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ChristieFox Archive

View 2 posts and 304 comments by ChristieFox on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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57

That's because you are. It always starts small and escalated further and further. The first things you probably can discuss away easily when you don't know enough about early signs of abuse. Then it gets harder but you're already in the habit. This is so obvious to anyone who isn't in the situation, but she's already drilled into second-guessing herself in favor of him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 02:38 PM
71

I honestly think the most important part of it all is how he reacts to bad behavior of his family. I can deal with a bad family of origin, you can't change that and I'd certainly think that as long as I am "allowed" to not have contact with them in worst case I'm pretty good - but him having a bad family and not realizing it or not wanting to see it is an absolute deal breaker for me. You see the difference when looking at posts from people with bad in laws. If the partner is supportive and will…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 06:27 AM
52

Well, he's already insulting himself by telling her she's too ugly to be picky. That means he views himself as the trash he is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 08:43 AM
16

I try to give better advice on a few other subreddits as well. You have to really look that your phrasing is on point on much nicer than here but spreading the message about expecting good behavior is important.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 06:45 PM
133

That and he has a point about it being stupid to make a tattoo just to please him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 05:37 PM
94

You forgot something. He accuses her of not having closure WHILE HE STALKS HER PROFILE. Does anyone else see the fucking irony here?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 04:57 PM
29

That pill doesn't even cost that much...? Looked it up for my country, around 20-40 euros. If that impresses someone, I don't know what to tell them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 03:04 PM
20

I never had this happen to me but when I was 12 or 13, I got asked in some chat if I want nudes of the ex of a guy. Swore to myself right then and there that I would NEVER give a boy / man such a picture of myself because that just burned itself into my memory. Revenge porn is a thing and fucked up and they send it to randos on the internet that could be way too young to see that. I'm sorry for every woman who goes through being recorded against her will and pictures / videos of her getting shar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 08:11 PM
62

Actually I think it's the best thing to explain people why something is wrong. "Would you like that to happen to you?" works like a charm. But honestly, the question is more whether that OP should continue to be with a person who values consent of women so little. That situation would chip a big part of my trust away to be honest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 07:55 PM
35

Yes, their reaction after you shut it down is beautiful. When I told him that, he was just like "no, that would be weird / creepy". Yeah, but telling ME that she's cute / sexy is not weird AND creepy?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 04:08 PM
7

I'm not overly sad for her. She chose to sit down with him after seeing what he planned for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 03:54 PM
138

This. You don't have to care about this and you don't have to tolerate this. A gentleman would NEVER tell you who else is sexy to him, and if he can't even keep this behavior on a date in the very early stages, who cares about him? I don't even think this is good behavior if I see this will max be a friendship (you know, zero romantic going on). A guy once told me while we walked through the city that a girl he just saw was sexy. I told him he should ask for her number. Shut him up beautifully b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 02:14 PM
11

Yeah. Look, I am very sarcastic at times. But I won't bring it up to have a justification ready when I ever need one. And I think that's the main difference. If you put it in your bio, it's one of the things you want people to know about you. That is his groundwork for anything he starts over that app. With that in mind, just take this sentence describing sarcasm: "In sarcasm, ridicule or mockery is used harshly, often crudely and contemptuously, for destructive purposes." (source) When someone …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 11:29 AM
11

Basic decency would be that he'd help to serve dinner, not acting like they only get to eat once she did everything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 10:05 AM
35

Well, he can't run away with his shoe laces tied together... Man, those tweets hurt although I know they aren't serious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 12:18 PM
20

Thought the same. "So you want to invite me to dinner?" would have been the perfect response. Sometimes you have to play really dense until you see them crack down from not knowing how to hint that all they want is sex and then unmatch them because they are cheap idiots. Or if you're not one to try and get them to waste their time while you already know this won't be a thing, then just unmatch instantly. And OP, don't let them cheap out by making it a coffee date. You want effort, not Starbucks.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 12:52 PM
91

I know it is not 100 percent related to what you are saying but statistics and facts like these make me even more eager to talk about condom usage as often as possible. I'm shocked how many men try to get sex without condom, sometimes only one or two months into the relationship - or even worse, in a hook up situation or from the very beginning! It won't protect you in all cases but it is a relatively cheap and pretty reliable birth control method if you use it correctly and put some research in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 11:50 AM
54

Because they have this emotional picture of a nagging woman who robs them of their fun in their head. It's rather amusing how they tell you they are the rational gender, then turn to their friends and talk about how bad woman are because they would need to actually make rational choices in their life in a relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 07:30 PM
35

Sadly, she would have a hard time trying to get out, especially if she wants to have custody. Maybe that's the only reason why his abuse still works.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 01:32 PM
6

Good on you. How he disrespected your "no" is pretty telling and the biggest problem in all of it. You don't got to a person and say "you have this boundary, but PLEASE make an exception for me" if you respect them. You just don't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 01:09 PM
44

Nicely said. Most people who see this act like "he asked whether you're single or not". But I think sidestepping the question and telling him you levelled up is actually the perfect answer. Show people how much you've grown.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 09:17 PM
51

Yeah, listening to men talking about women can sharpen your understanding of how many have this fucked up ... let's call it a cognitive dissonance. Way too many want to have hook ups freely but when whine about how "women have so much casual sex today". They want a woman who's independent enough to pay for her own shit but when whine about how "there are no women who'd stop working if they even want children" or how the same independent woman expects them to actually do something in the househol…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 09:38 AM
54

He will after some time because he has to do the stuff she does for him again. This guy is not only porn sick, he's utter trash. And she picked him despite him NEVER doing anything for her. She needs some new priorities for her entire life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 03:03 PM
32

Psychopaths is the right word... Those guys are utter shit. I think they themselves are those abusive guys who would get a woman pregnant to then be happy about being able to let down their mask and mistreat her. So a woman getting back on her feet without her jerk of an ex can't be the message or he could have a problem. Abusers sometimes keep their mask up until certain milestones because they think they have you trapped after marriage, moving in together or getting children. Never underestima…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 02:55 PM
22

It's really considered so normal that people even expect a man to watch porn. So you have high chances of him not lying about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 08:30 AM
9

I'm just thinking about posting this any time I see someone getting the recommendation to post in this unholy hellhole of a subreddit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/20 03:31 PM
23

That's the thing, I think? You always make some calculations about which topic you put effort in and which not. Sometimes there are really serious and hard working men who then think they do this in one part of their life, why should they give a shit about their woman? Or they just think it can work with that minimal effort, why not continue like this? Sometimes I ask myself what is worse for dating going on: Lazy men or pick mes enabling this lazy behavior?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 03:40 PM
52

Can we please appreciate the fact that the commenter below thinks she will shag one of those: "The father, the son and the holy spirit"?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 03:27 PM
23

Meanwhile I'm just here casually fighting my own battles because that's just what you do. Don't have time to "build up" some manchild.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 03:20 PM
10

You know how that discussion would have been if he would propose after his graduation? He would not have been surprised about you asking. There's no thing as "not being ready" when he can focus his energy into the rest of his life, as in he's working on graduating. He must have thought about his future because making plans is an integral part of putting effort into something (from a ... science (?) perspective: any effort / accomplishment has three parts, making the goal / planing for your goal,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 10:20 AM
15

I really thought that this sounds like something a kindergarten child says to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 03:11 PM
53

Awww, you, too? I just knew I needed the guy the second I read his bio. Who doesn't want a negger who insults your mother for the wrong reasons? /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 03:00 PM
13

That's one more reason to not just sleep with people without protection. Idk. I don't get her point. She tries to get him to admit it or something. She just shouldn't sleep with hook ups without condom because you very likely get something like this. Making condom use a boundary also has added benefit in getting many of these shitty guys away because they really believe they have a right to stick their thing into every woman without condom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 07:07 PM
11

Funny enough, I just had a talk about how too many women try to find some meaning in between the lines that just isn't there. Just a waste of time. In so many ways, men are totally simple: If they want to put effort in, they'll do. They won't have some hidden message in what they say. You don't have to look for anything. Listen to what he says and watch what he does.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/19 04:30 PM
4

It feels like something that in twenty years will be posted at length about in r/JUSTNOMIL.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/19 08:38 PM
74

Might have fried his brain that his laziness had consequences for once.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/19 05:17 PM
45

You know it's shit when you read the phrase "(otherwise) perfect relationship". I never saw a good couple that had to brag about all being perfect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/19 04:17 PM
21

Can't decide what's worse. Him or some of the people in the comments still acting like "guys don't understand this". He understood this perfectly well, he just wanted to live out his creepyness. edit: ... the commenter. If you do decide to keep him I would suggest trying to spice things up in the bedroom. Clearly there is a sexual disconnect between you two.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/19 09:22 PM
27

You have to love people who go to an ADVICE subreddit to ask for advice and when they don't like what they read: "lol what?" and "But there's a history behind this!" So not only loser, but too narrow minded to ever escape pickmeishaism
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/19 06:43 PM
6

"Nett ist die kleine Schwester von Scheiße."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/19 06:28 PM
10

It's a German saying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/19 02:24 PM
59

Here's the thing: In my country, there's a saying "Nice is the little sister of shit". It means mostly that it's just a go to description and practically meaningless. But I think you can really take it a bit further: People who call you nice can mean "she will accept everything I throw at her". And that's not what we wanna be and do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/19 09:51 AM
8

