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View 3 posts and 105 comments by BobQuasit on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
10

BobQuasit/r/Divorce_Men23/08/19 04:46 AM
5

BobQuasit/r/Divorce_Men16/07/19 08:42 PM
2

BobQuasit/r/Divorce_Men24/04/19 03:22 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
5

It could let her lawyer argue that she should have extended or even potentially permanent alimony due to her disability, depending on the laws of the state or country where you are. It might also allow you to go for full custody, if you want. I wish I had done that. Apparently the particular type of mental illness involved can make a difference. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 10:22 PM
9

Freedom.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/23 02:35 AM
2

Because I was desperate, and damaged by an abusive upbringing.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/23 12:43 AM
1

It could be, but it's not. Of course all you have to go on is my word. But yes, she gave me a long and oddly specific speed saying that you would never take my money and then not communicate with me or do nothing. He charged me a very large retainer. And then she literally did nothing for a year and a half. I kept trying to get in touch with her, but it soon became very clear that she was flat out dodging me. So I got a new attorney. I still ended up losing the case - or rather, I didn't win bec…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 11:45 PM
13

It's much more important to research the attorneys that you're considering than to worry about their gender. I had an attorney who was a woman. She took my money, promised me that she'd stay in touch, and disappeared forever. Later I did some research. Turned out that all her female clients swore that she walked on water for them. But her male clients had the exact same experience that I did: she took their money and did nothing. My next attorney was male. This time I researched him more careful…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 03:29 AM
1

You'll have to research. Check out family law specialists online. Avvo.com is a good place to read client reviews of attorneys. You can also look them up on Google Maps and Yelp.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 06:42 PM
3

About 5 seconds. He's down the hall. When he lived half the time with his mother, he was about a 17-minute drive away. But she took up with an abusive ex-convict who kept trying to get his hands on my son to "straighten him out". He decided to stay with me full time after that, and I've raised him as a full-time single father ever since!
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 05:17 AM
2

Do NOT leave the home without talking to a good attorney first. Otherwise she can claim that you walked out on her - and kidnapped your child, into the bargain - and the courts might just rape you for it. I'm not kidding. They could really fuck you up. Research a good family law attorney. There ARE bad ones out there. I had two before I found a decent one, and it cost me more than I can say. Look them up on Google Maps, Yelp, and most importantly on Avvo.com. Read reviews by clients carefully. M…
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 05:16 PM
2

Massachusetts.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/23 05:01 AM
3

Ironically my ex "married" her abusive boyfriend in a big wedding ceremony, but didn't get a marriage license so they could keep collecting alimony. While I raised our child as a single father, she refused to pay any of her share of his court-ordered costs and STILL collected alimony for years. I was also working full time to support us. Fortunately I was working from home. I tried to get the court to recognize the situation. She successfully stalled for more than five years, always with new exc…
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/23 04:56 AM
6

My ex started it, by offering me every other weekend. I'd told her from day 1 that I'd never accept anything less than 50/50 - but that likewise, I'd never try for MORE than 50/50. Since I voluntary offered her 55% of our combined income (really more like 65 - 70%, since I was paying for all of our child's health insurance on top of that), she eventually agreed. Then she took up with an openly abusive ex-convict and our child decided to move in with me full time.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/23 04:24 AM
16

In that case, the best thing you can do is cut yourself off from her in every way possible - particularly emotionally. That's going to take a long time, but it's the only way forward. Don't let yourself fall into the trap of wanting revenge; that just ties you to her in a different way. Move out, stop following her on social media or anything like that, block her in every way except one for legal purposes, and do your best to fill up your life with activity. Dating that soon after a separation i…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 04:58 PM
18

I hope you have a great lawyer. And it's a damn good thing that you don't have kids with her.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 04:44 PM
1

What does your lawyer say?
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/22 12:49 AM
4

I was only able to do it by becoming a full time eworker.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/22 04:42 AM
1

