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AresThePacifist_ Archive

View 17 posts and 268 comments by AresThePacifist_ on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
500

DebateAresThePacifist_/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 03:17 PM
202

DebateAresThePacifist_/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 02:39 PM
150

DebateAresThePacifist_/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 11:52 PM
146

DebateAresThePacifist_/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 03:21 PM
96

DebateAresThePacifist_/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/24 11:28 PM
76

DebateAresThePacifist_/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 03:38 PM
54

DebateAresThePacifist_/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 09:32 PM
50

Question For WomenAresThePacifist_/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 01:28 PM
28

DebateAresThePacifist_/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 01:44 PM
3

Question For WomenAresThePacifist_/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 11:20 AM
0

DebateAresThePacifist_/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/24 09:51 PM
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DebateAresThePacifist_/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 11:57 AM
0

DebateAresThePacifist_/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 02:43 PM
0

DebateAresThePacifist_/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 10:20 AM
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DebateAresThePacifist_/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 11:46 AM
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DebateAresThePacifist_/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 05:15 PM
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Question For WomenAresThePacifist_/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 12:37 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

You didn't have to brag about being a sex-haver
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 10:48 AM
–

That's easy for you to say. You labeled yourself a "promiscuous woman" which I think is quite the privilege you have since you can probably find a partner to sleep with any time. So I don't understand why you said "That's all based of on an assumption that men are desperate and acting this way, and as a woman who looks for hookups i can tell you it's not the reality" early.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 03:56 PM
–

"Beta male" is just a predication used in classifying a group of men would will most likely never get to feel the touch of a women due to lacking any kinds of traits related to what some might call "fuckability". It's more of an observation really.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 03:31 PM
4

What is wrong with women having hedonistic sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 03:28 PM
4

That might be true. That would mean that the power imbalance men face in the dating world will remain eternally in place. Such a shame.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 03:18 PM
–

Well then what is the solution for men who are ugly, introverted (because I assume confidence just means extroverted and somewhat disagreeable) and have anxiety disorders making it hard to socialize? Therapy can only get a person so far and personality traits such as neuroticism and introversion cannot be changed. If in addition you happen to land all the way left of the bell curve of looks there just isn't that much one can do. Then, if on top of all that woman have more power than men in the d…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 03:10 PM
–

Women having hedonistic sex helps men because it shifts the demand curve of women demanding men to the right to increase the dating chances of men. Women being more promiscuous would have that effect and be beneficial for men in the dating world. Restricting women's amount of sex partners should move the demand curve of women demanding men to the left making it harder for men
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 03:00 PM
–

I personally don't care about promiscuity in women. My goal is to come up with a solution that shifts the supply curve of men to the left so that men as a whole have more options in the dating market. If men become more monogamous and women become for promiscuous it would solve the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 02:56 PM
–

I'd have to disagree. I believe it is in my own self interest. If those promiscuous men are taken off the dating market by getting married then unattractive men would have better chances. If you get lots of guys on dating apps who are very attractive and many who are average you'll always go for the better option.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 02:53 PM
–

Women are only find with being celibate because they feel like they have a choice. The moment men because picky and reduce their amount of partners women will feel a lack of control over their dating lives the same way men do and will seek out lower-status men.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 02:38 PM
–

The formula for calculating averages is (sum of observations) / (total number of observations) The average man in your example had (3+0+0)/3 = 1 partner. The average woman had (1+1+1)/3 = 1 partner. Now here it gets interesting: the median man had 0 partners [men's partners 0, 0, 3] whereas the median woman had 1 partner [woman's partners: 1, 1, 1]. So if you take the one guy who slept with three women off the market by enforcing monogamy then he'll only have on partner and the other men might h…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 02:35 PM
–

Sexual desire and sexual market power are different things. If there are less me in the dating market women have a smaller pool to choose from. It's not about how much sex you have but with whom you have it. If high-status men are allow to have lots of sex and relationships with many women then they are taking away dating opportunities from low-status men
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 02:20 PM
–

How is it misandrist trying to design a world in which dating becomes easier for men?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 02:16 PM
6

By attention I don't just men negative behaviors such as harassment or catcalling but any kind of sexual or romantic interest displayed to someone desirable. This includes swiping on someones profile on a dating app, asking someone out or starting a conversation with someone only because you desire them hoping it goes somewhere. And just because someone chooses to be single doesn't mean they are not occasionally going on dates looking for something casual. I think the big difference between sing…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 02:16 PM
–

I think the data shows men on average of more sex then women. It's just that those high-status men get the most sex and relationships because women have so many options to choose from. Create a culture of strict monogamy and those guys get taking off the dating market asap.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 02:03 PM
–

Anyone who helps spread the idea that a man's worth is tied to how many sexual partners he has or that belief that sexual success is a symbol of male status. Think about how many men are out in dating apps just to prove something to themselves. Even gay men who grow up in deeply religious, homophobic environments sometimes forces themselves to be with women to satisfy their culture´s norms and evade punishment in the form of stigma. Additionally there are many cases of high-status men who forgo …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 02:01 PM
1

What about women who can't get pregnant? In that case do they lose there value? What about men who don't want children? Should they still be held to the same standards as those who do? I think the solution should be for men to do more domestic work and caretaking duties rather than hold on to the outdated notion that "real men" are providers and just because a woman can do housework on her own doesn't mean that she doesn't benefit if a man does it for her.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 11:30 AM
–

Yes but I just used the data on reproduction to estimate how many men were in relationships since the argument was that men have it easier now finding a partner than in the past. Just because people aren't having children doesn't mean it's gotten harder for men to find a partner
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 11:10 AM
–

Nothing. That is the argument I am making. The red pill claims feminism is to blame for men not being able to get a girlfriend whereas the data suggests that a lot more men where less likely to reproduce in a patriarchy than in more gender equal societies.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 10:55 AM
–

Sure. Maybe the privileged rich guys of the village who come from wealthy families would have simply been "given" women but they are the small minority of men. As the data suggest most men would not have been awarded a wife despite living in a patriarchy.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 10:54 AM
–

No it was not woman's choice since they were under the control of a select few, powerful men. In patriarchies most power is concentrated in the hands of a few men so many other men are excluded from reproduction. In more developed gender equal societies that is not the case as the data would suggest
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 10:52 AM
–

In order for your statement to be correct you'd have to state the percentage of unmarried men who still got to have intercourse with women by paying for it. Given that most people were peasants who lived in rural areas I'd argue that prostitution wasn't always as accessible or even affordable to most men in addition to the stigma usually attached to men who use that service. While some some unmarried men might have gotten sexual experience that way most probably did not.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 10:46 AM
–

But the argument the red pill makes is that feminism has ruined dating by making it impossible to men to find a partner while the data clearly shows a slow decrease in never reproducing men over time implying that there is no connection between feminism and dating difficulties
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 10:37 AM
1

