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Bartholomew_Risky Archive

View 7 posts and 58 comments by Bartholomew_Risky on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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0

I really like your take on dating and energies. This is almost definitely the best post I've read on this sub. Would you be able to help me so I can figure this whole dating thing out? I'm really big on meditation so I really do understand what you're saying because mindfulness works on the same principal. the problem is that I can't seem to let go of my expectations when it comes to women. It's like I can talk to a woman and be expectant, in which case I'll fail to get anywhere, or I'll notice …
/r/seduction23/01/17 08:53 AM
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I like the concept and I agree that it fits in many places, but it wouldn't help me with say... Learning an instrument. I'm already comfortable not trying to impress people by talking, but in order to get a date I need to be able to make conversation quickly and effectively. I think of that as a skill just like learning an instrument. Sorry if I was unclear about the nature of my problem, it isn't that I don't like the way I communicate in general. I'm not particularly stressed about how I talk …
/r/seduction08/11/16 09:55 PM
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I don't follow meditation as traditionally as others might. I personally believe that while equanimity is a very powerful tool for internal growth there are times when it is best to indulge in certain aspects of existence as well. I don't know how equanimity will serve to make me a better conversationalist, though I'm open to hearing about it if you can explain it for me
/r/seduction08/11/16 08:14 PM
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I agree completely, I have full faith in mindfulness and meditation. It seems though that when I try to be more mindful during conversation I become even less talkative :/
/r/seduction08/11/16 04:02 PM
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Thanks for the suggestion, I actually have no trouble introducing myself to strangers it's just that the conversation which follows is never meaningful in any way. It feels boring to me and I'm sure it's boring for them too
/r/seduction08/11/16 03:27 PM
2

First off, hang a reminder in your room so that in 2 weeks after you start, you're still coming face to face with your goals every day. Next you should realize that daily meditation is an absolute essential. Not only will it help you train your discipline, but it will make you more tolerant of uncomfortable situations. As you become more in tune with your mind, it will also help you track your progress because you'll notice minor differences in your behavior that you may not see otherwise. On to…
/r/seduction08/09/16 11:16 PM
1

If these people are your friends, then start acting like it. Being alpha is about being confident and comfortable. Imagine a king surrounded by muscular guards that will do anything to protect him. Even though he isn't the most physically strong in that situation, he has the most control and he is the alpha. Your friends should be on your team making you feel more confident and in control because you know you have backup whenever you need it. If you view them as competition instead of allies, yo…
/r/seduction08/09/16 07:20 PM
1

Hell yeah it is ;)
/r/seduction06/09/16 11:15 PM
2

I mean, we still can if you would like :P
/r/seduction05/09/16 10:11 PM
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You're right. There is a difference between being open to being hit on and hitting on someone. I concede.
/r/seduction05/09/16 06:06 PM
1

Agreed
/r/seduction05/09/16 06:05 PM
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Actually women Do look around the room for men they find attractive, they just have vastly different criteria than men. 90% of our opinion of someone is formed within the first 4 minutes of meeting them. They are far better at reading body language so they look at things like posture, clothing, and minuet details in the face that give them indications into how confident you are and how much power you hold. Also just a fun fact, it's been shown that men are JUST as emotional as women. Because sho…
/r/seduction05/09/16 05:34 PM
2

Don't over think it. Anytime someone (especially women) makes the underside of their wrist clearly visible to you it means they are willing to be submissive towards you. That doesn't mean they always will be, it just means in that very moment they are. Showing you their wrist especially when you're in close proximity makes it easy to grab which would let you take advantage of them. This doesn't mean they want you to do that, but they aren't worried about you doing it either otherwise they wouldn…
/r/seduction05/09/16 12:54 AM
2

I didn't read the book purely for the purpose of game. And trueth be told you can't control most of your body language from moment to moment. I use it more for building good body language habits and especially for being able to read how others are feeling. On both those counts it has been working well for me.
/r/seduction05/09/16 12:44 AM
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This IS women hitting on men. And at statistics of 90% (assuming that it's true) men who hit on these women without the signal are getting rejected 9/10 times
/r/seduction04/09/16 10:07 PM
1

