~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| – | JOIN US ON DISCORD - LOOKS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADMost movie stars arent even 8s. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 01:05 AM |
| – | Continuing a “Friendship” with a woman is not a good idea.why do you have to stay or you are not mature for not doing so? You don't have to stay. And I think recognizing and acting out of concern for your mental health is indeed mature. This is perfectly valid. I'm only pointing out that there is also a mature way to remain friends that people do successfully all the time. OP repeatedly suggests such a way doesn't exist. I feel like you can't really understand. I've been practicing what I preach in this thread since I was a teenager. It has always seem… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/07/26 11:00 PM |
| 4 | Continuing a “Friendship” with a woman is not a good idea.Sigh... or you could all just be mature and stay friends because you actually value the friendship. The guy takes "no" for an answer and looks for love elsewhere. The woman accepts his feelings and is careful not to lead him on. It will be a little awkward and might take a few more conversations down the line, but eventually a new normal establishes itself and one day you both look back like this is just another bit of old lore. I know this sounds odd to many people. But in my social world, it's… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/07/26 06:26 PM |
| 2 | A man who can effortlessly get sex is exalted. A man who desires to have sex but is unsuccessful is seen as "entitled "No one blames anyone else for desiring sex. You get blamed for how you handle that desire. Obviously, if people want to give you what you want, there is no friction. You only create the friction by obsessing and complaining about what you cant get for yourself. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/07/26 01:19 AM |
| 11 | People who clown on age gap relationships are toxicThis isnt really a bluepill thing. That is, there exists no strong, mainstream consensus on the kind of age gap you're describing. If you're hearing a lot of pushback, it's likely for one of two reasons. The first is that people with strong, negative opinions are more motivated to be loud about them than people who dont really care. The solution is to spend less time online. The second is that many redpillers take things a lot further. Instead of just dating someone younger because they coincide… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/07/26 12:03 PM |
| 8 | We pathologize male passivity in dating but reward female passivity and nobody can explain why without circular logicwomen have never been largely proactive about anything in history. Well, they did just spend a century fundamentally reshaping gender identity and dynamics in the western world. I'd say that counts for something. On a more personal level, women do seem to be more proactive about forming new social bonds, except for romantic/sexual bonds, hence why they have more friendships and close friendships. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/07/26 03:20 AM |
| 1 | We pathologize male passivity in dating but reward female passivity and nobody can explain why without circular logicThe men who approach women are a heavily filtered sample that overrepresents men who are comfortable pushing women’s boundaries Is there any way to know to what extent this is true? I get why it sounds true: many young men these days claim that the reason they don't approach is because they're afraid of being offensive. But two key things don't necessarily follow. First, that men who approach tend to be more indifferent to women's boundaries. Many are just more self-confident, more extraverted, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/07/26 03:16 AM |
| 24 | We pathologize male passivity in dating but reward female passivity and nobody can explain why without circular logicBut when women are equally passive in dating nobody calls it an avoidance problem. I encourage every woman to be proactive. In most discussions I even encounter, like on other subs or real life, any time a woman says she's struggling or wonders why a guy won't approach her, she is nigh-unanimously told to be proactive instead of waiting. If female passivity is tolerated more generally, there are two obvious reasons. First is that women receive so much male attention already that "You don't talk … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/07/26 08:03 PM |
| 0 | Dating experiments prove men are picky and not as desperate like they claim to be.I already do not say that horseshit. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/07/26 12:08 AM |
| 10 | Dating experiments prove men are picky and not as desperate like they claim to be.So he’s not actually desperate. Making the font bigger doesn't improve it as an argument. They’re a bunch of liars. They’re picky, Then they are picky beggars, which is my point. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/07/26 11:17 PM |
| 16 | Dating experiments prove men are picky and not as desperate like they claim to be.beggars can’t be choosers. You realize this expression exists to criticize beggars for being too choosy. That alone implies that many beggars do, in fact, still try to choose. Your whole argument keeps coming back to this prediction that "If he's really X, he would do Y." That simple formulation isn't reflective of how humans operate on the individual level. It may be logical to apply it to averages or trends across large populations; but on the individual level, a person just isn't that predict… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/07/26 10:01 PM |
| 2 | It isn't worth it to have casual sex with menFAAAAACTS | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/07/26 07:33 PM |
| 4 | Guys need to ask themselves what value they bring to others.I think that if you respond to the question with insecurity, it probably means you're actually already insecure. This just helps bring that issue to the surface. Or, it leads to consistent incongruence when the reasons one might consider themselves desirable fail to result in any meaningful romantic success. The thing about real self-esteem is that it isn't outcome-dependent. I think a lot of men would benefit from that. Knowing one's strengths means fuck and all when those strengths aren't rega… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/07/26 12:51 AM |
| 8 | Guys need to ask themselves what value they bring to others.making everyone insecure about their worth as a person. No one has to respond to this query with insecurity. The obvious best move here is simply to have, or create, an answer. i don't agree with Lilith about much. But I have spent years on reddit asking men seeking advice "Why should she date you, specifically?" Their answers are almost always that they don't know. A few who think they know list off very common qualities, like that they're nice or have a job, or whatever. It's not that I think … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/07/26 12:27 AM |
| 1 | Many women say that if a woman rejects a man, he should accept it and move on, never trying again.Basketball coaches always tell you to run the offense, pass the ball, pick and roll, get to your spots, and take high percentage shots... But I've seen several NBA players hit fullcourt, one-handed shots on the run! Maybe we should tell all players to just get lucky, instead of teaching them how to play basketball! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/07/26 03:56 PM |
| – | Old people have no understanding of how dating works todayIve never dated someone in their 20s who doesnt regularly date men in their 20s. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/07/26 12:27 AM |
| – | Old people have no understanding of how dating works todayI just turned 40. But I'm in the dating game, a lot more so than most of you. And I date Gen Zers, unlike many of you. If you dont want to hear how, just block me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/26 09:00 PM |
| 1 | If a woman a man is dating or is interested in starts pulling away, his best option is to let go and stop trying.People can pull away at any point in a relationship, be it the first week or the least decade. At any rate, the bar for how much you need to care about someone merely to have a conversation about what's bothering them is very low. I would do as much for an acquaintance. A conversation commits you to nothing further, after all. Besides, as I said, this would be in your self-interest, since it affects your own life. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/26 08:08 PM |
| 0 | If a woman a man is dating or is interested in starts pulling away, his best option is to let go and stop trying.No, but you help people you care about. That's even more true in this case, where doing so is in your own self-interest. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/26 05:50 PM |
| 1 | If a woman a man is dating or is interested in starts pulling away, his best option is to let go and stop trying.Except time and energy If you don't have the time and energy to spare for one conversation with someone you're dating, quit dating. It's kind of a core requirement. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/26 05:16 PM |
| 7 | If below average men were given experience they would even themselves out.I partly agree with you. Experience would help most struggling men. However, the first problem with this scenario is that the "angelic" girl eventually leaves. The trauma of the breakup can (I have seen it many times) leave a man worse than he started. Side note: this is why I see people taking a perverse comfort in black pill ideology. From their perspective, there was nothing they could do. Sure, life is unfair, but that's not their fault or responsibility. It can be much less comforting to fe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/26 04:35 PM |
| 0 | If a woman a man is dating or is interested in starts pulling away, his best option is to let go and stop trying.This is generally a bad idea that won't amount to much How is it a "bad" idea? If it doesn't amount to much, that's actually fine—doing nothing doesn't amount to much either. You've got nothing to lose for even a small chance at gain. I can actually give you a real world example: I was once dating this woman for about 9 months when I started to feel her pull away. Naturally, I asked her about it. She admitted that it had been bothering her that we didn't have sex that often (at the time, about o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/26 04:26 PM |
| 1 | If a woman a man is dating or is interested in starts pulling away, his best option is to let go and stop trying.The first and best thing he should do is ask her about it. No amount of communication will make a woman who has lost interest in you regain it. It can if there's a clear-ish and at least somewhat addressable reason for it. There often is, but people are reluctant to address it openly for many, many reasons. So have the hard conversation. At the very least, you have nothing to lose and might learn something useful you can bring into your next relationship. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/26 04:10 PM |
| – | Men are more ethical, we don't sell our bodiesIt's a much smaller market. If straight men turned to it in large numbers, it would be quickly oversaturated and unprofitable. It's also more highly stigmatized, due to homophobia. I've met a couple of guys who do it, but almost no one knows that about them. They don't put their linktree in their instagram bio, for instance, like many of my female friends over the years have. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/26 03:46 PM |
| – | Men are more ethical, we don't sell our bodiesMen are more ethical, we don't sell our bodies You might have a moral objection to sex work, but morality and ethics are two different things. It is generally considered ethical to do whatever you want with your own body, so long as it does not involve doing something unwanted to those of others or violating any valid, mutual agreements. No matter, what financial difficulty we have, we never climb down from our standards, you wont see much of us doing only fans etc. You would see that, if there … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/26 03:38 PM |
| 0 | CMV: Many of men's dating problems start With treating women as opportunities rather than peopleAI was literally trained to emulate humans who write clearly and professionally. Now such humans get accused of using AI. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/26 02:23 PM |
| 1 | If woman understand there own attraction and stuff, why then people do studies?Well, one unavoidable answer is that scientists have careers to think about. They have to do studies and publish data, even if it only confirms what everyone suspects all along, in order to have a job. Another is the fact that, no matter how obvious an answer is, there will be people who don't believe it and demand proof. But the best answer is that, of course, women aren't a monolith. A well-designed study can better answer questions about how they differ and to what extent than conventional wi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/26 02:12 PM |
| 1 | The reason why a lot of men are struggling is because they do not want to date at their level. Below average men should date below average women. If you want better be better. Why are you asking another person to lower their standards for you, when you wont lower your standards?Women are great at assessing their worth I wouldn't put it that way. I'd say that, compared to boys and men, girls and women are socialized to be highly conscious of their physical beauty. They're generally better at assessing that. However, for the same reason, they're also more prone to being overly-conscious and hyperfixated, which leads to greater distortions in either direction: Consider beautiful women who think they’re plain or ugly, or at least feel pressured to behave as such; less conv… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/26 02:02 PM |
| 1 | Are power imbalances in relationships really that bad?Everybody's an editor... I used the present tense "creates," suggesting necessary certainty. You just misread it and replied "I don't know about that" to a point you actually agree with. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/26 04:47 PM |
| 1 | Are power imbalances in relationships really that bad?I'm just basing this on available studies. If you have data to support your own claim, I'm just as open to it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/26 04:45 PM |
| 1 | Are power imbalances in relationships really that bad?If most men can’t provide it then it’s obvious most women aren’t seeking it No, those are largely independent variables. For another example, 60-80% of women report wanting a man who's at least 6 feet tall. Only 15% of men fit that description. But men who do also receive significantly more female interest, especially on dating apps, a example of an outcome of "seeking" behavior. Of course, if you look at real life, most men in relationships aren't 6ft tall. But the fact that there isn't enough … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/26 04:14 PM |
| 1 | Are power imbalances in relationships really that bad?The question was whether most women seek this out, not whether most men can provide it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/26 03:27 PM |
| 1 | Are power imbalances in relationships really that bad?That's what I said. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/26 03:25 PM |
| 1 | Are power imbalances in relationships really that bad?When women state their ideal man as making twice as much as them, doesn't that indicate a desire for a lifestyle they can't achieve on their own? Doesn't that give their ideal man asymmetrical power over their lifestyle? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/26 03:25 PM |
| 1 | Women being sexually selective with their own partners makes almost no sense.An ex said that she hates giving head, though she has had great experiences and a great deal of fun giving head in the past she wouldn’t for me only vaginal or even anal sex. Her partner after us she had no problem giving head to isn’t that somewhat insulting? The thing is, people change. They don't always change for good, nor in one direction. Throughout our lives we reevaluate things, logically, but especially emotionally. Often, people change the most between significant life events (includin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/26 03:22 PM |
| 1 | Are power imbalances in relationships really that bad?I'm not sure what point you're arguing. I agree with what you've just said. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/26 03:12 PM |
| 0 | Are power imbalances in relationships really that bad?One could argue that it would discourage the older partner from leaving, as they are both fading in conventional attractiveness and running out of time to not end up alone. But you're saying there is no power imbalance in age-gap relationships? Hot take. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/26 03:11 PM |
| 1 | Are power imbalances in relationships really that bad?Money is undoubtedly one of the most direct, predictable proxy for power we have. in fact, if you think of its symbolic function, that's basically what it's for—an objective metric for an individual's ability to get what they want. The only things obviously more direct that come to mind are a direct supervisory relationship ("my boss," which is both a red flag and yet often romanticized) or actual violence. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/26 03:08 PM |
| 0 | Are power imbalances in relationships really that bad?By that definition of the issue, who has the power in a large age-gap relationship: the 45 year-old or the 25 year-old? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/26 02:40 PM |
| 3 | Are power imbalances in relationships really that bad?that would make our entire system - the very concept of money - very creepy Many, many people have come to some version of that conclusion. That doesn't mean that every wealthy person is bad. It means money creates incentives to not be particularly good, as well as systemic factors that tend to make things worse. Incidentally, wealth imbalances in relationships, while not nearly as stigmatized (often, it's highly sought-after) as something like imbalances in age or professional position, do of… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/26 02:39 PM |
| -1 | Are power imbalances in relationships really that bad?The majority of women don’t? Numerous studies, and stats on current relationships, show that women tend to be more interested in men who make significantly more than them. Many state ideal targets at double their income. In the average marriage, a man earns about 30% more, well exceeding the "income gap" of about 20% more. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/26 02:38 PM |
| 2 | Unsuccessful men on the dating regard should just accept it and continue with their livesSo I don't see it as negative if I'm missing something That's sort of the Buddhist ideal: freedom from desire is the only freedom from suffering. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/26 03:03 PM |
| 0 | Unsuccessful men on the dating regard should just accept it and continue with their livesWhat is the only difference, according to many who have described it to me, between a romantic relationship and a friendship? Sex? Kisses? The real difference isn't objective; it's something you feel. More accurately, it's many things you feel, all at once or in sequences. Of course, not everyone experiences feelings the same way, and not everyone suffers to the same extent when they feel things or don't. But none of us can realistically do anything about our own. Feelings are preintellectual--t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/26 02:27 PM |
| – | Men aren't supposed to be seductiveYoung men who are masculine are going to be driven by testosterone which definitely does not produce seduction. That's a weak excuse for not learning the skills to get what they want. I'm thinking back to college, when I was very strongly driven by testosterone-related urges. But where was all that supposedly implaccable influence when I was pouring over books all night in the library? Clearly I, and all the guys around me, had some substantial degree of self-awareness, self-control and forward … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/26 02:19 PM |
| 4 | Question for red pill: what of genuinely sexually submissive men?Kink spaces exist, you know. This thing is something people already practice. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/26 10:58 AM |
| 3 | Male Attraction is Treated as Normal and Women's Attraction is Seen as Shallow or BadMen ARE seen as shallow for it. It's just so common that everyone is used to the idea that men are shallow and lustful in general. That's why the trend for when women get lustful online is that they say "I'm no better than a man." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/26 10:54 AM |
| 2 | Dating would be alot easier for men when they notice who they’re trying to meet and where to find them.You just admitted these women will claim they only want a long-term relationship and then go off to have a hook up. Theyre fickle and they dont say what they really mean for the sake of protecting their own image. The word fickle suggests that they can't stick to a conviction or change their minds without reason. But a "looking for" doesn't have to be a conviction in the first place, just a primary ambition, to still be honest. Knowing what you're looking for is great, but it doesn't mean being … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/07/26 10:05 PM |
| 4 | Dating would be alot easier for men when they notice who they’re trying to meet and where to find them.Statistics have not shown that women are fond of casual sex. In fact, it’s usually disappointing. We're only discussing openness to it, not satisfaction. Going back to what I said about fickle women. This doesn't really have anything to do with being fickle. It's just a question of text-based conversation style. Again, I have noticed no such difference between women on apps, whether they are are looking for short or long-term relationships, though I have found both short and long-term relationsh… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/07/26 09:45 PM |
| 2 | Dating would be alot easier for men when they notice who they’re trying to meet and where to find them.Maybe it’s just America, but most women aren’t interested in short term. As an American, I disagree. My my experience, in real life and on apps, the norm for women these days is to date casually, with an option for long-term if things work out better than expected. So while most aren't exclusively looking for short-term, but most are at least low-key, potentially, open to it. This is visible in numerous statistics, particularly if you can read between the lines rationally. For example, combining… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/07/26 07:58 PM |
| 12 | Handsome and Socially intelligent dude tries for 6 months in dating apps and failing miserably, shows that as a man if you want playtime, you must make dating your everything to get anything in the dating marketI actually did end up watching this whole video. A couple of things stand out. First, his texting is dry, and he doesn't realize it. Moreover, it's dry in the most common guy-on-dating-app way, essentially guaranteeing every woman he tries to "get to know" has already received several identical messages that same day. Not only does he fail to realize this, he actually uses it as an example of how women don't know how to text. Second, there's a point deep in where he muses that he sometimes strug… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/07/26 02:26 PM |
| 2 | Handsome and Socially intelligent dude tries for 6 months in dating apps and failing miserably, shows that as a man if you want playtime, you must make dating your everything to get anything in the dating marketI have a friend who is just like you, can’t get any girls You don't really know me. A one-word characterization of my approach to dating should stand out as obviously not a lot to go on. But ok. I have had dozens of friends and acquaintances like me, who also get dates, hook ups, and girlfriends. You said: You can do your own research and observation irl. But clearly you didn't mean it, if you're just going to invent ways to be dismissive of any observations that don't match your own. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/07/26 02:05 PM |
| 5 | Handsome and Socially intelligent dude tries for 6 months in dating apps and failing miserably, shows that as a man if you want playtime, you must make dating your everything to get anything in the dating marketI do know shit. I just dont agree with this particular shit or fit into your stereotypes. In fact, most of the most prolific bedders of women I've ever known dont either. And I'm not a player, by most definitions, including yours. I dont make this my "sole mission," nor do I really do anything out of strategy, nor do I lie, manipulate or "play" games. My approach to dating lots of women easily is less straightforward, but more organic. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/07/26 12:47 AM |
| 7 | Handsome and Socially intelligent dude tries for 6 months in dating apps and failing miserably, shows that as a man if you want playtime, you must make dating your everything to get anything in the dating marketThis dude literally did everything in his power to get a date and playtime in dating apps and at the end he got 0 playtime and even worse 0 fking dates I use Hinge. I've even used Hinge as a fairly handsome, stylish, black guy in Brooklyn (where he is). Getting dates, at least a few a month, hasn't been hard at all. In fact, I get more first messages from women in East Coast cities than I even have the social bandwidth to reply to. And, unlike this guy, I don't have a modeling portfolio. I reall… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/26 09:52 PM |
| 0 | Women control every grey area in dating and it makes it hard for men not to make them uncomfortable.Dating, to me, rarely feels like pursuit. It's more like two people are clearly feeling each other, catching a vibe, and just trying not to fumble. The whole pursuer-pursued dynamic sounds antiquated and not very fun. like cold approaching, asking for personal information like their social media or phone number, breaking the touch barrier, offering drinks Of those, only cold approaching really offends anyone, and not everyone. Everything else is something you only do when you are like 99% certai… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/26 04:04 PM |
| 3 | Going back to dating after a 10 years relationship helped me realized the reasons for the gender war - dating skills are the opposite of relationship skillsbut would then lose to the guy who doesn't give a flying f by shooting his shots at every walking female I... wouldn't take it so far. Here's what I tell men. Some women hate being approached, some love it, some are somewhere in between, depending on their mood. As a man, you cant predict or control any of that, so you might as well not dwell on it too much. What you can control is how you carry yourself and whether you are genuinely good company. If you're a good hang, the vast majority of wome… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/07/26 06:53 PM |
| 3 | Passport bros is the only real solution for average and below average men. And men and women should agree with itleaving the average man essentially invisible 37% of young men are in a relationship. 70% have sex at least once in a year. The "average" man just needs to chill out a bit and work smarter on developing his style, skills and social life. Being a passport bro isn't for the average man, psychologically or logistically. Even if it would work, women-wise, most men don't have it in them to pack up their lives and and spend a potentially long time overseas. Most don't have the money, or a job that wil… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 10:34 PM |
| 2 | Boys are supposed to BECOME menbattle of Stalingrad You're talking about evolution, so I'm excluding modern warfare as too recent. That's why I keep saying "historical" in italics. was the result of superior strategy? Or was it pure courage? Superior strategy was definitely a big part, notably the their heavy use of snipers, their approach to field training, the use of "rat warfare" to minimize the advantage of German aircraft, and of course the pincer movement of Operation Uranus. But logistics were just as big a factor. Rem… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 09:40 PM |
| 3 | Boys are supposed to BECOME menIt was not dumb obedience. I didn't say it was dumb, just that intelligence wasn't a requirement. If you find yourself in a shield wall against an advancing horde, there's nothing particularly smart you can do about it. The best thing you can do is follow orders, because that's what your commanders' strategy expects. Had lots of other people making sure that their societies flourished. Yes. Both those aren't the warriors, sow hat does that have to do with anything? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 08:18 PM |