I always thought women are the ones who select men and men don't really have a say in it and just have to hope that a women selects them
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/25 09:38 AM
2

Hm, that's a good point. Do you think that men should work on controlling their sex-drive?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 07:19 PM
5

I think a guy called Murphy Macken who researches human mating behavior said that money on average makes men more attractive to women which means that guys like me who have trouble making money will never be attractive to women
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 07:04 PM
3

I believe not all species are sexually dimorphic, no?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 06:57 PM
2

How come you're not a feminist? I thought feminism seeks to expand the power of women? Is that not in your interest? And you bring up a good point I hadn't thought off which is that many times men create the conditions that make women more selective for example by using their power to create unsafe environments for women
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 06:55 PM
1

But if you are a woman you are most likely single by choice. That is not the chase for me since women are out of my league and it also applies to other undesirable men. In my limited wisdom I've come to conclude that the solution is to let go of any sexual or romantic desires and focus on other things. It's still frustrating to think that maybe if dating preferences weren't so specifically gendered the way I perceive them to be then I might be sexually desired by someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 06:49 PM
1

Ok well then what do you propose is the solution to the worlds problems? Edit: or at least to the problems of incels? oh, and if competence is tied to IQ then that's also unchangeable
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 03:32 PM
18

But if incomes and wealth are the most important indicators of competence that women look for but capitalism increasingly concentrates wealth in the hands of a few men, then how are all the other men ever going to be attractive to women?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 03:16 PM
3

But then doesn't that imply that there is no solution at all to the dating issue if they comes from evolution? What I was getting at was that gender role within dating standards caused by culture are the primary driver of men acting bad
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 02:52 PM
0

I believe that judgement towards men's behavior is misplaced since it is simply the consequence of gender roles
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 02:45 PM
2

Does this definition of "high value" only describe men or does it also apply to women?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 11:44 AM
–

When you say "weak and unattractive" men what do you mean by weak? Poor? physically weak? Agreeable personality?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 06:16 PM
–

So then how do you explain men having higher levels of testosterone and them being more competitive and aggression of not through evolution? You know, we could have evolved to be like Bonobos or Marmoset monkeys but noooo.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 04:39 PM
–

I'm just wondering (and frankly quite disappointing) that our species has evolved the way it has and I can't help feel like most people are just happy with the way things are. Sure some people are progressive but they are usually privileged. Most aren't and show no resistance to stuff like gender roles or other types of inequalities. It makes it seem like more than just culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 04:23 PM
–

Sure. But I highly doubt that our species would be as violent and patriarchal if women and men were roughly the same in terms of physiology and temper. I don't think it's that surprising that patriarchy emerged from a sexually dimorphic species. I'd argue that men being stronger and more competitive during preindustrial times set up the perfect conditions of the formation of a male dominated society once agriculture had been unlocked
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 03:10 PM
–

Things like physical strength, assertiveness (not necessary towards a partner but other people if necessary), wide shoulders, strong facial features and competitive, status seeking behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 02:56 PM
1

So then do you think that women on average are more picky than men or that men have a tougher time finding a mate than women? I'm asking because these are some assumptions upon which all of red- and blackpill is built upon. Also this is a bit unrelated but I am curious in figuring out the best way to combat misogyny in young men especially those who are radicalized by the "pills" since it harms women and aids right-wingers. In your opinion what do you think is the best strategy? To systematicall…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 08:17 PM
1

You think it does not apply here? Also would you say that men providing resources for their partner is considered parental investment?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 07:47 PM
2

I assumed that women on average are more picky than men. I was trying to explain why and offer a solution for men. But if you disagree on the premises then the rest of the argument falls apart. So do you think men and women are equally picky in their own ways?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 07:02 PM
5

Well it depends. If providing financially is considered parental investment and men historically have been providers then it would imply that both sides are equally picky (equal investment) and the cultural assumption that women are more picky is wrong. If not then men can even out women's investment by contributing more themselves
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 05:50 PM
-1

Unfortunately I'm not an expert on the subject so I'm not sure whether proving resources such as money and housing is considered parental investment. I tried doing research on this question specifically but couldn't find any good answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 05:47 PM
2

But if women and men invest in equal energy into offspring and choosing the wrong partner results in being stuck with their offspring for 15-20 years (especially in cultures where divorce gets looked down upon) then we should expect women and men to be equally picky. It would also mean that the assumption that women are more picky than men is wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 05:42 PM
0

Well if the theory states that the sex who invests more energy is the picky one and women invest more energy than either women are more picky than men or the theory is wrong in this case.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 05:39 PM
-2

I agree but I'd argue that offspring require significantly less parental investment in their 20s than in their teens
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 05:37 PM
0

Out of curiosity: in a hypothetical, ideal society where violence, sexism and misogyny against women by men is completely non-existent and men provide as much emotional and sexual satisfaction to women (no more orgasm gap, stuff like that), do you think dating would be less harsh on men, with less men being single? Would standards be lower and everyone more casual or would nothing change?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 05:35 PM
3

You're right 15-20 years would have been a better estimate
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 05:19 PM
5

Whether or not you find those qualities redeeming is a moral judgment on your end. I'm not trying to judge the virtue of those traits instead I'm curious what effects those traits have on men and women and it's implication in the way men behave in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/24 11:39 PM
2

But one looking for a SAHB who eats her out daily might be your thing That sounds nice. I also never thought about it in terms of niches. That seems like a much better way of thinking than in terms of leagues and status
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/24 11:25 AM
2

I'm the last person you need to convince. I just wouldn't know how that would work especially since things seem to be going backwards given the circumstances
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 03:58 PM
1

Of course, you're totally right. A relationship must be an exchange otherwise it is exploitation.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 12:05 PM
2

I like older women with successful careers but I probably won't be of any use to them so they wouldn't go out with me. I have a huge crush on my uni professor but it's never going to happen. It is what it is. I still really like your advice though. I think it's super helpful and more men should hear what you have to say. I guess if the niche I like doesn't like me back then I need to find a different niche as you said.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 12:03 PM
1

Because having intercourse with someone feels good (I've been told) and I don't want to miss out.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 11:56 AM
1

So how do men need to be socialized in order to be compatible with women?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 10:50 AM
1

At this point I honestly have no idea anymore. Why do you think so many young men struggle finding a relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 08:46 PM
3

You can do it! I'm sure you'll find someone eventually. Just don't be too hard on yourself. The world can be quite brutal sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 05:05 PM
5

It's not that women don't desire you or that you are undesirable by default. My argument was that the structure of current society makes dating hard for men who are neurodivergent, have anxiety, depression or other disadvantages.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 03:59 PM
5

