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Adventurous_Rain_279 Archive

View 7 posts and 189 comments by Adventurous_Rain_279 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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20

Once sealed in court, you can celebrate ;) Congrats in serving justice ;)
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 06:06 PM
1

Be happy that its over, and no longer done behind your back. Learn the lesson, and accept it Next time, pick the woman better and dont be naive… all of us been there mate There is no sense, in making this more difficult. As well, it could have been way worst
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/25 10:48 PM
2

There is a chance, she already got a consultation with a lawyer. Women are quick, and her anger issues is a sign she is done with you and just hate being around Lets take a worse case scenario So, there is no way you can just retire in this situation. She will take an arm and a leg, and you will both end up with tiny amount of money ( due to legal fees, not having access to money and etc) Play long term Get fired, work on quite a low paid job and if possible font share it with her directly. The …
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/25 09:36 PM
6

We all been there. You start from 0 or negative, and work you way back Unfortunately, we have to pay for our poor woman choice. Thats the said truth. Government is there to collect the debt, from who can or on paper can pay She going to repeat her story. Money will not help her much… So, focus on getting yourself in better spot. Live on minimum, spend less - do hobbies. Man don’t need much In few years, you gonna be back and gonna laugh at that greedy ex. It will be hard , but you will make it a…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 08:40 AM
6

Court hearings are a joke. There is nothing fare or normal there. Who has higher income, gets always screwed. The bigger earning diff, the bigger you get screwed System takes from side that has “something” to be taken. And doesn’t care what they can afford
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 02:20 AM
5

First year after divorce, bit rough. As i had to start from scratch. But, i hope by year 2-3 should be better
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 07:54 PM
2

Consider it as the most valuable investment into your future And, within your lifetime you just have few attempts Hence: 1) Does this person bring enough to the table to change your lifestyle? 2) Is this person willing to commit as much as you or better more into this relationship? 3) Is this person mature? Are you mature? Will this person go for a major longterm downgrade for you? 4) Are you on same page with financial responsibility? Are both of you willing to carry it solely in case of advers…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 04:32 PM
1

Dating someone , after few years. It is a fear of going through same thing that kept me from not even trying Will it work? Is it worth it? Don’t know yet But, all those challenges come back. And unfortunately, without new relationship and working through your fears and traumas - there 100% will ve nothing For sure, there is a risk. But there are merits as well. I went a little bit too fast, all in. Now, learning through it
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 03:01 PM
2

Every one of us, who goes through divorce gets there “old, convenient” world to be destroyed And it takes time, to build a new one Most probably, your relationship sucked, but you as many of us “told” yourself you can fix it and keep trying to fix unfixable Now, you have to realise, that you are responsible adult and need to keep working on yourself And, you gonna find a lot better woman. There is a lot of healing to be done, dont tight yourself worth to her You gonna be just right, even better …
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 08:04 PM
7

You will be happier without her Probably, this might have occurred already for years taking into account such long marriage Accept that this happened, this of all possibilities you can get now. It will be difficult, but better than with a slut on the side pretending being a wife Many of us, with time understand that picking yourself and prio yourself is the only way to survive in relationship. She prio’sed herself. Now, you take care of yourself Life is cruel, woman are emotional and thus unpred…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 02:38 PM
3

Rule 1 : dont be enotional Rule 2 : be short, coincise ans only state facts( which are specified in supplied documents) Rule 3 : Pick 1 thing to prioritise with your lawyer, there will not be time for more. Better win in priorities, and loose in non important things. Rule 4 : Pick your battles. You cant win it all, but make sure you and you lawyer is focused Rule 5 : Check if your lawyer is aware of your prios. That his statements, doesnt have tons of things. Otherwise court will just loose it, …
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 01:18 AM
2

It seems you are carrying all of that on your shoulders. And you feel you deserve all that fan as well, but at the end the only “who” really deserves is staying back Many of us, dont get enough care and validation, for what we do in relationship. Many people take it for granted. Most of woken take it for granted If this is not a first case, i would check with therapist and see what exactly is triggering you. If this is a real problem, or you just being you( nice guy, making everyone happy, excep…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 01:10 AM
2

Yeap. And there seems no way out of this situation, only if she is invested as much in relationship. But, seems like it is impossible to find any ladies that are willing to be invested, loyal, and we willing to live normal life
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 01:52 PM
1

Thanks, but I still feel like i lost 10 years of my finances. Basically, i have nothing solid , just absense of debt She lives with relatives, she has a “basic” job. She likes it, but i dont see much trajectory for fin.growth there, maybe only titles😃
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 12:15 PM
3

The fact they want it more and more is true. And, they also devalue your “investment” in their life style. In beginning it is a “wow” , and later it is just another off many trips. Sex is leaving the chat, attitude on the rise, and communications problems pile up ;) And they push it , that the travelling might fix it. All …smart manipulation🥲🙃
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 12:13 PM
1

I want to travel on your expense:) This is how they should sign it. Or, “i am well travelled” , and behind the scenes 5 ex boyfriends crying with wallet in their hands😂
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 12:10 PM
2

Yeah, it is. Thats how few generations fill the void..
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 11:21 PM
1

Maybe its not worst case scenario, she has excluded you out of the long term misery Many gents here, would suffer for years financiallt, mentally and crazy ass wifes going nuts So, consider yourself lucky In majority cases, clojure would not be there You have to realise, that you got lucky ans value that After few years of financial drain, court proceeding, lawyers, property splits and mexican cartel level drama… i wish she just left Its hard truth mate, but thats life All long term marriage & r…
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/23 07:33 PM
2

Princess syndrome Social media/ attention creeping Delulu / believing in miracles from point 2 Ability to secure man, from way higher in status when young. Think its always be like that.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/23 02:29 PM
2

Might be the case, but he needs to check with lawyer. Though, it will not hurt to do it. Other question, it it can or cant be used ;)
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 02:54 AM
2

In beginning you don’t know enough, and after some years “those” initial emotions are disappearing. And for females less emotions putting a kill switch in front of their face
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 12:29 PM
1

“Rituals” and real feeling two distinct thing. Car was ritual, like a habit. And what she really wants, she does and shows with actions. Lots of us believe words, which are conaidered bounding in mens world. Though, for females only actions are showing the real deal. The words they use, are manipulations
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 12:27 PM
2

Biggest regret was ignoring all red flags, and ignoring my own basic needs As well, ignoring the maturity and responsibility criteria’s i require from others. And, she was not a good person, but hided that with clever manipulation Basically, for her made 1million of excuses. Where for others, and myself i put a bar high Vet, vet and vet your wife. Its is investment,might be heart breaking - but you might get what you need long term
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 12:23 PM
1

Make sure you have a recording of conversation with her, especially good if she mentions that she wants that support “for life”. Ask her, but you are working? And see what happens You basically , will have to prove that she had bad intentions. Lawyer would have some good suggestions on this As you, she as well can’t drop the work randomly before divorce. But of course age can try. Hence very important to research how to prevent such situation, and base alinony on her “working”.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 12:18 PM
2