| 2 | Boys are supposed to BECOME menIf you think being a tough warrior has notning to do with winning wars Read some history books. Historical wars are won by having the larger army, the better trained army, the better equipped army, the better fed army, and/or the better strategists. Toughness matters a lot in a 1v1 fight; but in a fight between thousands, logistics almost always matters infinitely more. Yes, all of those things require intelligent decisions. But only a very small part of the army is actually empowered to make de… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 08:11 PM |
| -1 | What do you think about the patriarchy theory being used in therapy?One thing you learn in therapy is to own your emotional responses, not blame them on others. But if an individual man feels alienated by his therapist, he should say so, so an adjustment can be made. Not every man is going to have that reaction and those who don't can benefit from this framework. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 07:07 PM |
| 3 | Boys are supposed to BECOME menIntelligence One more point about this. For most of human history, the vast majority of an army had no need, or benefit, of being intelligent. The officers, yes. But officers are only a small fraction of the force. What the vast majority of the army had to be was, above all, obedient. Their chance of winning relies on them doing whatever they're told, even if it seemed suicidal. So, if your theory is correct and we are the descendants of winning armies, then we are literally evolved to be obedie… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 06:28 PM |
| 2 | Boys are supposed to BECOME menIntelligence is 70-90 generic. intelligence wasn't one of the factors I listed. There's no reason to believe the more intelligent army usually won wars. 500 bronze age geniuses typically had no chance against 3000 average joes. The Germanic armies literally had thier wives and children next to them while fighting the Romans to remind them that if they did not fight hard enough thier wives would be raped and their children enslaved. I don't know if this is true. But I do know there's no reason to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 06:07 PM |
| 3 | Women who choose to remain single are viewed as empowered, men are notThat’s true but during the 80s 90s and 00s it wasn’t a big deal for a man to be single and even celebrated Maybe that's true. Maybe it's not. I don't actually know, and I grew up in the 90s. I certainly remember people making this argument at the time, but usually about celebrities or fictional characters. How would you go about proving that it was true for the average man? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 06:01 PM |
| 5 | Boys are supposed to BECOME menThere is no way that you can have a pracrice going back millions of years and not have some adaption. Evolutionarily speaking, there is absolutely a way. The only practice that can have evolutionary consequences is one that either increases or decreases your reproduction. War, in fact, could be argued to have a negative evolutionary effect, since it involves a high risk of death—meaning a shorter sexual career and fewer babies to carry on your "warrior" genes. Moreover, the better the warrior yo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 05:30 PM |
| 5 | Boys are supposed to BECOME menMen are made for war and hunting (if you believe in evolution That's... not how evolution works. The only course evolution gears a species toward is survival and reproduction. It has no concept of war, which is an entirely human invention. It does care if you hunt to survive or gather, farm, etc. We don't have sharp teeth, claws, strength or speed indicative of hunters. We do have endurance, the ability to go longer than most animals without eating or sleeping, opposable thumbs, clever minds and… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 04:28 PM |
| 1 | What do you think about the patriarchy theory being used in therapy?What if up was down? I'd be doing a headstand on the ceiling. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 03:14 PM |
| – | non western women are better than western onesBut in my country I was out yesterday to watch a movie and I tried to check how couples were paired one and most women were with men worse looking than them and with men who were just a few inches taller than them. Um, in my country most women date men who are roughly their own overall caliber. Don't mistake internet stuff for reality in the west. I love my country, Philadelphia. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 02:40 PM |
| – | Society only "appreciates" men if they get married or get some kind of approval from women.A man who does his own thing and doesn't conform isn't really appreciated He is if he's good at doing his own thing. Then he gets called an iconoclast and is revered for his individuality. Obviously society wants most people to conform: that is literally the point of society. It's a one-size-fits-most approach to keeping otherwise average people from ruining things for everyone else. However, if you can prove you actually thrive in non-conformity, there's always a place for you. Marriage, a stab… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 02:33 PM |
| -6 | What do you think about the patriarchy theory being used in therapy?men feel alienated by this sort of lingo/framework being used in personal therapy, and they argued this stuff is ought to be left out from such contexts. I... do not care. I think patriarchy theory, as a specific branch of conflict theory, is of of many non-exclusive, valid lenses through which one can examine society. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 02:09 PM |
| 7 | Women who choose to remain single are viewed as empowered, men are notWhy do you think there is such a divergence in how women who opt out of marriage are seen vs men? Because women are pursued at much higher rates. It's that simple. Women who are single are, rationally and in general, assumed to be so by choice. No man has been good enough. Men who are single are, rationally and in general, assumed to be so by failure. They haven't been good enough. And no, that stereotype isn't fair. But it's not totally unfounded either. Men who opt out of dating due to exhaust… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 01:55 PM |
| 29 | Women who choose to remain single are viewed as empowered, men are notAnd for all of history it’s been eligible bachelor That's actually a modernist invention. For most of history, men who didn't have families were considered sketchy. Even in the peak of bachelorhood (say, 1960s-2000s), normal men faced social and workplace discrimination for remaining single. Men would literally get passed over for promotions because they didn't have "mouths to feed" or "could leave whenever he wanted." It makes us seem untrustworthy, uninvested and unrelatable. But most people d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 01:46 PM |
| – | (Q4M) Do most men feel they have to elevate their sexuality to find a girlfriend?just date multiple women I mean, sure. I literally do. But men so worried about getting one woman probably don't have that option. Even if they might, it's going to be very difficult for them. And it could backfire, since many women will simply be offended and repulsed instead. And, frankly, this method is way less effective for generating attraction in a current partner than being good in bed. I don't mean this as an insult, but you seem to be implying that you haven't tried it. If you haven't,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 01:37 PM |
| 1 | What Aspects of Men's dating life do you have find yourself getting jealous of?Stop using averages to dismiss the issues individual people go through I'm not dismissing individual experiences. I even told the previous commenter "you're not wrong." I'm just also not dismissing averages, because they mean that women are legitimately more concerned about this than men in general. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 01:26 PM |
| – | (Q4M) Do most men feel they have to elevate their sexuality to find a girlfriend?However being good at sex doesn’t attract women in the first place, so most men ain’t gonna learn sex tips to attract women. Yeah, i got your point. But mine was that men ALSO complain that women who "settle" for them eventually won't be as attracted to them. Isn't that an incentive to learn something that will make them enormously more attractive to their future partner? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 01:20 PM |
| 2 | What Aspects of Men's dating life do you have find yourself getting jealous of?has it ever crossed your mind that they're just reporting it less often and also believed less often Most of the stats we have on this are self-reported, so there's no question of them being believed. It's crossed my mind, although there is no way to prove it. In fact, there are many problems with self-reporting this, not the least of which are that it directly affects memory and that it is usually combined with binge drinking, which affects perception and memory. However, one could argue that t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/07/26 07:54 PM |
| 3 | (Q4M) Do most men feel they have to elevate their sexuality to find a girlfriend?I'd say I've done at least as much, if not more, than the average woman. Everything about my presentation, social skill and sexual skills have been intentionally leveled up multiple times over the years. For the last item, OMGYES was the most recent major resource. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/07/26 07:33 PM |
| 2 | (Q4M) Do most men feel they have to elevate their sexuality to find a girlfriend?Men here often complain about not being looked at, lusted over, or treated, like the guys women are really attracted to, even if they "get" one in the first place. Well, being good at sex definitely helps with that. Seriously, surely you've noticed the difference in the way she looks at you the day before versus the day after you've blown her mind? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/07/26 07:08 PM |
| 0 | Men who don’t approach IRL are behaving in the way they’ve been instructedWoman/society are not a unified mind, that is true but intact ethical guidelines have to be one size fits all. "Don't approach" won the argument, so that is the command. Nope. Nothing won. Some women still say don't approach while others say do approach. Some men won't approach anymore while other men never stopped. And men who approach still tend to wind up with more women than men who don't. There's just somewhat more men who don't. That's all this amounts to. Moreover, the trend is primarily … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/07/26 06:05 PM |
| 1 | The idea that most men who struggle in the modern sexual marketplace are socially inept is a blue pill caricatureNot really. There's nothing difficult about describing (in graphic detail) the process of sexual escalation. But that isn't what I was talking about. I was talking about describing things like "charisma." That charisma sometimes leads to a recognizable pattern of sexual escalation is just one of the downstream effects. Moreover, even sexual escalation can be difficult to describe convincingly—many novelists have embarrassed themselves in the attempt. And that's when they have the boundless possi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/07/26 05:39 PM |
| – | Men’s rigid conformity to idealised masculinity is harmful to themselvesIncidentally, a good way to solve this problem would be to do away with homosociality. That is, stop separating boys from girls at an early age and encourage mixed-gender social connections. From my experience, genuinely diverse largely neutralizes the tendency of people to behave very differently depending on who happens to be around. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/07/26 05:21 PM |
| – | Men’s rigid conformity to idealised masculinity is harmful to themselvesYou can't say it's bullying I didn't. In fact, I think it's usually intended to be in good spirits. But one can't always help how every single individual emotionally responds. that's the de facto Honestly, I think this varies more than you or OP have acknowledged. Among my male friends, which comprises many groups in many cities, this is largely a non-factor. Ridiculing, even jokingly, another man's masculinity would be seen as immature and socially undesirable. Granted, one atypical thing my ma… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/07/26 05:10 PM |
| 2 | Men’s rigid conformity to idealised masculinity is harmful to themselvesI totally agree. I would go futher to say that most men don't really even consider alternatives what they think it the one acceptable expression of masculinity—the one they're told appeals to the highest number of women across the entire population. When you ask them to, they simply picture the exact opposite in negative framing ("weak, timid, unsocial, whiny, etc."). That is, they have a hard time imagining masculinity as anything other than a binary. I tried to make a post yesterday about a re… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/07/26 11:55 PM |
| 2 | Men’s rigid conformity to idealised masculinity is harmful to themselvesI do all of those things. I think OP is dead right. And yes, of course some men like it. But others don't and just don't speak up—not feeling comfortable speaking up is itself an obvious consequences of not liking it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/07/26 11:14 PM |
| 2 | Men who don’t approach IRL are behaving in the way they’ve been instructedI answered this question twice—three times, if you count my primary response to OP. Social media, algorithms, conflict bias, and resultant echo chambers. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/07/26 08:53 PM |
| 2 | What Aspects of Men's dating life do you have find yourself getting jealous of?According to CDC data, women are twice as likely to be stalked in their lifetimes. So while you're not wrong, she does still have a point. Similarly, men are roofied, just not nearly as often. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/07/26 08:51 PM |
| – | Which women do men (you) like/love more?Your question is irrational, perhaps because you're flipping cause and effect, or perhaps because you're trying to isolate a single variable that isn't actually isolatable in real life. I don't have like women because I have sex with them; I have sex with them because I like them already. I don't love women because I'm in an LTR with them; I'm in an LTR with them because I love them. And it is meaningless to say I like both equally or one more than the other, because the variable you're isolatin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/07/26 08:30 PM |
| – | Which women do men (you) like/love more?The question I'm referring to is "How often is sex a factor in the non marriage case?" That is a question of frequency. Your answer doesn't address the frequency (the meaning of "how often"). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/07/26 08:18 PM |
| 2 | Men who don’t approach IRL are behaving in the way they’ve been instructedSo you've changed your mind Nothing in my third comment contradicts my second. where you doubted that a person would not have had interactions with both groups of women? I hadn't originally said that I doubted that a person would have had interactions with only one group of women. I said I doubted that was the explanation. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/07/26 08:15 PM |
| 1 | Men who don’t approach IRL are behaving in the way they’ve been instructedSo you doubt that different regions have different demographics? I said nothing of the sort. I said that exposure to the tons of content that pushes the narrative that trends have changed in the last 15 years strikes me as a more probable explanation than actually having lived 15 years only personally encountering one type of woman. The fact that he posted this here, where similar content is regularly posted, supports the probability that he has indeed encountered such content before. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/07/26 07:47 PM |
| – | Which women do men (you) like/love more?As I'm not clear on your premise, I have an alternate answer for the question: This doesn't make any sense. I like individuals, not abstract concepts whittled down to a single isolated variable. That just isn't reflective of reality. Moreover, there is no real distinction between a woman I have sex with and a LTR partner, in this respect. They both start out as just "women I like." They may even be the same person, at different times in our lives. Finally, there is no necessary distinction betwe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/07/26 07:44 PM |
| – | Which women do men (you) like/love more?That's not an answer. The question is about frequency. An FWB you see once a month and an FWB you see twice a week are very different propositions. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/07/26 07:35 PM |
| – | Which women do men (you) like/love more?I am asking about the like/love aspect SOLELY in regards to sex (nothing else). So, are you asking if I would prefer relationship sex once a month or casual sex more frequently? I'd prefer the frequent, casual sex. Additionally, if my options were relationship sex vs. casual sex at the same frequency, I would still choose the casual sex, for the variety. But this is SOLEY with regard to sex. With regard to EVERYTHING, then any woman I'm in an LTR with in the first place is my de facto Favorite P… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/07/26 07:33 PM |
| 1 | Men who don’t approach IRL are behaving in the way they’ve been instructedI somewhat doubt that. This sounds like the sort of post that comes from secondary and tertiary experience: that is, consuming content that regularly states this premise as a fact, including every post like this one. Most people relying on personal interaction don't refer to perceived trends over 15 years, or could have had the bad luck of missing examples to the contrary for quite so long. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/07/26 06:57 PM |
| 7 | Men who don’t approach IRL are behaving in the way they’ve been instructedfor about 15 years young men have grown up being told the opposite On the past 15 years, ive certainly noticed a trend of women telling men to basically never approach. At literally the exact same time, I've noticed a trend of women complaining that men don't approach anymore. Ergo, it has always been obvious to me that women/society is not of one unified mind on the issue. I cant explain why this wasnt obvious to everyone else. have been off-limits for a while now. That includes social spaces l… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/07/26 03:56 PM |
| 4 | Being her best sexually isn't that important and is unrealisticThe service that one receives at a restaurant is part of the whole restaurant eating experience. If you go to the restaurant and the service is great, isnt that all that matters? Do you care if, hypothetically, someone else got even better service at some point? Because I garauntee you the latter is true of every restaurant. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/07/26 01:37 PM |
| – | If You Struggle Online, Nightlife Will NOT Save You (bartender of 3 years)First, caveats: nothing is garaunteed; nightlife and OLD arent mutually exclusive. In reality, your competition in nightlife venues is often greater than on the apps That's hard to qualify. The competition is more direct, but there are fewer competitors. The latter makes a huge difference. OLD competition is so stacked that there's a good chance your carefully crafted opening message isnt even getting read, and that's if she matched with you in the first place. Additionally, while there may be h… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 08:55 PM |
| – | If You Struggle Online, Nightlife Will NOT Save You (bartender of 3 years)It sounds like you just have a very specific idea of what the barfly stereotype constitutes, which may or may not have any resemblance to whatever the other commenter pictured. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 08:36 PM |
| – | Society didn't lie to men about women and dating. Porn did.and how often does the female friend group try hard to sway that one woman's opinion on that man Virtually never. That would be very immature and undesirable in a social group. The only reason I can't categorically say "never" is because some people are immature, especially when they're also literally just young. I can easily imagine having seen something like this is in high school and college, though I don't remember anymore. In fact, one trait of healthy female friend groups (that is, ones wi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 05:43 PM |
| 2 | Would you date someone you met in person who didn’t match with you on a dating app?I legitimately would not care at all. At most, I would find it kind of funny. And I wish I didn't have to answer that question because it turns my further explanation into the point into an unintentional brag: this is really a matter of self-esteem. Many people will think it is a sign of self-esteem to NOT give another chance to someone who rejected you. They find it embarrassing, a reduction of their worth, a source of constant reminder that they once weren't good enough. And, honestly, they've… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 05:37 PM |
| 1 | Why do women keep getting into situationships?To me, the most obvious reason for the rise of situationships is the same as for the rises, over the years, of casual sex casual dating friends with benefits non-monogamy divorce and so on. That is, as society continues to modernize and postmodernize, traditional dating norms are destabilized and people realize that the one-size-fits-all model or romantic and sexual relationships isn't necessarily what they want, at least not exclusively or at every single phase of their lives. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 04:43 PM |
| 3 | If women put more effort into their apps, maybe theyd see more success too.I'm in favor of women putting more effort into dating profiles. But it's unlikely to improve their experience. The issue is that women get so many matches, so much male attention, that even if they attracted a few higher quality men, it would be almost impossible to tell them apart. It's like adding a couple specials to a 10-page menu: most of the signal gets lost in the noise. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 04:23 PM |
| 1 | The idea that most men who struggle in the modern sexual marketplace are socially inept is a blue pill caricaturevague, warm, fuzzy and wholesome language such as "confident", "charismatic", or "funny". There seems to be a kind of allergy towards describing things in any real nitty-gritty physical detail. The simplest explanation here is that it's difficult. Encapsulating a personality takes a lot of craft and most people here aren't writers. There's a snippet of conversation between a creative writing student and his teacher, famed novelist David Foster Wallace, recorded in Although Of Course You End Up B… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 04:16 PM |
| – | Society didn't lie to men about women and dating. Porn did.like I’m sure if I saw Ryan Gosling in person I might be like “wow, ok I get it” An interesting example, as Ryan Gosling got his big break precisely because he was percieved as not THAT good-looking. The director of The Notebook wanted a relatable everyman, not a Hollywood heartthrob. But you’ve never heard female friends or coworkers talking about some guy you know and how hot he is and been like “him? Sometimes. But that doesnt mean the guy was attractive, in a general sense. It just means he … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 02:52 PM |
| – | Society didn't lie to men about women and dating. Porn did.In my case it was Autism, not sure about other men. From what little I understand about it, that seems perfectly valid. And it has been suggested many times by other users that this is, low key, the real story behind subreddits like this. And yet, this isnt an autism subreddit, so it mostly goes unacknowledged. were just more actively social and got girlfriends due to that and being pre-vetted in mixed sex friend groups This is part of it, actually. But there's also feedback loops going on—for i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 02:43 PM |
| – | Society didn't lie to men about women and dating. Porn did.Above all, modern men want a basic understanding of the generalities of female desire. I think that's actually pretty easy to provide. And I think most men gradually get a handle on it. But to get a handle on it generally involves time, experience and subjective reflection, not quick, online study and objective analysis. And obviously reddit is better suited to the latter. To put it another way, you can only teach knowlege, not wisdom. Wisdom often sounds like nonsense when it's heard, and sense… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 02:24 PM |
| – | Society didn't lie to men about women and dating. Porn did.most guys cant tell when another guy is attractive I find this hard to understand. Sexuality aside, aesthetics is a huge part of the standard socialization package. Ive heard many straight guys say they cant tell, but ive also heard many say the opposite. What seperates the ones who can from the ones who cant? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 02:00 PM |
| 1 | "Game" is overrated.I have never in 25 Years off my Life Not a lot of life, my dude. Its also logic, just imagine following scenario. 5'8 Balding dude goes up to a LA Baddie with 15k Followers. Most people dont live in LA or shoot for influencers. Most guys are shooting fir the semi-cutie in their neighborhood. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 01:34 AM |
| – | Men are told to open up more. The only thing they open up about is women not fucking them. And then wonder why it's backfiring 🤦♂️invalidates others experiences "Your experience is valid" and "your experience is predictive of an entire gender" are just two different propositions. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/07/26 04:37 PM |
| 1 | Older men don't understand how undesirable they are to younger womenThe Mets would win the World Series if it wasnt for all the other teams. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/07/26 04:34 PM |
| 1 | Unpopular opinion: I think asking for a live-in relationship before marriage is a red flag—for mewomen often end up taking on more domestic labor in live-in relationships. This alone is a decent reason to live with your partner first. Figure this out as conclusively as possible before the door locks behind you. If we've already dated for 1–2 years, communicated well, met each other's families and friends, and handled conflicts together, The fact is, nothing is as predictive of how well you live with a partner than Living With The Partner. Nothing is even close. It's like... Imagine you're g… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/07/26 04:11 PM |
| 3 | How common is it for women to have higher sex drives than men?"Sex drive" is a nebulous concept to begin with. We usually measure in in terms of desired sexual frequency. This has yielded the result that men average slightly higher than women, but that variance between individuals is so significant and unpredictable that averages dont matter. But that metric is only one part of the equation. What about duration, quality, or even strength of desire—who has the higher sex drive, someone who wants it every day a little or someone who wants it once a week but … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/07/26 02:32 PM |
| 1 | Older men don't understand how undesirable they are to younger womenYou don't get to dictate what the better argument is. Logic dictated it. I just read the lines. By using their specific experience to debunk your generalized point, they are committing an informal fallacy. Anecdotes, at best, only prove what's possible, not what's typical. Your argument, on the other hand, is a formal fallacy. It takes the premise "X is improbable," and reaches the conclusion "therefore X did not happen." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/07/26 12:39 PM |
| 0 | Men are told to open up more. The only thing they open up about is women not fucking them. And then wonder why it's backfiring 🤦♂️On a macro level, like population statistics, systemic factors are predictive of outcomes due to the large of large numbers. But on a micro level, like individual anecdotes, systemic factors arent predictive at all, and for the same reason. Choices and circumstances influenced by choices are much more predictive. For a neutral example, economics predicts that when the price of gas rises, Americans drive less. That ends up being true. But will "John" drive less? That's impossible to guess without… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/07/26 12:18 PM |
| 9 | Older men don't understand how undesirable they are to younger womenI have seen many age-gap couples where it was completely obvious to an external observer that there was zero attraction on the woman's part. Have you somehow not seen this in same-age couples? I'm sure someone in the comments will try to prove me wrong and claim they get hit on by much younger women all the time. The better counterargument to this is that individual experience isnt evidence for a populationwide generalization. Like, I actually am that guy, but dont think that means anything usef… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/07/26 10:53 PM |
