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Blackmetalpenguin90 Archive

View 18 posts and 279 comments by Blackmetalpenguin90 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
713

Outer Game Blackmetalpenguin90/r/seduction15/12/21 10:31 PM
97

Inner Game Blackmetalpenguin90/r/seduction21/08/21 03:27 PM
53

Inner Game Blackmetalpenguin90/r/seduction23/01/22 10:03 AM
50

Outer Game Blackmetalpenguin90/r/seduction21/12/21 10:50 PM
28

Inner Game Blackmetalpenguin90/r/seduction01/08/21 02:25 PM
27

LifestyleBlackmetalpenguin90/r/seduction01/09/21 09:13 AM
24

Inner Game Blackmetalpenguin90/r/seduction10/11/21 06:23 PM
23

ComprehensiveBlackmetalpenguin90/r/seduction13/06/21 12:37 PM
20

Inner Game Blackmetalpenguin90/r/seduction06/07/21 03:05 PM
10

Inner Game Blackmetalpenguin90/r/seduction04/08/21 09:22 PM
9

Inner Game Blackmetalpenguin90/r/seduction23/01/22 02:28 PM
8

Inner Game Blackmetalpenguin90/r/seduction03/07/21 04:31 PM
4

Inner Game Blackmetalpenguin90/r/seduction06/08/21 11:11 AM
4

Escalation & CalibrationBlackmetalpenguin90/r/seduction16/01/22 02:30 PM
3

Inner Game Blackmetalpenguin90/r/seduction11/07/21 03:19 PM
2

ComprehensiveBlackmetalpenguin90/r/seduction11/07/21 07:15 PM
2

Inner Game Blackmetalpenguin90/r/seduction01/09/21 04:34 PM
0

ConversationBlackmetalpenguin90/r/seduction16/01/22 09:47 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

MaN iF YoU aRe a 38 yO mAlE YoU aRe A pEdO iF yOu DaTe AnYoNe yOuNgEr tHaN 49
/r/seduction01/05/24 09:55 PM
5

Lol, sometimes I'm dissatisfied with our economic conditions in Eastern Europe, but if this is what the West is like... God I'm grateful I live here
/r/seduction01/05/24 09:53 PM
6

Jesus Christ I'm so happy I live in Eastern Europe if in the West you are a creep if you want to date a 20something womam in your30s
/r/seduction01/05/24 09:50 PM
1

So use that sickness to improve, But I did. That was the past 7 years of my life. I improved myself more than anyone I know. But the prize didn't ever come. While guys around me who didn't improve themsleves half as much just found girlfriends without any fuss. It's fucking unfair
/r/seduction24/01/22 08:19 PM
2

Obviously you can't bum them out with a negative vibe or they won't wanna be with you Yeah that's the problem. That's what the thread is about
/r/seduction23/01/22 02:49 PM
4

Yeah but if you get humiliated time upon time upon time, you lose even the ability to show off those qualities, because you will expect to be humiliated already when you even approach someone
/r/seduction23/01/22 10:11 AM
1

I wasn't referring to the OP post, only this comment
/r/seduction22/01/22 03:04 PM
3

Which is more useful to believe tho?
/r/seduction22/01/22 02:11 PM
1

I once approached a girl in a shiny sequined dress at a costume party, with the intention of asking whether she was dressed as a disco ball. But I misspoke, and in our language, the words "disco" and "pig" only differ in a single letter, so I ended up asking her if she was a pig ball. There was a 2 second pause while she was considering throwing her drink in my face, then she burst out laughing and we hit off on a really good vibe. Insane shit like this can break the ice like nothing else.
/r/seduction22/01/22 02:07 PM
2

Look as long as you have to constantly think about what will work, it won't work. What works is not stressing out, because your mood doesn't depend on whether it works out with a given woman or not.
/r/seduction22/01/22 07:06 AM
2

Exactly. Problem is, the human mind doesn't work on statistics, it works on emotion. It's your job to rewire yourself.
/r/seduction21/01/22 09:56 PM
2

Maybe you love parts of yourself, but you clearly don't love yourself. And if you're anything like me, you won't be able to change this just by working on yourself alone. You'll need to find one or more communities you can really become part of. We learn to love ourselves through other people's eyes. Most of us with low self-esteem had our self-love broken by abusive parents or peers as children, and this can only change if you expose yourself to the same situation (becoming vulnerable before ot…
/r/seduction21/01/22 05:16 PM
1

That she's not very aggressive
/r/seduction21/01/22 05:13 PM
1

Unfortunately you're not going to improve as long as you think of yourself as ugly. You'll need to find the qualities you can like in yourself, and build a style, accentuating your strengths. As long as your subconscious is constantly engaged in self-loathing, this will taint all your interactions.
/r/seduction21/01/22 01:42 PM
1

Dude, not "it". "Her".
/r/seduction20/01/22 05:13 PM
2

I don't think 1 is true, though it may be reasonable to assume that very gym-focused women have a preference for the template buff gym guy. As for 2, well I would only approach a girl in the gym if she gave me clear IOIs. I think in general places where you display your body (gym, yoga, etc.) can easily be creepy. Though maybe if you can chat her up AFTER that's better.
/r/seduction19/01/22 09:08 PM
0

Sex
/r/seduction19/01/22 09:05 PM
2

How could I forget. Models is the best material ever because while it tells you a lot of nice-sounding stuff, it doesn't actually make you do anything. Models helped me be myself. I've been myself ever since.
/r/seduction19/01/22 02:50 PM
9

Don't forget to bring your sigma male grindset
/r/seduction19/01/22 01:08 PM
0

If that were the case I could just commit suicide right now
/r/seduction19/01/22 12:31 PM
7

Where do you live? Women don't just smile at people around here (Eastern Europe)
/r/seduction19/01/22 12:11 PM
0

I looked up the dictionary definition of "shy" for you. "nervous or timid in the company of other people." This is literally what unconfident means. If you say shy people are not unconfident it's like saying being week does not mean you're not strong.
/r/seduction19/01/22 11:20 AM
8

look for the ones you smile at you That would literally leave me with 0 opportunity.
/r/seduction19/01/22 11:16 AM
6

I'm honestly grateful I wasn't born in the West. The attitude of Western EU and USA girls based on their online activity is unimaginable in most Eastern EU countries for anyone save the most radical feminist activists, like it's a different world. It's not that women are submissive, in fact they are pretty confident and can be a challenge, but they are not snowflakes who can't handle a social situation without freaking out.
/r/seduction18/01/22 09:36 PM
27

I was mob-hated out of a thread because I said I couldn't understand why would a woman positively offer to give me her number and tell me she'd like to see me later, and then ghost on me. I was told in several forms that "she didn't owe me anything", and that I was "being a nice guy expecting her attention in return for my approach". That's just one example, you can see many more for yourself.
/r/seduction18/01/22 08:15 PM
10

How many hot girls have you been with in the past 1 year?
/r/seduction18/01/22 07:15 PM
1

Btw what does "eat 10 feet of your shot" mean?
/r/seduction16/01/22 07:59 PM
1

I think I'm the type that's somehow both of these at the same time lol
/r/seduction16/01/22 07:58 PM
2

I'm not saying it's hopeless for anyone, or that low esteem is suffering a unique and incurable disease, you're putting words in my mouth. I'm saying - and standing by it - that generic stuff like this doesn't help anyone. If you're ok with yourself, you don't need anyone to tell you what you just said, because it's blatantly obvious to anyone but a total retard. If you have emotional issues, however, this will do nothing for you.
/r/seduction16/01/22 03:12 PM
1

Thanks, I just wondered whether others were having the same experience or I'm just socially totally clueless lol
/r/seduction16/01/22 02:43 PM
17

