I’m 20, I don’t have anyone responsible in my life. No parental/authority figure etc. Awful parents and shitty childhood - luckily I am hyper aware and have a good judgement of people for the most part, but I feel like not having a home or family has some really extensive consequences in general (For example my whole life with any friend I’ve had, my birthday has been mostly ignored, but literally never presents, and I feel this stems from the fact my parents never acknowledged my birthday so I never did either).

In terms of dating, not having a strong base/ friend group/home/family makes me live bait for predators (narcissist in particular).

So basically my question is

  1. how do I attract a wholesome kind of person? I have a lot of trauma and I need to be able to trust the person if it’s going to be anything other than superficial.

And 2) Who is my family? Who should they “fear”? Who is the higher authority who will “approve” of them? And if I truly don’t have anyone, or can’t perform this role myself, who could be this figure in my life?