| – | As a man who struggled to orgasm with partners, I really think the discourse around orgasm gap is unfair.It''s basically like 'choices' or 'options' if you will--not so much like a 'spectrum' when we colloquially use the word 'degrees'. Not exactly. These are related concepts, but different. For example, if I give you a menu with 100 items, you have a lot of options. If I give you only 1 second to choose between 100 options, you have little agency, despite those options. High agency requires options, knowlege and opportunity. So framed in this sense, is having more choices objectively and necessari… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/07/26 10:26 PM |
| – | Why specifically would you dislike the blackpill going mainstream? It's getting more popular.and it seems to be accepted as the common sense truth nowadays It is not. Get out of your internet bubble. It is becoming popular each passing day Prove it. I want to know what you all think about it. Streamers like clavicular promote lookism and they are increasingly popular. Internet trendiness wouldn't prove the real "popularity" of an ideology. It just means it interests people, positively or negatively. How many n ew viewers does content like this get just because normies want to see a shit… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/07/26 09:31 PM |
| 2 | Men are told to open up more. The only thing they open up about is women not fucking them. And then wonder why it's backfiring 🤦♂️Or you just dont hang out with women who do that.... You sound like everyone other person out there who condemns an entire group over their own bad experiences. Like "all men are abuser" because HER ex boyfriends were abuser. At some point, someone starts questioning the selection process. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/07/26 08:36 PM |
| 3 | Men are told to open up more. The only thing they open up about is women not fucking them. And then wonder why it's backfiring 🤦♂️Bummer. I'm freely open to women I date or am close friends with. Every consider maybe you've just been unlucky, or choose the wrong people? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/07/26 08:33 PM |
| – | You have to be comfortable with the idea of getting cheated on to be in a relationshipMaybe to you, and so maybe in your relationships. Not everyone feels the same way and everyone gets to make their own rules here. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/07/26 08:27 PM |
| – | You have to be comfortable with the idea of getting cheated on to be in a relationshipThe vast majority of women micro cheat. They do things when they’re alone that they wouldn’t do in front of their partner. Micro-cheating is a weird concept. The most important question to ask isnt whether they would do it in front of their partners, it's whether their partner actually expects, or minds, them doing it when away. Cheating, after all, is only violated whatever rules you actually have. The type of man you have to be is either completely emotionally detached, meaning you don’t actua… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/07/26 08:25 PM |
| 0 | Most young women prefer bad boys, but they would almost never admit iteven though he treated her like a princess and brought her flowers every single month. Largely irrelevant. Look, this girl sounds like a piece of work, but ultimately only two people know how she's really treated in ways that matter. Stull like princess treatment and flowers are like a nice dessert: they aren't the meal. The meal is day-to-day, moment-to-moment stuff like whether she feels listened to, validated, empowered, etc. Again, she sounds like a mess. But if she says she's unhappy with t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/07/26 06:25 PM |
| – | As a man who struggled to orgasm with partners, I really think the discourse around orgasm gap is unfair.Lastly, I didn't realize that there's degrees of agency. Then you original comment makes no sense. Agency, if binary, has nothing whatsoever to do with the orgasm gap. The orgasm gap only accounts for consensual sex. Ergo, all the women There has never been a study of how frequently people orgasm during non-consensual sex, and there probably never will be. Does a rock have degrees of agency? The concept of agency only applies to actors, also called "agents"—that is, beings capable of taking volu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/07/26 05:01 PM |
| – | As a man who struggled to orgasm with partners, I really think the discourse around orgasm gap is unfair.But gooners masturbate a lot I dont know what this means. "Gooner" isn't a real category of person, it's just a slang term for someone who masturbates. And what is "a lot"? Porn can cause psychological issues As can potentially anything. it will absolutely harm your mind. People love saying this when they don't have to prove it. Again, potentially anything pleasurable can be overused and abused to ill psychological effects. There's no solid basis for singling out porn, just a bunch of theories. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/07/26 04:48 PM |
| – | As a man who struggled to orgasm with partners, I really think the discourse around orgasm gap is unfair.You mentioning the lack of evidence of masturbation not affecting men. That’s not the issue it’s the porn You have evidence for that? It leads to excessive masturbation Not really. As I've said before, literally anything pleasurable can be overused and abused and have negative consequences. But most people are only moderate users. Porn doesnt make you masturbate, excessively or otherwise. People just seek porn when they want to masturbate already. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/07/26 04:22 PM |
| 1 | As a man who struggled to orgasm with partners, I really think the discourse around orgasm gap is unfair.they all unanimously agreed that you're basically saying exactly that. That women lack agency in their ability or lack thereof to achieve an orgasm. Well, then it's a good thing I cleared that up. is a pretty crucial part of the equation A part, certainly. How big of a part of this particular equations, debatable. I believe I already articulated the reasons why. Otherwise, I believe that's what westerners would call 'rape'. Agency is more complex than rape vs. not-rape. Relatedly, "active partic… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 09:22 PM |
| 1 | As a man who struggled to orgasm with partners, I really think the discourse around orgasm gap is unfair.Porn affects men psychologically. Everything affects everyone psychologically. You might to make more of a point than this. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 08:19 PM |
| 1 | As a man who struggled to orgasm with partners, I really think the discourse around orgasm gap is unfair.That's not at all the point I was debating. The point I was debating is whether "gooning" is a problem. There's no science to back up the claim that masturbation affects orgasm likelihood. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 07:01 PM |
| 1 | As a man who struggled to orgasm with partners, I really think the discourse around orgasm gap is unfair.nobody would give a crap about any of incels grievances not being as prevalent between gay men I might, depending on the specific argument. If straight men had a harder time getting off in bed than gay men, it wouldn't be unreasonable to ask what the difference is. Some of those differences, like psychosocial baggage, are worth exploring. But the first answer that would come to most people's minds, I think, is that women are doing, or not doing, something about it. Incidentally, gay men actually… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 05:49 PM |
| 3 | As a man who struggled to orgasm with partners, I really think the discourse around orgasm gap is unfair.Lesbians don't have size difference Well, their hands and tongues are different sizes.* If men not even thinking about using those, we aren't serious about closing the gap. *This was sort of a joke, but it prompted me to explore the issue further. As far as I can tell, if you ask queer women if finger and tongue size matter, they typically say no. However, that's also true if you ask women about penis size. It is also true that you can find aesthetic references to long fingers and big tongues in… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 04:33 PM |
| 1 | As a man who struggled to orgasm with partners, I really think the discourse around orgasm gap is unfair.Women tend to be more anxious and self-conscious in hetero sex. This is an interesting theory. I don't know if we can prove it. There are reasons to believe it and reasons not to. In the pro column, there's the fact that women are more anxious around men in general. But we don't know if that extends to sex, as it's a very niche social context. In the con column, we can rationally assume a significantly higher percentage of lesbian sex involves at least one relatively inexperienced partner as, st… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 04:19 PM |
| 3 | As a man who struggled to orgasm with partners, I really think the discourse around orgasm gap is unfair.But the above explanation would imply that women lack agency in their ability (or lack thereof) to achieve an orgasm I don't see that this is implied. I think there's a lot of room for nuance in this debate, one of which may be that women would be more likely to achieve orgasm if they assume more agency. However, we also have to take into account common complaints from women about men as lovers for which agency (except perhaps to get up and leave) isn't a clear solution. For example: doesn't tak… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 04:10 PM |
| 2 | As a man who struggled to orgasm with partners, I really think the discourse around orgasm gap is unfair.It also includes the very wrongheaded comparison to lesbian orgasm rates. What makes that comparison wrongheaded? At least technically, there's (almost) nothing a woman can do to a woman that a man can't. That makes the most likely explanation by far that a man either won't or isn't good at it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 03:57 PM |
| 1 | As a man who struggled to orgasm with partners, I really think the discourse around orgasm gap is unfair.Around the pandemic, if I recall. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 03:55 PM |
| 4 | As a man who struggled to orgasm with partners, I really think the discourse around orgasm gap is unfair.It think the gap is mainly biological; women are just harder to please physically than men. That may be, but it wouldn't sufficiently explain the "gap." After all, lesbian women are statistically as likely to orgasm during sex as gay men. So even if women are more difficult, it seems their female partners are still much more capable, on average, than male ones of ensuring they get to the finish line. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 03:35 PM |
| 0 | As a man who struggled to orgasm with partners, I really think the discourse around orgasm gap is unfair.You're making the same inference error as OP: assuming your experience is representative of the norm. As far as I'm aware, there is no scientific support that masturbation decreases sensitivity in anything but the short-term. It's a theory that's never been proven, but has gained a lot of internet popularity. Psychological factors, on the other hand, are widely believed by experts to be one of, if not the, biggest causes of difficulty reaching orgasm in men. It's only competition for the top spo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 03:33 PM |
| -2 | As a man who struggled to orgasm with partners, I really think the discourse around orgasm gap is unfair.Neither of which constitutes proof. Lots of random things correlate without actually being true. I'll just brainstorm one now to illustrate the point: The subject has trouble reaching orgasm during sex. Most sex happens at night. Difficulty orgasming during sex correlates strongly with nighttime. Theory: the subject is lowkey afraid of the dark. EDIT: To clarify my position, you misrepresented the study when you identified masturbation as one of the "causes," since a causal relationship was neve… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 03:20 PM |
| 7 | As a man who struggled to orgasm with partners, I really think the discourse around orgasm gap is unfair.In my experience, I would say that the main difference is that difficulty orgasming in women as a population seems to vary a lot more from partner to partner than what you're describing for yourself. This suggests that male skill with female partners is indeed a big, systemic factor. Further evidence for this is the fact that lesbian women orgasm at a much higher rate than straight women, about as reliably as gay men; while for bisexual women (the vast majority of which end up with men), the rat… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 03:10 PM |
| -1 | As a man who struggled to orgasm with partners, I really think the discourse around orgasm gap is unfair.And there is so much studies /science to back that up. There's actually not. As far as I can tell, there is little research into it altogether, what we have isn't conclusive, and the general consensus seems to be that any of a large number of other factors, especially psychological factors (which OP is admitting to), are more likely. But hey, if you've got studies that prove me wrong, I'd love to learn something new today. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 03:06 PM |
| -1 | As a man who struggled to orgasm with partners, I really think the discourse around orgasm gap is unfair.Some of the causes being I admit I didn't read the whole study. But when searching for this part, I found the language preceding it to be: "For many years, different views have existed regarding the etiology of DE/AE"; and "Many of these etiologic factors are not supported by good evidence-based data". In other words, this appears to be just a list of various theories, not proven causes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 03:00 PM |
| -4 | As a man who struggled to orgasm with partners, I really think the discourse around orgasm gap is unfair.It absolutely can be a problem, depending on your habit. While this is true of basically anything, and especially of anything that gives even a hint of pleasure, there is insufficient evidence to conclude that's OP's problem. It's very, very common that Oh really? Roughly how common, how can you prove that, and how can you prove it has a causal relationship with masturbation? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 02:55 PM |
| – | Having low standards doesn't make you charitable, and it's not correlated with the ability ti love deeplyI believe your imaging a scenario where you meet someone they are otherwise perfect for you, but have a less than ideal financial situation. No, I'm imagining dating: that is meeting, observing, or swiping on individuals who are often summarily dismissed from consideration on the basis of socioeconomic criteria. It's a selection mechanism for romantic/sexual partnership with no romantic or sexual component. I'm not suggesting you shouldn't employ it anyway. Your priorities are perfectly valid, o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/06/26 09:35 PM |
| – | Having low standards doesn't make you charitable, and it's not correlated with the ability ti love deeplyWhether someone is fun to be around or shares your interests aren’t drive by character but they are important That's absolutely driven by character. Sorry, perhaps I should have specific that I was using the term inclusively of all common definitions—thus "moral qualities" and "personality." Virtually no one chooses their partner * for money* but rather exclude potential partners based financially incompatibility Reminds me of an old Kanye song, the point of which was to imply that qualifiers an… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/06/26 05:14 PM |
| – | Having low standards doesn't make you charitable, and it's not correlated with the ability ti love deeplyi have an academic education and have dated lawyers as well as carpenters. came to the conclusion that the degree of my partner is way less important than I thought. Same, and I agree. That's why I added the bit at the end excluding socioeconomic signifiers. Your own, personal taste is not always the best you can get, cause that's not always what you want or need. True again. But I notice this is a conclusion you've come to through diverse experience, which is my point. Most people with low stan… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/06/26 03:39 PM |
| – | Having low standards doesn't make you charitable, and it's not correlated with the ability ti love deeplyWhy do you think socioeconomic status is irrelevant to a good relationship Because it isnt predictive of anything else, character-wise. money is one of the top reasons for divorce Dont you think people choosing partners based on money in the first place probably has something to do with that? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/06/26 03:27 PM |
| – | Why do some men act like simps and white knights?Ive been accused of both. I feel like neither. I just always try to argue in good faith and so often find myself in conflict with certain men whose reason is guided primarily by shame and resentment. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/06/26 03:11 PM |
| – | Having low standards doesn't make you charitable, and it's not correlated with the ability ti love deeplyor you simply and genuinely developed your own, personal standards which happen to be lower than average. While possible, it strikes me as less likely. Low standards correlates to few options and whatever emotional stressors come with that situation. These are obstacles to truly developing your own tastes, a task normally associated with freedom, exploration and diverse experience. Imagine trying to develop a taste for wine when all you have is Franzia and Boone's Farm. especially statements fro… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/06/26 02:24 PM |
| 1 | Men should be glad that they’re less desirable than women.Not where I thought this was going to go. I thought the argument would be that if women desired men as much as men desired women, sexual statistics for women would start to look like those of gay men. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/06/26 10:22 PM |
| 0 | Manosphere supporting Age Gap relationships to a fault is strange.happens far more often than not. This sounds like an exaggeration. But if not, how would we even go about knowing this for a fact? I found it strange that manosphere would go to bat to justify a 45 year old man dating an 18 year old woman. Why is that strange? Even by saying that age gap relationships up the risk for abuse and manipulation, you're admitting that it's a situation that gives men more power. That's the whole point of the manosphere, in a nutshell. Of course they're on board with th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/06/26 08:38 PM |
| – | it is acceptible for women to dress in revealing outfits only because of male-dominated psyopswhy is that? don't we have gender equality? It's just not a direct comparison. On the one hand, we've had over a century now of women aggressively challenging and redefining traditional notions of femininity, resulting in an unprecedentedly broad and varied range of aesthetic expression. On the other, men have largely resisted having a similar process of our own: the closest we came was embracing long hair in the 60s and the niche-acceptance of androgyny driven by pop stars in the 70s and 80s, e… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/06/26 05:02 PM |
| – | Wives who don’t have regular sex with their husbands should never have married himFirst, I can't agree with this premise for several reasons. The most obvious of which is that libido isn't a static value. That is, it isn't fixed at the moment you start dating, or get married, to remain constant throughout your entire life. Libido is variable and dynamic. As such, it can be very difficult and unreliable to even forecast one's own ability to meet a partner's needs for a lifetime—that is unless, of course, they are committed to having sex whether they want to or not. I don't kno… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/06/26 03:57 PM |
| – | Wives who don’t have regular sex with their husbands should never have married himthere are some men who can live that life What do you mean by "that life"? I'm just describing breaking up and finding a new relationship. Most men and women go through this process many times. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/06/26 01:42 PM |
| – | Wives who don’t have regular sex with their husbands should never have married himEven fucking twice or once a month may be more than he would pull otherwise. True. But let's not forget that This Specific Relationship is not the only alternative to The Streets. Even if his sexual activity dips while being single, the odds are slightly in favor of him finding a new relationship, situationship, or something, within a year. The odds go up if he can wait a while longer. So he may end up averaging more lifetime sex by dumping his current partner as soon as possible. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/06/26 02:28 AM |
| 15 | Why do women treat their male friends so differently?None of my female friends have ever made me feel this way. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/26 09:50 PM |
| 4 | The sexual revolution and casual sex brought about delusional standards - even for women who are not promiscuous.New York, Miami, LA, SF? Pretty much anywhere where rich people live that happens to be on a sailable body of water. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/26 08:14 PM |
| 5 | The sexual revolution and casual sex brought about delusional standards - even for women who are not promiscuous.By self comparison alone, even the women who are not promiscuous started to believe they had access to these upper echelon men There is some merit to this. As human beings, we will, to vary extents, adjust our expectations and standards in proportion to the expectations and standards of of the culture to which we're exposed. However, there are also countervailing psychological forces at work, like the possibility that "Brenda" will see herself as comparing unfavorably to "Stacy." I've actually s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/26 07:27 PM |
| 2 | The idea that men shouldn’t approach women is dying out in the mainstreamMaybe. The thing is, it was never the case that women, collectively, said "stop approaching us!" If it seemed that way, it's because that narrative dominated social media discourse for a while. But trends in discourse are not reflective of reality, but distorted by numerous biases, not the least of which is that unhappy people post more. Then, of course, it was further exaggerated by the media, which has it's own biases, especially in favor of change and conflict. If we grant that this actually … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/26 04:49 PM |
| 5 | Most women have someone.women thinking roughly 5% of men are cute. Where does this stat come from? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/26 03:27 PM |
| 1 | If you could be born as a woman instead, would you?You can still pregnant on birth control. Can, yes. Most don't. you will most likely have already been sexually assaulted in some capacity - by a larger and stronger individual, Been there. all women men lust after the most (models, celebrities, cam girls, influencers) all have 90% of the same characteristics. Same girl with like, different hair colours This represents the apex of the beauty standard, what society and the average man idealizes most. But to imply, as society often does, that you n… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/26 02:30 PM |
| 2 | Most men here don't just have dating problem, they're severely under-socialized in general.I used to live in a midwestern state until 2009 and i saw the same thing there. In a a major city? was referring to people who are high school or college age like maybe 16-25 I dont talk about high schoolers at all, and rarely college kids. i do see older couples in public a lot but they're all relationships where the guy is playing a beta provider / husband type role, not a boyfriend. How would you know that just by seeing them?? you're telling me that if i go to a dance bar in a midwest or nor… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/26 01:32 AM |
| 2 | Most men here don't just have dating problem, they're severely under-socialized in general.malls, movie theaters, the airport, strip malls. i have never been to a dance bar. None of these are places where adult couples tend to just hang out. i live in the SF bay area I've never been to the area, but somehow everything I hear about the culture there sounds soul-sucking. Try the midwest or northeast. The dating scene may be a lot easier. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/26 12:32 AM |
| 1 | If you could be born as a woman instead, would you?Maybe! Honestly, I don't feel very strongly about being one sex or the other. There's upsides to each. Plus, I could primarily date women. reproductive burden I don't want kids anyway. Birth control would be annoying, but most young women manage well enough. it'd be rude of me to say I shouldn't have to. orgasm gap First, this applies only to large populations. On an individual level, women vary greatly in how easily they achieve orgasm. Also on an individual level, men (and women, happy Pride!)… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/26 12:22 AM |
| 1 | Most men here don't just have dating problem, they're severely under-socialized in general.whenever i go out i literally don't see any unattractive young males socializing or hanging out with their girlfriend. Ok, but I do. Where do you go out? I'm guessing it's not to lively bars in a major metropolis? I am 5'8 and less than 1% of young non-hispanic men i see with a girlfriend are under 5'10. Weird. I'm 5'9.5" and have two girlfriends. Literally every man I know (IRL) shorter than me either has, or has had since I've known them, a girlfriend. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/26 12:00 AM |
| 2 | If you're a regular, average guy, you don't need to relate on dating appsMany women worldwide are opting out of dating But most aren't. So how is anything "over"? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 11:50 PM |
| 3 | If you're a regular, average guy, you don't need to relate on dating appsUnless you are a top-tier guy who hit the genetic lottery, makes great money, and has his entire life perfectly sorted out... it's just not going to happen. You shouldn't be on there Big exaggeration. You just need to be decent-looking and seem cool. But man, have you ever swiped as a woman-seeking-men? Most guys fail that basic requirement. your absolute best bet is to close the screen and meet women in real life. That's where you get a real chance to let your humor and personality do the heavy… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 11:28 PM |
| 3 | Most men here don't just have dating problem, they're severely under-socialized in general.but percentages can be misleading. Sure, but so can "read the the news, watch tv or anything." any economist would tell you that 10% is a huge problem. I acknowledged that already when I said "That may constitute a crisis, depending on how you look at it." But the claim we were debating was only "there's so many guys your age (maybe not on this board) who socialize just fine." Well, there are. As for young kids i think you are still being a little willfully ignorant. I've literally only spoken t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 09:48 PM |
| 8 | Most men here don't just have dating problem, they're severely under-socialized in general."False dichotomy" means the dichotomy doesn't actually exist. There exists a middle ground between those two extremes. You're told this, you're told that, and eventually you figure out your own path. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 08:44 PM |
| 1 | Most men here don't just have dating problem, they're severely under-socialized in general.do you not read the news or watch tv or anything. I do. But I also go outside and see people everywhere hanging out with their friends and lovers. Of course, I live in a big, but relatively inexpensive, city, so we benefit from population density and an abundance of places to go and things to do. So there's definitely a sampling bias on my part. That said, there's also biases in media: "things are mostly fine" doesn't sell papers, or even qualify as news. So let's look at the numbers instead. Ac… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 08:42 PM |
| 0 | Most men here don't just have dating problem, they're severely under-socialized in general.Men who read the room stay single. Men who ignore women trying to police their behavior are the ones who get dates False dichotomy. You could indeed respectfully assert yourself. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 07:16 PM |
| -1 | Most men here don't just have dating problem, they're severely under-socialized in general.in an era The problem with this analysis is that there's so many guys your age (maybe not on this board) who socialize just fine. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 07:15 PM |
| 3 | I think that women highly value confidence and this puts men at a significant dating disadvantage.Women aren't mind readers: they don't actually know if you're confidence. They can only see if you carry yourself with confidence. Fortunately, it's often easier to change behavior than to change your mind. And that behavior really comes down more to poise-under-pressure and competence. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 09:36 PM |