Also let's face it. The guy sounds like so bad at sex. The author clearly never had a good lover
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/19 05:21 PM
4

Can't you just asked where he got his boob job done?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/19 04:13 PM
17

Y'all remember that MTV show "next"? My mind called LOUDLY "NEEEEEEEEXT" Oh, btw, my translator tells me that "can last more than 15min" targeted to women is meant as "my dick is too grossed out by porn and can't get its job done".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/19 04:10 PM
46

Men still didn't get the memo that the "wall" is non-existent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/19 04:07 PM
12

Didn't read the book but want to disagree as well: I think telling someone "he's just that into you" doesn't say something about you at all. One rule of fds is that you're not compatible with most people, that also doesn't say anything about you. It's telling you something about the guy and that his lazyness towards you comes from him just not being interested enough for treating you right It feels more like pick me logic to instantly look for a mistake on your part if you couldn't "woo" someone…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/19 02:58 PM
6

Let's just look at English history because it has quite an interesting relationship between women and the crown. A queen ruling in her own right has a prince consort, not a king. A queen that married the king was an incubator and maybe had some duties like publicly begging for mercy for someone so the king didn't seem too merciful if he didn't really want to punish someone. The real "power" of a queen in history came from being the mother of the next king.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/19 12:37 PM
15

People don't want to see more than "they want the man to PAY!" so I ignore such things. I ignore every dm, chat request and post I see about how "stupid" or "dangerous" our "ideology" is. They don't have arguments, they just have their opinion which consists of seeing one (controversial) post. Meanwhile they believe RP because it advocates for "natural benefit of both parties". If you can't look more closely to what it is, I don't care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/19 12:25 PM
25

That was EXACTLY my thought! How can you be convinced to have the one but still want to try out other women? Nuh-uh. But of course now he gets sympathy points because she was not open enough about what she wanted from one evening. While both sound ridiculous, I don't know what he expected?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/19 01:47 PM
20

He's just experimenting with openers and expects them to work. There's that problem. Whatever it was that broke his old relationship, of course he needs to learn much more before he gets someone else again. He's so impatient.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/19 07:25 PM
16

That's typical AITA behavior. If you aren't 100% polite and NICE (nice being the little sister of shit is a saying in my country), then you're the ahole in any case.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/19 06:42 PM
21

"What do I do? My actions had consequences! Help me, reddit, I never had to face anything after doing bad stuff!" Yeah, I just feel those high value guy vibes. Not. I'd like to have the option of talking to the girlfriend and tell her to have more fun in her life than with this waste of oxygen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/19 09:44 AM
55

Found this gem: I want the crazy psycho girlfriend experience for the next 24 hours 📷 Request I’m 22m in Florida, US I‘ll pay 7 dollars for this ​ 7 dollars for 24 hours? Man, this guy is cheap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/19 09:42 AM
17

Yeah, I also thought "why would I want hot dogs for the rest of my life?" because that's basically what he's saying. "Take me, I'm as good as having hot dogs" - no, thank you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/19 07:51 PM
13

I know by that time it was already late for getting to the court another way but ... maybe at least trying calling the courthouse about you not being able to show up (on time) because someone tampered with your car and getting a taxi wasn't an option? Or calling a friend about your MEGA emergency? Family? No guarantee it's working but... you have to try all you can. And the next thing after that would be to go to the police. No matter who you think had the bright idea to commit a crime, file a r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/19 06:03 PM
17

I don’t think saying “men change their behavior depending on their level of attraction to the woman” is making a comment about the women themselves, it’s meant to highlight the DECEPTIVE nature of men. I think you can even go the other route and think about your own worth as a woman. Yes, of course we're talking about the lying nature of low value guys but it's always worth thinking about "why did I decide for THAT guy?" and "what can I do to feel more secure about myself, be more attractive to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/19 05:28 PM
8

They want a perfect looking girl, but she can't spend too much time and money on beauty stuff. I so much love this point. It got so weird that some women got really big into bragging about how their routine is so minimal - nothing wrong with that but if you do it to shame other people, please leave me alone! :) And I still think a HVM will of course look for an attractive person but is aware of what make up and good (sometimes maybe even expensive) skin care and some treatments (like someone mak…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/19 05:15 PM
36

I already see them being all giddy in TRP about "Why should I buy a sex doll when I can have a 'girlfriend' who cleans my home, pays her own stuff and fucks me without complaints?".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/19 04:11 PM
23

Exactly. He didn't bother to tell her he doesn't like her efforts of celebrating (nice to have a cake and a grudge, right?), so now he thinks he's entitled to be a dick about her birthday. 100% asshole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/19 06:35 AM
-9

Most of them don't have a clue about how unrealistic the idea behind socialism even is (just because most humans are selfish and many of them trashy). Just think about the states that actually tried their hand in socialism / communism. Was any of those a paradise come true? Or even on the way to it? That already makes my opinion of her pretty low. But then you really advertise this for your pretty little utopia that won't work? Nah, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/19 06:32 AM
17

lol Of course. Men are extra mad now that even more studies back them up about women being more picky in the early dating stages. That's normal. Single > pickmeisha syndrome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/19 06:24 AM
79

Gotta love "I'm such a great guy, I understand that you're busy" - mhm, get back into your imaginary good guy cave, idiot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/19 06:22 AM
8

Dua Lipa - New Rules (could listen to this all the time, seriously)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/19 08:11 PM
40

It all comes down to what you agree upon with a guy. If your strategy is "exclusivity only when we're engaged", then you're basically single / courting until he asks if you want to marry him - then please date as much as you want to. But if you agree to be exclusive, it becomes cheating because you lied about being exclusive. That in my opinion is low value behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/19 04:08 PM
7

That would undermine their effort to paint men as the victims of the unfair dating market. I usually love reading such stuff especially to learn more stuff about what NOT to look for or what should set my alarm off - but couldn't read that one sub anymore after I saw a post by a woman who complained about her first date with a guy who walked a bit with her and seemed happy the less people were around. This. Is. Scary. A commenter pointed out that he "could just have been insecure" and she "could…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/19 03:55 PM
2

I'm honest, I use it. But more if I want to be a meanie to someone. Couldn't imagine thinking this was a cute nickname. Maybe hiding the low effort of not learning names.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/19 03:51 PM
11

I'm on the spectrum, too. I don't think it's easy to get everything that is listed here as high value but I'd say you can do it. It's just a lot harder
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/19 05:37 AM
45

It somehow is in the human nature to be a bit extreme. We came from "masturbating is evil" to "masturbating is healthy" without men wanting to hear the fact that everything that is healthy is only healthy in the right "dosage".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/19 09:48 PM
15

Glad I could help (: And you're right - LVM is a term for the "avoid at all costs" category. Many of those have relatively high expectations while bringing nothing into the relationship themselves. Just read r/JUSTNOMIL, r/JustNoSO, r/AITA or just a random relationship advice sub for a while and you see a massive amount of red flags like men with shitty mothers expecting their girlfriend (of years because marriage would be complicated /s) and mother of his children to endure all the shit his mot…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/19 09:42 PM
27

This is so much of reality in one sentence. Any men COULD be high value but many just aren't willing (or able?) to put in the effort. I won't say it's not tough because that would be lie. Getting a better life always requires understanding your own flaws, being able to see where you kept yourself down even after the bad situation that was the trigger for you being at a bad place, putting in effort looking for solutions / inspiration and then practising this solution. But I prefer doing all this …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/19 09:10 PM
17

I think this post is more an answer to another post where the question was asked because the men commenting there talked (again, like always) about how evil expensive dates are because "you have to vet her worth first". So the question was: What worth do you bring? But to answer your question: I think any person can have a high worth when they are respectful and willing to learn and grow their entire life. And I think this fits beautifully into the philosophy of this sub: Grow yourself but expec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/19 09:04 PM
80

Oh no, a woman with thoughts? What comes next? She wants some effort from the guy? That's the first sign the apocalypse is coming! /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/19 08:05 PM
36

Holy shit, I kind of love the mod response of "this is a response to PUA, get over it. If PUA is okay, then FDS is as well". While it isn't completely true, I like this "get over it" :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/19 07:40 PM
31

Come on, what do we expect? Low value guys not meshing things together that don't work together at all? Take the harshness out of the sub's description and it's only: Work to be the best version of yourself but also expect this from a guy! They just get mad because this is serious effort and work (and because many don't get this). Just look how many comments on that post are a diagnosis of what we are just based on them reading a few posts. I have never met a more helpful group of people who als…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/19 07:17 PM
13

Funny enough - should he not want to, it's preference and okay. I shame your kink if you shame my right to say no. And then I block you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/19 05:23 PM
10

Thank you, I didn't know that. I should read more about how our body works! So he is not only a moron, but his superpower is "half-truth".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/19 12:18 PM
28

If we talk about quality of reproduction, we shouldn't forget how useless sperm gets once the guy gets older. Or treats his balls badly. Or is generally a dick to his own body. Have you ever seen bad quality sperm under the microscope? It looks so funny and sad at the same time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/19 11:51 AM
12

Well... I think sometimes you need some humour. It's actually kinda funny how what they value most in life, their "peepee", is a fucking failure because they mistreated how their brain reacts to sexual stimuli so badly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/19 11:49 AM
36

