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Borntadoodishes Archive

View 17 posts and 65 comments by Borntadoodishes on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
91

RantBorntadoodishes/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 07:11 PM
84

Borntadoodishes/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 11:57 PM
76

Borntadoodishes/r/Divorce_Men22/10/23 11:18 AM
70

Borntadoodishes/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 10:22 PM
69

Dating After DivorceBorntadoodishes/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 12:13 PM
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Borntadoodishes/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 01:06 PM
49

Borntadoodishes/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 01:54 PM
44

RantBorntadoodishes/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 01:36 PM
43

RantBorntadoodishes/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 05:54 PM
37

Borntadoodishes/r/Divorce_Men03/11/23 11:07 AM
36

RantBorntadoodishes/r/Divorce_Men23/12/25 11:39 AM
24

Borntadoodishes/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 10:36 PM
19

Dealing with the Ex / STBXBorntadoodishes/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 11:48 AM
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Borntadoodishes/r/Divorce_Men23/11/23 12:37 PM
7

Borntadoodishes/r/Divorce_Men12/11/23 07:32 PM
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Borntadoodishes/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 12:25 PM
2

Borntadoodishes/r/Divorce_Men30/04/25 11:58 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

I was there. Imo divorce can lock us into our trauma. The way I have started to turn the corner is to take time at night visualizing who I want to be and also what I want to do in my life. Doesn't matter if its unattainable. It just gives me time to dream about ME and not focus on HER or our shitty culture like divorce law, gender wars, etc etc. That literally took me away from the negative spiral and focusing on my present and future. I started doing little things like going out to a movie, rea…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 02:46 AM
17

Lol I probably did 80% of all housework and over half the child care, also made 2x her salary worked way more hours etc But I wasn't enough and didn't do enough. I'm telling you we all learn the hard way and my eyes will remain open now. Its funny because I constantly read all over reddit how men just want to marry a maid, unpaid labor, emotional labor, etc etc. I just will never marry again especially with these types of attitudes everywhere how we are just trash and never add up and are dispos…
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/25 10:00 PM
6

Also: if you stayed with her, over time you’d be spending that money on supporting or she would be spending ALL the cash you earned anyway. Retirement delayed bc of her poor financial decisions, etc. It’s kinda like paying up front just to get away. Yes it does set you back. Some more than others. Some may not recover I don’t know. For a fresh perspective though it’s freeing to be the ONLY one budgeting for a change. In my former relationship I am the frugal one and she was ready to bankrupt us …
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 12:37 AM
6

Yes a widow she lives off her sons disability and savings from her passed husband I agree w what you say, but like most men I went into my marriage with blinders on thinking we were a team and my role would be respected not continually added to while being resented I think men often learn through rough experience
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 07:35 PM
5

I venmo support and any auxiliary stuff. I pay for my kids 1 recreational activity as agreed upon in our papers. Usually we agree upon a figure for Xmas/bday and split costs with that bc our kid comes up w a list. Also I often pay more for that bc of last minute things my kid wants and I cave on. I don’t really track it too much bc I know I pay more and always will considering her lifestyle.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 03:34 PM
12

Indeed. In fact, women know the job I have includes a pension. So many mention it after they find out where I work. But I’m no longer going to be a target. I’ve been fooled once and it’s time men like us get smart.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 02:08 PM
3

It doesn’t always come down to issues with our dads. My mom for instance was highly controlling and not nurturing at all. Had no empathy. Over time I learned that the woman I picked was kind of like a mixture of both of the bad issues my parents played out on me. Definitely the past repeats if we are not aware
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 11:21 AM
2

Though like many I also regret staying for so much longer, and paid a price via our divorce for it, looking at it positively: I have no doubt if I left when my kid was even younger the possibility of being iced out or alienated would have been way higher. I cemented a bond with my kid over that time period as a family and think they won't forget it.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 07:39 PM
11

Yep, reason number 12760 to never marry again
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 03:23 PM
2