| 2 | I always assumed most people on dating apps don’t want commitment due to COL, not being “trash”most people on dating apps don’t want commitment due to COL Modern, committed relationships are often actually cheaper for men than conventional dating, especially once you move in together. Imagine having to "take someone out" every time you wanted to see them, versus an ongoing arrangement where you basically just "hang out" all the time by default and your partner actually has a long-term interest in your financial stability. kids Kids are a wholly different topic than commitment. I live in a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 08:43 PM |
| 1 | What are red flags in men that women commonly miss?Most of your list describes only compatibility issues with your own sociopolitical opinion. Only #3 actually signals a more general problem. I'll add: Too generous: "Money is power." Buying a meal or drinks is one thing. But when a guy is buying you expensive gifts, offering to pay your bills, or talking about taking you on a trip within just a few dates, he's trying to get you addicted, dependent and indebted. Even guys with good intentions usually know better that to actually act on it until t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 08:03 PM |
| 1 | Most 'Nice' guys aren't nice at all. They just lack standards, boundaries and integrity while making it as niceness.Yes, this is the basic, and I thought already accepted, definition of a "nice guy." This is what the "nice guy" trope means, and has nothing to do with "guys that are nice." I feel this analysis is missing a category of "guy." You know, one who takes rejection well, legitimately isn't that affected, might actually make friends with her anyway and just dates someone else, instead of asking for anything in return for any cool experiences he and his friends share. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 05:19 PM |
| 1 | "Covenant Men" idea to solve the dating crisis... not that people would sign on, but it would workIt's not known if that relationship between promiscuity and pair-bonding is causal, let alone in which direction. That is there are three reasonable possibilities: Promiscuity causes lower pair-bonding, like many here assume for no reason. Low pair-bonded causes promiscuity, which makes just as much, if not more, sense. Promiscuity and pair-bonding are caused by some third thing unidentified by extant research methods. None of these possibilities can be rationally eliminated. As for the dopamine… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 03:26 PM |
| 1 | Desperation isn’t that bad.Desperation is unappealing for several reasons. One is that is evinces a lack of confidence and self-reliance. That may seem abstract, until you actually date the person and find their behavior insecure and clingy. Another is that it feels depersonalized. A desperate person wants a relationship. A chill person wants an individual. Most people want to be wanted for who they are, not what role they can fill. Lastly, desperation can create undue pressure. I see this a lot: guys get a chance and the… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/06/26 06:34 PM |
| 2 | Is inexperience really that unappealing in men?Unless the guy has zero social awareness I highly doubt he doesn’t understand how to be good company in the context of a relationship. Relationships can be very complex and difficult. You have to deal with a lot of emotional entanglement and intensity, compared to every other type of social interaction. There's a reason there are so many books, articles, therapists, podcasts, subreddits, etc. about exactly this. And there are reasons young relationships are notorious for being melodramatic disas… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/06/26 05:28 PM |
| 1 | "Covenant Men" idea to solve the dating crisis... not that people would sign on, but it would workThat was the point of my OP. I'm just saying you overshot it. Men do need to be less thirsty, but there's not need to give up casual sex altogether. It can still happen, as long as it's not aggressively pursued. it could result in being introduced to more women. The latter just seems less likely than ever before. I actually think this is one of the few things that haven't changed in the modern era. Women you're friends with still have and make their own female friends that could be brought into … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/06/26 02:52 PM |
| 12 | What red flags in women do men commonly miss?My favorite red flag in women is if, when telling a story about interpersonal conflict, she never seems to think she did anything wrong. Like, either she is just incredibly unlucky or is completely ignorant of her own role in why she constantly has beef with friends, relatives and coworkers. Either way, I don't want that energy brought into my life. A related red flag is when all her stories are ultimately about her being right, justified, or superior to someone else. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/26 11:53 PM |
| 1 | "Covenant Men" idea to solve the dating crisis... not that people would sign on, but it would workBut it hurts them worse than it helps. It causes the "dick is cheap" mentality with women and a ton of heartbreak for men. The payoff is rare and fleeting, the damage is huge and long-lasting for the entire gender. Casual sex doesn't make dick cheap. The thirsty pursuit of it does. Guys going up to dozens of women at clubs or saying gross things on social media makes dick cheap. If men cut out that sort of behavior, they could still enjoy casual sex, but demand for it would be significantly more… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/26 11:44 PM |
| 2 | Who cares about men being expected to pay on dates? Why care?That makes no sense. So because dating is expensive, that'd rather be at 0% than be upfront and only be at 40%? Some men can't afford to date. The more expensive dating becomes, the more men will fall into that category. Others will be able to afford to date, but will chose to pursue dating less frequently, because that's what happens when consumer goods and services become more expensive. Alternatives to traditional dating will also increase, because people will still desire the outcome while a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/26 11:36 PM |
| 2 | Being overzealous is bad.you don't think cheating is toxic? I already articulated the reasons to leave cheating out of this conversation. None of them were "I don't think cheating is toxic." You think women can detect if a man vents on Reddit No. but I think a person can detect subtle patterns in another person's speech and behavior. If a guy regularly "vents" on Reddit, that's obviously reflective of the way they think and see the world. Other things about this person is also reflective of how they think and see the wo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/26 11:23 PM |
| 2 | Being overzealous is bad.Making a public list of men they intuit as abusive. That wouldn't be safe. It wouldn't be safe for women because they'd be angering potentially abusive men. It wouldn't be safe for men because there would obviously be tons of false accusations. It might not even be safe for whoever is hosting the public list because men might sue. There is no such list because there's a fuckton of false positives The false positive rate is logically unknowable. So too is the rate of true positives, since, in eit… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/26 10:10 PM |
| 1 | Who cares about men being expected to pay on dates? Why care?You're putting too many faith into it if you're acknowledging men will still waste their money for nothing over NOT wasting their money for nothing. I'm not sure what you're saying. But in general, the more expensive dating is, the fewer men will date. I think we're already seeing signs of this in the past 10 years, with the rise of non-date dates, like "Netflix and chill" and the backlash from women against men who ask them to go to the park or only get coffee. EDIT: Even I have times where I s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/26 09:46 PM |
| 1 | Who cares about men being expected to pay on dates? Why care?So you contradicted yourself. I was just humoring you, since you chose that wording. Additionally, "incentive" is both an economic term and a general one. I was using it in the general sense, on this particular occasion. On a large enough scale, people usually respond predictably to financial, objective, incentives. That's what makes Economics work as a discipline. The outcomes of non-financial incentives, especially subjective ones, are much less predictable and have nothing to do with Econ. An… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/26 09:31 PM |
| 3 | Being overzealous is bad.Wow, why aren't women with the ability to sense toxic men publicly advertising which men are and are not abusive? Advertising how? To some extent, they already do. If a woman they're talking to mentions meeting a man they've met before, and if that man seemed sketchy, they'll volunteer that information. But most don't go around telling everyone—when some do, men are justifiably angered, since it's not like there's any proof they've done anything wrong yet. The mechanism is largely unconscious th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/26 09:11 PM |
| 1 | Who cares about men being expected to pay on dates? Why care?The reason why I don’t believe that for this sub is because they will look at a guy ruining his chances and think that what he did was perfectly fine. You missed the part where I said, "the fact that it constitutes a financial decision at all means economic principles apply". Ergo, I am not applying the principle to all male behavior, only to consumer spending. Then how is that not more of an incentive to just not pay on date? It is. But it's potentially outweighed by the incentive to not immedi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/26 08:40 PM |
| 3 | Being overzealous is bad.You don't get to say that Sure I do. For one thing, im not personally responsible for anything anyone else has told you. Second, my own take on thr matter is that women can sense your toxicity. Men can too. But it's just a basic social skill and tends to be better developed in women. The catch is that, like all social skills, it isnt perfect. Individual talents for it will vary. Serial abusers often target women they determine, though social skills of their own, are more likely to fall for their… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/26 08:15 PM |
| – | Do men get crushes on older women?Yes. But obviously not all men do. It's just an individual thing. Even men who routinely date younger women may get crushes on older women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/26 07:41 PM |
| 3 | "Covenant Men" idea to solve the dating crisis... not that people would sign on, but it would workJust ditch casual sex at scale, starting with the men who have the hardest time getting it. Right away, it's clear why you don't expect men to sign on. Also, it sounds from your reasoning that attractive men don't actually need to give up casual sex at all, not even in solidarity or whatever. After all, hot guys aren't perceived as cheap and, contrary to what some believe, the average woman has no chance with them. As such, they can't really help or hurt the cause here. Anyway, I don't think men… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/26 06:56 PM |
| 4 | Who cares about men being expected to pay on dates? Why care?It is still at least a medium-sized deal in America. It means that for men, dating is a luxury one may or may not be able to afford. Even if we can afford it, the fact that it constitutes a financial decision at all means economic principles apply: incentives and disincentives predictably influence consumer behavior. $10 a month isn't a lot of money, but if Netflix raises its cost by $10, people go berserk. The irony of men complaining about it is that if men didn't pay, the same would apply to … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/26 06:36 PM |
| 2 | Men not wanting to pay for the date indicates lack of interest and low aggreeablenessNo. If anything, it just indicates low traditionalism. I don't pay for dates. But I'm certainly highly interested in the people I date. I score high on "agreeableness," but low on "traditionalism." A man who is willing to pay for the woman is less selfish and more self-sacrificing and cares more about her feelings Not to overgeneralize, but I disagree. Men pay for dates for several reasons. The first, and most obvious is that they don't think they can get a date without it. The second is that th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/26 06:09 PM |
| 2 | People are too in love with social media validation to give it up for a partner who doesn’t beat that attentionI think a lot of people become addicted to it without realizing it. Yes, social media is highly addictive by design and potentially harmful. he problem is that eventually you’re supposed to trade all of that for one person. Who says you're supposed to? Most people don't give up social media when they form relationships. Or they have to perfectly fit the image you’ve curated for yourself. I agree that social media is making this worse, but it's not exactly new. People always had images to curate … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/26 06:00 PM |
| – | Gender relationship are harmed by blank slatismI reckon Based on absolutely nothing, you may of course reckon whatever you wish. If true though, it really only suggests that comparing libidos is pointless to begin with. If one value is static and the other is variable, it makes no sense to simply call one "higher." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/26 05:46 PM |
| – | Gender relationship are harmed by blank slatismOne example is that females and males on average have different libidoes. It shouldn't be controversial to say this yet it somehow is. There is a lot of science that shows that , on average, men have a higher libido than women. I'm actually highly skeptical of this claim for three reasons. The first is that libido isn't "real," it's just a term we've come up with for an intersecting suite of feelings. Conceptually, this can be quite useful. But it also means that we have to trust people, with ve… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/26 05:31 PM |
| 6 | Being overzealous is bad.I’ve seen women stay with emotionally abusive partners, This comes up a lot here. The thing people need to remember is that starting a relationship and staying in a relationship are totally different things. What is it about a man being very eager for love or companionship that can come across as unattractive, First, some women would absolutely love it. For those who dont, there are several things going on. It can seem desperate, for example. But I think the real issue is that it violates a subt… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/26 04:28 PM |
| 1 | Gen Z men should avoid "quick and easy" and impersonal methods for finding themselves a relationshipYeah. I actually dated the same woman's other best friend a year later. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/26 03:59 AM |
| 1 | Can platonic feeling between two individuals go so far that it jumps into sexual just due to closeness ?I mean, yes, these things would happen often. A lot of people experiment with their sexuality anyway, so much so that many theorists now believe that sexuality is highly fluid and that it's mostly internalized social pressure and preconceptions that keep us rigidly defeined. And there are real-world analogues to what people with incompatible sexualities will get up to in the face of extreme isolation. Prison is an example for some. But, whether you know it or not, a lot of straight guys got up t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/26 07:52 PM |
| 2 | Gen Z men should avoid "quick and easy" and impersonal methods for finding themselves a relationshipTrying and failing to find relationships in your social circle poisons that circle to you. This is a risk, not a destiny. If your social circle is even fairly mature and you handle yourself well throughout the process, it can actually just be fine. My closest platonic friend right now is a woman I crashed and burned with a few years ago. We stayed friends in the same circle, and became better friends and even moved to a new city together as roommates. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/26 07:29 PM |
| 1 | Gen Z men should avoid "quick and easy" and impersonal methods for finding themselves a relationshipImo you should attempt to date only a woman whom with you already feel an emotional connection to, and who genuinely understands you on a personal and intellectual level. That is ideal, but it's not often realistic. Most men legitimately don't have such a woman in their lives. Now, on a longer timeline, they might be able to redevelop their social lives such that it makes such encounters more likely. But if they're not dating in the meantime, they're missing out on experience. That's a big risk:… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/26 07:24 PM |
| 8 | "Personality" and "social skills" are just attempts to moralizing dating and make lonely men feel badIt's not moralizing, just a skill issue. There are legitimately terrible people who, nonetheless, are highly capable of performing social charisma. However broad a definition of "good personality" you use, I would hope that it excludes "abusing women." There's a lot to unpack here. The first and most obvious thing is that "good personality" simply does not mean "good person." It CAN include that, in addition to many other variables, depending on the particular individuals involved. But it isn't … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/26 07:19 PM |
| 1 | Women naturally tends to make things harder for men, while men naturally tends to make things easier for womenIf you as a man adopts all the ways women currently makes things harder for men, then the women you want will find that attractive. I don't really know what you're talking about. But I think that whether attractive behaviors are harder or easier for you, it says more about your individual personality than gender dynamics. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/26 06:56 PM |
| 3 | We shouldn't incentive young heterosexuals to have relationships, maybe the oppositeWe shouldn't incentive young heterosexuals to have relationships You don't need a relationship to make babies. If we stopped coupling up, we'd just have more single parents. I do think society to chill out on encouraging romantic relationships in general. There's too much social pressure on it, and I think we're already slowly learning that the "one size fits all" approach to lifestyles and relationship structures isn't actually all that sound. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/26 06:48 PM |
| 5 | Alot of women want to control men and their sex life and it can be proven by a simple hypotheticalWe already do versions of this for work, right. And it leads, unsurprisingly, to situations where immigrants are forced to endure exploitative and abusive conditions just to avoid deportation. Now imagine how much worse that would be if, instead of licensed employers, we sticking them in locked bedrooms with the lights off. So no, I don't think opposing the biggest human rights violation in modern American history is a women thing at all, let alone motivated by whatever you're guessing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/26 06:44 PM |
| – | How to get comfortable with the fact that women prefer bad boys?How to get comfortable with the fact that women prefer bad boys? First, and most obviously, realize that women aren't a monolith. Plenty of non bad-boys are doing quite well dating women. The reason is that while population-wide statistics can point out trends in entire populations, none of us actually date populations. We date individuals. Population stats aren't predictive of individual behavior: their accuracy is dependent on their sample size. my mom finds Tom Hardy and the characters he pla… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/26 06:29 PM |
| 3 | Blue pill ideology give terrible advice for menWhat are you talking about? As a species, our biology and psychology is wired for social connection. Pretty much everything in society is a reflection of this, including society itself. In public almost nobody talks to strangers. And there are numerous reasons for this. But to simplify, realize we're talking about a social norm. It is socially normal for most strangers to ignore most other strangers in most public situations. And, if you think about it, you realize that many social norms exist s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/26 01:37 AM |
| 0 | Effort Asymmetry. The Courtship System Women Perpetuate. Double standard in Being Transactional in a Transactional Amoral Market.I suspect these men arent dating much at all. They're mostly getting their impression of what dating is like from their own social media algorithms. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/26 12:41 AM |
| 3 | Effort Asymmetry. The Courtship System Women Perpetuate. Double standard in Being Transactional in a Transactional Amoral Market.A sample of 552 heterosexual college students Everything else aside, let's stop using college students as a proxy for adults in general. College is not the real world and the people there are closer to teenagers in maturity and social culture than to the majority of the dating population. Now, to your main point, I do think that men paying for dates is archaic. But that's just culture-lag. It's a vestige of a previous system that is so attached to symbolic meaning that it has evolved more slowly… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/26 12:18 AM |
| 1 | Blue pill ideology give terrible advice for menBlue pill ideology give terrible advice. Most common "Just Be Yourself", "Blue pill" doesnt give this advice. Ordinary people who dont know or care about pills and dont spend tons of time talking a out dating strategy on the internet sometimes give this advice. Someone who actually puts thought into will at least amend this advice. This is the problem with using "blue pill" as an umbrella term for all normie advice you happen not to like. Most people like to take low risk, do the usaull, not tal… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/26 12:06 AM |
| 7 | Fear of automatic cheating or getting an STD aren't the biggest reasons why women won't date bi men. Their reasoning is mostly due to their idea of masculinity.I feel like bi men are actually more into men than women and have more in common with men. This isnt a thing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/26 07:13 PM |
| 16 | Men don't understand what women want because women have been sending mixed signals, not because men have poor understanding.I would like to think I'm fairly smart Maybe you are, in certain ways. But what if I told you there are guys dumber than you who, nevertheless, understand this stuff very intuitively? I'm doing good in school. I work a lot when I'm not in school I mean I feel detached from most humans Attraction, dating and romantic commitments are all part of the larger ecosystem of social relationships. You sound like you're largely neglecting that ecosystem. Most people's ceiling for comprehension is going to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/06/26 02:17 PM |
| 3 | why cant you lust after average men?Because most women aren't that sexually desperate. Most people want to fixate on some innate, biological difference in sexual interest between the sexes. I don't really buy it. I think it's more about neuroplasticity, the way our brains and nervous systems adapt to the stimuli he face throughout life. Women, from a very early age, learn that sexual interest from men is abundant and potentially dangerous. As their brains interpret this as unappealing, they develop a defensive disinterest as well … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/06/26 06:09 PM |
| 1 | Most people in the dating world are just acting.I wouldn't say so. But I think I have a pretty good sensor for authenticity, so I just don't even consider dating people who seem like they're acting. I would say that, in the early stages, everyone is performing a bit. We're pretending to be the best accessible version of themselves. That isn't wholly fake: it's a reflection of who we are and what we value in ourselves. It's who we think we could be tomorrow. And sometimes doing so even helps us actually become that self. Of all the people I've… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/06/26 05:54 PM |
| 7 | Most people need to experience casual sex, especially men.Statistically, most men have had casual sex at least once, at least according to any available data. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/26 07:54 PM |
| 2 | Women suck at simpingwomen don't know what to do when a man is actually attractive. when men are doing the bird dance of attraction By the time he put the work in to get the woman to like him, his energy is running down I don't think you know what dating can be like for attractive men. I know this may not be recieved well, but I havent put in work to get a particular woman's attraction since 2022. I actually kind of miss it. And isnt the logic here usually that women bend over backwards and break their own rules for… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/06/26 10:15 PM |
| – | They Know What to Say and Who to Say it To. It Depends on Where You Are on Their Value Hierarchy. Selective Preaching, Pandering and None at all.and definitely not lecture this man. obvuously because women will not risk their potential with a tall attractive man A key thing you might be missing, and the reason why many attractive men do indeed get lectured, is this: once a woman has decided he needs a lecture, he is automatically less attractive. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/06/26 09:49 PM |
| 4 | It's always considered men responsibility to make women feel safe around them.If your default vibe is creepy, not being creepy is indeed a skill. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/26 09:36 PM |
| 5 | Women have little intent.the belief that you can “vibe” everything out. That's mostly my approach as well. if she really had strong intent not to do that she wouldn’t have fallen in love Intention is rational. Feelings are irrational. If men had more options, you'd see that men aren't any better at sticking with intents. women tend to believe that’s all they’re out there to do and end up cheating because the vibes were just right. Women don't tend to cheat when they go out with their friends. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/26 08:22 PM |
| 3 | Women’s Selectivity Is a Major Cause of the Orgasm Gap in Casual Sexdon’t, helpfulness is not really what I’m shooting for when countering OP’s argument. I don’t get this take because why even talk about anything then? What we're currently discussing is whether "most reasonable men" is a "not true Scotsman" fallacy. We're doing this because, if you can dismiss any man who doesn't meet your behavioral expectation as "unreasonable," then your logic is circular and the claim unfalsifiable. The way to avoid that fallacy is to define "reasonable" in an objective way,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/26 07:31 PM |
| 6 | Question for lesbian and bi women: Why do women seem to have stricter standards for men than for women?But when you look at lesbian couples The problem here is incomparable samples. You're looking at stereotypical standards for straight couples and actual couples for queer women. If you look at actual straight couples, you'll find boyfriends who aren't all of the things you listed. Statistically, most normal men get occasional dates, sex partners and relationships. We don't have to be supermen. By far the most important qualities a person needs to date women are that you're attractive and fun to … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/26 07:17 PM |
| 3 | Women’s Selectivity Is a Major Cause of the Orgasm Gap in Casual SexReasonableness is simply a standard defined by what an ordinary and prudent person You're just describing a subjective term, "reasonable," with other subjective terms, "ordinary" and "prudent." You seem how that's not really helpful? You an I likely evaluate prudence somewhat differently. And we have no idea what's ordinary because we don't know have evidence for how most men think and behave. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/26 07:00 PM |
| 5 | Women’s Selectivity Is a Major Cause of the Orgasm Gap in Casual SexThat’s what I mean by “most reasonable men” though. I hear ya. That would be my personal assessment as well. however, it strikes me as a meaningless qualifier, at best, because we have no way of guessing what proportion of men are "reasonable." At worst, it's just a "no true scotsman" fallacy, since you seem to be defining "reasonable" in only the way that supports your argument. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/26 06:17 PM |
