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CSQUITO Archive

View 14 posts and 398 comments by CSQUITO on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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6

I think the sub called ask men over thirty had an age bracket descriptor, so 18-25, 25-35, 35-45, 45-60, and 60+
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 07:29 PM
7

I think the age thing is a good idea. It also helps to flag for generational-appropriate advice
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 07:23 PM
2

It’s fine seriously, you’re allowed to phrase it how you want, you don’t have to feel bad about it or justify it, its just a pointer I had to put out. You can tell there are people from western culture here who do hold extreme stereotypes here - such as one who said she’s “okay” if it’s tone deaf if it means that peolple from misogynistic cultures don’t end up getting murdered/raped etc. You’re free to share what you want, it’s just a discussion starter and my two cents :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 06:47 PM
-1

I already said - it’s not that any of the points are wrong, it’s more how you framed it in the title. It’s super detailed and I’m sure you meant well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 06:22 PM
-4

I totally understand - I’m not a american. I‘m british with dual heritage from two non western cultures besides being british. And I can say that “non western men are more prone” to the things mentioned in that post, because I know while men from one side of my culture are, the other side is the complete opposite. Seriously, I feel like western culture and media makes out that most non western cultures are pretty much the same, or orbit around western cultures are various distances. It really is…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 04:57 PM
4

Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 04:50 PM
14

Well put - you don’t have to do harm to stand your ground. That’s why assertiveness is so stigmatised - people assume that you have to be tyrannical in order to have boundaries,
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 04:49 PM
-3

I have come across some of the issues, but your title comes across a bit tone deaf. I’m also not devaluing your experiences, but I really don’t think you can speak for alllll non western cultures. Seriously there are so many cultural values and differences and your title advises “non western men need to be more heavily scrutinised”. I’m a woman of colour with dual cultural heritage, and I still wouldn’t speak for all non western women. It’s just something you have to be careful of, especially wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 04:29 PM
-30

I’m sorry but this is a huge blanket prejudice against basically all non western cultures. “Fresh off the boat” is such a xenophobic and tone deaf term. There are millions of non western cultures and only one western culture. So the (roughly) two cultures you are familiar with, and your empiricism with that, doesn’t qualify you to speak to all non western cultures. Western men and western dating style is not better or safer than other cultures, even though your experiences with men of your own c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 04:12 PM
1

Also @ the edit: That’s pretty obvious. I addressed that throughout this post. Which is why I don’t see the point in heirarchising/labelling and demoting. It’s not about feminist theory or status value, it’s about dating strategy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 04:06 PM
0

You had other points too - which I already addressed. There is nuance to some of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 04:03 PM
0

I just feel like it is still poorly managed or inconsistent, probably reflecting differences between moderators understanding of terms such as “excessive sympathy”, or simply lack of experience or understanding dealing with different cultures, abuse, financial situations, nuance etc. For example I was a disciple after a few days and then maybe a few weeks later I was a pick me, literally because of one post. That has nothing to do with consistent poor advice. In fact while I was a “pick me” I th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 04:02 PM
-2

My point is there is nuance - what constitutes “excessive sympathising”? A mod here told me she was a pick me herself! That’s really worrying it shows that moderators can’t agree (or don’t even know) what the term even means. It is fully to do with abusive relationships and value (I don’t think I mentioned class). A demotion is a devaluation. And “excessive sympathy” is probably a result of emotional manipulation which is abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 03:52 PM
61

Wtf. I’ve experienced this too. Guys trying to mansplain your own feelings towards them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 03:48 PM
2

I think overall the labels don’t really mean anything. I was also demoted, but it seems petty and superior/controlling to label people in general, so I personally don’t get it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 02:43 PM
0

Well yes, but whether it jeans earned is really besides the point. It’s more about what constitutes the labels, and if they’re reasonable, justified or effective. Plus not all newbies are actually new, sometimes the moderators “demote” people too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 02:40 PM
4

No not in my opinion - believe they’ve already changed it since this post, but if the objective of this community is to help women, and therefore the beliefs and expectations of the community is to help women, then shame is a deplorable tactic. Furthermore, I’m just trying to get into the mind of someone who is trying to use shame at all as part of a dating strategy community. It seems toxic, and there’s no way the mods can argue that they were shaming people because they “cared so much”, or “re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 02:25 PM
8

✅✅✅✅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 01:30 PM
2

Wtfff
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 01:30 PM
5

Exactly! spiritually we all have equal innate value. I’ve seen people make bad decisions in dating that I wouldn’t make, but I never thought I was high value because of that. It’s seems like a superiority complex to label someone with a degrading term, and I’m yet to see a justification as to how it is effective.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 01:20 PM
5

I had it for a while for admitting I hurt a guy - and that was flagged for “Male sympathy”. It just seems like an immature approach to me and it indicates that some mods don’t fully understand the meaning of “pick me” in the first place. A mod on this thread just admitted to being a pick me herself as well as labelling people ‘pick me’. How does that make any sense in any dimension of space and time?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 01:17 PM
2

These labels are not at all about experience. There is absolutely no legitimacy about them, plus if you look at the comment history of some of the “ruthless strategists”, they’re recently out of toxic relationships, or have had several. That doesn’t make you more experienced, more wise or more expert. I feel that while ruthless strategist is mostly harmless, the pick me probation is still completely useless. Let’s take your own explanation of the term - let’s say it’s to tell people to give them…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 01:13 PM
4

But cheating, flakiness, and any of the “bs” you say you hate seeing encouraged — all of that is abuse. You don’t need to be beat up to be abused. You have to understand the “silly questions” you condescend are a result of abuse or simply hypothetical. This place is about discussion and strategy - there’s no gospel truth on the way a woman should date, and if there was, who could claim expertise to that knowledge. You should also lappreciate the possibility that based on you’re own experiences/t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 01:07 PM
3

Exactly don’t even get me started on the term “high value”. We all know “value” is a sliding scale, but people use the word like a badge or status. If anything, nothing is more “pick me” than considering yourself to be objectively “high value” over other women. It just doesn’t work like that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 12:47 PM
6

Exactly - it just doesn’t feel right
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 12:23 PM
1

Still sad because she’s stopping that low
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 12:09 PM
6

Exactly. It’s the alienation/antagonism which takes away from this sub. It just seems like a less mature way to handle things
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 12:09 PM
1

Ah I see. That’s sad for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 12:03 PM
1

But after all these years, there must be a reason. Does she not have a good job, or does she have a child? Is she in a relationship etc,
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 11:52 AM
2

That’s not “better”, that’s extremely superficial. Money, anyone can earn. Career is hard work. Looks are kind of generic but also style. And conversation skills aren’t a talent. It’s forcing yourself to be sociable and confident. I feel so many people here on FDS list these superficial values as “HVM”. That’s a recipe to attract shallow people and relationships. The fact that you’re considering not dating him because he has good attribute is not good at all! Seriously if he had worse conversati…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 11:51 AM
1

I’m not sure, but usually when guys keep going back to the girl or won’t cut contact, it’s because they either know they messed the girl up, or because they keep trying to win their approval after having their ego bruised early on in the relationship. That’s why he won’t commit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 11:48 AM
3

I think you have to have low self esteem to think (if you haven’t done anything wrong hurtful or immoral) that anyone is better than you. Better how? Money, experience, looks, character, maturity, upbringing, mental health, lineage? So many ways people can be “better”. I think you should aim to date someone you admire. Because respect is always mutual and respect can’t be faked. They should inspire you to be more
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 06:20 AM
17

Gosh 99% had no thoughts or opinions, and the few who did were plain scared of their own liberation and the independence which would come with it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 06:14 AM
75

What a twat, I’m just sad she had his kid. Too much porn makes men think that rape isn’t real and that women must enjoy it somehow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 05:58 AM
1

So what’s the history with the side chick. Sounds like his ego was bruised
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 04:05 AM
6

Why tf doesn’t he go to the side chick??! 9 yrs damn that’s the Male ego for you, they just can’t admit anything to themselves
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/19 07:18 PM
95

Omg 😹😹😹 PASTA IN THE FRIDGE! AN ITALIAN?!!!!??? What Italian offers a woman REFRIGERATED PASTA mamma Mia
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/19 03:52 AM
1

I agree, in every experience of online dating the guys have been really troubled
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/19 12:24 AM
12

It’s hard to know until you’ve done it with a crush and realise it’s not what you want. Sometimes you don’t even realise they’re a crush in the first place. He did sort of lead her on with all the PDA etc. In my opinion I wouldn’t do any of that with someone I didn’t know well
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 10:12 PM
19

This really sucks because the mutual friends are rubbish. Seriously ladies, report cheating to your friend. It’s only more embarrassing for them when they find out that everyone knew,
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 07:43 PM
1

It’s just not my thing, but as I said if it works for you thats fine. It’s just something I choose to draw the line on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 07:31 PM
6

Hmm that’s a good point, now might be the part where it gets worse before it gets better. But social relations aside, I’m not even sure there will be humans in 150 years. If the facts about the environment and resources are true, there will hardly be anyone left in 200 years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 07:05 PM
1

You can’t demand though! Why waste time demanding when at the end of the day, people will only change when they’re ready. You simply can’t demand or expect a 20 year old to act like you, unless of course you’re less mature for your age. There are guys out there who you don’t need to make those demands. Seriously, while you’re demanding, they’re just chilling, either doing as you say, or refusing. I can’t imagine living like that, I have bigger fish to fry. Simply accepting that a guy is too imma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 07:00 PM
14

It’s too late. I think it’s really economic. And patriarchy is deep rooted. The best we could do is get more women into positions of power, honestly. Change legislation, change corporate culture, and hope for a positive trickle-down of improved values. But seriously I think society is fucked forever. From the environment to the family unit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 06:40 PM
18

Blocking isn’t necessary (unless you’re being harassed), I feel like blocking just shows you don’t trust yourself not to ignore their potential texts. You can just not text him again IMO
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 05:25 PM
1

True, they should be responsible for their decisions but at the end of the day, he wasn’t mature enough to be honest. Wishing or expecting a 20 year old guy to be mature is unreasonable. Even with this guy who was quite mature.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 05:16 PM
1

