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ENFP_Canadian Archive

View 9 posts and 250 comments by ENFP_Canadian on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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11

Do not warn the new supply.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 12:08 AM
2

Oh also all the things you mention don't make him high effort. Having a job, place of your own, and helping family is bare minimum.
/r/askFDS16/10/21 06:21 AM
3

Read the handbook. You don't owe anyone your friendliness. Worry about your academics instead.
/r/askFDS16/10/21 06:18 AM
68

No, you can unfriend them and not think about what they'll think of you for doing so.
/r/askFDS16/10/21 06:16 AM
15

All 3 women are pickmes, Rory being the worst and Lorelai not far behind I'm on my autumn rewatch and I can't stop viewing it through an FDS lens. Rory shouldn't be with any of those men. Luke is a LVM. So is Richard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 11:27 AM
24

Oh God ok here we go: Scrote 1: Covert narc. I was 20 and didn't know what a narc was. Mommas boy. Went away for a field trip in college and invited a girl into his tent, then ignored me for 3 weeks after the trip. Then he left his journal open when o drove 3 hours to visit him and found it full of info about his infidelity. Made me out to be crazy after I decided to dump him that weekend and said I made him ride his bike back to his house dangerously because I was justifiably upset and called.h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 08:21 PM
7

um, just wondering what's the show/who the actor is? you described my type...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 09:13 PM
153

Can confirm, I'm a geneticist. The scientific term is the audacia, or the audacity, in English.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 09:01 PM
37

By her responding she is wasting time anyway
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 10:59 AM
81

He wouldn't even get the chance to send as he is already blocked everywhere.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 08:37 AM
46

And he did that to cover up getting his phone back
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 07:45 PM
31

👏👏👏💯💯💯💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 03:13 AM
46

This is me rn...left a narc, healed, then one day I realized that I was enjoying my own company, peace, mental health and vibing alone so much that I genuinely lost the desire to get married or even date. Like, I just don't care. I have so much fun solo travelling and dating myself that it's like...I have complete freedom...why would I wanna give that up. Nobody is gonna love me more than me now. None of what you're experiencing is a problem, society just brainwashed us into thinking it is. So k…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 03:11 AM
125

Hope she stretched before that reach
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 02:58 AM
6

I burst out laughing reading this - good luck buddy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 02:23 PM
296

Ain't nobody comin to the gym with me, that's me time not date time. Walks are for friends only.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 07:32 PM
2

You are 100000% on point. Thank yew 👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 08:35 PM
145

Or left her somewhere to die. He 100% did it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 12:50 PM
5

QUEEN SHIT
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 04:08 PM
13

Garrett is the biggest piece of shit to end all shits
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 02:11 PM
29

100%. Been there, experienced it, never will again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 01:57 PM
13

Yeah, myself and my cat. I'm suspicious of every man until I see through their actions and patterns that I don't need to be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 01:02 AM
14

LEAVE HIM SIS. Listen to your intuition. Stop playing mental gymnastics.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 07:48 PM
6

Now, I'm going to dump his ass when it suits me and enjoy free netflix and prime(i'm on a student budget), then leave the country. LMFAO YES QUEEN. Also, I am so sorry you had to go through this and glad you are seeing things for what they are. Any man with any LV traits is a LVM! Don't settle for mid value. HVM or stay enjoying the happy life you've built for yourself on your own!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 06:09 PM
55

YES. So you feel grateful for the crumbs he gives you because he "could be wjth hotter girls but chose you". Like he did you a favour. Do yourself a favour and dip right the fuck outta that situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 01:53 AM
5

Oh hell no o o o o ohhhh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 01:50 AM
9

Omg I thought I was odd for doing this. It was following fds that made merealize that I'm not going to give access to myself online anymore. I deleted every single social media account, and all my scholarly profiles (old job made me have them). With my new job I just have not added my picture to any profiles and will politely decline these requests. I'm legit DONE with anyone thinking they have access to me unless I specifically allow it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 06:08 PM
18

They can impress me and I still won't allow anyone to disrupt my peace. You disrupt my peace, you won't be at my table. End of.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 04:32 AM
8

Oh girl, been there done that enough times to realize the universe will send you all kinds of shit. It's up to you to choose to not to engage with that shit by setting boundaries and standards for yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 04:10 AM
46

