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AxeMuley Archive

View 6 posts and 44 comments by AxeMuley on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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7

Doesn’t sound like you have moved on yet. Figure that out and work on yourself. You are moving in the right direction by starting your profile on an app. Accept the past and hug your cactus. I am going through the same and with each new day I am accepting my role in my divorce. A divorce simply put, was a bad relationship. Find you and keep asking questions on here and pay it forward when others seek help. Good luck man!
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 11:39 AM
2

I am working on this part for sure. I tend to look at my decisions and second guess. I now replace guilt with regret, and remind myself to learn from the past and be better next time. Think of the marriage or whatever didn’t work out as a bad investment, and learn from it. Journal your thoughts too, and make a list of the things you want in your next chapter. This is helping me move forward and maybe it will help you too. I recently told a woman on a date that I know what I am looking for and I …
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 01:22 PM
1

Redirect the energy to making yourself better and you will attract women naturally and you won’t ever spend time being concerned with what people think of you. Posting that will be perceived as being weak. People over post and it shows they are seeking validation. Stay positive always and stop giving a shit about what others think. Read no more Mr nice guy buy Dr Glover. It’s a life changing book!
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 01:11 PM
1

What’s that?
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 01:00 PM
1

I stayed too long. A year went by wondering and dithering. I regret not being more decisive. My advice is get your own place sooner than later. I recently watched Shawshank Redemption and the most memorable line for me was.. “Get busy living or get busy dying.”
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 02:30 AM
5

As others have said, give yourself compassion. I posted yesterday and someone was kind enough and quick to remind me to stop being so hard on myself. That helped me so much. This is the very first thing we should do. Forgive yourself. Be gentle to you. You deserve it!
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 01:20 PM
1

This is worth discussing. I recently went through a divorce. 28 years, I was not desired sexually (dead bedroom) and I masked the problem with beer. Lots of beer. It’s a cycle. We blame her, but while she may be not sexual or at least with us, we drink. As Robert Downey Jr says it, we have to hug the cactus. I was a weak conforming male, and honestly should or could have left years ago to find someone who is more compatible. But I stayed because I was committed to providing a family structure fo…
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 01:11 PM
5

Rude. When people seek advice on here, rule of thumb is to avoid sarcasm and the snarky “lol.”
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 01:45 AM
5

Nothing is wrong with you brother. Myself and a friend of mine going through the same thing and as many years as you, exp what you are going through. You are NOT broken and it’s normal. There are so many emotions that have this affect on all of us. Don’t beat yourself up. This is normal.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 04:54 AM
2

The daily little things. Mundane as it were, helped keep life interesting. But then the person she is today is not the person I married. I’m going to have a talk with my adult children about marriage being a total joke.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 05:33 AM
1

I’m a bass player too!! This has been the toughest season of my life. Music and good people, or whatever you have a passion for can help and heal.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 05:28 AM
26

I hope time heals the anger. I am so disappointed in her. Divorce papers are on the table as I sit here. When she was 21 all she wanted in life was me, and to make a family together. Well here we are 28 years later, kids grown and she completely changed into an unaffectionate person who lives for being with her girlfriends. She isn’t the person I married and I get so mad sometimes because I stayed the course for soo long, only to see her check out of the marriage. I hope you are correct that tim…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/24 06:58 PM
2

BJJ??
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 12:27 AM
1

There is so much good advice and support on this thread. I am going through this too, and found some peace just reading everyone’s thoughts. It sucks. We didn’t plan this for ourselves. But we must move forward and take really good care of ourselves. Spoil yourselves. Buy what you want. I heard someone here got a motorcycle license. Gym, learn a language, therapy. Each day do something that pleases you. I just went to the gym with my two sons and worked out this week. We are starting a new weekl…
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/23 03:51 PM
1

Yes I should have mentioned that one was an actual appraisal and the other was a cma. Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/23 03:08 PM
3

Be patient with yourself and begin your journey of self discovery and becoming an integrated man. I am going through a divorce (28 yrs married) and No More Mr Nice Guy audiobook saved me from myself. I keep a list of his teachings above my desk and look at the notes each day. Do I still hurt inside? Absolutely. But we must be strong and tap into our healthy masculinity and grow. You can do this and you are not alone. Also, check out Corey Wayne 3% Man.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/23 09:02 PM
1

She wants to buy me out. She feels that the fees should be subtracted (like you said) from the appraisal. I keep getting mixed opinions on this. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 12:56 AM
2

Thanks. Trying to do this without a lawyer. Hoping she will agree to a mediator this week. Kids are grown and out of the home. Only thing we need to agree on is the house.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/23 10:18 PM
1

You are doing the right thing by asking for help here OP. I am going through this like many here and keep asking, posting and seeking advice. I am in pain every day and just knowing that I am not alone helps me get through the day. Peace and strength to you.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/23 05:40 PM
3

Yep spot on. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/23 05:31 PM
5

Thank you for the reply. Coming home and the feeling of loneliness is hard after being together for so long. Our kids moved out last year and then shortly after that all of this happened but to be fair we both knew something was missing in our relationship. Even though I am the one filing I believe that she initiated it passively.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/23 04:32 PM
2