There’s still more to, at least for me. Sexual chemistry isn’t too hard to find, and caring about someone is easy. With those two checked, being exclusive is just a word, promising that you aren’t going to have sex with other people. It doesn’t mean you’re actually compatible, or you have shared values, shared world views. But there’s so much more to commitment than sex. First of all there’s no guarantee that they care about you. Secondly caring about someone is more than just wanting to see the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 05:13 PM
4

I had this experience too. When I said I needed more time and didn’t want to rush, he slowly turned into a different person. I think if you smell the top much charisma, trust your gut. I wish I did
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 04:17 PM
2

Plus of course you can accidentally exploit someone! Have you never been in a bad place, and led someone on without thinking? It’s easy to do. It doesn’t matter how transparent you are with your intentions, a young guy can still fail to understand the complexity of it all. We all learn to compartmentalise feelings and not let them cloud our judgement. For example, as a recently experienced with someone my age, the guy agreed he wanted to be casual, but wanted to use that to convince me to be ser…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 02:17 PM
3

Woah... okay first of all there were no accusations. I didn’t say anything about anyone feeling guilt, and I didn’t say it was predatory. Secondly I didn’t say anything about fuckboys, and I don’t actually think that’s relevant before the age of 20. All I’m saying (and I know plenty of people agreed), is that if you learned anything at all from your dating experiences aged 17-23 (basically college age years), then you know it’s 99% certainty that dating someone who is a teenager is a bad decisio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 01:57 PM
2

Why would a 23 year old date a teenager. That seems ridiculous to me. Have you seen most 19 year olds? They’re a mess they literally just left home for the first time. I personally can hardly date guys my exact age. Plus if you’re dating someone who’s a teenager or recently been a teenager, what can they actually bring to the relationship? Think of all the things you learned from 17-21, they haven’t experienced any of it. You could end up exploiting them emotionally and sexually. Plus you even s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 01:05 PM
2

Honestly don’t sweat. I’m 20, my goal now is to be wined and dined (not in a flashy tacky way, but chivalry basically)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 03:44 AM
1

Stingy garbage waste of space
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 03:41 AM
3

Lol if I was on that date I’d stay silent, until he politely asks to split. I would never take the whole bill, and I’d want him to try other options before asking me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 03:39 AM
5

So creepy - once again within an hour he transformed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 03:33 AM
4

Yes we had a case of that at my high school. A coach who was very young (only 21) and a girl who was 15 I think. Still pedophilia. However my school was an all girls boarding school teeming with pedophiles, honestly it was terrifying
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 03:31 AM
7

But 18/19 is a teenager. You’re actually more likely to damage them because you’re more likely to effectively be using them for sex/looks/lack of baggage, which can wind up exploitative
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 03:15 AM
13

Yep, I think 35-40 is when younger guys must be appealing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 03:13 AM
3

Exactly, they have no idea they’re inexperienced.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 03:09 AM
14

They really don’t. It’s so strange
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 03:07 AM
3

This is creepy. They laid it all out and it’s just hypothetical
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 03:06 AM
9

Yes I told the guy I wanted something casual. He went from being all over me to being like “I don’t have to reply to you immediately if we’re not serious”. He also used to compliment me often and towards the end the best he had was “your bitmoji is hot”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 03:02 AM
3

You have to peek!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 03:00 AM
8

I’ve been wanting to make a post about it for a while, but I just don’t want to expose it to the Male lurkers lol. I’ll probably drop it in the chat
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 02:54 AM
35

Omg she sounds like she’s describing an infant 🤢🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 02:51 AM
76

I’m screaming at the fact that he roamed around a café and was reported
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 02:28 AM
2

Wtf, foolishness. He actually thought that could work
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 02:23 AM
8

Honestly, I’m sharing a flat with two boys and yes. Boys are ridiculous. I would be ashamed to live as they do. From admin to household organisation to health and safety, they’re ashambles. If I didn’t live with them they would have died of food poisoning and the apartment would have burned down by now. There have legitimately been three appliance explosions in the past week (from the same exact broken appliance which I told them never to use again), which caused a power cut which none of them b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 02:22 AM
5

Thank you! I’ve actually been poetry storming these past few days, I guess it paid off hahah
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 02:13 AM
63

I’m pretty sure a guy HATED my guts because I flaked on him hard when we first met. When we reconnected he was so full of anger it was scary. My gut eventually told me I didn’t want to have sex with him, because he just seemed so strangely confused. Maybe this is what he wanted with me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 02:12 AM
15

Exactly, it’s actually also a very painful experience thinking that no one wants to get to know you. It feels frustrating and limiting and a huge sexual turn off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/19 09:29 PM
2

Yep - I instinctively do this, and I think it’s for the best
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/19 08:36 PM
4

These cavemen don’t even seem to understand how biology works
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/19 08:30 PM
2

Most men will try to get with you using friendship as a vehicle. Don’t take Male friendships too seriously.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/19 08:29 PM
9

Same. I would rather cook rice one grain at a time. I feel like the date younger advice is for women in their 40s, because as far as I’ve seen most men are babies until 35.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/19 08:27 PM
10

That’s first paragraph is very true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/19 08:25 PM
14

I read somewhere on another post that men think women are automatically lying (lying about sexual history, body count, and even your attraction to them). They have this insecurity which is why they have to chase in order to function. It’s probably an ego boost for them to assume the worst( e.g you don’t like them, you’re interested in someone else, you’re not attracted to men altogether), and then feel like they won you over (e.g. made you like them, dropped your other options for them, and beca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/19 08:25 PM
42

I really don’t get it, but it’s either one of two things. They used to think you were pure and they were “corrupting” you by chasing you. It sounds ridiculous but men do often have a very one track vision about who you are, especially if they like you and are attracted to you. They’ll assume you’re innocent and perfect. I’m sure every girl has experienced it when the guy goes a little quiet if you answer questions about your last relationship. It’s because they genuinely thought you only existed…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/19 08:20 PM
32

People don’t teach their daughters anything I swear. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. She saw all his flaws and wasn’t even attracted to him, but then he started “talking about philosophy”. Right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/19 08:14 PM
37

Hey I’m going to say something different. Okay, yes, some guys won’t escalate anything with you if they don’t find you attractive. But just because you’re not the prettiest girl in the room won’t mean you’re ugly. Self care grooming and style can go such a long way. Plus guys who think like this (that pretty girls don’t have interesting conversation), often don’t try for anything more than sex with those pretty girls. If you’re average looking you probably have the best chances. Plus “ugly” guys…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/19 08:13 PM
1

What is “the worst”. Even if she had sex with double the people she implied, guys never judge other girls the same way
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/19 01:02 AM
12

There are a lot of cult minded sheeple on reddit - most mods on most subs ban “speaking out”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/19 03:59 AM
37

You’re not stupid- So many men are just raised with shit manners. I’m not sure what the context is, but some generic advice I have is, you don’t always have to date. Take some time to yourself, heal by yourself, date yourself, have fun with friends etc
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/19 03:57 AM
3

I get that. But don’t feel like it has to be a “bad gut feeling” in order for you to walk away. Sometimes it’s just not good enough, and you need to move on to something better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/19 03:46 AM
6

I agree - but only that, girls seeking orgasms and nothing less is still sex positivity! The literature that sparked the sex positivity movement was actually highly advanced and on board with your own conclusions here. Writers like Germaine Greer, Hélène Cixous, Gloria Steinem and Betty Friedan all wrote about sex positivity and female dating strategy as early as the 60s. I really recommend that every woman reads some early feminist literature - it’s more relevant than ever and really recalibrat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/19 03:27 AM
9

This logic 😹 as if women aren’t more competent than men! Most men don’t even eat like adults
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/19 03:16 AM
8

Looool I love how they truly think men are funnier 😹😹
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/19 03:13 AM
20

I don’t think so. I’m never fully bald, and I’ve still had possible porn sick guys go down on me without hesitation. I do think generally though that fear of pubic hair is just immature
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/19 03:11 AM
7

I’m my opinion, he’s being honest. But he probably has self esteem and doesn’t know how to show up for himself. Remember he’s almost 40 - this is very immature of him and shows he doesn’t have confidence, and doesn’t understand the importance of time in adult life. To me, it sounds like he’s not worth it. Even though you’re vocal about your boundaries and disappointment, you’re closing the gap for him. He should be the one to take initiatives, to text before you have to call him out etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/19 03:10 AM
2

Ugh yes I’m all for a third gender
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/19 11:39 PM
1

Exactly! I’m saying this coming from a country which hasn’t yet legislated against a lot of sexism/homophobia etc. It is still a privilege to have sexual liberation, the drawbacks are just the baggage from the past (hundreds of years of oppression) which we haven’t yet corrected.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/19 11:38 PM
2

Truly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/19 11:36 PM
3

A few people did end their relationship with him and told me to report him. But I still think there’s a stigma around rapists and the majority of people are cowards, and don’t actually have their own values. It sounds harsh to say, but that is how most tragedies in history have taken place. It’s not that the bad people were so powerful, it’s that the good people weren’t strong enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/19 11:36 PM
0

I still think all of this is coming from a fairly privileged point of view. If you’ve ever lived in a different culture you will know. I don’t think the sexual liberation movement is the cause of the issues we have today, I think it’s just baggage from history. For example, while women were liberated, nothing was done to make sure that men were taught ANYTHING.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/19 11:33 PM
3

I THOUGHT THE TITLE WAS KIDDING! where the hell can I purchase a taser?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/19 07:53 PM
9

It’s usually when you realise that they never grow up and they’re slipping into old age babyhood
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/19 06:50 PM
10

Lollllll this is so many first dates I’ve had. One guy was planning the third date on the walk back from the first date of “mememmeme”. He also insisted on holding hands and told me it was a terrific first date and he couldn’t wait to see me again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/19 06:49 PM
10

Lol “I’m sane”.. if you ever need to announce your sanity, you can’t possibly be sane
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/19 06:46 PM
1

Lol yes I’ve heard of these. Kegels work fine too if you have a sensitive vagina. Out of interest, why and how was he a sociopath?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/19 06:44 PM
4

Glad that it went well! Just spreading the word, HVM is a redundant term. If it was an objective truth, then all HVM would be taken. Value, high or low, is a sliding scale. Unless they’re evidently low, there’s not always a clear sign they’re high value (don’t think money, looks, or hobbies make a man high value, even though poverty, ugliness, and boringness night make a man low value). What matters is whether the guy is of high value to you. It’s actually mostly subjective
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/19 06:41 PM
-12