4 & 6. I try not to feel 5. She's with a twice-convicted abuser and felon who beats the shit out of her daily, but she hurt our son and stole a fortune from me while I was raising him single-handedly.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/22 06:05 PM
3

My son was 13 or so when his mother and I got divorced. I kind of suspect that I hung on until then because he was able to handle it better. But every kid and every divorce was different.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/22 02:23 AM
1

It's not uncommon for judges to take sides. But they're not supposed to be blatant about it. That said, it could be both A) and B).
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/22 03:54 AM
3

I'd prefer to believe that it shouldn't matter. But based on my personal experience I'm not sure that that's always true. My first attorney was female. She was pleasant, but she left a critical piece of language out of the agreement which resulted in my paying alimony for several years longer than I should have had to. My second attorney was also female. When I gave her the initial retainer, she gave me a very encouraging talk about how she would be very responsive and aggressive in her pursuit …
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 12:12 PM
2

If you don't have a lawyer, you should really get one. Check with any connections you have in the legal field. Research lawyers, and make sure you get an expert in family law in your state or country. I would strongly suggest looking up potential lawyers on Google map and yelp, particularly checking out their reviews. Most important, look them up on Avvo.com. my brother is a lawyer, and he told me about it. I wish he had told me earlier, though, because my first lawyer was weak and my second one…
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/22 11:51 PM
1

If you think you are being treated unfairly, you should have the option to register a protest or maybe bring an attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/22 10:57 PM
3

So you'll never have them on Saturdays? That could become awkward. Eliminating Saturdays from your time with them could eliminate a lot of potential fun activities for you to do with them.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/22 03:41 PM
1

What about Saturdays?
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/22 03:08 PM
1

My ex offered every other weekend. I insisted on 50/50 and got it. But she soon started dating, and kept asking me to keep him longer. I tracked every hour; she was having him stay with me 65/35. I kept my lawyer informed. Then she found "Steve", the man of her dreams. Steve was an ex-felon who'd been jailed repeatedly for shoplifting, forging checks, and twice for domestic abuse of the mother of his children. Our son hated him, not least because Steve loved "joking" about turning his beloved ca…
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/22 12:32 PM
5

She collected a large retainer from me and spent the next two years doing absolutely NOTHING for my case. She didn't respond to my emails or calls - and I was careful not to try to contact her more than once a week at most. After a year with no contact I went to her office. Her receptionist told me that she'd just left, although on the phone the receptionist had said she was in. When I finally got a new attorney he told me that she had informed him that I was a "problem" client. He was amazed th…
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/22 04:24 AM
4

Find the best lawyer that you can as quickly as you can. Research them to make sure they're good; at the least, look them up on Google Maps (check the reviews), Yelp, and on Avvo dot com. My brother's a lawyer, and he's the one who told me about Avvo. I just wish he'd told me earlier, because that way I'd have known that my first lawyer was mediocre at best and my second lawyer literally would not do anything to help her male clients.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/22 03:15 AM
12

My ex has successfully delayed a court hearing for five years now. She hasn't been paying the court-mandated share of child support for years, even though our son chose to move in with me full time rather than stay with her and her abusive fiance. She has continued to collect alimony despite having "married" her fiance; they deliberately didn't get a marriage license so they could keep forcing me to pay alimony. She and her fiance-husband go on luxury cruises and vacations every year. I'm lucky …
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/22 03:57 AM
5

It takes time, but it DOES get better - unless you have crippling issues unrelated to the marriage. Generally speaking the longer the marriage, the more time it takes for you to recover from the divorce. The difficulty of the divorce itself is also a factor. I was married for about 14 years, and it took me about 2 years to feel fully recovered. But people vary. You've already received some good advice here, so I won't repeat much of it. I will say that finding a good psychiatrist or psychiatric …
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/22 12:39 PM
3