| 4 | Women’s Selectivity Is a Major Cause of the Orgasm Gap in Casual SexIt also takes to get to know a woman’s body I assume the missing word is "time"? Eh, it does and doesn't. It depends. However, it is also true that some men are just generally much better. In fact, I'd wager the prolific men are better on average as new partners, as their breadth of experience makes them more adaptable to different tastes. Sexually prolific men are prone to ghost This is a stereotype. I doubt there's currently any way to prove or disprove it. and not be persistent enough in a fw… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/26 05:50 PM |
| 42 | What’s the most controversial negative opinion you have about your own gender?Men are alarmingly unskilled socially. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/26 05:28 PM |
| 6 | Women’s Selectivity Is a Major Cause of the Orgasm Gap in Casual Sexmost reasonable men want to leave a good impression that way. I agree with the rest of your point. But to this one, a lot of men really don't care. They view her pleasure as her responsibility and say "I got mine." Many others do indeed care, but are so unconfident in their own ability that they concede in advance and don't risk trying. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/26 05:12 PM |
| 3 | Women’s Selectivity Is a Major Cause of the Orgasm Gap in Casual Sex. A minority of men know how to provide a good sexual experience but have less incentive to prioritize any individual partner. Maybe. But in my experience, it's just not true. For better or worse, sexually prolific men still bring their egos into every sexual encounter. That is, those of us who care about being "good" in the first place never stop caring. It's a deeply ingrained part of how we see ourselves and want to be seen. Granted, not everyone cares in the first place. But caring (values i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/26 05:06 PM |
| 1 | Men dating younger women may be the only option left.I'm not sure different colleges is a good analogy for this. It's more like throwing a high school graduate into a Civil Engineer's role then expecting them to perform adequately. Now that I understand your point better, I agree. Formative experience is directly related to our ability to function as adults Related, yes, but not necessarily deterministic. and btw you'll be labelled a creep here for that And if anyone wants to do that, I'll respond with my usual patience and good faith. But it woul… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/26 04:22 PM |
| 2 | A date asks "what woman do you admire"I think calling trying to ger casual sex dating is a stretch. I wasn't talking about trying to get casual sex. I was talking about "having fun and heightened feelings with an intriguing addition to my life right now." If you do that well, it often ends in sex (depending, of course, on everyone's personal values). Whether or not you'd even call that sex "casual" depends on your definition—sex on the first date does not, at any rate, preclude eventually forming a partnership. I had my first "first… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/26 03:42 PM |
| 1 | Men dating younger women may be the only option left.Experience is part of who we are. It directly impacts our personalities, worldview, values, everything. True, but it's ultimately your personality now that matters, not how you got there. It's like how where you went to college matters a lot at the beginning of your career; in most cases, it doesn't matter at all 10 years later. By that point, all anyone cares about is how you perform today. Different people of different backgrounds often wind up at the same level of your industry, though some h… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/26 03:31 PM |
| 1 | Hypergamy is serious topic that woke and bluepilled people uncomfortable and they are unwilling to take seriously, analyze, and discuss the issue.There's some ambiguity about what hypergamy is or isn't. Taking the simplest definition, wanting someone "better" than yourself in some way, I don't really disagree. Everyone, men and women, want to end up with someone who makes their lives better. We don't want dating to be lateral or regressive. That's natural and not actually a problem. However, I think in practice this whole things ends up being so complicated by nuance and individual variance that the concept isn't really worth talking abou… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/26 03:09 PM |
| 0 | A date asks "what woman do you admire"It doesn't end up like that on great dates. It ends up with the two of you exchanging Margaret Thatcher quotes and bonding over that if that ends up being a thing. Great first dates end 12 hours later with morning sex and coffee. 36 hours later, if it's the weekend. First dates are 100% two people interviewing each other for the position of partner. If that's how you view it. I view it as having fun and heightened feelings with an intriguing addition to my life right now. I don't believe in "dat… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/26 02:30 PM |
| 1 | Men dating younger women may be the only option left.Younger is generally more attractive. Every bit of data points to men being most attracted to twenty-somethings regardless of their own ages You didn't say "attractive," you said "better." Maturity is knowing the difference. Moreover, "attractive" doesnt just mean "physically beautiful." On another note, there are limitations to available attraction studies, mainly that they bare decontextualized. If you do an experiment where you show a group of men images of various women and have them rated, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/26 01:50 PM |
| 8 | A date asks "what woman do you admire"Its not static if you ask back Taking turns asking is still static, at least compared to conversations I actually enjoy. Daring is about getting to know if this person is a potential partner. People compare first dates to job interviews for a reason, and it's not flattering. But it doesn't have to be that way. You can, in fact, learn a lot about a person without directly asking them much of anything. First dates should be 90% vibes. You can talk about anything, as long as you're talking with eac… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/26 10:32 PM |
| 2 | Q4women if your long time bf/husbands sexual orientation slightly changed after years together would you break up?Lots of men get disgusted at the idea that his woman even wants to be gang banged Ok. And if those men were in this subthread, I'd be asking them why. It’s not a logical thought process It doesn't have to be logical. It does, however, have to come from somewhere. And it isn't simply universal. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/26 10:05 PM |
| 1 | What has your actual lived experience/ challenges with dating been like?Sorry, I didn't fully answer your question. I struggled in high school and early college. I didn't really know why. I briefly dabbled into pickup-artist stuff and what, in hindsight, is very manosphere-adjacent overanalysis. But that didn't get me anywhere. But one thing I was pretty good at was making girls/women close friends. So I leaned into that. For the rest of my adulthood, the majority of my closest friends were women—and there would be a lot of them. This was not a strategy, just a norm… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/26 10:02 PM |
| 1 | Q4women if your long time bf/husbands sexual orientation slightly changed after years together would you break up?I was honest with you. I don’t know what to tell you. I know. It's okay. Why do men feel a visceral disgust knowing a woman he’s dating got gangbanged? Why do they feel a disgust if her n-count is like 50? I don't feel anything about those details. But for those who do, we can at least admit that a gangbang is a real thing that happened. In this scenario, you partner's sexuality exists entirely in his mind. He isn't making a choice to act on anything. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/26 09:41 PM |
| 11 | A date asks "what woman do you admire"Would the question be offputting to you Mildly, but I'll humor it. would you be able to answer it? I could rattle off names until she seems satisfied. It isn't a difficult question: women are half the population. Same deal if she asks about men. The problem with the question is that it's static. She asks, I answer, like a job interview. What questions do you ask dates to get to know each other? I try not to ask many questions. I try to have fun. Once you get people having fun, they usually tell … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/26 09:37 PM |
| – | Resentment in the marketfeeling resentful stems from a lack of empathy Yes, but also trauma. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/26 09:30 PM |
| 1 | Q4women if your long time bf/husbands sexual orientation slightly changed after years together would you break up?it causes Do you see how that's not actually an answer, so much as a rewording? Because, here's the thing you probably already know: this information doesn't actually cause anything. If it did, every woman in that position would have the same reaction. You have your specific reaction because something inside of you is causing it. But whatever: it doesn't seem like you know what that is, so I'll stop asking. That dominance level is necessary Okay, and what does sexuality have to do with dominance… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/26 09:26 PM |
| 1 | What has your actual lived experience/ challenges with dating been like?The average age of adults in the US is 47. To put this another way, "dating as a 20 something" starts out with the fact that the average adult is actually twice your age. In college you walk into a cafeteria and everyone is 18-25. Go out to eat for lunch after graduation, and you see middle aged and elderly people everywhere. How is this relevant? You aren't being matched with candidates randomly from an index of the entire country. Overcoming the "average age" issue is as simple as going where … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/26 09:17 PM |
| 1 | What has your actual lived experience/ challenges with dating been like?I’ve generally had a pretty healthy and positive dating experience overall, and pretty much all the men I know in real life don’t really express strong negativity towards women or dating in general. They might talk about normal challenges, but nothing extreme. Same. There's a lot of selection bias, of course. For one thing, we generally gravitate toward people like ourselves, or spaces where such people are found. That's one good(?) thing about Reddit: if I passed most of these guys on the stree… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/26 08:47 PM |
| 2 | Q4women if your long time bf/husbands sexual orientation slightly changed after years together would you break up?I get that. I'm asking why. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/26 08:41 PM |
| 4 | Do young women have their sexual partners vetted by family members in 2026?The culture was completely different The thing about sex is, because it's private, the influence of culture on actual behavior is somewhat weaker than you might expect. It really doesn't matter how much society says "wait until marriage," as horny, hormonal, young people are going to do what they're going to do. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/26 08:38 PM |
| 2 | Q4women if your long time bf/husbands sexual orientation slightly changed after years together would you break up?I am only attracted to masculine straight males What does it mean to be attracted to a sexuality? In this scenario, you're ostensibly already attracted to him and in a long-term relationship. So what actually changes for you? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/26 08:33 PM |
| 2 | Discernment needs to be reworked.The way most women call these out seems to allow for the most efficient predatory men to simply hide their flaws and that will give them an easy in to your life. Yes. But then, it's always going to be easy for duplicitous men with a talent for hiding their flaws. Like... isn't that obvious? That's the whole point of being duplicitous: to trick people into giving you what you want. Equally if a man has obvious red flags does that mean there’s no good to be found Most red flags are just signifiers… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/26 08:28 PM |
| 0 | How many of you are actively dating? Why or why not?Yep. I mostly love dating. It's so fascinating! I'm currently in one LTR (4 years) and one early-stage (3ish weeks). I'm technically open to dating more, but I'm not actively looking because I'm not sure I have time. Are you on dating apps? Yes, but I barely use them. I just moved to a new city. I planned to hit the apps hard when I got here. But instead I ended up meeting people easily in person, so now I hardly check them and never message first. And if you are, why are you still here? Well, l… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/26 08:04 PM |
| 1 | How many of you are actively dating? Why or why not?because women don’t reflect the same way of thinking Women often lose physical attraction to their partners over time. Check out any relationship subreddit. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/26 07:51 PM |
| 0 | Men dating younger women may be the only option left.The thing is, lots of young women are legitimately attracted to older men. Not most. But some minority percentage—that's just their thing. And the issue with being an older man is that most women your age, statistically, are in fact married with children. So even a minority of younger women can ends up being a larger available population. This is especially true if you're into a more "party" lifestyle: where the population skews younger already. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/26 07:29 PM |
| 2 | Men dating younger women may be the only option left.The skillset needed to effectively date and be desirable as a partner is not taught to young men But some men learn it. From whom? Why can't others replicate that? Masculine meen used to be celebrated, young men had rocky, or james bond as an ideal You realize we've had 20 years of multi-billion dollar superhero franchises, right? We even still had James Bond and Creed. but it's better than alternative You can, in fact, be all of those things without embracing the toxicity. Additionally, there i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/26 07:24 PM |
| 1 | Reddit lacks nuance when it comes to casual sexWell sometimes an FWB relationship sounds a lot like a bad momogamous relationship haha. Most bad relationships sound the same. At the core, we all want things like respect, communication, affection, security, etc. These expectations can take different forms and extents, depending on our relationships. But usually, when something is wrong, it's wrong in one of those basic ways. Like to me getting to travel the world with someone, grow old with someone, raise kids with them, kissing, holding hand… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/26 09:03 PM |
| 1 | It's totally ok to be superficial and selfish in datingYou can like whoever you want. Who's going to stop you? But I strongly recommend dating people you like, regardless of how they stack up on paper in the few categories you seem to think are relevant. and it should be clear that the one with the upper hand leads the relationship, as he is superior to the other partner. Nope. Just like people should date the partners they like, they also have to choose the relationships they like. If they don't like to be lead by someone "superior" (again, accordi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/26 08:32 PM |
| 1 | Reddit lacks nuance when it comes to casual sexon Reddit people say sex basically is just an activity like tennis or something That's a perfectly valid perspective, if that matches their emotional experience. My own is more moderate. I like casual sex, but still find it to be a more pointed emotional experience than most activities and am therefore picky about who I have it with, and under what conditions. but those who are in monogamous relationships that /last/ seem far more happy and fulfilled to me than people who are telling me how they… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/26 08:09 PM |
| 1 | Reddit lacks nuance when it comes to casual sexAre you counting this as being in or outside a relationship Outside of a committed, romantic relationship. no existing relationship A lot in these studies depends on how you word the question and what the respondent thinks the wording implies. For example, my friend just had sex with a guy on a first date, though she isn't interested in a relationship with him. I have no idea if he is interested in a relationship with her. If they end up having a relationship, neither will likely consider this s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/26 06:59 PM |
| -2 | Most Lesbian or Bisexual women do NOT have more game than straight men. It is simply easier as a girl to date.I disagree, with caveats. First, you're right that women are more receptive to interest from other women, making the game significantly easier. And I have to mention that "babies"—newly out or exploring lesbians and bisexuals—have no game whatsoever, and are often quite comically anxious or incompetent until they get some more experience. But I also think women tend to be better than men once they're experienced. Not because they're good, but because men are so unbelievably bad. The simplest exp… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/26 06:05 PM |
| 1 | So what is the true?Most women claim that they experience sexual attraction only after they have established an emotional connection with a guy I don't think most women say this. I think it's a narrative strongly encouraged by lingering traditional values and undermined by more modern discourse. A more modern argument, for example, is that women are often as capable of spontaneous desire as men, but have more reasons to suppress it, including social pressure and various risk factors. Even if you don't by that it's … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/26 02:58 PM |
| 2 | Reddit lacks nuance when it comes to casual sexThis is true, prior to gaining actual experience. But most people have casual sex at least once in their lives. Once really isn't enough experience to make a strong conclusion. But it's something. If you'd taken down an active shooter before, you'd have justifiably more confidence in your prediction for next time, even though all situations are a little different. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/26 02:54 PM |
| 2 | Reddit lacks nuance when it comes to casual sexsaying it is wonderful for mental health and there are zero consequences. As a big fan of casual sex, no one says that. But I’ve seen a large amount of female friends, coworkers, even classmates from back in community college break down into tears or have a mental health crisis after falling in love with someone they hooked up with. I imagine you've also seen people in tears over monogamous relationships, friendships, familial relationships, work relationships, etc. This is a risk we accept abou… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/26 02:44 PM |
| 1 | You only smash cuz she pre-approved you.⁸I dont think this is a hot take. It sounds suspiciously like "women only sleep with guys they like," which is room temperature, blue pill material. But if you're talking about instant preselection based on looks, I would counter with what stendahl says, beauty is only the promise of happiness. You still have to fulfill that promise, which is where rizz/vibs/charisma/etc come in. And ill add that while initial impressions are hard to overturn, they're not impossible. Attractions and feelings are… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/26 01:45 PM |
| – | If guys are so into transactional relationships, they’d be better off going to professionals.As you've pointed out, it's a very old solution. Ergo, men are already aware of it and must find something about it lacking. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/26 08:33 PM |
| – | If guys are so into transactional relationships, they’d be better off going to professionals.You cannot love someone you have sex with. Counterpoint: I already do. What's your reasoning? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/26 08:32 PM |
| – | If guys are so into transactional relationships, they’d be better off going to professionals.If that was all it was, you wouldn't have to try to convince men to rely on prostitutes. The reason you do is because there are certain things added to, and certain things missing from, from that experience that alter its desirability. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/26 07:57 PM |
| – | If guys are so into transactional relationships, they’d be better off going to professionals.Nope. Love and sex are different things, but not necessarily in conflict. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/26 07:55 PM |
| – | If guys are so into transactional relationships, they’d be better off going to professionals.Don't be sorry. That's the hottest take I've heard all day. I'm grateful for the entertainment. Though, I also didn't say anything about love, so I'm not sure why you replied this to me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/26 07:51 PM |
| – | If guys are so into transactional relationships, they’d be better off going to professionals.It is. Arguably, all desire is desire for an emotional experience. It's pretty obvious when you consider that 100% of our lives are experienced in the same organ that produces emotions to begin with. The only reason I even said "arguably" is because I dont know how may or may not pertain to psychopaths. There are other ways to have emotional experiences. Not this one. You kinda proved yourself wrong by even making this post. You're right: sex is sex and transaction is transaction. That means the… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/26 07:29 PM |
| – | If guys are so into transactional relationships, they’d be better off going to professionals.So I don’t understand why guys complain that they have to bend over backwards for a date and get no pussy when there’s plenty of women out there who don’t require those dates! I'm pretty sure you understand that a desire of sex isn't just desire for the physical act. It's desire for the act and the corresponded emotional experience. What one expects from that emotional experience varies between individuals, but there's always something. Changing the context of the act changes the emotional exper… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/26 06:51 PM |
| 2 | Women find good men sexually appealingMoral character has nothing to do with sexual attraction, good or bad. I think that's untrue, at least as a generalization. It varies a lot from person to person. For example people emotional reaction to moral transgression is "disgust," which can quickly kill any sexual desire. Some others instead experience "thrill," which can dramatically boost desire. The degree to which we each, individually, feel these things is what determines how great of an influence morality will have on our attraction… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/26 05:58 PM |
| 1 | Women find good men sexually appealingI'm having a hard time deciphering your point. Is it that some men perceived as "bad," are actually not so bad when you consider their other qualities? Either way, it is easier to say that attraction is formed from many known and unknown variables, which in turn vary from person to person anyway. The dichotomy of "good and bad" isn't usually very relevant or helpful when considering the complexity of human social dynamics. Because the standard for being bad as a man is the “bad boy” or “asshole”… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/26 05:51 PM |
| 4 | Freedom in relationshipsI see a lot of people argue that a big downside of romantic relationships are the restriction of free time. I both get this and don't. The thing is, "free" time can be valuable, especially if you have solitary hobbies. You get a relationship and it's a net good, certainly, but then you're in year in and realizing you don't paint anymore, or whatever. Sure, you are technically free to make time for it, but if that means less time for your partner it could make you unhappy in a way that making tim… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/26 03:16 PM |
| 4 | Cold Approaching, myths and experiencesYou won't be labeled a creep or rejected harshly by girls for approaching them There is a lot that goes into this. First off, some women like being approached, some hate it with a burning passion. Second, the social acceptability of making an approach is highly context dependent—there's a big difference between trying it at a bar and trying it at the DMV. Third, it is almost certainly true that your attractiveness level influences how likely you are to receive a positive or negative reaction. It… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/26 10:08 PM |
| 0 | Work on yourself is useless adviceGo to the gym, read literary fiction, and seek close female friendships. It works. You don't need a systematic breakdown of how it works to get the benefit. And even if it doesn't work and you never get a girlfriend, you will probably wake up one day and realize your life is at least better than before. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/26 07:23 PM |
| 1 | Work on yourself is useless adviceThey want men to get good at everything, fit, social, be good at flirting Well, yes. The benefits of that are self-evident. while not trying to intentionally get good at these things. No, that's not how anything in life works. I think the issue is not IF you try, but HOW you try. Blue pillers (such as we are) usually criticize the specific ideologies, methods or even goals. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/26 07:22 PM |
| 2 | If you remove or Ignore the "mens fault" and "woman are beutiful" whats left?Why is dating suddenly so hard for (some) men? It's always been hard for some men. But to the extent that it has gotten provably worse in recent years, I attribute several key factors. One is obviously social media and online dating, which has changed the landscape and the some of the rules of the game in ways not everyone is fit to adapt to, as well as created endless echo chambers for terrible ideas. Another is COVID, I think. I'm too old to personally understand it—my personal experience of C… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/26 06:53 PM |
| 3 | Relationships are downplayed too oftenSeriously everyone In my corner tells me they aren’t special and are more harmful than good I think this says more about your particular corner. If anything, relationships might be a little overrated. We're practically raised from birth to believe that finding the right relationship is one of the top 3 most important things in life and that not doing it makes you a failure and weirdo. Im in year 4 of my current relationship, BTW, so this is coming from a fan. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/26 06:43 PM |
| 3 | Putting in less effort in attracting women actually works.Putting in less effort in attracting women actually works. Less than what? Generally speaking, there is an ideal amount of effort relative to reward, and it will vary between individuals and dynamics between individuals. Some people should be doing more to get what they want. Others should be doing less. Some are just nailing it. It may sound counter-intuitive, but if you have confidence and are happy within yourself without needing approval from anyone, the less effort you put into attracting w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/06/26 05:32 PM |
| – | There are no bad actors in dating.say you’re not the type of person who will ghost, but by virtue of your having ghosted in the past you are, in fact, they kind of person. That's not actually true. By virtue of having done it, you were the type of person who would do it. We have no information as to whether you are still that type of person. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/06/26 05:28 PM |
| 1 | Is an average woman dating an average man considered "settling?"Probably should be a question for red pill, not men. Because what im going to say is: 1) Everyone settles to some extent, and that's fine, normal, human. It is even beautiful, that we can love and desire each other despite our flaws. Even the hottest guys getting the hottest girls and thinking they both hit the jackpot soon come face to face with the reality that no one is perfect, that there are things they need to work on and things they need to work with. 2) Everyone wants the best, on paper … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/06/26 01:05 PM |
| 1 | I find women from other countries respect men more than in USA?Ever consider that other countries have their own propaganda that causes this? Ask yourself, are the other countries you're thinking of more patriarchal or more strongly influenced by "traditional" institutions | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/26 11:12 PM |
| 2 | If women say they want emotional honesty and vulnerability in men, why do so many still lose attraction the moment a man actually stops pretending to be emotionally invincible ?I think there's a couple good reasons for this: If a man has been pretending to be emotionally invincible, he has been lying to her. She doesn't actually KNOW the real him. There is thus no guarantee that she will even LIKE the real him. There is obviously a big difference between "I want an emotionally honest and vulnerable man" and "I want this emotionally honest and available man in particular." If a man is accustomed to pretending to be emotionally vulnerable, he isn't very experienced at be… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/26 10:02 PM |