Oh gotcha and thank you for clarifying. I understand your point and it is a good one. I do agree that I should not pay realtor fees in my buy out. They would potentially deduct 20k (half of realtor fees from a future sale) from my half of the equity, if I agree, which I don’t. And I am standing my ground if they don’t want to buy me out, we will sell it. Thank you for your detailed response ms I am grateful for everyone here that helps and contributes to this topic. Peace and blessings to every …
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 11:18 PM
1

Not cool. At all. Leave.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 10:30 PM
1

Half of the realtor fees, when and if she sells it in the future. I guess some people in real estate consider “actual value” to be the price of the home minus the realtor fees when it sells. Is the at what you were asking? Or was that sarcasm regarding forensic pricing
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 10:17 PM
2

A few days ago my counselor told me to remind myself that it is OK to grieve, and remind yourself it will pass. It is a phase! Go to the gym, read scripture or whatever your religion or higher power is, eat healthy, avoid alcohol for now or altogether, cry, sleep, walk, talk to friends a lot, bike, swim, exercise some more, date that person who just contacted you. Be very good to yourself. You matter and people love you. You are not alone man!! Many of us here are suffering and moving forward to…
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 02:42 PM
1

Thanks for the comments here. Since I told her I am not keeping my name on the mortgage, she is now looking into refinancing and buying me out, AND she says that I need to pay half of future realtor fees, for when she decides to sell it down the road.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 12:45 PM
2

Wow thank you all for the replies. I was given the option of leaving some of my cash with the home as an investment. Not sure I want to do that, but it is an option. My main concern is being forced to wait 12 months before a lender will allow me to borrow for a property.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 04:01 AM
1

Thank you. Great list. I will refocus my efforts on making some new memories. It’s just weird because right after my boys moved out the separation began. I have always identified with being a husband and father, and my world changed overnight. When the average woman is 21 they want the wedding and family package, ring, house, kids et .. and we provide that and then 20 years later when the kids move out, the good and decent men are in this position to figure out life. I read these stories every d…
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 09:54 PM
1

Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 09:46 PM
1

This is my life rn.. Married 28y and I am filing for divorce because the stbx started the party life all over again right around the time our boys moved out of the house. I saw red flags for months and finally said enough is enough. Fellow men, watch for the red flags and move on when your boundaries are crossed and you are no longer number one in her life.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 02:31 PM
3

I second that. No More Mr Nice Guy is a game changer. I am going through a divorce and it opened my eyes to becoming an integrated man. It’s not a book about being a jerk. It’s the opposite. Dr Grover teaches men how to live an abundant life and be great and decent men and get your needs met.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 06:46 PM
1

Maybe. She said there wasn’t someone else but I may never know. Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 06:43 PM
1

I am filing, but she showed me with her actions and behavior, that she had checked out initially.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 06:40 PM
2

Thank you I will. I wish you the best.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 05:03 PM
2

I would encourage you to not think about the “what ifs” and start going out when you have time. You can walk up and talk to women anywhere. Or from my experience check out the live band scene in your area, and walk right up to a woman and ask her to dance. They love to dance and it’s a great way to meet. Most men are afraid and when you do this, they feel your energy and it’s attractive. Then dance, say thanks and go back to your table. Don’t linger. If you feel it, go back and talk or dance aga…
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 03:23 AM
2

Yes and yes I have been honest and told her about my new friend. And the new friend is aware of my situation and I keep it slow and chill. So it was also weird hearing my wife say life is too short, go be happy. I remind myself everyday that she checked out, thus I am moving on. I tried for a very long time to find answers. Menopause, a new job, her new friends, and dozens of happy hours without an invite, incidentally none of them have a strong marriage. I call her married friends “single but m…
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 03:09 AM
3

YES BROTHER that’s the winning attitude that will launch you. Take time to heal, workout and get after it. There are women out there that are into intimacy and want it as much as men do. Keep grinding.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 12:05 AM
1

Thank you. Good luck to you too.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 11:56 PM
1

This book has helped me a lot. It’s a must read for men. It’s also in audiobook format.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 02:59 PM
1

No man. Many of us feel the exact pain you are experiencing, and even though we haven’t met you in person we care about you! There’s so much good advice here for you. You’re young, and you have value. Try to change your perspective on one thing here.. while this door may have closed, there are several doors waiting for you to open and have an abundance of women to choose from, when you are emotionally ready. Do things others have said and start now. Journaling, get Al those thoughts on paper. It…
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 02:54 PM
2

Wow glad I am not alone here. Just hit our 28 year last month, and been separated since November last year. I am filing. It sucks but she started living her own life with her friends and I was not part of it. My counselor has helped me remove the “guilt” feelings and replace them with regret. That is helping me learn and be better going forward. We all can somehow learn from this. We can regret things didn’t work out or that we didn’t do enough of this or that.. But it takes two to nurture a mar…
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/23 09:51 PM
2

Move forward, not back. Don’t expel negative energy by giving the other guy proof. Set boundaries for yourself i.e. no effing around with her, maintain communication only as it relates to parenting, etc. You can be kind and helpful if you want. Be you, not someone else. Make yourself happy.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/23 06:57 PM
3

I feel that too. Staying in a mediocre situation is safe and familiar. I feel sort of paralyzed with indecision.. not knowing or deciding what the right path forward is always on my mind.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 11:07 PM
1

This book is a life changer for sure. There is an abundance of nice women out there. Find yourself and be confident and go meet some people.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 12:36 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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