Some do, some don't. Everyone's different, and so is every marriage and every divorce. Don't get me wrong. Divorce is hell. It's a lot like dying. But personally, my life is MUCH better now. On the other hand, my ex - who initiated the divorce - is now with a man who beats the shit out of her every day. And our son won't speak to her. Neither will her mother, father, or brother. So she's probably worse off.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/22 11:10 PM
2

We basically split 8 years ago. It certainly took me several years to recover, but in terms of missing the ring I would say it has easily been 5 years since I actually missed it. I'm not 100% sure where it is anymore, although I could probably find it with a search.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/22 01:39 AM
1

Yeah, it felt weird for a while. But it has been years since I felt that way. Once in a while I get a momentary memory of the ring on my finger, but I don't really miss it. The callus is gone.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/22 01:33 AM
2

Having been through a divorce (and still going through a nasty court battle with her seven years later), I can tell you the first thing your lawyer will say: DON'T TALK ABOUT HER ONLINE UNTIL THE DIVORCE HAS BEEN FINALIZED. It can only hurt you. I get that you're pissed off beyond belief, but you need to try to play it cool. That said, find the best lawyer you can. Use any connections you have, but also research the lawyers you're considering online; Google them, and also look them up on Yelp, G…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/21 04:53 AM
1

Jeeze, that's pretty dark! I try to be a bit more optimistic than that!
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/21 03:28 PM
7

Get a good lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/21 05:43 PM
5

I was divorced six years ago. Our son decided to live with me full time four and a half years ago after my ex took up with an abusive ex-felon and twice-convicted domestic abuser. I immediately filed for the court to recognize that fact. My ex "married" her abusive boyfriend in a large ceremony almost three years ago. They didn't get a marriage license specifically so they could keep collecting alimony from me. They also both collect disability while working under the table, tax-free. She stoppe…
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/21 07:55 PM
2

I have a kid with her, but limited discussions to email still worked. Eventually our son decided to live with me full time, which cut down even more on our communication.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/21 04:16 AM
2

Block her if you can. That's what I did, and my life is definitely better because of it. I blocked her from calling or texting me. The only way she can reach me is through email. And she's mostly given up on that, too.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/21 03:35 AM
3

I have had three lawyers in my divorce. The first two were women. The third was a man. The first one screwed up the separation agreement. The second one did nothing for 2 years. The third one has been working to get the case to court. Research the lawyers you are considering. If you have any connections to the legal world, use them. But also look them up on Google Maps, Yelp, and particularly on avvo.com. my brother is a lawyer, and he's the one who told me about avvo. I wish he had told me earl…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/21 04:56 AM
12

Get. A. Lawyer. Get a lawyer now. Find the best one you can. Network with your friends and family. Check out reviews of possible attorneys on Yelp, Google Maps, and most of all on Avvo.com - a lawyer told me about that one, and I just wish he'd told me earlier. Nobody here is qualified to advise you. You could try r/legaladvice, but really you need your own lawyer who knows your state (or the equivalent) - because there are huge differences from one state to another.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/21 12:31 AM
1

Yup! I pay alimony, and I pay taxes on that alimony as if it were mine to spend. Meanwhile my ex lives with another man, "married" him, and because they didn't get a marriage certificate I still have to keep paying her. Even though she refuses to pay a penny towards our son's support - despite being legally required to by the divorce decree. Still, if Biden changes that it won't change the fact that he already screwed me on the stimulus, broke his promise on a living wage, and is already bombing…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/21 03:55 AM
11

It takes time. It took me years.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/21 02:35 AM
3

Same here! Welcome.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/21 04:55 AM
2

Also: records, records, records. Never pay alimony or child support in cash - always pay by check. Your canceled check is proof that your payment was received. Record EVERYTHING that has anything to do with the divorce or your child. My ex claimed that I hadn't paid her $10,000. Luckily I was able to find a copy of the cashed check and prove that she was lying (again).
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/21 04:56 AM
1