Can someone explain me how his math is supposed to work? Thinking about how you get your periods starting at age 10 to 15 and the cycle ending maybe in your 50s, it doesn't sound like this is true at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/19 11:38 AM
30

"OOPS, that was a mistake but now the evil Tinder app doesn't let me fix it! Oh noes!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/19 10:30 AM
50

At least she only bought lingerie - I bet there are even more women who put up with what their "partner" saw in porn because it's "a healthy fetish" just so they can have sex again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/19 09:57 AM
11

One approach to questioning stuff is "What would he do for himself?". A high value couple treats each other with respect which comes with some form of "I don't do stuff that I myself would disapprove of / dislike". Whenever he treats you worse than he'd treat himself, it's time to step away. Don't look for reasons. Take for example the "pay the whole bill" thing. Your dad trained you to pay for everything. This gets you guys who wouldn't do the very same - so step away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/19 10:43 AM
21

"You won't get a chance to be with a guy like me ever again." I wanted to write "Thank God for that" but honestly, thank everyone for that. One less problem to deal with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/19 07:16 AM
9

They stop themselves rather well. Imagine having a guy who instantly stands up after sex and leaves you be when you still want time with him and still not breaking up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/19 07:13 AM
7

I don't know. A female political leader is no guarantee for anything. Look at Germany. I don't see much that has changed for women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/19 07:08 AM
20

That's men. "We're back, now we can take over from you feeble women!" without any afterthought. It's interesting to see that women were expected to work normally during the war and still, normal rights like being able to work without permission still wasn't granted until much later (I think the 60s in my country).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/19 07:01 AM
3

You are absolutely right. I just think that while you can't change what evolution made over millenia, you can change the conscious part of how you see the world and other people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 05:24 AM
9

The sad thing is that this is something that is true for us all, but we as women are conditioned to rather think about a positive possible outcome and work for it while men are conditioned to look for opportunities. People who should be role models (mothers, grandmothers, aunts and so on) are often providing for their men without anything in return. They then teach us that this is normal and MAYBE he'll bring some flowers (she doesn't like) for wedding anniversary. But that makes him a good husb…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/19 08:41 PM
27

I see it pretty similar. A guy who is very religious often comes with some pretty disturbing views about women (and sometimes even science). No dating material here. And they often want to get you to believe in the same things they do. On the other hand, a guy who believes in something but can accept that other people don't or believe in something different and is intelligent enough to see that religious books were written long enough ago that science has changed, can be a good thing. He's respe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/19 08:10 PM
2

I need more space for mugs. "No is a complete sentence" would be my new favorite one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/19 06:25 PM
16

Honestly, with some men, that's a level up. My dad didn't buy my mother the right color of flowers in 17 years (I think). He just assumed she likes the same colors as his mom does because she never complained (talk about low value people). I then talked to him when we were alone and told him my mom's favorite colors are pink and violet. You know, just like the clothes she wears and things she buys. Not obvious at all /s My point? Just don't even start surrounding yourself with these men. Anythin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/19 06:20 PM
28

Okay, I keep the age gap out of it because I think there is this glaring big red flag: "No one needs to know if we do something". Holy shit, can he be even more shady?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/19 06:12 PM
35

I feel like there was a push in the last years to tell people that any other preference than being queer is something you chose because of hate. And it's not true at all. If you're not attracted to a guy who likes to kiss men and women, then that's okay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/19 06:08 PM
35

I wouldn't want to be around a person with this poor self reflection abilities. Does he even react any better when there's any fallout with a friend or family? Seeing this here, I kind of doubt it. Just saying the other side is crazy is a classic tactic which is often used by narcs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/19 06:04 PM
39

When you feel like he hasn't put any effort into it, cut him off. You don't want a guy who just gets you without effort. It's important to understand that the problem isn't "he's not paying for food" but that you feel he's not putting the effort in. Paying or not paying is a symptom, low effort is the root / cause.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/19 06:01 PM
58

Came to point out that the same. The very same bald, short guy then wants a gorgeous woman and is angry when she isn't attracted to him. That's the whole problem. You want the right to look for women who you're attracted to? Guess what, they have the same right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/19 04:30 PM
4

But to be honest, whatever you do, you'll get judged for it. If you do "girly" stuff, you can get things like you're shallow, if you do distance yourself from girly stuff, you'll hear other stuff. Always be yourself. At least then you can be proud of what other people judge you for and ignore their dumb shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/19 01:52 PM
2

Sure but still, it's long over and he should do his best so get really over her. Blocking her so he can't check, counseling, self help. You have to move on after something bad happened to you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/19 11:02 AM
17

Maybe someone should teach people basic economics: Investments are NEVER safe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/19 04:08 PM
27

She just sounds like she doesn't feel like he's a good partner but maybe a nice friend. She doesn't mind "hanging out" but doesn't want a date. Shit happens. Life is also about learning to live with disappointments like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/19 04:04 PM
4

The only good thing you can say about him... he's at least not lying. You know. Doesn't make him better but hey, at least you're not wasting time with a dbag who lies until you find his wife and children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/19 03:12 PM
29

I imagine a toddler putting hands over his ears every time I hear a guy talking about how "no one ever complained" about his performance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/19 03:01 PM
86

Have you read some of OP's comments about her being always somehow responsible for him because she's the older sibling? Typical younger male sibling syndrome, just with a girl that now probably can't get an abortion included. You need proof why using condoms is a must until you feel more than sure about his commitment? Here you have plenty in one post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/19 09:00 AM
56

Honestly, I was so angry while I read that in the morning. What the fuck is wrong with this guy? He is such an utter POS for not using condoms and then "whoopsie, but she was on the pill, I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO PAY!" Fuck everyone who agrees with OP's brother.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/19 08:57 AM
5

I'm not perfect is literally the lazy excuse of people who can't own up to their shit. I know and knew too many people who started like this and guess what? Half hearted nopology and nothing has ever changed
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/19 04:36 PM
5

From experience, I'd say he also wasn't the type of person who profits from spending so much money on one PC. I put together parts for people so they just had to buy them and build the PC themselves and I can tell you, most don't have a clue about value. But anyway, coming late to work without a good reason is bullshit enough, doing it while your company watches for signs that they didn't make the right decision hiring you is enormously stupid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/19 04:28 PM
76

The thing is: Most men are bad to begin with. Having a small penis coupled with being bad at foreplay is an instant out. I think it has to "fit". I don't like too small ones because I don't feel a thing and I also dislike too big ones because it hurts. How big or small could still be okay for you but not okay for another person varies a bit, I guess. Maybe a non-fitting one can also be okay with you if he can make up for it by being very good at pleasuring you in other ways.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/19 04:19 PM
3

I somehow cannot imagine red pill guys not thinking about how to still act like they are good and valuable men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/19 04:09 PM
14

Waiting for "found the perfect venue but still no proposal" and "I'd love to have a wedding in summer but my bf won't propose to me - am I doing something wrong?".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/19 04:06 PM
11

Reading gaming subs at the moment just hurts my eyes. How they celebrate the slurs that are normal in Halo blows my mind. And like with every hobby it's really more about balance than anything else. A guy who'll go home, doesn't do anything besides taking a package of food that doesn't need much attention to prepare and sit in front of his computer or console just so he has maximum gaming time isn't what you should be looking for. A guy who has more than one interest and still finds time for you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/19 03:54 PM
4

That could be true. A certain bluntness that could be seen as rudeness isn't bad in Germany. Quite the opposite in some regions. Maybe that's why kindness could also be seen as unimportant or even a bad trait or you'll get taught that you have to be able to take more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/19 12:57 PM
3

At the very least, they say "I will use you for my pleasure but not in an illegal way". Maybe they got the accusation that they behave like a rapist or at least shady and so that's what they think about. Any comment in this direction really is a massive red flag. That's why I'm adamant about telling people to trust their gut. The brain is taught way too much about weighing positives and negatives or doubting the initial meaning. Your first instinct isn't biased like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/19 10:49 AM
2

Don't try to understand this. They would tell another guy that having preferences is normal and nothing you can change. If it's not the same for you, then it's a double standard and you can safely ignore the guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/19 10:14 AM
14

Yeah, you see mostly three reactions that aren't outright hostile: Tolerating (you don't like it and don't make a big secret out of it but you don't say too much because you can see it's important to the other person - many eyerolls included), accepting (you don't like it but see it's important to the other person so you find a way to stop being negative about it) and supporting (you don't like it or don't care about it but because it's important to someone else, you at least know the bare minim…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/19 09:51 AM
7

But this lying shit is why I think every approach is valid in this situation: Telling him you use birth control to see if he thinks about his and (for you most important) YOUR health. Or telling him you don't use bc to see if he reacts like you ruined every Christmas he ever had. However you approach the situation, watch for those signs. I'm really unable to use hormonal birth control (and stupid old me thought their disappointment was NORMAL, but thankfully I still was adamant) - when I'll have…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/19 09:34 AM
5

But the percentages for kindness are still shocking. Germany less than 50%? The fuck?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/19 09:22 AM
3

That's a lesson I learned in a very weird way. Had a "date" with a guy and at the first moment I wanted to go out politely, he started with comments about him not being a rapist or murderer. I shit you not, I was going from very sure about myself to being very afraid in this very instant. I needed more than an hour more to get out without feeling like he was following me. The most dubious men have the strongest excuses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/19 09:18 AM
12