No - women are able to have sex freely. You’re suggesting this from a position of privilege and retrospect. Imagine being seen alone with a guy too many times and then word spreading across your town that you were a whore (that was the 1800s). Also imagine having to marry whoever you first had sex with because you were pregnant and that was just how it was done (1950s). Today is definitely better for us, although we have our own challenges. I do agree that people get misled into thinking fucking…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/19 06:36 PM
1

Oops yeah autocorrect. I am referring to pretty girls so maybe not relevant to you (just based on what you told me)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/19 06:32 PM
10

Wait for him to chase you for attractive people and attract way too many people. I do believe in holding off once you know you have his attention, but I do believe pretty girls will often have to steer themselves to the right one. Guys can also be really dense about you getting loads of attention. Even if you don’t respond, they can start to imagine you’re slutty or feel entitled.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/19 06:17 PM
46

This works if you’re attractive, but only to an extent. I do really believe there are ways to make the first move without the guy even realising, and from there he thinks he made the first move.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/19 05:56 PM
12

He knows he sucks
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/19 05:31 PM
75

Omg 19 minute transformation
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/19 05:28 PM
13

It can be cultural aspects. If you stick to you’re exact culture and socioeconomic status and race, you might find fewer issues, because a lot of the filtering has already been done. That’s something I’ve noticed, people who date within their specific culture tend to have more successful relationships - besides if one of the people is a dick, the breakup is usually caused by character compatibility rather than different values.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/19 04:50 AM
5

Two fools
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/19 04:41 AM
16

Oh god. So true. And if it’s not an ex, then it’s because their fathers treated their mother’s that way, or somehow they’ve normalised the bad behaviour
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/19 12:47 AM
68

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 They’re meant to be together. Actually I’m happy they’re together. People like this should stay together it makes things easier for the rest of us
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/19 11:46 PM
13

Even the way he typed that garbage was so victimy that’s disgusting
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/19 08:24 PM
12

Omg I would’ve so angry. I can’t even begin to describe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/19 08:18 PM
21

I think they mean that the urban dictionary definition was written by someone from FDS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/19 08:17 PM
2

Huge stereotype - but I have to say (I might be biased) but lawyers so far have been amazing in bed in my experience
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/19 08:11 PM
2

I had this - great sex, cat pics, but bad overall attitude
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/19 08:10 PM
9

OMG the word grope is actually in his vernacular. Like he probably tells his pals he “groped a chick”. Imagine being such a caveman. That’s like saying “I molested” or “i fondled”... he doesn’t even realise it’s a seedy word
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/19 02:42 AM
7

I feel like 99% of the time the guy wants more or would have sex if he could. The girl might too. Or the friendship isn’t really genuine and it’s more like acquaintances who spend a lot of the same time in the same social circle. I’ve heard of some genuine childhood friends etc but not much past this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/19 02:14 AM
6

Gosh he’s so dumb! How creepy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/19 02:12 AM
9

Hilarious but true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/19 02:09 AM
21

I actually really agree with this. Sometimes girls don’t want relationships for their own reasons, and guys never believe it until you shove it in their face
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/19 02:08 AM
14

First of all - I’ll keep saying this so as many people see it. A high value woman is not something objective. You only need to be of high value to yourself. A high value man is also not objective - he only needs to be of high value to you. Secondly - by no means are you too old. It’s never too late to start. Make a short 5 year plan, and map out where you want to be, where your interests are, how much money you want to earn, whether you want to be remarried or have kids etc. Write it all down, a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/19 02:05 AM
2

I love how you’ve decided you know me! Calm down hun. You dumb af, I’m british, I’m not really white, I’m not Christian. Your stereotypes are shocking. I don’t think anyone ever in my life has told me to be classy. Also aren’t you Roman Catholic?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 04:23 AM
2

I use that word on men all the time. But I’m sorry rude is rude. That’s it. I actually commented on this thread as normal but you decided to write me a paragraph with lots of whining so I decided to break it down for you. And you seemed preoccupied with intelligence - that’s also sad and unnecessary
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 03:29 AM
12

This is sad. You can tell really early on if someone is a person you want to date
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 03:10 AM
16

If it’s committed and long term, yes split. Doesn’t have to be an equal split but still split. Some people say never ever split but you have to think about he implications if financial imbalance. What you’re providing to the relationship etc. A few people on one side of the spectrum here will probably be like “oh he’s lucky to be there in the first place he should take what he gets and just pay the full thing”. But if you’re not paying for anything it could get murky, and you could attract a con…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 03:07 AM
4

Use your own judgement for this one, I think. People on the internet don’t know the full conversation, context and all of the little details. Sometimes you need to figure it out yourself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 03:04 AM
3

You don’t even have comprehension skills. First of all I did not say that women aren’t hampered - that’s a no brainier when it comes to having to pay to childcare etc (if you want kids in thee first place). You sound bitter - all I’m reading is “women are suffering so I deserve to lash out at them with the justification that I care deep down and it’s tough love”. Um no, you’re just being rude online and no one is going to give your oh so excellent advice a second look. And finally I’m 20, you do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 02:54 AM
2

Okay, you’re entitled to your own frustrations but projecting is emotionally immature and an ineffective way to get the point across. You’re taking out your anger on these women which is strange and counterproductive. Try to be more civil about it - take your anger out towards men if anyone. Not on the women who are already hampered as you put it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 02:07 AM
2

You don’t have manners, I’m sorry 😹😹 You were being really defensive, and it was so uncalled for. Her reply was not a “rant” either
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 01:44 AM
2

If you don’t have the answer you don’t need to tell someone to “snap out of it” Jesus! 😹😹😹 It’s a completely valid question and there are many ways to invest, from buying an apartment in the right part of town, to buying art, to literally investing in shares, trading currencies, buying gold, vintage etc
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 01:42 AM
6

While finance pays, I wouldn’t advise just to go into finance. You could make just as much money if you go into the right sector for you. Yes it would probably have to be business or law related, but finance is definitely not the only way!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 01:40 AM
1

Okay! That’s your opinion I guess but plenty of others agreed. It just sounded off. Preferences and worthiness is different- Hugely different. That’s my only point here
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 01:37 AM
1

Apart from when they refuse to leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 01:34 AM
40

The way he kissed you. Some guys don’t know how to kiss and try to grind, kiss neck too hard, give hickeys, grab boobs. Some guys think boob grabbing actually does something for us 😭😭 I feel the way he uses his hands, and looks at you when he kisses, the way he uses his tongue, if he bites etc. Also if he watches you react and then responds appropriately. He probably eats the P good too ;)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 01:33 AM
2

😭😭no chlorophyll to be seen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 01:31 AM
111

Lol I’m low key for snooping - I feel like unless you have long term issues with paranoia the urge to snoop is a gut feeling. The stories I hear about sudden snooping urges or random gut feelings always turn out to be justified.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 01:30 AM
2

I mentioned standards in another comment. Once again, I’m saying there’s nothing wrong with preferences - I’m 5ft 10 and I won’t date a guy under 6ft. That’s a preference. What’s wrong is the little elves comment. She said she didn’t know why people are giving her a hard time about it. The answer to that is because it sounds like a superiority complex when she refers to them in a diminutive term like that. Furthermore no one sane would ever call a short person a little elf to their face, reason …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 01:25 AM
5

Omg
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 12:41 AM
20

Dumb - not even because he’s splitting the bill, but the fact that he’s not even taking initiative to pay, and he’s pushing that onto you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 12:37 AM
2

I don’t think it’s bad or good. If it’s best for her then she should do it. I can’t know how it must feel to decide you’ve given up on love or marriage, but I imagine it’s not easy in the first place
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 12:35 AM
1

Standards were mentioned literally everywhere. most people agree, it’s just a shitty attitude. It sounded like a superiority complex rather than her being confident in her preferences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/19 11:44 PM
0

You misread. I said preferences is one thing, standards is another. Of course people have preferences. But it’s not to say that “brown people are Oompa Loompas” or short peolle are “elves”. That’s straight up prejudice and that’s probably why it’s getting OP negative feedback. Look, there are dating strategies, and there’s being unpleasant. Having preferences sets you forward. Holding nasty energy will only get you unpleasant feedback
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/19 11:01 PM
3

Are you kidding? Go and do some reading please. I was trying to be soft, but I’ll say it straight up - it’s racist to call people exotic, there’s a whole history on it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/19 10:59 PM
149

Yes! Anyone who sends nudes in this day and age - please stop. We should all know by now that guys save nudes. Then they show them to their best friends. Also you can tell when a guy has told his friends about your sex life. Look at the way they look at you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/19 09:29 PM
1

If you want to, and it feels right then do it. However, just statistically, if you do have sex, you might never get to know the guy. The longer you have to know a person, the better judgement you can make about their character. For instance the you sleep with a guy on the first date and he ghosts...there’s no saying that you could have figured out he was a dick on the second date. I personally don’t have sex on the first date, not so much as a rule, but if I take away my own sex drive, I don’t a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/19 09:27 PM
2

Yes it can be pretty bad, but the white guys who think they’re woke but just have sexual frustration and repressed racism are the worst
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/19 09:17 PM
7

You guys are just on an app. He could have met someone else. However I’d say stay off the apps for now. Apps are literally dating games. Either he’s talking to player 5 somewhere out there or he’s shut down the app - both of which we’ve all done. In my opinion, everything that happens on the app Is irrelevant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/19 07:33 PM
20

The thing is, apologies don’t mean shit. Seriously, put yourself in his shoes and think about whatever it was he did. It was thought out, and executed whatever it was. He had chances to turn back and he didn’t. He had options to use different words or take different choices but he went and did whatever he did. So really “sorry” at this point doesn’t mean much. It’s more like “sorry you don’t like me anymore”, rather than “sorry I hurt you”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/19 07:31 PM
9

He never apologised but it was on text. If I’d said that stuff to his face he probably would have apologised out of shock, but it doesn’t mean it was genuine. I feel like if you’ve done something really awful to someone, no apology is ever good enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/19 07:29 PM
29

Wtf 😳it just isn’t safe for anyone out here. He literally attempted to kill a random person... because women rejected him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/19 07:27 PM
38

I feel like he might be one of those guys who gets attached too quickly. I’ve had s paragraph like that from two people on a dating app who I proceeded to date, and they both became ANGERY when I told them I no longer wanted to date them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/19 07:26 PM
34