Yes I agree. Don't blame yourself or anyone else. It's all just circumstances. The best we can do I figure out what policies help improve everyone's lives and things will get better.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 03:02 PM
5

I'm not predicting societal collapse but rather claiming that certain circumstances makes dating and life in general difficult for some men in the current system
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 02:22 PM
1

It's a societal problem and have nothing to do with evolution. Just because society is a certain way doesn't mean it ought to be like that
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 02:10 PM
3

What about a part-time model where the man works part-time half the day and does domestic tasks the other half? Do you think such a model could work or even become popular in the future?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 12:31 PM
1

I don't reproduce.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 12:22 PM
3

That men who are unable to perform the behaviors necessary to succeed at capitalism will have harder time finding a mate because they are seen as not having their life together and thus undesirable
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 12:04 PM
3

That's a good point. Equal parental investment should definitely be the norm. Lots of men talk about wanting children but at the same time will expect their future wives to all the childcare work and then go on to complain that woman are too picky.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 12:01 PM
3

I agree that the talking point that women don't go out with men who earn less than them is incorrect. I was instead trying to appeal to romantically unsuccessful men by offering them an alternative, progressive narrative as to why they are single. Yes, attractiveness play a role but many of them are Neets or struggling with mental health or have disabilities; all problems that get exacerbated by they way things are run in our society.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 11:58 AM
0

No, I'm saying that having a disability as a man under capitalism makes dating harder
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 11:52 AM
1

A revolution sounds like a place for a fun first date, later followed by some bourgeois- proletariat role-play in the bedroom.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 11:48 AM
6

yes unfortunately attractiveness will always play a role now matter the context but the hope is that in a more equitable world beauty standards wouldn't be so harsh. Beauty standards have a connection to wealth so if inequitably goes down beauty standards might follow. (but that might just be wishful thinking)
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 11:46 AM
1

Attractiveness is a different variable in addition of adaptiveness to current society. They are both decreasing your probability of finding a mate but by getting rid of harmful systems and policies you are increasing your odds of finding someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 11:44 AM
3

It doesn't matter if such a society existed in the past or not. I doubt it did since most if not all agricultural societies were deeply patriarchal. The point is that reducing inequalities makes life easier for men struggling with mental health or disabilities under capitalism and patriarchy increasing their odds of finding a mate. (Aside from such policies obviously being beneficial to women)
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 11:40 AM
0

But wouldn't you agree that having disabilities or being a Neet and failing at capitalism as a result makes dating tremendously more difficult? Isn't that a better narrative to offer struggling men than to tell them that women only like "Chad"?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 11:30 AM
-1

I think benevolent sexism unfortunate makes many men more attractive but that's the result of a patriarchal culture in which women are born ad raised into. If you're told women are fragile and need protection from real men than that will shape your perception of men and your dating preferences as a woman. So getting rid of those norms is still beneficial.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 11:22 AM
1

Yes I agree. You make a good point that statistically there might still be someone willing to date you in those circumstances but I'd still hold on to the assumption that being manipulative to capitalism makes dating much more harder.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 11:19 AM
1

What's that?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 11:16 AM
1

Sure. I didn't argue that men need to be sole breadwinners. I'm saying that failure to adapt to the current system leads to romantic failure among men but not women.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 11:15 AM
2

But isn't hyper-masculinity a result of living in a patriarchal structure? Either way I think my argument that reducing hierarchies inequality of all kind help men in the dating market still applies
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 11:12 AM
3

NEETs are more likely to have some form of disability such as depression, ASD, ADHD or anxiety that poses as an obstacle to participate in the job market and society in general. They are also considered red flags by the dating market and don't have relationships. Since women want men on their level and women are more likely to be educated than men, male neets are more likely to not find a mate.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 11:07 AM
5

There are many complete reasons why people, regardless of gender, cannot take care of themselves but laziness or selfishness are not one of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 11:00 AM
1

Exactly and men who aren't well adapted to the system won't be able to generate a high enough income or non at all making them undesirable to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 10:59 AM
1

Women's equality is the result of women's rights. Recall who women weren't allowed to own a credit card or even work without the permission of their husband? Free markets didn't lead to women's rights, political action did. Income and education level definitely plays a role in dating. If she wants someone on her level and your struggling to even keep yourself above water because disabilities makes generating an income difficult no one will date you. The reason you met your wife wasn't despite yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 10:57 AM
7

I argue the reason romantically unsuccessful men have nothing to offer is because they are struggling within the current system due to personal disabilities such as anxiety disorders or neurodivergence or adverse living conditions such as poverty, familial issues or forms of discrimination which all make life hard in our current society. The assumption is that creating a system that helps those people would reduce their stress making it more easy for them to function and ultimately find a mate
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 10:49 AM
2

I think behavioral expectations differ for women and men. I was arguing that men who don't have culturally defined masculine traits or interests are more likely to get rejected by peers decreasing the size of their social network. Same goes for women but applied to feminine traits. A woman who naturally has wider shoulders and doesn't enjoy wearing makeup for personally reasons I predict will have less friends than woman who are hyper-feminine. I believe that men not possessing masculine traits …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 10:41 AM
3

I think the manosphere has been so effective at radicalizing young men because of the missing narrative that connects men's dating struggles to patriarchy and capitalism
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 12:18 AM
5

I'm sure those men exists and they should change. I was arguing that income makes a man more attractive than doing domestic work all else being equal. So you mean that if a man is unable to get his life together and find a job then he probably won't be able to do domestic work?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 12:16 AM
7

Really? I thought income increases odds of finding a partner. Surely there are outliers but isn't there an overall trend?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 12:10 AM
4

There's some truth to that. I wish other leftists weren't so moralizing sometimes and quick to judge others but to be fair they also get demonized by the other side as well
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 12:09 AM
2

I don't claim to know the answer. As a socialist I believe that a reduction of gender and income inequality is desirable but how should best be achieved is a different debate. Don't you at least agree with that?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 12:08 AM
10

Sure I agree with that, I'm not saying men shouldn't act masculine not rather that currently failing at acting like a man and failing at being good at making money makes dating difficult for those men
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 12:02 AM
2

That's a shame. I am a young socialist but I already don't have my life together. It's disenchanting to know that I am undesirable because I fail at patriarchy and capitalism. All the more motivation of revolutionary action.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 10:43 PM
1

Just a piece of general advice. When talking to other men who struggle with dating I would strongly recommend you don't blame them otherwise you're adding fuel to the fire. We are all victims of circumstance so it blaming someone for circumstances out of their control has no function other than making them feel defensive.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 08:57 PM
1

I'm not complaining I'm simply stating facts.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 05:47 PM
1

Ok Mr. Dating Expert, you're telling me you're just supposed to go up to a woman, interrupt her with whatever she is doing and ask her to do something else but with me instead? That sounds unhinged. I'd rather not bother anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 05:28 PM
1