Yep, the couple of days are idiotic. Even while graduating, you have a few minutes each day - study breaks, food breaks, whatever breaks. Texting doesn't require more than a few minutes. He also had the time. See how fast he can respond when he gets a "no".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/19 08:32 AM
22

Yeah, I feel this is a typical December thing. He texts you now because it's close to Christmas and "testing the water" won't hurt. That's nothing you have to respond to. If you see him, stay polite - but that's it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/19 08:29 AM
15

The police could help you get your cat and maybe some more stuff out of there. It doesn't sound like a good idea to go there alone - just ask your local police for help. The worst they could do is say no although I doubt they would when you tell them what you told us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/19 08:24 AM
7

Well, most today probably grew up with those "battle hardened" men from movies. I think there aren't that many HVM attributes shown in those. Also, the part about "nobody's perfect" is so absurd. No one's asking for it. We're asking for emotionally grown up people who can admit to mistakes, learn from those and are down to make their SO a priority.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/19 08:18 AM
6

Shoot lasers and fly? Is that guy jealous of Superman?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/19 08:11 AM
4

Oh yes. Every time you have a bad mood, even if you have excellent reasons for it? "Are you on your period?" No, I'm a living being capable of feeling a broad range of emotions, you dimwit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 03:40 PM
13

The comments are rather interesting, they really speculate OP groomed his fiance. It really sounds concerning how he had more than one relationship without proper protection, then knocked up one and lets his fiance raise the child without her getting proper legal rights for doing so. Poor thing should look for a good job and dump him. There are even way better LVM than this POS out there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 03:35 PM
3

My goal isn't even enjoying it, just getting through it. I dislike Christmas season.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/19 01:54 PM
7

When I read that post, I really wanted to ask about whether protection was used all the time, no condom ever broke etc. This issue is to complex for reddit to be honest because we can't know what this FWB thinks about this. She could be heartbroken about how protection failed and be somewhere without good access to abortions. She could have asked him about if he's there supporting her and he could have thought so long that abortion is no longer an option. We don't know any of this, only that he'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/19 07:48 PM
76

That's why my answer to "then just don't get pregnant" would probably have been "will do by not fucking you". Come on, he's "allergic". Everyone with real allergies won't even think about it because they provide the stuff they need so they don't get their allergy problems.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/19 06:01 PM
43

A hookup who doesn't treat you respectfully won't care about your pleasure, so why give him what he wants? Also, a small thing: He thinks someone who has a "princess" attitude expects a proper date. So that's how he sees straight away if someone could be a HVW which means not what he could expect sex from right away. And I think that's just all the better for us - he will step away before we put in way too much time just to see how vile he truly is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/19 04:08 PM
23

Instead of asking for promises, he could just tell what he did to fuck up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/19 01:47 PM
2

I actually already dislike his emoji usage. I just can't stand it when people want something from you (even only the answer to a question) and need so many emojis to communicate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/19 07:12 PM
42

I think it's even more telling that all they talk about how they tried to fix the issue is ONLY initiating sex. They almost never talk about trying to find the reason they have a dead bedroom to begin with - it's instantly "my partner has low libido". Yeah, no, you just suck at having a relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/19 08:14 AM
5

And because of what? Because of a person not being interested after one date. Poor him. That could crush the logic senses of every emotional mature adult /s But honestly, "cunty" made me crack up :D That is such a bad insult, I can't even
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/19 09:46 PM
210

But never forget that just because he lied doesn't mean he's a liar /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/19 04:51 PM
50

But nothing tops his last try after she already told him this was the last straw: "I just was about to say sorry! I swear! It's all just old age memory loss, I know how to behave!!!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/19 09:00 AM
7

I kind of also feel there are many gamers who treat women completely different based on where they met them. They're just so used this is a male dominated space that they think they can be lewd to anyone entering this "holy sanctum of manhood". Some of them then talk to their girlfriends (thanks to all people who don't know how to mute your mic) and be such sweethearts you don't know if this is the same person. When you're entering a male dominated space, be prepared to instantly get packed into…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 07:55 PM
4

You're absolutely right about this. A guy who feels threatened by a woman having strong opinions isn't good material. I just hate that people think they can snoop around. If I want so badly to let someone see my personal stuff, I can give them my phone after I unlocked it. And if I can take easy precautions so that it won't happen that he does it without my knowledge, that doesn't hurt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 07:21 PM
18

Yeah, I love playing video games but so many guys that have a passion for it aren't worth it. We have the gatekeepers who think they can impress you by correcting your play style, the failed gatekeepers who then pout like a toddler because you're better than them or know more than them (got a guy to stop playing WoW because I got into a good raiding group within a few months, something he never accomplished), and then the general nasty ones who'd love to have a relationship with their computer b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 05:36 PM
23

But there's nothing more important than you're working on your self-worth now. You're here - what's so important about mistakes you made in the past now? (:
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 06:48 PM
9

Relaxing your vagina? How in the world... The blatant lying in dating is so ridiculous. "Have boundaries, have standards" - "The men was always in charge. That's only natural and how it should be". Mhhhhmmmm. Sure thing /s Next thing you know you've been abused because you thought this is normal and such people still shit on you for not "vetting" well enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 06:07 PM
9

If that's the vibe you're getting, dump him. You don't want a guy you are afraid will do this to you. Trust your gut. But from what I'm reading from you talking about yourself: You should also work on that. Talking about yourself not being "conventionally attractive" is not healthy or helpful. If you think it would be a healthy decision to lose weight and help you - go for it. But also try to address the reasons you feel not attractive enough to call yourself that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 04:18 PM
51

Please stop shaming me for not being the perfect pick me helping people to get dates to replace me! :'( /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 01:08 PM
108

Oh, she should totally do it. And chat with them so all he has to is meet and fuck them. It's HEALTHY. I learned this from such a realistic comic. /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 01:05 PM
6

Okay, now I have to laugh. This is like all those entitled bastards who instantly bring up how hurt they are from previous relationships hoping that they got the pick me jackpot which will care for him hoping she'll "earn" him being nice and making her the priority in his life while he just wants to do whatever it is he wants to do without judgment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 10:46 AM
2

Wow. I sometimes can't cope with tomato sauce because of sensory issues and still think this guy is childish. Dating is so much about compatibility - if you are adventurous, of course you shouldn't date someone who eats only a few things. It's like looking for someone who wants nothing more than to travel as many places as he can while being most comfortable at home at peace.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 08:32 AM
9

I don't really know how to say this but I value my privacy very highly, no matter who it is I'm talking about. And that includes me being able to reflect stuff I don't feel ready to speak about to people "irl". Sometimes you have to think about stuff a bit. You also don't need a big reason for keeping your privacy. You are allowed to have some level of privacy / boundaries while in a relationship - this is even non-negotiable. And it's barely 12 layers of security to set up passwords correctly. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 09:24 PM
22

Oh yeah, because she's here, she definitely has every view you could ever read in this sub. We aren't individuals, we're a hive mind. Obviously. /s Okay, this is why you password protect everything. Be careful about your stuff. And I really mean passwords, if you want to use fingerprint or face unlock, please look up if there are problems with your hardware / OS and this unlock method. Even if there isn't anything known, there isn't any damage in setting up a password as a second security measur…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 06:35 PM
34

I sometimes fear some women are splitting the guy into two "parts": Usual behavior without his dick involved and behavior in bed when his dick is involved. And the latter isn't taken into consideration when assessing the guy's behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 05:25 PM
46

This so much. Their ideology is sickening. Just watch videos about child drag queens. They are happy and celebrate children which perform sexual dances because it's somehow liberating?! This is totally not age appropriate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 01:50 PM
9

And what do all of those have in common? Him and him not doing anything about it. Don't ever trust a guy who only complains and does NOTHING. Either he's the cause of all problems or he's lazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 01:34 PM
47

Even in cases where it's true that he got through a bad relationship and it was bad for him - then take a break from dating and get yourself together?! What do they expect? A therapist girlfriend? They can go fuck themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 06:15 AM
6

Both tees are so disturbing for very different reasons.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/19 04:09 PM
9

I don't even understand how this can happen. Honestly, HOW?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/19 04:15 PM
10

That's what I think, too. He is really lazy and she supports it. Maybe it's better for her if he leaves her so she could see that caring 100% for someone like him won't get you a forever relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/19 08:26 AM
5

They actually only rarely have to because there are so many women who let them be like this. That's why it's important that we help each other by raising awareness about such things like this story not being okay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/19 08:26 PM
1

I didn't know many people who were bi but the one that I did know just seemed to be very monogamous in relationships. So why is this such a common theme that bi people go on and try to talk their partners into having sex with the other gender, too, because they are bi and something would be missing in their life? Being bi isn't a cheating pass, as far as I'm aware.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/19 08:13 PM
3

Shit happens ;) But you're absolutely right, all the more reason to be here and learn from each other!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/19 08:07 PM
2

Men also kind of get away easily with "my skin is easily irritated". I have this issue and you'll get instant "but there are other options, aren't there?".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/19 08:06 PM
9

Honestly, you kept this whole conversation too long. He insulted you, yet you still gave him attention. Why? This will keep you angry and he is probably even proud about this whole shit. He says you're adequate? "byyyeee" and instant block. Just let him look for another "adequate" woman if he thinks his adequate ass will be enough for that task.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/19 08:01 PM
14