Men have the audacity, and only the audacity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 10:20 AM
1

Why Men Love Bitches by sherry argov taught me this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 05:17 AM
12

Yeah we don't entertain men like this at all. We don't deal with this because these men dont make the cut. FDS doesn't focus on physical attributes that much because it's about strategy, self respect, self love, and building the best life for yourself regardless of relationship status. Any woman can apply FDS to their lives and any woman can have standards, it's society who tells us we can't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 06:51 PM
83

You'll know instinctively. You'll see behaviour that just won't sit right with you, you might try to explain away the behaviour and realize you're having a hard time doing so. Also, if you think it's cheating, and it crosses your boundary, then it's cheating. LVM and NVM will reach over whatever line you have drawn without crossing it just to see how far they can push you. F that shit.
/r/askFDS28/07/21 10:54 AM
6

No, my emotional energy is better spent on my female friendships. I can no longer be bothered by scrotes choosing to scrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 10:45 AM
17

I think it's a vape
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 03:24 AM
30

My ex starter pack
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 05:19 AM
6

Also the "it's not set in stone" is to serve his best interests so you don't make a decision off of yours. This is his way of making sure you "can't get mad" down the road when you two realize you're completely incompatible and he was seeing if you'd go along for the ride.
/r/askFDS20/07/21 09:54 PM
53

This has to be a troll profile
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 01:46 PM
6

"The bar is drowning" 😂😂💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 11:11 PM
18

Aka "do you not tolerate triangulation"?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 11:05 PM
217

Great post,but wanted to point out that you have to be careful with #3. Narcs will talk you up with friends when you're not around so they report back to you that he thinks the world.of you because it serves the narc two purposes: The outside world will.never see him as an abuser, and if you speak up, people will think you are the crazy one or they'll gaslight you for him So he can treat you badly in private and create a trauma bond so you'll never leave and he'll always have supply-- it'll fuck…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 03:36 AM
17

Good catch!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 02:22 PM
86

My ex was like this and all my pickmeisha friends told me it was normal because we've been brainwashed to believe it is, that we are the problem, and that "men will be men". Then when you mention that it makes you uncomfortable, scrotes gaslight with "its not like you don't think other men are attractive" or "you notice other men" even though you're not disrespectful about it. I don't gawk, stare, etc. It's just bullshit we are told to cope with because men can't be bothered to be respectful, th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 02:22 PM
3

💯💯💯💯💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 05:07 AM
2

Omg are you me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 04:06 AM
21

Just remove the social media
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 03:47 AM
49

They're both trash
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 03:44 AM
21

She needs to get off Scrotechat
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 09:15 PM
44

Since FDS, I've learned that the right thing to do is to do me and put myself first. Other people and their opinions can fuck right off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 09:14 PM
3

So the bare minimum
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 11:57 PM
20

When they see you try to pry it out, you're telling them you're willing to be benched. Block and delete is a glorious thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 07:33 AM
39

SO MUCH THIS. These narcs will never take responsibility and be accountable or try to make amends. You activate their shame when you expose them and all they know to do is rage and devalue you for doing it. It never gets better, they only get more abusive. Source: spent 3 years of my life with a POS narc
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 03:02 PM
8

Best I can do is give people vaccines wnen they're meant to get them and not pretend waiting 20 weeks for the 2nd dose is supported by "science"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 03:52 AM
1

It sounds amazing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 03:24 AM
2

TF all I want to do is travel and I'm 32 this girl is slaying
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 03:21 AM
30

So much this. And with narcs, once you show them you won't put up with their shit, they may never hoover you. Because now they know they can't control you = you're labelled bad source of supply.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 04:45 AM
-7

After being with a narcissist, why did you bother with any of this after the first red flag? Also, if you're still struggling with pickmeishaness and ptsd, maybe focus on yourself instead of casually dating. Casual dating will just make your mental health worse. Fix up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 02:07 PM
10

You don't have to get why he isn't afraid to lose you. All you have to get is that he doesn't care, and move on.
/r/askFDS21/06/21 02:01 PM
6

He's not HV. The mask is slipping and now you see the real him.
/r/askFDS21/06/21 01:59 PM
18

Also CF for life!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 11:50 AM
31

The red flag is that he's a OLD user
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 11:16 AM
61