Lol don’t tell me “pc games” was his date idea 😭😭😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/19 02:13 PM
7

Exactly! Everyone should value themselves so there’s no need to label yourself “high value”. And money and financial stability and having hobbies does not automatically make you high value
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/19 01:35 PM
11

As I keep saying, the problem with the term “high value” is that it’s kind of irrelevant. He seems like a great guy. But you’re allowing him into your life when he’s no longer of value TO YOU. people aren’t just high value or low value. It’s about you see them, not how they objectively are
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/19 12:48 PM
16

Omg that seems like a nightmare
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/19 02:04 AM
13

Yeah IMO, the only person who would potentially accompany me to family functions would be my fiancée. Most people don’t even bring their childhood friends to holiday celebrations, let alone someone you’ve known for a few months or years
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/19 10:56 PM
3

Lancôme hypnose is my fave and right now it’s on sale
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/19 08:58 PM
40

Pro tip: you don’t have to bring your boyfriend to holiday season family gatherings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/19 08:57 PM
1

Paying for the fifth date in a situation like this is not a disaster. However you should never try to pay away guilt. It shows your attitude to money maybe isn’t secure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/19 08:57 PM
36

I don’t think it’s chasey. It’s date three, she said she’ll let him know and he’s respecting that. Also he might be cautious because he knows “I’ll let you know” is often what we girls say instead of a flat “no” just to stay safe
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/19 08:53 PM
58

LOWE and behold
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/19 08:50 PM
27

I don’t think guys actually think the third date rule is real. They want it ideally as soon as possible, and you don’t have to care about that. I’d say, keep the convo going and ask if he has any plans for the weekend on Wednesday or Thursday. He should take the hint, if not then I guess let it fade out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/19 08:49 PM
15

Ugh Jesus, where do I start? I’ll start with UK stats, where over 90% of sexual assaults are committed by men. I think about 70% of the victims are women? “Rapists are men” is not a fully accurate statement but it’s close enough. Of course we need to teach boys not to rape! We need to actually raise boys - most boys are only fed and housed and that’s their childhood.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/19 07:22 PM
2

I’m still jaded, and tbh I’m not sure exactly how to work through it. The last guy I dated I had to dump, and I’m stuck unsure of whether I treated him badly which made him act weird, or whether he was a dick anyway. It was very messy and now I’m scared of hurting people. I’ve now potentially hurt two guys simply by being really oblivious and naturally mistrusting, as well as blunt. And both times I had to end it so I’m stuck wondering why bother. Dating and sex can be fun but I’m 20, so I’m not…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/19 07:19 PM
1

I actually don’t think all female households would be good for boys (for girls if wouldn’t matter as much). I definitely want a husband in my life, a good role model. I’m not worried about being s good parent on the emotional side, in that sense I would be happy to parent alone knowing that I was a good mother. Put it term’s of practicality, finances, and just having a model relationship to show my children, i’d rather be a coparent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/19 02:41 PM
6

There’s preferences, and there’s looking down on people for biological differences. Two different things
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/19 01:50 PM
4

What does “exotic” mean - that word has connotations in 2019 FYI. (It’s offensive and reductive to non Caucasians )
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/19 08:38 AM
6

‘Report Jaime’ lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/19 08:32 AM
8

Whether it “works” depends on what you want. If you’re monogamous in the way your emotions work there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, but it requires a slightly different strategy if you want that kind of commitment. One thing I’d say here is that “multidating” is condoned here however, don’t date many people for the sake of saying you’re not only dating one person. It’s really counterproductive and you’ll inevitably be holding onto deadweights. For me when multidating, I have a period of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/19 08:31 AM
3

I’ve had this (it wasn’t so much out of laziness but bad coincidence and timing, and then him not thinking on his feet). I just didn’t say much, let him lead the conversation. I directly asked him what we were doing - and he said he was sort about the fact that his dinner overran etc. He said we could go on a walk around the city bc he knew some nice routes. Then, the universe told him off and it started raining really heavily. I wanted to sit down so he had to take his already soaked coat off s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/19 08:04 AM
66

I don’t judge anyone’s preferences. I personally am 5ft 10, so naturally I gravitate to taller guys anyway and would never want to date someone shorter. Most women like tall men. But calling them “little elf men” sounds like you think you’re above them (no pun intended). Some preferences are about standards. Others are about taste. Height is taste, not standard. Imagine if you said “I only date Chinese and British people”. That’s a taste. If you say “I only date Chinese and British people, every…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/19 07:56 AM
37

There are ways to pursue passively. First of all, be seen. Be seen looking good. I don’t mean “dress up”, but look your best every day. Seriously investing in little things makes a huge difference. I probably started this at 17, so now st 20 it doesn’t feel like effort. Add certain things to your life which will benefit you in the long term. I.e. face mask twice a week, pedicure etc. Secondly invest in clothes. I’m not saying buy more clothes but look st your wardrobe and toss anything you don’t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/19 07:51 AM
16

I think she was taking out the trash and levelling up
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/19 07:39 AM
21

🤢🤢 the pedophilia bit scared me so much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/19 07:39 AM
21

Yes it’s highest and most disturbing in Caucasian men who might actually exercise empathy and normal behaviour with Caucasian women, but almost view other races as mythical creatures. It’s scary make it stop
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/19 01:23 AM
1

Um. You and whoever downvoted this are being way too defensive. I said the anger in the tweet/comment/image is scary. Not you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/19 01:20 AM
3

I meant they’re single because everyone assumes they’re fucking around, or players, or not interested in relationships. I’m my personal experience it has been the opposite and they’re dying for a real relationship... so looks can be deceiving
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/19 01:19 AM
8

I just saw on another post here that she found child porn on his phone and he sent her 10 angry texts. She didn’t reply.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 11:14 PM
13

The issue with dating advice on reddit, is that most of the people giving the advice don’t actually date at all. You can really tell too, because it’s so far removed from what reality is and based solely on ideology.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 10:59 PM
0

The anger here is scary too EDIT : people stop jumping to defence please! I’m referring to the anger in the screenshot not the anger in FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 10:59 PM
11

This is highly superficial and just a bad attitude to take into dating. Often the best looking guys with lots of options are single. You’re essentially asking OP “why are you good enough for him”. She’s asking FDS if he’s good enough for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 10:57 PM
9

If you don’t know him well enough to determine whether he’s “high value” we definitely don’t. You have to get to know the person
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 10:55 PM
9

If he wasn’t guilty he would be doing everything he could to find out where she was
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 10:53 PM
1

I haven’t had many but the few I had were good. However, I was very selective, and as people I wouldn’t have been friends with all of them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 10:51 PM
27

As a woman of colour, fetishes are the number 1 scariest thing. Most people who “like me” are probably based on fetish and it’s terrifying
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 10:49 PM
2

It’s set by the mods, and I think the newbie and disciples are just time related.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 09:15 PM
1

I’m not sure why you think “mental health” = victim. That’s a very basic interpretation. I think people are interpreting t in a very defensive way with no nuance or common sense whatsoever. I’m a victim of sexual assault and abuse. I’m talking about reform going forward, no one is making excuses for bad people. It is absolutely rooted in mental health crisis, you can’t be mentally stable and committing crimes like rape, murder and abuse. There really isn’t any other reason behind the crisis we h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 05:34 PM
1

I don’t have this idea of dating at all. I’m partly multinational and have always been, so I’m used to this. I was not wary of that, there were just many other reasons in my personal life, plus I was dating other people when I met him, and I wasn’t ready to have sex and didn’t want a relationship so I didn’t really know what to do with the situation. I was 18 at that point, now I’m 20 so I would handle it differently.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 03:30 PM
1

I think FDS strategies do actually apply to men. On the one hand there are principles about how men should respect women and on the other hand there are principles about how people should respect themselves. Otherwise there’s not much more to it. It’s about making sure he sets boundaries and in return is respectful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 03:28 PM
1

I’m interested as to how you refer to it as “the FDS way”. If you have an opinion on it you should speak that opinion the way you feel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 03:26 PM
2

You definitely won’t be alone forever. But if it comes to settling then you should never settle. You would actually be happier single than being with someone who doesn’t add value to your life. Also remember though, everything here is just words of advice. Not everyone puts it into practice, and not everyone is coming from a place of confidence, or even experience. Cherry pick the good parts, and test then on your life. I would also say don’t get caught up on the “high value” label. Again it’s j…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 03:21 PM
1

You can take a step back. You’re he only one in a position to take a step back if you’re evidently the more confident person. See if they are able to take initiatives and if they can’t they’re probably less confident than you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 03:15 PM
2

You should ask what does it mean to you? What it means to this forum is not what it means to you, it’s just an alternative pool of advice. I think it means you should not feel pressured to have sex, or date driven by sex. In some ways you’re at an advantage where you’re driven by emotional connection and character compatibility.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 03:13 PM
2

There is only one answer. Dump him, it’s not easy if you really do feel attached to him, but it’s not going to end if you’re still dating him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 03:10 PM
1

It’s not at all genetic. I’ve said this on so many posts, and been downvoted to death but I don’t care. Alllll studies agree that men are raised in a shitty way, and women are raised to clean up the mess. Any mothers in here need to take note. Boys aren’t going to raise themselves to be gentlemen. That said, I think the spread of high value men is skewed. I don’t like the term “high value” because it makes it sound like it’s a binary - like they’re great or they’re rubbish. There are mediocre me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 03:06 PM
4

Why answer? I just say never ask a woman those questions. And define slept with
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 03:01 PM
12

Does anyone else think wtf was she thinking having a baby with a 23 year old? I feel women who date even a few years younger have a very immature taste in men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 03:01 PM
3

Are there any women here who watch porn occasionally? I wonder why men get so addicted, but women don’t. I feel like you can’t actually “allow” porn for someone else though. There’s no way of controlling an adult, and they can just be extremely secretive about it if it is a full blown addition. What are the signs a guy watches too much porn? Is he more or less horny than the average guy?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 02:57 PM
14

Oh no! He needs to learn to respect your privacy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 02:55 PM
3

Yes. There are many reasons a man might have a female BFF, and I think if it truly is a best friend then he’s probably more clued up than most men who don’t have a very close female friend
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 02:53 PM
1