She just really resented me after we had our kid. Postpartum, continual illnesses. I became her caretaker and I started resenting it. I worked long hours, she loved the money but resented me working. I did all the chores and upkeep, got no respect. I felt very disrespected and used, she felt she wasn’t loved but would lash out at me. No way for me to love in that atmosphere. I got severely depressed. Stayed for our kid. The writing was on the wall from the start. Maybe love exists but I know I w…
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 03:41 PM
34

“Run, kween Run” “dump his ass” “he just wanted a bang maid” I was the breadwinner, did majority of chores and cooking and child care. But still got lectured on emotional labor. Idk. Imo it’s just how women are these days in the age of social media. Addicted to dopamine and the next best thing. Unless they are hella stable in health which is rare, I just assume relationships are temporary. I’ll never get married again.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 02:55 PM
7

An additional issue with marriage is that it can become a sunk cost fallacy. Women typically date and marry higher earners. Men often feel they are doing their part in providing but when things go south often hear they did not get any respect for their hard work. When the prospect of divorce is looming men often do all they can to make it work. Key reasons being the marital wealth accrued is often largely distributed from the man. I also did not do enough, though I worked 6 days a week to her pa…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/06/25 05:26 PM
27

I wish my marriage would have worked out, but enduring the failure educated me to an incredible amount of disparity in our culture regarding men and fathers. Largely the court system, social media, friends you shared, all empower and support the woman going through divorce. All of which has impacted my Influence and time I spend with my daughter. Regarding marriage just keep in mind that one person can be all in and committed. It just takes one person in the marriage to not "feel right" at any t…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/06/25 03:42 PM
22

Seriously! When I worked an extra shift of all OT for extra cash for us I was “always at work” If I was tired and needed to rest I was lazy and checking out of the marriage I started an exercise routine “why don’t you have that energy for me” etc etc At some point I should have realized I could not win
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/25 12:14 AM
1

Idk, I should stop trying to :figure it out". I think I'm still in pain how my ex left me. 10 years and she met a long distance bf who she's now married. Has his picture up on the wall of our home before divorce was done. Shit hurts
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/25 03:24 PM
1

I'm not justifying what either party does, to me cheating is cheating. I just think the line of "they moved on long ago" is the justification used for the ethical grey areas some women enter into when initiating divorce. Also I'm sure men do the same I just don't hear it with the same frequency.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/25 12:08 PM
8

Holy shit this was me. Blue collar, worked a lot of 6 day weeks, long shifts. Proud to provide for our family. Busted my ass at home and was stellar with the kid but she was not satisfied. She knew what she was getting into with my job and the hours I worked. She liked the money and she stayed at home too, or took jobs and had the freedom to quit them when they weren't up to her perfect standards. It's just very hypocritical imo. To her I was "never around." So she built this superiority as the …
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/24 12:32 PM
8

I got it over as quick as can be and yes I did give up much more financially than I should have. But I felt I needed to for 4 reasons: 1. 1st and foremost i wanted an "amicable" relationship for our kids sake so played it off and gave the ex most of what she wanted. 2. She was fucking with my mental health and i needed to get the hell out, 3. she was so emotionally dysregulated I knew the longer it would go the worse she would behave and i dreaded the ideas she'd come up with, 4. If I fought we …
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 09:12 PM
3

The healing comes in waves. For me it’s been over a year. I feel leaps and bounds better but still have my down days. It took me nearly a year of heavy grief. Some stuff I may never recover from completely but I learn to live with like other bad or tragic things that happened to me in life. Just part of being a man, move on or be mowed down. Not trying to sound too negative, overall I feel good. However The divorce opened up a lot of stuff I learned about myself that I need to face and work on. …
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 02:01 AM
3

Oh yeah I only make small talk and will never say a word about her character or their relationship etc. Not my place at all.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 02:15 PM
8

Most definitely. I was used for a paycheck. Then she got some higher education that I helped finance and left me. I'm so much happier. Ironically she tells me about this guy and what he does for her and she thinks I'm jealous. It's the opposite. If we were still married I'd be strung along doing the same thing. She hates working and every job after 6 months she just has to quit. Even her Masters degree isn't the right one and she may want to go back and get more education. Just a black hole, man…
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 01:56 PM
8