If she said no and kept oggling you afterwards, she was either caught off guard by your approach and instinctively said no, or she thought you were a threat and wanted to keep her eyes on you. I don't know you so hopefully this won't be offensive but you should really admit it to yourself if you did something to appear threatening because that's a huuuuuge no go for women and a lot of guys don't realize how threatening they appear. Anyways, I recommend that everyone trying to improve there socia…
/r/seduction04/09/16 05:25 PM
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True. If you have to do it, appear as non-threatening as possible. Smile big and show your palms immediately after so she knows you aren't a threat.
/r/seduction04/09/16 05:13 PM
0

You should tell him before you leave and see what he says in response. Weather or not he's with her, he's almost certainly still tied to her emotionally. 4 years takes a lot to get over. Even if she's more important to you than he is, it's not cool to throw him under the bus and since you aren't going to be around for a while anyways there's no point trying to make things work until logistics are better.
/r/seduction04/09/16 04:28 PM
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"the definitive book of body language" is a wonderful read for anyone trying to learn about nonverbal. It will help you recognise just what you're dealing with when watching videos
/r/seduction04/09/16 04:17 PM
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Flirt with everyone. Guys, girls, your grandma. You'll stop missing opportunities and soon enough you'll learn when good times to flirt are
/r/seduction04/09/16 04:07 PM
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In that case, the book has another tip for you. Don't approach women from behind, it's threatening to them. Approach them head on or from the side.
/r/seduction04/09/16 04:00 PM
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This is a really good point, thank you for bring this up. For myself personally, I probably will rely on this simply because I have no interest in picking up several girls a week. I just want something to keep things fun every once in a while so waiting for them to flirt with me works just fine. If I ever feel like really getting into the pua life, I'll be sure to change tactics.
/r/seduction04/09/16 03:53 PM
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Oh cool! Philosophy, coding, and reading are pretty much my favorit things to do. I think what has worked for me will work for you because we seem pretty similar. So. The two problems you seem to have are your body language and your anxiety. Let me address them separately. For the body language problem most people recognise that how you feel comes out in your body language. If you're feeling anxious or afraid or even if you're just in a bad mood, most people will be able to look at you and tell.…
/r/seduction04/09/16 05:34 AM
3

A lot of guys will get angry and call them sluts/whores, "You'd be lucky to have me", make them feel guilty ect... Or if they just don't like dealing with confrontation in general, it can be pretty hard to actually reject someone. I think it's shitty that they don't tell you, but those are some reasons why.
/r/seduction04/09/16 05:06 AM
1

This sounds like she's signalling that she's sexually unavailable. making eye contact doesn't mean very much, just that she isn't particularly afraid of you.
/r/seduction20/05/16 01:07 AM
1

Don't do this if you're trying to flirt with them, looking at their forehead is aggressive, not flirtatious. If you're in a conversation look somewhere in the triangle between their eyes and lips.
/r/seduction20/05/16 01:02 AM
2

Abundance mentality doesn't only have to apply to girls. It doesn't matter how many girls you're getting, what matters is that you feel your life is full of value. Recognise that you don't need a girl at all to be happy. It would be nice, but you've got plenty of other things going for you.
/r/seduction23/04/16 05:34 AM
1

You say that the new you is confident and alpha, but you also say you're being a bully. These two things don't have to be the same. I'm much more confident in myself than most people around me, but I love to make people happy. To reconcile the two, you have to CHOOSE to make other people happy. Do it because you want to, not because you feel you have to. It seems you need to learn the art of accepting who you are. It is possible to change yourself, but I prefer to become the best version of who …
/r/seduction23/04/16 05:28 AM
-1

Instead of preforming for her, let her preform for you.
/r/seduction21/04/16 11:07 PM
1

Oh, well congrats man
/r/seduction20/04/16 11:22 PM
1

She didn't give it to you then?
/r/seduction20/04/16 07:39 PM
1

Make sure you are using kino. If you don't know what that is, start there. But even as you escalate kino, until you get really good at it, it's probably not going to naturally progress to kissing. You just have to choose a time and go for it. As long as you made it clear that it's a date, they're almost certainly hoping to kiss you as well. Very few people want to go on a date and not do anything romantic.
/r/seduction20/04/16 06:25 PM
3