Also are you actually saying you think you’re raised in the same way as guys are? Think back to middle school when people occasionally cried in class, and remember the reactions. Look also at how boys treat each other when they cry. They look away. When girls cry, even in public, a friend OR stranger will come to comfort them. It says a lot about what is socially acceptable. Plus the fact that emotion in general is feminised - the whole hysteria concept - sure men frame it as a weakness, but whe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 02:51 PM
1

You are way too aggressive. Don’t you know I’m a woman too? If you don’t think that’s the cause of emotional immaturity in men, then what is? Entitlement is taught and everyone is in denial about it. It’s not magic. Anyone with a brother or a male relative can see how it comes to be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 02:45 PM
8

If you choose to phrase it like that then sure!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 02:43 PM
5

It’s the same way people don’t try on a project/assignment and then complain it was so hard and they would never have done well anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 02:39 PM
5

Date your friends too! Me and my friends always go to fancy restaurants to chit chat (whenever we’re not broke, since we’re students), but it’s so fun to treat yourself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 02:37 PM
31

Yes it’s surprising how many men can not stand the idea of you excelling. I wouldn’t call it a level up “process” because you should always be ambitious and improving yourself, that’s just life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 02:35 PM
17

But all jokes aside, breaks are silly. Break means broken up and looking for better options but not having the confidence to leave your last option.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 02:32 PM
14

Maybe it’s the sexual chemistry. Also a confused/unstable guy can pull away and return and go back and forth if he feels like he has no control of his feelings. Don’t date unstable guys, is the moral of the story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 02:29 PM
7

I’m sad this happens. I did not think it was a true thing that happened, I thought it was more of a marriage thing after many years together guys getting lazy. If he doesn’t go down on you immediately, or try to get you off first, then you shouldn’t be having sex. Getting you wet with foreplay (even if you’re already wet) is the first thing that should happen. If you’re not getting off then you don’t have enough sexual chemistry
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 02:26 PM
-2

Me neither. No one said that was the cause of criminality. I just think men are raised in an emotionally stifling way which is why they wind up emotionally stunted, less empathetic than girls who are taught to be more self aware. Girls aren’t shamed for crying or told that it makes them less feminine etc. All I’m saying is men aren’t biologically a mess. They’re socially enabled and people deny that it’s to do with how they’re raised compared to girls.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 02:07 PM
1

Yes he’s from another country. He was leaving for the summer (we go to university in the U.K.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 02:00 AM
1

No I never ghosted him. He ghosted me. He was waiting for me to turn up to the dates he organised and then he got fed up. Sorry if that wasn’t clear. I think if you read from there, then it will be a slightly different story. He wasn’t flakey to begin with - that was me. He messaged me every day and I just made excuses not to see him and didn’t actually explain why. So I understand him ghosting me. He later said he was annoyed about me stringing him along, and he said that he’d maybe wanted some…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 01:59 AM
2

It’s not really about fitting in to me, it’s just a small forum I happen to be interested in, but I just notice there’s a lot of fresh hurt here and it comes out negatively and probably isn’t healthy for some people. But there are a few gems so I’m not unsubscribing, and I’ve been able to help a few people too. I haven’t had my first adult relationship yet, so I guess I haven’t experienced the extent of heartbreak which might be behind some of the opinions here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 01:26 AM
1

I think there’s a lot more to it than that, especially in this age of dating. There are people here who probably follow FDS strategies, but actually when it comes to them setting boundaries and their self esteem and their attitude to their options (and other women) they don’t actually see themselves as the prize. Plus there’s a good handful of people here who accuse other people of being “pick Mes” (the term itself I can hardly take seriously having to type it so many times), for completely irre…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 12:33 AM
-7

I’m not too sure. I feel like men wind up less* responsible but I remember watching my brother and friends brothers grow up and the “stop crying” starts for them as early as 6. For girls it’s more like “stop running around, stop being messy, stop saying stupid things”. One leads to greater emotional maturity, the other is emotionally stunted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 11:00 PM
9

Don’t employ strategies for “feelings”. Feelings fade through experience. Emotional maturity is learning how to draw boundaries despite feelings. Emotional immaturity usually revolves around denying feelings, or lying to yourself that they don’t exist. If you need to process what happened that’s fine. It’s something society denies so heavily. It is possible to be a little heartbroken for years, it’s possible to still love someone who hurt you. What FDS is about is physically moving on to the poi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 10:52 PM
-10

Yes men create the majority of crimes. But I have to say, if that’s going to change it’s down to women to strike/draw hard boundaries etc, especially when it comes to raising sons. I also find that men are raised so coldly. They go from being kids and hugging their mum and getting kisses etc, and for many the transition to manhood is cruel and cold and very much “stop crying”. It’s literally the recipe for making a sociopath. They’re not just bad/criminal - it’s a mental health crisis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 10:43 PM
3

I don’t think marriage is the problem. We’re not passive in marriage as women, so marriage is not something we’re sold as such (at least today, but I’m aware of the historical legacy). I think bad marriages are the issue. We have to break it down sociologically and it starts with how we raise our sons. How we talk about other women in front of our sons etc. How we treat our daughters in front of our sons. How we let our sons watch our husbands get away with slacking on family/household roles etc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 10:31 PM
1

There are definitely enough HVM to go around in my opinion. Although men more often are senseless, many do learn from their errors and are “teachable” in that respect. The idea that HVM are rare or outnumbered is technically the essence of ‘pick me’, because it’s a negative attitude to options. I feel like “high value” people cant really be quantified in that way. It’s a qualitative sliding scale, not a binary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 09:45 PM
7

This is pretty much what I’m saying - but I’ve found that a lot of people here throw around the “pick me” label when they have different views, when actually pick me is about your attitude to the options you have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 09:37 PM
1

If he’s not “last place”, then it’s not a hierarchy. That’s my point here. If there is a “last place” it’s a hierarchy. A hierarchy has a top and a bottom. If you expressly consider someone last place/bottom they’re just your favourite deadweight at the end of the day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 09:35 PM
0

Also if you are ranking there is a deadweight, just by definition. You can assess their differing qualities without having to rank them. One may be better in bed the other might be inspiring and entrepreneurial, but the second you have reason enough to put someone at the bottom of the list, I can only wonder why you’re keeping them around. Often it’s just the same old fear of being single.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 08:50 PM
0

Writing this as a 20 yr old I definitely think you should date several people at once - I think you might have misread the post. What I meant was if you realise someone is worth demoting in your hierarchy, then why keep them around? Often people do that just to say they have more options at hand, and actually they’re hiding their fear of being alone behind the numbers. My point is you don’t have to have a “meh” guy in your back pocket in order to prove to yourself that you have options. The opti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 08:47 PM
5

Exactly - I’m for dating several guys at once, even long term if it suits you. But if you have a reason to demote them, then you have a reason to replace them in my opinion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 08:44 PM
1

I think you also didn’t read that whole post to see that I’m not against multi dating. Actually I multidate but I just don’t rank the guys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 08:40 PM
-2

Well when I’ve dated 3 guys I didn’t rank them. I know people who keep guys only as backup. Why have a backup in that sense? Also the mods aren’t gods, just saying. It only takes one mod to get offended/defensive and put a label on a username. Doesn’t actually make any difference. It’s not a cult.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 08:39 PM
1

I understand this, but really I’m just worried about going into anything new. I dated some new guys but I’m just very aware that I’m emotionally and sexually unavailable so until I work through this I’m not really interested in finding new love :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 12:23 PM
1

In my opinion you should not use virginity as a tool. Virginity is a social construct so you can still maintain your “modesty” (or the thing that makes your virginity personally important to you) for every sexual encounter you ever have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 12:20 PM
2

I made a similar post earlier, I think if you get on and they’re attracted to you, there’s a good chance that they’re secretly hoping for a chance with you (to date or just sex). Most guys can’t actually be good friends to a woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 11:37 AM
13

Art/painting, fashion design/sketching (I’m working on a new brand @ultramarineofficial on Instagram (follow if you’re interested in feminism wellness and ethical fashion) and listening to music/reading.,
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 11:31 AM
13

I know this might not be useful to hear, but you should not move for a guy (anywhere) without a ring at least. I think you should break up. Chemistry is not enough to justify uprooting your life for this guy and I think since moving near him he’s started taking you for granted
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 11:29 AM
2

I explained in other comments, I’m just in a lot of pain to be honest. I already know why this hurts - it’s because I’ve never experienced love (not parents, friends or family) although I’m a loving person. This is the first time I loved a guy and I hate to think I probably messed up and he actually might have cared at one point. That’s why it’s eating me up. So I know it’s not just about this guy. But that said I do love him and it’s an emotion so it’s not going to go away even if I know I’ll n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 03:06 AM
2

I was never indecisive about him. I knew the moment I didn’t want to take him seriously anymore but it didn’t mean I didn’t have feelings for him. I’m heart broken over it because I think I messed up and it could have been completely different. I also notice now that everything I did could have been misinterpreted, while at the time I thought I was being clear. I became emotionally invested because I think he was a nice guy, and despite the negative parts I mentioned he was actually very kind. I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 01:26 AM
2

My life has been really complicated. I wasn’t personally in a bad place, but lots of bad circumstances including domestic abuse. Of course I dated other people. But I didn’t want anything further. I’m also struggling with chronic illness and I’m final year of law undergrad so there’s a lot of stress. I personally think there is no set time for heart break and the point of this post was to get closure on the subject of what happened.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 01:15 AM
5

Edit: I’m not thinking of dating him, or still in touch with him. This is fully in the past. The reason I’m posting here is exactly as I said - it’s really weighing on me and I’m not sure what to take away from that experience - I’ve had a lot of “move on” comments about it in the past but the whole point is I can’t and I’m really heartbroken over it. I knew I really liked him at one point but a relationship wasn’t practical for me because of family/life reasons, in addition to me not trusting h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 12:53 AM
0

This is not current at all. It all fell apart a year ago and we definitely aren’t dating. but I haven’t gotten over it, that’s why I made the post. But thanks for your answer
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 12:27 AM
40

I haven’t hit Queen peak - I know I’m close but the reasons aren’t actually based on dating. I’ve been dealing with chronic illness and abusive parents which have affected my college years. I’m trying to level up my career prospects but it’s hard right now, especially since without money and career prospects and being constantly ill, my self esteem is rock bottom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/19 05:06 PM
12