You are trauma bonded, and that's why you feel like you can't leave even though you feel sad and tired. That guilt is part of it. I went through this and wish someone told me to look it up BEFORE I left him. It would've helped me so much to know what I was feeling and the struggle was actually called a trauma bond and that there are ways to begin breaking it. Start there, by reading professional resources and talking to a professional on how to leave when your brain is literally addicted to the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 11:14 AM
23

In addition, why would you pick the place or do any of the work? If he asks you on a date, it's on him to put in the effort to plan it. Unless you get a time, day, and place, you don't have a date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 11:08 AM
10

READ THE HANDBOOK. BLOCK AND DELETE. THE END.
/r/askFDS19/06/21 01:09 PM
1

Yes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 01:50 AM
27

My personal rule: Just don't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 12:20 AM
12

The first red flag was that he was on OLD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 03:15 AM
21

TL;DR: Because being childfree is the fucking best!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 03:13 AM
16

I think neat people think the way we do things can't possibly work for us because it doesn't work for them. Being organized is overrated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 03:10 AM
186

Even suggesting they respect women they're attracted to is giving them far too much credit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 03:05 AM
4

Yeah search the fine af Fridays flair
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 04:09 AM
10

DR RAMANI IS THE BEST
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 08:56 PM
23

Cancel, block, delete
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 06:44 PM
36

"I like being rude and insensitive, especially towards women as I hate them. Telling you upfront makes it ok!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 11:34 AM
52

This is why we block and delete and don't explain ourselves. We don't engage, we don't get roped into conversations. Edit: Doesn't matter why hes acting that way, why he said this, did that, etc. What matters is that you disengage. You did the right thing to block him. Now find something else to mentally engage with, and enjoy the peace of your new scrote-free life.
/r/askFDS07/06/21 05:43 PM
93

Levelling up has zero to do with your marital status or relationship status and is in no way tied to a man. It's about living the most fulfilling life you can for you and creating a happy life for yourself.
/r/askFDS06/06/21 10:10 PM
90

Not even what he wants, because if he wanted her, he would have proposed. He's crying because he's losing the deal where he gets wife benefits for no commitment. Good for Liz.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 10:19 PM
1

Leave him. Move home.
/r/askFDS05/06/21 08:47 PM
4

The second point 💯💯 And the whole post- saved
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 08:01 PM
6

MOOD 👏 FOR 👏 LIFE 👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 07:55 PM
2

Same, girl. My narc ex played me hard with the triangulation. In the future, any man not trying to create secure attachment can fuck right off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 12:25 PM
10

He was incredibly hot in Vikings
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 11:29 PM
12

Glad there's lots of eye bleach today, I'll need it after this one
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 07:57 PM
12

You know you love him, xoxo Gossip girl
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 07:56 PM
4

He's gorgeous
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 02:34 PM
3

Yup, incredibly handsome and stylish. All men should aspire to this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 02:34 PM
9

I've been sleeping on him as a crush; tbh I always loved KJ Apa and consider him the sexy one on Riverdale, never paid that kind of attention to Cole on the show and I've been watching since season 1. Then last night I had the most random dream ever and Cole was in it, in a suit, and KJ was there too. In the dream, I really noticed Cole and less so KJ. Just out here being 30 and having teenage girl dreams. When I woke up and was like "wtffff how did I not notice Cole- hol up it's Fine af Friday …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 02:27 PM
5

Both so hot
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 02:21 PM
23

Victims of emotional abuse and/or narcissistic abuse always say this because the scrote puts them through an idealization phase first (love bombing, affection, gifts, etc) to hook them, then devaluation phase begins slowly, leaving the victim constantly anxious and stressed and doing the most to get things back the way they were ---> how trauma bonds form. My ex did this to me before I knew what narcissism was.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 02:17 PM
28

"I want everything to go back to the way it was before" 🚨abuse alert 🚨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 11:49 AM
20

Wondering if anyone told the wife or can show her this thread...hope she isn't clueless
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 03:31 AM
102

100%. This is the main takeaway from reading that post
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 03:20 AM
44

Yeah fuck OLD, it's like dumpster diving
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 02:33 AM
49

My ex used to do this to me all the time. He said I was out of his league. I think scrotes do this to devalue you and make you feel like you're not enough so you don't abandon them. Narc shit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 02:40 AM
10

💀🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 02:35 AM
71

I love myself enough to unpack nobody's shit but my own
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 02:33 AM
60

