the inevitable ones done like the house.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 04:04 AM
2

Do you have a podcast? I need to learn how to be Alpha 😂😂
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 02:01 AM
6

What???? As if that’s less trouble…. Also, you can’t just become gay…. If you enjoy men, you’re gay. (Good for you fella, but this is the divorce forum for men, 99% who were married to women.).
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 01:58 AM
2

Much cleaner and safer. At least you know what you’re working with.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 01:56 AM
2

Thanks for the answers… so did you steer the conversation that way? Was it just assumed? (Shut door to hotel room she’s going down? Or did you have to discuss things w her first?). Was she hot? Did you pick her or did you just call a number and one shows up? Thanks again, this is real, no shame meant whatsoever, genuine curiosity most people are too insecure to share, appreciate that’s not you!
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 01:54 AM
6

Cheaper than dating. I would have rather hired a hooker for every time I had sex with my ex wife. It would have been good sex and less expensive.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 01:13 AM
3

First of all, congrats. Was it at all awkward? I’ve thought about it in the sense that I do think it’s a better “cost” (woild say investment, but nooo) I think it’s less trouble, and you get more for your effort than trying to date someone legit, if you’re looking for sex. Having sex w anyone who doesn’t know it’s just sex is way way way riskier to your life, health, and well being than a sex worker!
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 01:12 AM
10

Honestly I don’t really care anymore. It’s not important and it’s soooooo not worth the time/effort/RISK. I was blessed w a lower sex drive I guess, and I thank god for it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 12:29 AM
3

I’ve learned the judge can do almost anything they want. Don’t believe me, go to ChatGPT and be yourself and ask if what will legally happen, say if you paid for everything, she never contributed, and the deed and mortgage are in your name. It will cite the laws why you get to keep your property, things will go your way, etc… it will even cite laws, Now hit the “temp chat” button and be your ex, and explain her situation. ChatGPT will tell you she’s right and cite laws why she’s entitled to the …
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 12:25 AM
4

Believe me, I know! My ex never made over $12k/year our entire marriage, one year she made $0.00. Yet she actually believed she was entitled to half the equity I was building over 15 years before we married and over 10 before I knew she existed. She was in middle school when I bought my house, and not only did she think she was entitled, so her, I was stealing her money! It’s insane what they’ll believe, and it’s always whatever absolves them of all guilt.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 03:06 PM
1

But that’s a lifestyle in itself that I don’t choose to be.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 03:22 AM
4

Sorry bro…. For me, she left and told me it was for a silly reason. Even after all the signs, she gas lit me so much 6 months later when I saw the pics I told myself they were fake (until it sunk in).
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 03:22 AM
5

Thing is, and I’m sure you’re right, it’s been almost 3 years since she left, (they had a baby within 6 months) and they’re still together, but I’d hate to be in a relationship where you’d know she’d cheat, because she did w you. I despise cheaters, and have zero respect, unless they can be truthful , admit it, and are remorseful. I wouldn’t date one, but I might be able to respect one.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 03:20 AM
9

Totally completely stabbed in the back blindsided. So blindsided I didn’t even find out until 6 months after she moved out and almost couldn’t believe the pics were real. Some people literally have 0 empathy. They might be able to give you the definition and they’re capable of faking it, but anyone who can do that for that long does not feel it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 03:17 AM
3

I mean there’s laws that you don’t know, I didn’t know, she didn’t know, etc. that without a lawyer nothing else will matter. As a man, usually you need to move out of a marital home because someone says because the kids are staying, and that someone is usually the woman. Unless you have little assets, no kids, and were married a short time, you need an attorney. If all 3 of those things are stones (ala can’t get blood from a stone), then an attorney won’t change the facts. But usually these peo…
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 10:01 PM
3

I did throw my ring out of a moving car window. My hope is someday, someone finds it and it makes their day.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 09:51 PM
4

Unless you had some tradition you didn’t do when married, chances are it wasn’t a good day anyways. Mine was miserable… no matter what I got her, she obviously expected more. This was a woman who agreed w me we wouldn’t do V day gifts (we had several gifting opportunities starting Xmas eve) and treated me like shit (because what I later found out) “you didn’t get your GF a Vday gift). And no, she didn’t get me one.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 09:50 PM
25

My man, are you into self torture? Because that’s what you’re doing to yourself even thinking about her in this way. As much as you’d like to believe your STBX is special, this is absolutely objectively not true. She is a woman who will age in lose her looks like they all do, every single one of them. You are making her into be something she’s not. As soon as you fall for someone else you’ll laugh at yourself for posting this. Please give yourself a break and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 02:43 AM
7

Just those that matter, like her boss, the guys wife, her parents, etc….
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 02:28 AM
3

My ex abused me even worse than this…. It’s not about looking back.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 05:31 PM
2

I’m not saying you did, just clarifying my position
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 05:28 PM
1

100%, the mocking is so disrespectful… she sounds self destructive…. I had a wife that immediately cheated on me and left, so I know the situation, and there was mocking involved which stung hard… once they stop standing up for you as their man, it’s over…. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 04:00 PM
1

Yes, dead on…. She will at min completely forgive herself and blame everything on you… especially if she ran to another man’s arms…. My ex didn’t go one day being single… not the woman I knew, and she’s not, that woman is gone and I mourned the death of her already…. My ex def 100% blamed her cheating on me, it’s been almost 3 years since she left and she’s still trying to get money out of me.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 03:59 PM
1

It’s the respondent, it can feel like defendant. Almost no one wants to pay their ex wife more than they have to, and I’m sure the judge is well aware of tha…. As if anyone would just be able to provide $480k for anyone, it’s unenforceable… you do have an attorney, right?
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 03:55 PM
1

If you just go into it w the thought “I’m gonna feel miserable and sorry for myself” don’t be surprised if that happens.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 03:49 PM
2

Any drug abuse is bad.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 03:48 PM
1

I do think he has a responsibility to provide his child w the best life possible. This won’t be good if it gets back you knew she was using and let him stay w her.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 03:47 PM
2

I stopped cold at “other baby daddy”…. That’s all I need to know, along w the headline, and I can tell you you’re giving her way way too much thought and short changing yourself my man. This isn’t going anywhere, it’s over, take care of your kids, do not leave them w someone who doesn’t care it gets back to you she’s so openly abusing drugs.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 03:46 PM
2

Yea but this can become negative feedback. It’s real easy to feel sorry for yourself when you give yourself permission.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 03:41 PM
2

This will really help w overall mental health.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 03:40 PM
1

I think it’s healthy to treat yourself to something. It doenst need to be the day of, but acknowledge it and be kind to yourself. A lot of this divorce shit is self punishing, especially if you were left. I did it too, but it made a world of difference to break out of it. I look forward to my own life now and I decide my own happiness…
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 03:39 PM
1

I think you should celebrate your own bday, and have a plan for yourself. If anyone wants to come, if it doenst hold you back they can meet you there. This is about repairing too. No offense against OP but it’s kinda pathetic to be asking others what to do about your own bday. And I was pathetic too. 2022 is when I was first hit, it wasn’t until 23 I went out by myself and had a blast. You wnat to be the guy that already has plans, it’s your fucking bday! My bday is 12/28, so it rolls right in w…
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 03:35 PM
1

Man, the first year, 2022, I was so down on myself … and had so much fun, I started regularly rolling solo…. Best company you can possibly get! I don’t mind spending money on the guy, he gets top end everything. I was looking forward to 2022 so much, other people wanted to come and I told them nope, I’m busy! Can’t wait, coming up soon
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 03:22 PM
3

Every Xmas (my bday is 12/28) since I’ve been seperated I make a point to go out and have a crazy night at the casino. First year I felt sorry for myself, but after having so much fun, I short changed myself during the marriage way too much, and now I’d look at spending time w her as a massive step down.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 01:51 PM
2

Well, your kid is still your kid. Don’t think this changes any of that, period. If you’re asking me, I’d say you don’t even want to ask this. Seriously, you’re asking us, as a grown adult, what you should do about your bday. No offense meant, I’m just saying, make your life so you never have to ask anyone that again.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 01:49 PM
3

It’s crazy if you were cheated on, just imagining gettting rewarded for this situation is demoralizing.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 02:40 PM
7

Anniversary? Don’t care, don’t notice…. Holidays? Try to make a new tradition. Every Xmas now I take an Uber to the casino and have some drinks ans gamble by myself. I had so much fun first year, I wouldn’t let anyone come with the next and I can’t wait for this Xmas…. Prob do it until I die as I don’t have kids…. It’s actually a blast!
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 01:30 AM
3

My man don’t feel bad, I did the same thing… noticed her wearing new sexy panties and bras, yet I’ve never seen them, as her husband, so who is she wearing these for??…. “Oh I just like to make myself feel good”…. She’s out late, doesn’t come home, I drive by her friends place….. where are you? “I’m at friends!” I drove by, where is your car? “Oh it’s in the garage” when I know no one ever parks in the garage and it would be extremely unusual…. But again, if you don’t think like a cheater you do…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 09:22 PM
2

And it’s so hard to understand when you’re not a cheater and don’t think like one. It only makes sense in hindsight after you know she’s cheating and gaslighting. While it’s happening you hope so bad for your intuition to be wrong…. She’s just working late…. She just stayed over at her friends…. But the time I actually was working late? “You CHEATER!!!”
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 08:55 PM
4

My ex ended up taking our dog of 10 years and I never got to say goodbye to him. I got my own puppy and he’s so much better. But don’t let pets affect this, in hindsight the fact I didn’t have to interact with my ex and got to move on sooner is a benefit, and sometimes it’s not worth the trouble. It’s unfair as hell, but it’s not worth jail time or the money you’ll spend getting a pet back when you can get your own. But I do feel you and sorry this is happening.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 08:20 PM
4

I experienced feeling more like a prolonged fight in a funhouse with one steak knife between us. It’s good you’re happy my man, but don’t worry so much about how this makes your ex feel or compare your happiness to hers. Usually the one who wants the divorce ends up worse off, as they usually can’t find happiness, and changing who they’re married too isn’t going to change that fact…. Usually the one who’s left, especially if they were happy and it was out of the blue, ends up much better off as …
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 08:15 PM
3

I had a wife project her cheating on to me, someone who never considered it, and I bought her gas lighting until she left. I don’t need to look anyone up, I’ve lived it! But thanks for the suggestion
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 07:33 PM
7

If you dont have that moral compass, the act of getting caught is the real problem. Odds are she’s cheated before and odds are great that she’s cheat again, it’s getting caught she’ll adjust. As long as you can’t prove it, it didn’t happen.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 07:30 PM
4

She regrets the consequences that she’ll now have to face as she failed to keep you from learning about the cheating. For people like this, it’s getting caught that matters. If you don’t catch them, it didn’t happen. Which means lies, stories, and gaslighting to the max, like what she’s doing by showing you she “regrets” it, gas lighting, you asking this question shows she knows what shes doing.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 07:27 PM
8

My man this is dangerous thinking…. If you care about whether or not she regrets it, you’re still giving her way too much thought…. They regret it if it goes bad, but not until then, and if it’s in their best interests to come crawling back, they will, but it doesn’t change anything. They don’t change.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 07:20 PM
8

My ex cheated 2 years in, and a guy beat the shit out of her. Stupid me took her back. Just chucked me out like some trash until she was crying everyday. 8 years later repeated same thing, this time we were done. I’m convinced you have to be a certain type of person to consider cheating as it never crossed my mind as if I’m in a relationship I’m loyal and happy, or I’ll end it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 07:18 PM
7

This question gave me triggers lol
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 07:16 PM
5

Exactly! Regret it?? If you know she cheated she regrets one thing, getting caught. If you don’t know, she doenst regret anything. It’s your fault!
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 07:16 PM
12

You asking this has me anxious. No they don’t regret it, or they wouldn’t do it. A man just doesn’t chuck his wife out like a bag of trash. If he’s left, she already cheated and he SHOULD leave. A cheater doesn’t regret cheating they regret getting caught.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 07:15 PM
8

Be grateful and never ever consider remarriage. There’s no reason, even if you have a child. Any legal or financial benefit you get comes w the risk of losing almost everything and in some cases your freedom! It’s not worth the risk, and the less you have the more you have to lose as that means anything you acquire is marital. Percentage wise the less money you have the more you’ll lose, and the more money you have the more dollar figure you’ll lose. Any gain is canceled by that massive risk, an…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 07:59 PM
3

Imagine if in every relationship you ever got into, there was a huge monetary reward for you after you left? Most of these women are using men as a way to supplement their income anyways.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 06:33 PM
3

It’s depends on why, but if you didn’t cheat, didn’t physically/mentally abuse her, and she just wants to move on; if you’re a good husband and person and she just fell for someone else at work or whatever; she will make sure in her world you are a monster and you’re the reason she fell for someone else. She doesn’t want any punishment for it, so if she can gaslight you into being the bad guy, everything works a lot easier for her. These are the situations I’m referring to. OPs ex wanting him de…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 05:56 PM
5

They think they have a right or a duty to destroy you as they don’t want anyone else to be with you. They want to ideally move on w as much money and little blame as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 05:50 PM
3

100% I get what you’re talking about because my ex thought it was her right to see my life destroyed because she wanted to move on. She didn’t want to hear about me moving on too, and I don’t mean w someone else I mean moving on period. She would have been happy if something happened to me and she got 100% of my money/assets.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 05:49 PM
4

It doesn’t surprise me as awful as it is…. I believe that saying “hell hath no fury” and that’s not a new saying…. Once they get in this mindset where they want to move on, you’re the enemy and she doesn’t want to move on fairly, she wants to destroy you! A big part is they don’t want to see anyone else date you, the worse off they can leave you, the harder it is for you to move on.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 05:47 PM
3

Seriously I don’t even care about sex anymore. It’s so much work for so little reward, and I’m so much happier. So much less stressed out than when I was married. I’m sure it’s nice, as long as you’re not paying for years! I hope every guy here never considers remarrying, it’s hard to feel bad for those guys.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/25 02:41 AM
4

Man oh man is marriage such a horrible idea. I just got out of a brutal one fight fight in a funhouse, where there’s one knife between you and you’re just stabbing each other until someone’s dead. It’s such a horrible idea and there’s no possibility I’d ever entertain the thought of ever getting married again. That’s all I had to add, good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/25 02:39 AM
5

I just went through this successfully. But not nearly as clean as I was hoping for. I brought AP into our trial. The system is so messed up I need to appeal as the judge got the law totally wrong in my case. It’s basically a system designed to reward the lower earner, no matter what. The first time I heard my wife acknowledge how successful I am was in the courtroom, before that anything I brought up career wise was “me being a narcissist”. She left because she claimed all I cared about was mone…
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 02:19 PM
1