Dont marry if you dont want to. Women manipulate us into it, and with 100% precision it ends bad Make sure, that this is “the only way you can live firther” Than, you will at least know that this “the one” for you If you loose everything in process, you will have 1 excuse Marriage is contract. Make sure you arrange well the contract , and watch reaction of your future possible wife Most of us went inti marriage with purple glasses, were in love and though it gonna last. And, we though out fiancé…
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 12:12 PM
1

What a cnt. My was also like this. Said i have 0$ at bank account, and she spent 40k before divorce in 3 month…system is broken. Only considering as as atms…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/23 10:53 PM
3

I had no kids (lucky) , but everything else is 1 to 1 including age. She was a master of manipulation, and I tried to make her happy. After some time she cheated Then, she lied ..made accusation and made dirty tricks to deay divorce for 2 years. I was working, and had no money for few years. It was tough…really tough. Health got fucked, got few surgeries ..oh man But, after divorce..all alimonies and etc, I am so happy i am no longer with her. So muuccch piece. She was a “child”, that tried to p…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/23 10:50 PM
0

She can “request” whatever she wants. She just tries to make a dirty move to accuse him of something Cheating is not something she can cash in. It doesnt even matter, if she proves he was cheating So, those things are unrelated to the court/divorce The only case, where it might change a bit if he would be the one getting spousal support from her. He would request it, but live with another person In that case, she might get spousal support dropped. But in no way she can request text messages betw…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/23 10:41 PM
1

You also need to understand and learn, when people lean into your side and when they don’t Clearly, she is not into you. Considering you as an option, better than nothing Don’t spend time on such people. It will always played out the same.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 09:59 AM
2

Its also about perspective. We live this fake life, cause our women go crazy for attention and we need to finance it. When, when we are alone we suddenly understand there is much better and healthy way. Without dying and burning out on job
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 09:53 AM
2

We all been there. Getting a financial reset /rollback At 40, you have work experience, and because you are alone - you dont need to live that fake “inflated” style of life. Getting decent job, living in small place and doing your hobbys will be much better that living with a bitch! 100% Lots of people have so much debt, they gonna pay it for life. And you, just got a reset. You can get back on track in few years Most of us realise, that we as men don’t need much at the end to be in piece with y…
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 09:50 AM
1

Some men take their own lives, as they just have their world fallen apart. Very sad. Guess the guy had as well some mental issues. The court system is fucked up. Sometimes, they make crazy decisions. Hence, people get a metldown and do this kind of things. Not an excuse, but certainly puts people on edge
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 09:41 AM
3

Seems this is true. My divorce was perfect showcase Soc media queen, no money - no honey
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 02:11 PM
1

This would be true, will nulification if her name was not on deed/title Now, even they are not even married - they have both own the house , together with bank. And it is not longer a court, but a bank regulating the payments and ownership. For bank, what is on the deed is the valid thing. Not what state says
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 01:29 AM
1

Logically you think “contributions” are important. They are not. You volunteerly, very immaturely paid for her and for herself. Basically both part of mortage yourself Technically, she paid. As monthly payment was made. It doesnt matter “how”, unfortunately So, if she is on deed - she has rights Crazy? Yes. Unfair? Tripple yes.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 01:26 AM
1

This 100%. Only name on deed matters Married or not, contributed or not, maintained or not If her name is on the deed, she is entitled to half of the profits( if any) , unfortunately Those payments you did..too bad. We all been there, and thats often happens to us “beta heroes” try to commit to someone Ladies never overcommit,but we do. And always get fcked for that Welcome to he club🥲
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 01:21 AM
1

Familiar story! My ex has even arranged a fake rental contract with affair partner. Like she rents a room ;) Bo job,no income, fake rental - and court doesnt evem check neither. Neither wants or have any process to do that So, system gets exploited heavily As well, meanwhile byes designed lv bags 😂with 0 income, 0 balance on bank cards How is she paying rent? Court didnt care ;) They just need to take money away from someone
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 01:16 AM
1

On his amount it would be 2-3k
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 01:13 AM
1

Be prepared, go through all outstanding questions Prioritise the most important ones, session goes fast In your case, financial burden is on you, unfortunately As well, if kids are small - they might not let you keep the house. To keep house u need her approval, she might not give it As well, she might not allow to sell it as well. Cause she can keep it , if its on both names due to kids under 18 Sometimes, it is easier to give away & sell the house and payback what you owe. Cause, she might you…
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 01:06 AM
1

Record conversation of you suggesting slots and her responses. As well, mention that there is 3 items, stored in XYZ room(aka closer;) that she will have unsupervised access to. Or say that you will prepare all her stuff at the entrance & inside boxes she can carry out. If she missed the dates in august. Mention, that she refused to come, ignores court orders
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 12:59 AM
2

Filed a made-up report on my mother to police about brusses, for calling her a gold digger ( he came with her new boyfriend; staying outside the house) When she hurt me, I could live with it. But not tying my parents. As well, when she made up story about her grandparents dead … These crazy women, there is no line for their lies And my stories are not evem that crazy. If you read thia threat for 3rd year, there are some crazies using fake children abuse stories to put their husbands to jail As w…
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 08:52 PM
1

We had to take original price, split assets in 2 lists and split between each other. She was fitting for eqch thing, comming with fake non exosting items and wrong prices Communication with lawyers, costed us probably 3000-5000 each. Which was higher than total price of assets Be smart, better to give her 1-2 extra items and close the furniture list In my case it was no possible, and she used furniture as excuse for visits and making big problems to prolong divorce hearings
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/23 12:46 PM
1

Great points Last one take with caution Rarely any of us can afford a very good attorney As well, their interest in lenghty and pricy process is very high For this reason, do a lot of prep yourself. Read the laws, do some side checking of suggestions Unfortunately, a lot of attorneys are making things worst. And not due to they wanting it, but because this is how the system works They will be dragging their feet, forgetting and having many clients at once. So, better be checking on your attorney…
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 03:13 PM
1

Yeah? And who you are? Some people might have a lot more experience than you got on the topic I am tired of non working women , using men for financial benefits. But here, i dont see that Otherwise, you would hear all the red pill studd from me ;)
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 03:06 PM
1

If her doing what she likes really disturbs you - this is not a right person for you Exit the relationship. Longer u stay - worst the consequences, including financial obligations
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 03:05 PM
-2

You sound like a prick. Go to therapy, and check whats going on Unless you found some cheating or other weird behavior, what you describe is non sense Unfortunately, many woman earns less. Just because they are not very sure in themselves, and not so risky as we guys are As stated before, separate and divorce Your relationship & marriage is done if these are your thoughts. Be brave enough and stop it
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 10:27 AM
1

This doesn’t contradict my point Everyone deserves a fair divorce. Unfortunately, if no prenup - fair separation based on what who brought is not possible. I was a victim of such a decision, and had to carry it It gets better afterwards. You just have to go through it and come to other side There is a lot of things to enjoy, find some hobbies and build a small cozy group of people around you. Dont focus too much on divorce, it will all pass with time
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 10:23 AM
1

Great! Now the time to exit properly But, as others said - she might go crazy and it might go sideways Be prepared, be ready for scenario she finds out Consult with lawyers, and double check it will be possible to do it Great age for retirement, jealous !
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/23 04:08 PM
3

