How did you actually pull the trigger?

Pleasant-Mechanic-49 · 2025-09-30T07:51:37+00:00

WTF Dont leave the house unless force by the judge or at high risk of false accusation DV

narkj · 2025-09-30T07:15:43+00:00

I was on a date.

jimsmythee · 2025-09-30T01:44:57+00:00

My now exwife and I were in the kitchen. She was bitching at me that everything I was foibg? Wasn’t good enough. She had totaled her two previous cars in the past 6 months in at-fault crashes. She wanted a car. But she refused to work, as being. SAHM was “her job”. She told me I needed to get a second job to pay for her to get a car.

I dropped the sponge and told her. “I have given up. I don’t want to be financially responsible for you and your disasters anymore.” She asked me if I wanted to divorce and I said “yes”.

UnimportantOutcome67 · 2025-09-29T22:51:01+00:00

We were out for a walk trying to "sort things out". She mentioned an alternative living situation, ie: she moving out for "a few months".

While we were out walking, my teenagers cracked her phone and grabbed screen shots of her texts to her AP's.

We get back from walk, kids pull me aside and show me the goods.

I let things settle for a day. Play it cool.

She's at work the next day, I text: "maybe we should try a different living arrangement."

She stays at a friends THAT NIGHT and pretty much never came back.

I retained an attorney and filed within the month.

As a narcissist she chronically underestimated me and didn't think I would punch first. A year later she's still playing catch up.

BuddhistChrist · 2025-09-29T17:23:31+00:00

Ex wife had an affair with another married man. While in the middle of marriage counseling it just clicked. I looked at her and said, “I can’t see you as the mother of my children.” After a month after that session we filed for divorce.

Totesmagotes24x7 · 2025-09-29T16:52:51+00:00

STBXW and I had a conversation about where our marriage was going. I thought counseling was working but she felt differently. I finally told her I can't live in limbo and asked her what she wanted. She couldn't say anything the first time so I specifically told her "I don't want a divorce I want to fix this". Her 2nd response to me asking was "I think we want the same thing". I told her "no because I don't want divorce". 3rd time I asked she said "how can we fix this". It was at that point I told her if she can't reciprocate wanting to keep the marriage then I'll do what has to be done.

Fast forward to 4 months after getting served paperwork she's disappearing for hours at night saying "she's going for a drive". Then follows the next day with straight up leaving and getting a hotel for the night. I quickly realized she had been done with us a long time ago but she was too scared or maybe waiting for the right time to file for divorce. I've been getting played for the last year or two and she's been emotionally and physically engaged with someone else. 19 years and somehow I deserve this.

soontobesolo · 2025-09-29T16:30:18+00:00

Good preparation is the secret.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/

For me, I had cameras running all over the house for quite a while (for the kids, right?!) so she was used to them. And I didn't worry.

So I just had her served with papers at home, and I wasn't there. She was furious and shocked, but soon understood that I had pretty great reasons for ending things and there was no going back. But she didn't do anything extreme, because her custody would be at stake.

Title	How did you actually pull the trigger?
Author	nomad_nuggz
Upvotes	10
Comments	18
Date	September 29, 2025 4:19 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ntmg32/how_did_you_actually_pull_the_trigger/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-did-you-actually-pull-the-trigger.1563091 https://theredarchive.com/post/1563091

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