| 1 | Cheating is almost inevitable in human relationships.People in relationships generally don't genuinely love each other. There's no legitimate reason to form that conclusion. Their love is almost always dependent on something like resources, sex and so on. I think your problem is that you're viewing "love" as a static and discreet quality. That's how we usually talk about it, both as a matter of convenience and as a classical understanding. But it's not actually true. A more accurate way of talking about love is as the putative experience of the in… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/26 09:10 PM |
| 3 | The difficulty gap between attractive and unattractive women is not large enough to justify lowering your standards as a man. It is for a womanI've noticed with me and other men, attention and dating success is very binary. You either get it or you don't. As someone who started off struggling and gradually got better and better throughout my 20s, then got elite around 30, I totally disagree. There's levels to this. Even now, just looking around at men in my sphere, there is obviously a big and diverse middle ground between "basically zero options" and "playing the game on easy mode," where most men actually live. In nightlife, for exam… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/26 07:36 PM |
| 1 | Men and women do not live the same lifeWell, actually the percentage is far lower than that, since most people don't have babies every year. The US fertility rate is only like 1.2%. There's gotta be a better way to word your point. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/26 07:02 PM |
| 16 | Men and women do not live the same lifeThe average man earns, lives on his own, travels, will rarely have any chance at a relationship (LTR or NSA), and will rarely get asked out on parties, events or social spaces. He will spend his whole life being single, ignored and on a dry spell for most of his life. This is not average. Pill spaces disproportionately attract struggling men. Due to this selection bias, men inside get the impression that their struggles are more typical than what the outside world reflects. Or, to put it another… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/26 06:25 PM |
| 1 | Dating offline is honestly worse than online dating for most Gen Z men who want to date Gen Z womenNightlife or through previous friends. Which brings us back to the root of my original comment, you'll notice. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/26 06:00 PM |
| 1 | Dating offline is honestly worse than online dating for most Gen Z men who want to date Gen Z womenHaving friends or not comes down to luck and life situation to a ridicoulus degree No, it's really only to the same degree as everything else. Like, luck and life situation plays just as big a role in dating. It wouldn't matter if you're hot and could bang 90% of women in the world if you live in a small town, work too much, and only happen to meet the other 10%. The only difference is that people tend to be very intentional in pursuit of dating partners and very unintentional about developing o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/26 05:51 PM |
| 13 | Why is women's popular music so much more sexual than mens?You specified "men," not "straight." You also singled out Chappelle Roan, who is a lesbian. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/26 05:23 PM |
| 8 | Why is women's popular music so much more sexual than mens?There is tons of open sexuality in male popular music today. Lil Nas X, Troye Sivan, Drake, Bad Bunny, The Weeknd, Sombr, Sam Smith, etc. Even J. Cole self-awarely interrupted his social-conciousness flows this year to remind you, "My tongue can set fire to some/inspire the young/or put a hickey on the titty of the prettiest bitch." Male pop artists, specifically, face an industry pressure, though: their core fans are young women. Young women are less likely to want to hear male sexuality—they'r… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/26 05:03 PM |
| 1 | Dating offline is honestly worse than online dating for most Gen Z men who want to date Gen Z womenI dont see that as a problem or a luxury. It's just another skill-issue thing to develop. It has a lower barrier to entry than dating and, once achieved, lowers the barrier to dating itself. It's one of the fundamentals of a social life. If you never develop the fundamentals, how do you expect to handle the more advanced maneuvers? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/26 03:05 PM |
| 2 | Women who call themselves "baddie" are just as cringe, if not more cringe, than men who call themselves "alpha"."Bad." It was a slang adjective applied to attractive women in the 80s. Michael Jackson named an album and its lead single after it. More recently, it was revived as "bad bitch," mainly by rappers and LGBT folks, gradually transforming into "baddie," perhaps because it's less caustic. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/26 08:17 PM |
| 1 | Women who call themselves "baddie" are just as cringe, if not more cringe, than men who call themselves "alpha".It's becoming increasingly popular on social media right now for women to refer to themselves as baddies. It's not even just influencers that do this - even regular women do this when captioning their stories or posts. Yes, it is currently normal slang and largely harmless. As a guy, hearing any girl refer to herself as a "baddie" is an immediate turnof As I guy, I simply do not mind. Women who say they're baddies are usually No, it's too widespread for generalizations. No naturally beautiful, f… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/26 08:12 PM |
| – | Redpill "tactics" are idiotic and have the opposite of the intended affect.Except I can't think of any example of a basketball player scoring points or winning games by doing that That's why I included a more reasonable example:: just jack up a ton of deep threes. People have won games that way, and a lot of young ballers try to emulate it. It has become probably the single biggest headache among youth coaches. Ignoring a girl resulting in her infatuation building Outside of fiction, I have never seen this "work." There are two points I want to make to clarify this. Wh… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/26 07:20 PM |
| – | Redpill "tactics" are idiotic and have the opposite of the intended affect.I agree "it shouldn't" I'm honestly inclined to say it flat-out isn't. Why can't you teach people sound, responsible dating habits? I think most of the problem with it is that your advice would be competing with extremism in the marketplace of ideas. And extreme ideas, no matter how terrible, have the benefit of being flashy, making big promises, and making people feel like they're doing something. I'd guess you never float a balance on your credit card. Neither do I. Seems common sense right? L… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/26 06:25 PM |
| – | Redpill "tactics" are idiotic and have the opposite of the intended affect.d caring about women less makes rejection less scary, and not being afraid of rejection makes you more confident, and being confident is attractive. Sure, but the same mechanism also makes you more likely to be obnoxious, which can offset confidence by a mile. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/26 06:02 PM |
| – | Redpill "tactics" are idiotic and have the opposite of the intended affect.and there is DAMN good reason behind all of them That's kind of irrelevant, isn't it. We're not evaluating the reasons, only the tactics. Big problems don't justify or improve bad solutions. Instantly responding to her with long paragraphs complimenting her, blindly supporting her, and dropping whatever you're doing so you can attend to her emotions at any given moment is a WORSE strategy. Right. So don't do that either. It shouldn't be hard to imagine a pretty wide middle ground between two ext… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/26 05:53 PM |
| – | Redpill "tactics" are idiotic and have the opposite of the intended affect.You have used negative terminology to describe neutral behaviors No, OP was referring to the negative extremes of behaviors which, if not overdone, could be neutral. For example, playful teasing is usually good. Heavy handed insults to pressure behavior is bad. Part of social awareness is knowing the difference. The "tactic," however, is to intentionally exceed social norms to distinguish yourself from other, weaker men. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/26 05:33 PM |
| – | Redpill "tactics" are idiotic and have the opposite of the intended affect.but this hypothesis of good women that are fair, nice and never try to test boundaries, take advantage of you "This hypothesis" that OP never once mentioned? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/26 05:21 PM |
| – | Redpill "tactics" are idiotic and have the opposite of the intended affect.If all all and every "tactics" were useless then redpill would not exist Not necessarily. Large populations and ideological bias combine to perpetuate lots of absolute junk. Just look at all of the wacky martial arts styles out there that, by no mere coincidence, no professional fighter ever uses. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/26 05:20 PM |
| – | Redpill "tactics" are idiotic and have the opposite of the intended affect.This idea that acting flakey will make her value you more is false and she will just lose interest due to thinking you have lost interest in her. True. Having lots of close, female friends, I actually see this play out from the woman's side constantly. It never "works." The most likely outcome, by far, is that she gets offended or just apathetic. However, it is probably difficult for the men to learn that lesson because... it's 2026 and most people are plenty flakey anyway. Moreover, most people… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/26 05:14 PM |
| – | Having female friends is absolutely a positive in datingAnd it must be a lot easier to be optimistic I never said anything about optimism. Im just talking odds. Seriously, you didnt address my point/question. Assuming you're going to flirt with a woman at some point anyway, wouldn't you rather a warm approach than a cold one? I think practically every man, regardless of looks, knows which is better. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 09:15 PM |
| – | Having female friends is absolutely a positive in datingYes, that's absolutely the point. Nope. Let's assume I already had a good chance of attracting that woman. However, to do so normally, I would have to approach her and her whole group, come up with something to say, and pass however many test they use to fend off thirsty guys at bars, if they perceived themselves as in the mood to meet any man at all. Instead I did nothing but what I was doing anyway and was welcomed before saying a word. I'm willing to bet there are a lot of average guys out th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 08:39 PM |
| – | Having female friends is absolutely a positive in datingBe honest - are you a short, stubby, not good-looking guy or are you pretty good-looking, in at-least good shape, and have found women to be attracted to you before? I'm reasonably hot, since you asked me to be honest. But that isn't the point here. The point is that female friends increase any man's odds. If my odds were already good, the girls make them better. If my odds were terrible, the girls make them better. If your odds are 1% and they jump to 5%, you might not personally perceive the d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 07:55 PM |
| – | Having female friends is absolutely a positive in datingIf an ugly, lame and boring man magically, hypothetically, gained a bunch of female friends, their chances wouldn't improve. If a hot, fun and exciting man magically, hypothetically, lost all their female frirends, their chances wouldn't improve. Incidentally, I've seen both of these scenarios play out at least once just in the last year. The latter case is an especially good example. This guy (late 20s, 6ft, handsome, charismatic, clever, fun) had a big friend group consisting mainly of attract… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 07:47 PM |
| – | Having female friends is absolutely a positive in datingI hear what you're saying. But I completely disagree. Having (legitimate, fairly close) female friends improve your odds in at least three ways: It improves your social skills with women, via immersion, insight and practice. It gives you warm access to more women, via their social networks. It provides social proof, making other women less wary of you. Now, the usual caveat applies: none of this is guaranteed. All of it, however, is more likely, when compared to having no friends or only male fr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 07:35 PM |
| – | Having female friends is absolutely a positive in datingHelpful women are a positive. I'd argue that they don't have to actively help at all to be a positive. I, for instance, almost never ask my female friends for advice or to set me up. The benefit I get from them is just from having them in my life: learning how to talk to women, hearing the things they reveal about their dating lives, having women to accompany me when I go out ("social proof"), having women whose friends I'll meet eventually even if I don't make a point of asking, etc. I just sta… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 06:12 PM |
| – | Having female friends is absolutely a positive in datingThere are incels with money. There are incels with height. There are even incels with good looks. Nothing guarantees you anything. Everything raises or lowers your odds. Female friends is an odds-raiser. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 06:03 PM |
| – | Having female friends is absolutely a positive in datingBut being friends generally has a much lower barrier to entry. In this way, it's sort of like playing pickup games before trying out for the school team. Yes, they require the same skills—but it's a lot easier to get into the former to develop those skills more for the latter. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 06:02 PM |
| – | Having female friends is absolutely a positive in datingA few reasons working together. Having female friends is mainstream (blue pill) advice, and thus runs afoul of manospherian dogma, which treats women as highly alien figures with broken values. Having female friends means you're around women who, presumably, won't sleep with you. This hurts many male egos, especially if they are struggling with dating already. Having female friends raises the likelihood of developing feelings which, to many struggling men, feels like acute suffering. The mechani… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 05:52 PM |
| 2 | Dating offline is honestly worse than online dating for most Gen Z men who want to date Gen Z womenGood, he needs a clique. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 02:51 AM |
| – | Why do guys downgrade?Why do some guys leave the girl they think is perfect for them just to settle down with someone that's below their standards? This is not a common thing, especially among not-super-young adults. If anything, the opposite is far more common: men stay in relationships they don't even like because the woman seems like the best he can do on paper. However, keep in mind that just because you THINK someone is perfect for you doesn't mean you FEEL like your relationship is perfect. So what looks to oth… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/06/26 12:50 AM |
| 2 | Dating offline is honestly worse than online dating for most Gen Z men who want to date Gen Z womenWould you recommend going to bars and clubs alone? Not to most men. For most, being alone in that context makes a man look desperate, unbelonging and unfun. It's also brutal for social anxiety. Ideally, you'll go with a mixed-gender group. A still-good option is going with one female friend, especially if she's outgoing. A male friend will do in a pinch, as long as he's not a liability. The kind of men who do well in bars alone don't need advice. I've tried asking people but very few are interes… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/06/26 08:19 PM |
| 12 | Dating offline is honestly worse than online dating for most Gen Z men who want to date Gen Z womenGenerally, I see four main suggestions for dating online Hobbies/Meetups Speed Dating Cold approaches Work/Friends circle Number 1 is nightlife, and it's not even close. And no, nightlife is not synonymous with cold approaches. The best part about nightlife is that it creates, over time, an artificially large and context-dependent social network through which new people enter your life without the mind-numbing practice of always personally walking up to total strangers. Now, I have heard that Ge… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/06/26 05:31 PM |
| 1 | Am I wrong for thinking the chase is stupid?I always get the idea on this sub that men are expected to chase around women in the hope that she eventually gives him a chance So, don't do this. You're right: it is stupid. In my opinion, and experience, a good dating life looks more like the following. You go out of your way to meet new people. You take note of who is your type and who is likely to see you as their type, in a general sense. You identify the ones who seem to be on your wavelength and bring them closer. You make respectful mov… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/06/26 04:28 PM |
| 1 | How good would women be at dating if they had to be men for a year and date women?I think the learning curve would be steep. But, after a few months, I think the "women" would at least slightly outperform men in this arena. And the only reasons it would take that long are Because women are, as a whole, inexperienced and therefore more prone to anxiety. Their only models for male game to that point is what men have done to them. The F&F bit shouldn't be taken seriously, btw: it's a very contrived scenario wherein each participant is essentially playing a caricature of a gender… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/06/26 04:15 PM |
| 12 | I noticed that many people are performative progressives"Inclusive" doesn't require anyone to be personally attracted to your aesthetic. It just means they support your right to go about it and be welcomed in their society. NGL, you're in a hard lane. If things continue the way they are, it won't be so hard for the next generation and the next. As things stand at this moment, there is still a much narrower band of attractive masculinity than there is of femininity. And yes, that does pose certain ideological problems in the short term. But no one is … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/06/26 03:42 PM |
| – | Most men do not have passions or hobbies in their life because they focus more on getting a job and making money, even if it is not what they are passionate about, for a stable family.On average men choose jobs they hate to make more money The wage gap among young adults is just 5%. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/06/26 12:04 AM |
| 3 | Do you believe that straight men and women can actually be fully platonic friends?That sounds really sad and lonely. Do what you will, of course. But with a little more emotional maturity, you could hang out with everybody. Fantasies and feelings are nothing to fear, if your can handle them. They can even be fun! I dont know about most people, but many people handle this just fine. Most of my closest friends are attractive women. My girlfriend and I love one of them so much the three of us just moved across the country together. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/05/26 11:29 PM |
| 2 | Do you believe that straight men and women can actually be fully platonic friends?So you cant be friends with another bi person? And how can you be alone with anyone, if you could catch feelings for anyone and that is supposedly something to be avoided? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/05/26 11:02 PM |
| 1 | Do you believe that straight men and women can actually be fully platonic friends?Why would that be a bad idea? And again, what about bi people? By this logic, they cant have any platonic friends. Or... emotionally mature people just work it out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/05/26 10:54 PM |
| 5 | Do you believe that straight men and women can actually be fully platonic friends?I cant just trust you. I have lots of female friends. Sometimes feelings pop up. We deal with them like adults—which is to say, we either talk about it or not. And what about bi people? They cant have friends at all? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/05/26 10:47 PM |
| 8 | Do you believe that straight men and women can actually be fully platonic friends?What does "fully platonic" have to entail? Because, here's the thing: the relationship is defined by your behaviors, not whatever is going on in your head. Even if both of you catch feelings, you will remain platonic friends so long as you both decide not to act on them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/05/26 10:24 PM |
| 2 | “Giving someone a chance” is a selfish mindset and comes from a place of superioritycaveats You're missing my point: who says they even are "caveats"? In other words, what proves your generalization is valid in the first place? Because if it's not, and the diversity of motives and behaviors reflects the reality of a nuanced world, not just rare exceptions to a general truism, then the best general advice is indeed "Just do your best with the chances you get." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/05/26 07:30 PM |
| 1 | Feminine men or non-traditional men are hated due to misandry, not misogyny.That's not opting into femininity. It's theirs by default. Again, it's like how a child can act mature in certain ways. No one expects them to be 100% adult in every way. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/05/26 05:50 PM |
| 2 | “Giving someone a chance” is a selfish mindset and comes from a place of superiorityMy first comment listed three common reasons why one person would say they give another a chance. None of them fit your characterization as selfish or superior. You seem to be implying that there is a fourth, worse reason, and that it is much more common that the other 3 combined, to justify the generalization. Upon what facts would you found such a belief? You also suggest that people (though its now clear you're thinking of women) dont respect people they give chances to. Again, what is this b… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/05/26 05:48 PM |
| 5 | “Giving someone a chance” is a selfish mindset and comes from a place of superiorityYou clearly didn’t read the post I sure did. Your last few sentences are honestly horrific advice "Make the most out of the opportunities you're given," is great advice for pretty much anything. Comparing dating in your example puts the woman on a massive pedestal No it doesnt. It isnt even necessarily gendered. I've given women chances. Sometimes they show up and I think "wow, this was a great call"; sometimes they fumble. If anyone ever tells you that they’re giving you a chance and you go alo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/05/26 02:06 PM |
| 4 | “Giving someone a chance” is a selfish mindset and comes from a place of superiorityGiving someone a chance generally means one of three things: (1) curiosity, (2) slow-build attraction style, (3) reevaluation of one's own standards. In any case, it comes from being pursued—the pursuer knows it's a longshot. No one asking for a chance is going to appreciate you calling for a flat rejection. All of us deserve to be with someone who treats us like an amazing person in a relationship. None of us really "deserve" anything here. The objects of our desire are, in fact, whole other pe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/05/26 01:15 PM |
| 2 | Feminine men or non-traditional men are hated due to misandry, not misogyny.No, the feminist argument is that this is how femininity is viewed through the lens of patriarchy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/05/26 03:45 PM |
| 13 | Feminine men or non-traditional men are hated due to misandry, not misogyny.Substitute women with "children," and we see a similar paradigm, in which identities and traits are deemed precious by society, but only under the condition that they are strictly expected and controlled by their more dominant counterparts. We love, indulge and treasure children. We also view them as inferior and necessary to oppress for their own good. We also don't tolerate adults who act like children, but praise children for being mature for their age—childhood, like femininity, is a role yo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/05/26 12:14 PM |
| 3 | Men need to let go of the need to constantly defend women whenever they are criticised.no matter how true it is no matter how valid Uh huh. I think you're making the sadly common mistake of thinking men are defending women when they actually just attacking a position. People who like the argue on the internet like to argue on the internet. They look for positions they disagree with and jump in. It's like how criticizing Drake makes Drake stans automatically assume you're a die-hard Kendrick stan. Calling out a mid record isn't the same as picking a side in a rap beef. Frankly, I t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/05/26 10:13 AM |
| 5 | Where are all the straight women!?That's a No True Scotsman fallacy. I think part of your problem is that you're conflating the phenomenons of attraction and revulsion. When most people say "straight," they are explicitly referring to attraction. However, they are also implicitly assuming a correlative "revulsion," though the two are not always connected. For example, a perfectly straight man has high attraction to women and zero attraction to men. But if he also has zero revulsion toward men, he has no reason to avoid sexual ex… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/26 11:09 PM |
| 5 | Where are all the straight women!?that I’ve never heard even a single example of in my entire life How often do you talk about this subject with gay men? Because, otherwise, who's going to tell you? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/26 10:25 PM |
| 0 | Where are all the straight women!?Straight men never experiment with men. False. They just don't talk about it. According to studies, there may even be as many straight men with gay sexual experiences as there are gay men. Lesbian women never experiment with men Way, way more false. In fact, the majority of lesbians have had sex with a man at least once. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/26 10:24 PM |
| 4 | Men only need sex to assert themselves over women.It sounds like you don't actually hold the belief you want to debate. At any rate, I would say gay men have disproven the premise. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/26 08:36 PM |
| – | Why do some people have a problem with women not wanting to be approached, instead of understanding the real issue?So you’re saying even if men understood this issue and made it their mission to voice their concerns..nothing would change? I haven't speculated about "nothing." I only said that the behavior of transgressive men wouldn't likely change. Overall, I think the amount of intentioned influence men have over men is really overestimated. Then how do we explain the change we’ve made from 1926 to 2026? A combination of a lot social, political and economic factors, both predictable and not, we don't have … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/26 07:31 PM |
| – | Why do some people have a problem with women not wanting to be approached, instead of understanding the real issue?Everything you stated was valid but still missing my point. I got your point. but you also asked a question, which I attempted to answer. I mistakenly left out, however, one point: having a problem and understanding the real issue aren't mutually exclusive. Even if most men understood the issue and were vocal in their condemnation other men's bad behavior, it would be unlikely to change the behavior of those other men, and unlikely to change the perception that women's negative reactions suck. E… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/26 06:52 PM |
| – | Why do some people have a problem with women not wanting to be approached, instead of understanding the real issue?It's both complicated and not. All of those things you've said are totally valid, and it would be good for men, in general, to keep them in mind and afford women who didn't appreciate being approached a little grace. The following argument is in no way offered as a comparison to women's experiences, simply an explanation of why many men have issues. Men still have to do the lion's share of approaching, as a social norm, for every successfully formed relationship. Moreover, they have to do the li… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/26 06:28 PM |
| 0 | Will you marry a woman like that ?Average face card with average physique Nope. Wants you to court her and takes her time to escalate things with you (could be days to weeks) This is ambiguous. I generally do not "court." But if this requirement can be stretched to include starting as friends, that would do wonders for my patience. The rest of this is fine for me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/26 04:23 PM |