OMG 15 years later. How fkn stupid
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/19 03:37 PM
3

Women like that are the dumbest
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/19 03:32 PM
70

It’s also the fact that more men than women are narcissist. They don’t have their own deep passions which aren’t about controlling/managing other people , so it hurts them to see genuine simple happiness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/19 01:28 AM
6

Hip hop has done incredible things for women, and female hip hop artists completely changed the world, talking about sex from their perspective. I wouldn’t dis the genre at all, where would we be without it? Now thanks to hip hop women sing about putting up boundaries and lesbian heartbreak.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 05:56 PM
1

I feel like your really missed all the points on my post/comments - this was a long time ago. We’re not together anymore - as I said I ended it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 05:38 PM
1

Yes - his dick was working fine. He said he wanted to get with me, he tried to get with me. I wasn’t ready right there in that moment. I think the rejection triggered him or something and he decided to play games.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 03:16 PM
1

I’m 20 and based on the men I’ve met so far, I envision my future complete with house and babies and picket fence minus the man. Seriously the thought of coparentimg scares me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 01:04 PM
2

Block and move on - it’s the best lesson for him here. He was trying to have and hold lots of options and as a result he thinks you’re an option.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 12:59 PM
2

If you find yourself swiping right up to 100 times you need to be more selective with your swipes. Seriously if you briefly read bios you’ll find yourself only swiping with 10
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 12:55 PM
2

It’s not always through the eyes of men. My self criticism started as young as 2 years old in ballet class wishing my legs weren’t “fat”. I think it’s more about societies eyes, and as a woman, you might actually find that you’re just comparing yourself to other females.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 12:49 PM
14

Cool but I’m still insisting on condoms.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 12:47 PM
10

I also attract this type
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 12:44 PM
2

Yep people who don’t try new things in general aren’t stimulating
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 12:38 PM
2

A HOMIE TO KICK IT WITH ON THE WEEKENDS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 12:35 PM
2

15!!! Thank god, I’m not entirely sure how, but it meant I never had a damaging shitty relationship. Maybe it’s because my dad was a piece of abusive trash who beat me and my mum up, eventually stopped working and lied about it and had been gaslighting my mum for years about continually cheating with a “family friend”. Unfortunately it means I have no trust for men so I basically smell the first sign of a red flag and I run
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 12:33 PM
2

Well here’s how it’s been for me 10s - Gay. Straight ones had some self esteem issues. 9s - Lovely Guys. 8s trash. ... not sure about the rest. 4 - think they scored by getting on a date with you so start being rude on the date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 12:30 PM
3

Guys think their dick is the prize - I hope a guy sees this - dicks aren’t all that. Have they never seen a good sex toy vibrator? Plus, most dicks are attached to fools. How delusional to think that dick is a contribution
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 12:28 PM
3

Men are dumb af, seriously their brains are utter shyte
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 12:17 PM
1

I’m sorry but I didn’t make any assumptions. On both dates he suggested going home with me and was all over me. I was the one who declined initially. Because the first time I wasn’t ready, second time I couldn’t bring him home. He clearly stated he wanted to have sex, I’m not stereotyping him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 12:03 PM
9

I think that’s often true - definitely most of them are creeps
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 11:58 AM
-2

I actually don’t think so. There often comes a point for a lot of women, where the games get boring, and you start to like the sound of someone with a good track record of responsibility etc. If the guy likes you, if you get on, and if he’s not just trying to make you his trophy wife, I don’t think it’s strange or immoral. But I think you both have to be honest with yourselves and question if one or both of you is being selfish (e.g. older guy pressuring younger girl to have kids, or younger gir…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 05:49 AM
34

This is so awkward. I think it does say a lot about how intimacy starved guys are. I guess I had a similar situation, but eventually I did take him back and he was a dick to me maybe out of bitterness about the first rejection, maybe other reasons
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 05:44 AM
0

Where did I play a game? Everything I did was genuinely what I meant. When I deleted him from social media, I did it because I expected he was the sort of guy who would slide back into my life if he felt like it. And one reason I didn’t go to the second date was because I went through a sexual assault and wasn’t sure if I was ready for anything serious or casual. When I booty called him, that was a genuine mistake and I was really drunk and depressed that night for some genuinely serious reasons…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 04:14 AM
0

I don’t think it’s conceited - especially since he was the first to say he wanted something “more open” right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 03:51 AM
1

woah. Sounds similar. I wondered the same about the guy I was dating, but I couldn’t tell for sure. He could easily have been questioning his sexuality, and honestly it felt like he was forcing himself to “like” me, although he was attracted to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 10:29 PM
1

No we were together in person. It’s a bit complicated. To backtrack we met on hinge went on a date, date was technically good but I had my reasons not to take it further. I sort of unintentionally strung him along for two months (Just messaging most days mostly small talk) and didn’t go on the second dates he organised and asked me out on. He gets fed up and ghosts and I delete him from social media. So a few months he reached out to me, we go on another date and we do have a lot of sexual chemi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 10:27 PM
5

I don’t think this was the case. The first one had obvious erections often when he was with me, but still was very dismissive when the subject of meeting even slightly came up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 09:58 PM
3

I really considered this too, but I just don’t know yet
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 09:52 PM
3

Agreed - but more like just because you’re married doesn’t mean you’re committed. It’s all in the attitude
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 05:19 PM
7

It’s just another patriarchal lie. Women give each other affection and intimacy while guy’s are macho with each other and that’s why they come to us for cuddles and attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 11:58 AM
4

Honestly they really can’t - I’ve been asked if I was a bot
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 03:52 AM
3

Ah okay he was just being sleazy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 03:50 AM
3

If you just have that gut feeling then you know what to do
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 11:21 PM
20

The thing is with men, they’re starved of intimacy and affection. A lot of these guys will actually have sex just for the cuddles. It’s not about the sex itself they just need an ego boost and they need to feel like someone wants them. It’s very sad actually I’m so glad I’m not s Guy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 11:14 PM
9

You’re not stupid for sleeping with him. I think now you know that there’s a good reason not to sleep with someone on the first date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 11:12 PM
14

Dating sites are NOT the way to go for actual dating. Ask any woman in the world (I’m from the U.K. and it’s the same story), I’ve never met a woman who’s said men on dating sites are worth it. I suggest we ladies strike. The apps would shut down immediately because they run on women giving questionable men the benefit of the doubt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 11:09 PM
24

Tinder = trash, horny men, dick piccers, men who lie about age. Bumble = “intellectuals”, soft bois, men who get attached too quickly, men with anger issues, men who believe they want a relationship and get frustrated when they realise that just because you swiped on them doesn’t mean you want to wed them. Hinge - men who reference having kids together, romantics, probably genuinely nice guys but quite inexperienced.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 11:06 PM
1

Although he used a lot of words, I don’t think he necessarily is talking about fwb. I personally don’t say that I’m looking for a relationship straight away (partly because guys ain’t the smartest and they’ll assume that I want to marry them immediately or something) but also partly because I am 20, and I’m not looking for THE relationship of my life right now. I am fairly certain my next relationship will just be a lesson/experience so I’m not dating so intentionally right now. It did at least …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 11:03 PM
3

Skrm we’ve got a Thomas Hardy here
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 11:00 PM
26

Hmm I disagree. You don’t really control the depth of love, and the “until you’re sure they love you back” bit is why so many people are single nowadays. I think don’t devote yourself easily, and definitely don’t commit easily, but let’s not forget love is an emotion
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 10:58 PM
7

I don’t always like the terms high value man/woman. How is what you described a high value man? Even if he has an amazing job and does fantastic things in his spare time, it doesn’t mean he’s “high value”. Some people are great on paper and otherwise no good
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 01:01 PM
5

I absolutely agree - I can tell that these racist posts are made by Americans who have never actually experienced anything but western culture. In my group of girlfriends from every single continent (12 of us) we can unanimously agree that the most problematic men have been white men, and that racist and islamaphobic stereotypes have majority of white people assuming that this is not the case. While all cultures have their issues, non-white culture actually puts a huge emphasis on men making som…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 12:58 PM
1

This is what I would say - and I genuinely meant it the times I said it. It doesn’t mean I’m going to have sex with the person immediately but I also could. However I did say it with the assumption that, being tinder and bumble boys, they would probably turn out to be weird
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 12:42 PM
7

How have I never heard of Lilith
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 12:39 PM
0

I also try not to add them on social media, unless they find me and add me. However I think it’s really important to have a propert connection. I hardly add people anyway, let alone someone I’ve just met in a dating context
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/19 02:19 AM
3

I say oh sorry I can’t drink at the moment (true) do you want to hang out at (insert cool art gallery)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/19 02:17 AM
1

Tragic
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/19 02:16 AM
17

Not only are they depraved but they’re dumb af. If you were depraved, you would think you’d try to hide it with silence at least
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/19 01:38 AM
33

That’s really worrying
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/19 01:37 AM
6

Yes my standard is my rechargeable vibrating pink rabbit. If the guy can’t 1) handle it’s existence and 2) live up to that standard (pleasurable and unproblematic), then ciao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/19 01:35 AM
1

Napkin? Pf 1 ply paper towel fuck outta here
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/19 01:33 AM
6

While that is a no risk strategy, it’s wouldn’t be much of a learning experience for you. Not saying that you have to invest lots of time or energy in the guy but getting to know the person is beneficial. Sometimes if you’re extremely distant to get the ones who jump through the hoops are the ones who can’t read signals
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/19 01:32 AM
3

I put on some nice pants and maybe a bodysuit underneath. Tbh I really can’t summarise but comfort and food fit is what I go for anyway. I’d say shoes determine whether your outfit is formal or not. As with the shade of the denim you wear, if you’re wearing denim.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 10:45 PM
21

He’s a psychopath. What a freak. Low self esteem and stupid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 10:36 PM
6

I don’t think jealousy is what you describe. I think it’s immoral, immature and desperate to sleep with a married man. It shows to me that 1) you don’t have any respect for real relationships 2) you therefore aren’t mature enough for a real relationship and 3) you don’t understand that there are a million single men “high value” who you could date. If someone slept with my husband, I would not be jealous of them. I would be heartbroken that my husband would do that, but jealousy implies that you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 10:26 PM
8