Good position mate. I know, some softer among us would be happy to save her -> until she fcks another 20 dudes. And says , i am not happy again ;( Very fckd up, that she makes life of your daughter even harder. And yours… They are just nuts. They think someone else is responsible for their actions. And so insane, to even try to put it on your. Crazy..crazy..crazzzzzzyyy These women, cant realise what they do. They only prioritise themselves , over their kids and husbands It is such a bullshit th…
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/23 04:03 PM
3

You cant drop income. If you make it work, you need to be fired. Otherwise court will still put that 5500
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 12:26 AM
2

100%. Always like this… nothing creative Making us guilty , and not themselves
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/23 07:17 PM
7

Women doesn’t leave anywhere, without new opportunity lined up. If she acknowledges she got someone - she feels guilty Hence, she does this mental shit constiction to make - you guilty and leave for other man They are all mostly same… with how they approach this.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/23 07:16 PM
0

Mr.Nice guy So nice, that allows here to bang other dudes… If she sleeps with someone else, you are not enough and she is no longer interested in you This was just a first step on road to nowhere for you
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 12:36 PM
1

We as man say “as is” Hard truth We are tired of that emancipated bullshit, and avoiding true formulations We should call things, by their real name. Saying that your own wife is banged by some dude, is brave. It puts you at spot, vulnerable, defeated - but being honest of the situation Their are tons of posts where guys have strong emotion for their partner, and cant say or acknowledge his wife is getting banged. But thats their problem
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 08:52 PM
1

~140k Europe, NL ( me working , she didn’t; her 25 me 30 ) 30k in legal fees 20k in pre-divorce support 20k in post divorce alimony 50k in property 20k in money withdraws by her pre divorce Lived in marriage only 2 years. 2 years, she was able to delay court hearings and get herself extra 2 years of marriage on paper. Complex divorce, over 200+ emails between lawyers. False allegations and etc
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 09:03 AM
3

Exactly. This is their weird behavior And another impossible thing, after it - they trully believe it is all your fault This is some kind of internal coping mechanism. Cause, they repeat it in almost every divorce situation Even if they cheat - they will feel > convert into you cheating. If they asked for divorce > they convert it into you leading and forcing them by all means to divorce. They remove all accountability, to remove their part of guilt Seems, they just skip guilt and convert into r…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/23 11:31 PM
5

You have to take this. If women said she wants a divorce, that is rock solid.She doesnt respect you anymore, which gives her internal “green” light for anything Thata how they are wired As well you mentioned, you have a 3 month old and ahe already on dating apps You have to run from her. She is a mess, there is nothing left there for you Figure out what to do with a kid, and make a tough decision Youve learned early, how some women are. You watching port is normal. We all do it, a lot ( or most …
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/23 11:26 PM
1

Real story is not about blame. It is always two to blame. Explain that you both hurt each other in different way, lost communication. Don’t blame mom indeed. From your message, feels like your ex hurt you badly. And that is fine, its life. Get over it You target is to show maturity and stability and blamelessness. And your daughter will just obese with time, how wrecked is her mother - and how strong/stable your are. She gonna listen mom blaming you, vining all the time. Which we know she will. …
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/23 11:18 PM
2

Recently divorced, 2.5 years separated Monk mode, just barely survived the drama and financial troubles it caused I want to date, but i dont feel that most of girls are same , and i have to show them “something” valuable. But fck boys, has nothing to do and show. It stresses me out , the double standard thing. Having fun all the time, and providing for them with not feedback or return. Feels, like women want everything for you and that is not even enough. But, from their side they dont have to d…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/23 10:32 AM
1

Maybe, just send her a video update once in a while about your life, what you are doing and etc Give her a good overview what has happened in your marriage, the “real” version Maybe she gonna at-least not fully shut down She is a teenager, i think that how she copes with stress. Not to fight with both sides. Just as an escape Don’t push it. But try to remind her, that you are there Maybe not in short time, but in long term she gonna recognize your efforts But it can take years. It seems it is a …
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/23 10:20 AM
2

Nobody said here to get a cheap lawyer Actually to get 2 lawyers One that is very good, whatever budget you have Another one, cheaper and remote ( doesnt mean worst). They oftently are very result oriented Hence most of monkey job, prep and foltering out the emotiona you do with remote lawyer on a budget. Basically prepping all in the right form and filtering out the non important stuff. As well, use him for another angle on situation. Double checking And then you provide you main pitbull lawyer…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/23 10:15 AM
2

Shutting the mouth is hard - emotionality , due to infidelity and sudden shit storm destroying your life for few years; - lies ; whatever you dont object, they demand from you; for example i had cases when she demanded for 3 months triple my net income; And stated that i am hiding something and tried to create different fake stuff to “prove” as facts; then we had to play that shitty act with going back and fourth; court didnt even care; But 100%, the less info your provide - less issue you will …
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/23 10:11 AM
1

It just says that you had a good wife. Responsible, and respecting her own time) Unfortunately, many of us didnt had such partner And we got a hell storm , where it only took me up to 300 emails from my lawyer to object every lie and money demand they come up….
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/23 10:07 AM
1

These things are generic Of course they might not be applied to everyone, everyone has their own extremes But, i wanted to share what I have not done properly , so maybe few people find it handy As well, sometime ago i have found few threads here that helped me. Just want to give some light on other areas, less discussed but very effective Having a freelance attorney as assistant was very helpful. He basically told me what to trade upon, what to focus. How to set the expectations. I wish ive use…
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 02:13 PM
1

“Cheap attorneys” doesnt mean to file online for divorce There are quite experienced lawyers/attorneys working nowadays remotely from asia. They have lots of reviews, and a lot of experience But take fraction of the price Using them , as your assistant. And as first line of support. Reviewing format, list of actions and filteting “emotions” So, before you go for a 200-500 p/h attorney, you are well prepared yourself I definitely agree with: - pick the battles, don’t fight for cheap stuff of even…
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 01:18 PM
1

Have a deal with her. Offer her part of total she gets along the years or tell her, that you : - will fight in court and force her to work - that your health might worsen and you will loose the job; hence in 1-2 years, you might loose all your income and will go to hospital permanently; she will not get her money Offer her good amount, they love money ( which are guaranteed) Otherwise you have options : - pay her fully into retirement - reduce your income after 1-2 years, stop working eventually…
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 12:50 PM
1

It is not bed, if it is controller and not regular But, if she gets high - it is an addiction It is like a time bomb. That you need more and more If you do it over the years, you loose control So , we can blame the weed. But we can blame the person overusing it, and becomming a real addict You loose part of mental control, when you high. So, everyone around you risks you doing some stupid shit
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 12:26 PM
3

If she hasn’t corrected along the years, it will get worst Weed is a drug, it is a serious addiction Do you want to live and trust an addict? Do you want to trust future of your kids to an addict? You tried…where you are now? It wouldn’t change. You risk health, mental state of your family living with her. It is tough, but you have to deal with that. Longer you wait, worst it will be Imagine that one day she gets really emotional, gets on weed too much and drives your kids into some truck. And y…
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 12:22 PM
4

Dont forget, that longer you wait - more alimony she gets. Unless she is equal earner Time and waiting, is a common game. Typically time and drag, plays against high earner As well, divorce can last years. Hence, adding couple month on top. Just file. If you drag, she gonna use the following approaches: - see that you are soft, and say “i still love you, please wait and give us time” - then, ask to go to theraphy All this will be her game to prolong the marriage length and delay divorce Meanwhil…
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 12:17 PM
1