I’m in the middle of a divorce case where the judge signed two conflicting final judgements, admits my wife of 6 years isn’t on the title or mortgage, admits she never contributed to household bills or any of the costs of the house, both financially as well as physically (we had no children), judge stated I owned the home over 15 years before marriage w my father, whos still on the title and mortgage, and he still awarded her HALF the equity. It’s like he wasn’t at the trial and just signed what…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 03:53 PM
2

Let the gaslight shine down on me! She knows what she’s doing is wrong and it’s coming out as anger. Do not put up w ANY disrespect. You guys have been married 25 years, it does not mean she’s allowed to disrespect your relationship. If I were you I’d make it clear if it continues you’re done and follow through! I’m 44, and I was left out of the blue a few years ago. It was the best thing that’s happened to me in the last 2 decades (no kids).
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 02:59 PM
3

Well said
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 11:27 PM
12

There’s just no value in spending time thinking about someone that said “I don’t want to be with you romantically”, not only said it, but declared it for all the world. I’m 44/M went through a terrible betrayal, and I just don’t see the world the same anymore. No specific person is so special, you should allow them to treat you like garbage. You’re short changing your own life any time you spend thinking about this person.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 11:26 PM
5

Yep, let him slip up and say something or give her something and she’ll take advantage of it. A ton of guys are confused and think she’s sending some kind of a message (even I did) by filing but that’s not the truth. She doesn’t care if you hooked up with another woman as she knows that’s a possibility.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/25 08:00 PM
9

Yea dude she’s going through the motions… she’ll pretend to be friendly, as it’s better for her. Have you discovered she’s cheating yet? Odds are she is, they usually don’t file until she has another lease going or she’s going to move into his place.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/25 07:58 PM
2

I’m sorry bro… things are going to get better, I promise. It’s not what you want to hear, but it’s the truth.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/25 12:31 AM
2

This is literally the answer for most guys. Might not be golf, might not be a sport, but there’s something out there you like to do, and you need to do it and do it some more (not substances or thrills, but there’s a hobby or skill you like to to not for money but for recreation. Find others that like to do this too and then you’ll knit how to take it from there.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/25 06:36 PM
2

Took me almost 3 years. Not over yet. Trial was on 4/30/25, and still waiting for verdict.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/25 03:05 AM
1

Exactly, and not something I want people I meet seeing as that’s not me anymore and never will be again.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/25 08:33 PM
1

Yea I hate that.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/25 08:32 PM
2

I did the opposite. You’d never know I was married unless you looked me up. I want to forget what she looked like. Her time in my life was painful and full of betrayal and dishonesty, and it’s not good for my self esteem. Just wanted to give a dissenting opinion.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/25 08:31 PM
7

3 years for me and my life is by far better than it’s ever been. Haven’t dated anyone yet either and I’m so happy. I think it forced me to deal w the things that were making me unhappy, and it sure wasn’t women or the last of someone abusing me because they’re female and were taught that’s how relationships work, (happy wife happy life, ask the boss, my better half, etc). I claimed my self respect and if anyone wants to even be around me they need to recognize and respect me too, or I’ll leave. …
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/25 12:53 PM
2

That’s gaslighting at its finest brother. You’ll find out a lot of the things you supposedly feel so guilty for are ridiculous. When they really get into you you’ll be apologizing for being a responsible adult and good father. Be careful admitting to anything right now. No one is perfect, but a lot of things may be just her trying to engineer a way to leave without feeling guilty and making everything your fault. When you agree, you validate what she’s saying, sometimes forever. Especially w kid…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 06:23 PM
2

We’re all flawed but gaslighting can make you accept things like it’s your fault you work too much or you didn’t go out and party enough… just make sure whatever you’re blaming yourself for isn’t her creation. You’re a person too. I’ll give you an example, I arrived 10 mins later to the wedding I paid for that included everything she wanted, she held this against me for years and I felt guilty. But it was my wedding day too! It didn’t affect anything whatsoever… she went out w her friends and st…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 05:39 PM
1

You're 100% correct that even attempting to divorce a woman expecting your child is like hanging a sign up that says "destroy me" and actually provoking some judges to do just that. It's only 9 months (hopefully less) and then you can get it started and actually tell the court it's in the child’s best interests if you divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 01:00 AM
3

Man I hope you know you were being gaslit like most of us are.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 12:26 AM
1

I like this answer and think it’s the best option. If you can’t make it work OP, at least hopefully things improve for a while and you can leave her knowing you tried everything and before your child knows what life is like w you two together.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 12:24 AM
2

Agreed. OPs going to look like a total scum bag. I don’t blame him for wanting a divorce. But they’ve been together 9 years and he gets her pregnant after he married her. There’s nothing that is going to make him look like anything other than a complete loser who’s avoiding having children with his wife! There’s just no answer here that will give him any sympathy and anything he says about her will be chalked up to her having hormones, and then it’s PPD. OP is on the hook for at min a few years,…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 12:20 AM
0

Not at all buddy, I just spent 3 years going through this and won a trial! I’m legit trying to help. I just can’t think of anything you can do. When did you find out? How far along is she? I was totally gaslit and could be in a worse position than you are if the wind blew differently.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/25 11:15 PM
7

Man I have to say, WHY did you marry her? 8 years, you knew she was difficult. Not only did you marry her, you got her pregnant! Now strictly from business professional logical thinking, what were you doing??? It’s tough to feel bad for you. From an emotional, good guy that I am opinion, you need to take care of your child. That’s not an option. It’s also not an option for you to tell her she can or can’t have the baby, it doesn’t matter, it’s her choice now, and you need to not only accept it, …
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/25 10:58 PM
5

Id be changing that real quick!
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/25 04:57 PM
4

What you make is half hers. What she makes is hers.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 07:53 PM
1

Im fine man… cant be putting details like that out there lol
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 06:26 PM
8

Dude I didn’t know my wife cheated until 6 months after she left. She told me there was no one then ghosted me and filed…. Said she just wanted her own place.. 6 mone down the road I get a friend suggestion on Facebook w a guy w her in his profile pic, and they had been in a relationship since two weeks after she moved out… my trial is in 10 days and 6 minute… she doesn’t give a shit about you or your feelings at all, it will shock you when you learn the truth… I was totally confused…. She’s a h…
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 05:54 PM
15

Emotional gaslighting at its finest w the April fools.. I was gaslit emotionally and it’s called emotion whiplash. Not in the exact same way but very simliar. She is prob in love w someone else. This is what happens. She cheated, got away w it, and has been dating someone. You’re not a bad guy, you’re the father of her child. She doesn’t want to just throw you away. But she’s in love w someone else. She is trying to get you to throw her out, and you prob won’t. So she’s just filing and using you…
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 05:32 PM
6

You’re gonna be fine my friend! Most of us know what you’re going through. This is a blessing in disguise, remember that. Although it’s the end of what you thought your life would be like, it’s the beginning of something you’d never imagine and it can be unbelievable beyond words! But start small… keep coming here and reading…. Reddit and reading stories and commenting with all you guys really helped me more than anything else did! Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 12:53 AM
4

I don’t think people will judge against your kids. You can certainly have your own life outside being a parent. If you’re a responsible good person who legit wants to find love, I don’t think anything about what you’ve shared would hold you back.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 01:16 AM
1

I think you’re going to have a very very tough time getting 1 date unless you fix that or wait. I hope you prove me wrong. This is why I wouldn’t recommend you even attempt to date. Take care of yourself; use this time to rebuild who you are and how you present yourself and then when you get your teeth fixed you’ll be more confident than ever and will be able to find the right woman for you. Good luck! I just think it’s too big of a hill to climb. Imagine you’re a woman and you get 15-20 likes a…
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 12:52 PM
1

I’m just giving you my honest opinion. I don’t think you’re going to find the woman you want while missing 2 front teeth. So what if you have to take it out eating, it’s much better than never having something in. I’m just being totally honest that there’s no way I could see past missing two front teeth. It completely changes your entire appearance. Any woman you find will date you will not be someone you would date yourself after you get your teeth fixed. You’re not a bad looking person when yo…
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 12:42 PM
2

Good luck buddy! I really think you should either get a bridge/flipper or just refrain from dating. Look at it like this, would you be interested in a woman that was missing her two front teeth? I know teeth aren’t always perfect, and frankly I find it cute when someone has a non perfect smile, but there’s no way I’d consider dating a woman that was missing her two front teeth. I know this may sound shallow, but there’s also no way I’d expect anyone to date me if that was the case. Take this tim…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 10:43 PM
2

Woah what happened here? Will say that’s extremely rare in 40s dating world.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 10:25 PM
2

Yea the available 24/7 thing would totally throw me off. No offense whatsoever OP, but I haven’t been available 24/7 ever in my life. Even if you are, at least pretend like you have something to do. Start job searching and make the search your job until you find something, at least that way you can say you’re working in such and such field and in between positions. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 10:23 PM
3

It’s really hard, because if you are a happy successful person naturally that looks like being in a relationship, but if you can learn to get passed that, you can really be happier than ever, and I also have women throwing themselves at me and want nothing to do with it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 04:46 AM
4

Mine did exactly same thing.. started off the case by having her address sealed because she was scared “I would come to her house”… after she moved out, she told me she just wanted her own place and it was my fault that she needed to move out..,. Then find out 6 months later she was in full blown relationship less than 2 weeks after she moved out. I also got her bank statements in the divorce and on the worst night of my life (day I came home and everything was gone, even my dog, w no warning) s…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 03:36 AM
6

I’m 30 months out of separation. Been recently totally ans completely over my STBX (trial scheduled for 4/30 but I think she’s going to settle and I’m going to win)… no kids, 44/M…found an old iPhone just today and went through some texts during the time it went down and it’s exactly as I suspected. She was totally checked out but it was not my fault for not seeing it as she was stringing me along. She tried to create a narrative that the marriage failing would be my fault and at the time she re…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 03:08 AM
2

In almost every case of MC I’ve read about, someone thinks the counselor is taking their side and the other resents it. I’ve also found a lot of people go just to feel less guilty (I tried my best!).
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 04:22 PM
5

My god dude my wife did the same exact shit to me! It’s total gaslighting. It would be like a shot and a miss every night, and mine wasn’t on BC and had those 10 day periods, know exactly what you’re talking about, EXACTLY! In the last year, I paid for her to go see her favorite band and she literally did it on vacation! Then she says “why are you so upset, you’re crazy, just walked out of the room last night. As if she doesn’t know why. This was SOOO fucking frustrating, in fact I’ll never date…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 02:28 AM
7

Oh 100%. During the last year of my marriage my ex gaslit me into thinking she had an infection, then it was something else, and by the end I was almost begging for sex from her, didn’t want to go get it somewhere else. She should have been ashamed of herself. Thing is, they know this, they know you’re not going to cheat (most of us) and they’ll use sex to break us down as they know they are the only realistic source for us, I’d guess most of us would not pay for sex, or want to be having sex ou…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 11:13 PM
6

I’m sorry but just want to say anyone that stays in a sexless marriage 11 years has their own issues.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 11:09 PM
8

I’d say not because they’re women, because the position the court puts them in that it’s easier for them to become dramatic and display vindictive behavior. Just in my experience and what I’ve seen. My ex ended up doing some things I’d never thought she’d do, but I think people change when there’s money on the table. They no longer care about morals if they can use the legal system legally obtain money from you. I think there’s a lot more situations where the court allows the lower earner to ben…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 06:07 PM
1

Yea I see that.. I read it again. I would love to hear his take.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 12:59 PM
20

It’s worth every dollar. Money for revenge is hardly an expense. Get yourself going to be the best person you can be—>she will get jealous—>revenge
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 02:34 AM
6

NOOOOOOO!!! Buddy this same exact sitch happened to me (minus the kid), and it’s called emotional whiplash.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/25 01:59 AM
1

It was. Glad things worked out the way they do as after getting her discovery, he has been paying all her bills since they moved in together (this was 2023, moved in Oct). I’m SOOOO glad we never had a child and my life is better than ever. I own a business and we just had our best year ever. Started it a year before me and the ex met, she did not spend $1 of her $33k gross income during the 7 we were married on any bills, and she can’t even claim that she emotionally helped me when we just had …
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 09:55 PM
3

I didn’t discover AP until 6 months down the road. I got a “friend suggestion” from some guy I’ve never heard of before w his arm around my wife. Clicked on it, and they have “been in a relationship” since 2 weeks after she told me she wanted a divorce. At the time even after this date; she tried to guilt trip me about canceling her $800/month health insurance, wished me happy bday, merry Xmas and swore there was no one else. She filed in beggining of March, Pregnant in May.. So be careful, you …
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 09:50 PM
4

She just withheld sex from me claiming an infection and then gaslighting me to make it my fault. Would be fine w the first one, she slowed it down like they all do, and I personally don’t need to be having a lot of sex, but I do need some sex and affection from my wife. It’s crazy when you look at it from her side, there is zero chance I would ever purposely disconnect from my wife, someone I’m in love with, knowingly and intentionally. It would break me to see them breaking. But just like every…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 09:19 PM
12

One thing I don’t miss, as there was nothing to miss! lol
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 09:04 PM
3

I would say interview attorneys and ask them how they see this case unfolding. Youre looking for one that shares your vision. Tell them what you’re hoping to accomplish. You can usually tell if you vibe with them or you don’t. If you feel in any way uncomfortable talking to someone, move on, as you’ll be sharing a lot of personal details. Male v Female doesn’t really matter, you’ll just be better off with whoever you’re the most comfortable with and who matches your goals. I will say it’s not an…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 12:42 AM
3

In my case over $3M, she’s getting like $35,000. But absolutely no contributions, house was in mine and my father’s name and she got caught lying about cohabitation. 6 year marriage no kids, she cheated.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 06:31 AM
6

The reason it’s so hard for men is most of us were too damn busy taking care of her to realize she was out w the AP. She most likely hid it from us until it was way too late. Of course we’re going to be depressed when it’s much harder for us, as discarded men, to find another relationship. For a woman it’s a matter of going where men are and just not ignoring or denying the attention she’ll inevitably get. For us, even if we’re really good looking (which I happen to believe I am) it’s not easy w…
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 02:52 AM
2

Very well said!
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 01:32 AM
9

Who would remarry? Don’t trust anyone’s judgment that would to even rely on any statistics. 100% are stupid.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 01:28 AM
3

Exactly my guy they want it both ways. When my wife left me she didn’t want any of our debt, just our assets. Stick with those boundaries, as she doesn’t get the benefits of being with you anymore. My ex does not get to enjoy my money and lifestyle anymore, she chose to leave.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 02:36 AM
2

Man I’ve been the oldest in this situation and it sucks! It’s good your younger kids are younger, the younger the better for divorce and kids. I was 16, and it was HELL! I grew up in a family, where we had dinner together that kind of thing. After I turned 16, I haven’t had a family dinner since, except w my ex wife’s (yep, of course I ended up getting a divorce and I’m shocked sometimes how closely it mirrors my parents, except I don’t have any kids, swore I’d never put a kid through what I wen…
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/25 10:15 PM
3