That's only true of you have a more or less healthy self-esteem. If you feel like you're unattractive / a loser / a creep etc., than a rejection will just confirm your negative self-view. You won't feel bold, your mind will say "seee, I told you, you dumb loser". Generic advice like that simply doesn't work. People who have issues cannot solve them through a few sentences of "just do it bro".
/r/seduction16/01/22 02:36 PM
1

Here's an alternative: be who you want to be and who you feel comfortable being. And find someone who accepts that man.
/r/seduction15/01/22 12:37 PM
1

It's not about stopping wanking. I always find it laughable when people think that just by NOT wanking they'll somehow magically be more attractive to women. It's about living a live where wanking is just not the most interesting thing for you to do, because you're so engaged with other things. (Excessive) wanking is a symptomatic treatment for an overall problem, which is that your life is not interesting and fun enough. People who don't wank a lot and are good with women are good because they …
/r/seduction13/01/22 09:16 AM
1

Online dating
/r/seduction11/01/22 11:20 AM
1

A fact is not an excuse friend.
/r/seduction10/01/22 08:15 PM
0

Yeah, I agree that OLD is very unfair. 7.5 on photofeeler is not very good though. A good photo should get you at least to 8.5 (not criticising your looks, I don't know them, just saying to put photofeeler results into perspective). But I feel you, I'm not photogenic myself, even though I look pretty good in person I just can't pose and look "natural" in photos.
/r/seduction10/01/22 08:09 PM
2

Good for you. I rarely meet women I like naturally, so that's no option for me.
/r/seduction10/01/22 07:47 PM
2

Whatever gets you through the day chief
/r/seduction10/01/22 07:46 PM
7

Like what? I play music but I'm a studio musician. I sometimes go to musician meetups but they are mostly sausage fests too. Before covid I used to go hiking a lot. Sausage fests, and the few women were almost always subpar. I did improv classes for 4 months. In that time I saw ONE women I'd rate higher than a 5. I work out with weights so I'm not adding any group-type training to that. So, what else? Because I'm really over wasting my time with stuff I'm marginally interested in for nothing.
/r/seduction10/01/22 07:41 PM
1

OLD comes down to pictures, which is still not = looks. It's a huge factor, but the lifestyle portrayed in the pictures is a very important factor too. But in normal life, you can get by with decent looks (granted, below average guys have it tough).
/r/seduction10/01/22 07:37 PM
3

That's only if you play the numbers game. If you learn to read availability signs and IOIs, that success rate can be much higher.
/r/seduction10/01/22 07:35 PM
4

which shows that you joined not because you genuinely want to dance but because you wanted something else Of course. I don't give a fuck about dancing. That's just what I said above. I can't think of a hobby I'm interested in that has a lot of women in it.
/r/seduction10/01/22 06:51 PM
0

Bullshit I suppose you know what I'm interested in more than I do then Btw. I started attending a dance class 2 years ago. I quit after a month because on every occasion there were 4-5 more men than women, and sometimes men were left to DANCE WITH EACH OTHER, yeah my ass
/r/seduction10/01/22 06:20 PM
24

"Pick a hobby that is gender balanced or has more women" "it should be a hobby you genuinely like" The common subset of these two is literally non-existent.
/r/seduction10/01/22 04:55 PM
49

Yeah. But in addition, it's not even true. I know guys who are very social, and are in fact organisers of some kind of group, and are consequently around girls all the time, yet they basically never get laid or date. I also know guys who barely leave their house and get dates all the time (though mainly from OLD). Being around women and being with women are two compeltely different things.
/r/seduction10/01/22 02:35 PM
24

So he had sex with you after all? xD
/r/seduction10/01/22 02:29 PM
327

Yeah, I tried the "let's be very social" thing. Fact is, I rarely met any women who were single and reasonably attractive, as almost all social circles are sausage fests where any prettyish girl will be pulled out of the market in minutes. It's a bunch of work and time, spent doing activities I'm not that interested in, with people I'm also not that interested in, just to occasionally have a shot with an ok girl. It's not worth it. Cold approach takes 3 minutes of my life and I don't have to man…
/r/seduction10/01/22 02:07 PM
1

All of these, but I'm by no means "done"
/r/seduction09/01/22 10:13 AM
3

You are right. These issues don't have easy answers and people who didn't have to go through them don't even really understand them. You can only really empathise with people whose life situation you already experienced. Others, you can have sympathy for and realise how bad they have it, but you lack the reference experience to feel yourself in their position, and you just can't empathise with them. So in short I'd only ask for advice in these matters from people who went through them and then g…
/r/seduction08/01/22 06:00 AM
3

Well there are a few ways but change never takes place overnight. For example you can read about Buddhist philosophy, mindfulness, cognitive-behavioural therapy. Whatever method(s) you choose the important thing is to realise you will have to train (and decondition) your mind continuously, and not expect to "be done with it" just because you read an insightful book. Lessons learned only stay with you if you continously apply them in your life.
/r/seduction08/01/22 05:53 AM
63

The problem with insecure men is that they constantly second-guess themselves. Yes, looks matter, yes, more women will be attracted to you if you fit one of the popular stereotypes, yes, all that stuff has an effect on your chances. But let's imagine whenever you got a rejection you could instantly forget it, like it never happened. What would happen then? You would not have a problem with taking a shot at any number of women, and after a while (probably sooner than you'd now expect) find one wh…
/r/seduction07/01/22 12:34 PM
1

Can you point out exactly what you don't agree with IN WHAT I WROTE?
/r/seduction06/01/22 01:09 PM
1

Did you understand anything of what I wrote?
/r/seduction06/01/22 12:09 PM
1

What if he has fun reading books at home though? How, exactly, will women notice him while he's doing that?
/r/seduction03/01/22 10:07 AM
11

The problem with the "work on yourself" part is that it alone will never get you anywhere. There's no magical finish line where you're suddenly "good enough" and a girl will be given to you for all your hard work. I think in a certain sense these things can even hinder you, in terms that due to all your achivements, you build up the ego of "all right, now I DESERVE a hot girl", which only leads to avoidance, because you don't want to enter any situation where someone may reject you. You'll have …
/r/seduction03/01/22 10:06 AM
2

I don't really know, mine always stays home when I go out
/r/seduction03/01/22 09:09 AM
1

If you're good-looking enough to have success on apps, IRL you can get basically anyone.
/r/seduction28/12/21 09:14 PM
1

5'9 / 177
/r/seduction26/12/21 09:05 AM
1

Well I wouldn't date a fat girl either, and not because of health reasons, but because it's unattractive to me. So it's not that I'm any better. It's just life, nature tells us who is worth propagating our genes with.
/r/seduction26/12/21 09:05 AM
17

Exactly. If you fit her ideals she'll be rooting for you to actually fit that ideal. If you don't, she'll be rooting for you to get lost.
/r/seduction25/12/21 05:23 PM
89

"When they reject you, it’s not because they enjoy it, or because they have a big ego, or because you’re too short or your muscles aren’t big enough…" Dude when I asked the last girl I met why she rejected me, she said because I was not tall enough.
/r/seduction25/12/21 04:12 PM
294

Isn't this a quote from Mark Manson's Models?
/r/seduction25/12/21 04:10 PM
1

I'm not very familiar with USA living costs, but I assume 2k per months is on the low end there. Assuming that, yeah probably earning 5 times that would make some difference.
/r/seduction25/12/21 01:34 PM
1

I'm not a "wealthy" guy by any means, but compared to my country's standards I'm in the top 3-4% of earners. My experience has been that the only differences this makes compared to making average or less money is that you can afford more interesting activities to do with a girl. Probably if you are top 0.1% it's a very different world, but at reasonable levels where most of us are I don't think it makes much of a difference.
/r/seduction25/12/21 12:46 PM
5

I'd like to believe 7 but honestly this has not been my experience. The first interactions feel literally like work, especially online. Very good-looking girls are really passive in my experience.
/r/seduction23/12/21 07:59 PM
0

Sure I agree. I'm just saying what caused a noticeable improvement for me.
/r/seduction22/12/21 12:52 PM
-1