She was waving red flags, I was lonely and a door mat type of guy. It was a brutal marriage. I worry about the younger generation of men (early 20s) who I hear are largely not dating or getting experience out there. When the time comes to start a family they could easily end up in a similar situation.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 10:36 PM
2

I learned in life not to run my mouth. It's not a good look. My Ex runs her mouth, controls the "story," in her circle of people. I just learned to not give a fuck. It's funny, my Ex was a shopaholic as well. I was like you. I enabled her. It's good to vent and be angry. I hear you and we are herr for it. But end of the day we all should look ourselves in the mirror. So imo best that you can eventually put the focus on your issues. Like for me, "why did I allow her to spend beyond our budget, wh…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 10:29 PM
4

Don't be a fool like me. Had a partner who told me she could not get pregnant and she also used 'birth control.' Surprise we had an unexpected pregnancy. Did the "right thing" got married. Stayed together a very long time, regret every year. She planned to divorce me from the start. Be wise do not be a sucker. Yes I was a fool but am wise now to what can happen
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/24 08:15 PM
3

I know man. I felt the same way. “We were never right for each other.” It will piss you off. To me, I like to look at it as a major lesson about trust. When a woman loses her emotional connection to you, it’s over. And that can be over anything at any time. Even what she says during your divorce may not be the full truth. It’s just “how she feels” at that time. Everything you’ve put into the relationship will not matter because she will be done and moved on.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 02:29 PM
2

Could say the same for you. Sad I wasted my mental health, time, money, prime of my life. Sad she will never be satisfied, teach our child to be this way through her actions. Sad my kid has to be in a home with a new guy, etc. Yes I'm relieved its over but it isn't fully over because it was and still is a part of my life. I'm still dealing with my part in all of this. Like why I put up with all of the chaos and what I gained.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 02:18 PM
8

You’re not alone. Found out my ex fell out of love with me after our child was born 1 year into our marriage of 10 years. The resentment was apparent. But I went through 10 years of struggle. Her impulsive spending putting us into bankruptcy, me working overtime to subsidize our life, her working part time or not at all, then ultimately supporting her masters degree…then her immediately telling me we are just friends after she graduates. Lesson learned. Ironically she has a new guy she’s marryin…
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 01:55 PM
9

I work in a somewhat wealthier town where I know most every family. Been doing it for over 15 years. Divorce seems rare there. I live close by but in a lower economic area. Single parents are way more common. All of my kids friends are from divorced families. I never heard stats by “class” and this is just just from observation. Seems interesting though
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 11:35 AM
8

One year out. Whenever I think of dating it doesn't feel right. I feel like I "had my family" and don't want to start anything new. I don't want to complicate things or compromise ever again. I am also too cautious and don't want to be used again. This time for my retirement or to be a step dad. I'm done making the big time sacrifices and feeling unstable so a woman can coast on what I bring to her life. When any moment she can change her mind. Ex is now preparing for her 3rd marriage. I just do…
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 03:05 AM
4

Absolutely, love being solo and will never cohabitate or marry again
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 11:22 PM
8

I hear that all loud and clear but considering I only see this guy at pick ups getting my son it just seems unclear how she expects me to be a gregarious icebreaker. Hence why I feel this is needless drama. I’m focused on getting my son. Maybe over time we can talk more I guess. I honestly would like to see her happy. Ironically I feel like the most respectful way is to keep distance from their relationship and him at the moment. Because I don’t want to say something that will cause drama or the…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 08:53 PM
7

I'm coming up on a year divorced and am still loving being solo. Loving the peace and quiet and serving my minimal needs. But I am a major introvert and was married to a big time extrovert with ADHD. So it was non stop talking, drama and chaos. Pretty much the opposite of who I should have been with. I think I need a lot of time to heal. My goals and the things I want to experience in life currently do not align with dating anyway. I want to exercise, hike, watch old movies, read, etc. Women wan…
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 11:07 AM
3

Cheap protein: lentils, tofu. For carnivores: tuna is somewhat cheap. Get chicken on sale buy in bulk when sale is on. Rice, potatoes, get frozen broccoli. I eat a lot of cabbage bc its cheap and lasts long in fridge.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 10:58 PM
3