I loved telling everyone my wife was pregnant, this was pure joy! Oh it wasn’t mine.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/25 08:50 PM
9

We can easily do this if we go older. Wish I was mid 20s I’d be looking for some divorced rich chick lmao We just care too much about looks. A pretty woman is born rich if she plays her cards right.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 03:32 AM
25

What kind of business? I’m paying $1600/month in alimony for a 6 year marriage w no children, have been paying over 2 years now, and counting. I own a commercial painting business, new construction, I’m a contractor, relatively large business >$2M rev. I would be fucked if we had a kid.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 03:30 AM
1

I ended up chucking it out of a car window one day. It was like a $500 gold band, all beat up, and the thought of having to go through selling it for a few hundred bucks maybe. I figured I’d rather make someone’s day in the future, someday hopefully someone finds it metal detecting.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 03:45 AM
4

Awesome post man! I’m close to you, a little bit north. I’ve realized music has def helped me too, I missed out on so much during my marriage. I just started playing GTA 5 the other day and realized I never even played this as my ex was screwing with my head big time when it came out. It’s crazy to trace things back and I can understand how I missed out on some things that were truly hobbies of mine and I was stuck dealing mentally w gas lighting and cheating. It’s so nice now to rediscover thin…
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 03:40 AM
1

No it didn’t make any difference to him. It was a ridiculously poor written report but really the only thing I need is that she is able to make $40k. It’s just good because I know some people that make $880/month that are still in HS so she can’t really claim that’s all she can make. She also can’t use her kid as a reason she can’t work as it’s not my kid. As far as our divorce is concerned, it doesn’t really matter. I’m totally over this woman, this has went on for 29 months now so it’s just ge…
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/25 09:20 PM
1

No he found she could be making mid $40k within 60 days. We are keeping the report because we proved she’s cohabitating. She claims she is grossing $880/month right now. Her finances are all messed up because her man and her share an apartment. Basically maintenance is being canceled for good this month and just gotta settle w her. She thinks I have millions in bitcoin but it’s not the case.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/25 08:39 PM
3

I haven’t burned the house down. The dog hasn’t starved to death. There isn’t piles and piles of garbage in the garage.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/25 01:41 AM
4

Omg mine would do this too! It was so fucking annoying! It’s unbelievable I’ve been driving around 2.5 years now without her saying a word and haven’t smashed up any vehicles. It’s unbelievable!
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/25 01:28 AM
5

It will def get better! I did that too, went and got a puppy so I still had a reason to go home at lunch and feed him, take him out. She took our dog without letting me say goodbye to him. But there is ZERO CHANCE if I could do it over I would choose to continue the marriage now that I’m out of it almost 30 months. She made me responsible for her happiness and did everything possible to make it as difficult as possible for me to make her happy. In the end it was her, not me, that failed at being…
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 08:08 PM
5

Omg this would make me want to scream!! There was a time I pulled over and said you drive. She would make it a habit of glancing at the speedometer and criticizing my speed. Going anywhere w her was like taking a DMW license test.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 08:05 PM
8

Hahahahah!!!! This was a HUGE deal w my marriage. I lived in my home 15 years prior to us getting married. Every time I loaded the dishwasher she would redo it, so I just stopped doing it. Then she claimed her contributing to the marriage were loaded the dishwasher. It wasn’t until after my ex moved out, I creepily one day discovered the screws on every single lightswitch plate and plug plate in the house were perfectly aligned. She went through and had to have everything so perfect, yet didn’t …
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 08:03 PM
4

Oh god no! Do any of you guys (I cannot be the only one) remember being a kid and your friend had that mom that was an absolute bitch? She was overweight, mean, didn’t even try to take care of herself physically in any way, short hair and made you wonder how anyone even had sex w her to produce the friend you’re with? I used to look at said friends dad and think “how do you do it?” I swore to myself I’d never be one of these guys and have since held up my word to my younger self.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 03:36 PM
1

Yes be glad she’s gone. Don’t take her back!
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 02:33 AM
3

Wow man she sounds exactly like my ex! She would give me shit about women i dated before we even knew each other. Same exact thing here, she was staying out until like 4-5AM… then she just didn’t come home at all; and it was over! This is so alike it’s scary. My ex did same exact thing where nothing I ever did was right and it was all my fault. Then you change and try to get on her good side and even if you do everything right they’ll make sure something is wrong and you’ll be back to being the …
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 01:07 AM
7

No no no…. I get this exact same thing confused all the time thinking about timeline. I keep seeing this shit. My wife left me for a guy 12 years younger than me and 7 younger than her. But she was absolutely dating this guy before she left you. When they leave, they do it for two reasons: 1). He’s pressuring her to finally make it official w you (odds are he’s only known things as you guys are just married in name only and don’t even talk, don’t ever have sex) 2) she feels pressured like she ne…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/25 11:21 PM
7

Ha! They need to do this for several reasons: 1) they are super insecure about this, unless you were totally seeing it coming 2) they need to make you out to be the bad guy because they prob know what they’re doing to you financially is totally unfair. If you were a good husband and a good father and she just got bored and found a fuck buddy, then odds are it would be pretty hard for her to destroy you like she prob is. 3) whoever AP is (and there’s always an AP if she left), she compares him to…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/25 10:40 PM
5

She’s seeing someone else. Her telling him after this time just means she’s absolutely sure of it. Watch OP, down the line you’ll find out this weekend was when her and AP become official. It was EXACTLY like this for me. She moved out because “she’s never had her own place and just wanted to live alone” and our marriage had been having problems (why do you think?). She strung me along even after she left telling me “I want to work on our marriage”. Then she told me a month later she wanted a di…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/25 09:57 PM
9

100% she’s cheating on you. 100% your marriage is over. 100% things will get better! At least it’s not 25 years of marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/25 09:54 PM
2

It totally is. I took care of my ex spouse for over a decade but just dipped out and started banging some guy at work 12 years younger than me. It’s like she just plugged and played a spouse.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/25 12:35 AM
2

If Divorce is NYC you’re in Manhattan my friend.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 11:14 PM
3

I’ve read it’s as high as 90%
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 11:09 PM
1

I have a genuine answer for you. She is with someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 11:09 PM
12

My spouse 100% subcontracted out her happiness to me. I never wanted this responsibility.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 11:08 PM
-1

Marriage is such a bad deal for a man without children. I wanted to be married before we had a kid. I would advise my son (who I don’t have) to wait until he has a child to get married.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 11:07 PM
13

I think a lot of it is social media. I know when I was married my wife would sit on Facebook constantly and compare her level of happiness with whatever other people in her extended network were doing. I could never keep up. I’d take her on a vacation to FL for a week—have to rent the car, the hotel, get plane tickets (and she’d end up criticizing everything), it was extremely exhausting. We’d get back and the next weekend she’s on Facebook looking at a friend’s post about being at such and such…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 11:06 PM
2

Tough age. I was this age too. I can say as a kid if you’re debating, the younger the kids are the better. It was such a shock for me as I grew up in a family setting my first 16 years of life, and I haven’t had a sit down dinner with my family in decades! It’s really weird as I went from having loving mother and father to two people that strongly disliked each other. Also I will say to this day I never knew the details surrounding their divorce. I also grew up where adults told me “if your pare…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 03:41 PM
16

Man I remember being a kid, coming home and my dad’s truck wasn’t there and I just knew. I seriously remember this moment. Then my mom came and told me he wouldn’t be coming home for a while. I was 16 just got my license. I ended up moving in with my father a few weeks after that, and him and I are super close to this day. I have two younger brothers and my mom wanted to keep all of us but I was 16 so it was my choice and I chose to move in with him, which infuriated my mom and to this day we st…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 03:22 PM
2

It will be even more devastating financially if OP doesn’t act now.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 01:11 AM
2

This sucks your lawyer was like this. I also had a horrible lawyer, and I’ve never been involved in a lawsuit before (and I can see how others could have this same issue) and I didn’t know what to expect. Does it take a few weeks for a lawyer to get an order out? Is this normal that he ignores my questions? The answer to both is no and if you don’t feel your lawyer has your concerns as his only priority in your case, you should find a different attorney. I also was unsure how to go about this, a…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 11:26 PM
5

This scares me hearing this as I too went through a long period of time that was miserable and only in hindsight did I confirm I had been cheated and gaslighted the entire time. Could never figure out why I just couldn’t make my wife happy, no matter what I did, and it was because she made sure that was the case. Be careful, as I didn’t think she’d ever do that to me.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 10:11 PM
2

My ex left me but it was such a gift! She was an objectively poor wife. But she absolutely helped me move on w her behavior and lack of empathy. There is no regrets about not having a child with her and I’m beyond lucky I have no ties.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 07:11 PM
4

Good luck brother! The kids will see things objectively as they get older, my parents split when I was 16 and I could see right through my mom’s BS. Just keep being a great dad, don’t trash their mom (yes you prob can’t stand her and rightfully so) but it’s still their mom. If she trashes you they will take offense, as they won’t always see you how she does. Crazy how the timing of yours is so much like mine and I’m class of 99.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/25 11:39 PM
2

This is true, I find my hate level lessening. I still very much dislike her, but don’t care about what she’s doing, what her life is like, who she’s with, etc. I don’t think about what she’s doing or anything about her anymore. At first I just couldn’t help myself wanting to know about what happened, etc, checking on her profile, etc, and I haven’t done that in so long and don’t even care. I have her blocked of course but no longer care to even attempt to snoop on her.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/25 11:36 PM
7

It’s not easy but it gets easier. I myself have been up and down, but the more time goes on, it’s been 29 months for me, it gets much easier. Now I would not go back to being married ever. It was like a gift for me as she got pregnant w APs baby before we had one, so now I’m free. Good luck guys!
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/25 11:34 PM
1

I wish my wife would have told me as soon as it seems OPs did.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 02:54 AM
1

This sounds exactly like my story, same time frames. I would let her go man, it’s hard to consider but the effort it would take to repair a marriage after she tells you she wants a divorce seems wasted. How could the marriage possibly be repairable? By the time she’s flat out asked for divorce, she’s been considering it most likely years prior to. It’s made out of glass and once it’s busted it really can never be put back. Another thing is, during the time she’s considering this, every little th…
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 02:53 AM
1

Yes I agree w this. I’m just looking at the worst case scenario it’s not likely they make OP sell his truck unless that is literally the only asset they have and they have a bunch of debt. But if you have $4500 to your name, I wouldn’t go blow it all on an attorney who’s going to just take that money to do your paperwork essentially. If OP goes pro se they will not make him pay her attorney fees no matter what, and if his STBX is planning on draining their accounts w an extended court battle OP …
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/25 10:16 PM
2

I would never usually recommend this but this case seems so clean cut that I don’t know what the attorney is going to do for you. You don’t have any custody issues, she won’t get everything period. If you have $25k equity in the truck, if you give her everything else, is that $25k minus debt too, if you have $10k in debt, that’s only $15k, you’re going to owe her $5k, in which case I suggest you explain this to your wife, and get her to agree to a no contest divorce. Attorney fees will be wastef…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/25 07:15 PM
1

Ok it all depends on her. If it’s straight forward and you don’t have much to lose, you say you want to keep your truck and that’s it? You have no other property? Did she work at all? I would suggest you save your $4500 as there’s no way she’s going to get everything. The worst case scenario even if you ignored the entire case (DO NOT RECOMMEND) but if you pretended this didn’t exist right now and the judge didn’t find you in contempt (very unlikely if you just ignore it, just for arguments sake…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/25 07:12 PM
20

Dude my ex is the same exact way! She cheated on me w a guy 12 years younger than I am and they got pregnant. She somehow flipped the entire narrative inside her head to make it my fault our marriage ended, as if I forced her to go out and find a fuck buddy and get knocked up. I thank god every chance I get that we never had a child, it’s impossible for me to get in a bad mood as I just think what if I had to share a child with her. She was taking advantage of me for a while, I’m a very high ach…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/25 05:01 PM
0

Hey lawyer how’s it going.. wondering how serious it is to tell white lies in court? I always thought this was supposed to be a totally formal, details count, all is are dotted and ts are crossed and I’ve since found that not to be the case. I know my exs attorney isn’t the best and neither is mine and that’s a good thing considering what’s going on but does this matter to the judge at all? Is this one of those scare you into compliance type things?
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 11:38 PM
3

100% ChatGPT gives out great unbiased advice, that’s the best part, you know it’s not trying to bill you hours.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 11:35 PM
2

Yea the courts really care for tax purposes that no one is being supported by two people. This allows scams. Basically if she’s living w someone who’s paying her bills or help paying them, you have a strong case for termination of alimony. Also, they know this. Your ex is well aware she shouldn’t be doing this, so just file a motion to modify maintenance.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 01:09 AM
1

STBX lying about cohabiting right now and has been for over a year! The man is the father of her child and he’s been misleading, for example she “maintains her own apartment” when asked who she’s lives with.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 01:03 AM
1

They are just insane! I think it’s absolutely hilarious how they expect us to be fair after cheating/gas lighting/ lying.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 06:22 PM
2

She already has another man.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 06:20 PM
2

I’m reading your post like what? I have no fault in the divorce other than being married, so I’m sure by default the court would consider me to be at fault. Like a car accident, even if it was not your fault at all, just because you were driving that puts fault on you. She cheated on me, gaslighted me during this time (I had very strong suspicions, I saw a bunch of sexy underwear I’d never seen before in the dryer one day. I confronted her about this (if I haven’t seen this before, who are you w…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 02:57 PM
3

I truly feel there needs to be a change of law regarding maintenance and children. In a short term marriage without children maintenance needs to be capped by law. It is completely unfair I had my own home over 15 years prior to marriage, and married a woman for 6 years, we didn’t have any children. She grossed a total of $28k in 6 years working, and has already gotten almost double this in temp maintenance. She married me with one possession, the engagement ring I gave her, and is asking for ha…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 02:41 PM
3

What my STBX did to me should absolutely not be legal. If this was anything other than a marriage, I’d be able to sue her for so many damages. But because it’s family court, she broke a contract and is getting rewarded extensively for it. There is zero consequences for her and she’s only been financially rewarded for everything. This has completely damaged my business, caused untold pain and suffering, she’s unjustly enriched herself, lied in court, withheld information, also damaged my mental h…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 02:33 PM
14

This guy was never a friend my man.. Also this shows you’re a good person, she’s a piece of trash. She stabbed you in the back, so did your “friend”. You’ll come out of this much better than she will. Just keep your head up, concentrate on being a good dad, and take care of yourself. You’ll be surprised at what other people will think of this narrative. The one that moves on right away (most likely before) the end of the marriage will be looked down upon. I’m sure she’s got in your head right no…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 01:45 AM
10