I went to school and now I go to uni and I've never met anyone there. I wouldn't ask someone out because that seems a bit rude. What if she doesn't want to be asked out? Other than that I have no idea where people in relationships actually meet. The process is shrouded in mystery. I did accidentally get a girls phone number once but I think she was just being polite.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 03:35 PM
1

Well I've never had anyone come up to me and be like "hey you are hot do you want to go out with me" or even look at me with desire and I'm sure that's reflective of most guys like me.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 11:47 AM
–

Sure. I was assuming that being a socialist would probably be a red flag for most women.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 11:17 AM
1

I'd love for you to be right but unfortunately my face is aesthetically compromised and no woman would ever love me. If you saw what I looked like you'd agree. Honestly, if you had to bet a million dollars on whether or not guys like us will ever find someone where would you put your money?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 11:16 AM
–

Beta males, assemble!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 10:55 AM
–

hey, I'd love to be proven wrong but I believe there is a threshold that men must meet to be good enough for any woman and some of us just fall below it. We simply have nothing of value to offer.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 11:27 PM
–

I wish I had a fwb but I fear I lack the facial appeal
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 10:54 PM
–

No, I don't watch other people engage in intercourse. That would be creepy but I do hear the beds squeaking in the apartment above whether I like it or not and it does make me wonder what that must be like. It will forever be a mystery. I guess women just aren't attracted to beta males like me.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 10:20 PM
–

Yes I guess that would be sound conclusion
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 08:47 PM
–

Wait what? Well then what would you propose saying instead?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 08:47 PM
–

The concept that people actually get naked and sleep with each other will forever seem distant to me and hard to comprehend. Like people actually do this regularly. So yes I do find it hard to grasp.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 08:41 PM
–

Yes that's true. No action for me. That's just life. Don't pity me. I'll be fine. Over here. Alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 08:17 PM
–

Ah yes saying you're a socialist definitely makes you more popular to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 08:15 PM
–

So I guess I'm just the only one then? Dry as a desert. It is what it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 08:13 PM
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Personally I don't see myself in positions of leadership. I prefer more of a support role so I really wouldn't mind if women were in charge. (But that's not really what feminism is about)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 07:17 PM
–

Oh wow I didn't know that. While I always appreciate data I can't help but feel like I'm missing out lol!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 07:04 PM
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Even they wouldn't go for me. It's hopeless. I'd love to be proven wrong but I doubt it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 05:46 PM
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23 and I think given the circumstances it's a reasonable position to hold.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 05:25 PM
–

I'm fairly certain men of all ends of the political spectrum get rejected
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 04:44 PM
–

If population declined it would be a good for the environment given western consumption habits therefore I support women having less babies. And what would be your advice? Go to the gym to look manly? Become comfortable taking the lead and being confident? Become the provider and protector stereotype that still seems to prevail in the modern world? Dating advice for men is always just telling men to get better at capitalism and patriarchy.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 04:17 PM
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I'm not. Wasn't there some statistic that showed more men being single or something?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 04:09 PM
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"women are already requiring little to nothing to hook up." My non-existing dating life would strongly disagree with that statement
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 04:07 PM
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And I'd argue that those feeling are a waste of energy since most of them don't get laid anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 03:41 PM
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I thought it's a boycott of men in reaction to them taking away their rights.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 03:40 PM
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Well it's not really about me. I was just using myself as an example since I believe many young guys are in similar situations. I do agree that there just might not be enough women willing to partake in 4B even if it was effective at combating misogyny.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 03:36 PM
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Does it make sense for women to boycott men if men try to take away their rights for women's own safety? Yes, I agree with that but when examining misogyny of men towards women I'd estimate that not much has changed since 4B or even before that.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 03:27 PM
1

I'm mean I'm sure there are some women who like feminine men but that's not the major as far as I know
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 03:33 PM
–

You're right I should not have associated traditional masculine looks with dominance behaviour. But that still begs the question: why are men with masculine traits on average more attractive to women than men with mostly feminine traits?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 01:51 PM
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Well then your husband must be the exception and I'm happy you found someone like that. But is it not true that higher levels of testosterone on average leads to dominance seeking behaviours in men? If we assume that masculinity is an indicator for high testosterone then a desire for masculinity is also the encouragement of dominant behaviours among men. If women find men attractive who have prestige and social status wouldn't that just incentivize men to seek out status and prestige which under…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 12:47 PM
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They usually act mean and competitive towards other men in order to attain social dominance because that's what patriarchal, capitalist culture deems as attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 12:34 PM
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I would argue the reason he's kind is because he gets validation from society for being a "proper man". No one needs to engage in dominance behaviours if they are already dominant so they can act calmly instead. Just because a man is kind to you does not mean they doesn't engage in other dominance behaviours such as bullying other men of competitiveness at the workplace. It's low-status men who suffer from the dominance seeking behaviours of other men and from my perspective it feels like women …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 11:58 AM
1

But that just means she wouldn't have liked me in the first place and is only my partner by force. Would you really want someone to be your partner by forcing them but they secretly hate you? That sounds terrible for everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 09:16 PM
-1

But I go to Uni (struggling though) and all that stuff about owning houses and making babies seems far in the future. Do people not form relationship just to wear matching sweaters, spend time with each other and occasionally do the intercourse anymore?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 06:18 PM
0

You're telling me I should venture into the realm of femcels? I've heard legends though I might not return.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 05:33 PM
2

So financial independence is the threshold for a relationship. Wait but if I have trouble with finances and you need finances for sex then I will never get to have sex? That's depressing.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 05:03 PM
1

The body of a woman will always be a mystery to me
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 04:23 PM
1

No that's money should go to people with real disabilities. I think I'm just dumb
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 04:03 PM
2

How can a man increase a woman's quality of life other than offer his high income?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 03:18 PM
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It still wouldn't be good enough. Men have to make so much effort just to get a relationship especially for ugly men like me. Meanwhile there are women in the exact same situation as myself and they still somehow have a boyfriend. It's so demoralising to be part of the only demographic that can't find a relationship because their attractiveness depends on their social status.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 02:47 PM
1

But how is it my decision? I can't change my aptitude, susceptibility to anxiety, impulsiveness or my unattractive face and body. A woman's sacred temple will forever be locked away from low-status beta males like me.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 02:22 PM
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Then I guess I'm staying a virgin for life. Competence is something you're born with. Blackpill needs to be revised since it looks more likely that women select men based on IQ (indicated by income and education level), values and lastly attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 02:19 PM
-2

Cleverness as in raw intelligence? Why is cleverness so important to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 01:44 PM
-2

