Separated for 6 months while living in the same house. Married 27 yrs. Been empty nesters for one year. I am moving to an apartment this week. I noticed her withdrawn and non affectionate behaviors all last year and began working on myself. The wife totally changed with menopause and a new high profile job. She went on many girl trips, happy hours several times a week with women and men she works with, got a tattoo with her gf, worked out constantly, and ignored my intimacy proposals. She would go on bike rides or hikes by herself, which she never did in the past. It was always us. I felt disrespected and alone when she spoke of her excitement when planning future trips with other women. I never envisioned this to happen after our kids moved out of the house. I was devastated a year ago. I’m strong now. For many years I felt under appreciated and sexually non desired. She never expressed a sexual desire for me whether via touch, text or saying it with words. I felt that and this failed to give her plenty of affection. I know and admit my faults. If her flaws come up she responds “I’m not the right person for you.” Initially I made attempts to fix things. Then I changed my mindset..My first counselor tried to turn me into a pussy. He literally told me to tell her that I was jealous. I thought that if someone would rather spend all their free time with others then let them. I quickly left that unattractive weak nonsense and revisited a trusted counselor from previous. So fast forward to now.. I have studied No More Mr Nice Guy and learned so much about myself. My boundary’s have been set and I am leaving the house as a first step in making myself whole. I also met someone who aligns with me on so many levels, and knows and understands what I am going through. I keep some restrictions as I want to be whole before dating 100%. Before someone calls me out for cheating, my wife told me months ago to go meet someone and be happy. Crazy huh. What does all this sound like to you? My close friends wonder what I have been waiting around so long for. The levels of respect, admiration, physical desire that I am finding now are everything I have been missing in my marriage. My wife and I have agreed that something is missing and we have felt like roommates for a long time. It’s still hard nonetheless, letting go. I have needs and life is too short to feel this way.

Any advice is welcome. Have any of you ever realized that being friends and living separate lives is the best way to move forward? I would like to hear from you.

BTW- There was never any cheating or abuse in my marriage. Just two people who don’t have a lot of chemistry or things we enjoy doing together.