At some point, those millionaires gonna move to their own islands with their own laws and jurisdictions. Not to ever get trapped into such “shit” It should be crazy to even state that 248k is barely enough a months to support kids. First of all, I dont see other woman saying that she actually “disgust” them? That her child support it higher x4 a month is average salary a year. Why dont they fight against such greedy woman? They would not. Cause, every one of them dream of having such piece of a …
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 12:12 PM
1

Unless she is very young, she will either of: - try to get an atm - try to replace her current atm - make her temporary happy - get your all in, cause she has chaos in her life - get a new baby daddy, cause she cant and dont want to support herself; easier to get pregnant and continiue with mew baby daddys There are exeptions. But then you have to be an exeption male, and not an average simp like most of us in here…we want love, care, to care about someone , monogamy. And we never get it, those …
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 05:15 PM
1

Sudden counselling is common trap to keep the marriage. As well, secure longer alimony Count for worst mate, and hope for best Unless she is high earner / earns as much as you, she will not have another option as to drain you Unfortunately, you have to be realistic There kind of divorces can take years, you might want to explain your daughter that she has to start being mature or her boyfriend has to Cause, you just doesnt have option yourseld Have an honest conversation And , have a conversatio…
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 05:06 PM
3

You’ve been through some shit You dont need dating and any new godmother for several years You need to be stable yourself, to give your kids some care Prioritise your state, forget about women. They will never give you a piece. They by default are emotionally unstable. Only small portion of them can controll them, without extra help of medecine or theraphy If you pick someome, make sure they are a mature adult. Dont cade about looks, cause as you see those are oftent bad indicators. Modern women…
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 05:01 PM
4

Dont forget, that we can survive without them. Hence, dont think being married/having exclusive partner is the only option But we feel you, it becomes lonely. As well, we loose trust in our own capabilities. Seems like there is nothing more outthere?! And that world is crazy and unfair. Which it is But, it is a risk managment. Make sure that next time you get into it, you can afford loosing that money. Problem is, that we went full in into those relationships and loose all financial progress. Be…
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 04:50 PM
1

Dont fall for it, this is highly possible a manipulation to take your guard off She already has been to lawyers and knows everything. You not, so she want to keep you unprepares And then, after you relaxed you gonna suddenly see so much weird stuff happening. Which you will not understand We all been there. Unfortunately, once she has been in contact with lawyer -> 90% chances they already reviewed all the best options for her. And have a strategy And these strategies, are horrible for you. Be p…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 10:06 AM
6

She is not your friend. When you gonna start divorcing, you will notice that She will make you guilty of everything She keeps you close, to manipulate you. This is #1 tactic, to get everything possible via emotional attachment. They do that always. And if you dont get it now, you will be in horrible place later.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 09:58 AM
13

It doesnt work like this. Her lawyer could easily put this as asset dissipation, and actually charge you a lot more than you had hided. Unless this has been done for years prior. Or her lawyer is a dumbass. You can’t sell large assets( which is a common asset ) without her notice in a marriage. Especially before divorce process And if you get caught on this, judge gonna be furious about it. And gonna just make worst possible conditions for you So, if anyone reading this fiction text, be cautious…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 09:54 AM
5

What a stupid advice, unless you really neglected the marriage Problem with this approach, is that if you just little bit gave up or have a bad day - she gonna punish you immediately Don’t think you can trick her back. Stuff you described gonna only work if she still loves you, which is 90% not the case at this point Not viable mate, don’t fool yourself You just gonna drag your feet
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/23 10:05 AM
1

Is is commonly stated, that each party is paying for their own lawyer expenses Which, atleadt stupulates to use “lawyers” as last resort Unfortunately, lawyers themselves nowadays learned that dragging and proposing to fight for money - is highly beneficial for them As there is almost no way , you will change lawyer mid way and they can infinitely rack up your bills
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/23 10:16 PM
3

Went exactly through same situation. She actually lost more money fighting to lawyers. As well,as house priced dropper as she dragged that as well. But, she wanted to pursue the money track.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/23 10:13 PM
1

You are lucky that you’ve spotted her cheating A lot of us, find out that after some really weird shit going on. Driving us crazy, not understanding the real situation and trying to make up for them Meanwhile they banged someone Pick up yourself, you deserve better. And live just shown you , that that is a wrong person for you
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/23 06:06 PM
1

Dont let yer manipulate you If you gonna be on someones couch, it would probably not make any difference. Money will be deluted by crazy ass ex. And never gonna be enough Better idea: you invest in yourself, get back on feet financially, become more emotionally stable You gonna show great example for your kids Later, you can buy them what ever they want or invest in their education ( amount you can afford) And, what you can’t deliver financially - cover with your personal time. See them, spend t…
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/23 05:59 PM
2

Just freaking divorce You are not attracted to your wife. You try to escape your everyday reality in video games No normal intimacy You wife, is done What to solve here? You are afraid to be alone. She is afraid to continue living with you. Move on with your lives. Your marriage probably stopped to exist long ago. But, you both ignored it and now… yeah… time to take it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/23 05:54 PM
1

Find a self love path. Take care of yourself, and you will be back on your feet again. And accept it is a long path. As well, this community story about single marriage for life is a bullshit. So, understand finally that there will be more coming and happening for you. But, you have to take it in a responsible manner with “yourself” as priority.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/23 05:49 PM
2

You gonna loose a lot. And be ready for it Thats is just a fact here, as you are higher earner If both names are on everything. She gonna get half of everything and alimony on top. But, main point for you is to wrap up this as soon as possible. And continue to live your life You will be set back for many years, but you have to learn the lesson. Marriage is a biggest financial contract, and you signed it. Now, she probably already has someone else ( just cause you say no cheating; it means 100% s…
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/23 05:47 PM
3

Before, man had a benefit of having wife. We had to work hard to provide, and were ok with that. Women, had her own part of responsibility/ownership Now, spoiled by social media and consumerism , and wanting to show-off - it changed the dynamics fully Hence, we are owning the providing/house/kids …everything. And in return, they just find and fuck other dudes. And then say, they didnt feel good with us. And saying, we did nothing. And, what we see, we work our asses of. And also, try to help eve…
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 11:20 AM
1

Wow. Thats tough. You are financially “unlucky” But, from other side you haven’t wastes yeeeaaars of that shit that might’ve be waiting for you. And divorcing for a decade So , learn your mistakes and never go all in.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/23 06:52 PM
3

Yeap. Scary how this “behavior” is generic for women It should be teached by father, to cut the rope immediately if you hear that bullshit about space
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 03:38 PM
1

Gold. So true. Especially, taking into account how all this “suggesting counselling” ended up. My ex, avoided it cause she was few month fcking another duded So the only “late” one was me, with offering counselling. And i couldn’t take truth
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 03:36 PM
1

My spouse said “yes”. Then 1-2 days before session said no. Then it re-occurrd and re-occures. She sabotaged it. Problem is you need counseling , not her Hence, she will be fully passive or absent She probably already checked out mate. Same story has happenned , for almost every other guy here If she would be interesting to “dig” , she would be first one to suggest this But .. if you .. want to suggest it, it is too late to party Cut the ropes mate.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 03:33 PM
1