They are spying on your ass bro
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 09:07 PM
8

This hits hard Before my divorce, when I started working out again she lost it multiple times. "You have all this energy to go work out but none for ME!?" Instead of complimenting how I am working on my health (and seeing me as leading by example because she had gained weight) she made it about humiliating me and about how I am a failure in her eyes.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 11:05 AM
5

I felt I stayed in the marriage out of obligation, I did want our child to have an intact family. But once the cat was out of the bag and she said she wanted divorce there was no turning back. After the hell of separation and getting a taste of peace theres no way I'd become a martyr again. Nope
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/24 07:36 PM
3

In exchange for me paying off less of some of the marital debt, she kept the equity. I wanted my kid to still have the home at least part time. The equity in it was not massive. It was my savings account for retirement that took the biggest hit.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 07:54 PM
6

Exactly. Or as soon as we got the tax deduction “let’s knock down this wall to make the kitchen open concept” lmao
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 07:19 PM
14

Lost my house, lost half time with my kid, another man with his own child is in my former family home sleeping in the bed I bought, lost half my retirement account…in my hindsight I look back at the “new relationship energy/honeymoon phase” when I first fell in love with her and I think was it worth it all? Hell no. After the honeymoon phase wore off and we became parents she flipped a switch and hated me. Worth it for my kid but that is all. Most of the marriage outside of being a father became…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 04:34 PM
14

How GD naive I was. I was in so much denial. Was not prepared for a divorce or what divorce means for a man because of this denial. It was evident we would not work out from the beginning. I had my head in the sand and the sacrificial provider/caretaker role nearly killed me.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 11:40 PM
9

Yep stay out of it. Especially some people (bored old moms in particular) they like to play both sides to stir up drama. Don’t mean to sound paranoid but she could be talking shit about your ex’s new guy to get you to say some trash of your own. Voila she goes running to both of them. She’d deny what she said too lol. Then new drama started. Good job staying out of it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 09:28 PM
5

Yeah very similar. She had a very low opinion of what men bring to the table and to this day still thinks I am a dad partially to avoid paying child support, etc. Which couldn't be further from the truth. Like if I didn't care to be a dad I would have left a decade ago.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 02:42 PM
3

Seriously, laughing has been key in between the tears. The other day I watched this Steve Trevino stand up special all about how guys “speak wife” and just laughed happy to no longer be married putting up with the bullshit he was talking about. Here it is https://youtu.be/hhQGSvTwKEk?si=zNPRQfqzP8CAb36p
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 02:51 AM
3

We also paid the Troll Toll to get out of our girls soul
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 01:40 AM
3

Goodbye Stranger- supertramp Rocket man Elton John The Gambler Kenny Rogers She got the gold mine I got the shaft Jerry Reed Love TKO, I Don’t Love u anymore Teddy Pendergrass Atlantis - Isley Brothers
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 10:52 PM
14

There’s plenty of red flags to choose from, but a lot of people in here have experienced behavior changes immediately after the wedding or long after sinking into commitment. Then you are screwed once again. My thoughts are it is not worth it. Especially if you already have kids and are split custody.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 12:24 AM
7

Lol, I tend to be private on social media. Maybe I should have a public glow up
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 03:15 PM
4

What is a Facebook dad? Do you mean showing off that you are doing well as a single dad?
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 02:59 PM
1

I understand. We lose a lot in divorce. Just try and be kind to yourself and take it day by day. It takes a lot of time. I’m nearly a year out and the time has helped to heal a lot. You will get there.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 11:45 PM
10

My ex, I have since learned had really bad ADHD. She craved the dopamine from the "honeymoon phase" of a relationship. AKA the man is 24/7 romantic, worshipping, etc. When that dopamine wore off I was the enemy. Didn't matter what I did. To me it felt like I was carrying the responsibilities of the home while she sat there with her arms crossed. If I tried to have a conversation about it I was "mansplaining." Where did she find support? Feminists subs, tik tok videos, etc etc. Started weaponizin…
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 02:59 PM
4