Ok but doesn't that imply that incels are right in that they are low-status men who will never have intercourse with women? If there are always going to be men who can't attain necessary status to meet women's requirements due to personal limitations then what's the purpose of trying to disprove incels beliefs and tell them to improve? Should the message be more about accepting ones low status then?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 01:25 PM
2

But not all men can attain status. If many women would rather stay single than dating a low status man then would that imply that many men will never be good enough for a woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 01:16 PM
1

No one wronged me. I just don't have relationships or sex with women because they aren't attracted to me. I don't see what feminism has to do with anything or why it is "evil"
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 09:18 AM
1

I feel like it would be a lie to say looks don't matter but it's the combination with personality that makes someone irritable. What makes you feel attraction to someone? Is it more about looks or personality?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 10:03 PM
3

I think fashion is mostly an expression of ourselves so what we wear reveals personality. Or not?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 09:34 PM
1

yes you're right but not because of the visuals alone but because of the attributes associated with that kind of fashion and career such as confidence and wit but that's just my taste
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 09:30 PM
4

Forgive my violation of the flair rules but with all due respect that's not true. Educated women in leadership positions walking around in business suite are super hot. I think men lie about not caring about women's achievements but deep down there's nothing hotter than a capable partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 08:39 PM
3

I like older women
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 07:28 PM
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Hey I get it. women don't sleep with us and it's frustrating. But that doesn't mean you need to be an anti-feminist, right-winger. You can still be unattractive and progressive at the same time, like me.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 04:57 PM
2

Wow I think "whore" might be a bit of a strong word. I was referring to what I perceived as a trend online
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 10:54 PM
4

Many women are afraid to call themselves feminist because they are scared to be judged by others. I'd hope most women would agree with feminist beliefs. What I was getting at was the prevalence of male gender roles on social media.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 10:51 PM
-1

Mostly just Instagram memes and YouTube content talking about the topic. Just to be clear there's obviously nothing wrong with having old school dating preferences the problem that I have is that these preferences are being generalized as an ideal that all people, in this case men, should follow.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 10:33 PM
1

I'd say the more radical ones definitely are but I feel like the topic of rigid male gender roles are mostly a blindspot among leftists
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 10:09 PM
2

That makes sense. I just wish the rhetoric was geared towards highlighting the actual issue which is that men don't contribute as much as women domestically instead of going back in time
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 10:02 PM
5

I think instead of adhering to old values, maybe the best solution is for men to contribute 50/50 in the household instead of focusing on trying to fulfil those expectations of "acting like a man"
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 10:00 PM
-3

I agree. I believe men should want it because if they don't contribute to housework like women then the only other way they can invest energy into a relationship is by becoming the sole breadwinner which the economy doesn't allow.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 09:45 PM
1

What's wrong with being a beta male?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 12:21 PM
1

So what number is greater than virtually nothing? 5? 10? 100? How many examples of women writing songs about relationships must I find before it disprove your statement?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 11:36 AM
1

You should listen to Taylor swift. Most of her songs are about relationships
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 09:27 PM
2

The photoshoot with Rihanna and Asap where they're on the beach is so iconic
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 08:39 AM
1

I agree. You really are always right. I think men should celebrate women's success and hype them up regardless of whether they go out with them or not instead of being insecure about women potentially out earning them and dragging them down.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/24 06:48 PM
-3

It's a shame that so many men think like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/24 04:51 PM
0

Someone can have a preference but then lower their standards. I was arguing that most men don't even have that preference in the first place
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/24 03:28 PM
-5

Just because those women don't exist or if they do, don't date guys below them doesn't mean that men can't desire women like that. It's not like men desire women with power who are "above" them and they just can't get them instead most men don't even desire a woman with those traits regardless of whether he is in her league or not
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/24 01:42 PM
9

I think it has something to do with traditional gender role still being kept alive on life support despite their time being long overdue. I can definitely imagine thought patterns like "I don't want a boy, I want a real man" or "men who live with their parents are losers" still present on the minds of women and men leading to women rejecting those men and men enforcing the idea that they must be "real men" onto themselves. What do you think?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/24 11:48 AM
0

Edit: reposted to add user flair Personally as a 23m I'd love to serve an older woman with an assertive personality in a position of authority or leadership. I think successful carrier women are super hot. Unfortunately those women either don't exist or if they do, they'd never be into me. I desperately wish to be proven wrong but I have a suspicion that most women don't want a man who works part-time, cooks and cleans because it's not "manly". Oh well. It is what it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 10:46 PM
1

Well I'm a beta male so I don't get to have intercourse with women and I'm doing fine. Why can't other men feel this way too?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 04:41 PM
1

I find the whole "immanent collapse of civilization" prophecy rather hard to believe since you are assuming men only work in order to impress women. The more likely explanation is that people work to pay the bills. Men who don't get picked stick need to make money
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 03:15 PM
5

So you're a white pill man? I've heard legends. Didn't know they actually existed. I also wish I could mate with the women I find attractive but ultimately I believe that's never going to happen. It's neither my nor women's fault. It's just a matter of circumstances. Hatred and misogyny aren't going to change anything. Angry will only increase my stress and the odds of getting heart problems. I think our purpose in this world is service. I think guys like us are supposed to help the world despit…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 05:50 PM
1

Because people like helping each other
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 05:24 PM
1

So if all men took on this mentality there'd be no war. Great
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 04:20 PM
1

I think shaming men who don't mate with women is mostly cultural and in no way inevitable. I don't think society will collapse just because unchosen men stop being shamed
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 02:14 PM
1

Why would humanity degrade just because women are being more selective
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 02:07 PM
–

Exactly women have higher reproductive risks so they should be more selective. If women are picky then men, especially the unchosen ones, must accept that. Additionally I also think unchosen men should stop feeling bitter or ashamed over not being selected by women. There will always be beta males who don't get to mate with women. Ever since I realised this I've stopped feeling shame or insecure over being a beta male because that's just how evolution works.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 02:03 PM
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Agreed. Many men who are unsuccessful with women act like it's the end of the world and if women raise their standards society will collapse. The truth is there will always be men who don't get selected by women and we must accept that. I believe the best course of action is to embrace the identity of beta male and guys like us shouldn't move on with our lives instead of becoming incels who spend all day hating women. Sure it sucks that the affairs of sex-havers will always remain a mystery to m…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 01:56 PM
–

Fair enough
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 01:45 PM
–

I was arguing that no one should feel ashamed for not being sexually selected since that is just how nature works sometimes
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 01:42 PM
2

I agree this was the main premise of my argument. Women have higher reproductive risks so they should be the ones who determine which men are worthy of having intercourse or relationships. Some men don't get selected (beta males) and they should accept that they don't get to mate with women and move on instead of being angry, bitter, anti-feminist and misogynists. Many of us beta males wouldn't have been selected by women before feminism so as unchosen men we might as well support it right? Does…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 01:36 PM
1