If she funds a lawyer, and gives ridiculous numbers - she has no fear that child will be homeless of starving. She knows you are emotionally attached and she will play that She is a adult. Believe it or not, she will find a way to survive without your help;) So, don’t be stupid.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 03:43 PM
1

Feels , women dont do anything longterm without commitment I was thinking.. maybe it is not bad to marry and etc again But then, she needs to have $$$ or property she is willing to put in your name. And sign the preunp contract ,and be ready to review the property ownership every year. As well as marrying in proper state If she has to loose as much as you or more, than it might be worth of risk for your conform. But, exit plan should be agreed and put on paper You basically need to minimise the …
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 11:09 AM
2

This is amazing wrap up of our experience. It deserved to be carved on the plate and be taught by fathers when their sons grow up
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 11:01 AM
1

31, marriage of 4 years ( only half lived together/other half divorce process). Been together 5 years No kids. Divorce has brought up all my insecurities, everything ive delayed and didn’t wanted to look at , back to surface It has been a massive, emotional loss. Then, full numbness. After, getting back to life again Has been a major financial set off for atleast 5-10 years. Which pushes a lot of stress A lot of insecurities revealed. As well, her infidelity just put me in a weird spot. In gener…
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 11:00 AM
13

So true. It just became a laughter. But, we as men has to work on that too. Our viewpoint and “happy wife happy life”, all the simp’n we do has to change - if we want to survive We are kind of later with understanding that society and rules has changed We can’t expect long time marriages nowadays. I suspect, any marriage formed from on now will fail in 90% percents in terms of 20-30 years Cause, we don’t know how to communicate with women, without simping. And women, are delusional in their “rol…
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 01:30 PM
3

Lucky you, you somewhat end up safe But, what if she lost a job just before divorce? Hell yeah. So, you made a good decision to marry someone with career perspective( lesson for us) But, you haven’t really secured yourseld You wife, didnt went after you cause she will looose more. Believe, if that would be other way, you would be crying here …:) Indeed, system is so fucked up Most of women are “kids” that living with them feels like a second job But thats also a problem of “whom” we chosen There…
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 01:23 PM
4

Yeap. But we are not educated enough to protect ourselves. So, unfortunately we are signing up those contracts ourselves Nobody in clear mind should be signing anything without heavy prep and risk managment, from both sides It should be reviewed often, to keep with updated rules. And make sure to avoid massive fin advantage on one of the sides, and work on having a clean and fast exit path for both If your future wife is against this, you are running in a trap yourself But, i wasnt aware about s…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 05:54 PM
1

I hope so)
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 05:40 PM
5

Sorry, but they don’t care. There is no facts to that, because there was no deal :) It can help to point to her intentions, but that is not changing anything. Cause it is a scenario / “possibility”, but not a fact Court only acts on facts were possible.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 05:39 PM
2

Her emptying bank accounts in big sums - you can ask to return half. Dont ever listen to her lawyer You are low earner, you very likely to get spousal support because of salary differences. As well, after you filed for divorce she is not allowed to drop or lower her income ;) So she is kind of locked to that So, make your own research. Collect all the facts, persent them to your lawyer and get a side advice. For example , find a freelance lawyer ( lower rate) to prepare all this info for you. An…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 01:32 PM
2

I’ve been there mate. Be well prepared in divorce, she will try to get every single dime out of you. Dont wait, there is no future. It will only get worse with thise gifts She , doesnt value your time and expects you to gift her bigger and bigger gifts. Which doesn’t even make her happy. You just have to, so she will not be bored Dont entertain this shhit
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 01:22 PM
2

You’ve been a good guy too long. Working 12h a day for her and family is your choice, probably you kind of lagged on connection with reality somewhere doing too much work. And your wife lost her focus on you, and found someone Time to leave mate! She lost her trust , that can never be returned back. You deserve someone better , that will make you happy But, be sure to work on yourself and emotional connection. Cause, it just gonna happen again in new relationship. As you as well fuck’ed up a lot…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 01:15 PM
1

@gattsama thank dude! Pleasant to be here! What a life lesson… important for future survival. Luckly no kids. So, that part probably saved me from a life-time trouble. She would screw up the kids badly, based on her “acting”. And I would loose all connection with them.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 01:10 PM
3

1600 gross, would be 1000-1100 net because of some tax returns. For this reason, that is more of ~24-30k I am getting fined. As well was paying the pre-divorce spousal support for 1y and 3 month, mortgage costs of the house So, i would be paying her approximately 3y and 3 months of alimony. She was living with me 2 years. Half a year before divorce filled and a year on her own somewhere with other dude Definitely a reason to never get married Luckly, no kids! Universe probably saved , otherwise……
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 01:04 PM
1

If you are married, she can support herself why you already agree to give away your rental income and etc? This already sounds bit weird.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/23 12:42 AM
1

Take care mate. No offence, but seems you do a very typical decision loosing yourself in another relationship to forget about your current issues Make sure you know your prio’s and thinj 2 steps ahead Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 10:27 PM
1

Your problem is that you treat yourself as victim Second, you lack decisions Other people, your wife, your lawyer are making decisions. You dont, thats why you have trappes yourself Start fckng owning your life Change lawyer, start divorce Earlier , the better. You dont know how long will be her cancer Collect as much details as you can. She dont expect any moves feom your side. She believes you have no power. Track every visit or favour you do, start collecting bills you have paid. How many tim…
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 10:24 PM
2

Heh! Be careful, it is the big mistake diving into a new relationship without ending. You just make the mess bigger, more complicated to you And you say “emotions” That is probably first “bell” to do a reality check. And that other lady, is just as problematic as you are. Make sure you take care of situation, before its too late ( and u are in deep sht)
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/23 04:58 PM
1

So…you haven’t even divorced then?….. I mean, you are on stage 0 then))
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/23 03:23 PM
1

But you as a guy have issues as well. So, there is a chance it is your attitude and actions end up in result you have. Based on divorce rates for #2, #3 divorce basically most of us don’t end up learning anything ;) And fact that only protection - was not having marriage or not having any long term relationahips
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/23 03:23 PM
1

So, whats the plan now?;)
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/23 04:48 PM
1

How long you are together? Where have you found her? Do you plan to have kids?
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/23 04:47 PM
1

Where could be got those notes? I had no idea it can be this bad , on this side. Divorce has open me the eyes, about all things i did wrong.. and got here to get a new perspective
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/23 04:46 PM
1

Not really. I am coming from a full family, and still see that as the main option. Will not be an easy ride, but will have to find some way to do it
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/23 04:39 PM
0

This is sad mate. I understand for a short time.. but thinking this is a good option long term? But this is not an option for long term
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/23 02:28 PM
1

So much better woman on a sugar daddy site? Mate, this is a bit delusional I see older folks, getting on those sites cause they try to get a short cut. Chicks getting money of ya, and sleeping with hundred of other dudes This is not a better option in any way. Maybe even moving backwards. This has potential to end up hooking up with strippers,prostitutes and gold diggers. You become, who you hang out with.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/23 02:25 PM
1