It’s funny that my kids parents who are acquainted with her are all like “how did you survive being with her, she’s high maintenance etc” people with a brain can discern if you are a rational person. Her friends or family? They are a lost cause! Of course she controls the narrative with our friends (my former ones) but to me they can all fuck off if they believe her B-movie victim tale Her best friend literally got hastily engaged to a man and it didn’t work out. In the end I found out she seduc…
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 01:24 PM
8

Let me just say I’ve been there. I hear you and I know it’s hard. I’m sharing from someone who is nearly a year out from divorce. It will get better. What has helped is I have gotten to the point that I don’t give a damn what she thinks. She can put all the blame on me, tell all her friends (some of them my former friends) all the lies. She can put a billboard on the freeway that I am the world’s biggest asshole. I know the truth, I know my side and I’m comfortable with that. I am a man and can …
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 12:23 PM
2

Thats why I joined the sub, until I realized it was full of women as angry as my ex. Who needs that? 🤣
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 03:20 PM
14

I was on a sub called "single and happy" and there was a thread yesterday that was like "are more men unhappy being single and what can be done about it" It was literally around 500 posts by women just trashing men for being completely incompetent. Like men can't do any housework so they need a woman after divorce, etc etc Any men that spoke up got down voted. Every toxic post by a woman was upvoted. They literally all said the same thing
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 07:33 PM
23

My marriage and divorce was a financial disaster for me. Lost a ton of money and I didn’t come from money, I worked for it all. I still have kids to raise and I’m going to do it smart. My money will also be theirs, not another woman’s. They need a future. I’m not motivated to even date at all. I will never be motivated to marry, I just feel it in my bones. Marriage took a massive toll on my mental health too. Divorce made it ten times worse!
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 11:14 PM
8

I played guitar for years, but picked up a Bass guitar and it’s revitalized my love for music. I’m rediscovering old music by listening for the bass lines which I often ignored, and finding lots of new music to love. It’s challenging and a lot of fun. Can definitely lead to social opportunities as well, as I like making music with people. Also, I’ve been watching a lot of movies. Especially movies I watched as a teenager (old horror, sci fi, foreign films, etc). It takes me back to a better time…
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 11:12 AM
12

Nope. In fact, the other week she casually said I divorced her when we were talking. Which was definitely not the case! The emotions have been taken out of all of it but the delusion and the gaslighting remains strong.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 11:02 AM
4

I was not appreciated either. Worked myself ragged for years to support us. Blue collar work. I was an engaged father and did most of the housework. But continually heard “I was never around!” As if I ABANDONED her and my kid…it was so hurtful to hear even though it was untrue, she said it over and over. As if I was having the time of my life as the bread maker.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 11:11 PM
28

So much anxiety and stress disappeared after no more constant demands to fill her emotional void. I can finally budget because I don’t have an online shopaholic spending down to the penny that I earned biweekly. I’m a lot more cheerful and social. I felt burdened by her presence and could not be myself in public with her a lot. I literally feel like a different person. Sometimes I just sit in silence and peace and feel content. I hadn’t had moments like this at all during the decade I was with h…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 04:11 AM
3

Very true, thank you
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/23 02:25 PM
9

Thanks, I needed to hear this
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/23 02:25 PM
1

I’m slim fit, I do calisthenics but not a lot of muscle yet
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 07:40 PM
3

Just have to cross my fingers. We’ve been amicable recently but during the separation she of course blamed me for everything and monkey branched, etc. if things don’t work in her favor you know who she thinks can be the fall guy. Guess I will have to continue my vigilance.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/23 09:03 PM
1

Thankfully alimony was waived. But I’m concerned about child support adjustments and other possible BS. Would definitely get an attorney if there is some drama upcoming.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/23 08:04 PM
1

She suggested we switch contraceptive methods from condoms to her contraception. She also told me she could not get pregnant. Well, immediately she got pregnant. I thought it would be embarrassing to have a child out of wedlock. I thought it best as a man to step it up and provide, take it to the next level. All I can say is that it has been a rough ride.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 06:45 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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