Dude this exact same thing happened to me! My wife started dating her AP less than 2 weeks after she told me she wanted a divorce, and was pregnant within 6 months. We were together over 10 years and married over 6 and I had wanted to start a family the entire time. Anyways during the whole thing I’ve been so depressed that she would commit to this guy (12 years younger than me) more fully than she ever committed to me after only 6 months! What you have to understand is, she’s been dating this g…
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/25 03:51 PM
4

Yes, file by the rules and also you can anonymously report her for tax fraud and it will get investigated…. Just saying, not saying you should
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/25 01:29 AM
3

This shouldn’t be your last post here. You have nothing to be embarrassed about, this happens to around 1 out of every 2 marriages. You need to get legal support for one, that’s crucial with children involved; don’t leave the house unless you have an agreement or it will be seen as abandonment. Take a deep breath, you’ll be fine!!!! Download ChatGPT RIGHT NOW and ask it any question you want judgment free and do research! You cannot get this wrong, you can’t make a mistake! Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 04:09 PM
1

Oh, I read as if you’ve only had sex 5-6 times I’m sorry
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 01:16 AM
1

Oh no I couldn’t care less about this woman. It’s been like 28 months since I’ve seen her outside of a courtroom. She is nothing to me but a pest I need to beat in this baseless lawsuit. After the divorce I’m going to be buying a different house and moving as I’ve lived here for 24 years, the entire length of our marriage start to finish. If I could have, I would have already sold it. I have a dog to keep me company. I picked up my own puppy after she took ours without letting me say goodbye. My…
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 12:45 AM
3

This is sad my bro…. I’ll tell you what I see as fair… If your CPAP bothers her from being able to fall asleep, then I understand why she would want to sleep in a different bedroom. That being said, if she loved you, this would have zero affect on your sex life. No one has sex while they’re asleep, not legally anyways, and at min she could crawl into her bed after you guys do whatever it is you like to do after sex. And although this sucks, it’s NOT a big deal or not any reason why you wouldn’t …
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 12:37 AM
1

Thank you! I’m actually finally starting to come around. I’m a very successful person, started my own business almost exactly 14 years ago and it’s incredibly successful by any objective standard, it’s actually unbelievable what we’ve been able to do the past few years. She left me at the end of 2022, but I was completely shocked. We got married after dating 5 years when she was 30 and I was 35, w the intention of starting a family. I noticed in the vocational report that she admitted she quit w…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 09:29 PM
2

I’m just in the middle of a divorce case that’s going to trial because she has nothing to lose. She never contributed $1 to the marriage, wasn’t “gainfully employed” for 4 years out of the 6 we were married, the other two she was already cheating on me in hindsight. She’s a “bartender” works 10 hours a week maybe. On her FDS she claimed less than $1200/month in income, for a 38 year old woman in good health. I always wanted to have a kid, and she controlled sex to make sure we didn’t, and admitt…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 07:03 PM
0

My ex told court she was “afraid I would come to her house” if I knew her address. So the states went through all this hassle to redact her address on everything, and also bias the court against me as how can I prove she’s not scared? She absolutely wasn’t, I’ve never laid a finger on her, there was never any abuse and I can prove she wasn’t afraid as I have texts from her asking me to help her w stuff after she left. Anyways, found out months later she was pregnant and cohabitating. I didn’t ca…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 06:42 PM
22

What sucks is women get the benefit of the doubt no matter what. If a woman comes in saying my husband is abusive and I want all custody… the man has to prove she’s wrong or she’ll get what she asks for… a man comes in and says that, he’ll have to prove she’s a total POS, she won’t have to prove anything, unless the husband can prove beyond all reasonable double that the mother is a piece of total trash and a total threat, she’s getting at least 50/50… men have to fight for 50/50. It’s absurd.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 08:25 AM
8

Exactly!
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 04:57 AM
2

I have proof… it just hasn’t been presented yet, well the eval was before she knew… she has taken steps to keep it private (paternity case). Father is paying support, it’s private.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 04:52 AM
3

Her man is flip flopping conversely with you.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 03:42 AM
3

1000% she’s cheating.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 02:05 AM
1

Thanks for clarifying!
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 12:40 AM
0

I don’t mean anything against you, it just doesn’t sound believable.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 12:36 AM
2

I don’t know if I believe that story, it sounds fake. Sounds like it’s meant to scare people into compliance and the order doesn’t sound realistic at all. I could see him ordered to pay half but the entire amount? That doesn’t sound reasonable.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 12:28 AM
1

When you say officially divorced, do you mean officially filed?
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 12:25 AM
1

No it’s not. I’ve already talked to another attorney. He’s only billing me for the time he worked on the case and the new guy is picking up where he left off.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/25 04:03 AM
11

The reason they do this is because unless you were a genuinely shitty person, objectively shitty husband, most of the people she knows are prob used to her talking about how good of a guy you are (this switch blips quick!).. in order to justify her decision, reassure herself she’s doing the right thing, placate her anxiety over her choice, and also convince others she was right. It’s much easier to leave someone that you were committed to and that didn’t break that commitment if they are the bad…
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/25 03:02 PM
2

I did this too, picked up a dog and it’s really helped me with having something to do and take care of. I also would like to say I disagree with you that men get over divorce quick if they don’t have kids. I always planned on a family and her leaving basically ended that for me; it’s not something that’s easy, I would say it’s just as hard without kids. While I’m not trying to downplay the pain it must be to lose time w your children, it’s not any easier if you don’t have kids.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/25 01:50 PM
2

For sure, everything changes when they go visit that attorney. Mine came out of there thinking she had a winning lottery ticket, and it was just a matter of time before she cashes it in. Never was impressed by anything I did before the divorce, now she tells everyone how rich I am.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/25 03:14 AM
3

I think it’s funny, in my state, WI we are going through this whole thing and my STBX committed a felony on the record, her APs DNA is part of the case because they have a kid together and he had to get tested for paternity, and legally she’s still married to me. It is just so funny listening to APs lawyer trying to threaten me when her client is committing felonious adultery in open court. Too bad they don’t prosecute but I’ll take advantage of this somehow.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/25 01:03 AM
6

It sucks sometimes, still working on it actually. I’m 28 months out. I find that there are times I get intensely pissed off, like today when my ex (we aren’t officially divorced) has her lawyer demanding more maintenance from me… I’m getting totally abused and and it will never be fair. Then I start to think about something else and these moments pass. They get less and less intense, but I don’t think I’ll ever forgive her or ever be the same, I don’t know if I’ll ever be happy. She took my enti…
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/25 01:17 AM
2

Oh I couldn’t care less, but we could have worked it out. I’m 100% over her man, this has been goin on 28 months
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 09:25 PM
2

Boooo what?!
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 09:07 PM
9

100%, I would never ever get married if I knew the actual details.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 09:07 PM
1

It’s her fault, at least some.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 09:06 PM
3

No it’s not, she is insane! Her first offer was $180k. This woman didn’t contribute $1. Also she made it so I cannot have any contact with her and claimed I was abusive which is totally and completely false.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 09:04 PM
1

Yes that’s what I need to do. She’s been cohabitating for at least a year and my attorney has done nothing about it. I didn’t have an attorney during her pregnancy as there was a stay and I chose not to keep paying my attorney to do nothing for a year… when it started back up, I hired another attorney and he’s failed to get any information from her since November. I typed up all the interrogatories myself and sent them to him to forward to her (the only thing he did do was subpoena her for her f…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 08:24 PM
1

We do, it just doesn’t say…. It’s technically fraud, I’ve spoken to a couple attorneys…. She has zero case, I just have such a poor attorney he’s not even participating in the case (he was $25000 so don’t think it’s me cheaping out). Her attorney is cheap and terrible and is giving her horrible advice. She thinks I’m super rich but she never had any idea what I have or don’t have, I just paid for everything during the marriage as I thought we were going to have kids. She reneged on that and had …
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 08:16 PM
1

We don’t have one.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 07:15 PM
1

WI
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 07:05 PM
2

Well I have too nice of a house to claim I don’t have money, and I’m not going to live in a place that I don’t like because of what people think. It is a new thing in my life to have to deny being successful as much a I can, always take Ubers and I don’t wear a Rolex or anything, so I can get away w it for a few dates. Then they see my house and the dynamic usually changes. Also my job title makes it kinda hard so I just say I’m in financial services, it’s not a lie really.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/25 01:24 AM
17

I am a very successful high net worth soon to be divorced man and it’s extremely hard to figure out if a woman is after me or what I have. I would never think about getting remarried, it shocks me after going through a do over there are people out there on their 3rd and 4th marriages. I will never put myself in position to be sued if someone falls out of favor with me.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 11:25 PM
2

Right, yea no shit, I was thinking kids bday for some reason… that’s the only time I’d think of my ex in that situation…. W/o kids it’s just another day.. in hindsight I’m super glad my wife left me, and I no longer have to deal w her bday. It was right after mine which is right in be middle of the holidays (mine is 12/28 hers is 1/8) and now that time of year isn’t so crazy for me. I didn’t even think about it a few weeks ago or whenever, who cares, it’s Jan 8th.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 11:16 PM
2

I don’t understand why you would, unless you had kids together. It’s just a day, you have to consciously think it’s her bday today, it’s not like people are going to be talking about it all day.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 10:50 PM
1

If you choose to do so, that is your business, just know that you won’t really gain anything from this, and you won’t necessarily be helping anyone else but yourself to feel good about yourself. I just think the rewards of this don’t equal the risks, you never know what you’re getting yourself into. What if they had agreed to this, or if AP2s spouse is aware already? It’s not going to hurt your spouse, it’s more likely to push her closer to her AP, as now her APs choices are limited. In my exper…
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 10:46 PM
0

It’s not really my business. I do understand your concern for the health of your spouses APs spouse, however I don’t share it. It’s not my responsibility to save the world and can’t say I’d necessarily want my ex spouses APs significant other to expose her. It would all depend on who it is and how it’s done and I highly doubt that person (let’s just say AP2) will choose the perfect timing and context to make me aware to where it would have done anything positive. Me finding out a few months soon…
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 09:39 PM
4

I was cheated on, and I’d still stay out of it. I would move on as fast as I possibly could, but don’t see any benefit in “blowing up” the others guys life. It will actually be way worse for them, and you’ll also come out looking much better if you just let them destroy themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 05:51 PM
13

Simple, I don’t think about it.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 05:47 PM
1

Come on, you don’t believe this do you? This may be the source of her issue, but it’s certainly not the current issue. She is using this as an excuse as she’s moved on. This makes you look bad and absolves her of any guilt. It was you fault the relationship didn’t work out, not hers (or so she tells herself). You cheated 12 years ago. This is for her own conscience, has nothing to do with you!
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 05:44 PM
8

They totally change, she won’t be the person you married if she’s even thinking about cheating. A lot of women will start exploring sexually, and do things they’d never do w you w a new person. Look, a lot of people, but women in particular, will look at they significant other like a possession, and when you guys were together, you were HER boyfriend/husband, etc. Now if she’s cheating, to her she doesn’t value you like she used to, and eventually she wont look at you as hers, and this will comp…
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 05:42 PM
7

What would you say if your father said this about you? If you’re OK with it, you have your answer.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 02:26 AM
3

Thanks for coming here and sharing! I’m glad things worked out for you!!
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 06:56 PM
3

You need to stand up for yourself. She’s counting on you being that great guy she knows and funding her new life. You need to show her that man is no longer around, he left when his wife did. I totally feel your frustration man! My ex worked part time as a bartender and did more drinking than anything else. After she left, she claimed she made $1250 a month and had $3000 in expenses. $1250/month is min wage at 40 hours a week, but she only works about 10. No children (well none of mine). I hired…
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 04:55 PM
4

This should be the tagline for this subreddit. As a 44/M, it boggles the mind how unfairly men get treated in divorce court. It’s the only place I can think of where being a good successful person will hurt you. The more successful you are, the more it’s gonna hurt. Funny to me how my STBX all of a sudden started talking about how successful I was, and how much money I made. She didn’t give a shit during the marriage, and it sure didn’t impress her. But after she’s with the AP, she’s done nothin…
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 04:46 PM
3

For sure… mine immediately filed for trial, had nothing to lose, and knows the court would never leave her in debt, so she can string this out as long as she wants to. It’s amazing to me what falling out of love does to them, makes them think it’s OK to treat someone who took care of you for years worse than an empty bag of McDonalds.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 07:07 PM
5

You HAVE to look on the bright side when going through this. At first it’s an atomic bomb to your life, ruins your present, your past and your future. In my case the only reason I got married was to start a family, but my ex just partied and never grew up. Then we had a dead bedroom and then she left me for someone 12 years younger than me (proving she was incredibly emotionally and mentally immature). Now whenever I’m going through it, and I still do over 3 years later, (not for her, but I like…
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 05:20 PM
1

I have negotiated a one time fee for everything the lawyer needs to do, I just need to pay for experts. Anything I need my attorney to do for me does not cost me anything more.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 04:57 PM
2

Ha! My ex claimed she owns half my business in her initial filing and she got the name of company totally wrong and misspelled it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 04:55 PM
3

Awesome!!! Congratulations! Mine has exact same attitude. She thinks “I don’t want that debt, that has nothing to do with me! I just want the assets!” “He is being such a jerk, why doesn’t he just pay me and get this over with, it’s only $160k! (She’s never made over $15k in a year and grossed $28k total during our 6 year marriage and I’ve already given her $38k in temp maintenance (no kids). He has millions (false she would have no way of knowing and never paid for anything, no joint accounts),…
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 04:48 PM
1

How long has it been?
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 04:45 PM
14

God you are sooooooo lucky only 4 months for a divorce??? Mine has been dragging on 27 months now, and there’s no way it will finish before 30. No children, 6 year marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 04:43 PM
2

So I talked to my lawyer and they had until the end of the day. I emailed him at around 530 (it’s now 815) and told him I want him to file a MTC tomorrow morning. He’s not very responsive, but I’m not used to these kinds of cases. I have threatened to fire him before when he agreed with OC for me to do a deposition in person in OCs office. I should give context that OC is the worst lawyer in my area. Normally that would be great (for me) in a divorce case but in my case she’s so bad, she put the…
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 02:26 AM
2

Well since today was a court holiday I think she does get an extra day. I know I was allowed one for something like this in another case. Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 02:13 AM
3

This is BS! I too despise men who can live off women/other men and not give it a second thought. In my case, I’ve been paying my ex and her AP $1600 for the last 21 months and she’s been pregnant or had a baby that isn’t mine for 18 of them. This guy is 12 years younger than me. The only reason I married her after living together 5 years at 35 (her 30) was so we could start a family. She spent the first half of our marriage going out using my cards to party and gamble, and the second half of our…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 01:02 AM
1

Very very very carefully my friend!
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 12:49 AM
1