All I have to say to this is wow....I cannot believe my former self actually put up with this for 3 years and didn't realize this was happening to me back then (broke up with him for other reasons, and this is just another realization proving I made the right choice to end it). I've come a long way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 08:41 PM
11

QUEEN SHIT
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 04:33 PM
2

Look for professional help on this one. Divorce may be an option.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 10:59 AM
14

Im also a WOC. Toronto is a cesspool of LVM and NVM, unaffordable everything, racist people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 03:18 AM
34

Damn, my narc ex did this and I didn't even know the takeaway game was a thing. Glad I left his toxic ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 03:07 AM
4

Pulling your weight with chores isn't love you utterly useless asshat. It's as much your fucking responsibility as it is hers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 12:11 PM
2

Vikings 🥵🥵🥵🔥🔥🔥🔥
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 12:08 PM
16

THIS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 11:55 AM
41

That's a lot of words to say "I'm a pickmeisha "
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 03:12 AM
3

Yup. NARC ALERT
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 02:26 AM
6

I'm not a fan of the climber build on guys but all their personalities sucked anyway. And yes, the hygiene- 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 02:19 AM
11

Shy man = a complete turn off and possible covert narcissist
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 01:54 AM
3

💯💯💯💯💯💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 01:28 AM
36

I'm a climber. I love it. But I would never date another climber. It's all they care about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 09:46 PM
11

He was wholesome af in Never Have I Ever
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 08:22 PM
25

Yes I love her
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 03:37 PM
189

Sort of unrelated, but I watched the pilot for the first time the other day and I could only see this character through an FDS lens. Aka, he's a fucking low value scrote. I googled his character and everyone seems to love him. I still think he is a piece of shit. Thank you FDS for helping me raise my standards and spot walking red flags in men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 03:32 PM
1

I love this question and think about jow different things would've been if I knew about fds 2 years ago. I would've never met him because I wouldn't have bothered with old had I followed fds.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 03:08 AM
2

Yup, former pickmeisha me would have been like omg he sounds aWeSoMe. Now- caught the first red flag in the second sentence of his bio
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 03:06 AM
28

She should demote this manchild scrote right out of her life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 05:19 PM
16

Solo travel is the best thing everrrrrr
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 12:20 AM
40

I do this all the time, can confirm, 100% fulfilling
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 09:07 PM
3

one of the yt comments says "back to the chicken and brocolli" lmfao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 09:03 PM
2

His brother is hot too. I actually think his brother is hotter. What they're doing to Jug in season 5 is kinda blah, he looks so....worn and I hope he deals with his drinking problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 06:30 PM
5

haha yes I love all the hot men on riverdale
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 03:48 PM
4

Yayayayayay
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 11:41 AM
14

Or a sign of a narc pretending to be cultured and therefore better than you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 04:55 AM
4

The confession text would have triggered an automatic block delete
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 04:46 AM
17

The ultimate pickmeisha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 01:50 PM
485

Because the scrote has devalued her and pulled her self esteem down so she thinks he's the best she can do even though he's a pos who subscribes to only fans and insults her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 01:46 PM
1

Her stuff should be in high school curriculums
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 03:29 AM
8

PREACH
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 06:30 PM
26

Probably regretting the past wreckade
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 06:28 PM
3

Most men are gross and look gross. I'd rather stay single than pretend to like some LVM for his personality and let him disrupt my peace
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 06:02 PM
2

it makes me so happy to know this angered ugly scrotes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 06:01 PM
15

Love it. I saw this exact tiktok from someone else and I'm curious who the original content creator is. Either way, better that more women spread the message to reach a wider audience!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 04:11 PM
8

Yay also I'm already looking forward to Fine AF Friday
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 01:15 PM
66

YES Dr Ramani is better than any therapy I've ever had for recovering from narc abuse
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 01:11 PM
22

This. Even if I lived nearby, I wouldn't babysit. I don't do free labour and I'm childfree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 01:01 PM
60

No, she knows what he is and that she's trauma bonded. She has withdrawn from me over the years because I had tried keeping those lines of communication open and voicing concerns with his behaviour or how she feels - I spent hours doing research into how to support someone in this situation and I know her withdrawal is actually a sign of that. I've tried letting her know or sending her resources, encouraged her to go to therapy alone, etc. She knew that having a kid would make it worse, not bett…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 11:37 AM
5