True.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 10:12 PM
1

I see the bitterness in me and others here The wounds , trauma Want to believe, it gets better. Cause, i dont feel fine blaming just the women. But, i guess thats first reaction that comes automatically now.. I haven’t been real. Thats true And i understand, thats kind of a major problem Some vicious cycle, trying to impress to catch her attention and then not keeping up Though, I fee dangerous finding a girl that dated for a very long time. There is this feeling, that they went through too much…
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 10:10 PM
1

You met them online. But, what is your current situation right now?
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 10:05 PM
2

It will be hard But life has risks at every corner The problem, with this kind of risk is the longer you married with her > the worst it becomes And , legal system made it all to screw men But, it will stop at some point. Court laws will change, or we gonna flew somewhere far where it is much safer to build long term relationship These marriage arrangements can no longer exist in this form. Cause, we gonna create extremely unhealthy situation in society As well, except financial conditions - the…
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 10:04 PM
1

There are few interesting answers But, seems that major trend is to let give up on any serious relationship of any form The only way to let peace in your life We think about harmony, good partner. But seems this no longer exist. Or, chances are generally miserable
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 09:48 PM
0

Thanks for your feedback! Detailed, with examples and shines the light. Of course, I would love to hear more success stories interacting with women. Either this is a wrong place, or none of 40+ men giving feedback didn’t had any long term and success. Hard truth. I was not fully prepared for this. Mating modern women seems to end soon. If this trend continues, i don’t know which results we gonna reach. Seems there is just no other way … letting them live somewhere nearby and not letting touch ou…
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 09:46 PM
1

I feel many of us don’t understand many things(including me). Our parents, have issues themselves. So they rarely touch those topics in details The dynamics and how to handle it, and what they expect is kind of u known minefield for us I will definitely check it!
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 09:37 PM
3

Agree!
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 09:35 PM
1

Thank you for your perspective ! Luckily you have kids. I don’t, so I need to figure something out. But marriage is the last resort. This has been a hell. So, maybe Dutch style arrangement. Living together , kids, no marriage. And finding someone equal. So , if loose - both loose or split fairly. And always keeping a hand on pulse, never letting myself down
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 05:23 PM
2

Nowadays, most of girls are about the lifestyle. But we cant ever keep up with what they want I need to find a farm firl, from some remote area in middle of nowhere. That wants kids, is fine with living low and happy to be in nature ;) Lol
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 03:55 PM
5

Lets leave the marriage out. We already all know it is not worth it What about living/cohabiting with a female? Do you think it is worth it, or still too much chaos and shit poored to be taken this responsibility?
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 03:53 PM
4

But why? Do i want to compete with the Chads that bang most of those girls ? No. Do I stand a big chance? Probably not, atleast to get a good girl there. Probably some, that banged by chads and lovered her expectation and looking for a nice dude So, fck the online dating. That has never worked well for finding a lifetime partner Cause, we are very limited in options. And basically, there girls select at the end. I want to select
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 03:45 PM
6

For sure. Thats the plan for upcoming years
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 03:42 PM
5

I never gonna do that. There is no way to get anythibg worthy there. Gonna be doing it all offline. I am tired of soc med shit, and products of it. There us no sense in online dating, it is dead. Hookups and situanahinships. Girls there have a choice, and we dont. Average dude wouldnt get never a top notch girl
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 03:41 PM
3

Eventually, Philippines women only go for it cause it is benefiting for them. This is not a single case, thats like a whole #1 destination for us guys. Simple, traditional, not requiring much( in beggining) But, would they take you if you had none if the visas , more money with her and trip back to holly grail of capitalist and opportunities? Very doubtful question But, seems it is not a bad option among other destination. Eastern europe women, gonna cut your balls and very heavy on your wallet(…
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 02:28 PM
4

I am not really codependent. I am fine on my own, and would be spending time with myself in upcoming few years. But, i still want to have kids ( 0 ) at some moment in future. And want to have a good partner at some point as well We are all hurt, but living for yourself only is not an option until rest of our lives. So, interested how the ones that exited the matrix are arranging their life now.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 02:23 PM
2

Ahha) Nice one What, with my current life style , I prefer to have a dog in 10 years or so. Now , there are other reaponsivilities Need to take care of myself first
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 02:19 PM
1

The other option is alone, or with a man;) One of the reasons - i want to have kids, and have a female partner You don’t give up if it didn’t work out once or twixe. I dont say i beed it instant. I am returning from hell, with my lessons to be learned I know many things that i didnt do well, and I havent take care of myself. So, ready ti try again in future. I just dont see living next 50 years alone There is as well no simple answer here Most of us, writing on this forume are ones still with th…
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 02:18 PM
5

Problem, women always level up quicker than we do. So once in states, she thinks she is already local ,beauty and entitled to rich american fella :) In no time Where we still think about that cute lady , that we started the trip with. Until we receive a divorce request ;)
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 01:16 PM
1

People want quicks solutions, with results now They isolate themselves, and force into mood “disaster”, “nobody” around And then, they have to hold into So, recommendation is to hang out more with positive people. Prioritise tour health, meantal health , friends Talk, walk Otherwise, any of us would come to that. Because, our mind tricks us oftently. Thats why, people with bad environment hardly succeed to be happy long term. Unless they fully revamp their social circle People and support, make …
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/23 05:39 PM
5

There probably nothing to be left of your salary. Make sure you secure your half of 100k, as she gonna become a big spender and loose the job in 5 mins
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/23 02:45 PM
1

Thats their favorite one. I was unhappy, that why I cheated. They are crazy. You wont believe, but they really believe so. Dont even go to fights with her.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 11:39 PM
3

Every other dude on this forum describes his wife as having mental issues. It seems, we / men are aka “blind”. And your partner , might use the situation to get it all “confirmed” So, make sure you do a “reality” check and just not repeating all this stuff after her I think, you are already tired and broken mentally, if you live through days thinking about divorce Thats life and tough choices. If she doesnt have her mental state rock solid confirmed by doctors - dont tell it to yourself There ar…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 11:37 PM
7

Thats how it is, when they fucked up and want to escape relationship. They dont have a gut or accountability , and oftently already cheated So, they start pushing on you “that you fucked up” Thats how they reason their unhappiness And they feel better Absolute non sense, but thats how every women describe on this forum behaves. Fck up
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/23 11:51 AM
1

No kids, marriage 4 years. 10 years in IT, good position. 1.5 years living at 0 net ( little negative) Due to lawyers, it becomes negative. It has been hard, but i learned to live low As other said, you need to fight a system. No other way Make sure, you invest in following up ( that she works!!). You need to master art of pursuing the “managing risk of divorce” as your career and new investment. Cause, how well you press and keep it up - better you will be . Get few great friends around, sell e…
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/23 03:38 PM
1

First, we stop having sex( once a month/once few month/ almost 0). She started blaming for no attention to her, she was bored( no job, no kids). She started pointing to me being different/ugly, not taking care of myself, fat, nasty. And it went like a spiral. I tried pahycotherapist, she agreed ( and then ran away every time time has come). So never went for joint sessions It felt, she completely checked out. I couldnt believe it and seen no valid reason for such a change And , after half a year…
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/23 03:30 PM
2