An appraiser was $500. She also hired one, not sure what hers cost. And it’s not that difficult to figure that out, I have the totals on my tax forms. I’ve already paid my lawyer a one time fee ($25,000) to do everything, go all the way to the trial. It doesn’t cost me any more money whatsoever to fight anything, just paying experts. I just had an appraisal done last week. I also hired a guy to evaluate her potential job propspects so we can impute an income out of her. Are you suggesting I shou…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 12:41 AM
2

That’s disgusting! I’ve been through a really nasty divorce when I was a teenager between my parents, they still hate each other and I was used in between them (my mom flat out blamed me, she once kicked me out of her house during dinner because “looked just like my father!” and I was 16, it was a complete shit show. My mother’s entire family black balled my dad from the family and I chose to live with him as I saw what was going on. Kids are smart; I was as smart as a full blown adult when I wa…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 12:35 AM
1

We aren’t divorced yet. She’s asking for a $77k “equilization payment” and 48 months at $1600/month. This for was a 6 year marriage, no children. We were married between 8/12/2016 and she moved out 10/28/2022. I bought the house in 3/2001 jointly owned with my father. I bought my father out in 2003 but it was a handshake deal and there’s no record of it. My father and I are still on the mortgage, the deed, the utilities and the taxes, it’s 50/50, so the most she would be entitled to is 1/2 of 1/…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 12:22 AM
1

Good point.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 12:12 AM
0

No it’s the lie that will help me. I want to impeach her credibility as she’s lying about a lot of other things. In my state, if you are cohabitating w another person and living as married, alimony is terminated automatically (you need to prove and petition the court. Plus they use household income to figure alimony. If they are cohabitating, his income counts as her income. In my case, w them having a child together, there is no plausible deniability. Also, no children that are mine are involve…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 12:11 AM
6

I don’t have a kid, but if I had a son I would teach him exactly what marriage actually means. It’s not a game, it’s not something you do because you’re cool, and the big huge one is I wouldn’t raise my children to think that marriage is the end game and the only way to be happy and successful. I look at myself, and I think sometimes why do I even think I’d be happier living with one woman? I don’t think humans were ever intended on having one life long partner, I mean almost everything in biolo…
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 11:27 PM
2

Super good point with that, and I’m sure she’ll take the day. You’re the first person that’s pointed that out and I 100% agree with you!
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 10:01 PM
1

I’m sorry, I guess my main point is, when they mention the D word, everything you knew about them went out the window. I wanted to stress how big of a deal I made to my spouse how I never ever wanted to get divorced, and I’m aware everyone does that, but I went the extra mile with this due to my past. I wanted to really stress that they are not the same people. The entire time I was with my STBX (before she left) she was well aware of how strongly I felt about divorce, and as soon as she fell ou…
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 08:56 PM
2

Well thing is deposition is scheduled for 2/3. By the time we get a MTC (have no clue if that is the right abbreviation) by the time it gets granted, we won’t have time to go through it all properly. But thank you for your response and this is logically and practically the right answer.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 08:48 PM
2

I come from a family that got in a nasty divorce when I was in HS (worst time for a child to go through IMO) and I’ve always been traumatized by divorce. I’m also realistic about it. When I got married, I lived with my spouse 5 years prior to marrying, and prevented us from starting a family due to some fantasy view I was fed early in life that you get married first. I knew from watching my parents that it was extremely important to communicate and make my wife feel loved, and I also know how da…
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 08:40 PM
1

Not sure, it was advertised right before the election. It was designed so people could shame their friends into registering to vote if they weren’t. I was real careful about breaking any TOS rules as the evidence wouldn’t be admissible. That being said, I am an expert at manipulating search engines, and if you need any help finding something DM me and I’d be glad to help (no charge). I know how to look for things that will hold up.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 06:25 PM
1

Will be a very good day for me!
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 09:03 PM
5

Well she’s lied before in court. I don’t think she’s scared of perjury, I just want her to lose all credibility! She lied about being scared of me. I don’t care about the perjury, just want to impeach her credibility for this case.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 07:32 PM
4

It was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made, by far!
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 07:29 PM
4

I have told all my good friends if I ever consider marriage again, please have my mental health evaluated.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 07:24 PM
1

They rent. The apt is solely in her name. We have no mutual friends and she hasn’t heard from me in over 2 years. I have never talked to anyone who has went and talked to her about it, we don’t have any mutual connections. I’m praying she lies! This is what I’m supposed to be getting tomorrow is her discovery. On her first FDS she claimed she is living alone. When you say she has to disclose in discovery, I’m asking if she is going to lie or not. She CAN lie, and she thinks I have no idea where …
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 07:21 PM
4

It’s a totally crazy case, me having a ton of assets and her having zero, her sole possession coming into the marriage was her engagement ring I bought her.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 07:16 PM
3

Oh it totally matters! I’m paying her $1600 in temp support and she’s asking for an additional 48 months at $1600 for divorce settlement. Could. Not. Care. Less. What she is doing, 100% over her.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 07:14 PM
3

Thank you…. Let’s hope I hit the 30!
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 07:14 PM
2

It does. We have a deposition coming up.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 07:13 PM
3

That’s already happened…. She left me in Oct 2022 for someone 12 years younger after being together for 12 years and married 6. I wanted a family, all she did was drink and party. She was pregnant by May 2023 and I hadn’t seen her since Oct 2022. She didn’t even try saying it was mine, it’s established it’s his. She had the baby in March 2024.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 07:08 PM
8

For me, I always thought I was locked in to her for the rest of my life. I never considered we would ever get divorced, and it was like I was given a gift when she cheated on me! It was unreal, and I’m not taking this for granted. I feel like I’ve been settling my entire life and I was kind of given a get out of jail free card, as we didn’t have any kids, I feel in hindsight like I walked through a battlefield without getting killed.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/25 01:01 AM
1

Decline it!
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/25 12:21 AM
4

No, but no kids involved. As soon as she told me she was leaving, it was over. She was free to do whatever, as was I. She was pregnant within 4 months, and I still haven’t dated anyone over 2 years out. Divorce isn’t finalized yet, trial is scheduled in Feb. I wouldn’t have wanted her to tell me she was dating; in fact I just assumed she was cheating on me and I’m almost 100% sure I was right. If she had called me and said hey I’m going to date a new guy 12 years younger than you, I would have t…
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/24 02:31 AM
2

I am one, not was one. But money doesn’t mean shit, and that’s not what I was getting at. She was set for life is a better thing to say I guess. But yea she left me, that was her choice, she tried to take a bunch of money with because my net worth is so high compared to hers even 10% is a fortune. I’m fighting to get it down to like 1%. Even that is more money than she’d ever have. I am a walking target according to my lawyer and it’s just dumb for me to ever get remarried. I am glad that she le…
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 03:49 PM
13

Oh I know mine was.. left me for a guy 12 years younger than me, I own my own house, business, multi millionaire, all that shit. She had to get an apt w the dude as roommates as neither one can afford it themselves, I owe $25k on a $400k house. But I’m 5 years older than her, she was 37 when she left, do you really think she’s gonna be happy w this 30 year old guy who’s 7 years younger? But she better because she had his baby. Im no longer planning on starting a family; im gonna be 44, I’m going…
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 03:13 AM
5

This is exactly what my ex did to me by the end I was almost ready to blame myself for everything. I made her go out and bang another guy while I “worked too much”. But when they have nothing to lose, they’d rather be the victim and the reason the divorce is happening, so what they’ll do is devalue you and gas light you until you also believe you’re a terrible person. The worst part is when she starts withholding sex, and you’ll find yourself doing everything you can to get her on her good side …
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 12:48 AM
3

Why do you still have that trash?? Will do you no good getting worked up about the past, let it go and throw it out!
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/24 01:14 PM
4

Yes but she blew through all that…. Believe me, she’s a woman, she got way more than she deserved already.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/24 01:12 PM
14

Not a dad, but my ex wife went from living with me, a multi millionaire by the time I was 40, and left me for a man who’s 12 years younger than I am, and they ended up having a baby during our divorce. I just say that as I saw her today in court and he is struggling with life and it’s made her hate me even more because she knows I’ve recently done very very well for myself (bitcoin price). She went from living with me who had plans to buy a 7k sq ft house, to living in a 1500 month apt w her new…
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/24 08:22 AM
4

Most of the list was super cringe… like you’re gonna promise to have an orgasm… keep going.. it’s on the list, keep rubbing until you cum!! Come on bro; this wouldn’t be incredibly embarrassing and demoralizing? For you to even consider this question, the marriage is without a doubt over. It’s just a matter of how long it takes for you guys to realize it. I say the sooner the better as we don’t get this time back, but I’m just a dude on Reddit.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/24 12:01 AM
2

Now if you haven’t already!
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/24 09:23 PM
7

Dude if this list even included 3-4 of those things it’s done.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/24 09:23 PM
16

Sooooo true, at least w me… the first half of them you’re like OK, I know who I am and you can’t say anything to change that, then you start thinking well maybe I am, I don’t want to bust up a marriage over her being a bitch. I couldn’t even go out and have friends she made it so miserable, I just avoided it. Then youre exactly right, you step back and she’s been gaslighting me for years making me think no one likes me and I can’t hang out w anyone except her. Then she leaves and I have no one t…
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/24 06:53 PM
1

Whoah calm down
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/24 02:28 AM
0

Thank you for analyzing another persons profile, we were all so curious. Your judgement of him was so appropriate and we all gained a lot by this. Why stop at him though, could you tell me how I’m feeling?
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/24 02:25 AM
1

I’m also proud of you!
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/24 01:37 AM
4

Many of mine I haven’t told, and they’ll figure it out (for instance friend is a realtor and when looking at my house to sell he could tell I didn’t live w my wife anymore). I’ve only talked about this w really good friends and have kept it totally out of my professional life. Other than wearing a wedding ring, she was never involved w my work so there’s no change. But I’m sure people have noticed I haven’t brought her up in a few years, or I assume they have. If asked, I wouldn’t lie, just isn’…
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/24 01:35 AM
2

I talk (text)to my dad every single day, and always have. If we don’t talk, I will get anxious and so will he. My parents got divorced when I was 16, and I moved out and in w my dad. Ever since then, he’s my best friend. Even during my entire marriage, I would text him all the time, and stil do. Just saying, I don’t think you can use this information to infer anything about your ex other than she and the kids are close.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/24 01:31 AM
1

The audacity is stunning.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/24 01:28 AM
1

Married? And if you’re one, first off congrats, and second I’d love to meet you, I don’t care about distance, can travel anywhere regularly (get why you wouldn’t wanna meet me, as I’m nothing special, there’s thousands of me. But there is not many of you (see what I mean?).
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/24 11:36 PM
8

What a bitch!!!
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/24 12:29 PM
3

Love how women break the rules all the time doing shit like this (stealing from home inventory), it’s like they think it’s OK because they’re a female and they can break the rules every now and then when they want. Such a typical female response.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/24 01:52 AM
3

She is totally financially abusing you as I type this. No it would not help anything. She sounds like a total spoiled brat, who wouldn’t have the maturity to even understand reality as you (and I) see it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/24 01:50 AM
2

I’m trying to take advantage of all this myself. My divorce started out w her telling lies about me, and getting a complete and total hidden address, making it seem as if she’s afraid of me. After that, I’m just not playing things fairly, I’m delaying, trying to bleed her dry, not doing anything I’m ordered to do, until right before I have to, then im making it super difficult. I’m trying to do all the things women typically do to the high earner, but I’m the high earner, I’m just not afraid of …
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/24 01:42 AM
7

Why did you pay it? I’d flee the country before I’d do that.. but I don’t have kids
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/24 01:35 AM
5

I would throw them out, but that’s me.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/24 01:34 AM
9

Hmmmmmm wonder why that is????
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/24 01:33 AM
0

Well not me… there isn’t anyone I can date, not that I’m aware of…. And yea if I did meet someone w more assets, I would prob be scared of them, so would you.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/24 01:09 AM
1

Of course some do, MOST don’t. Argue away, but don’t include any women who have majority of assets from a divorce, and there’s no way you will win this.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/24 11:53 PM
7

It was awful as she was too afraid to communicate, so she just gaslit and destroyed my mental health until she realized that I was actually dedicated to the marriage and took marriage seriously (something like ‘til death do us part?); then she disappeared w the dog and all our possessions overnight.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/24 05:51 AM
8

Ask yourself, because I’m struggling to see anything, what has she ever done for you? I’m asking, what has she done for you, that was actually for you, and not just for HER husband? You get the difference right?
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/24 01:10 AM
-1

Nah, prob not. I wouldn’t buy a ticket as that wouldn’t be a prize to me.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/24 01:01 AM
2

They exist yes, but maybe 1 out of 100,000 or more. Single? Prob 1/500
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 11:47 PM
23

Guarantee someone said something that brought her down to reality. No you cannot get half my assets. After being separated for a couple years and seeing what’s out there in my 40s, I have yet to meet a woman who owns a home or has any significant assets she didn’t get from a divorce. I would be so bold as to say MOST women do not have any significant assets. I have yet to meet one who’s bought any crypto, or made any other serious investments other than what she got from her ex. It’s depressing …
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 09:13 PM
2

Congratulations!!!! Trust me, this is a great thing. If she can throw away those 15 years, what do you think the next 15 would be with her? You’re lucky you don’t have to find out. It’s never ever a bad thing when someone you think you love shows you who they are.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 06:29 PM
3

Ok never ever think anyone will change after marriage. Don’t blame you as I too made the mistake of thinking my ex would grow up and become an adult around the same age I did (she was 5 years younger). As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that you should always assume someone will change but never assume you’ll know how or when.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 12:35 AM
2

Disagree
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 12:19 AM
1

Fascinating! I always knew my wife was close to textbook, but I could have written this myself.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 12:13 AM
6

Verbal abuse is always the best one… he raised his voice at me, so abusive!!
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 12:11 AM
1

So true for me too so I get where you’re coming from completely.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 12:10 AM
6

Why did my wife leave me? Of course, Im a narcissist.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 12:10 AM
1

I think I get where you’re coming from. What I did was let my wife think she won when she actually will never know the degree that she lost. And yes, I’m just as fair as she was to me, leaving me alone while she went out and got pregnant by another man, so that’s just as fair as I will be.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 02:03 AM
5

You can’t rush it. So don’t think you’re gonna wait X amount of time and on day X you’ll wake up and be happy and ready to go. The more you rush it, the more setbacks you’ll have and the longer it’s going to take. I suggest leaning into the pain at first, letting it all out, having a ritual where you clease your life of posesssions that will remind you of her. It’s a process. What I did was at first put everything away. As time goes on, you can go through your things and get organized, and start…
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/24 06:21 PM
3

Thanks chatGPT
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/24 06:04 PM
2

As well as the Walmart home furnishings dept.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/24 06:04 PM
7