I think jealousy says a lot about your self worth. Dating is not a competition. You’re not competing to be picked and you’re not competing to pick. You’re trying to find the best match. And to some extent time may be of essence because quality people are in limited number. But jealousy doesn’t get you anywhere
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 07:02 PM
7

Agreed - maybe because I grew up with a lot of sisters, but it never occurred to me to compete or compare myself with other women. My attitude on competition (whether that’s looks, money, education, jobs) is that you have to beat your personal best, and have as many sources of inspiration/role models and mentors as possible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 06:47 PM
4

I never said women aren’t allowed to disagree or conflict. But I think women who are actively resentful and competitive and jealous of other women come from w place of pure insecurity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 06:45 PM
1

Best answer
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 04:28 PM
1

It’s not always about them not being into you - a guy wouldn’t stick around for long periods of time saying he wanted to be fwb or even in one experience I had, he had a boner all the time when I was with him etc. I think he was too proud to “show me” he was into me, bc wen we first met he wanted something serious and I wasn’t into him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 04:26 PM
1

Same!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 04:23 PM
6

I do that too - Flirting is super important bc it’s so revealing of maturity on the guys side. If you flirt and he wires you a dick pick it’s bye. If you flirt and he doesn’t respond at all it’s bye. If you flirt and he flirts back jokingly he’s okay with the idea of your sexual side. Many guys aren’t okay with girls owning their sexuality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 04:23 PM
2

YESS I mentioned this on one of my posts and I got backlash. This is incredibly common. Some people here don’t get that sex is not about sex. I think especially the younger peolle here - apparently (biologically) sex isn’t even that amazing for the guy in terms of physical sensation. It’s more about testosterone dopamine and ultimately ego for guys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 04:21 PM
2

I do. Because this issue isn’t just “men are trash”. It’s society raising trash people. There are women who treat eachother like shit. Men who treat eachother like shit. IMO they’re all trash, they’re everywhere, and they’re not the people I want in my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 04:19 PM
4

So dumb - all I’ve wanted since I was 11 was a boob reduction. Idk what guys think
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 04:17 PM
4

This is literally what the song gold digger “But while y'all washin', watch him He gon' make it to a Benz out of that Datsun He got that ambition, baby, look at his eyes This week he moppin' floors, next week it's the fries” Not all broke guys are lazy, some were just born into shitty places in life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 04:15 PM
2

This is the stage I’m at now. I make it clear I’m not interested in anything. Not even a date sometimes. Some listen st that but a few still take me on paid for dates. Sometimes it’s nice just to go out, meet someone and go home. There’s nothing immoral about it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 04:11 PM
0

Say you want something serious and if he doesn’t want that then you don’t have to keep seeing each other.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 04:04 PM
25

I expect the guy I date to earn more than me because I expect him to be at least as ambitious as me. And stats show that a man of equal ambition as a woman will get paid more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 03:57 PM
10

Why would you be hostile and jealous and competitive with other women though? I’m seriously just curious to understand what drives this if it isn’t internalised misogyny, insecurity, and low self esteem I feel this behaviour comes from people who think looks are absolutely everything. Sure they’re important but there are the odd few people who are 11/10 looks wise and trying to shove them or be hostile to in public isn’t going to make you an 11/10 in any respect. I feel there’s a certain amount …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 02:09 PM
1

I’m not fighting this sub for being mean - I find first of all that everyone is hyper defensive on this sub. Yo we’re all here (some people don’t get it) but most people are here bc we agree with the principles. If you read my first comment I’m actually saying it might be damaging for the young girls who are seeing this, without having any experiences and going in with a “use men” or “hate men” attitude, instead of an attitude driven my their own positive goals e.g “optimise my options” “find mu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 04:03 AM
2

Oh I see - I only just saw that the link hadn’t worked before now. Ok cool, yes same I have a brother! And the only reason I wasn’t okay with the sweeping statements is because I know how bad the patriarchal bs is and also how badly my parents raised him with regards to self esteem and masculinity. I just felt like hate has no place within the dating game if that makes sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 03:55 AM
1

I think you’re taking my words too literally. Feel free to hate who you want. I just think sweeping statements aren’t healthy for some of the teenagers in this sub. And by teenagers I refer to the girls. I’m on this sub for a reason I’m not the enemy here - and seriously check my post history, I’m not about pick me. I didn’t write that for men to see and be appeased. But I’m very conscious (as everyone should be) of the younger peolle because that’s when it all starts and they are the future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 03:52 AM
14

I completely agree, but my point was all women are beautiful even when you’re dressed down in pjs sick etc. I personally am at my worst right now and it’s not about effort, I just have autoimmune disease. Life can be very complicated and even if you work hard study hard workout have an amazing routine - stuff can still go wrong. Most recently I found a lump in my breast after a lot of pain (family history of lumpectomy and breast cancer so I know what the deal is even in the best case scenario).…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 03:48 AM
3

Ooh I think I’ve heard of that one
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 01:50 AM
-1

I never said anything about “all”. I definitely understand the nuance of this sub and I’m not trying to “take anything away from “”you”” lol But I just think not everyone who sees this will understand it. There are also some quite young people on this sub who have had neither positive nor negative experiences in real life yet, and for them I don’t think it’s useful to see statements like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 12:36 AM
2

It shocks me how backward the US is despite being so ethnically and culturally diverse. America is yet to grasp the concept of intersectional feminism, yet to stop fetishising mixed race babies (and women of colour/ethnic minority as vessels of mixed race babies), and this whole weird idea that Latinas (or any race) are lower than other races. It’s so bizarre. Studies and stats show that women of colour exceed not only their stereotypes but also Caucasian women in various metrics in life (ad vic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 12:08 AM
16

I’m sorry but that was not an accident. Men are dumb 4 sure and I’m sure he didn’t understand the extent of the anatomy and the disgusting pain you must have gone through. But he did it on purpose. That’s rape. Tell him. And block him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 11:59 PM
6

This is not a hate page though! It’s dating strategy. You wouldn’t be here if “I hate men” was a 100% true statement to you. We need to not stoop to that level.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 11:57 PM
3

Read it again
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 11:54 PM
3

First of all I’m a woman and it’s disgusting how aggressive you’ve been. It’s supposed to be a supportive community and you’ve been so defensive when I’m not even attacking you. Secondly this sub is for thinking. Your one-track-mindedness is super narrow - as I said it’s a place to share ideas. If you can’t handle that then I don’t understand why you post on this page. Thirdly one of the key themes of this page is that GUYS DO NOT THINK LIKE GIRLS. There’s a post on it from the last 24 hours . Y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 11:54 PM
2

I think they know we’re not but they hope - also social stereotypes. Finally, I feel women watch more modern rom com/ dramas which are relevant to the modern day. They explore real life issues more and more candidly. Many guys don’t watch these shows. For some guys the last romance they watched was Disney Cinderella. They don’t realise we don’t need saving
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 11:49 PM
3

That’s great that you cut him out when you saw the bad drama. But also don’t feel like you have to be talking to new guys already. You can always take some time for yourself, invest in yourself, pamper yourself, talk to friends etc. It makes for a clearer head for the next dating experience
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 11:47 PM
2

Who said “online dating is solely for the purpose of sex”? If you’re going to be calling people idiots when you disagree you at least have to read more carefully... I’m sorry to say. There’s a bit more nuance to it... “not ready for a relationship” does not mean “wanting to fuck”. A lot of these guys want a relationship but aren’t mature enough. Sometimes it’s more about ego, attention, validation than sex
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 11:43 PM
4

Still, that’s a v immature way to go about it, and it’s still unusual for 3 dates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 11:40 PM
8

I’m not sure how old you are or if it’s just an American thing to throw vile words quite causally, but just because you disagree doesn’t mean I’m an idiot. You need to calm down and grow up - this is female dating strategy, it’s for sharing ideas. Also depends on your age but at least for most people on dating sites (guys) they go on these sites saying they want a relationship and they rush like that. They’re not ready for a relationship. The ones who say “not sure” tend to have a better appreci…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 11:38 PM
9

Woah I just read the edit: thats a massive personality disorder there, and I think you dodged a bullet. With him saying he loved you straight away, that’s too much
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 11:35 PM
6

No guy who is ready for a relationship looks for a relationship online -
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 11:25 PM
7

And the stupidity of the Man
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 02:13 AM
12

Omg😹😹😹😹it baffles me that someone’s mind can actually write that and make logic out of it. Like if I wrote that I would cry reading it through
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 02:02 AM
52

This is actually quite common. VERY REVEALING
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 01:56 AM
15

Fkn love Obama
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/19 03:44 AM
10

Woah he’s going the “you have no excuse not to” route instead of actually trying
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/19 09:42 PM
9

That’s me with 99% of guys - it’s actually the perfect filter, and it’s always at the back of my mind
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/19 09:33 PM
3

OMFG I’m screaming what a fkn tool
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/19 09:30 PM
8

Don’t do wifey shit for anyone until they marry you. I have friends who try to cook dinner for their boyfriend like try to look after them when they’re sick etc. Sure cuddle and talk and be loving but don’t give wifey shit away at a discount
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/19 09:28 PM
3

Pick mes are the dumbest of the bunch. Without them our current silly dating culture wouldn’t continue to exist
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/19 11:54 PM
2

Yep - flips the reality and sells this false idea that men are the prize. It’s part of a huge international cultural lie made to oppress women. Seriously even if we weren’t in civilisation and didn’t have a history of patriarch and didn’t have religion underpinning our culture, men would still be chasing. Even Male bird chase female birds.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/19 11:52 PM
1

Ugh I wonder who censored that?? (Answer: a man)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/19 11:51 PM
6

The attack of the lesbian couple on the bus in London confirmed to me that straight men find female bisexuality and homosexuality offensive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/19 11:44 PM
3

I’ve always said this. 99% of them are clowns ugly or hot. But imagine how foolish you’ll feel if you were played by an ugly clown
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/19 11:43 PM
11

Yeah you’re just tolerating. He’s too lazy, seriously the apology means nothing if he does the exact same thing again
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/19 09:53 PM
9

He’s already shown you that he’s not going to change. “He’s enjoying his time alone”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/19 09:52 PM
24

“OPTING OUT OF SOCIETY” I beg someone tell me what that even means it sounds like a manifesto written by an 8 yr old to convince his mum to stay at home instead of go to school - using big words he doesn’t understand
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/19 08:51 PM
3