It has been six years for me, and I'm still waiting for a court hearing over alimony and child support. She has successfully stalled court hearings for the last four years. I've been a single parent to our child for that time, while she's sucked over $30,000 from me - not including what I'm paying my lawyer. I can't help but believe that if our genders were switched, she'd be in jail by now.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/21 04:56 PM
3

You have my sympathy. My ex has successfully blocked ANY court hearing for four years now, which is when our son decided to move in with me full time. She and her fiance had a luxury cruise scheduled; that canceled the first hearing. She had surgery a week before the second hearing, and said she couldn't drive to it. I don't remember the other excuses (there were a lot), but one of them was a suicide attempt the night before the hearing. Four years later I'm still waiting for the courts to ackno…
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/20 06:09 PM
3

Good luck. I hope you called the best lawyer you could find. Check their reviews on Yelp, Google Maps, and Avvo.com. I wish I had!
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/20 04:21 PM
2

Sorry, does "EOW" stand for "every other weekend"? Or "every other week"? Personally, I insisted on 50/50. Ironically, when his mother started dating she pushed me to take him 65% of the time - and when she moved in with an abusive felon of a boyfriend, our son moved in with me full time. I don't know. I guess people are different.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/20 03:52 AM
2

I've been there too - well, in some ways. I'd suggest finding the best attorney you can. Check their reviews on Avvo.com; my brother's a lawyer, and he told me that's the best place to get solid information on attorneys. I wish I'd checked that site before I hired my first two lawyers! If you can find a good therapist and a good psychiatrist or psychiatric nurse, that would be a good idea. Frankly I don't think I would have made it through the divorce without medication. And disconnect from her …
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/20 05:55 AM
7

Get the best lawyer you can. Research to make sure that he/she isn't a dud. Start documenting everything. Stop posting anything about this at all on social media. The first thing that your lawyer is going to tell you is to delete anything that you've ever posted about your ex or your divorce. That would include this post. Change all your passwords. Make damn sure you don't have any shared accounts or documents with your ex. Frankly, if your ex was in med school, I'd think that you should be suin…
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/19 11:55 PM
2

Thanks! Just a thought, why not record yourself reading a story for your son and send it to him?
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/19 07:45 PM
3

We talk for hours every day. More than we did before the divorce, to be honest. But in fairness, I had 50/50 time with him, and his mother dumped him on me for a lot of "her" time; she was dating a lot. Then she took up with an abuser, and our son decided to stay with me full time after that. He and I are a lot alike. I've been reading to him every night since before he was born, and I still do. I'm lucky. I honestly believe that 50/50 should be the default unless one of the parents is unsafe or…
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/19 02:17 PM
2

It might depend on your state, but I doubt it. All I know for sure was that when I got divorced, my ex stayed on my family health insurance plan for a couple of years. I don't think that she was on COBRA, though; she just stayed on my regular plans and paid me the difference between Me+1 (our son) and the family plan. I should note that my insurer definitely knew that we were divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/19 03:11 PM
1

I went for 50/50 after my ex tried to get me to accept 14/86 (in her favor, of course). I got it, but it wasn't long before she had him stay with me more and more for her convenience. It got a lot closer to 65/35, totally at her option. I guess our child was interfering with her dating life. Within a year she took up with a twice-convicted domestic abuser, and after she tried to get our child to live with that abuser, he chose to move in with me full-time.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/19 08:06 PM
2

His brother isn't going for full custody. His brother's ex-wife is. which is a very different thing. I hope he gets a damned good lawyer and fights like hell.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/19 04:07 PM
2

Get the best lawyer you can find. Research them. It's really important.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/19 02:48 AM
2

I hope so. Considering that the court system has allowed this to drag on for so long, I'm not counting on anything.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/19 02:13 PM
3

I should say that those first two lawyers were recommended by family members who are attorneys themselves. The third one I found myself, with some help. All I can say is, it's really important to research your attorney. Avvo in particular was a useful resource, as it is a review site just for attorneys. I wish that I had known about it before I hired the first two.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/19 03:34 PM
2