Do you think it unreasonable that you could get significantly better with the first 15 seconds of interacting with someone (which is the point of this post) in a matter of that time?
/r/seduction22/12/21 12:39 PM
1

I think I phrased step 1 in a way that leaves room for misunderstanding, so I edited the post. But what you should consider is that the problem of the vast majority of guys is that they go in too meekly, not that they are too threatening, because they are already afraid of acting confidently. So I think for MOST guys, it's better to act a little more firmly than they'd usually do, because the usual is "meek sales guy trying to half-assedly sell me something" vibe.
/r/seduction22/12/21 11:45 AM
1

I admit that's one of the most difficult parts for me too. I'd say maybe do what RaideNGo recommended, and also don't worry about all points at the same time. Get used to them one by one, and always concentrate on one at a time.
/r/seduction22/12/21 11:37 AM
1

If you want stats it's a bit too early to tell, but I've been getting non-flakey contact info for every 1 in 4 girl. But on an anecdotal level I started to notice an instant change of dynamics as soon as I started to consciously implement these things. Girls would treat me less like an annyoing salesman and more like a Man.
/r/seduction22/12/21 11:34 AM
-8

I posted that one girl gave me this feedback. I saw that girl 2 times and considering her as a friend. Why can't I give out advice based on other experiences I had?
/r/seduction22/12/21 07:35 AM
2

Yeah sure but you have no control over that anyway. It's pointless to consider things that are outside your control.
/r/seduction21/12/21 11:12 PM
3

I understand but you should also understand that if we want to grow and form relationships we have to give up some of our comfort and peek out of our shell. Do you think men who approach women are comfortable the first 5, 50, or even 500 times they do it? No they aren't, or at least 99% of them, but they do it because they want the girl, and they are willing to take the risk for getting a shot over comfort and being stuck how they are. And you don't even have to do that. You just have to get rid…
/r/seduction21/12/21 11:10 PM
11

I'm always astonished how girls who do everything they can to subcommunicate "don't talk to me" are then surprised that no one talks to them
/r/seduction21/12/21 11:01 PM
1

To everyone calling OP arrogant etc, I think you misunderstand where he is coming from and you've yet to experience the psyche of someone living with low self-esteem. OP wants the same things that you and that are natural desires of every human being: connection with someone they are attracted to. The reason people with low self-esteem will list their good qualities and achievements in a context like this is not that they are arrogant. It's that inside they feel so unworthy of the fulfilment of …
/r/seduction19/12/21 01:06 PM
5

Exceptions don't make a rule. I think most of us men have experienced that in general, single moms' priorities change, because most of the time their emotional needs start to lean more towards stability than excitement. There's nothing wrong with that, but OP and most young men want someone to validate them because they are sexy, not because they are reliable.
/r/seduction19/12/21 12:58 PM
1

Tbh these just make me lean more and more towards not giving a fuck about what's "acceptable". I'm going to live my life and you deal with it babe sorry.
/r/seduction18/12/21 11:01 AM
1

You can totally be analytical and rational (I am too) and still be unboring. She didn't say I was boring. In fact she explicitly said I'm very interesting to talk to. Just not "sexy" interesting. But I think you misunderstand me a bit. I'm not trying to get with this girl. I just asked for her input.
/r/seduction16/12/21 09:07 PM
2

Yeah that's pretty accurate. I'm very responsible and disciplined. That's how I was raised and I feel like a slacker if I don't hold myself to high standards in all areas of my life. I'm not "spontaneous" and "adventurous" at all. I'm analytical and rational. Tbh I don't really know how to change these.
/r/seduction16/12/21 07:53 PM
2

Yeah I'm planning to take up both. I've been meditating for a while but just taught myself so I'll take a TM course.
/r/seduction16/12/21 07:48 PM
2

let your hips relax. lots of people look like they've got a stick up their but and that causes a lot of stiffness. look at a video of a movie star walking and you'll see what I mean Man, I was meditating a few hours ago and obv. this shit was on my mind and you know what entered my mindstream? I pictured how a Hollywood guy would move, and the hip looseness was the exact thing that I noted in my mind.
/r/seduction16/12/21 07:42 PM
1

It's more in your energy around a girl, holding strong yet flirty eye contact, change your voice tonality to a more sexual vibe, touch her when it's appropriate, etc. Thanks, that'll probably be something I'll need to work on.
/r/seduction16/12/21 07:36 PM
2

Lol, she could have me any day
/r/seduction16/12/21 07:35 PM
6

Yeah
/r/seduction15/12/21 10:44 PM
78

Yeah but that's just it, I've studied these things a lot. In fact I think the fact she thinks I'm "stiff" is because I'm always paying attention to my posture, and it probably feels "artificial"
/r/seduction15/12/21 10:37 PM
2

I'm a male sub and I have no idea why I got to be like that. When I was about 10-11 I started to fantasise about how hot it would be if I were a slave to a queen, and it stayed with me ever since.
/r/seduction15/12/21 09:43 PM
1

I'm based in Budapest too. Tbh I've heard about him but I remember Krauser calling him out as a fraud. But I'll check up on him.
/r/seduction15/12/21 09:37 AM
1

I built up my daygame using Krauser's stuff but by now I've left the schematics behind. If by guy you mean someone to coach me in person, unfortunately not, I live in Eastern Europe and there aren't any good local coaches here.
/r/seduction15/12/21 08:42 AM
2

Tried Tinder during the first quarantine. Got a few dates but never with girls I'd have considered for a girflriend (those didn't even match with me). I mostly CA but like once a week, because I just feel jaded and tired. I've been through it so many times I can't count.
/r/seduction14/12/21 10:18 PM
2

I'm 31 and this has been going on for 6 years. Not sure where to grow out of it
/r/seduction14/12/21 09:45 AM
5

I'm doing everything but I'm sexually and emotionally frustrated as fuck so I won't be "happy with myself" until I get these needs fulfilled. This is bullshit advice.
/r/seduction14/12/21 07:49 AM
6

That's the problem with generic BS advice. One time it's hit the gym bro, make money bro, be ambitious bro, then you do all that and next time is "well you can't be a papercut perfect guy bro, you have to live an adventurous life bro, you have to do crazy shit to tell stories about bro". People internalise all this bullshit and they end up in a place where they feel like they have to do every single fucking thing at the same time and it's still not enough. Truth is the only time you'll start to …
/r/seduction12/12/21 01:51 PM
0

"I think some aspects of feminism have had a negative effect on me and other men" Is that sarcasm?
/r/seduction09/12/21 09:35 PM
20

This is of course just personal and anecdotal, but my experience is is that modern city girls are very reserved about letting guys see them check them out, probably because they have to deal with a lot of people all the time. Most of the time when I get a clear IOI, it's a girl who's recently moved to the city from some rural town. I live in Eastern Europe btw.
/r/seduction06/12/21 08:23 AM
2

"The movie's motto is each man gets one shot, one opportunity, with the woman of his dreams, and this movie gives a lot of tips on how not to fuck it up." Well if you think like that you will certainly fuck it up. There's no "one" woman of your dreams. There are hundreds of thousands. No one is irreplaceable until you actually tie your lives together.
/r/seduction15/11/21 12:41 PM
1

I'd never recommend going into debt for it
/r/seduction15/11/21 07:44 AM
2

Well if there's a concrete plan in progress, i.e. you're saving money and you'll be able to get your own place in a few years, that can justify sacrifices (well, it's you who justifies anything for yourself, I'm just sharing my own perspective). But if it's more like "well, it's cheaper to just stay here, I don't know when I will be able to afford a house but we'll see what happens", that's a road to indefinite mommy hotel.
/r/seduction14/11/21 07:16 PM
11