Not having lawyer, telling your wife before filling for divorce, being kind -> is a road to the most expensive divorce. Uncontested divorce… is only good if she is benefitting it. If she doesnt, she will try to get what she wants and get a lawyer ti make it air tight for you. Dont forget about alimony, if she doesnt work
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/23 03:15 PM
2

He needs to find someone who succesfully fefended himself in such situation, get that lawyer that has this experience. Collect as much as possible evidence, dont approach the daughter. Ask for physiologicla and paychiatric validation of daughter with 3rd party. What a hell. Hope his words are true. Cause world is cruel, and some people love lying. You never know But, maybe kid was no aware that she will never see his father again and was manipulated by mother. This happens often. But, fck nightm…
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/23 03:13 PM
1

As well, you got her. I think you underestimate yourself or overate her. Its just a looks. So, you got something to secure her. Remember it. We, average men forgot that we got some powers, strength and persistence inside us and secured those hot chicks. So, we are actually quite good But,dont fall for looks. Thats a wrong path of struggling with her “beauty” privilege
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/23 04:03 AM
1

Congrats! Happy to hear one more escaped the fckng matrix) Waiting for my exit…huh Live your life man, enjoy every second, prioritise yourself!
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/23 03:58 AM
7

You gonna be fine mate! But, you have to fight for your happiness Protect your time, yourself at all costs You gonna get it through, as each everyone of us. But, you have to make a decision and action. Otherwise it gets worse. And..financially it will be tough, so start prepping and thinking how u can survive it through , you need a plan. You cant imagine in which minimum you can survive. Worst case scenario, sell everything. Find super cheap appartment( share with someone), until you recover fi…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 11:14 AM
2

You gonna be fine. Enjoy some peace, that you didnt had for a while. Stay away from any relationship for coming 1-2 years. Otherwise, you gonna “fill” the gap with person similar to your ex( repeat the story) This is a signal, you have to accept yourself, learn to be fine on your own We are all learning this, after marriage. It gets lonely, but it passes Go for old or new hobbies, work out , travel. Do something, it will help
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 11:08 AM
1

Lucky you. You were told in ur face that “we are done” So, just take it and move She doesn’t deserve you. If you even try, she probably gonna destroy your life We all been there. Run.. there is nothing to work on there. Cause, she never will.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 11:02 AM
1

Interesting :) But, i guess she has kids..? If she is 40ty. And do you?
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 11:00 AM
1

Nice! And how u figured out they dont love you?
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 10:59 AM
1

Yeah. I am in my 30s, so far from retirement. Though, unfortunately I see same thing. Women been screwed with delusional “lifestyle” Though, i want to have kids at some point But, all this stuff kind of scares the shit out of me That I again gonna be tight to someone, who gonna fall out of love and leave. Just cause the grass is greaner. Really hard to find someone nowadays who is ready to pull a wagon and work through it They “exit” instead of trying to address anything. And , why we as men nee…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 10:58 AM
1

Thats so common. We grieve about our “ideal” person they could be and what we lost
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/22 01:26 PM
1

Don’t go for mediation trap, unless you think she is a kind person. Most do that do prolong the process There are infinite amount of tricks to postpone hearings Make sure you lawyer mentions, that other side is postponing this to bet extra benefits. But… this is how it goes. It takes fckg long time
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/22 01:25 PM
2

Marry the person on same financial level is you. That person should have a clear track record of thing, and no blurry past. Decent work Both parents if possible. Or very good family relation, with a strong man figure/example Make sure that entering and staying in marriage, will not leave you with 0 or negative. Review prenups when buying big property( split and discuss consiously) Make sure this is a person that can be accountable , and can be independent You should have same values Cooking, hyg…
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/22 01:22 PM
1

Yeap. Thats were we see her boundaries, and what she gonna do when everything at stake. And how kind person is. As you see not 100% ladies are like that. Some do it gracefully, and dont destroy the lives of lads. But, that is still kinda hard to understood who fucked up there. Cause if she is kind during divorce, that is a true “diamand” , and she really loved you
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/22 01:12 PM
1

Absolutely. Probably aka hate depends on how divorce goes. Goes some of the ladies, do something that you cant imagine ever. Even from criminals.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/22 01:10 PM
1

NL
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/22 01:09 PM
2

Yeap. Seems unfair. Especially, that we pay for all these things. One would expect to have some kind of service for the money But, we get “bored” people listening to re-occurring casual divorce stories So, they just try to make as fast as they can possibly can What a broken system.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/22 06:01 PM
3

I think half of men been in similar situation They start living with you, find some medical issues, but pursue you not to divorce them And, in my case he banged the guy who suppose to be terminally ill and he was helping the family with their kids. There was no family, no terminal ill guy. Just cheating and taking advantage. As well, trying to “not divorce” to benefit financially In your case, it is long term marriage. But… your story smells, and it seems you are very emotional. But, she definit…
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/22 08:42 AM
1

Heh mate. You can only do what you want, with some money. Got married to a girl that always wants to travel, adventurous. But she was crazy, with a lot of issues and makes a hell during divorce. And now, the wife you describes looks like a very good one So, as many said - it is really hard to find a good woman There is so many crazies out there. They are fun in beginning, then they can ruin your life( temporarily or forever). Alimony, child support, lropety divisions, courts….heh Try to work out…
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 11:20 AM
4

She drive by on someones else car, and it became evident that she cheated. I just cant believe it And she hided that for months, and left marital home It made me fill for divorce
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/22 09:23 PM
1

Your woman doesn’t respect you. I would say this is number one indicator. She will not attempt even to try, whatever happens. Once lost, cant be regained unless she would be in total shitthole( and would like to temporarily return)
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/22 11:13 PM
1

Incentive has disappeared. Sex was weaponized, and is used as manipulation. And we know it. Why would go for this shitty drama, and ending up long term with less and less sex. And endleas emotional drama.Just doesnt make any sense
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/22 11:11 PM
1

I am as well somewhere in this moment of my life. I guess it is normal and we meed some rest, without drama and attachment. Which is way better then diving into another relationship, without taking time and learning the mistakes
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/22 11:07 PM
1

It looks like really hard, especially for soft / average dude. Because, we get fully into happy wife story and forget about ourselves - which kick off her leaving ( sooner or later). Especially , with all attention seeking and social media - it is a disaster. As well, we are not vetting woman and idealise them. We are “saving” them, until we run out of fuel. Probably divorce is not that bad if you prepares. But after looking this thread for a year, I see none of us understood when she gonna leav…
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/22 11:03 PM
2

Heh, too late - dicorcing. Now, I am the point where i went over the face all women are bad. Trying to understand how to level up myself. Will i ever get married again? Not under 50/50 terms, unless my partner is at same financial level and same capabilities Definitely with a pren-up, but even that is not a guarantee For now, will build my new life and get some peace Become a lot better, wiser and learn setting boundaries and prioritise myself Then , there are less chances that some insta model …
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/22 12:15 AM
1

They always tried to drag it. Never get on that path, it means you have to do it asap As now she is ready to get everything out of you. Thats her step 1, to drag and get more out of you
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/22 05:44 PM
1