That's why I would be suspicious the second he'd try to let me tell me to go through his phone. We have so much data on our phones - and to be quite frank, I would never let someone just look through my phone. So why would anyone let me do this without me even asking for it? No way in hell is it just because he's oh so innocent and wants to prove it. In the end, it will always come down to how much you trust a person based on how many red flags you could see in his behavior. There are always way…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/19 07:52 PM
13

It's sadly something that maaany people do: Something bad happens because they've made a mistake and instead of accepting it, owning up and correcting it, they look for someone to blame. I watched a bit of older Hell's Kitchen episodes today and of course, it was almost always someone else who was at fault. It's so much easier than doing the hard work that will make you better. The thing that infuriates me is that this is about disrespecting a whole gender for their own fault. It's not one perso…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/19 07:39 PM
12

She's intimidating - in a positive way of course! Talk about goals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/19 07:29 PM
6

The amount of posts with the flair "Am I Overreacting?" or just the question in it if one is controlling made by women that then goes on about what shit he does is mind boggling. This is an excellent example. There are too many men out there that use a woman like here and make her doubt herself completely. Women like her should learn to really listen to her gut. He follows any possibly available woman on Instagram? Well, you see his commitment to you. Bye.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/19 09:17 AM
3

Whaaaat? Do you want to say that one should do something to find a good partner? /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/19 09:14 AM
5

What the fuck did I just read? It's now considerate to let a guy happily ignore that we have a different biology while it's already tolerated that he doesn't really seem to contribute? Pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/19 09:10 AM
33

Priceless moment when he realized that you didn't just wait for him while he enjoyed his life. He seems to think he can still hurt you. Adorable. What a waste of network data.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/19 08:52 AM
2

It's honestly not only that they get some expectations from porn that should not be an expectation, it's that so many women put up with it. Some put up with a guy who can't make sex enjoyable with them, don't even say anything. So even if they have a guy who would listen should they ever tell him what to do, they don't. Other women feeling "sexually empowered" spreading things like "you should try [xy], it's good and great that we can pleasure him with [xy]".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/19 08:48 AM
-24

You just called yourself ugly as if it's something positive...? That's really not good for yourself. You should work on how you see yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/19 04:35 PM
155

I was actually always a person with male friends but it can get plain weird when they are in a relationship pretty quickly. Also it's hard to find good male friends because so many of them think about you not as a friend at very many points in your friendship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/19 02:54 PM
22

TIL you're basically an extremist when you have standards
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/19 06:21 PM
56

Yeah, there are double standards. And often those with double standards are the loudest. But are you willing to have enough time for ranting about those double standards? I think it's better to focus on yourself, helping others and finding a guy worthy because he has high standards for himself AND a possible relationship partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/19 04:54 PM
24

Honestly, from reading this I only got the feeling this is unbalanced. Just want to point two sentences out: "postpartum hit" - and all of a sudden she was bonkers? There's a pretty well known form of depression that hits young mothers. Maybe she needed help and he denied it. Still early stages of their child's life: "She complained about me being lazy (and to be fair I was being lazy [...])" - this even strengthened my view of him not helping because he "busted his ass" already and leaving her …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/19 06:28 AM
18

Do you want to tell me... that a 27 year old "man" expected the woman he cheated on to trust him after that? For real?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/19 06:02 AM
15

I am sorry for the fine wine in this comparison. It gets pampered to even be that fine wine while way too many men get any cheap cosmetic item and expect it to work on all areas of their body.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/19 05:55 AM
23

Yeah, this is just stuff he says casually on a first date. That's pathetic. But better warned early by his behavior than him playing nice and then being an ass a few months later.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/19 05:31 AM
10

I'd love to see his face if he pulls that shit with a high value woman and she just says "okay" and goes away. But he seriously thinks he's respectful? He sees that he made a shitty joke. You take responsibility for your behavior. It can happen that you make a bad joke that hurts a person - but then you explain that you meant it as a joke and apologize for hurting the other person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/19 10:22 PM
8

The red pill flair really helps finding the worst of the worst, it seems. Like bickering about standards some women have to vet for guys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/19 10:15 PM
8

I have to say I'm not sure how to spot commitment issues in the very early stages. Commitment is one of the few things I would even start with some timelines but I only have some for long term stuff like no marriage after a few years means bye. I often read about "if he doesn't ask for exclusivity after x months, then leave" but I don't feel like this is really asked where I live? So this is still a bit hard for me to wrap my head around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/19 09:45 PM
27

Especially for first dates, I never experienced a guy expecting me to pay a cent. That maybe came later on. But honestly, it's also not that much of a budget thing for many. When you're really young, like 18, you're still in school or just starting to work. But the guys you'll date are in the same situation. And still, they paid for the dates without even considering going dutch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/19 09:37 PM
42

It's so sad to see women accepting men to just keep them around without any serious commitment for years. They were together five years without even being engaged and then three years more without marrying? Why? You don't have to rush the big wedding party - that costs a lot of money and good venues can also be booked out for a long time so often not possible, but hey, legal marriage with a few family members and friends isn't expensive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/19 09:24 PM
19

You just have to "love" the logic of guys expecting a nice ass but being offended that a woman also has certain things she finds attractive or not attractive. Yeah, there are double standards in both directions but I feel like it's even "called out" if a woman dares to have standards while guys can speak pretty openly about having things they like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/19 10:09 AM
8

I'm completely hetero, this just reminds me of a conversation I had with an idiot. We talked a bit and somehow came to the topic of relationships and from then on, it got downhill. So he ends up saying something like "lesbians are so hot, I'd like to watch". And I was like "why should they let you watch? Their sexuality is literally not liking you[r dick]". His response was all I needed to know. It was again something like "but it's hot". So I learned the valuable lesson that whenever a guy thin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/19 09:46 AM
3

But when you're already broke because someone used all your money up, do they think it gets better? If you leave with debt, you can regain your life and pay off that debt. If you stay, he can keep milking you. I see such posts so often and always ask myself this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/19 09:35 AM
10

That's what honestly also makes me very uneasy when I see relationships with a big age gap. Is it really love or need for an older person who looks after you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/19 09:31 AM
34

I can't imagine how hard this is for a woman. That is some rejection no one acknowledges. I only had a boyfriend of one year who got Trans after the relationship ended and its honestly already fucking weird. Now imagine living 10 years with someone and they take away their life because basically, they didn't ever love you and you should still be nice because they couldn't do anything about it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/19 07:51 AM
5

What a total POS. But they always find you at a low :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 06:54 PM
4

Ask yourself how committed you are and how committed he is. You moved to another state for him, take him out. And what does he do for you? From what you're saying, it's more that he does the basics for you: Helping you navigate a place you moved to for HIM, cleaning HIS OWN house while you study - oh, and paying for dates (are they even dates?) he gets pushed into because another person asked. It can be interesting to see how he reacts to you not being satisfied with this relationship but be pre…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 08:26 PM
6

It sounds a bit like me when I was younger. I had a few crushes here and there but it didn't really feel right. Honestly, I just wasn't "ready" to date anyone. Don't rush it. Maybe your avoidance comes from you being too nervous about finding someone because you feel like you're late. Anyone who's urging you doesn't do you any favors.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 08:18 PM
15

Just translating real quick: "I feel totally shitty and my husband doesn't care. Am I the asshole for wanting to feel better?" I seriously will start shouting into a pillow soon because of such ridiculous shit. The pill is medication, it has effects on your body. If you like to take it and don't have any problems - good for you! But if you're wary or have problems taking it, then stop doing so. Find another birth control that works for you. And don't ever DARE to let a guy talk you into doing an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 08:11 PM
7

But she really didn't follow any basic rule about how to find a good guy? Moved in with him after only 4 months? Man, his excuses were really disgusting. "You embarrassed me [by posting ONE PICTURE?!] so I embarrassed you" - go f yourself. "I told you I don't like you posting those pictures" - yeah, that's reason enough to shittalk someone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 07:58 PM
4

Yeah, because it's all about commitment. Even if he really isn't a fan of marriage, he would have done it for you if he's so much into you and you want to get married.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 07:49 PM
-10

Oh, come now. Is there seriously any person on this entire world who has at least a basic understanding of English and doesn't know how to write "fuck" correctly?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 01:48 PM
20

But it's all worth it for the good laugh I got about how we're the real Red Pill ladies! This was too good. edit: y'all, the post in RPW is hilarious, I highly recommend it for entertainment. Seems we all like "betas" because we want a partner who adds value to our life (yes, that also includes financial if you want that!) and respects us for who we are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 12:21 PM
18

It's especially not worth trading for a total asshat who thinks his dick is a gift for humanity. Blergh. How disgusting has a person have to be to make a remark about scars from diabetes?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 12:15 PM
9

Your story sounds so much like the stories I heard by so many people with eating disorders. Welp, it wasn't always a man but people make really shitty remarks without even thinking about what shit they let out of their mouths. So please be safe. It's okay to lose weight, but you should work on not letting that memory of Mr shithead be a constant reminder of your perceived worth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 12:10 PM
6

But as a result, you know better the next time. Don't beat yourself up, you have recognized your mistakes - that's so much more than many other women can say about themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 12:05 PM
19