| 3 | If a Straight Men's Attitudes Towards Other Men Were Like Most Women's Attitudes Towards Other Women, People Would Conclude the Man is Gay (or Bisexual)First, I'm going to have to answer from my own perspective and closest social world. While behaviors 1-4 aren't normal, even for straight men in my super queer-friendly, "sexuality is fluid" metropolitan space, it's also not unheard of. It would provoke discussion, certainly. But the general consensus would be that if he says he's straight, he's straight. Sexuality is classically defined by "routine sexual and romantic attraction." Experimentation and appreciation doesn't count, nor does excitem… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/26 03:40 PM |
| 1 | Your social circle is not a representative sample of either genderThis is why we have passport bros advocating for moving countries/locations. There are differences in dating cultures within a single city. There are often differences within a neighborhood. If I went down the street, knocked a neighbor's house and asked him what dating in 2026 is like, his takes might totally different from mine without either of us actually being wrong. We're each answering on our respective experiences and probably have different backgrounds and present social scenes. There a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/05/26 09:01 PM |
| 3 | From wehre did you get all your information?Wehre did you get your information from? My life experience, the shared experience and observation of people around me, literary fiction, social science, etc. How do you started to be interested in this topic? I'm an avid dater and find the culture of dating interesting. Pill stuff in particular, I found by accident. I just started noticing references to it on non-pilled discussion groups and followed the thread. Like do you sit with random peopme and then randomly start talking about how many p… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/05/26 08:39 PM |
| 1 | Why do so many men pay for things like OF?Why do so many men pay for things like OF? Because they like it. Sure, there are free alternatives that they might also like, to some extent. But they know they like what they're paying for. And that's what money's for: to get what you want instead of taking what you can get. just to see a naked woman I think that's a reductive characterization of content. For one thing, women aren't interchangeable: there's bound to be some you're more attracted to than others. For another, most creators do mor… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/05/26 04:37 PM |
| 1 | How do you guys feel about married couples wanting attention from people outside of the marriage?OK, but i dont understand how it was reintroduced or how it's been shitified? Ive never thought about it before, but it's guess I assumed modern nonmonogamy has its roots in the emergence of the gay male community, then the broader queer community, and only recently started gaining popularity among young, straight people. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/26 11:13 PM |
| 1 | How do you guys feel about married couples wanting attention from people outside of the marriage?Sorry, I still dont get what that means. What makes the people shitty? How is it cheating if it's allowed by the rules? What makes this unnatural, or another version natural? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/26 10:48 PM |
| 1 | How do you guys feel about married couples wanting attention from people outside of the marriage?It’s in the single digits but you don’t just meet swinger couples, you also get all the tea from their swinger friends Sure, but the thing about tea is that it's more likely to be spilled when it's interesting. "That couple is chill" isn't as appealing a story as "that couple is messy." At any rate, a small sample is a small sample. Like, let's say I thought back to every monogamous couple I have ever met or heard of, numbered them, then used a random number generator to pick 5. The odds are pre… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/26 10:02 PM |
| 1 | How do you guys feel about married couples wanting attention from people outside of the marriage?predicated on an unnatural view of them What do you mean by "unnatural view"? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/26 09:51 PM |
| 3 | N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADIt's stupid to care about n counts. I'm stupid sometimes. Everyone is stupid sometimes about something. My n count hasn't increased in about a year. It's not even a dry spell: I just keep sleeping with the same three people. Well, tonight I actually have a first date. We had incredibly strong vibes when we met a week ago. My anticipation for tonight has practically ruined the whole day. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/26 09:50 PM |
| 4 | N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADYes. How you dress, how you have fun, and who your friends are all play into someone's stereotype about your potential promiscuity. Moreover, many people (especially straight men), won't even consider second-guessing their initial assumption. Even if another man in his group suggests it might not be true of a woman at a party in a low-cut top, there's a good chance he'll just be mocked for being so naive. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/26 09:44 PM |
| 1 | N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADYep. But that's just my take. Different men feel totally differently about the matter. Female virginity isn't nearly as stigmatized as male virginity, or even female promiscuity, for several reasons. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/26 09:41 PM |
| 5 | N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADCar sex is for one-time novelty and people too young to have a real place to go. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/26 09:40 PM |
| 1 | Has anyone here ever managed to change their type?Sort of. It's hard to say to what extent I did this intentionally, though. My taste in my early adulthood was mostly BASIC. I wanted the sorority girl who looks exactly like what you're picturing in your head right now. I was, however, not my type's type—no one would ever mistake me for a frat bro. Luckily, deep in my childhood, I also had a strange fixation towards "alt" girls—like, a poster of Angelina Jolie from Hackers on my bedroom wall, in sharp opposition to others of pop stars and superm… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/26 09:37 PM |
| 5 | The Femosphere deliberately genderizes behaviors that AREN'T gendered. (CMV)Ironically, you're making a similar mistake by focusing on the "femosphere." The manosphere does the same thing, as do humans in general. Most (straight) people are simply more sensitively attuned to how the other gender behaves than how their own does. Like, if men and women cheat, but you only date women, you're a lot more likely to eventually generate the idea that cheating is a female thing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/26 09:32 PM |
| 1 | How do you guys feel about married couples wanting attention from people outside of the marriage?Yea I think that the capitalist mindset of having everything you want, basically having your cake and eating it too has driven a lot of this idiocy Nonmonogamous relationships are, of course, pre-capitalistic, in both concept and history. If anything, monogamy, as a concept, is more closely aligned with capitalism, as its defining feature is holding exclusive rights. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/26 09:23 PM |
| 1 | How do you guys feel about married couples wanting attention from people outside of the marriage?but I will say that every real-life "open" or "swinger" couple I've met was a fucking shitshow and a half. And how many is that? Hundreds? Thousands? Most people who say this answer in single digits, which tells anyone who remembers learning probability in school all they need to know. If you want to fuck around, just be single for christ sake. It's not complicated. It is pretty complicated, if you don't want to be single. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/26 09:20 PM |
| 1 | How do you guys feel about married couples wanting attention from people outside of the marriage?I think it's crazy to take someone who has wanted something all their life and expect them to give it up the moment you enter the picture. How do I feel about this issue? I think it's fine. People who don't think it's fine should just marry each other, instead of trying to change the rest of us. And, ultimately, it's up to the couple to decide what their boundaries are through good old fashioned communication. Whatever they can agree to isn't wrong. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/26 09:17 PM |
| 2 | Your “archetype” aka what category you fall into upon first glance is the most important thing for attraction, for both genders.It’s the whole like, if he has a Rolex you might think he has money, If he has a rolex, she thinks he's the kind of guy who would not only spend money on a rolex, but wants everyone to know that about him. Depending on the woman observing him, that can either be a good or terrible sign. 😃 | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/26 09:10 PM |
| 1 | Your “archetype” aka what category you fall into upon first glance is the most important thing for attraction, for both genders.Interesting. I like the idea, but outside of extreme cases, it's still not more important than physical features. However, it's still hugely important and underutilized by most men, especially. As a guy, there’s lowkey less archetypes than women, and most guys actively trying to get with women try to be the same archetype, and that’s basically “successful, cool and collected and suave guy”. I don't think that's true. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm getting the impression, from this comment alon… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/26 09:07 PM |
| 0 | Is dating a numbers game for men?Having 71% of rejection is not a "losing number" for men. Losing is a matter of perspective. I'd call it a horrendous rate though. Besides, that's only the rejection rate from that one brief action. That doesn't mean the other two women actually accepted him further down the line. And it's faster to ask directly for sex than trying to get a relationship, and waiting weeks to be rejected... Maybe I'm not understanding what you mean, because those don't strike me as your only two options. It's 202… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/26 08:47 PM |
| 0 | Is dating a numbers game for men?They're not necessarily saying that the optimal strategy is to always try to be attractive to as many women as possible. Many, many of them are saying exactly that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/26 08:27 PM |
| 2 | Is dating a numbers game for men?Many men view and approach it as a numbers game. This is a philosophical disposition, not an objective reality. Personally, I never have. I see it as fun and deeply connecting and prioritize making sure everyone involved, including me, feels thrilled and safe and better-off for making this decision. A 71% rejection rate, especially in a brief period, reflects a systemic flaw in a man's whole game. Often, men who face a lot of rejection adopt the "numbers game" mentality as a thinly veiled defens… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/26 08:26 PM |
| – | Women use chores to avoid submitting to menBut he's probably as strict on himself as he is on his S/O He can be as strict as he wants with himself. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/26 10:14 PM |
| 1 | Do you have any kinks that do not involve your partner being in discomfort or pain?A date recently told me hers was words of affirmation. How dare you make me laugh with a mouth full of water. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/26 10:01 PM |
| 9 | Do you have any kinks that do not involve your partner being in discomfort or pain?Telegram rape chat groups, Discord pedo groups, dark web snuff/real rape porn seekers, etc., with significantly larger samples sizes Larger doesn't mean more representative. A sample of n = 50,000 people will tell you everyone loves the Yankees, if you do your poll at Yankee Stadium. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/26 09:54 PM |
| 4 | Do you have any kinks that do not involve your partner being in discomfort or pain?Vouyerism and exhibitionism. Groups or 3 or more. Light roleplay. deepthroating, anal, choking or spanking I don't like deepthroating. The tactile sensation and resultant noises are all slightly unsettling. As for the other three, I'm guessing you don't sleep with a lot of women. If you did, you might notice how often they straight up request those things. I think they're just "human" kinks, at this point. From the way men in this subreddit talk about sex, it seems that their enjoyment comes fro… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/26 09:48 PM |
| – | Women use chores to avoid submitting to menAs the primary chore-doer in our house, I beg to differ. It's a legit complaint. I don't do it to occupy my time—I'd often rather be doing anything else—or to avoid pleasing my partner. I do it, in part, because it pleases my partner. This goes against how most men are wired. If he's not gung-ho about doing it himself, he's probably not stressing too heavily about you doing it either...is how most men are wired. Some men are like this, which, by the way, can be kind of annoying. However, many me… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/26 09:39 PM |
| – | Men who complain about “skill issue” aren’t actually developing skill.I'm not remotely knowledgeable enough to talk about autism. I can say that skills vary dramatically between all individuals. Even the most popular, charismatic and sexually successful man you've ever seen has moments that stand out forever in his memory as reminders that he could be better. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/05/26 06:11 PM |
| 1 | There are some who claim the pills are not political but that seems ignorant at least.I wouldn't say the pills are inherently political. It's more that politics and dating-politics often come from the same sources: values and worldview. The manosphere disproportionately attracts men who embrace, or wish to embrace, certain traditional values and perspectives. A big selling point is the promise to show you how to do so better in the modern era, as well as providing a sense of community to those who feel alienated from progressive social norms. There is also, understandably, an ech… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/05/26 05:59 PM |
| 2 | There are some who claim the pills are not political but that seems ignorant at least.As an educated guess, gender gap in politics is simply nowhere near as big as the one in support for what we can only vaguely call "manosphere values." As such, this can't be a sufficient explanation. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/05/26 05:47 PM |
| 9 | Men can only access emotional intimacy through a romantic partnerI feel like this is often true, but overgeneralized and missing something. First, men can and do have emotional intimate friendships with other men. It's an option, even if most men don' take it in most of their male friendships. Second, men can have friendships with women. When we do, it is often more emotionally intimate. To my dismay, many men choose not to pursue this, and for various reasons. Lastly, in my experience, men who do have emotionally intimate friendships with women are also more… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/05/26 03:54 PM |
| – | Men who complain about “skill issue” aren’t actually developing skill.But it's not a bad thing to love us out of "aww look at the poor guy, I'll give him some love". I've seen a lot of men say that's bad, especially around here. We can interact with you, women can also take initiative instead of expecting men to make first moves. Women can and do. But when they take initiative, it's only logical to expect it to be in pursuit of what they most immediately desire. It should be obvious that such a process won't benefit the typical man who is already struggling. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/05/26 03:30 PM |
| – | Men who complain about “skill issue” aren’t actually developing skill.It's true there are novel methods to learn the basics, but that just speaks even more to the original point that games like basketball and chess are far more straightforward to learn than social skills. I think it speaks to a different point entirely. If getting better was straightforward, the old ways would still be considered sufficient. The reason they aren't is because people invested enough to innovate, rationally explain the benefits of different approaches, demonstrate effectiveness, acti… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/05/26 03:02 PM |
| – | Men who complain about “skill issue” aren’t actually developing skill.your starting level may vary and is largely outside of your control True. But it's also true of basically everything. As such, it's not really worth worrying about. Even though you do better now, it may still not be enough to form a romantic/sexual relationship, or land your dream job, for example. True. But no one ever guaranteed you anything. Your odds are, at least, improved. And if you've really done all you can, you can finally, rationally, eliminate that variable from future analysis. Seco… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/05/26 02:37 PM |
| – | Men who complain about “skill issue” aren’t actually developing skill.It did. I'm not approaching from a side. I'm not taking either side, and it's not necessary to do so for my actual point. Sometimes struggles are mostly a skill issue, sometimes they're not. It depends on the individuals and situations. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/05/26 01:16 AM |
| – | Men who complain about “skill issue” aren’t actually developing skill.Relationships are adversarial. Sexued reproduction is adversarial. They're really not. Cooperation occurs when there's a healthy force rapport. Umm... what? Which isn't possible unless you are totally brainwashed by religion. I have no chance of following this, do I? If two (or more) people find each other hot and want to get laid and hang out all the time, it's... religious? the point of chess isn't the adversariality, but the amount of effort expected to be playing on the same ground. The poin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/05/26 01:14 AM |
| – | Men who complain about “skill issue” aren’t actually developing skill.is like if you were to play chess with only pawns against a woman who has only queens and you're told that it's your fault for not winning. Dating isn't adversarial. You arent playing against women, unless you're competing for bisexuals. Anyway, this thread isnt about women, nor about why "skill issue" is inflammatory. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/05/26 12:45 AM |
| – | Men who complain about “skill issue” aren’t actually developing skill.But PUA still isn't "practice", Im using "practice" figuratively, because of the basketball metaphor in the post. It encompasses all of the thing you do to improve game performance except during the game itself. Just having friends is somewhat of practice, and having specifically female friends helps even more, but it is still not the same thing as real practice, as specifically having the attributes that make one attractive is different than just being a friend to someone I agree, but there can… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/05/26 12:42 AM |
| – | Men who complain about “skill issue” aren’t actually developing skill.That is not basically it. I mean, if you weren't all that serious about getting better, that might be all you think of. But if you joined a team, or were invested enough to google the question or watch Youtube videos, you'll quickly realize that modern players at every skill level do lots of different things to develop these days. You'll even find actual science to back up certain routines. Like, you haven't even considered strength and conditioning training, or any of those weird things people … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/05/26 12:21 AM |
| – | Men who complain about “skill issue” aren’t actually developing skill.Yep, exactly the opposite. Throughout my career, the guys who have gotten laid the most and easiest have always been the one with many close female friendships. I'd even say that's logical, for many reasons. Are you young, by any chance? I don't think what I'm describing applies before, like, age 23 at least. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/05/26 12:18 AM |
| – | Men who complain about “skill issue” aren’t actually developing skill.Getting lots of female friends helped me tremendously. I'd say it was actually the biggest difference maker, when I was young enough to need a difference made. But nothing is guaranteed. Coaches make players better, but no amount of coaching made me a varsity basketball player. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/26 11:20 PM |
| – | Men who complain about “skill issue” aren’t actually developing skill.I'm not missing that point. It's simply not what we're talking about right now. If someone says "my kid keeps playing basketball but he isn't seeing enough improvement," you're supposed to be talking about drills, coaching, conditioning, study, etc. You'll be missing the point of the conversation if all you can say is "play basketball." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/26 11:15 PM |
| – | Men who complain about “skill issue” aren’t actually developing skill.You seem to be talking about improving at the advanced/elite level whereas I’m talking about improving from beginner to decent. Nope, every level. Beginners with 150 ELOs are using Stockfish engines to spot their mistakes. Elementary school hoopers are doing NBA drills in their driveway because they saw them on Youtube. Not sure the relevance of being able to practice writing or public speaking on your own… those are totally different beasts than being socially likable. Not really. They're forms… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/26 11:08 PM |
| – | Men who complain about “skill issue” aren’t actually developing skill."Doing," as in, following red pill dating strategies which are similar to the PUA playbook. Right, but that still means going out and talking to women un a unstructured setting, right? That's not practicing; that's playing the game. The thread is about what one might do between games. Nobody will do that for an American guy who grew up in America and needs coaching on his regional American social culture I think people do that all the time. They just don't think of it as what they're doing. Anyt… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/26 10:56 PM |
| – | Men who complain about “skill issue” aren’t actually developing skill.Improving social skills is possible but nowhere near as straightforward as improving at basketball or chess. I think you're missing something pretty big here. Improving at basketball is so incredibly un-straightforward that techniques are still being innovated and refined 135 years after its invention. Improving at chess has radically changed several times over the centuries, and especially since the popularization of chess engines and social media. Whoever invented chess puzzles in the 9th cent… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/26 10:22 PM |
| – | Men who complain about “skill issue” aren’t actually developing skill.The problem is not all of the traits women find attractive can be worked toward or improved on That isn't a problem within the purview of this conversation. We're talking only about developed skills, not natural characteristics. and so far I'm down 11kg and also feel stronger Congrats! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/26 10:00 PM |
| 2 | It's your fault if you can't find someone by "following the script"You literally said: "relationship based on casual are statistically bad" What were you talking about? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/26 09:55 PM |
| – | Men who complain about “skill issue” aren’t actually developing skill.constantly telling men to stop reading the subreddit and to go out and actually do. For the purposes of this thread, doing doesn't actually count as practice. I addressed why in more detail in another comment, if you want me to link you to it. ideally you are socialized since childhood into your teenage years to understand what is acceptable and unacceptable I don't disagree here, but I think it undersells the importance of adaptability. Like, imagine (if you haven't experienced it), visiting a … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/26 09:52 PM |
| – | Men who complain about “skill issue” aren’t actually developing skill.I'm not saying it can't be a good learning experience. But success and failure hinge on many factors, including those beyond your control. For instance, say you don't get a second date one day and do get a second date another. Did you actually do better? Or did SHE do better? Or was she just a more easygoing person? Or was she just in a better mood, or trying to get over an ex, or even just more compatible? The outcome a real, social experience often tells you almost nothing about your own perfo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/26 09:35 PM |
| – | Men who complain about “skill issue” aren’t actually developing skill.Virtually everything humans do depends, to some extent, on a skill issue. But the same could be said about luck issues and structural issues. In dating, those extents are really a case-by-case sort of deal. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/26 08:45 PM |
| – | Men who complain about “skill issue” aren’t actually developing skill.The guys who are good at it, what PUAs called "naturals," are usually the least likely to even understand what makes them good. Birds don't study aerodynamics, they just get to it. "How?" is a good question. As I said, PUA came up with one version of an answer. It seems like people who get told they have skill issues would be motivated to brainstorm some of their own. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/26 08:31 PM |
| – | Men who complain about “skill issue” aren’t actually developing skill.Per the premise, a date doesn't count. That's the game itself, not the practice. Analyzing afterward would count. But how do you analyze? Are there tools, metrics, coaches? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/26 08:26 PM |
| 2 | It's your fault if you can't find someone by "following the script"This is an interesting study for many reasons. It is not, however, a study that says anywhere that relationships starting from casual sex are bad. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/26 08:19 PM |
| 1 | It's your fault if you can't find someone by "following the script"You actually have statistics on that? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/26 07:29 PM |
| 4 | CMV: There is no discernible difference between an asexual woman and the average, heterosexual-identified one.And yet she still dates men What evidence do we have that even a simple majority of asexual women actively date? She talks about “hot guys” to fit in with her friends, gushes over fictional men, marries men, sleeps with men, builds her whole life around men I feel like you're just making up a person, here. Surely there are real, individual people who resemble your made-up person, but I don't see how we could justify this as a generalization of asexual women. how exactly would you tell her apart … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/26 07:25 PM |
| 7 | There is no such thing as a men having a skill issue.This “skill issue” argument is bogus Virtually every human endeavor involves skill, to some extent. The only exceptions are those in which we have no performative action: like winning a coin toss or waking up from a coma. maintain the “women are wonderful” status quo It's got nothing to do with that. The women you're hitting on might be fucking awful for all we know. That doesn't change the fact that you could, possibly, be doing a better or worse job at it. The argument assumes that if a man st… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/26 05:20 PM |
| 2 | Question for blue pill: how come it's not considered "rape culture" when people complain that manosphere people have "issues" because they can't get laid?I think there's two things going on. One, that often times this is said, it's not because the speaker actually believes it. It's supposed to be mean, but also ironical, like an actual gay person calling a straight man "gay" as an insult. The implication is supposed to be that there isn't actually a problem, except the one created in the warped mind of the recipient. Two, there is a feedback loop created by this kind of logic. On the one hand, it does cast sex (presumably with women) as a mental … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/26 08:54 PM |
| -1 | The way to fix the gender wars is for men to become more like women.Women, meanwhile, view themselves as goddesses and 10s, no matter how they actually look. Not only that, but they view essentially every member of the opposite sex as innately worthless garbage that is disposable at a moment’s notice. You're mistaking rhetoric, especially exaggerated internet rhetoric, for reality. Most women take huge esteem hits when rejected by men, even if he's nothing special. Women doubt their looks constantly. But these are private tears and convos with trusted friends. M… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/26 12:48 PM |
