Who should pay in a relationship?

CSQUITO · 2019-11-26T03:07:29+00:00

If it’s committed and long term, yes split. Doesn’t have to be an equal split but still split.

Some people say never ever split but you have to think about he implications if financial imbalance. What you’re providing to the relationship etc. A few people on one side of the spectrum here will probably be like “oh he’s lucky to be there in the first place he should take what he gets and just pay the full thing”. But if you’re not paying for anything it could get murky, and you could attract a controlling person or someone who sees only sex as the value in you.

totitiganiisuntgunoi · 2019-11-26T01:14:11+00:00

I strongly believe that even in a long term relationship the man must pay the majority of the costs. To me this goes to the core definition of a high value man. A HVM doesn't just pay during the courtship stage to impress you. Rather he does so because he is happy to provide for you and to improve your life and that should by no means stop as the relationship becomes more serious.

There is also a practical side to the equation. In most relationships there will be a possibility that down the row you might have children. Even in Western societies having a child will have a strongly negative impact on the mother by taking her out of the workforce and at least temporarily reducing her earning potential/experience. As a result, even in serious relationships it is critical to ensure that the man can provide for the entire family so you know you will be taken care of if that eventuality may arise.

i_have_a_semicolon · 2019-11-26T02:09:47+00:00

Look, I can't tell other people what to do or don't do. But at least for me I'm happy to split things evenly especially since my husband takes care of a lot of chore work I find very difficult and he does it happily for our benefit. I feel that my contribution to the relationship in part has to do with financially being able to carry my own weight. However we could each carry our own weights alone. We don't have a family yet, but I imagine I have the potential to make a lot of money with my career. I do not see giving up my career or my financial contribution. Also, with my contribution we can do whatever it is I would like to do. Get sushi whenever i want, do a 40k wedding and a 10k honeymoon, splurge spend when I feel like it. Our situation could be considered outlierish but I see our money as almost shared money. So as i spend, we split, but i also make more so I'm saving more. I guess for me i would prefer to contribute evenly to our funds and my extra money goes in my savings. We have the same career and earnings potentials but I choose to work in a more lucrative location, so this is what makes sense for us and is fair imo.

Title	Who should pay in a relationship?
Author	thecakesauce
Upvotes	5
Comments	4
Date	November 26, 2019 1:01 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/e1q57w/who_should_pay_in_a_relationship/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/who-should-pay-in-a-relationship.695199 https://theredarchive.com/post/695199

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