Yeah, the strategy here for bad men is... block him. Don't even waste your energy on him. So where are those posts telling people to make those accusations?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/19 08:59 AM
5

It's really nerve-wracking to think about how many abusers get away with treating people like garbage by telling them how "good" they are for putting up with their victim.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/19 07:40 PM
3

I found it on Spotify as well: https://open.spotify.com/show/0PMmfPbq6tcMXy2D3RipwY?si=6jK4_4GDQ9KYXUicfzwx4A Will listen to it later, thanks for your recommendation!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/19 02:27 PM
5

I totally get how this is a nuisance. 10+ years ago, you could argue about how you only want to write one SMS, 20+ years ago you could maybe still argue about how you don't want to send too much data when chatting but today? Mobile data gets cheaper and cheaper, smartphones have dictionaries which work through what your incoherent char strings could possibly mean. There is no excuse to use such abbreviations when talking to someone you think is important. And yes, talking about a small thing you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/19 02:24 PM
5

That's the thing I'm wondering a bit about. It's one of the "darker" possible strategies here. Doesn't mean all women here do this. Still they spread it which means people will look into this sub to see what the hype is about - and those who will read the info seeing things like "She has her own career, hobbies, and a great social life that fulfills her emotional needs, so if she does welcome a man in her life, he better be amazing." (which quite frankly is the opposite of hating men but what do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/19 02:15 PM
25

"do you know how lucky you are to have found a man willing to put up with this shit?" I had to stop reading at that point. I heard something like this once - turned much around for me because... I was shocked at how shocked this made me. How dare any person say this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/19 11:03 AM
4

Let's say he really was trying to make a joke: Just don't. Whenever you are getting rejected, you're hurt. It's just plain stupid to then make a joke and expect it to be okay because dark humor and resentment / hurt don't mix well and make vile things happen. But reading his post, he wasn't joking anyway. He's just downplaying what a shitty person he was. A good person explains their behavior by saying they attempted to make a joke and owns up to consequences. A bad person excuses their behavior…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/19 08:37 PM
20

And I'm ashamed of people like her calling other women prostitutes. So now it's prostitution to expect men invest in a nice date? Wow, real classy to look down on people who like to be treated to a nice dinner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/19 08:23 PM
19

The sad truth. The men that post and read here are pretty much the low value men who are now actively trying to tell new posters who are still on the fence that they should go to different subs instead of thinking about if our core values resonate with them. Any self-respecting man who would read here would see that he isn't welcome and wouldn't post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/19 05:30 PM
9

I agree completely. Free yourself from people who think you have to take shit in your life. Clearly, they don't have your well-being on their mind. Think about it like this: For every person you have to throw away (even if it's all people you know), you have more time for new people who respect you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/19 05:24 PM
14

In all the "this is an incel sub" arguments, I saw this one: But if they're going on dates and getting the dates paid for are they really involuntary celibates? Bc i know about the femcel community and as far as i know it's girls and women ranring about men only liking sluts etc, not women going on dates. Thats the opposite of an incel. I think it's kind of hilarious that it's this one post all the time that people use to say something negative about this sub. Why do they think it's their busine…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/19 05:21 PM
6

Yeah, exactly. I don't think there'll ever be any place or person you will agree to 100% but still, the core message here is so good and important. I just try to ignore hate - you'll just get yourself down by listening to it. And it doesn't matter why a person is hateful toward you. A respectful person shows you their care by making criticism in a constructive way. A hateful person isn't worth much in your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/19 05:03 PM
10

So, he's still dating her, not considering her as a girlfriend - is he thinking she should just timidly wait until he's ready to commit to her?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/19 04:47 PM
10

I can only say this over and over: Any respectful person who disagrees with the philosophy of this sub will probably just walk away and never look back. You don't have to agree with everything users here say - I certainly know that there are some things I wouldn't do because it doesn't resonate with me. But the core message is valuable and it seems people either don't get it or are really stupid enough to hate. And that core message in my opinion is just "Be your best self and choose a person wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/19 04:35 PM
15

It's becoming so boring to read "What's it with this sub and [behavior that you for yourself may decide if you do this or not and if a man doesn't like it, he doesn't have to go on dates with you]?!" which are just a person wanting either seeing crazy answers or some people cheering them on. Or the usual woman-hating jerk commenting or dm'ing their nonsense. Thanks for reacting quickly to reports.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/19 04:23 PM
6

Just always be careful about "buts". No matter what reason he gives. He said "I like you but...". I tend to think a "but" after "I [am / do xyz" invalidates this first part completely. If he likes you that much, he will work to get his shit together. If he doesn't like you, he'll just tell you he likes you and then complain about what a poor guy he is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/19 08:36 AM
-1

So because some people here fall in your definition of gold digging women, even while you don't know anything about their reasoning, you think you can say stuff like "this sub is for gold diggers". You can have a different approach and a different opinion but saying someone is a gold digger solely because they have a different approach / opinion than you is not okay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/19 08:27 AM
2

Why is there such an increase of posts about the money topic? I don't get it. For me, this is equally about commitment and manners. If someone invites someone, even a friend, that can often include paying for them as well. In my language "I invite you" can even mean paying for something they want to have. And another thing from my experience: I never had a good feeling about a guy who started making money a topic early on. Never got a feeling of him being into me if this topic came early on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/19 08:12 AM
7

Oh, I still love this "Byyyyeee" Gif I have somewhere. But I agree. Sex should never be forced. So he should look for his options if he's a guy willing to force it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/19 06:31 AM
1

I think this requires a lot of... practice. Flirting isn't something you just change over night. Try stuff, see if it's something that you like and how others react to it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/19 06:28 AM
20

I think cheating in the first few months shows even more than just that he's a cheater. The first few months are the honeymoon phase, all is well, no fights, you know the stuff. If he already cheats, he's just not really into you. No cheater should be forgiven but in the first few months? Are they serious?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/19 06:19 AM
13

Also I'm laughing hard about the comment about us "wanting to be treated as queens yet not treating their partner as a king". This sub is literally about us trying to find a king who is worthy of king worthy treatment. Which means two equal partners because king and queen are equals respecting the other.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/19 08:29 PM
8

I think it's great to talk about what to do on social media. We often forget that these spaces are something you should still treat carefully. My basic rule is: Whenever you make posts, ask yourself "Would I tell this a random person on the street?" To be honest, these are in my opinion the only things you should post online. Once you post something on the internet, no matter your privacy setting, it's out there, ready to be made a screenshot and posted somewhere else, shared or whatever possibi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/19 08:17 PM
24

So, I don't know where you live but... I have one simple or two simple thoughts about this: Commitment to you and saving up for something are in my opinion not the same thing. Does your engagement ring have to be the most expensive one? Does your marriage have to be a big expensive party? Do you really need an expensive place to be married? I don't think any one of those questions really has to be answered with yes. You can have the simplest ring you can get, a really simple wedding and a simple…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/19 05:43 PM
6

Came to say this. I hate this 1-10 bs. Some people will find you attractive, others don't. When you start looking at diagrams which show what 1-10 look like, you're just setting yourself up for doubting your own worth. Looks are as much about how you look as they are about how much you make out of it. Nice looking clothes, good skin care, some make up, well care for hair etc. will make a difference. So stop concentrating on "I have to be a 6" and start concentrating on how you can improve your l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/19 03:06 PM
16

Incels are a very special breed. They call everyone hateful toward them while being hateful all the time. Read r/IncelTears for a bit, it's mindblowing how they cannot see how their celibacy is their own fault.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/19 02:56 PM
7

Yes, I even heard an argument against female gyns a lot - seems many aren't careful at all down there. Dunno, I had many good male doctors, many bad male doctors, but same with female ones, there are good and bad ones.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/19 02:53 PM
12

It's about working out an agreement about who does what that both can agree to. I never saw any benefits in not talking about this and acting like we should just do as gender roles from the 50s suggest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/19 02:46 PM
21

Because there's none. Feminism got us women the ability to make choices for ourselves - that includes obeying your husband if it makes you so darn happy. But get this into the thick skull of someone who wants to believe gender equality works towards destroying the civilization.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/19 02:42 PM
1

Thanks for your answer!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/19 07:12 AM
19

Exactly! I don't even have to read more than "hi gals" to know that this isn't a genuine woman from this sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/19 09:01 PM
5

I talk about this often more in spaces that talk about disabilities like autism which make learning boundaries really hard. But you know what? It's not only possible but important. The "real world" always holds you accountable to your society's values and rules. And I hate it even more how many parents of children with learning disabilities don't make the effort and just take their disability as an excuse rather than a challenge to help their child be the best they can be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/19 06:52 PM
3

Oh, don't get me started on wage gap and why we as a society are an utter failure for overvaluing weird stuff. And I could talk about this without even using the good ol' "x cent for a dollar" argument. Rationalist really ... idk... confuses me at times. So they try to make arguments and then stop at the half-way point because they think they have proven their point. Tough shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/19 06:39 PM
1

I'm confused. There's a link to a discord in the sidebar - is this server you advertise in this post a new one?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/19 05:34 PM
5

Paying for much of the stuff in a relationship isn't what I would call "help". It's digging your own grave while maintaining his bad habits. No help here, just making his shit possible for a longer time. I know it feels like helping for some people - but it really isn't. If someone is broke because they have a shitty job but can control their money, it's bad but at least they have some self control. But how in the world are people fine with sticking to people who throw around money they don't ha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/19 05:27 PM
19