That was the exact same situation I used to be in. Everything was done "sensibly" - the choice of university, accommodation, etc., all selected in a way so I wouldn't have to move out. Looking back at it now I realise this is not healthy. At that age one has to start to become independent from their parents. I know it hindered my path into adulthood pretty badly that I chose comfort over independence, with the same rationalisations as you.
/r/seduction14/11/21 03:56 PM
2

I understand and I'm not condemning you for it. It's absolutely your choice, and it may also be a rational choice. I'm just saying that nevertheless it will make things harder on the dating front.
/r/seduction14/11/21 03:45 PM
35

I get that. But even living with roommates around your age is much better and gives you a much more independent vibe than staying with parents. Until you move out you're going to feel like a child unconsciously.
/r/seduction14/11/21 03:23 PM
7

While my suggestion to OP is, similarly, to focus on being able to move out, I don't think just because someone doesn't live alone yet they shouldn't have the right to have sex or get a relationship. If that were the case most people couldn't start their sexual lives until they are well into their 20s.
/r/seduction14/11/21 02:25 PM
15

The joke's on you. It's his Telecaster.
/r/seduction14/11/21 02:23 PM
117

Well, I used to be in your situation, and my recommendation is to focus on moving out. Your entire self-image will change once you're not living the role of the "child" at your parents'.
/r/seduction14/11/21 02:22 PM
1

Sorry it says the post was removed by the mods
/r/seduction11/11/21 09:07 PM
1

Thanks
/r/seduction11/11/21 09:06 PM
1

Fortunately my country is pretty lenient. We have elections next year and most of the population is against lockdowns, so they don't want to lose popularity by doing it again. I have friends to go out with, though they are mostly in the same shoes.
/r/seduction11/11/21 09:06 PM
1

Can you link it please? Btw I'm not looking simply for more reading, that's why I specifically asked for ACTIONABLE resources. That give you a path of practice. IRL.
/r/seduction11/11/21 08:40 PM
1

This is pretty good
/r/seduction11/11/21 02:04 PM
1

Get fucked. I have no problems with courage. If I had I'd never have approached women.
/r/seduction11/11/21 01:48 PM
1

As I explained at other places, I'm pretty active and also pretty well-rounded as a person. This is my only lagging area. And no amount of knowledge, skills and achievements will make me feel like I deserve girls, because the issue is just not with that.
/r/seduction11/11/21 10:03 AM
1

I'm doing fine with Bolt Thrower and Behemoth at the moment
/r/seduction11/11/21 10:02 AM
1

Nope but I will take a look
/r/seduction11/11/21 10:01 AM
1

Which kind of therapy did you get?
/r/seduction11/11/21 09:58 AM
2

Yeah.. I've been looking for a good coach for years. But in my country (I live in Eastern Europe) there just aren't any. The ones I've been to were clowns. And I don't have the financial means to retain a coach from a Western country.
/r/seduction11/11/21 09:58 AM
2

Not a magic book, but one that has actionable plan. Something that gives you a set of activities, social exercises, etc. that you can complete in your own time. My problem with most books is that even though their contents are intellectually convincing, they don't really change anything, because my problems are not in the rational part of my mind.
/r/seduction10/11/21 09:01 PM
2

Thanks, will check.
/r/seduction10/11/21 08:37 PM
1

Yeah, 3 different ones. Now doing a 4th
/r/seduction10/11/21 08:36 PM
1

Yeah, I absolutely did, though I've been refraining from such sites for the past 2 years or so, I realised they weren't doing anything positive for me anymore. So you don't have resources to recommend? Because obviously you won't solve a problem I've been trying to for the past 12 years in a reddit thread.
/r/seduction10/11/21 08:17 PM
7

Dude. I've been hitting the gym for 5 years without a single week skipped. I'm also part of a university debate club, take yoga classes, go hiking every once in a while, and so on and so forth. It's so funny how people always suppose that if you're not confident you're probably sitting at home all day.
/r/seduction10/11/21 07:53 PM
1

Who do you think deserves pretty women? I forgot to respond to this. I'll give my gut level answer, not my rational one, since it's my emotional responses that we're talking about anyway. I feel like tall, big-boned, hairy guys deserve pretty women. That's it. My emotional side tells me that it's guys with these markers of high-T who deserve good-looking girls, and no amount of self-improvement can change that. Obviously I'm trying to rewrite these beliefs but it's hard. Rationally I know this i…
/r/seduction10/11/21 07:19 PM
1

Do you have any experiences with someone telling you that you don't deserve pretty women? Yes, that was about the first 20 years my life. I got this both from my peers who bullied me my entire childhood, and my parents, who put it in a way that "oh honey, those Barbie kind of girls are not good matches for you, you are not their type of guy. But it's not looks that make a women!" So they were basically telling me all the time to go for girls I was not even attracted to. Much has changed since th…
/r/seduction10/11/21 07:07 PM
0

So what if the first ones aren't that pretty or you don't get that far. The problem is that these successes don't do anything for my confidence or self-esteem. I did this and more. That's what I'm talking about. I picked up "meh" women, and I had dates with very hot women from cold approaching, some even successful, but it doesn't get integrated into my self-image. Before I started approaching I thought if I just once get to at least kiss a hot girl I met from cold approaching, I'll never be unc…
/r/seduction10/11/21 06:45 PM
2

"You will get confidence after you begin dating a pretty girl / girls." Exactly, that's what I think, but you need confidence to get a pretty girl. So there's the trap. "Confidence is not a prerequisite for dating pretty girls." That's where you are losing me. Maybe that's true for men who are exceptionally good looking or muscular, but I'm not that. I look good and stylish but I have very boyish features and a slim build. I'm constantly told I look 10 years younger than I am (I'm 31). For a hug…
/r/seduction10/11/21 06:35 PM
1

Yep, that describes most of my life. I was always improving myself, then when finally I mustered up the courage to approach someone and was rejected, I just postponed the whole thing again until I'm even better.
/r/seduction08/11/21 09:36 PM
2

Have you ever tried going on an adventure to another part of the world? Sometimes our ego becomes stunted in a bad state in our usual environment, and the shock provided by an entirely new and unfamiliar environment is needed before we can rebuild it.
/r/seduction08/11/21 03:24 PM
9

Well it really depends on your style. But for example I usually do things like, in the middle of her talking about something unrelated, I'll stare deep into her eye and compliment something about her looks (stay with the face at that point though lol). Just little sparks of sexual interest that spice up a normal friendly conversation and make it exciting. Too little of these and it's boring, too much and she'll feel like you only want to fuck her and probably move along.
/r/seduction07/11/21 03:02 PM
2

It will probably not be of much use because these things are subconscious, but I'll still tell you: it's only you who thinks you are the protagonist everywhere you go. Everyone is their own protagonist. No one gives a shit if you're by yourself somewhere or anything like that. They are minding their own business.
/r/seduction04/11/21 12:21 AM
11

Those who do that are just fishing for attention and when they get it they have everything they wanted from you so they stop making contact. Those who are actually interested in you don't disappear because you reciprocate.
/r/seduction03/11/21 08:50 AM
5

"You're hot" "YoU aRe NoT" If you think that's wit you're not only an asshole, you're pretty dumb too.
/r/seduction31/10/21 05:50 PM
22

Lol, a girl literally told me I should wear a sixpence a few days ago. I'm taking this as a sign.
/r/seduction27/10/21 01:23 PM
4

I'd ask for some brutally honest opinions from trusted friends or strangers, as well as for some advice on whether there's something that you could improve. While I think that most guys can be decent looking with a good fashion sense and a fit body, and that we can be attractive to women if we are comfortable with ourselves, I also know how hard it is to meet this last criterion if deep inside you think you are just unattractive. If that is the case, I'd suggest you see a therapist and talk to t…
/r/seduction27/10/21 01:13 PM
4

I don't want to be that guy, but I think above a certain level (i.e. above decent fitness) it's mostly due to self-suggestion. For example I started leaning down 5 weeks ago, and I lost 5 kg, but I now look worse because I'm too skinny - it's just a strategic thing to let me bulk longer. Yet, during this month I noticed (and acted upon) way more approach signals than before.
/r/seduction08/10/21 12:31 PM
0