Loving the edit!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 11:29 AM
34

Some pickmeishas would write this though
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 01:28 AM
18

To add to list of unattractive things: poor posture, shorter than me (holy hell my ex used to neg me about being his height), fat on the stomach, small hands, poor fashion choices
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 01:26 AM
44

I don't communicate my standards to men. I just walk away from and/or block men who don't meet them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 01:05 AM
29

👑👑👑👑👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 01:03 AM
33

GOOD! I found FDS and left my NVX two weeks later. Yall are doing the Lord's work
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 12:59 AM
236

This is my life rn while my sister takes care of a baby and her narcissistic man child boyfriend
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 12:57 AM
10

experiencing life? solo travel, travel with friends/family
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 03:54 PM
2

His character in the show is LV too, but he's playing a 17/18 year old so I'm hoping his character learns and changes for the better
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 01:56 PM
59

Yes I can confirm this happened, I was the sandwich
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 03:19 AM
14

PREACH
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 03:13 AM
3

Same girl, same
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 03:07 AM
62

My advice Is always the same as yours, then I usually get downvoted to hell by scrotes and pickmeishas. Guess it makes sense, considering that's where the bar is now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 03:04 AM
6

Yeah! He's soooo fine. I loved that show too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 02:43 AM
61

yes girl i love to hear it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 04:50 PM
21

love it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 04:50 PM
71

Yup, I fucking love living my life the way I want, maintaining my body, youth, money, peace, sanity and happiness. One of the best life choices I've ever made.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 04:49 PM
220

Reason #274650299 why I'm childfree
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 02:28 PM
5

Yes I'm so here for this. So many sexy celebrities come to mind
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 11:47 PM
14

This post describes exactly my situation and what I've been feeling for months. Thank you for this reminder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 02:57 PM
3

Ignorance or deliberate carelessness
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 09:40 PM
6

Saving this for myself....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 10:08 PM
24

"You can't take a joke/it was just a joke!"- "I can take a joke; what I will not take is disrespect disguised as a joke".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 10:08 PM
24

Just signed up:)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 05:21 PM
21

Yes!! I'm child free by choice and it's interesting to read about others who made the same choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 11:49 AM
2

Just placed a hold on blink. Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 09:31 PM
1

Wow. I legit could have written this. Same story, same time in relationship, and no trust so I ended it. GOOD FOR YOU, I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 09:19 PM
57

Be the one the normalize it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 09:16 PM
36

"Celebrate the scrote free air" 😄😂😂😂 I'm 💀. Love it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 09:15 PM
66

I love all these questions but some of these narcs are sooo good at lying and telling you what you want to hear.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 09:14 PM
43

Yup, and I remember all the anxiety and disappointment I went through WITH a partner during the pandemic and now that I'm free of his narcissistic low value ass...I'm never going back OLD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 09:06 PM
69

I've not seen a photo of any Queens in this sub and I bet we're all hot af. Scrotes hate because they know they'd never even be on our radars.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 11:50 PM
17

And I couldn't even get my nex to do anything fun and I definitely couldn't count on him, so fuck that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 10:10 PM
93

I'm so fucking grateful for my ex, thank u next 🎶
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 03:08 AM
3

I feel this one in my soul, girl! I sympathize with you. Traveling is my number one hobby and Canada is fucked with the pandemic rn...so my routine looks an awful lot like yours. One day soon I hope , for us all
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 04:01 AM
7

Therapy and educating myself on narcissistic abuse and healing trauma bonds, journalling about my past pickmeisha behaviour and how I let toxicity into my life, answering hard questions (to myself) about my previous lack of standards and boundaries and how they stem from my core wounds. Basically a shit load of tough, uncomfortable inner work while still forgiving myself and being kind to myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 03:58 AM
36

Yes! Or, on the flip side, they justify that as long as they didn't stick their dick in the other woman, none of the other shady shit going on with her is cheating. Then when you call them out on it, they say "I didn't do anything!!" and lie to themselves and to you that this statement is true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 03:01 AM
11

This is fucking spot on, and that last paragraph really resonates with me. I saved this post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 02:57 AM
19

YES! SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PICKMES IN THE BACK
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 09:15 PM
46

Narcs and scrotes looooove nurses because they think they're caring and empathetic and therefore easier to manipulate
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 08:50 PM
143