My first attorney did a very poor job. My second attorney was even worse; she literally did nothing and would not communicate with me. But my current attorney is a lot better.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/19 03:30 PM
1

I have. It's more complicated, unfortunately, because we were divorced in one state and moved to another immediately after. Their laws differ, but case law doesn't make it clear which one takes priority.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/19 03:21 PM
1

That complicates things. You should consult an attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/19 11:14 PM
1

Do you have kids?
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/19 09:11 PM
1

It has been four years for me. I only feel the absence occasionally.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/19 09:48 PM
3

Do not accept her plans. My ex wanted me to see my son just every other weekend. I insisted on 50/50. And when she took up with an abusive felon, my son moved in with me full time. Also, be careful as hell about what you offer. The relationship will almost certainly change with your ex, and what seems fair now could end up screwing you massively. I've been paying to support a felon for years, which was certainly not anything I would have agreed to. Get the best lawyer you can. Look up reviews of…
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/19 03:44 PM
6

It was tough as hell. But I slowly started to regain a sense of freedom that I'd lost long before. It was kind of weird, but it was a really good feeling. My situation may not be like yours. I have a child. The legal battle with my ex is still ongoing, years after the divorce was final. I wouldn't say that I'm back to normal, in the sense of "normal" when I was married. I'm better than I was then. Different, and better.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/19 08:01 PM
4

Don't move out before you talk to a good divorce attorney. Doing so could be interpreted by the courts as abandonment, which will be held against you in the future; you will essentially be conceding some of your rights. Right now your top priority should be to find the best divorce attorney as you can, as quickly as you can. Do your research. Network with friends and family. In particular, check reviews of any attorney that you're considering on Google Maps, Yelp, and (particularly) Avvo.com - t…
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/19 03:02 PM
2

I was divorced four years ago and I'm still waiting for a court hearing on her refusal to obey the separation agreement. Her lawyer just keeps stalling. She has collected over $25,000 while living with her new "husband". And refused to pay her court-ordered share of our child's medical expenses for most of that time.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/19 06:22 PM
1

A surprising number of typos. "Undue" not "undo". "not speak", not "do not speak". Also there should be no comma after "last two years".
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/19 06:13 PM
5

Agreed! I think that the institution of marriage itself needs to be changed. Divorce doesn't have to destroy the rest of your life. Things like lifetime alimony should be abolished; it's virtual slavery!
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/19 09:04 PM
2

Yeah. I didn't love my ex, but sometimes my ring finger still feels weirdly empty.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/19 08:34 PM
6

If she does not have sole undisputed custody, she is probably in violation of something. I hope you have a good attorney. I'm sorry that this is happening to you. I hope your Father's Day hasn't been too terrible, none the less. Try to have a good birthday tomorrow. The divorce process is hell, but it does eventually end. Things will get better.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/19 01:25 AM
1

It's a nice thought, and I hope it's true for most. It hasn't been true for me. It has been over five years since the divorce was final, and I'm still waiting for a court date!
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/19 03:46 AM
2

My ex was bipolar too, and broke us financially the same way. I don't know anything about crowdfunding, but if you have a 401k you should be able to take out a loan from it. This is a much better option than withdrawing funds directly, because there's a substantial penalty (about 40%, I believe) if you withdraw funds from your 401k. You might also be accused of sheltering assets, which can be a serious problem. This would be a good place to say that I AM NOT A LAWYER. The payments will be deduct…
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/19 05:25 PM
1

In a way I was lucky, I guess. I never loved my ex. Even so, though, divorce nearly killed me. All I can suggest is therapy and medication. They help a lot. Plus time, of course.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/19 04:48 PM
5

Do whatever you have to to get a lawyer. You should be able to get an initial consultation free, or cheap. One option would be to take out a loan from your 401k, if you have one; the payments are deducted directly from your paycheck, and are paid, with interest, directly back into your 401k. So you actually end up improving your 401k, as long as you don't default.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/19 04:34 PM
7