Soo.. I should start doing things I haven't the remotest farthest flying fucklet of interest in just to attract some shallow girls who can't think beyond seeing a man on a yacht? Thanks, I'll pass.
/r/seduction27/09/21 09:39 PM
1

Fuck mate. First I read "How to have sex with your parents", and I was like WTF???
/r/seduction26/09/21 10:32 AM
2

You sure try to convince us that you've "accepted" your fate, but it's very obvious that you want change, you just don't believe in it.
/r/seduction15/09/21 04:29 PM
5

Yeah but for most people it will be like that. It's easier to become someone in society than to build a self-esteem out of nothing
/r/seduction08/09/21 11:38 AM
13

Yeah, that's bullshit. Whenever a therapist told me s/he wanted to make me accept myself for who I am I just left. That's not how humans work. Self-esteem is something you acquire through overcoming challenge, though I admit these challenges don't necessarily have to be social or work-related.
/r/seduction08/09/21 11:15 AM
73

If think you left out a step. Unemployment, no social circle and no interesting activities = You feel worthless = social death sentence and instant repellant to women
/r/seduction08/09/21 10:56 AM
1

I've been working out for 4 years without any breaks but confidence-wise it didn't have any effect on me.
/r/seduction07/09/21 03:58 PM
2

All of them
/r/seduction04/09/21 05:25 PM
1

Not trying to tailor my game. Just trying to make sense of whether those articles do not apply to me because of something I'm doing wrong (or I myself am not good enough), or it's just a different environment.
/r/seduction03/09/21 09:18 AM
1

Yes, I have a negative self-image. And I have already sunk a shit ton of money and years into therapy without any effect.
/r/seduction01/09/21 04:55 PM
2

I'd have to shrink to 110cm to be a 5/10, so face
/r/seduction30/08/21 06:42 AM
5

Ok, I hope this alleviated your anxiety/FOMO somewhat. Now find someone you have an emotional connection with. THAT'S what you've been waiting for.
/r/seduction28/08/21 05:34 PM
1

As funny as this story is, she should've been flattered :D
/r/seduction27/08/21 10:04 AM
6

I was addicted to kratom for 3 years, I don't really want to risk another addiction
/r/seduction22/08/21 12:58 PM
9

To me this kind of socialising somehow feels so... fake? Unnatural? I don't know how to put it. It may just be a cultural thing because I live in Eastern Europe, and here people generally keep to their own friends. If you walk up to a girl everyone knows what's your deal, and I feel like commenting on drinks and stuff like that would just be weird.
/r/seduction21/08/21 04:22 PM
15

Yeah that's true when you go with others. I'm talking about more the scenario where you are out alone.
/r/seduction21/08/21 04:16 PM
3

I live in Eastern Europe but the male:female ratio at metal shows is about 10:1. And about 10% of that looks at least decent, and most of them are there with their boyfriend. Metal is simply not the scene where you can find a lot of feminine girls around.
/r/seduction21/08/21 04:12 PM
2

I don't get the Sylvester thing
/r/seduction21/08/21 04:05 PM
2

Yeah, that's fun, except there's usually no hot girls there
/r/seduction21/08/21 04:04 PM
6

I'd absolutely do this if I could find a single thing about a bar that is fun
/r/seduction21/08/21 03:44 PM
-2

It means you look too good to be a reliable boyfriend. So it's a compliment because women don't care for reliability anyways.
/r/seduction08/08/21 05:10 PM
1

Thanks, this book was already recommended to me, I'll check it out
/r/seduction06/08/21 03:28 PM
1

Well, for me, my confidence is boosted up for a week after I have some kind of success. But then it just defaults back to -10.
/r/seduction06/08/21 02:00 PM
1

I'm good at many things, but is doesn't do anything for my self-esteem in dating. That's what I've been doing for 10 years, bulding up every aspect of myself in the hope that I'd become confident in dating if I got better in other things, but it did nothing
/r/seduction06/08/21 11:23 AM
1

Yeah, I've been told before that I have a "stern gaze" (English is not my native language and I can't find a better term for it). But I don't know what to do about it, I can't really force a smile, it shows if I do it.
/r/seduction06/08/21 07:12 AM
2

All of them?
/r/seduction05/08/21 11:48 AM
1

177 cm. Baby face at 31 regularly confused for a 23 y.o., can't grow a beard.
/r/seduction05/08/21 07:26 AM
1

He is taller and has more masculine facial features.
/r/seduction05/08/21 07:13 AM
2

That doesn't mean anything. Even "naturally", someone needs to look at the other person first.
/r/seduction04/08/21 09:37 PM
3

So how do you try to establish eye contact without looking at her?
/r/seduction04/08/21 09:35 PM
1

I'd rather not. I have a very addictive personality. If it's any good I'll be hooked on it in a week.
/r/seduction01/08/21 11:00 PM
3

Thank you! I'll look into the books you mentioned, I haven't heard of them before, except Peterson. I like Peterson and he's great at life advice, but he's not very good at the relationships thing :D But I haven't tried the Self Authoring program yet. Thanks for giving a substantive answer and not just generic stuff. I appreciate the effort.
/r/seduction01/08/21 08:45 PM
1

I don't like them, but it seems like the only socially acceptable place to do cold approach, and also you can see as many beautiful girls in a single bar at a given time than you'd see throughout your entire day. I did daygame a while ago, and I had some success with it, but to be honest I feel too old to run up to girls on the street. I'm 31, it feels like I shouldn't be doing that at this age.
/r/seduction01/08/21 08:43 PM
1

This is like as if you've been trying to get a job for years and doing everything people told you to make you more attractive to employers, but no matter what you do you can't get one. Then after trying everything for years you ask for advice again and you get the same things you've already done. And when you get fucking frustrated because you just can't seem to be able to get any more hope from anywhere, you are told: yeeeee it's because your awtiwtuuuude
/r/seduction01/08/21 07:16 PM
1

Yeah you know sometimes people get fucking frustrated when they've been trying to achieve something for fucking years and they get the same useless advice. You know that someone's most frustrated state is not their entire fucking character, right? I mean, probably, your fucking character maybe couldn't be inferred from how your attitude is at your worst fucking state, maybe?
/r/seduction01/08/21 07:13 PM
1

Thanks for adding a reasonable comment to the usual generic useless bullshit
/r/seduction01/08/21 06:29 PM
1

Did all of that already. People always fucking assume if you are not getting attention from women you must be some fucking homeless-looking bum who smells like shit and is an obsese fuck. I'm well fucking groomed and also athletic and have a good haricut. I can't fucking change my face and height
/r/seduction01/08/21 06:28 PM
2

Jesus Fuck, I said that because you said "why not try just having fun in bars?" I answered BECAUSE I'M NOT FUCKING HAVING FUN IN BARS. The VERY FUCKING THING I'M SAYING is that I know I fucking have to go to bars even though IT'S NOT FUN FOR ME.
/r/seduction01/08/21 06:27 PM
1

As I said, there's nothing fun for me in going to bars. I prefer solitary activities or one on one things. I also don't live in the US.
/r/seduction01/08/21 05:22 PM
1

If I got clear IOIs I wouldn't feel worthless. I never get, or maybe from 3s at best. And it's not hard if you do it along your arm, not crosswise.
/r/seduction01/08/21 04:55 PM
2

ok, thanks!
/r/seduction01/08/21 04:37 PM
2

Can you tell me what methods your therapis(s) used? It would be easier for me to find one that can actually do something if I knew which methods work.
/r/seduction01/08/21 04:20 PM
2

I don't know. I kid you not I ASKED all of them to give me practical steps and exercises so I feel like I'm going towards something. One by one they said that therapy is not about practical things but "exploring my psyche so that I can answer my questions myself". That was why I ultimately left. I thought this was never going anywhere.
/r/seduction01/08/21 04:03 PM
2