I think your mindset is very admirable and self-improvement is always a worthwhile endeavour. I work and things myself but not to gain favor with women but because I like the feeling of achievement through goal-driven behaviour. It's about fulfillment. If I make all my effort dependant on eventually attaining a relationship and that doesn't happen because I get rejected then I'll feel like all my work was for nothing and I'll get demotivated or depressed. If I ever find a relationship that would…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 01:25 PM
–

No it doesn't. It just means that I don't get to experience what it's like to have sex with a woman. I don't see how that affects any other part of my life. Would it bother you if women thought you were undesirable?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 01:12 PM
–

I get that someone might feel bad for missing out or experience romantic loneliness but I don't think anyone should feel ashamed or even resentful for being single. If someone is unintentionally celibate that's fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 01:10 PM
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I think the whole red / black pill and all their theories to explain their undesirability are too complicated. For me alpha males are all men who get to have intercourse with women for whatever the reason may be and beta males are men who don't get to mate. I also don't assert blame onto anyone neither women nor incels. It's just a matter of circumstance. Therefore there's nothing wrong with men like us who don't get to mate.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 01:08 PM
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Why not? What's wrong with being a beta male? All it means is that women don't find you attractive. I'm one and I have no problem with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 01:05 PM
–

You determine your own self worth. There's nothing wrong with being a beta male.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 12:42 PM
–

I'm a man whom women don't find attractive and you don't see me bombing a shopping mall of something. I just don't think it's women's responsibility to sexually appease so they don't become violent. I think men especially the romantically unsuccessful should be more peaceful and just exist even if it means they don't have intercourse or relationships with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 11:31 AM
–

Why are men who can't get women pathetic? Why should someone have less worth just because they don't have relationships with women?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 10:55 AM
–

But just because some men don't get to mate with women doesn't mean they should become resentful or misogynist because there's nothing wrong with not getting selected
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 10:27 AM
1

Overpopulation in combination with overconsumption are destroying the planet so women being more picky is actually a good thing. Sure some of us don't get to mate but at least the planet is recovering
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 08:27 AM
2

Thanks that's great advice. One thing I don't understand about the movement of involuntarily celibate men is: why the misogyny? There are definitely a few women who struggle with dating as well. There is a sub-reddit for them and I think the term "incel" was even coined by a woman yet they don't nearly have hateful views of the gender they're attracted to like men. So I must be about more than just not having intercourse or relationships with women. Maybe it's shame? Or Status anxiety? Fear of l…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 08:25 AM
–

Hey, if it happens I won't say no and I definitely wouldn't complain but I'm just trying to be realistic here. I also think the anger that some guys have for not being selected is kinda unnecessary. All that rage will lead to heart problems when they get old
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 10:42 PM
1

I like older women because they usually have more authority because they are further ahead in life: established, independent, more successful, achievements stuff like that. But your reason also applies.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 10:26 PM
–

I'm not blue pill. I'm an unchosen beta male. I'm just trying to be realistic but also merciful. Some of us just don't get to mate with women. That doesn't make us inferior
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 10:20 PM
–

I think incels need to change their attitude. Women are gaining more power by the day, patriarchy is slowly vanishing and that's a good thing. The rise of women is inevitable and the more power women have the less they must depend on men, the more freedom they have to reject men who don't meet their standards. As time passes the divine feminine will grow stronger and it will be harder for men to get selected by women. Men must accept the empowerment of women or they will waste their entire lives…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 10:11 PM
8

I think sex work should be viewed highly by society and it is wrong for men to stigmatize sex work. I am grateful that there are women who are willing to have intercourse with low-status men who would otherwise never get to experience what it's like. On a side note I think many men's dogmatic belief in masculinity is the reason women don't want them. There are many men who could mate with women but they refuse to do domestic work or child care and they behave badly.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 09:36 PM
-2

Is it really surprising that men and women favour male leadership in a society that operates under the assumption that men are natural leaders? Personally I would mind living in a society led by women. I think it would be more peaceful.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 09:27 PM
–

But that's their problem not yours. Just because a man doesn't mate doesn't mean he's a lesser human being
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 08:57 PM
–

It's ok to feel sad over not being in a relationship despite wanting to but there's also nothing wrong with you because of it. You shouldn't feel ashamed for being single because it's no one's fault really. It's just a matter of circumstances.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 08:51 PM
–

Just wanted to clarify that with my original post I'm not saying that men who are successful with women (alpha Males) are bad. It's value free. Instead I'd argue that there's nothing wrong with men who don't get selected by women and as a consequence will never get to experience intercourse with a woman (beta males). It's neither women's fault nor is it the fault of undesirable men. It's just sexual selection.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 08:47 PM
1

I'm a beta male meaning I don't get to mate with women. If your husband is desirable to you that would make him an alpha male not a beta
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 08:43 PM
1

I agree but curing deadly diseases improves people's wellbeing being but forcing women to be attracted to men they don't like does not. Other incels get angry at women for not selecting them yet personally I think the best to accept that there will always be men for whom divine sexual experiences with women will always remain shrouded in mystery and forever unattainable.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 08:35 PM
-3

Well I'm a lonely cuck and I've just accepted it I guess. It's better than being angry about it all day
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 08:26 PM
–

Women also don't select me. I also don't get to have intercourse with women despite wanting to and I accept that. I'm sure sex and relationships must be amazing with the right person it's just not meant for guys like me. Sex-havers will always be a mystery to me but I don't resent them.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 08:15 PM
-4

I think all sexual selection by women is legitimate since they are the authority who determine which men can experience sex. If women exclusively prefer strong, alpha men then all men even the ones left out (like myself) should respect women's preferences
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 08:09 PM
–

Just because women don't mate with a man doesn't make him inferior. Maybe in a strict sexual context but that says nothing about his worth as a human being. I've personally never been selected by a woman for a relationship or for recreational intercourse but I accept that some guys just aren't meant to mate with women and that's ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 07:51 PM
–

I hold escorts to high esteem. They are willing to give guys like us the experience of what it's like to be naked with a woman, something sexless men might otherwise never get to experience (assuming they can pay for it). I would be concerned for the safety of sex workers though because many incels are misogynists and I'd be scared that they might disrespect or even harm their escorts. But in general I think sex work should be destigmatized assume ethical practices are in place.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 07:40 PM
1

I think women mostly select men for casual sex using the same criteria as they would use for long-term committed relationships. Not that I can speak from experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 07:30 PM
1

Women are in charge of sexual selection so all their preferences are legit. Women are free to have their own preferences
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 06:38 PM
3

Thanks. Wizards do tend to pick up some wisdom here and there over the dry, uneventful years
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 05:49 PM
–