This is helping me stick to my 12 hour fast
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 05:07 PM
3

Mine too. He would literally sit there justifying Tony's actions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 12:25 PM
32

Red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 04:23 AM
158

Pity party accordingly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 04:06 AM
1

Yeah, didn't know about this one until I met a man shitty enough to use it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 02:34 AM
16

Using Snapchat over the age of 30 (cheater, why do you need to communicate over an app with disappearing messages) liking mafia movies/tv shows and idolizing the bosses who cheat on their wives being friends with their exes because they are "mature" (read: a narc who needs another source of supply) arguing with you over your taste in music because their taste in death metal is superior not wanting to use a heat pack or bandaid because it is "girly" thinking that watching Big Bang Theory is "for …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 11:51 PM
9

Omg....yeah this is Vancouver Island for you. Finding a HVM there is pretty much impossible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 03:33 PM
96

100% can confirm, they're porn addicted, cheaters, narcs or all 3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 04:21 AM
26

Cici B!!! (@thecrimsonkiss on IG). She was the first person whose content helped me understand FDS principles and leave my pickmeisha ways behind before I even had a Reddit account.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 09:52 PM
1

I hear that...it's because our brains are still trauma bonded and wants to make sense of it. Reading Why Does He Do That helped me understand how the good times are an integrated part of the abuse cycle to keep your brain hooked and bonded to the abuser. Also I watched soooo many Dr Ramani videos- she is AMAZING. In my experience she has helped me make sense of things and come to terms and heal more than my therapy has. I'm more at peace now and it definitely will come to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 09:49 PM
9

Same girl
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 09:44 PM
8

My ex too. Fucking pos
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 08:38 PM
47

And even then, they can use burner numbers, snapchat, Instagram messages thag disappear, a second Instagram account , apps that look like a calculator but really it's a dating app, delete messages, put girls names as guys names.....my ex did all of this shit and so I'm just done with OLD and with men for now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 08:36 PM
15

Right in the feels...happened to me too. Good for her for cancelling and walking away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 08:28 PM
8

What the actual flying fuck did I just read?!?! Yeah, have sex you don't wanna have with a man who love bombed you because your trauma bonded brain wants so desperately to get back to that stage after you've been devalued beyond belief. This advice should be fucking illegal. The only option is to leave that toxic relationship, period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 08:24 PM
4

So now we got therapists gaslighting women dafuq
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 05:02 AM
2

Canada, and especially Toronto, are tragic asf. Toronto is wasteman central
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 04:11 AM
5

Hey girl just reading your comments here and in case you might not have looked into this or read about it (maybe you have) You might be experiencing euphoric recall, cognitive dissonance and trying to break your trauma bond. Your comments are sooooo similar to how I felt, what I thought in terms of me leaving him then wondering if it was really that bad, logically knowing it was bad but my heart not believing it, writing a list of all his bad behaviour and still feeling like shit etc. It took me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 03:45 AM
2

We are the prize, this scrote is just mad he can't afford the price of our worth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 03:27 AM
11

To add onto this quality post, another layer to these reasons may be that your ex or whoever he was to you, is a narcissist, and he's hoovering for supply. If you're trying to break your trauma bond, block and delete is legit what you need to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 03:24 AM
120

A mandemic
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 03:13 AM
23

I almost spit out my coffee- he's my age??? He looks way older than 40!! He should try fixing his hair, his eyebrows, and his face before opening his mouth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 11:40 AM
12

Quality post. Thank you for writing this up and for listing concrete actions I can take to put myself first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 02:33 AM
40

Cringe
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 11:49 AM
15

Society enables narcissistic behaviour and narcissists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 09:25 PM
8

This is soooo uplifting. I love to hear it! I did something very similar 2 months ago. Good for you girl!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 09:18 PM
6

Girl same here 32 years and only now seeing the light
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 11:04 PM
28

"No man wants a woman who..." = "No woman who does this thing I'm criticizing wants a man like me so I'll just generalize and flip the script to protect my fragile ego and insecurities"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 10:31 PM
32

I just rewatched High School Musical two nights ago! The movie totally sets up Gabriella to be the "not like other girls" girl and for the audience to hate on Sharpay. Sharpay is confident with a great voice!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 10:29 PM
191