We always get to the realisation (which I know already) that my self-esteem issues stem from childhood bullying by peers and an overly demanding father. And that when I enter a situation where I'm among peers, it reminds my subconscious of walking into the classroom where I'm constantly humiliated, and the same neural pathways are activated, so I feel defeated and worthless. But the problem is, just by KNOWING these things they do not vanish. I know why I feel how I feel, but I can't just "not f…
/r/seduction01/08/21 03:37 PM
2

But I'm not the kind of person who has fun going out. I have the most fun reading, researching things, listening to and making music, going out in nature and things like that. I only go to bars and places like that because I still crave connection and I still have sexual desires, and I won't be able to satisfy them by reading Schopenhauer in my room.
/r/seduction01/08/21 03:23 PM
2

I tried but it always went into some dead end from where we couldn't progress.
/r/seduction01/08/21 03:21 PM
1

I agree. But sex sells. If you make something into God, everyone who you can convert will do anything to get close to that God, including working their ass off to increase their status.
/r/seduction31/07/21 05:56 PM
13

What you don't get is people who say / feel like this don't just say these things because they are mad about something and are throwing a tantrum. What a lot of people don't realise is that it has become so ingrained in our culture that value as a person = sexual/romantic validation that people who have a difficult time getting this feel like they are simply worthless. People do not become suicidal or clinically depressed because they are having a hissy fit over a toy they can't have. They becom…
/r/seduction31/07/21 08:59 AM
1

Can you link?
/r/seduction31/07/21 08:40 AM
1

I never had this limiting belief. On the contrary, I used it as a crutch. Because I think looks are the primary determinant of who will at least be open to your approach. And my maxed out looks are nothing to write home about, but I can still be successful.
/r/seduction30/07/21 09:15 PM
158

The problem is, whatever advice you get and however you try to fix this cognitively, the problem is in your subconscious. Due to impressions you acquired at a young age, the parts of you you're not even aware about are constantly placing you within a false hierarchy, regardless of where you stand currently. The only way to fix this is experience and mindfulness. For example, if you get rejected, your first thought will be "yes, I told you, you're too ugly for such a hot girl". When you have this…
/r/seduction28/07/21 02:50 PM
2

You are in a pretty good situation in my opinion. You did not waste your 20s, you merely went in a different order than most people, and built a foundation for yourself young, while others were having fun and socialising. Now that you realised that simply saving money will not make you happy, it's time to take some time to introspect. Find what you lack in life, what you want to improve in, what you want to do with the time on this planet. I wish you all the best!
/r/seduction27/07/21 08:10 PM
1

As long as you're using new types of approaches / situations, etc., I agree. With me, I was stuck in a "Hey I know it's random but I had to say hi to you" loop for a time, because it worked for a while and I thought why not do what's working. But then it became mechanistic and my results dropped with it.
/r/seduction27/07/21 02:25 PM
15

Tell her in a natural manner how much the battery will cost, so she has the opportunity to tell you "ok, thanks!" or "uh, I thought you'd pay for it?" Obviously, the 2nd one is extremely unlikely. If she thought that would be the case, she'll back out and ask someone else.
/r/seduction24/07/21 02:29 PM
2

I find that when you do it the first few times (or after a good while), your approach will be really authentic and eager, which actually helps build connection and attraction. But if you start to do it serially and see it as a mechanistic process, the whole thing starts to go south. So I suggest you keep to approaching only when you are really attracted to someone.
/r/seduction24/07/21 08:36 AM
4

Ah ok, I thought you were showing me out so I just wanted to show that my comment was not unwarranted.
/r/seduction22/07/21 03:34 PM
6

r/seduction "Help with dating, with a focus on how to get something started up, whether the goal is casual sex or a relationship."
/r/seduction22/07/21 03:28 PM
2

They can't.
/r/seduction22/07/21 02:11 PM
9

That's a self-defense mechanism (it's not just with women, just men tend to do it a bit differently). They were hurt before, and now deep down they don't trust that the world is a good place and that people are good. They keep others at a distance and consider everyone as a threat until they prove they are not, instead of the other way around.
/r/seduction22/07/21 02:07 PM
8

So your advice is the same as PUAs have been doing: act like you are higher value than her, because it's not your real compatibility that counts, only the attraction you build by lerning behaviours that make it seem like you are some irrealistically confident and cool man. Never be vulnerable and don't build real connection, just act out your part as "Mr. Cool". Well, thanks for your advice, but I'm not taking it.
/r/seduction22/07/21 01:34 PM
51

Stop being ashamed of your femininity/sensitivity too. Not everyone is a Terminator, and not every girls wants you to be a Terminator. I'm saying this because it was much harder for me to accept and be able to show my sensitive side than it was to act assertively.
/r/seduction21/07/21 07:01 AM
5

I agree. The problem is when you are so overwhelmed by all the things you should do that this pressure makes you more anxious than if you were just doing your thing. Because mostly it just comes down to "go talk to her".
/r/seduction20/07/21 04:40 PM
13

I'm pretty sure the trick is facing at a perfect 43.5 degree away from a girl. Adjust by 0.5 degree for every +1 point she has on the HB scale up from 6.
/r/seduction20/07/21 03:57 PM
10

Yes, but that's the premise of many seduction tips. How to "make her" attracted to you
/r/seduction20/07/21 01:33 PM
100

So basically things mostly work out if the girl has already selected you xD Because "do you have a lighter" is about as direct as it gets.
/r/seduction20/07/21 11:32 AM
3

It's not just a holiday. It's a musicians' retreat. I'll be spending all my time there.
/r/seduction17/07/21 10:20 PM
7

I'd like to join but I'll be on holiday the 2nd half of the week. But I'll do the first 3 days.
/r/seduction17/07/21 09:27 PM
1

Ok, sorry, I'm not a native English speaker. Until now I thought hot was a synonym to attractive.
/r/seduction12/07/21 07:20 PM
1

If that were the case it would be pointless to meet women. You could only get the ones you don't want, which, once again, you don't want.
/r/seduction12/07/21 11:03 AM
1

Well if somebody smiled at me it would help me too. But I live in a country where people are very closed-off. Everyone walks around with a frown/resting bitch face and people go out of their way not to look/have to smile at each other outside close social contexts.
/r/seduction12/07/21 10:09 AM
2

Because I subconsciously don't like myself. I'm always dissatisfied with everything I am and everything I do. How I look like, how much I earn, how strong I am, how good with people I am, etc. It doesn't matter how good I ACTUALLY am in these things, I just always feel like it's never enough. That's why I said I know it's irrational, but I still can't just shake the feeling off. Even though as I'm typing this I can rationally think it through, next time I'm around a pretty girl I'll feel as shit…
/r/seduction12/07/21 08:21 AM
2

For the sake of brevity I'm calling any woman I deem attractive, whether objectively pretty, gorgeous or average, as hot. I think most people do. Don't get hung on semantics.
/r/seduction12/07/21 08:01 AM
1

That's more like general r/dating_advice
/r/seduction12/07/21 07:59 AM
1

Forgot that one. I mustn't have been myself.
/r/seduction11/07/21 07:39 PM
1

The very fact we can be of different wavelengths proves that advice like that doesn't work. You just make the other person frustrated by demonstrating that you either don't understand their problem, or that you deem it invalid. No one will ever just say: "yeah, I guess I do put too much importance on women!", because what importance we assign to things is not a conscious DECISION, it's determined by lots and lots of subconscious processes in our brain.
/r/seduction11/07/21 07:26 PM
1

What, exactly, is holding you back? And what is it you actually want?
/r/seduction11/07/21 07:22 PM
1

I know from experience this is not true. Being desired by girls I found really attractive were among the best experiences of my life. Having sex with some girls like that who I also emotionally connected were among (if not THE) most fulfilling experiences of my life. What you are saying is simply not true.
/r/seduction11/07/21 06:57 PM
2