Good luck. Try to record her bad behaviour, if you can. You should also talk to a lawyer about all this immediately.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/19 04:11 PM
1

A couple of people have mentioned that Captain Marvel has made over a billion dollars. That number is actually very questionable. There is evidence that --Disney-- some unknown entity bought tickets for many showings, and possibly all of them in the first few days. A theater manager came forward and said that 25 tickets were bought for every showing of Captain Marvel. Those tickets were not used. I went on opening day, and I definitely saw a lot more empty seats than the reservation site showed …
/r/MensRights02/05/19 03:40 AM
1

It varies from state to state and country to country.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/19 10:50 AM
1

Just remember that you never know how things will end up. I had one of the most amicable divorces ever - the court-appointed mediator told us so - but about two years after the divorce my ex took up with an abusive felon. They tried to squeeze me for an extra $10,000 by claiming that I hadn't paid them some funds (luckily I had the canceled check). She abandoned our child to live with her boyfriend. Then she "married" her boyfriend in a ceremony with guests and wedding gifts, but didn't get a ma…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/19 02:39 AM
1

Good luck! I wish I hadn't been generous...she and her lawyer took me to the cleaners.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/19 12:23 PM
1

Reverse the genders and the incident looks very different. No one would ever dare tell a woman that the man is always right. And if she was being abused by her spouse, the whole situation would be regarded with horror - rather than as a joke.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/19 07:10 PM
2

My first experience with a couples counselor was before I got married. She was hitting me and being very controlling at the time. We picked a couples counselor who was nearby. Now, at this point I was very unhappy. I was being physically and emotionally abused. So I was pretty gobsmacked when we walked into the office and the first thing the counselor said (with a smirk) was: "The first thing you need to understand is that the woman is always right. Once you've got that through your head, everyt…
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/19 06:17 PM
3

Talk to your lawyer about everything that's happening. Things that seem perfectly reasonable to you can turn out to be a huge mistake.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/19 01:21 PM
1

Unfortunately the state where we got divorced has some of the most ridiculous laws imaginable. I have confirmed that as long as you don't get a marriage license, you can marry a million people and it will not have any effect on alimony. And common law marriage as such doesn't exist in that state. Now, we are all currently living in a state that does have much more enlightened laws. The problem is getting the courts to decide that it is the laws of our current state of residence that should apply…
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/19 04:31 PM
1

You may be right, but my lawyer hasn't said anything to me about it. He's the third lawyer I have had so far. The first one was a nice person, but didn't do a good job. The second one was horrible; she basically just stalled for a year, and never communicated with me. I later looked her up and discovered that she seems to do great work for female clients, and to ignore male clients. My new guy is good - I hope - but not cheap. At this point we have been put into conciliation. It just seems that …
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/19 04:02 PM
1

Meanwhile I am raising our child single-handedly, while she's going on luxury cruises with her jailbird "husband".
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/19 03:35 PM
1

Yeah, but her lawyer never is.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/19 03:34 PM
1

I can sympathize. My ex has successfully delayed our court hearing for almost three years now so that she can keep collecting alimony from me, even though she's been living with a guy for the past two years or more - and has now "married" him. She's also avoiding paying child support even though our son has been living full-time with me for over two years now.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/19 01:24 PM
2

My advice to you is to lawyer up. My ex was a shopping addict. Racked up all kinds of debts that I had to pay off. In the end, we lost our house.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/19 06:03 PM
1

As soon it's clear that you are headed for divorce, get the best lawyer you can find. Look up reviews everywhere you can, including avvo.com. DO NOT MOVE OUT - the courts may interpret that as abandonment, and you can really end up screwed. Since you want to try to save the relationship, all I can recommend to that end is couples counseling. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/19 04:08 PM
3