I think the more prominent thing is if the friend is single or not. I would like to see this broken out by if the “friend” is single/in a LTR, because to me it’s more toxic just because they’re single. My ex had a super toxic friend who was jealous that my ex was married to a good man who had his life together, because all of her past BFs were abusive, into drugs, took advantage of her, etc. Her friend, who I 100% believe was a total narcissistic sociopath, was incapable of finding a decent man …
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/24 05:58 PM
8

She didn’t have this guy two weeks later, that’s when she was OK w it coming out in public. My ex did the same bullshit to me, I found out months after the fact she was officially in a relationship on her Facebook w another guy 2 weeks to the day after we last slept in the same bed as husband and wife of 6.5 years and we lived together for 11. Two weeks after we last slept in the same bed, she was in a relationship with someone else. But I’m not a fool to think she wasn’t seeing this guy for mon…
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 03:36 AM
6

She’s prob in affair fog man, almost certainly so. This is some strong shit, especially since she’s now getting her way. Whatever the case, it’s not fixable. Let’s say things don’t work out w her AP, and she comes crawling back to you, how will this change anything? This will make things worse as she will respect you even less, resent you and blame you for things not working out w her AP (trust me, she’ll do the mental gymnastics where it’s all your fault and it will be your fault she came crawl…
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 03:31 AM
3

I’m not sure how much your dog poops, but w mine I only have to make a new bucket twice a year. I’m a painting contractor so I have hundreds of them but you can buy one at Home Depot for less than $5. Once you get the cover made, you can save this and this will last years. But if enough air and rain go through the bucket the poop will actually degrade and it takes about 6 months before it will get too full to keep using. Then I just toss this in the garbage and cut holes in a new bucket. You can…
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 07:15 PM
6

Wow lol… the audacity…. I would tell her it’s YOUR yard! Also, does she not see the poop? Her argument doesn’t apply to herself? Also wanted to add, I have a dog and pick up his poop right after he goes. I keep a 5 gallon bucket with holes cut in the bottom so rain drains through, I also cut holes in the cover and used the rubber seal inside the cover to put a plastic screen and this keeps flies and bugs away…. It’s a super easy thing to do once you get in the habit, and you never have to worry …
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 04:57 PM
2

Yea mine too. She would sit at home all day texting me criticism and demanding I come home early, pick her up food, etc. She was either hungover or out drinking almost the entire marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/24 06:50 PM
1

Very similar, did you own the house prior to marriage? I’ve been living alone for almost 2 years, STBX had a baby w the AP, and we’ll be finalizing soon. She’s a horrible person, she didn’t work for years claiming she wanted to have kids and we were supposedly trying. I had the house 15 years prior to marriage and I own it with my father technically. I was in debt at the time of the filing, and have since pulled myself out. I own my own company. She wants half the equity in my home. I am nervous…
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/24 06:48 PM
2

Right! Yea it was just exhausting to never get anything right yet be the only one trying.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 11:21 PM
6

I personally threw mine out of a car window. I’m hoping someday someone will find it and it will make their day, it wasn’t worth much, just a beat up gold band.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 05:49 PM
2

My STBX would treat me like she was my mother at times. She was also the worst back seat driver ever known. Their entire family does the backseat driver thing and it drove me absolutely nuts. There were times when I pulled over and offered for her to drive, and it was still constant. She would always be glancing at. the speedometer. I grew up in a family where you let the driver pay attention and if you don’t trust the driver to get you where you’re going safely you don’t ride with them. As if s…
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 01:15 AM
12

My STBXW would do this thing where she’d demand to go on vacation, which meant I needed to find a hotel, find a place to go, find things to do, buy the tickets, rent the car, pay for the flight after finding everything, take off work, and then entertain her the entire time. She would usually complain about the hotel, something was always wrong, too dirty, bed not perfect, pillows too soft, etc. Then I’d have to take her to eat, take her to whatever event we’re going to, drive the entire time, pa…
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 01:00 AM
3

Man I know what you’re going through, and it’s really hard. I stopped thinking of success as having someone else that’s in a relationship with me, and more about doing and finding things that make me happy. It’s still hard and I still have lonely days, and I know what you feel when you see couples as especially at first you really feel left out. I have way more respect for anyone that’s been through a divorce they didn’t cause. I think it’s one of the hardest things a human has to go through, ev…
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 12:54 AM
2

Stink her out of the place, always works.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 12:41 AM
1

This is because she is looking at things through her own eyes, as all of us can only do, and she sees that if she was in your position she would have been cheating so you must have…. It happened to me too, and if they’re really good at the gaslighting you may convince yourself you crossed a boundary you didn’t. In my case it was a complete and totally fantasy in her mind.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 02:21 AM
1

My STBX has absolutely nothing to lose in the divorce, as if I was awarded everything she’s already won…. She wants “as much as she can get” even though she cheated and had a kid w her AP. I can’t even contact her unless it’s through lawyers. She never has to see me so she doesn’t feel any guilt for being totally unfair. She came into the marriage with nothing, she had an amazing life during the marriage and chose not to work or have children. Now I’m just a lawsuit to her where if she gets $100…
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 02:12 AM
9

Hey man, I’m older than you but your situation sounds familiar with mine.. I’ve been without her now since 11/222, as she has now started a family with the guy she was cheating on me with… I know exactly what you mean regarding the motivation, it takes a long time and there are things I realized I was never interested in again after the separation. I too like you really wanted to be a father. I’m a but older than you, so let me just say you have plenty of time, I didn’t even get married until I …
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 03:29 AM
1

It’s not over yet, but yes… I’m having a record year in business, after having a record year last year, and it’s awesome because discovery is done and I was a couple hundred grand in debt when she filed… owned my business 13 years (5 years before marriage, 1 year before I met her), she left in Nov 22, and last year was my best year ever, and this year we have already done more revenue than we did in any year of my career… no kids, she has since had a child w her AP.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 06:28 PM
2

This is true… they will cover for her and they’ll congratulate her on the new man when things hit the fan. And it does feel like betrayal. At the end of the, these people don’t matter to us. Anyone who would condone cheating is not someone I would want to spend any time or energy on. I’ve heard it before, but you’ll know who your true friends are when you’re going through a divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 05:11 PM
3

This is a really good tell for a divorce lurking, when she treats you like shit in public…. It’s a really good point… my STBX always treated me really good in public, and then after things opened up after Covid, I went and visited her at work, and she was treating complete strangers much better than me… when you catch her doing this, it’s a very good tell that a divorce is on the horizon. I was shocked at the time, and I’m still hurt (not really but a part of me will always be) how she could lit…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 05:08 PM
1

I plan to, for sure… as soon as I can… and $5k would be amazing, but shit if she only gets $30 out of me it’s a win
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 02:12 AM
1

Should be a crime to falsely report DV but it’s not, so what do they have to lose? It’s total BS
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 01:54 AM
1

Amen to this!
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 01:31 AM
2

So true… I haven’t reached out to my STBX in almost a year and I realized the other day I forgot her number! This was amazing as I’m not the type of person to forget things like this, and I feel it’s really helped me to see how much progress I’ve made. At first, I couldn’t even believe things were happening as they were, and every time I got a text I would hope it was from her. Now if she texted me, I wouldn’t even know who it was. Nothing feels better than leaving the past behind and moving on.…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 01:30 AM
3

Hahaha! I was thinking of him reading this… he seems like the kind of guy that would be a Mr Wonderful… Great advice.. Especially about leverage. W my divorce, she moved out due to affair fog, we didn’t have any kids, and the house may be considered separate property, still waiting to find that out, but I owned it over 15 years prior to marriage, never shared finances (never had a joint banking account, she was never on the deed or the mortgage, I have the mortgage and deed in mine and my father…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 01:13 AM
1

I’m already much happier. I’m glad she chose to cheat when she did and didn’t waste any more of my life. I will never fall into this trap again, one and done for me. Marriage is a total scam!
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 12:28 AM
5

Yep, same here. Mine worked like 3 weeks in 3 years. I married her to start a family and when I would ask her to work she would tell me she wouldn’t be trying to have a child if she had to work. She basically sat on her ass for 6 years and is now trying to take half of what I’ve worked my entire adult life for. It’s almost a career choice these women make, marry a man that works hard and has money and take half of his wealth.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 12:26 AM
6

My STBX doesn’t want to share in any debt, just the assets.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 12:22 AM
9

100% agree, you would not believe my situation. I blame myself at the end of the day for being such a poor judge of character. It’s not easy when there are so many sociopaths out there today.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 12:20 AM
3

I know this, but it’s still total bullshit. There is what is legally right and what is morally right, two different things. If it was the other way around I would not be trying to take half the value of someone’s property that I had no moral right to take, no matter the legality, but I am a good person and my STBX is not. I have morals, she does not. I believe karma will take care of this, and it already has in a lot of ways.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 12:20 AM
7

I still don’t understand why she thinks she needs to sign a “quit claim” as she’s not even on the deed or the mortgage and couldn’t have possibly contributed towards the mortgage as her gross income was less than $2/day during our marriage. That’s before taxes. She didn’t even make enough to afford a large fry at McDonald’s.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 10:18 PM
5

In my case I could easily prove infidelity, in fact it’s a proven fact in court as she’s pregnant and the paternity test came back to the father as the AP. There is absolutely no doubt.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 10:15 PM
3

What a joke of a person! I hate these people
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 08:04 PM
22

I don’t even have kids and my STBX wants half the equity for a house I’ve owned 15 years prior to marriage, it’s unbelievable. Anyone who thinks they should get a windfall due to a marriage they caused to fail by cheating is just a bad person, nothing else needs to be said.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 08:01 PM
2

Maybe just grey rock the grey rocking and not make it so obvious, in public anyways. In court w the attorneys maybe just give a slight smile and nod would have been better than staring blankly. Obviously I don’t blame you one bit for not engaging her at all in private and not letting her think she’s getting to you, but maybe you’re taking this a little too far where it’s obvious you’re grey rocking actually turns it into something that’s unintentionally offensive. I’m not a psychologist though a…
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 01:56 AM
7

Honestly was just talking to my dad about this earlier. I am happy with everything in my life since I stopped feeling the need to find someone to replace my STBX. When/if it happens, she’ll need to make me happier than I am now, but I’m happy with everything else. I was super depressed until I gave this up (and of course as time passes).
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 11:07 PM
1

Did get a dog, almost a year ago, and I say this now, he’s the love of my life! French Bulldog (had one when I was married for 9 years, took care of him, paid all his bills, fed him breakfast lunch and dinner most nights while my STBX was out at the bar, came home one day after work to let him out and he was gone, haven’t seen him since) named Mooki and I look forward every single day to coming home to him. Was super lonely after wife left, am no longer lonely. Was the best decision of my life!
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 11:02 PM
2

Couldn’t agree more
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 05:33 AM
7

She is doing that to save face… she’s testing you, trying to control the narrative… she was hoping you would have broke down and begged her that you’ll do anything to get her back…if you give in, she will control you from here on out and weaponize her position in the relationship, it’s a horrible way to live
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 01:44 AM
8

Agreed it’s a miserable way to live
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 12:47 AM
14

You need to act like you couldn’t care less if she moves back or not, just keep doing what you’re doing and be good to your kids…. If she at all even thinks you want her back, and you bend over to get her to move back in, she will hold this over you next time she doesn’t get her way or you’re upset about anything…. My STBX did this to me, I wanted her to work on things and every time we got into any argument about anything, didn’t matter how big or small she’d threaten to move out… I can just he…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 12:46 AM
5

You need to get to know yourself… absolutely NO dating for at minimum a year, maybe even 2…. In fact I’d recommend you don’t hang out w any friends for a while and get to know what YOU like to do… get comfortable in your own skin… start hanging out w yourself! You’re never going to become a happy independent individual if you absolutely need another person to validate you. We are ALWAYS alone, no one else is inside your head. You need to be your own best friend. After you can figure this out, yo…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 01:11 AM
2

It’s not really calculated in my state. It’s basically all up to the judge. In my situation, I made a lot more than she did and I paid all the bills. She didn’t have any assets and I had a house and I own a business. She is also pregnant w her AP right now, so chances are she’s not going to get any alimony. She has a really poor lawyer, but when she announced her pregnancy, the divorce was automatically stayed (can’t get divorced while pregnant in my state) so I didn’t get the chance to offer he…
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 07:15 PM
5

Awesome story!
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 03:15 AM
3

My STBX is asking for 48 months of alimony for a 6 year marriage, on top of huge (literally more than a decade of her salary) equalization payment, lmao…. She’s not going to get it, but the gall of even asking… oh no kids
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 03:02 AM
2

Yep shit happens before you even know what’s going on, I didn’t even believe her… but she gaslit the shit out of me our entire marriage
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 03:39 AM
2

They’re pretty much anyone’s options unless you’re in your 20s, or don’t mind sleeping w the kind of women that go home regularly w recently married men.. it should take a lot of effort to sleep w anyone worth sleeping with, at least for me, I have way too much to lose knocking up anyone that it wouldn’t take a lot of effort with, and escorts just are not my thing..
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 01:37 AM
3

It may work for you and hey, I’m not saying you shouldn’t do something that works, but for me, for now, I’m working on myself…. I’m also busy as fuck at work, been killing it, and I’m not at the age (43) where I can go out and get some without putting in more effort than I want to or hiring an escort and both options are not worth it for me at the current time….
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 10:24 PM
7

I think a lot of us do this because we want to be good husbands and keep the peace and it just slowly turns into a nightmare scenario. I too wonder this same thing.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 09:11 PM
2

Ha! This is awesome! My STBX is pregnant w her AP, she’s gonna be a total mess compared to when she was w me and I see her turning into one of those friends moms you knew when you were a kid and wondered how the hell anyone would have sex w that!
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 09:09 PM
5

Funny how quick they move on, most of the time while they are still with you lol
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 09:07 PM
10

Simple…. You stop caring…. Keep yourself busy w what you like to do…. You literally tell yourself she is no longer part of your life, and you hyper focus on yourself and your life. You start giving it 110% at work. You focus on your pets/kids. You find a new hobby that your wife would not let you do, or you would not do when married. You stop thinking about other people (other than your kids/good close friends (the less the better at first), and only yourself. Absolutely NO dating/romance until …
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 09:06 PM
1

Same here… on the Tik Tok all the time, she was convinced our life was boring, even though she didn’t work and I paid for everything… didn’t matter how many vacations or concerts I took her to, if we spent one night at home she would be on FB feeling like she’s missing out… started going out and partying and then not coming home and that was a slippery slope… she finally slipped off, and found out she was cheating, and that’s the end
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 10:11 PM
9

This is a good one… how does she treat her parents? My STBXW treated her family like shit, like they owed her something, and when we first started dating I overlooked this. Thinking back on it, it’s how she treated me once we were married and the day to day life set in, she stated resenting me and treated me as if I was a parent taking care of her.. when I noticed she treated strangers she would never see again better than she treated me, this was eye opening!
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 09:38 PM
3