Yes. I'm pretty high-functioning so they always assume it's not that serious. And if you define serious as "can't function in daily life", I guess it's not. I just feel like shit all the time xD
/r/seduction11/07/21 06:55 PM
1

Not lately. Why?
/r/seduction11/07/21 06:54 PM
0

To learn you have to be given useful information
/r/seduction11/07/21 06:54 PM
0

Oh and I'm open to advice. I'm just not open to generic, lower-shelf-spiritual-psychology level advice that never ever helped anyone other than giving them a momentary dump of dopamine.
/r/seduction11/07/21 06:45 PM
1

If you have no desire why would you even do ANYTHING? People are driven by desire, whether it's for connection, respect, knowledge, wealth or other things. Without desire you'd just sit and do nothing. Which, of course, is a valid philosophy, but then the question comes out why are you in this subreddit?
/r/seduction11/07/21 06:44 PM
1

😂😂😂 Don't you just love it when people tell you what should and should not be important to you. Like, thanks, I'll just SWITCH MY FUCKING BRAIN and not desire intimacy and emotional connection, thanks! Jesus Christ it was honestly a mistake to post here.
/r/seduction11/07/21 06:15 PM
2

Yeah I tried that too. I can divert my attention when I'm working on my music. I've recorded several songs and that's basically the only thing that gives me purpose. But it doesn't solve this. Yeah, it alleviates it somewhat while I'm doing it. But as soon as I go out to the street and see all the pretty girls I'd die to be able to date, it all false apart and I even lose the motivation to work on my music. It's like all my will to live is sucked out of me in an instant whenever I see a beautifu…
/r/seduction11/07/21 06:05 PM
1

About what? Do you mean my former therapists?
/r/seduction11/07/21 06:03 PM
2

I've done everything I could think of and I felt capable of. That's why I'm looking for advice. Isn't the reason people ask for advice is that they want to get suggestions that may not have thought of? Also, can you point to any advice among the comments that is not absolutely generic and which contains anything more than "just lift bro / be confident bro", other than the comment above yours? But to answer: because giving up would be death. I wouldn't want to live like that, so until I'm absolut…
/r/seduction11/07/21 05:39 PM
2

Yes. When I said I did everything that was recommended to me, I also meant that I tried therapy, and not even just once (at 3 different therapists actually). It didn't help jack shit. When I say I simply feel like that I've exhausted every single possible avenue that could get me out of this hellhole, I mean it.
/r/seduction11/07/21 05:09 PM
0

https://www.seabreeze.com.au/Photos/View/11234055/Other/sarcasm-for-dummies/
/r/seduction11/07/21 04:44 PM
2

Does it? I thought it was a national economic policy problem, honestly
/r/seduction11/07/21 04:30 PM
1

a Also, why the fuck to people always suppose that if you are not confident, then you must not be training/lifting? I've been lifting at least 3 times every week for 5 years, but it's not a fucking cure for every single thing ever as it's made out to be.
/r/seduction11/07/21 04:28 PM
2

Wow, in all my 31 years I never once considered that I just need to be confident! I wasn't confident before but now that you told me to, I suddenly am! ​ I. AM. CURED!!!
/r/seduction11/07/21 04:19 PM
9

More than ONE? Dude that's not a skill that's just normal life
/r/seduction08/07/21 11:54 AM
-3

Still not true. I know many people who just had a good upbringing with mostly positive influences, who grew up to have a healthy confidence, and also have above average looks. These people are almost always in relationships with attractive and also mentally healthy SOs. On the other hand, I know people (me included), who had a shitty childhood with lots of trauma, and who worked their asses off to improve themselves in looks, finances, social skills, etc., but due to their self-defeating psychol…
/r/seduction07/07/21 06:45 PM
-3

I never liked this metaphor. I don't want to think of people as no more than commodity on a market. Of course supply & demand play a role, but there's more to people than quantifiable qualities.
/r/seduction07/07/21 06:22 PM
2

Install spoilers and rip
/r/seduction07/07/21 04:33 PM
2

I'm not submissive as a person in my daily life. Just in sex.
/r/seduction06/07/21 08:44 PM
2

Dude, whether I can hold myself in a fight or can carry my girl out of a burning house has no connection with whether I want to choke her while fucking her or I prefer to go down on my knees and put myself under her control. Masculinity isn't a synonim of brutishness. On a sidenote, a kind of protective submissiveness towards women is not even some new thing. On the contrary. Traditionally, in most cultures, while life decisions were made mostly by men, men were also expected to court a woman, w…
/r/seduction06/07/21 07:19 PM
2

No unfortunately. I live in a country that is quite backwards in this sense.
/r/seduction06/07/21 06:46 PM
2

Well if they haven't disappeared by now (throughout much tougher ages), I'm pretty sure they won't. You are also neglecting the nurture part of nature vs. nurture on psychology entirely. We are hard-wired for some things, and learn others. Many of our sexual fantasies and preferences are formed due to certain impulses we experience throughout our early childhood.
/r/seduction06/07/21 04:37 PM
2

If that is the case, why am I, as a man, sexually submissive? If nature ONLY "breeds" submissive women (both sexually and otherwise), then sexually (or otherwise) submissive men should already have been wiped out of the gene pool. I shouldn't exist in your world. Evo psych is cozy but it's not an exact science.
/r/seduction06/07/21 04:08 PM
1

I think you don't understand the difference between tendencies and rules.
/r/seduction06/07/21 03:59 PM
2

No part of this sentence is true, even if it applies to the majority. But there are women who are dominant in life but not in sex, and the other way around too.
/r/seduction06/07/21 03:13 PM
242

"All you need is confidence" [...] "All I did was get ripped" Well OK
/r/seduction06/07/21 10:29 AM
1

I missed out on my early 20s (in every sense - no socialising and no good career steps either), and at a point I honestly thought my life was ever. That never could anything happen that would make me not miserable. Then my career completely turned around in a few years, and then again in another few years, and I had things happen to me I never expected (I'm 31 now). You never know what the future holds, and you shouldn't think that if you messed up your past then things could never be good. Thin…
/r/seduction06/07/21 08:31 AM
23

Well, what you absolutely should NOT do is make excuses like "I know how to use it!". That shows you are insecure about it and also really want to qualify yourself to her. I see two good answers to that: A) You deflect with something playful, like "are you really so curious that you can't wait to see it with your own eyes? ;)" or B) If you feel comfortable with it and can handle a bad response, you can also be vulnerable and just honestly tell her that size is not your greatest asset, and ask if…
/r/seduction30/06/21 12:22 PM
29

The best style is the style that actually fits you and your personality. Clothing is a way to express your personality, not a uniform code of conduct.
/r/seduction24/06/21 11:39 AM
78

Also, look how masculine men dressed in the 1600s! All those huge collars and flounces! Now, THAT is how a real man dresses!
/r/seduction24/06/21 11:38 AM
1

Well what exactly do you need help with? That's not too much info.
/r/seduction23/06/21 04:56 PM
2

"Know your worth" This is where it fails for me. Because I know it. 😂 😂 😂 😂
/r/seduction23/06/21 12:39 AM
2

Hungarian
/r/seduction23/06/21 12:35 AM
10

I wish there was something similar to "I know it's random" in my native language xD
/r/seduction22/06/21 10:53 PM
1

Well if you are anywhere near like I used to be, this will be one of the most difficult experiences of your life. Before I did my first daygame approach, I walked around for like 2 hours literally nauseous and feeling like I'd vomit. It took every ounce of my courage to do it. Maybe you are less anxious, maybe not, but all I can tell you is, don't put expectations on yourself as to the result: your only task is to be brave and do it, that's it. But do it, no matter what!
/r/seduction18/06/21 07:39 PM
2