Ooof she “seduced” me who even uses that word how cringe
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/19 08:49 PM
3

Imagine being jealous of a puppy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/19 08:44 PM
2

The scary thing is so many guys aren’t experienced because they run away before they’re told off/judged/exposed/held accountable
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/19 07:47 PM
5

😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹 Some guys are so dumb that they think women aspire to be porn stars
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/19 07:45 PM
15

Imagine not crying for 10 years fucking helllll men are a shambles
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/19 01:01 AM
8

Goshhhh so much to pick apart here. Such a long way to go. First of all so many guys are literally a decade immature. Like babies they can’t seem to fathom the world doesn’t revolve around their own perspective. You can see he’s taken no consideration whatsoever into her perspective. Secondly he didn’t have the respect to listen to what she said, yet he acts like he’s crushed and heart broken. Crushed he is - but his heart isn’t broken, it’s his ego. If he actually liked this girl he would liste…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/19 12:56 AM
9

😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹 Lord ‘a’ mercy The only thing they romanticise is toxicity and abuse - it’s what culture romanticises - submission, subjugation and passivity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/19 12:50 AM
10

Mhmmmm Urban Decay Perversion (not $42 but if you buy a mascara I’m that range and wear it at least 3/7 days/week..1) you can’t afford to be crying over a wasteman and 2) you can’t afford to be splitting bills with a wasteman
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/19 12:46 AM
3

Yes it’s the rage I find off putting. I don’t actively dislike men, but I honestly don’t see the appeal based on my experiences. I haven’t liked anyone in a really long time, even people who seem alright “on paper”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/19 05:31 PM
6

Wow that makes... no sense. The only answer to her is new guy= sex life , cheating wasteman = sad life. The dude didn’t even sound apologetic
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/19 06:48 PM
9

Yesss I’ve said this so many time’s (in my head lol) Over 35s are an endangered species. Snap them up before they’re gone bc they were born before chivalry died. One thing I noticed about he trash guys I dated was their general lack of motivation
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/19 01:15 AM
13

Omg I dated a guy who literally ticked all the boxes. I believed what I saw and left immediately. Then I doubted it and returned: then WHEW, CHILD! I BELIEVED IT AND RAN. Trust your gut ma gals
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/19 01:13 AM
28

Yepp - this is the 21st century species of insecure man. It’s even shittier than the fragile masculinity 20th century males who would be ashamed of failing to provide
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/19 12:04 AM
11

Men are the most dramatic and sensitive and easily offended
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/19 03:31 AM
7

I fkn love your mum
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/19 03:22 AM
8

Fragile egos - external self worth, societal narcissism
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/19 03:21 AM
3

While I mostly agree - there are so many reasons you might not want a full on relationship! Sometimes you want a friend w benefits bc that suits you best and you’re not ready to open up - I don’t see any harm in that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/19 03:21 AM
24

I dated this guy who could not (COULD NOT) say something he was interested in. The only think he wanted to do was make money. He had no interests - he had no ideas. I don’t think he even had real friends (I think it’s common for guys to actually lack intimate friendships). It’s shocking - ladies let’s change the way we raise our sons and that starts with having an exemplary baby daddy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/19 03:16 AM
7

😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹PAHAHAHAHAH
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/19 03:13 AM
15

Honestly - I’ve noticed the same TRSH! 🗑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/19 03:32 PM
28

I second this - silence is the way
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/19 04:56 PM
30

How fkn slimy!! “Fucking gorgeous”?! What a twat
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/19 04:55 PM
9

It’s difficult. I’m upper middle class and there are some majorrrrr clashes between the lifestyle I was raised in and the rest of life. It’s not that I can’t get on with anyone else or have crushes on anyone else, or date anyone else. But it’s just that men especially will assume they have to act a certain way, and grow resentful about money/opportunity etc I went on a first date with a guy once who spent the entire time talking about money. Firststarted off telling me his dad was from a posh fa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 02:41 PM
13

Nope. Have another best friend. You need the clarity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 02:17 PM
35

This is so true, it has always been true- guys get laid less than girls. They’re less in demand. Even got guys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 02:11 PM
2

I find actually more generally they do want a relationship but don’t have the courage to be honest about it. They are immature men who put women on pedestals and get ANGERY when she doesn’t immediately I usually put don’t know yet - the reality is no one really takes Bumble seriously. Furthermore as women, if you put “relationship” the majority of men and their reptile brains believe that if you swiped them you want to be in a relationship with them. Same with “something casual”, they’ll immedia…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 02:09 PM
9

Guys don’t want to ever believe that a great attractive girl doesn’t think they’re the bomb. So they attach the most intangible thing - sanity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 01:59 PM
25

Nah don’t cheat. Leave yes - I feel like society scams us by saying women in relationships are good and women with a high body count are bad. You can have both. Get into a relationship, realise it’s shit, and find a new guy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 01:52 PM
5

Yes absolutely - I somehow instinctively never shared my sexual past with any of my friends because even girls slut shame, spread gossip and get competitive/jealous. I’ve only ever been intimate with 4 guys, (less than most of them) yet a lot of the girls in the wider friend group act like I’m a hoe because I get more attention in public. It’s messed up and I’m not going to add gasoline to the fire
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/19 08:34 PM
9

Don’t leave for someone else. That’s how people run from one abuser to the next. Leave for yourself. Be alone and single for some time, seriously you’re 20!(I’m also 20) you definitely need to experience singleness and being able to look at other people etc
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/19 03:21 AM
2

I’d say stop dating the guy- if you can see he’s upset by the lack of commitment, don’t keep it up. It’s okay to move on and find someone who is okay with what you want. However I feel you - I’m so done with dating. It bores me and I almost know from the get go that the person will be a poor fit. I’m picky with friends already so I know for sure that the right guy will also be hard to find. I’m worried by the lack of experience I will have. I’m 20 and (like many of my girlfriends) I’m already bu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/19 03:17 AM
9

I feel like I’m going through similar. I guess now I’m 20 I get slightly more attention but never as direct as at 18/19. I think I look less approachable after trauma
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/19 03:11 AM
6

It was just a question - this sub is not meant for shutting down questions. She wouldn’t be here if she’s truly against the core principles. We need to make sure we’re not toxic to one another
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/19 02:55 AM
7

Also guys who don’t freak out if they find out you have a skill/good job/money/status/achievement/growth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 08:27 PM
7

Someone who doesn’t think that humility is self deprecation - in my (very short experience of dating) this is often a red flag for guys who are accustomed to trauma bonding. It can also be the sign of a vulnerable narcissist or someone who will emotionally drain you out and not provide you with the emotional support and comfort you’re looking for
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 08:27 PM
1

While that is a great bio, I’m not so sure it is something most guys on dating apps will appreciate (bird brain malaise). I wonder if there are more than s handful of “high value men” on the apps at all
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 08:20 PM
9

She’s the voice of Yzma in the emperors new groove - true queen through and through
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 07:48 PM
3

I’m screaming
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 07:42 PM
5

So sad that anyone puts up with this. Wtf is that????
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 07:41 PM
7

What a fkn turtle
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 07:38 PM
13

This is a really interesting title. I dateda guy who genuinely acted like he hated me. At one point when I was already clear that I did not want a relationship, he admitted to me he was playing texting games because “he wasn’t that interested” yet every time I saw him he would have a boner
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/19 11:32 PM
2

I feel that follows from the girlfriend category
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/19 09:29 PM
2

True that could be an option
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/19 10:58 PM
2

Thank you :))
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/19 09:06 AM
5

Not just that but a mother figure too - I don’t believe in father giving away daughter, it’s more like parents giving away child. I wish it was as simple as “me” , but one of the main reasons people stay in check when dating is because they know you have w family to go back to. I have a sister who is experiencing this now with her mother and law and sister who continually try to cross boundaries (and you can tell that they are low key emboldened by the fact she doesn’t have her own mother and si…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/19 01:25 AM
3

This is hilarious
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/19 05:25 PM
5

Its true, it’s stupid logic but many guys do it to draw out the conversation. It does require a lot of thought an energy. However I feel like when I’m truly compatible with someone you don’t need tactics to keep up the conversation
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/19 05:21 PM
24

You’re putting him on a pedestal. Stop thinking about the money and the career and the sex. Take that all away and what do you have? A lousy texter
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/19 08:30 AM
4

The term “high value” needs to die
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/19 08:27 AM
5

That’s far too simple an answer for many guys under 25 who simply don’t try to have sex. Egos are bigger than ever, and let’s face it, girls want sex out of their relationships and we’re getting it less and less. In the example I gave, the guy admitted to pretending to want to be friends with benefits when that’s not what he wanted. Some people don’t want you to leave because of their ego, especially if they have low self esteem and think you’re a trophy. Let’s not forget sex is never actually a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/19 07:39 AM
2

I’m not sure it’s as simple as that. The one guy I’ve had an experience with stuck around even after I’d deleted them (even removing from followers etc), yet they were genuinely upset when I had to ask them what they were still doing messaging me. He claimed to by a friend with benefits but we’d hooked up once over 4 months. There are plenty of guys like that who stick around being passive because they don’t want their ego bruised
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/19 11:49 AM
1

Yes I always tell them why. Then delete
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/19 10:34 PM
3

Wow that pizza sounds realllll good
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/19 10:31 PM
4

No unfortunately- I’ve been lucky to never have had an incident where the guy didn’t immediately go down on me. I have never dated a mature guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/19 10:20 PM
10

Guys who date older are often assumed to be more mature, but from what I’ve seen they’re more often less mature. It’s an excuse sometimes to be the confused baby
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/19 10:02 PM
28

This is the biggest truth. I feel like many of us already know the basis of this post, that “if they like you, you’ll feel it and they’ll invest their time and energy in you” - while that’s very true it doesn’t explain why these types of guys insist on staying in your life, or fail to leave your life. It’s the lack of explanation which keeps girls staying, even when they no longer like the guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/19 09:49 PM
21

Most men don’t actually respond well to this. If you see a girl you like within your reach but “out of your league” and she makes the move, well... a lot of guys feel like they’re not doing anything useful and it becomes a whole ego thing. I’m a girl, I tried it once and I won’t try it again. Besides we don’t realllly need it. I feel like girls make decent judgements (not necessarily decisions) quite quickly and we have that clarity. I usually know if I would want to go on a date with a guy, or …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/19 05:24 PM
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