I hate having dreams about my STBX, this is the only time when I think about her, usually dreams of her wanting to get back together and me having this weird ass feeling that I shouldn’t and that I don’t want to and want to call her out… then I wake up and realize it was a dream… it’s like my subconscious isn’t over her but my conscious wants nothing to do w her… it’s weird…. I usually don’t have nightmares about anything….
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 09:31 PM
1

I don’t care, as soon as she left I file married filing single until after the divorce is finished and you can too.. you will prob pay less if filing married but I refuse to give my ex any of my tax refund (she doesn’t work, or she didn’t while we were married, have no clue what she’s been up to the last year, other than getting pregnant w her AP which is why the divorce is stayed)
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 09:29 PM
6

That’s the oldest trick in the book…. Obviously it sucks and you need to see a doctor, but wow man there’s no possible way she got it from a toilet seat.. I have a friend who has it, and I feel bad for the guy…. But I don’t think it’s the end of your life
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/24 01:20 AM
1

Seriously… this is getting weird! We must have married the same exact woman! Lmao
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/24 09:04 AM
2

Oh man, same exact things… I bought a new Tesla model 3 when they first came out… wanted to take it for a drive… “where?” I don’t know I just got the car want to drive around and have some fun… “that’s weird, you don’t have anywhere to go you’re just gonna drive around?” Ummm yea! Then every 15 mins, when are you coming home??? She would lay around all day then throw in a load of laundry right before I came home from work… “I’ve been doing laundry all day, I’m going grocery shopping tomorrow”. B…
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/24 09:00 AM
1

Man best friends are the worst! My STBX best friend was the most toxic person alive. Her profile pic on her FB still to this day (we’ve been separated for 15 months) is of her and my STBX together and my STBXs hand looks like it’s her BFs hand w a huge ass diamond ring on. When we were married my STBX told me that’s her pic because it looks like my STBXs ring is on her finger. Was totally jealous of my STBX as she had a good man who had his shit together, yet all she did was fight to break us up…
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 05:38 PM
6

How’d you guess that? There were times when she wouldn’t even be home…. If I had to pick one thing that caused the end of our marriage it would be her complaining about me coming home from work… As anyone who’s ever ran their own business knows, it’s a commitment, and I’m not saying I put the business above her, but there were times when I needed to do what needed to be done… I always looked at it like I was doing it for us, and she didn’t care, she thought I was doing it for me, and the battle …
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 08:17 PM
2

I did this not long ago…. Went on a date w someone that I thought was single and found out she was married, walked out and went home…. “My husband hasn’t touched me or said I love you in over a year!” Well then divorce him, I will NOT be that other guy…. Those that will date someone who’s married I have absolutely zero respect for and I respect myself..
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 07:09 PM
7

Oh for sure, 100%…. I was one of those who had to go take care of her…, like I said I run my own business and it’s been over a year since we’ve been separated and I used to look at the clock everyday and always be stressed out as if I didn’t come home immediately at a certain time she’d accuse me of going out w friends or some other BS and a lot of the times I was always behind on my work…. Now I leave when I’m done, period, and it’s so much less stress… half the time I’d get home to her laying …
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 06:49 PM
5

I don’t even think she understood it costs more…. She didn’t even work most our marriage and it would annoy the shit out of me, I’d work full time (own business) sometimes 60 hours a week and come home to her laying on the couch and we didn’t have any food so I’d have to go grocery shopping… it’s just so much easier without her
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 06:16 PM
7

Ha! I lived in our house for 10 years by myself before I met her, she used to remind me to take out the trash every week, as if she didn’t, trash would just pile up sky high and we’d be living in sqaulor…. I remember telling her how did I ever make it here ten years without you?? She took over loading tge dishwasher as anytime I loaded it, I did it wrong, all kinds of little things, got criticized for everything, even tho she moved out of her parents house and into mine…. She used to keep the he…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 04:51 PM
1

Yep, haven’t talked or reached out to my STBX in over a year now, blocked on all SM, she stalks me on FB because I get random friend suggestions from people I don’t know who know her… one of them keeps up w everything I do and I don’t even know this person, I was wondering who she was and I found out she’s one of my STBXs best friend, have no idea how we became friends but I don’t care, I find it funny
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/24 10:16 PM
1

Thank you… it’s actually worse as we had been texting before we met up and she knew a little about my story… I asked her if she was getting a divorce as well and she just kept claiming her husband didn’t love her anymore and didn’t treat her right (but not in those words)… unless she had already been served or served him, I was just as bad as the man that my wife cheated on me with, and I will never ever be that man, I actually felt really bad for texting/meeting up with her in the first place a…
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/24 12:01 AM
4

Marriage is such a disaster, especially if you have a bunch of assets, split your life’s work in two because someone goes and bangs someone else…. It’s insane when you think about it, especially if you’re the one cheated on.. make a bad mistake and pay for it w half your life, and the one cheating gets rewarded for it…. Even if you commit a felony usually you don’t lose half your net worth….
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/24 10:56 PM
2

Honestly there’s nothing wrong w you, it’s HER…. Every single relationship ever loses that spark, only in the movies to people not settle down into what is called life…. There’s nothing you could have done, unless you literally stopped caring, nothing can compete w that feeling of new love…. Mature intelligent people know this, and know that the new love will get old too…. It’s those that are too immature or fucked up mentally that keep hopping around to the next every time the honeymoon phase e…
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/24 12:47 AM
2

She was a bartender (her funny little “job”, she’d come home most days w less than she left with after the drinking and playing the machines, it didn’t matter because I paid for every single thing) and she’d come home drunk when I was getting ready to go to work and not have any answer for where she was and with who, I didn’t have time to argue as I had actual work to do… I know her life sucks now, she can’t go out to eat and she found out the ATM isn’t just a big machine that spits out $1000 wh…
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/24 12:30 AM
2

Oh a year maybe, like I said I’ve never told her this I just don’t dwell on it anymore, she left me, whatever, it’s not going to ruin my life…. What I won’t forgive is ruining the trusting person I used to be, that person is gone and I will forever resent her for it…. She used to invade my privacy, she didn’t trust me at all, even though I never considered cheating on her or doing her wrong in any way, she projected her faults on to me as if I had those same faults too, and the fact I’ll never b…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 02:47 PM
1

7 year itch for me, almost to the month. It’s insane how they just pretend everything is great. It’s sick!
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 03:51 AM
5

10000000% this
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 03:50 AM
5

So right on, how do they do this? It’s borderline insane! I’ve forgiven my STBX (to myself, never to her face) for wanting to leave me/move on/ whatever, but I’ll NEVER forgive her for damaging the trusting nature that I had. I never once invaded her privacy or second guessed her, I have her all the freedom she wanted and respected that she had her own life outside of our marriage, but to totally take advantage of the nice trusting person I was, will never ever be forgiven. She damaged me for li…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 03:47 AM
5

Yep she’s regretting it…. Most of the time they’re too proud to admit it…. I know for a fact my STBX will never ever find a guy like me again and never have it as good as she had it… we lived in a big 4 bedroom house, just the two of us… she had credit and debit cards she could use whenever and for whatever she wanted… no offense whatsoever by this, I have nothing but respect for you guys, but now she’s dating a UPS driver, and I know they make really good money, but not my kind of money, and I …
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 05:49 AM
6

Thanks man, it did throw me off for a second, at first I thought it was a friend request, as I’ve very rarely gotten suggestions, but I really do feel bad for the guy…. On top of that my divorce is stayed as she’s now pregnant w his baby…. I’m sooooo glad I don’t have to be the idiot dealing w that woman while she’s pregnant as she was insane without all the hormones! lol
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 11:54 PM
4

My ex decided to leave me at the perfect time… my company was growing but was in the red, since she’s left and we’ve been officially separated, my income has went up 10X+ and 2023 was the most profitable year in the history of my company…. The temp support I’m paying her was supposed to be 50% of my income and ended up being less than 5% in 2023, and she doesn’t know a thing as discovery is done and over with….
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 11:52 PM
5

I found out my wife had been cheating by getting a “friends suggestion” from some guy I’ve never heard of, and she was in his profile pic…. (Knew she was cheating as they listed their relationship starting while we were together)…. I know the feeling, and that’s not something I wanted to see… think it happened from her stalking me using his profile, as I have no idea why FB would suggest I be friends w some guy that has no common friends w me unless she was using it to stalk me… but everyone is …
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 11:49 PM
3

Good post, I appreciate it!
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/24 09:14 PM
1

This is only the case in community property states so you must have only met men in community property states. This is not always the case even in community property states. You must be a very sheltered individual who doesn’t know much about divorce and that’s OK, not everyone researches divorce laws before they are in a situation where they must. Also, what does this have anything to do with sex, unless you are commenting on how very few men you have met in your lifetime, I don’t see how this i…
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/24 03:48 PM
8

If you don’t have kids she prob won’t be calling you anyways, mine never did
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 12:08 AM
2

Yea my STBXs dad cheated on her mom when she was pregnant w STBX, I do think there’s something that makes them repeat mistakes, looking at it, should have been a red flag and I’ve wondered if that had anything to do w it… she grew up in a family where cheating was an option, her dad normalized it for her, as she knew about this most of her life and her mom just took him back like it was no big deal.. he cheated on her several times..
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 03:22 AM
4

I’m just going off what you told me.. “Her simply not wanting to” No offense, but you need to face reality. No one ever WANTS to get divorced, we accept it’s going to happen but we don’t want it to.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 02:16 AM
3

You can’t though, because she doesn’t want to, hard stop. You can either face reality or live in a fantasy world but it’s not going to happen, period.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 02:05 AM
1

Yea it would be a little bizarre to eat on a table alone, but bars or booths are totally acceptable
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 01:02 AM
2

So I did a little research on this as I was curious. Obviously the law may be different depending on where you live and once again, IANAL. You should make sure you let them know before you turn on the recorder, if you don’t get any objections, turn on recorder and repeat. Then you will be good, and you can do your own research as to ways to mention this without looking like you’re fishing for answers and to keep it as easy as possible for them not go object. Keep it simple and quick, and as long…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 12:35 AM
3

100%… trust me your life will really open up once you get over this insecurity. The whole world is at your hands, plus you can always do what you want be doing. Get to know yourself and what you like, you’ve been missing out your entire life!
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 12:28 AM
1

Me too!
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 12:26 AM
8

Totally your own perception… how many times did you go out w your friends and notice a man by himself bowling or watching a movie? I used to have this fear of going out in public alone, until I realized how common it was, and now I actually enjoy doing things alone… I’ve noticed those that are comfortable with it are also a lot more self confident as well as laid back (I personally really respect anyone that can entertain themselves, and have always found these people usually get invited to hang…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 12:25 AM
2

I completely understand, in my opinion it’s the only reason to get married, the only excuse that works for me… I kind of wish I would have knocked her up before getting engaged so I knew she was at least going to have a shot at delivering… If I do it over again, I think I’m going to make sure she delivers before I pop the question, as it doesn’t bother me anymore that we wouldn’t be married yet
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 05:42 PM
1

lol I read this too, ever find out who slick rick was?
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 05:25 PM
2

Wrap it AND pull out!
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 05:00 PM
1

Same experience here
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 04:59 PM
1

No offense but why? I only got married to have a kid, and when that didn’t work out I don’t see any reason to get legally married.. I hope you mean a LTR, why would you want to invite someone to take half your assets/income?
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 04:57 PM
1

No offense at all, I certainly didn’t take any, but it’s kind of a gross way of putting it… might as well say “filet some fish” or “get up in them guts” lol
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 04:53 PM
5

Yea sometimes so do I, if infers that I’ll never be happy unless and until I’m with someone else… I hate how no one can possibly imagine me being happy unless I’m married to or living w a woman, it almost makes it worse as not only do I need to get over my STBX but I need to meet and date someone else until we get engaged or until they move in, as if I’m a failure until Just the thought of that is so exhausting.. it’s like finally quit drinking and someone tells you, can’t wait until we can go o…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 01:56 PM
6

Yea you might be able to pull this off… I would just real quickly mention that you’ll be recording this for your own benefit, because you want to get the most out of it and you can forget sometimes what your counselor advised… if you don’t make a big deal about it, and just hit record and keep it in your pocket, and get right to it, don’t ask, (I’m not a lawyer by the way) but just mention it; and record you saying this, if they don’t object and you can prove they both knew, I think you’d be goo…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 09:45 AM
3

Good comment, and that’s the right way to think about this… none of us want this to be happening, and we all have to go through it, there is no quick fix for this kind of problem… there’s nothing you can buy or do to make it go away, and it’s very very long… no matter what, it’s going to take a few years to adjust back to normal, and that’s a huge chunk of our adult lives… the average person isn’t an adult until let’s say 20, and most of us I would guess are between 20-50, 2 years is over 5-% of…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 09:30 AM
5

I understand what you’re saying, it’s just uncomfortable for people to say ummm how’s that divorce of yours going, or yea today is gonna suck for you.. I get sick of hearing “you’re better off without her” or “it’s for the best” and especially “you’ll meet someone better” or “there’s other fish in the sea”… understandably it’s uncomfortable and awkward to talk to someone who you know is going through a tough time… it’s just like when you talk to people on the phone in business and they say how a…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 09:24 AM
1

Wow you read my mind!! W way single one except around too much… Funny thing is, 6 year marriage, she’s asking for 4 years of alimony! And she’s already got a year of temp support… my lawyer obviously knows she’s not gonna get it, but we can’t do shit until she has the kid, so we’re waiting to drop the bomb that I’m not gonna support her kid until it turns 5! Oh plus a huge “equilization payment”… it’s honestly hilarious to me! Owned house 10 years before we met.. She’s cohabitating w AP already …
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 03:58 AM
1

Nice commercial! I’m a commercial painting contractor, new construction, mostly multi family… I got lucky, I just by chance live in the #1 market for multi family in the entire country! I specifically targeted multi family when I started my business in 2011 and it’s just been crazy lately
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 11:38 PM
2

They’ll think it’s sexual harassment.. why do you want to know, you trying to hit on me?? Isn’t it funny how they want everything to be equal?
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 09:44 PM
2

Hell yea! You guys have saved my ass many times! Once I locked my keys in my car while it was running, on my bday! (Dec 28th), I’ll never forget that one
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 09:15 PM
2

Yep just say you lost your keys! I admire your job by the way, you guys have some amazing tools!
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 09:11 PM
6

My STBXW had an affair, and is pregnant w APs baby before we are officially divorced.. at first this was hard as I married her so we could have a child, but the more time that goes by, I’m so glad we didn’t… I’m the lucky one; the one that gets to be free…. The AP is stuck w her for life as they have a baby…. And she will cheat on him too, only a matter of time…. If she got bored being w me (not trying to brag but I am very well off, AP is not), she will get bored w him too, just a matter of tim…
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 09:10 PM
3