Do you think that accepting this fact might help other incels so that they stop being so bitter and misogynistic? I personally feel the frustration of other incels for not being able to mate but I think it is unacceptable that they turn into misogynist as a consequence. Maybe a message of value-free, shame-free acceptance is better than blue pillers telling us that self improvement is the solution. Historically there have probably always been men who were rightfully denied the privilege of matin…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 05:29 PM
2

I think this is the key to deradicalising incels. At least it has helped me a lot. There's nothing wrong with the fact that I am not worthy of mating and that I will probably never know what it's like to have intercourse with a woman. It's not my fault. It's not women's fault. It's no one's fault. It's just a matter of circumstances. It's just natural selection.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 05:24 PM
–

Chads get selected but they have no sexual power. Women are the ones who rightfully select chads because they are worthy of intercourse
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 05:13 PM
1

While I agree that some women select bad men I believe this is the result of women not having the necessary power and security to make a good decision due to oppression under patriarchy. We should strive to eliminate male-dominace so women have the freedom to select worthy men. I think all sexual selection by women is legitimate and should be respected by men even if it means they don't get selected.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 05:12 PM
–

I wouldn't refer to men who don't get selected as "victims" or else other unchosen men might feel resentment towards women. I'm trying to argue the opposite that no matter what the reason women will always be the legitimate authority to determine between men get to mate and those who don't. As an unchosen man myself I believe this way of thinking might help with other men because it assumes that there is nothing wrong with them just because they are undesirable to women or because they don't get…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 04:26 PM
–

I think many times coercive factors such as forced marriage and poverty lead to women being with men they might not have chosen otherwise. Therefore I think the more power women have the better decisions they can make in selecting men. As an unchosen man myself I am also pessimistic that the negative perceptions of undesirable men will be hard to eliminate and virgin men will always be bullied
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 04:17 PM
–

I think most women select men based on how well they think he will perform as a father and as a romantic and sexual partner. Those traits might change over time with changes in the environment like perfecting intelligence over strength. If women think the autistic basement dweller is the better choice then they probably have their reasons. Either way there's no shame if men don't happen to match whatever traits women select for
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 04:12 PM
–

Just because women don't want to reproduce with a man doesn't make him a failure. Sure it's a shame to miss out on having intercourse and relationships with women but that doesn't make someone a lesser person
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 03:50 PM
–

I agree. Just because a man isn't desirable to women doesn't mean that his life is over or that he must live in shame. There are other ways to contribute to society other than reproducing. What I dislike about MGTOW is their anger towards women despite claiming to have left them behind
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 03:49 PM
–

Yes that is correct. Given that no woman has ever really been interested in me I probably am in the bottom 80%. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 03:43 PM
9

Even if we lived in a polygamous society in which a few lucky men got an average 5-10 women that still doesn't give the unchosen men the right to be violent towards women or the men they select. If women prefer relationships with high-Status polygamous men then the low-status men must accept that.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 03:33 PM
8

"so you don't find my Habsburger chin attractive?"
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 03:28 PM
–

I'm a man and while I have my preferences they ultimately don't matter since women hold the power of sexual selection.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 03:24 PM
–

What's wrong with women being picky? If they only want to date the top 10% of men why shouldn't they? It's their preferences and you are free to have your own preferences
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 02:24 PM
1

I don't know. Some pots have really weird shapes. I also don't find the hyper masculine look very appealing. I wish my pot was shaped like Timothy Chalamet then I wouldn't be single. Oh well it is what it is. I think what I was trying to argue in the original post is that men shouldn't turn into hateful incels or Manosphere types just because they are single due to them being romantically unsuccessful.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 07:52 PM
2

If I'm going to be completely honest I'm also not happy being single. I'm just trying to cope with the fact that I'll probably stay single for a long time since I'm not very good looking and I also don't match any category of acting or looking "masculine" that are considered attractive. Though I think you're right: being in an unhappy relationship is worse than being alone. It's just so hard walking past couples in public. It always seems like they all have perfect relationships. It seems so una…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 07:07 PM
-1

That makes lots of sense. What I don't understand is no relationship > Inceldom > misogyny
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 03:25 PM
-1

But it's still not an acceptable way to react because it hurts orhers
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 03:23 PM
1

Sorry I'm going to need a bit more context. Like "But sex..." Or "Butt sex"?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 03:22 PM
-1

That makes sense. Better to stay single than trapped with someone who makes you unhappy.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 01:46 PM
-4

So a man leaving hate comments beneath a woman's Instagram post because he can't get laid is genetically determined? Show me the gene!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 12:52 PM
-1

I think being single and being in a relationship both have their appeal yet one isn't better than the other. Just out of curiosity what makes someone a poor option in your opinion?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 12:49 PM
0

The IFS is a conservative think tank aimed at strengthening Christian family values. Do you really think this is a good source?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 12:40 PM
-4

Interesting. So basically you want what you can't have. Maybe tell the insecure men that many times relationships are overrated and even unfulfilling. Maybe they feel a fear of missing out?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 12:31 PM
1

It's a matter of mindset. If your entire value as a human being depends on getting laid then your setting yourself up for failure
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 12:20 PM
1

In an ideal world where men care about the pleasure of women and many men aren't violent and misogynistic I believe women might actually enjoy having consensual casual fun with someone they find attractive every now and then. I understand why so many women don't want sometimes casual given that there are only high risks and no benefits for women. But that's beside the point. I also think that culture has to change so that men don't feel shame for being single. Whether or not it's involuntary doe…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 12:19 PM
-4

Ok so what if the study is wrong? That doesn't change my main point that people, in this case men, benefit from learning to be happy being single.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 12:08 PM
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I'd say the 1950's standards of living is a pretty good compromise
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 03:38 PM
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Yeah you're right. Also acts of love don't always require buying stuff. So even then relationships don't require consumption to exist. As an undesirable single male people like me probably make up the exception regarding how much we consume. I don't own a car, a house, I hardly ever buy stuff and I'm at home all day like a monk. Probably why women don't want to mate with me (which is fine lol) but I think most other young people consume more than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 01:26 PM
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Worker co-ops sound great to me as well in addition to a cultural shift. I hear the argument that we need to democratise production and I fully agree but I also think that a reduction on consumption habits is also essential (says the guy using Reddit, I know) This scares me Me too. Even though I believe in inner peace and acceptance. The thought sometimes still makes me insecure. I fight the insecurities by focusing on goal-driven behaviour like work, practicing an instrument or engaging in soci…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 01:09 PM
–

That's true. I also don't think it's ok to stop anyone from having relationships and you're right life would probably be better without Reddit.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 12:45 PM
–

Communist incels are the only true red pill lol. I don't know if I'd go as far as calling myself a communist. I like the term socialist because it's more broad. I may be naive but I believe many of society's problems can still be fixed within the context of a market economy with progressive policies such as aggressive taxation for the rich, carbon taxes, welfare systems, free healthcare and a culture of reduced consumption among other things. Do you still believe in private enterprise but it's r…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 12:43 PM
–