You're making assumptions that may not be valid. Yes, many courts are biased towards women - but that's definitely not always the case. If you're being abused, you need to get out. You also need to speak with a good divorce attorney. You can look up divorce lawyers in Google maps or some similar service, and then check out their reviews both on Google maps and Avvo. I was married to an abusive woman too. You don't have to be trapped. But you have to take the first step.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/19 01:48 AM
3

It's not over yet. She's been stalling a court hearing for years now - apparently to keep the gravy train rolling, no matter what the cost to our son's college fund. Our son won't see her, speak to her, and has blocked all of her means of contact. Some day I hope that this case will finally go to court. She owes me many thousands of dollars as it is, and I suspect that she should have been paying me child support for the years that my son has been with me full-time. I also believe that she owes …
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/19 03:00 AM
5

I have been there. I had a 50-50 arrangement with my ex. She started - I don't like the word, but she started dumping him on me more and more often during her days. It got up to about 65%; I mean that I had him about 65% of the time, and she had him 35% of the time. All while I was paying her child support and alimony. Then she took up with an abusive felon. The guy was verbally abusive to our son, and abusive to his mother in front of him. Finally our son refused to stay at her place at all. He…
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/19 02:41 AM
4

Start by documenting every single time your ex asks you to take him. If she's effectively making it 50/50, that might be grounds for revising child support. But documentation is always a good idea.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/19 02:28 AM
2

I thought that I was the only one who was given an ultimatum! I can't say I broke the news. It's more like our lives fell apart.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/19 03:58 AM
1

The sooner the better - but make sure that you get a good attorney. As for how long it takes, that depends on circumstances. It took two years for my divorce to go through, and over four years later I'm still waiting for a court hearing to settle related issues. But my case is probably atypical.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/19 01:08 AM
4

When you realize that you can't imagine ever being comfortable or happy with your spouse ever again. Or, alternatively, when you get served.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/19 03:51 AM
1

Sad but very true. From my own experience, my ex got away with abandoning our child, refusing to pay her court-ordered share of our child's medical and other expenses, her court-ordered half of shared marital debts (which were really all hers, but I had to pay them off), any child support for the years I've taken sole care of our son...all while the court didn't do a goddamned thing. I'm still waiting for a hearing, years later. I am morally certain that if our genders were reversed, things woul…
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/19 03:47 AM
3

Are there children involved?
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/19 08:01 PM
8

It's worth noting that terminology can vary. In the state where I was divorced, "custody" and "physical placement" were different things. Another thing that people should really know is that they should never move out from the family residence without speaking to their attorney. In some cases, that can be taken by the court as abandonment of the child - which causes permanent difficulties when it comes to arguing custody/placement.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/19 07:13 PM
2

Actually she's still fighting me in court. But luckily the kid is old enough to have the final say. So now she's just trying to keep the gravy train rolling.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/19 11:06 PM
1

She always liked abusive men, I guess. She was with one until shortly before she met me. I must have been a terrible disappointment to her in that regard. Maybe that's why she used to hit me.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/19 10:52 PM
5

Equating sleep time with waking time doesn't seem fair at all. I tried 50/50. We used a two-week cycle in 2- and 3-day alternation. So it went like this: Week one: Saturday/Sunday (Me), Mon-Tue-Wed (her), Thur-Fri (me) Week two: Saturday/Sunday (her), Mon-Tue-Wed (me), Thur-Fri (her) The math worked out, but it still pretty much sucked. Eventually she took up with an abusive felon and moved in with him, and our child chose to live with me full-time. All that said, talk to your lawyer. The more c…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/19 09:26 PM
3

I just don't know. Since my divorce four years ago, things have happened that I never dreamed of. Family law is insane. I don't know how some people survive it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/19 06:46 PM
5

If you don't lose your son, the best thing you can do for him is to read and sing to him every night at bedtime. I can't emphasize this strongly enough. Time together every night will form a bond that can't be broken. And the earlier you start, the better.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/19 06:22 PM
2

Strangely enough it was the overspending that was the deciding factor.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/19 03:52 AM
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