If they're narcs, they do not change. They just learn how to manipulate the next target for supply even better during the idealization phase. It will look like they have changed until the mask drops when devaluation begins.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 10:55 PM
22

Getting trauma bonded to one of these losers sucks, but I'm living and learning
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 11:38 PM
216

This reminder is like food for my soul after dumping an narcissistic ex who complained when I asserted my boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 02:16 PM
3

I cringed so hard I hope my face doesn't get stuck like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 02:09 PM
18

Thank you for sharing. This is the mindset shift I'm working towards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 11:23 AM
71

Hi! Saved your comment for future reference. Do you mind sharing a little more about how you carry yourself in a way that shows you're untied and unbothered please? I would love to learn more if you're willing to share. I'm a recovering pickmeisha and I've been reading and watching videos about the "single til married thing'. Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 04:11 AM
32

YUP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 01:15 PM
2

Fucking narcs
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 11:44 PM
6

No, that man needs to shut the fuck up instead. This reminds me of one of my ex's who told me the same thing because I'm gregarious, a fast talker, and high-energy. We went walking downtown (few years ago in my 20s) and the parliament building was all lit up for Christmas in red and green. The building beside it was lit up too but not as much and in white. My ex went on and on about how much he hated the way the Parliament building was lit up and needed to be toned down and preferred the lightin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 10:56 PM
10

Thank you for the warning. I am sorry you are having to deal with a shitty NVM and a shitty situation. I dumped the narc NVM ex, and so I escaped a future where I would be stuck with his eternal lying and cheating. I appreciate your reminder to be ruthless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 09:21 PM
6

Or a narc who wants to play victim after you're fed up with his poor treatment, lying, disrespect, cheating and gaslighting. So he runs his lying mouth with all of his friends and your mutual friends to poison them against you and play the good guy because YOU left HIM. Because you chose yourself because he didn't choose you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 07:49 PM
15

Haha yes, he had a small dick and the sex absolutely sucked. Can't believe I wasted 4 years of my early 20s with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 12:07 PM
58

His dick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 03:36 AM
79

Yup fuck this shit. NVM ex wanted to buy a house and have me move in and pay rent. So pay his mortgage down while I'm saving for a house. While I'd have to pay rent anywhere, I was just so against getting into a situation like this and I'm glad I didn't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 10:42 PM
16

Needed this. Its been a month and a half and I'm still struggling
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 10:40 PM
29

Chances with pickmeishas
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 08:38 PM
114

It’s a fear tactic so we don’t go for what we really want Exactly. I told this guy that I don't date from a scarcity mindset or operate out of fear that I'll never find a man, because I'm working on my own life and being happy with or without a man. I think his head exploded.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 06:48 PM
178

I just had a big debate with a guy on another subreddit about this very thing. He couldn't wrap his head around the fact that I wouldn't ask a shy guy out, even if that guy was "high value". That I would let that guy pass me by because I didn't pursue him, and "lose out" on a good man". Nah, all I have lost is an unintentional man potentially wasting my time. So basically, I've lost nothing. The FDS mindset helps guard against men like this. Next!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 06:40 PM
43

Same, I'm not fighting for someone who doesn't even know I am worth fighting for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 05:52 PM
170

I agree- you see this dynamic a lot in TV shows and movies. In addition, these shows and movies often glorify "struggle love"- like if it's not confusing or painful, it's not real love. If the guy isn't a "true romantic" (aka love bombing or some other manipulative shit), then it's not real love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 04:23 PM
27

The closest terms I can think of are love bombing and subtle future faking. I'm not sure if that's totally accurate though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 03:51 PM
32

YES OMG. I totally hear where you are coming from. You have every right to disengage if you want to process how you are feeling. This is taking care of YOUR needs first and it is NOT manipulative. Communicating with others when you need to be alone just so others won't feel that you are being rude is putting others first at the expense of yourself. I'm extroverted but I get very introspective and I withdraw to process my emotions when someone (read: shitty narc ex) hurt me. According to him, thi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 03:38 PM
2

I'm saving this post. I've seen so many women on another subreddit in crappy situations with LVM/NVM and they KNOW the man has created that situation, yet all the commenters tell them to "talk to him" and BLAME them for not communicating- as if men are born with no brain and are totally clueless and need to be taught how to be respectful and decent in a relationship. And they don't speak up because they know the man will rage or they'll be "punished" for speaking up which forces them into silenc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 02:41 PM
2