I like the theory behind it a lot. In acting (and remember, all of life is a stage. We are always acting.) there is something called "the method". It's basically the idea that in order to produce genuine looking scenes, instead of micromanaging every little thing you're doing, you focus on making yourself feel a certain way. If you need to preform a scene where you break down crying, you're gonna have to really make yourself feel totally helpless. This book applies that theory to every day life …
/r/seduction20/04/16 06:14 PM
1

Conversations can be good with a lot of topics to discuss, but when you get to know someone you have to make your conversations deep. Really try to understand them if you want a connection. Ask about their dreams and their passions. But don't just stop with learning what they are, find out what they like about it, find out what sent them on the path towards those goals. Just really try to understand.
/r/seduction20/04/16 06:05 PM
1

You can learn to be okay with rejection by developing a deep respect for things that are more important than a single girls desire to fuck you or not. If your whole life is about getting girls, or getting a girl, it becomes increasingly dangerous for you to put it all on the line. If you've got other shit going on then you'll be able to take the rejection and move on no big deal. it isn't risking your whole life anymore, just that small part of it.
/r/seduction20/04/16 05:56 PM
2

The charisma myth. I don't remember the authors name off the top of my head, but the book is about how anyone can learn to be charismatic. It goes into what charisma is exactly and how to have more of it.
/r/seduction20/04/16 05:41 PM
1

So am I. You're going about this the wrong way. There is always going to be fear. It's not about learning to be without fear, it's about having the fear and learning to do it anyways.
/r/seduction20/04/16 03:13 AM
2

If getting your self esteem damaged is not an option for you then the short answer is that you don't compliment her. If you want to improve yourself you should get really comfortable being uncomfortable. That's not to say she'll reject you, but you've got to be willing to deal with it if she does.
/r/seduction20/04/16 02:57 AM
1

The biggest one is using strong eye contact. When you lock eyes with someone, holding strong eye contact is a show of dominance and I almost always feel more dominant. Another one is to take up a lot of space. If you keep a very wide, open posture you'll begin to feel more like you own your surroundings. This one I haven't noticed make me more confident, but it's one of my favorit displays of confidence. Invade another males personal space. Don't be a dick about it, unless you're looking for a f…
/r/seduction18/04/16 05:34 AM
2

I have no proof for you except anecdotal evidence. The most clear confidence boost is when I make eye contact with someone and they look away first (a sign of submissiveness) I will feel more confident. I think it happened because if people see you as being confident, then they'll respond by being more submissive to you (or more respectful, depending) and if more people are being respectful and submissive, you're naturally going to start feeling powerful.
/r/seduction18/04/16 03:06 AM
1

I think you're dating the wrong people my friend. If they're hitting you with an intention to hurt you, tell them with as much conviction as you can to stop. If they do it again, leave and don't look back. I don't know your situation so I can't say exactly why they're hitting you, but it may be because you're somehow telling them that you'll put up with it. Weather you have a submissive attitude, you're too eager to do whatever they want or that they've said something mean and you didn't stand u…
/r/seduction17/04/16 10:04 PM
1

I don't know your situation as well as you, but I know I regretted ditching my best friend. Being honest with yourself is super important in this situation. Is she really your best friend, or is she a love interest disguised as a friend. In my case, she really was my best friend so I still have her in my life. If she's just a love interest, I'd say to leave.
/r/seduction17/04/16 08:36 PM
1

I've read a few. Personally I consume books like drinking water and none of the books I read were particularly well formated or took any unique perspectives though the information was good. I wasn't really recommending a book, just a subject of study, but if you insist on knowing exactly what I read: what every body is saying by Joe Navarro love signals by David Givens emotions revealed by Paul Ekman the charisma myth by Olivia Fox Cabane the definitive book of body language by Allan and Barbara…
/r/seduction17/04/16 07:44 PM
2

There are literally hundreds of books on body language and almost all of them will be helpful. This post wasn't meant to be a guide to body language. This post was meant to give some direction as to where someone might want to focus their self improvement efforts. I told you where to find the treasure, I don't feel I have to dig it up for you.
/r/seduction17/04/16 11:45 AM
1