Ok, point taken I agree that this can be on both sides Historically , it is just happen that we are providers Nowadays roles , expectations, values - everything is fckd up In your case, feels like you got the other side of the coin. We should all be concious about our choices and commitment There are tons of broken people with traumas, and being a nice guy or nice girl doesnt happen to us Young girls are screwed. They are completely out of control, they will never be able to bond with anyone. So…
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/22 07:04 PM
1

Our dads/parents has to teach us. This would have saves so many of us And we brake these rules,and every time it brings so much pain to our brothers. Best summary, that i have read in my life about marriage. You must have went through something to be able to get these all points all together
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/22 09:04 PM
1

Thank you! This is very well formulates and would have saved me from the horrible fake acuses and unfair alimony. We oftenly as man try to save and be provider and marry non equal financially partner. Or , we never reestimate the consequences of this situation changing . Where women, are really wired for “providers”, they in a second know when situation changes. And either bring manipulation, backup plan, backup provider or crazy mode. Where, we are too slow and recognise those changes as well t…
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/22 08:59 PM
1

All say it gets far better. You could get yourself whatever you wanted, enjoy to the fullest and unlock the next level. But, be sure to learn those lessons A lot of us repeat same errors, because of trauma and loneliness that we tend to cover with a new “partners”
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/22 08:49 PM
2

They simply stop appreciating it. It takes us a lot of efforts to put, to get that for them. But, they do none so no real value until they loose it And, mate…every women with a channel flag is a red flag. They tend to find themselves in club or rich babes who only tend to suck the money out of their fellas. And divorce , wanting more and more They are thirsty and never have a limit So, lets stop pouring money all over those girls. It just make them feel too much status, like if they are achievin…
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/22 08:47 PM
1

My ex , signed a rental contract. And said she is not living, but “renting” from the guy. And this contract is in place 6 month before the divorce initiation So good , and bad. My point is why married person suddenly start renting from unmarried “guy” after we just returned from vacation. Though, cost of PL are crazy. And i cant afford it to have more evidences So, depends on common sense of the judge.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/22 09:26 AM
1

Because, we are ready to work on stuff. We look for answers and fixing things in life, work and moving further. For us man, there is nothing other than moving forward. Even with sex, we love the fact women engoing Where, woman are focused around themselves So, they never admit they have to work and fix things, we always get a guilt trip For even average women, there is a row of guys waiting for pssy. For guys, if you dont approach, u can live like a monk Demand, and supply
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 02:26 AM
1

Every single point makes sense Unfortunately, we as guys are being too nice And then we get robbed And only after we understand, that it is critical to be humble and real. To have a responsible partner And every single point you mentioned, is a treat of responsible adult as someone noticed higher You are getting improved Main thing, is that you have to possess those as well, then it is a fair deal Lets upgrade and not downgrade for girls Enough of that shit Girls nowadays are not realistic and c…
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 01:59 AM
2

If women puts you on a guilt trips, that a major factor in every single divorce. Thats how they “prove” to themselves , and make you feel guilty so they wouldnt. Happened to me as well. Be happy that she told you, cause my didnt. And she wa fucking prepares and tool every single out of me Get divorced, and make sure it goes efficiently fast Sell the house If she doesnt seem to go through quick mediation, start one way process Otherwise, she will drain you Unfortunately, i see you are in similar …
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 01:52 AM
1

Same here. Enjoying time i have for myself and what i can invest in my future. As with wrong person, you are chasing their dreams and overcommitting there And nothing really comes from their side We need to learn to love ourselves and prioritise ourselves and our needs As well, never put as in same stupid situation Never compromise , when there are not too many options Enjoy the life and eight person will come And we will feel that thats right person and right care about our common future Fck th…
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/22 06:27 PM
1

I thought my parents are the example They been together over 30 years Though, i hardly believe it is possible in current society People have too much choice, that they no longer value what they got And this levelling up for women, is non ending story So, hardly possible to find a soulmate The only option is that she wants to build something with you extremely and is ready to give up anything Other way around never works And..try to find such a committed women nowadays There is no reason for them…
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/22 12:47 PM
6

Feel you. Still waiting for court to divorce us, leaving apart for 1 year I understood , how delusional and childish i was when thinking and marrying someone My ex exhausted me .. and drained me. And left me for another guy Financially fucked up, like I never been ever in my life and could not even imagine Having a great salary, and living now off credit cards and debt to pay off the lawyers Now I feel same , as others explained higher. It feels like they look at us as a resource, that we are th…
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/22 12:38 PM
1

Amen brother!!!
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/22 12:03 AM
2

Pay for sex. I had 1 year without sex, and was beating up mysefl( that there is something wrong with me) and I do it later One day, after bar i did it and don’t regret it It was such a refreshing feeling and like a checkbox that i am still fine :) Paying alimony now, so cant reallt afford modern dating( i am 30). They expect too much, all the fancy stuff So, Ive reset clocks and it is no longer pressing on me It helped Also after that , i went on my first date. I guess i had an energy boost
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/22 11:59 PM
1

It will go away with time We are idiolizimg our partners too much, amd believe they will change for better But in lots of cases they dont want to If you or me, have warned about unafordable lifestyle eralier and stopped pleasing them-> it would end much faster Meanwhile, we lived in someones dream You need to get used to be living alone and be comfortable with that If you cant, you better go to psycho therapy and check what are you afraid of. You got some fears You have to live for yourself, and…
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/22 11:48 PM
1

A lot more easy to discover, when you are not emotional and looking from a side;) Though, can get more intense. Ive start once asking my friends wife questions, and what she thinks about future and etc Though, crossed a bit the line So, have to be careful :)
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/22 11:27 PM
1

Thats my plan as well. Tried going all in into tinder , so it sucks more than it helps. And you get frustrated, as there is not too much feedback So, for now socialising & concerts & hobbies When healed, maybe then some not longterm relationship
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/22 11:14 PM
1

Being her pleaser. She always had something she “really wants to have , to do” It end up with me doing, only what she wants I forgot about myself completely, and was working through her desires Not caring about myself. I lost myself in that relationship. I ended up in totally unhealthy in all aspects relationship, and as well being cheated. Not doing or buying big things for myself. My wife could ask for expensive trips or expensive bags. Though, i had never had a thing from her ( like only a cu…
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/22 10:51 PM
2

I am thinking to set up some blog on different divorce use cases, and partner with some lawyers Lawyers get shit loads of money… so I want to utilise this a “lesson learned” opportunity I though o was unique. But..eventually all of us are going through same things.. Situations are very similar, harsh reality is the same. Life though me so much since ive initiated a divorce. I wasnt ready, especially for unfairness and how higher earners are being treated. And all these alimony things…lies from s…
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/22 10:14 PM
2

Yeah, triggering me. Somewhat trying to look for red flags in their spouses, especially if they are not working… But, i guess we have to go through this trauma period. But, it gets better So time heals
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/22 10:03 PM
3

Yeah … I am having hard time dating now as well. As the pre-divorce alimony fucking me up badly. Have nothing left, and always think about expenses. So freaking hard to gonon date, without frustration. Taking into account i get a very good salary.Though after mortgage payments, alimony payment, lawyers payment i have minus few grant a month. And you fellas have few kids..I dont. So, I dont know how you are dealing with it You are strong fellas;)
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/22 09:37 PM
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