One of my friends hada week-long internal debate with herself about whether to delete photos of her ex husband off Instagram because she didn't want her new boyfriend and his family to see the reminders that she had an ex-husband. DAFUQ? That's your past and a chapter in your life! We're not out here erasing significant experiences in our lives for anyone!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 02:35 PM
16

And what these shitty, low-value men who KNOW they are out of your league do is triangulate and devalue you so they can try bringing you down to their level. Then your mental health is ruined and you constantly feel like shit chasing them for validation. It's fucking manipulative. I no longer feel guilty/shallow for recognizing a looks gap (because that's gaslighting myself) and staying away from those men all together.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 02:32 PM
61

My narc ex was the GOAT at trying to disguise his disrespect and contempt for me as a joke. He would fly into a rage when I would say "I can take a joke, I can't take disrespect disguised as a joke". At first, they disguise really subtle comments and call it a joke to test the waters and see what you'll accept. Then what they say gets worse and worse, all the while still covering it up with "humour". This is also NARCISSISTIC behaviour, not just gross, low-value behaviour.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 02:26 PM
159

Ok, cringe storytime from my pickmeisha days: I totally fell for this. One of my ex's in my 20s did nothing to take care of himself and it showed. I used to idealize him because he wasn't abusive, and would defend him to my friends because "at least he has a good personality". He used to make negative subtle comments about my appearance all the time because I'm a small chested girl with a big butt. He liked women with bigger breasts and made it known. But I always assured him that I liked his pe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 02:17 PM
35

I am never again sharing with a bf the past hurt that ex bfs have inflicted on me. My ex literally used it against me once his mask dropped and the devaluation began. I think I did this in my pickmeisha days as to show how "open" I was and to try to "bond" with him. Fuck that- my past pain and trauma is something I'm dealing with in therapy instead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 02:02 PM
8

Catching feelings is a normal thing. You can still experience angst and pain if it doesn't;t work out with a HVM. I don't think there is a way to switch feelings off that have been developed even as you continue to vet men. Accept those feelings and accept that you can be both strong and vulnerable - it's not either-or. Continue to do the inner work on yourself, level up internally. This might mean going into or continuing counselling/therapy to address any traumas or core wounds that need heali…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 01:47 PM
15

And the number of people in your life, even close friends and family, who will consider you "harsh" or "mean" for looking after your needs first because they too are not used to seeing a woman define her worth for herself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 01:43 PM
14

5 reasons why my narc ex fucking sucks and I wish I weren't trauma bonded: porn addiction, video game addiction, reckless and irresponsible spender, sexist, CHEATER.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 12:54 AM
14

YES!! So happy for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 03:07 PM
61

It is going to get worse. My nvm ex watched porn so much that the sex went from daily to almost non-existent. I have a high libido so he could never use me not wanting sec as an excuse. He would actually brag about going to the bathroom to watch while I was still in bed. Then when we would have sex, he would complain to me that he had ED problems and was taking meds for it. He didn't realize that it was related to porn. It also made him extremely selfish during sex. I dumped him last month. My a…
/r/askFDS17/03/21 11:38 AM
38

My narc ex did this too me. Love bombed me sexually then became extremely selfish and made it all about him. Rejected me all the time. Should've left him sooner.
/r/askFDS11/03/21 10:49 PM
7

The only right answer
/r/askFDS11/03/21 08:48 PM
1

Loving the update.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 03:39 PM
19

Didn't read past the part about the 14 year age gap. Do not proceed.
/r/askFDS04/03/21 12:03 AM
24

The accuracy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 03:17 AM
3

So we just not gonna talk about how he has a wife?
/r/askFDS27/02/21 12:51 AM
16

Yup, this. My ex did this for 2 years.
/r/askFDS25/02/21 10:16 PM
47

For me that's a block and delete. Unless he's got kids and or coparenting with the ex, I've found it never ends well.
/r/askFDS25/02/21 08:18 PM
14

Block and delete. Next!
/r/askFDS23/02/21 06:43 PM
10

No thank u, next
/r/askFDS22/02/21 09:50 PM
1

Thanks everyone, I left him! I'm free!!!
/r/askFDS22/02/21 09:48 PM
35

This.
/r/askFDS22/02/21 05:43 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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