I'm in the same boat. I was in love with my best friend for far too long (almost 3 years). I stopped talking to her for a few months because of it and I regret it. We're friends again now and I still have feelings for her come up from time to time, but I realized that honestly... I DON'T want to be with her. One thing that may help you get over her that I've been doing is that I'll wright love notes to her and then get rid of them. Getting the emotions down in writing can be a huge emotional rel…
/r/seduction17/04/16 11:09 AM
2

Another thing you should realize is that it's a lot easier to show interest in a girl if you already know that she's aware that you're interested. As long as you think it's still a secret, part of you is gonna want to keep it that way.
/r/seduction17/04/16 10:36 AM
1

Try to lower the stakes. You're acting like every single time you fuck up you're just confirming that you're incapable of moving farther. That's a hell of a lot of pressure. with that much pressure on yourself, of course you didn't have the balls to go for it. I think what you really need to do is learn to accept failure. Yeah, you failed, now get out there and do it again.
/r/seduction17/04/16 05:31 AM
1

Okay, so the people that are telling you to break right after she breaks are talking about when you first make eye contact with her, before you've even said a word. Looking away first shows submission, holding eye contact shows dominance. I was talking about while you're in the middle of a conversation with her. During a conversation, how much eye contact you use depends on whether you are speaking or listening. While listening most people will be looking at the speaker about 60-80% of the time.…
/r/seduction08/04/16 07:04 PM
1

Looking between the eyebrows might give an outsider the illusion that you're looking them in the eye, but both of you will know you're not. Looking them in the eye can be really intense. Eyebrow not so much. Also you shouldn't look away just because she breaks eye contact, especially if she's speaking. But you should look away for a second or two every now and then. While you're speaking you should make eye contact when you want the moment to be more intense. Most of the time you can look away w…
/r/seduction08/04/16 05:46 PM
1

Generally if they are still friends after the breakup (and I mean they're actually friends, they're comfortable hanging out without tension ect) and you've let some time pass, it'll be fine.
/r/seduction08/04/16 05:41 PM
1

Go for quantity, when you're picking them up, go for quality only once you start dating.
/r/seduction07/04/16 04:02 AM
1

Get a book on body language. Especially one that deals with flirting and courtship.
/r/seduction05/04/16 11:50 PM
1

I'm new to this whole pickup thing so hopefully this is helpful. This type of mental block can happen in a bunch of situations. What I do is I accept that i've already messed up and I have no more chance of recovery, so fuck it I might as well own it and enjoy what's left of the night. It takes the pressure off and I usually end up making a recovery. And if I don't, well I enjoyed it.
/r/seduction05/04/16 06:40 AM
1

I honestly, don't know how they got that number but I got the number from my interpersonal communication class.
/r/seduction04/04/16 03:23 PM
4

The problem is almost definitely not the words you use. 70% of communication is non verbal. It's the way you say it and it's the messages you project with body language that are putting them off. If you feel relaxed and confident then your body language will change to match it and you'll have better luck.
/r/seduction01/04/16 11:21 PM
4

What you're experiencing is known as a self fulfilling prophecy. You believe that no one is going to be interested in you so when you see signs of interest, you ignore them cause you already expect not to get any. You've set yourself up in your mind as someone who doesn't know how to turn interactions into romantic interactions, so you don't make an effort to do so. Then having made no effort to show romantic interest you evaluate the situation and say, "see I didn't do it again. I'm no good at …
/r/seduction21/02/16 04:04 AM
1

If you're happy with how you are then it shouldn't matter, just go on being happy. But then why would you be asking for advice if you're already happy where you are?
/r/seduction03/02/16 08:04 AM
1

If you're coming at this from an angle where taking time off is how you're trying to improve your over attachment problem, i don't think taking time off from women is such a bad idea. Although that alone will almost certainly do nothing to fix your problem. I also used to get way too attached when it came to dating, what helped me a lot was meditation. Meditation is learning to focus your attention so that you can observe your thoughts and emotions, rather than being driven by them. It helped me…
/r/seduction01/01/16 03:09 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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