Well I assume that murder is unethical. On the other hand there's definitely an argument for making less babies
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 12:32 PM
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I think it's not one's fault. Women are allowed to have whatever standards they choose. I would conclude that there is no such thing as ethical dating in our current society and leave it at that.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 12:29 PM
–

I don't know what that means but I hope it works out for you
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 12:27 PM
–

If my memory doesn't deceive me in 45% of marriages in the year 2022 men actually did not earn more than women and that trend is increasing according to some pew study
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 12:26 PM
–

Your tag says "Communist incel man". I am intrigued. What does it mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 12:24 PM
–

I guess you could argue that maintaining a relationship requires consumption (buying gifts, cars, clothes, dinners) that aren't necessary for survival but are considered acts of love by the receiver who is usually the woman. Since women are the ones who get pregnant they initially have a higher energy investment than men so they expect men to invest more energy in other areas of their relationship like commitment but also paying for stuff that might not be necessary. So it's still unethical to d…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 12:23 PM
–

From a biological perspective the amount of energy a species can consume is limited by its carrying capacity. Once that gets exceeded the population declines. From an ethical point of view I'd argue that most consumption isn't necessary for our survival yet overconsumption leads to exceeding planets boundaries which are very much not arbitrary
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 12:11 PM
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I guess the conclusion would be that there is no ethical dating under capitalism (or at least a market economy that can't price externalities properly)
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 11:59 AM
1

Wow you really did your research. I guess they don't call you science pilled man for nothing
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 09:32 AM
3

I'm old. Very old. Old enough to not understand references the kids these days make on the tik tok or the instagram or whatever website they're using at the moment (I'm 23). Apparently Gyat is a thing? I totally agree with what you said about the transitive nature of dating. As much as I hate to admit it I do realize that love is a transaction. I am usually met with reactions of shock and disbelief over trying to dissect something so pure and magical like love. Yet if a relationship isn't transa…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 10:26 PM
–

I agree. I don't like gender roles. I think they're stupid and I'm not very good at them. I would love to see more variation in heterosexual relationships
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 09:06 PM
–

How can you tell the difference if a man only wants to have intercourse with as opposed to genuinely having a crush on you?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 08:49 PM
–

Wait is it really that bad? I didn't know. But at least you can get short term hockups. Isn't that better than getting no one at all? Or not? When you say physical standards are so high do you mean looking like "chad", looking masculine and being muscular? I find gender roles really annoying. I just assumed they only affected straight people.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 08:39 PM
1

Well I suck at capitalism so I guess I'm never going to have a relationship. On the other hand I do enjoy housework. Maybe there's potential for an incel to housewife pipeline?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 08:14 PM
–

In other words evolution favours men who succeed at patriarchy and capitalism. That's a cool idea for a discussion. So sure, maybe those things you listed are requirements for finding the type of relationship where people are ready to settle down, have kids and grow old together but can you really expect that kind of performance from a boy still in highschool or a guy who just started college? And why do relationships have to be equivalent to starting a business? Is everything about profit these…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 08:02 PM
–

Most of the time they don't but I hate it when they do. I was watching a live stream of some gamers the other day while practicing my instrument. The topic of nerdy shows came up and one guy said something like "while you guys were watching that lame show I was having hot sex with my girlfriend". As someone who doesn't have intercourse with women it made me feel shame because that is something I will never experience then followed by an intense fear of missing out. Guys talk about this stuff qui…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 07:35 PM
–

You have to be worthy of loving and investing in. But that's kinda what I'm trying to say. Some of us just aren't worthy of being with a woman. We have nothing of value to offer. I think accepting that dating is hard and coming to terms with the harsh reality that some of just aren't desirable is better than constantly hating yourself for not being good enough. Personally I don't want false hope. I want to know where I'm standing in life instead of chasing after the delusion of self improvement.…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 07:19 PM
–

I believe the misogyny in incel communities stems from the shame they feel for being virgins. I think there should be a community for beta males who accept their status as "unchosen".
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 06:53 PM
–

I read the article but I must have missed the part with the escorts. What do you mean with your last sentence?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 06:41 PM
–

Neither do family and friends. So people shouldn't have them in their lives until they fix their self-image issues? I'd argue that a lack of basic human connections leads to low self esteem. Also I don't think people get relationships to make mental health problems go away but because it's fun to be around others. Not that I'd know. Has there truly been a time in your life where you felt worse in a relationship than before?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 06:34 PM
–

Who cares about that stuff. I just want a girlfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 04:24 PM
–

Acceptance would make the shame of not having a girlfriend go away. The manosphere hates beta males. They think they are inferior and that they must rise up and attain alpha male status to get their dicks wet. What I'm saying is that there's nothing wrong with being a beta male who doesn't have intercourse with women due to factors like looks, low income, anxiety disorders. It's just the way it is yet society treats these men like they are failures which I think is wrong. So what if we don't get…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 04:23 PM
–

Social acceptance won't change the relationship status of unchosen men but I do believe it would improve mental health. As long as not having a girlfriend is seen as a failure, romantically unsuccessful men will feel shame and that might cause depression or anger. I believe this is why incels are so misogist: they get told by social that their worth depends on getting laid. They don't so they get angry. I don't believe the whole red pill nonsense but I do think there exists a small group of men …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 04:14 PM
7

I toast to that
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 04:00 PM
–

What do you mean by "doing what they need to do for themselves"?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 03:56 PM
-5

So basically "act like a man". Wonderful. How enlightening.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 03:54 PM
–

But that's what I'm saying. I wish there was social acceptance over the fact that some men just don't have relationships with women instead of constantly making it about moral shortcomings or a weak will claiming the only solution is to go to the gym, improve and act like a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 03:47 PM
–

I think society should destigmatize straight men who don't get to have intercourse or relationships with women instead of mocking them. For example men bragging about how often they get laid or getting rid of the "basement loser" stereotype.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 03:45 PM
–

It's not a pity post. I think society needs to accept that it's normal for some percentage (I'd estimate 5-10%) of the heterosexual male population to never experience love or intimacy with a woman. I believe that acknowledgment would be far better than telling unchosen men that they just need to "get better"
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 03:35 PM
–

But what about twinks? Many gay men like twinks but I've never heard of a straight man with that body shape being desirable to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 03:32 PM
-4

I just don't see why it is necessary for men to prove that he has "potential" in order for him to be good enough. Usually that potential is just another way of demanding men act out their gender roles. "I want a real man" is what that means.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 03:30 PM
–

I think social acceptance of the fact would be helpful instead of telling romantically unsuccessful men that they aren't good enough and they need to self improve.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 03:27 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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