Elaborate
/r/seduction18/06/21 07:31 PM
3

Not particularly, but not tall either. 5'9/177cm.
/r/seduction18/06/21 11:15 AM
3

We'll see. At the moment I'm trying to apply cognitive behavioural therapy on myself, and while it's early to tell, I may be on to something with that. Thanks for your input.
/r/seduction17/06/21 09:29 PM
3

I did, a few, but they didn't work out. But I might try again. I know some of my issues are in my head, but then some also seem to be just objective reality, and I don't really know how a therapist could help with those.
/r/seduction17/06/21 09:21 PM
4

Eastern Europe
/r/seduction17/06/21 09:20 PM
8

I have no idea, honestly. I've been stuck with this for years, and I have no idea what could I do.
/r/seduction17/06/21 08:40 PM
29

Yeah, I did a lot. Also people, including girls I like, tell me I look "really well put-together". But when I'm out and about it's like I'm not even there.
/r/seduction17/06/21 08:20 PM
73

When I read/hear that women hold eye contact with you guys, I feel like I'm literally a pile of shit. Attractive women look anywhere but at me. Like, they literally go out of their way not to look at me.
/r/seduction17/06/21 07:21 PM
3

Wow man, I really resonate with this. But for me, I didn't cut ties with them. Instead, I took opportunities to engage in conflict and to confront them in situations where I would have had acted like a puny little kid before. I'm not saying it was a perfect solution, but it was huge progress for me (e.g. my father stopped calling me by "endearing" childish nicknames, and now I feel much more man-to-man when we talk).
/r/seduction17/06/21 09:53 AM
2

My advice is don't obsess over the stuff you have no control over. I used to obsess about my jawline for the better part of a decade, and I felt like I would never be worthy of an attractive woman just because I don't have a manly jaw. Other guys have the same with height, or their hairline, etc. Just make the best of yourself, and improve what you can.
/r/seduction14/06/21 11:06 PM
2

ELI5 Body: broad shoulders / chest, thick neck, thick bone structure (visible e.g. at wrist and ankle), muscular. Face: wide, angular jawline, relatively small eyes, ability to grow a strong beard There are more but these came to my mind now.
/r/seduction14/06/21 10:08 PM
1

Absolutely
/r/seduction14/06/21 05:33 PM
3

Well some of these are created by the media / culture, like fashion, hairstyles, etc. But some of us are just ingrained into us by evolution, like attraction to indicators of health, men's attraction to young (and thus fertile) women and features, and women's attraction to masculine features (indicators of high testosterone). Of course there'll always be exceptions, there will be women who are attracted to less masculine men and vice versa, but these are, as I said, the exceptions, not the rule.
/r/seduction14/06/21 05:32 PM
3

Ah, then I have to disagree. I think he looks above average. Please note for men "attractive looks" do not equal "beauty", but masculine bodily and facial features.
/r/seduction14/06/21 05:10 PM
1

Nowhere did I say you have to be tall. I said you have to have some physically attractive qualities.
/r/seduction14/06/21 04:23 PM
7

Well good looks don't equal model looks. Theres a really small percentage of guys who are bessed with godlike features, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about having a reasonably masculine build, not-unpleasant, reasonably manly facial features, a few indicators of genetic fitness like good hair / beard, height, broad shoulders, etc, and a good clothing style. If you have a few of these, it qualifies you as "good-looking" insofar as most girls will not reject you based on your …
/r/seduction14/06/21 04:11 PM
3

Well I'd say it's true that most people can find a partner, but you absolutely have to get to a point where you respect and like yourself in order to do so. Otherwise, you'll either be alone or in toxic relationships. And people who think they are ugly (not in a playfully self-deprecating way, but in a self-hating way) don't respect themselves. These people have a hard and long road before them, on which they have to learn to see themselves as worthy of love. Untile you feel that way you won't b…
/r/seduction14/06/21 03:27 PM
5

Well of course, group hobbies and such are all part of your social circle. Social circle is everyone you regularly interact with in a manner that the primary driver/initiator of the contact is not a romantic/sexual interest. No debate there.
/r/seduction14/06/21 03:10 PM
13

"Also Amy is married if you didn't know, so someone found her general being (either looks or personality) aggreable." I never said only looks count. I said that outside of social circle, it is what gets your foot in the door. In social circle, you will have a chance to express your personality, which can make you more attractive to someone. This was the whole point of my first comment.
/r/seduction14/06/21 02:40 PM
42

Well they are subjective to an extent. Like if you showed let's say Angelina Jolie and Emma Watson to 50 guys, a number of them would say they are more attracted to Angelina, and the others would say they are more attracted to Emma. But if you showed them Angelina Jolie and Amy Schumer, very few, if any, would say they like Amy more. So there's some subjectivity, but broadly speeking we all know what "hot" means, and what "plain" means.
/r/seduction14/06/21 01:54 PM
99

Still, looks are what get your foot in the door. No looks = no chance given. The exception is social circle, but if that's limited for you, you absolutely need good looks.
/r/seduction14/06/21 01:20 PM
2

Look at my other comments, "homie". I was making fun of your dudebro writing style, just "cus"
/r/seduction13/06/21 10:28 PM
1

I agree that it's unacceptable behaviour. I'm merely saying that if someone reacts like this to you, even though they should be ashamed, this is an indicator for you that SOMETHING is amiss in your presentation. Yes, it's not very useful beyond that, but at least you know you have some area you need to improve in.
/r/seduction13/06/21 08:48 PM
2

I just didn't really find it useful the 3 times I tried already.
/r/seduction13/06/21 08:40 PM
8

It's an indicator.
/r/seduction13/06/21 08:14 PM
2

Sure, go ahead. But probably I'll not be able to get personal help from him because I live in Europe.
/r/seduction13/06/21 07:20 PM
2

Yeah, I guess we just have to accept that rejection is a part of life if you want to find a date, and there's no "rejection-proof" way of doing it. I also have problem internalising successes into my self-image. Like I remember and frequently recall every humiliating rejection I ever had, and I feel like they are a part of me, but I somehow cannot do the same with my successes, even though I pulled some shit other people told me were awesome. I just can't change my self-image to see myself as an…
/r/seduction13/06/21 07:10 PM
-2

U rite mate u tel em tocsic macsuline ashols!
/r/seduction13/06/21 07:06 PM
9

If bad people have a bad opinion on you, they may still be correct. In fact I'd rather hear a negative opinion regarding me, even presented in a blunt manner, than being lied to. At least that way I can improve.
/r/seduction13/06/21 07:06 PM
2

Yes, I'll just have to find a way to frame "NO"s as partial successes towards a YES. My problem is I beat up myself so much about every single rejection, to me it feels like the entire female sex just told me to get lost and die.
/r/seduction13/06/21 06:51 PM
3

I hired one about 2 years ago. You know what he told me? This: "Well mate, I don't know what to tell you. Most guys who ask for my help are not like you, I mean you look good and so far I only had one client, the CEO of a large company, whose communication was as confident and direct as yours. You should do all right." So, I merely learned that I should do well, but I don't. xD
/r/seduction13/06/21 06:50 PM
2

Yeah probably I'll just have to gather my courage and go do it. Online dating is a nightmare. In real life you at least have a 1-minute window to present your case.
/r/seduction13/06/21 06:33 PM
3

Thanks, I'll check it out. I'm just glad it's not "go to therapy" or "try ugly women".
/r/seduction13/06/21 05:49 PM
2

Well I find it hard to assess how good-looking I am. I don't really like my physical characteristics, but people tell me that I look good and am really well put-together. Gay culture is somewhat under the surface where I live (I live in a conservative country in Eastern Europe), but from social circle yes, I was asked out by a gay guy once.
/r/seduction13/06/21 01:33 PM
18

Well, if you have an absolutely healthy self-esteem and feel like going through a good number of rejections won't break you, go for it. But if it's just a cop-out from getting leaner, then it's a no-no.
/r/seduction12/06/21 09:12 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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