Wow!! W T F
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 08:52 PM
11

Right! No one would ever say to a mom w kids “so where’s dad?” Don’t blame you for being offended
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 08:52 PM
1

Agreed, def don’t wife them up or move them in..
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 07:23 PM
1

Right!
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 07:22 PM
2

It sounded like it, and that’s why I had a lil beef w dude that was trying to rip you for it, there’s nothing wrong w being a step dad… this is coming from someone who always wanted to be a bio father, and no I’m not dating a single mom but if the opportunity presented itself one day and the bio dad wasn’t in the picture, I would love to be a step dad, or even a foster father… some of these guys think it’s a cardinal sin, but there’s no shame in being a step father, especially if the bio dad isn…
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 07:18 PM
4

Which is why I didn’t appreciate the poster giving him a hard time, it’s a tough time of year to be by yourself, and I don’t like when people are judged and attacked for no reason
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 08:30 AM
1

Fuck yea! I remember your post about going to do this, glad it went well!
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 05:50 AM
5

You being a dick to someone you don’t know, what triggered you boy band? Are you in one or just a fan?
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 05:04 AM
6

Dude chill, how the F you know he’s the AP? What if he’s taking care of the kids that bio dad left?
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 05:01 AM
10

Well congrats for the apartment, that’s a huge accomplishment! You’ll be ok bro, you’re better off without her!
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 04:59 AM
1

Lawyers
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/23 12:51 AM
1

I am just like you OP, first real love, married her at 35 (after 5 years dating, chose not to fall in love on purpose until I found what I really wanted, so the divorce was my first breakup, married 6.5 years)… it’s horrible and I’m still getting over it after a year, still haven’t dated anyone (Ive had a few short term GFs in HS and in my 20s, but never any I would say I totally fell in love with and the breakup never devastated me like divorce… I too have wondered will I ever find anyone again…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 09:25 AM
2

I don’t know how you can stay married w trust broken like that…. Not only have you discussed an open marriage, but you’ve set up counseling about it, so she knows it wouldn’t be the end of the world if she told you the truth, but she chose to lie, and there’s no way you can have an open marriage without extra strong, rock solid trust, or she will use the concept of an open marriage to go husband shopping, and she won’t even feel the slightest bit of guilt about it. The minute she finds a guy who…
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 02:35 PM
3

I’m a contractor, so I mostly employ men, it comes with the territory I guess you could say, and I’m about to join the club lol… We’ve went through a lot of employees so I’ve dealt with a lot of ex wives… most of them don’t say anything but I’ve had a few call me bitchin, thinking I’m going to pay them every week…I’ve had a few employees ask me, and I always tell them I’d much rather have you take care of it yourself. I’ve also had orders where the employee just takes care of it, even though I’v…
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 12:22 AM
3

It’s withheld money from each of their paychecks, weekly, so it’s not my money, it’s just the time it takes is a hassle… our accounting program automatically withholds it each week and I just print one check a month for the amount withheld and send it in to the state system and they distribute it, but each employee requires a seperate check, I can’t just write one check for everyone and I also need to fill out a short form with each check… you times that by 10-12 guys and it’s a lot of work, if …
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 11:25 PM
4

I’m an employer and in my state it’s 100% legal to make one payment a month for each employee that I withhold from… I’ve dealt with a ton of ex wives (not mine, but I will soon have my own) that have bitched me out and I always tell them I pay one check a month and I’m allowed to do that… if I had to pay each guys CS every week, it would take me hours, and there’s no way I’m going to spend a chunk of my work week printing out CS checks, not to mention the postage… talk to your employer because i…
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 11:11 PM
2

Yes we are, I wasn’t being sarcastic
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 08:21 PM
8

She’s gifted him w her presence and allowing him to interact w her holy pussy… to her that’s the best gift any man could get…. RUN OP! These women are brought up to believe they are blessed creatures from god, they’ve had attention from men their entire lives and by allowing you to interact with her is an amazing blessing as she’s a damn near princess… you’re just lucky to be one of thousands of one of thousands to her, you should appreciate you’re being blessed w her royal highness time and att…
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 06:23 AM
3

Family court is the worst, they know they will rarely stir up any trouble no matter what they do in family court, and we’re all just case numbers to them, they don’t look into the background of the case… also whoever they know/like better lawyer wise is almost always going to get their way
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 06:06 AM
3

Yep! What are they having for dinner tonight, where are they golfing Saturday, oh and this women who is attractive to me is going to take this man to the bank because I say so.. in that order
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 06:04 AM
3

They really don’t… they care more about what they’re having for lunch than making a decision that affects the rest of your life… they just want to show up, do what appears fair, use their own biases and judgment and go get something good for lunch… w their coffee thermoses and the sweatpants they’re wearing under their robes they decide who they like better and that’s who usually wins, especially in family court
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 06:02 AM
1

What do you do by the way? I’m guessing some kind of business lawyer or consultant?
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/23 03:52 PM
1

There’s a huge disadvantage to hiring contractors vs employees in some businesses… by law you can’t tell a contractor when they can show up, they have to provide their own equipment (can be a huge liability issue as if they don’t use the correct equipment and hurt themselves your client could sue you, or your clients costumers could sue your client and in turn your client will sue you, you can’t control how they treat your clients, etc.)… my business has a huge advantage over our competitors as …
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/23 03:48 PM
2

Good luck bro!!
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/23 02:14 AM
1

Exactly, you know the deal, I had over $150k in debt when she filed Believe me, I paid all the bills during our 7 year marriage, I’m not getting anything over on her, if all she got in the MSA was my signature, she already won as I’ll never get those 7 years of expenses back… but I sure wasn’t going to let her take me to the bank.. she thought by divorcing me she was going to win the lottery
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/23 01:04 AM
0

You’ll be good to go if you delay your AR, there’s no law when you need to bill, and how much.. just delay your billing, you’re not skirting any taxes as it just goes on to next years return.. w a little creativity you can manipulate your income.. also pay bills early, that’s not against the law either… pay as much of your bills as possible and delay your receivables, no court is going to be looking into that and it’s not illegal at all
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/23 12:58 AM
1

And of course my company pays my cell phone bill… I have an office tho, I own a pretty large company, 40 employees, not a home business… and I don’t buy groceries
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/23 12:41 AM
0

lol you can do that, but I was talking more about deciding when to bill and how much… I’m a contractor so I’m going to get paid my contract amount, if it’s before or after the divorce, well that’s up to me…
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/23 12:40 AM
3

If I were stuck in a situation w lifetime alimony or something like that, I’d be outta here I don’t have kids and don’t condone not paying child support… the best thing to do IMH IANAL opinion would be to get more custody, take the kids more and play her, let her go out w the AP, and actually be a good father that your kids choose to see more than your ex wife
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/23 11:00 PM
0

I own an S corp, not how it works my friend… but there is a way to get creative w accounting if you’re the sole owner I don’t mean creative w the IRS, I mean your spouse
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/23 10:58 PM
1

Messed up that this is the case… it’s almost like squatting, I’ve lived here this long so this is mine now
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/23 10:52 PM
6

I’ve spent whatever I’ve wanted to spend, we never had any joint accounts, I paid for everything, and I mean everything… owned the house we lived in 10 years before we met, owned my own business before we met, she bartended and did whatever the hell she did w her money, I never saw a cent… during discovery, I had to submit over 5,000 financial documents, we asked for any and all receipts, returned checks or any examples of where she spent her money on the marriage and she couldn’t produce 1 docu…
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/23 06:59 AM
1

I know, I really DGAF either, my STBX trashed me to everyone she knows and if they believe her, or take her side, I don’t want anything to do w them.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 08:23 PM
9

It’s the fact that divorce courts are in general so unfair to men that really gets me… in no other walk of life can you break a contract and get rewarded for it… in my case, I should be able to sue her, she broke our vows (contract) caused me real financial damages, and intense pain and suffering, and she’s getting a monetary reward for it… we’re in court and she’s literally using the system to damage me even more financially, because she broke a contract…. I’m def over it, but in every other ar…
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 05:09 AM
8

When I first got separated, I was completely lost, as divorce was something I never ever thought I’d go through, I didn’t know my ass from a hole in the wall… I wish I would have read some of these posts before I got married, you’re already ahead of the game if you do…. I think most of us never wanted to get divorced, and never thought we’d be here… This is def the most helpful forum on Reddit for me, and it’s not even close!
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 03:47 AM
11

Good post man, and this forum has helped me more than I could ever explain, some days this forum is my social contact for the day, even if I don’t even post anything… this forum is usually one of the first things I check in the morning, I look forward to it every day… I’m tremendously grateful for all the help and it means so much to me when I can help someone else.. we are there for each other and so many of us are going through the exact same things… Thank you for posting this and I wish you t…
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 03:45 AM
1

Is the card in both your names?
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 03:37 AM
6

100%… my STBX had the “wedding of her dreams” all paid for by me, $15k wedding ring, all that shit, bought her a car, paid all her bills, she lived in my big house and had an ATM card that just spit out $1000 whenever she wanted it, and still after all that ended up cheating and in full blown relationship 2 weeks after moving out… I was more of a possession to her, and as soon as a shiny new one came around, she jumped on it like a LB on a fumble…She’ll do the same thing to AP as well… everythin…
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 03:32 AM
3

No problem… I remember your post of looking forward to getting your records, I hope you got most of them back, as that stuff was your hobby! I’m sure she was petty as hell about it, I know mine was… You’ll def feel better after you get that shit out of your life and build up a new one w your own memories attached… Look forward not back, we are the ones that provided that shit in the first place and we will build it back better than it was!
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 02:36 AM
3

My wife took all the furniture, even took our dog I paid for and picked out
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 02:21 AM
8

I know right? I never did get to discuss anything w her, and she took most of the stuff with her, but I wonder to this day what she did w the $2500 wedding dress I bought her (paid for the entire $30k wedding myself as her parents didn’t have any money, I even paid for her dads tux rental)
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 02:20 AM
8

It feels good getting rid of stuff… I had one last thought about what the item meant, and my life now feels cleaner and brighter, as if I laundered my possessions… as you get rid of stuff (it’s a process, as almost everything had some memory of her after being together 11 years), but as you get rid of things, you’ll feel so much better, it’s hard to explain but I def feel much better, it’s as if those items were possessed by her memory
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 02:18 AM
2

It feels so good to cleanse that crap out of your life!
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 02:13 AM
6

100%, couldn’t have said it any better
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 02:12 AM
7

You’re right, that’s why I got rid of it all…. I would be having a good day, then open the cabinet while making dinner and see a bowl we bought when we were together and it would trigger depression, especially at first)… the value of not having anything trigger me is much more valuable than the items value and replacing said item was completely worth it for me
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 02:12 AM
5

I def threw everything away… I looked at everything in my house / office, and if the first thing that came to my mind looking at it was her, or the item had a memory of something we did together attached to it, it went in the garbage… it took me some time to get everything out, (months, we’ve been separated for 13 months, and would be divorced but she got pregnant w her AP so it’s on hold until after she has the baby as you can’t get divorced in my state if you’re pregnant) but it feels so much …
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 02:08 AM
1

I know what you mean, and I may pursue this, but nothing beats a biological child… I appreciate the understanding, and my point was that it can always be worse, and I’ve found myself admiring those with kids the older I get… would trade money for a family 100 out of 100 times… when I was younger making a lot of money was a lot more important to me, and I’m just starting to realize recently, that without a family and kids to pass it on to, it’s not very important… It’s a weird feeling to be all s…
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 09:32 AM
2

They will not let a single man adopt a child, although it may be an option if I get remarried (really don’t want to do after my experience!)… appreciate the response tho, and it really is a big deal, it’s the only reason I got married (was w my STBX for 12 years)
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 03:56 AM
2

I never ever refer to my moms husband as anything but my moms husband… when I got married, the wedding planner called him my step dad and I got pissed at her for it!
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/23 11:21 PM
3

All you out there w children, be thankful you have them! My entire life I’ve wanted to be a dad… everything that’s ever happened to me, I pictured telling my kid about one day… I got married to my GF of 5 years at 35 (wanted to be financially stable and married before I had kids, she was 30… after trying for years to have kids, covid hit and we decided to wait… then we started having marriage problems, she started going out and drinking all the time, and stopped coming home… last year (I was 42,…
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/23 09:26 PM
1

If she got remarried wouldn’t that be cause for alimony to be terminated? Just wondering
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/23 04:35 PM
1

I agree w your therapist 100%!
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 06:34 PM
1

I love going to the casino alone! I hate going w other people as I want to do my thing. When I used to go w my wife, she would want me to play a machine right next to her the whole time and I hated it. It’s fun meeting up w friends as long as they’ll let me do my own thing!
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 05:03 PM
2

For sure! I totally get this, my wife never had my back either, and it pissed me off big time… I had an ex that totally trashed me to her once, and she didn’t stick up for me, instead of telling my ex to fuck off she got upset at me about what she said, and I told her why wouldn’t you tell her to fuck off, you should have my back, not taking what she said as the truth, she’s trashing your husband! So I totally understand where you’re coming from!
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 04:39 AM
4

I like being alone, I like being able to do anything at anytime and not having to get my wife’s permission anymore!
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 01:30 AM
8

Ha! My STBX wife not only sought companionship she’s pregnant before our divorce is even final!
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 01:30 AM
5

Absolutely, not looking forward to Xmas this year and usually am…. Prob going to go to the casino by myself and play w the money I’ve saved by her not blowing it all this year…
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 01:29 AM
5

Well said… I would leave OP!
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 01:50 AM
6

Your BIL seems like a real douchebag, I can imagine what kind of guy he is by your description.. my advice, get out now. Things won’t be any better if you have a kid w this person. She doesn’t like your mother, you don’t like her family (understandly so), if you stay you will have to spend a lot more time w these people.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 01:26 AM
4

Damn, anyone that someone thinks would possibly kill a dog is a psychopath, he sounds unhinged… how well does your ex know the guy? If your kids don’t like him (which I think there’s a very good chance), they’ll be back sooner than you think; there’s no chance they’ll stay in HI if he’s an asshole! Shocking she would marry the guy after knowing so little about him, the odds this marriage works out are sooooooo freakin low, like one in a million low!
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 04:43 PM
1

Nah, lol, is it the picture? Just a stupid thing they gave me
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 04:35 PM
2

I look back on my old texts and don’t judge myself for them… I might have said some horrible stuff but I was feeling helpless at times to get through to her and that person who said those things wasn’t the real me then and sure isn’t now… take it easy on yourself as when you’re backed into a corner you’ll bite, as all animals do… doesn’t mean you’re a terrible guy, but when you’re being gaslit and manipulated and treated like garbage, you may react as if those things were true, which only reinfo…
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 02:39 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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