No shit. A subreddit about putting effort into your dating game but expecting effort in return is called delusional. Or calling someone who doesn't want sex with a person she's not comfortable with narcissist. I'm speechless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/19 02:29 PM
8

Just wanting to say a bit more about reason 2. I think some people confuse "being expensive" with "only certain sums as investment are allowed". I don't think this sub's philosophy will tell you to expect nothing but three star restaurants. It's more like... there's a difference between how he treats women he wants only for "pleasure" and for serious relationships. You want to be the second category. Pleasure dates can be a coffee date he will only drive a few minutes to and have 20min to evalua…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/19 02:21 PM
12

Love this post! It's just extremely important to always value and care for yourself. I have this feeling like many women dream of being in a relationship that will just magically support them or fix their problems. Couldn't be further from the truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/19 02:03 PM
3

Ah, come now, stop throwing them bits of attention. Any respectful man who disagrees with this sub's ideas would just step away and live his life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/19 11:52 AM
20

That's what I was wondering about for some time. If you are oh so interested, then why bitch about an investment that could go wrong? It's not like buying anything is always so secure either, so why is it such a problem with women which could potentially be the one they will keep for the rest of your life? Wouldn't you be ashamed to tell this one and only person that? "You're not even worth a nice dinner" But I guess this is the point that also includes how compatible you really are. A good guy …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/19 08:15 AM
12

Honestly, this sub has gotten me some ideas about feminism I really can agree to. Didn't have this with modern feminism in forever, and I really got disgusted when they started talking about those "poor men" after Cologne a few years back. Especially the first point of the post ("not all men, no reason to be afraid") is just stupid. Didn't your grandma tell you time and time again it's better to be safe than sorry?! Yeah, not all people on this world are scumbags but that doesn't mean the person…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/19 03:25 PM
4

I don't know, I think this is a personal decision. If you don't like to be a teacher for a guy and expect him to be good at sex, that's your decision. If you're willing to tell him how this works, that's your decision as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/19 03:19 PM
1

Don't worry so much. Tell her. Whatever she makes out of it - you have done your duty as a fellow woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/19 03:12 PM
4

If he's actually willing to learn and not just acting like that. I have made the error of trusting that he would listen and do better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/19 03:08 PM
3

I'm always instantly turned off if you make a timeline out of dating. Like "no kiss before date x, up to date y guy has to do [...]". Was dating now getting to know a person to see if you are compatible or your company's next year budget? That's why I like formulations like "kissing / sex only if you feel like he's done enough for you to earn it". But to be more specific: You cannot be old-fashioned and then forget how to treat a lady in an old-fashioned way. All he was doing was cherry picking …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/19 03:05 PM
1

So besides the fact that those should not work in PR, why do you talk so long with them? I could understand if it's fun to see how bad they can be but please tell me you don't waste your time with this by getting anywhere serious. Although I have to say, example 3 is a real train wreck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/19 02:53 PM
6

Maybe it's better to let him think that because it shows very obviously that he's a piece of shit. Even for insecure women. If you know what I mean.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/19 04:42 PM
9

Also fair! I'd say you can send the message to get rid of your frustration (if the date frustrated you), then block him because your time is worth more than his excuses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/19 07:13 AM
27

Is it just me or is male feminism nowadays way too often just a cheap excuse for "pay your own stuff and fuck me instantly because you're oh so liberated and the last generation went on the street for you being able to fuck me"?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/19 06:36 AM
77

Yeah, a guy who instantly tells someone their entire gender is crazy deserves no better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/19 05:22 AM
9

What do you mean with "just"? Sounds a bit dismissive for the possibility of catching diseases. Or getting pregnant which can be a serious health issue for some women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/19 09:16 PM
17

Just watched a video today about a book of a "pick up artist". One of his tactics is negging the women - so you get a normally high value woman as a lower value guy because she's doubting herself. What's better? Warning women of such jerks or letting them fall into RPW territory? I wonder! /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/19 07:31 PM
76

Honestly, just dump him if he tries this. No guy who risks your health is worth your time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/19 06:47 PM
9

Sounds like you didn't have a partner who cares enough or is skilled enough to fulfill your desires. Many men don't. And sadly, many women don't communicate enough and take this shit even in long relationships. A good man will be sure that you're ready before he even starts bringing his penis anywhere close your vagina. And that longer foreplay makes a big difference. Also, jackhammering isn't really... erm... good style, especially not right from the beginning. If a man just does it and expects…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/19 04:46 PM
5

The interesting thing is that the comments are telling her how bad he is. If something's too bad for RPW, then shit really hit the fan. I really had to look twice if this really was RPW sub I was reading.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/19 09:04 AM
9

This is so important. We get taught about how looks aren't that important. Total bs. If you have to force yourself to have sex with someone because you aren't physically attracted to him, you're doing a huge disservice to both of you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/19 09:00 AM
6

I'd phrase it differently but yes, it's very important to still have some form of independence while being in a relationship. She's going all in and letting him trample all over her - just think about the three break-ups she's willing to take. There were probably pretty honest moments for him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/19 08:58 AM
5

This thought made me stop for a second. Then I remembered how women still get called names if they dare to be too open about having many men and men won't. So I doubt his trail of thought about "I would be the a-hole if I had done this". I think in such a specific situation both genders would get a weird look out of it because society isn't used to people getting over break-ups fast, especially if it's a divorce which often means that the marriage has suffered for a long time - you often get a d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/19 08:53 AM
5

I hate how the word chill has this bad rep of being low standard low maintenance (don't ever call yourself low maintenance, that's cringe without end) best friend with vagina vibe. I would much prefer it being a word for "I don't take your bs, I will expect things, and I won't fight you over not doing these things because I will say something once (or never if it's a too big no no) and if you disappoint too much I go because you don't value me enough". Menstrual cramps are a good example of a gu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/19 08:47 AM
1

I'm really glad I could help you! If you need further help, you can write me - and I'm sure, you can also write here or in r/raisedbynarcissists (:
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/19 08:27 AM
7

Sorry to say this but it's really hard to on the one hand tell you how to handle this as a high value woman while letting you still in a mother figure position you got pushed into. Your first responsibility is yourself. Trust me, hard to swallow pill but it's just the way it is. You were horribly abused by your mum, your dad and your dad's GF(s). Is therapy or counseling an option? If not, maybe look into books for self-help (these still help best when also in therapy but well, better than nothi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/19 05:21 PM
2

I wouldn't have requested money but definitely blocked him after first bad message. He's an ass and should be treated as such - by being ignored into oblivion. Any further interaction like requesting money gives him just more room to do or say shitty things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/19 06:44 AM
8

Ha, high five for being called intimidating and maybe even arrogant. I got that a lot - I'm autistic, so I'm a bit no bs by nature. It's great that you don't get insecure over it. Too many women (myself included when I was younger) get really insecure because everyone seems to have a bf so "means it's something wrong with me". Nah, maybe just something very right with you. It's always good to reflect yourself but not good to insecure yourself into the lowest standard category.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/19 06:38 AM
23

I am disgusted by any parent who picks their relationship over their child. Even in small encounters, it's just horrible. IMO, when you get a child, the well-being of your child is your #1 priority, no compromise. Your partner is a grown ass adult who can speak for them self, your child often enough isn't in a position of really being able to do this with people who are 20+ years older than them. In this case, the mother is willingly taking in a guy who is abusing her daughter, and pretty much e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/19 06:34 AM
8

Let's face it: Men have problems when not getting enough action down there (prostate problems), we women have higher chances of getting problems with more actions down there (higher chances of STD, getting pregnant from an idiot). So our "yes" to sex is by far more valuable than that of a man. I feel like the liberal side today is sometimes too much into saying men and women are equal - neglecting biological differences, while the conservative side is living a bit way too far stuck up in their l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/19 06:26 AM
15

That's really rude. Being honest about wanting to split the bill - fine, other person has to decide if they want to continue that but still, fine because honest. Then say it at the restaurant, let the waiter calculate who owns what and this all is done. But doing this via app? How ridiculous and childish!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/19 10:13 AM
5

There are many possible reasons. I am also guilty of some things that taught me well about how I'm not doing anyone a favor by aiming low. I think society has a bit of a cruel teaching about relationships. Way too often we are told not to trust our gut (which often is good at seeing red flags), or to stick with someone because he's sooooooo good. And instead of telling people to have high standards and aim to be their best self, they are often told that they should aim lower because standards se…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/19 10:09 AM
3

Well, at least she dumped him. That's something and all the reasons of that action should be a good reminder of why he isn't worthy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/19 02:24 PM
9

Dodged a fucking bullet. That guy already lied to her before he considered them a couple? Man, red flag overload. And that's just one of the big problems here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/19 11:29 AM
6

I shuddered. Even if I have a very bad day blaming society for everything bad in the world (most likely meaning my toe hurts from running into something), I wouldn't dare starting to play the blame game when talking to a person I want a date / relationship with. You'd be wary if someone from work or a sales person that would blame anyone but themself for their own incompetence, bad luck or whatever. So start being wary of those guys in the dating world if you aren't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/19 08:47 PM
14

I think many people have this idea about relationships that you have to know everything about the other. There are many things you should be open about but not everything you have experienced, done and thought are things you really have to tell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/19 04:48 PM
5

Don't lie. Just don't tell him, even when he's being pushy about it. It's none of his fucking business. This number doesn't define you. We're not horny teenage boys who make a list or make marks in the bed frame about this stuff and then high five each other because we could get people to sleep with us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/19 01:55 PM
13

While I am not a fan of social media in general, the point is totally valid because you want him to be proud that you chose him and show it to everybody. He doesn't do that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/19 01:46 PM
5

I absolutely lost it at "He's not my rapist, so I should feel comfortable" Excuse me, wtf? He doesn't care a bit about you, OP. You say he works for what he wants - but he doesn't work for you, so what does this tell you about his priorities? That man is trying to keep you down and telling you how your mind should work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/19 06:01 AM
6

Honestly, if he's serious, I'd throw him away. It's not important. The only thing that is important is maybe virgin or not because he'd have to change how to communicate with you and being more careful the first time. Numbers are for teenage boys and those who never grew mature enough to leave teenage boy mentality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/19 05:56 AM
2

I sometimes just told the guy that I'm not some pathetic little male teenager making marks in my bedframe to know how many guys I've fucked. I really don't know the number as it's not an important one to me. Doesn't say anything about me why should I care?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/19 05:54 AM
13

To elaborate on this: If he cared, he would have made an effort to see you after cancelling immediately / as soon as possible, not months later or even never. There are some legit reasons to cancel a date but then it's the job of the one cancelling to find a new possible day and time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/19 05:50 AM
7

Like, buying chocolate, strawberries and wine is literally the advice most folks tell people to get their dates or their SO for Valentine’s Day or as a nice romantic gesture. This shit is going to confuse some people out there. I should start collecting shitty excuses. "I don't do nice stuff because it could confuse someone" - yeah, nice try.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/19 05:46 AM
3

Tbh I and many others in this sub wouldn't want casual sex. It's a thing with a high probability of getting you attached to someone you specifically chose for not getting any attachments. But the problem here is not the fwb thing itself, it's the guy you think suitable. He is nowhere near high value and doesn't even seem valuable enough to have any form of relationship with. The thing about sex is that men come way faster than women in most cases. You already experienced it - he got finished in …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/19 07:56 PM
6

What you can do to have things working in your favor is dropping this guy and look for a good replacement. If you don't want real dates and just jump into casual sex - you're decision, not mine. But honestly, sex is utter bs if you don't have a guy caring for you because then he will make it about himself (hence the 2min sex) and won't do anything for your pleasure (which would require self control). You are fooling yourself by saying it was just because you two were tired - in that case he woul…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/19 07:41 PM
11

Can't stress this enough. If you can't go out of these situations and tell yourself you don't know why he doesn't want to be with you so it doesn't matter, then work on it. It's way too important that such stuff can't put you down. If you feel like you have to work on something like getting an idea what you want to do, then start there. You go in situations with the mindset that you don't have much to offer and this guy seems to have much to offer - or at least you see it that way. Why do you fe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/19 07:27 PM
7

You forget that women have desires but also insist on not taking responsibility or risk for them. Women will berate you for not having choked them without asking because asking isn't masculine and you should know when to take control. Then women will say you shouldn't have taken control and you should respect their autonomy and ask or magically 'read their signals'. Talk about who refuses to take responsibility for situations when saying shit like "Men have to sexually abuse a woman because ther…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/19 07:22 PM
3

Consider learning more about red flags. I don't think you can exactly hide this perfectly so there were most likely warning signs in every situation with a guy which you ignored or didn't know about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/19 04:02 PM
8

I think those are the first things you have to ask. But as we are talking often about low value men and how they establish things you "have to do" to "earn their attention / affection", giving yourself the reality check and asking yourself if he lets you do things so he stays or whatever is fair enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/19 04:00 PM
5

Stop for a moment and ask yourself one thing: Why is him not wanting you at the moment the only thing / opinion you're taking into consideration about "something being wrong with you"? There are millions of men out there - he is just one person who doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. You can't even be compatible with all of them out there, exactly like most men won't be the right one for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/19 08:43 AM
17

I have tried multiple times to answer to that post. I just couldn't without being as direct as I can be here. My main concerns are those: If he thinks it's boring and he can't live with it, he should rethink the relationship. "I just get a prostitute as substitute" is in no way okay - no matter how your personal opinion on sex workers is. So there's no way she should blame her "boringness". It was his responsibility to choose a partner he can live with. Second, then he goes on and fucks with a s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/19 08:30 AM
20

This comment nails it. You say you were "sweet" - but what did you have from it? You had a guy who didn't even treat you like a person. You can absolutely be nice - but own up and set some absolutely non-negotiable boundaries and standards. There's no need being nice to undeserving idiots and having a guy in your life just to have a guy in your life. This won't pay of, it won't get you treated well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/19 09:02 PM
20

Well done! (: Honestly, I know this too well. I was for all my life a people pleaser - even my own family was always just telling me I had to call and visit them. I stopped caring. I'm focusing on getting my degree, so I honestly don't even have much time, but I refuse to spend it with people you tell me what to do instead of putting in the effort themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/19 05:41 PM
50

I would stop answering. You said it yourself, he could have just told you he was not feeling well. Instead he chose to let you do all the work for any attention of him for days. Do you want to work like this for hints of attention for him for the entire duration this thing is going?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/19 04:57 PM
7

Yeah, I had some of those "no love" casual sex and I have to say... when you also aren't attached, it can be boring. When you are attached, you just get attached more while he still won't invest in a relationship he isn't into since the very beginning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/19 04:26 PM
5

I found this to be a problem with general statements no matter the topic. "No guy has respect for women he isn't interested in" is false. "Not enough guys have respect for women [they aren't interested in]" would sadly be correct.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/19 06:28 AM
17

What is this shit? She was single at the time. If you want her 100%, then don't dump her. smh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/19 10:42 AM
8

As RPW states that women are (or should be?) mostly interested in long term relations, marriage and getting a family, I understood RPW friendly career as "not so stressful and family friendly".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/19 08:04 PM
21

I couldn't stop ): So I looked through their wiki (can someone please help me overcoming my curiosity?). And yep, I read that one, too. Oh, and that diagram of "when is a woman a [1-10]" which just screamed "know your place". That subreddit is disgusting. They take some good advice you can give people (like "Self care is important" and "Learn to listen") and blow it so much out of proportion. I'm reading so much through r/raisedbynarcissists and all those JustNo subreddits, I cannot even start p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/19 05:11 PM
39

I just looked into the sub because I didn't know it. Stopped reading at "RPW friendly career ideas". Nope. Nope. Just nope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/19 04:52 PM
13

Even if an honest and valuable person doesn't like your standard, they will accept that you have the right to set your own expectations in your life. Don't let even a mass of other people get you down! I dislike this discussions about what you should be expecting in your dating experience. Yeah, I wouldn't expect a guy to pay for dinner - really not -, but I like it. Who wouldn't? But if you expect a man to be able to pay for it - that's your right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/19 09:03 AM
10

Absolutely right! You want a partner who is in love with you, not one who just thought you were nicer to have than everyone else on his list.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/19 04:57 PM
160

I loved how he tried to reverse it by telling you he's giving you a last chance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/19 10:08 AM
15

As I am a bit sensitive to latex, I can also recommend having a latex free one with you. I have long stopped to trust a guy to have good quality condoms (I am quite picky after I had one failing - thankfully before anything happened!), also stops another excuse in the making. But honestly, if he just expects sex without condom just because he doesn't have one: Dump his ass. You don't want a guy in your life who would willingly pass diseases to you just for his pleasure. No matter if you take any…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/19 07:03 PM
165

... or just use birth control.
/r/PussyPassDenied23/09/19 08:24 AM
4

Sadly typical idiot behavior. He dumped the one who wanted him just so he could chase a woman who didn't fit to him well enough to have a serious relationship with. And he only realised when his "safety net" got married.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/19 09:44 PM
9

Why would you marry someone you have an on and off relationship with? For me, it sounds more like a reason for a breakup to find someone I could have a serious relationship with. He really did all of this to himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/19 09:38 PM
6

Wait a minute. They share pictures of women they want to shame for rejecting them or being arrogant in their choice of men (in their opinion)? Seriously not okay. I can understand that rejections sometimes are or seem ridiculous (by men and women) but take it like a decent person and at least censor enough so that this person is nowhere near identifiable if you want to rant a bit. Shouldn't be too difficult.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/19 08:00 PM
1

Yeah, you really need communication. Every body is totally different and I think it needs time to learn how to pleasure a new partner. Some are faster at adapting to that, others need some time. If nothing changes at all (probably because guy doesn't really put the effort into learning), then I would doubt his commitment after some time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/19 08:21 AM
54

Really, she just needs the hair to start warning her environment that she's fully commited to the Karen-ness.
/r/PussyPassDenied13/09/19 08:08 AM
10

Yeah, exactly. If anyone can't argue with your view points or accept your feelings / experiences and tells you this, be careful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/19 03:44 PM
48

He was so nice he just had to insult you. Not contradicting at all :')
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/19 03:50 PM
3

Yes, it really isn't a red flag because with all those privacy scandals everyone should be very careful about social media. So there are legit reasons for not using them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/19 01:00 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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