| 1 | SwipeStats data from 2026 demonstrates that Hinge is mathematically non-viable for the average male userand the top 25% pull in over 80% of all likes. This is oddly close to wealth distribution in the United States. Combined with a 60/40 male-to-female gender ratio Is that actually bad? I mean, it's obviously not ideal, but what would it be useful to even compare to, aside from other apps? If I walked into a crowded party or bar, I'd be fine with 60/40. Are we all supposed to be afraid of any competition? the average guy is stuck with a 2% to 5% match rate. So, assuming you max out your 8 free lik… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/05/26 08:54 PM |
| 2 | Why do you think men outnumber women on dating/hookup apps?There are several other key factors as to why gay men are so much more receptive to this sort of thing. All the same, if you actually hang out with a lot of gay men, you'll find many do make the same complaint when looking for actual relationships. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/05/26 03:40 PM |
| 2 | Why do you think men outnumber women on dating/hookup apps?A reasonable inference. but the text only said they had matches, which is inclusive of both positive and negative interactions. Truly, a lot of women bail out apps due to disgust and fatigue. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/05/26 03:37 PM |
| 2 | Women have unintentionally made the decent men leave the dating poolIn my experience, men who try a certain approach style in 2026 generally fall into 3 camps. They don't know. This is common among men from older generations, men who aren't very online, and men who don't socialize with women very often. This type often says or does something disqualifying and doesn't get why, or doesn't believe it when it's explained. This often leads to anger. They know, but don't believe. These men are pre-convinced that of Op's point. If what they try doesn't work, they defau… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/05/26 01:49 AM |
| 2 | Women have unintentionally made the decent men leave the dating poolI always found this to be a weird assumption It's more of an estimation than just an assumption. - if these kinds of behaviour wouldn't work out for the men who exhibit them, the men wouldn't keep them up. That would be true, if humans were entirely rational actors with access to perfect information. We're not and we don't. TL:DR, for many reasons, humans rarely make optimal, data-driven adjustments. Let's start with the "perfect information." Say you try an approach with a woman and it doesn't … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/05/26 01:12 AM |
| 0 | Why do you think men outnumber women on dating/hookup apps?That's... really just a subjection of [4]. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/05/26 12:52 AM |
| 40 | Why do you think men outnumber women on dating/hookup apps?Men are more likely to develop spontaneous attraction based on limited information (looks). Individual men are generally more attracted to a larger range of women - note: this is not an 80/20 argument; this is a "many men will swipe right on half the female population" argument. Men are likely to perceive very little danger in inviting a relative stranger into their lives. Women are more likely to receive matches, meaning they are less likely to remain on an app for a long, contiguous time. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 11:41 PM |
| 1 | Hypothetical choice (I think these are fun!)In either of the scenarios, am I free to have sex with other people? If so, I'll take B. If not, I'll take A. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 11:23 PM |
| 4 | Women have unintentionally made the decent men leave the dating poolThe sensitive men who actually took women’s feedback to heart are now terrified At a certain point, sensitivity to other's concerns crosses a line into personal insecurity. The positively sensitive men hear criticism and are motivated to do better. The negatively insecure ones hear the complaints and are motivated to run away. Which of those responses do you think most women will interpret as attractive, anyway? Which do you think makes a better standard of "decency"? In the meanwhile, the men w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 11:11 PM |
| – | Guys, if your girl goes clubbing, is that a dealbreaker?Hot take: clubbing is fun. Not for everyone, obviously. But if you're one of the ones that really likes it, it's pretty crazy for someone to expect you to just instantly give it up for life. If you're someone who doesn't like clubbing, you should probably really think about that before considering dating someone who does. It's not the dancing, "attention" or "guys buying drinks." Let's be real: that shit barely even works on single women. The problem is the lifestyle difference... and usually th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/05/26 06:21 PM |
| 1 | Why do Men degrade and insult Women who have sex with them?Consensus means a calculated choice No, it doesn't. The reason it's objective is because it's biological That's still not what objective means. Like, if every human being thought blue was the prettiest color, "prettiness" is still an inherently subjective quality. But, ok, what is the organ, generally or specific biological process that governs this disgust? There will always be a couple of % of outliers in every case Yes, and in the absence of actual facts, anyone can claim any position other t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/05/26 12:25 AM |
| 2 | Why do Men degrade and insult Women who have sex with them?You asked what the difference is between a woman using derogatory language to describe her role in their sexual activities That is not what I asked. The person who's culpable is always the person who performed the action[...]If I hit your car on accident, I am responsible. This metaphor presupposes that "cracked" is bad, a premise to which we have not agreed. For example, replace it with something neither of us think is bad and see how that affects the underlying argument. If you say "hello" to … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/05/26 12:09 AM |
| 1 | Why do Men degrade and insult Women who have sex with them?The term „cracked“ itself is so gross because it’s just another word for „defiled“. Uh, no. It's literally another word for "fucked," because "fucked," gets censored on Tik Tok. It's phonetically similar, so your Tik Tok audience instantly knows what you're talking about without much further context. That's the whole point of this, and basically all, Tik Tok-originated swears. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/05/26 12:06 AM |
| 0 | If you haven’t dated in the last 10-15 yrs you shouldn’t be giving dating adviceI'm almost 40. A lot of things in the dating landscape has changed. But the fundamentals haven't. The game is the game. When I was in hs I’d get a girls number and I’d pretty much know for certain she’s the only one I’m talking to. Pretty much the same throughout most of early college. And yoy assume your personal experience was universal? I remember being 20 and talking about how getting a number didnt actually mean much of anything. I remember lots of competition before dating apps. Conditions… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/05/26 01:43 PM |
| 0 | Men aging like fine wine is mostly a mythI mean, wine doesn't age well at all, if not properly taken care of. In general, assuming nothing physical significantly changes, a man should expect to be a somewhat more attractive at 30 than at 20, simply due to maturity and social experience. The ones who aren't have usually stagnated, or let something important passively degrade (like fitness). It's not magic. It does take some effort. But the things that take effort also take time, so having that time works in your favor for a while. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/26 10:45 PM |
| 2 | Why do Men degrade and insult Women who have sex with them?All men having that opinion makes it objective That's not what "objective" means. You're describing "consensus." And it still isn't all men. So you just described the vaguest thing ever, No, I described a specific thing. I said that many people experience variable attraction influenced by behavior. I can't help that you assumed a bunch of things I didn't say. What percentage of men do women consider attractive? I hate to break it to you, but there's actually no way to reasonably answer that ques… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/05/26 11:21 AM |
| 2 | Why do Men degrade and insult Women who have sex with them?Whether the use of offensive slang is part of a broader youth “slang culture” or not isn’t really relevant. I'd say the relevance is that, from their perspective, they may be using slang, not "offensive slang." It is always possible that someone, somewhere, would find it offensive, but that doesnt make user's aware of it, user's convinced of it, or that someone any more correct. Societies still evaluate language for moral and social impact. Yes, but has it? Did society writ large already decide … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/26 11:35 PM |
| – | If bluebell advice worked the manosphere wouldn’t existJust because the term TRP didn't exist 20 years ago doesn't mean the idea didn't. Yeah, the idea that being more attractive makes you attract more has been around for literally thousands of years. You can go back to Ancient Greece and find stories of literal goddesses competing over beautiful human men. My point is that just because TRP is saying it doesn't make it TRP's idea. One doesn't have to take the red pill to gain this most-obvious of insights. There is such a thing as having socially ac… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/26 10:49 PM |
| – | If bluebell advice worked the manosphere wouldn’t existsocial sciences reject TRP I've never seen an example of this. I'm not under the impression that many in social science are particularly aware or concerned about TRP in the first place to bother rejecting it. because it states ideas that might be uncomfortable and counter some narratives that it usually spins. Eh, no, that's actually pretty much what social science is for. That's part of why it has produced so little consensus, as a discipline. It's easier to build a career if you're saying some… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/26 10:34 PM |
| 2 | Why do Men degrade and insult Women who have sex with them?I’m well aware that extremely young people tend to choose abrasive language as a means of attracting attention. I think it reflects immaturity and lack of emotional intelligence. Young people tend to use slang more, regardless of whether it is abrasive or offensive. But, of course, "abrasive" and "offensive" are subjective qualities. Labeling them such only privileges your perspective over theirs. It doesn't make an argument for why it should be so. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/26 10:07 PM |
| 1 | Why do Men degrade and insult Women who have sex with them?The difference is that all men have that opinion I don't have that opinion. Even if I did, it would still be a circular argument: "men have this opinion because it's different because men have this opinion" and so on. Male model tier guys wouldn't get tens of thousands of women each, despite admitting to being convicted serial "pea doughs" and "grapists", while normal, average guys get nothing, if that was true That is inaccurate. The claim is only that attraction isn't static and many people ex… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/26 07:59 PM |
| 7 | Why do Men degrade and insult Women who have sex with them?As usual, the difference is consent. If I jokingly call myself a slut, I am consenting to that, obv. If my partner says it, knowing I'm cool with it, I am consenting to that. If my partner says it, not having discussed it with me, I haven't consented. Even if I've consented to him using it at home, I haven't consented to him using it in public/with his friends. This does not address my question. Notice how you switched the subject from "they" to "I"? That's because analyzing this through a lens … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/26 07:56 PM |
| -3 | Why do Men degrade and insult Women who have sex with them?Why? I don't think it's going out on a limb to guess that most have been exposed to this sort of feminist rhetorical theory before. At the very least, they have their own perceptions and preferences about slang words for sex. What is a scolding going to do to convince them to abandon theirs for yours? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/26 06:56 PM |
| -2 | Why do Men degrade and insult Women who have sex with them?As near as I can tell, women have popularized "got cracked." It's not men driving tik tok content. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/26 04:19 PM |
| 4 | Why do Men degrade and insult Women who have sex with them?Because there is a difference between having sex with one guy, and having sex with several guys What is the difference other than male perception, which is a circular argument? Attraction is not negotiable It's not static, either. You've never gained nor lost attraction based on someone's behavior? Perhaps not, but many people can relate to that experience. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/26 04:16 PM |
| 14 | Why do Men degrade and insult Women who have sex with them?humiliation My last point is that humiliation isn't real, in a strict sense of the word. It's a product of a dynamic process of perception. When you see women posting tik toks literally celebrating that they "got cracked," it's clear that they don't perceive themselves as humiliated. If their boyfriends say it too, who's to say whether they perceive themselves as performing humiliation? If you, the audience, feels humiliation for them, what is it you're really responding to: their sensibilities,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/26 02:34 PM |
| 4 | Why do Men degrade and insult Women who have sex with them?Why do Men degrade and insult Women who have sex with them? This is a good question. The broadest answer is something about the remnants of purity culture, male privilege, evolutionary psych, resentment over perceived differences in the "difficulty" of obtaining sex, and so on. But I'm bored with all of those arguments. The fact is, we simply don't have to and should resist the urge. You see it in the Language This is a much more interesting direction to take it, but also one of those topics tha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/26 02:09 PM |
| 1 | Guys seem to be very chill about being around people they dont like or generally unlikable people.I think this just boils down to "a lot of men are desperate." Even many of the ones who aren't clearly desperate, or who seem to have abundance, or who authentically love their lives the way they are, still often behave as though from a desperate mindset. Perhaps this is just a practiced habit that's hard to break. I'd say that women are quite similar. It just manifests in different ways. With younger women, especially, you can catch a lot hanging out with friends who, it is later revealed, they… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/05/26 08:06 PM |
| 2 | If bluebell advice worked the manosphere wouldn’t existSeparate reply for a tangential point: TRP works because it has falsifiable claims and you can test each and every one of its claims. The big difference is that it actually shows you results. Ironically, BPers are normally those who cry "follow the science" except when it's an actual scientific method that happens to yield results that counter their narrative. TRP, or at least the vast majority of everyone ever associated with it I have ever heard in the 5ish years I've been interested in the to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/05/26 01:34 PM |
| 2 | If bluebell advice worked the manosphere wouldn’t existExcept they don't. Funny, lots of men who grew up in the same society you did got the message. I don't know how old you are. I'm almost 40. As such, I can tell you that working out, getting money, becoming generally impressive to better their lives and attract women was all stuff boys were talking about in, like, my suburban middle school in the late 90s. Red pill didn't exist in the early 2000s, yet you could find all the popular guys from my dorm in the gym 2 hours a day, expressly to look goo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/05/26 01:17 PM |
| 29 | If bluebell advice worked the manosphere wouldn’t existFlat-earthers still exist. Let's not pretend ideologies and subcultures are ever purely driven by empirical fact. characters in the Manosphere will tell you fitness, appearance and your money/career need to level up to get better results Anyone could tell you this, including bluepillers, and including the mainstream media before the advent of the manosphere. It is simply obvious that being more attractive tends to attract more effectively. Blue pill advice The issue is that there is no true set … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/05/26 10:03 PM |
| 1 | If you are not willing to sacrifice everything to get it, then you don’t deserve it.Still not clear on what your point is. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/26 12:02 PM |
| 1 | If you are not willing to sacrifice everything to get it, then you don’t deserve it.Good" in this case wouldn't be he has a lot of ons. It's being a good lover The meaning of "good" is up to him, not a random internet onlooker. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/26 12:02 PM |
| 1 | If you are not willing to sacrifice everything to get it, then you don’t deserve it.I'm not sure what your point is. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/26 11:54 AM |
| 1 | If you are not willing to sacrifice everything to get it, then you don’t deserve it.And I've never seen a man do it. I don't see how that matters to this discussion. Unless you're calling me a liar, or something, the net result of me seeing it happen and you not seeing it happen is still that it happens. conflation of cause and effect The impression I'm getting by your frequent reference to this line of thought is that you're viewing cause and effect as a discrete, two-step process. In reality, especially social reality, it is often more of a feedback loop. Each element is both… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/26 09:54 PM |
| 0 | If you are not willing to sacrifice everything to get it, then you don’t deserve it.but only to an extent. It's not as simple Everything is only to an extent and nothing is necessarily simple. But, in general, success will increase your confidence. Pre-selection is mostly just men conflating cause and effect. No, it's a natural consequence of humans being social animals with highly subjective aesthetic values. For example, if you tell someone that a work of art is expensive, they are more likely to percieve it as good. If you tell them that it is widely considered good, they ar… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/26 08:43 PM |
| 2 | If you are not willing to sacrifice everything to get it, then you don’t deserve it.Never said you shouldn't. My question was, would not getting one thing you want make your life miserable? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/26 08:33 PM |
| 0 | If you are not willing to sacrifice everything to get it, then you don’t deserve it.Why not? Also, wouldn't it be fair to refer to "having casual sex" as "sexual freedom," to avoid biasing the comparison? To be real, and so you don't think I'm just playing devil's advocate, I've had the experience of being broke and of being absolutely useless at getting laid. I've also had the experience of having more money than I had any interest in spending, and of easily sleeping with lots of women I desired. Between the two "freedoms," I honestly can't decide which felt better. Both are l… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/26 07:38 PM |
| 1 | If you are not willing to sacrifice everything to get it, then you don’t deserve it.Men obsession with casual sex is truly astonishing to me. Like I understand being obsessed with wanting a partner if you’re failing at dating Then you understand this just fine. It's the same psychological mechanism, just with a different base desire. People desire different things, so this in no way complicates the scenario. Nor is wanting something different than a peer inherently less healthy or valid. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/26 07:15 PM |
| 0 | If you are not willing to sacrifice everything to get it, then you don’t deserve it.Sleeping with more women doesn't make you desirable. Being desirable makes it easier to sleep with a lot of women. It does, in fact, work both ways. First, it should be obvious that success makes people more confident, and a healthy amount of confidence is both attractive and improves performance. Second, pre-selection is a thing. Though it can be overstated in this discourse, a sense that a man is sexy to other women does have an effect on women's personal evaluations. This isn't unique to wome… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/26 07:13 PM |
| 7 | If you are not willing to sacrifice everything to get it, then you don’t deserve it.Your life will be miserable if you don't get everything you want? That doesn't sound healthy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/26 06:19 PM |
| 1 | If you are not willing to sacrifice everything to get it, then you don’t deserve it.Complaining about what it takes is just a waste of time. So is arguing about this on reddit. Since when is that a problem? If your complaints do not accomplish anything then they are completely and utterly worthless. I repeat... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/26 04:00 PM |
| 1 | If you are not willing to sacrifice everything to get it, then you don’t deserve it.I addressed this too, when I said, "these complaints are likely to be innefectual." People who have the solution to a problem dont need to complain. Complaints are for people who don't. This whole post is, essentially, you complaining about people whose behavior you cant change. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/26 03:46 PM |
| 1 | If you are not willing to sacrifice everything to get it, then you don’t deserve it.I answered that already. Because they feel the cost is too high. Imagine if the cost of toothpaste went up to $100. You technically could pay it. If you're broke to begin with, you could get a night job to support your toothpaste consumption. You could suffer from inadequate sleep and mental health effects for the toothpaste. But pretty much anyone, whether they chose to pay or not, will agree that something is wrong with a system that makes toothpaste $100 in the first place. That argument is v… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/26 03:41 PM |
| 4 | If you are not willing to sacrifice everything to get it, then you don’t deserve it.We're talking about casual sex, right, not the Iron Throne of Westeros? I dont think "deserve" is a useful concept here. More importantly, I think that people have every right to complain about the cost of any particular thing they want being unreasonably high. These complaints are likely to be ineffectual, but who are you to suggest they are altogether invalid? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/26 03:22 PM |
| 1 | CMV: Men in their 20s should date around and play the fieldTrue. Though, on a long enough timeline, one might look back and revisit whether "the one" was actually just "someone" after all. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/04/26 08:21 PM |
| 1 | CMV: Men in their 20s should date around and play the fieldeven if they find the one early? Looking at it rationally, the odds that the one ends up being "the one" are not great. I suggest viewing the whole thing as a fundamentally unuseful concept. If you feel happy there's no need to drop a girl. I generally agree. But I also don't think it's a good idea to go all-in and rush through life stages with her. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/04/26 08:20 PM |
| 1 | CMV: Men in their 20s should date around and play the fieldDo you really think men can't be self aware without personally trying every single thing with multiple people? I don't think any of us can ever be truly self-aware. If Eastern "enlightenment" is possible, they maybe... everything short is just an educated guess. The less educated, the more the guess comes down to luck. Some people get lucky: their first guess ends up close enough to last them a lifetime, through all the ways they, and their circumstances, change. In my opinion, that does not see… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/04/26 08:16 PM |
| 1 | What’s your opinion on the friend zone?I differ from many of my peers in that I believe the zone really exists. I mean, I've sat around listening to women talk about men in their lives and say, "Hmm... I think I'm just going to put him in the friend zone." It means they at least briefly considered him as a possible sexual-romantic interest, but are now consciously disqualifying him. It may also imply that they have no particularly strong interest in being friends anyway, but also no strong interest in just totally dismissing him from… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/04/26 06:03 PM |
| 1 | Casual sex is accessible to any man competent enough to get itProbably not the most common. After all, it stands to reason that the men having the most casual sex are either A) the most attractive, B) around the most casual women, or C) both. In each case, lying is less likely to be tempting, let alone necessary. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/04/26 05:56 PM |
| 2 | People are inconsistent about masculine traits and behaviorsI see so much commentary online about what men are “primed” to do. Men are primed to provide. Men are primed to seek out younger women and/or multiple women or etc. Men are primed to lead and conquer. Men are primed to control their woman. That sort of pop-evo-bio stuff is completely inane. Like it seems other men are purposefully choosing to embrace the traits and behaviors that benefit them now, while forgoing everything that they used to be responsible for before. That, however, sounds intell… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/04/26 05:49 PM |
| – | Maybe one way to reduce red-pill misogyny is letting “average” guys have their own hoe phase later…..?So what if instead of ignoring that frustration, we acknowledged it and supported those guys having their own phase later once they’re more stable (job, money, confidence, etc.), say mid-20s? Thing is, mid-20s is honestly still quite young. Men who are struggling in their late-teens or early 20s usually haven't developed so much that they can start a hoe phase at 25. If they could, they would—they wouldn't need any societal encouragement beyond that which is already readily apparent. The other p… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/04/26 05:38 PM |
| 1 | Failed approaching in friends/hobby/work circle poisons this circleTL:DR This is a skill issue. Now when he tries to approach any other girl in the same circle, she knows that he was previously rejected by her friend This is true and important. If you go around asking everyone out in a social circle, you're just creating a situation where it would be literally embarrassing to say "yes" to you. However, it's not necessarily a bad thing and, where it is, there are many ways to mitigate the damage. Here's the thing: Red Pill is uniquely interested in giving men a … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/04/26 05:20 PM |
| 21 | Women tell us to not objectify them, but they end up doing it themselvesYou are allowed to objectify yourself. You are literally yours. Objectifying anyone else should only be done with their permission. This is not a difficult concept. It's not men who have thirst trap, Instagram and only fans accounts. It's less common, sure. But there are indeed a LOT of men doing these things. If you don't see it, it's because your algorithm doesn't think you're the target audience. ripping men off their money. Telling men exactly what they'll get for exactly how much money is n… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/04/26 03:06 PM |
| 1 | Men are not capable of romantic love.What seems more likely? Nearly all the men in the world for thousands of years are conducting a massive, unspoken conspiracy, on nearly all women, in all arts and media, even on each other, even on their therapists, even in their suicide notes, even in their private journals that no one finds until years after they're gone. You're just projecting about yourself. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/04/26 10:47 PM |
| 1 | Men would be much better off taking advice from other men similar to them who actually get results rather than women perhaps.Best actionable advice I got was from a guy only These are all examples of advice women usually give, btw. Men would be much better off taking advice from other men similar to them who actually get results I think that most men who need advice don't have such mentors readily available. If they did, they wouldn't be complaining about how hard it is for guys like them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/04/26 03:46 PM |
| 5 | Real relationships cannot replace escorting.with close to no stakes or having to prove anything That's exactly why most men find it not validating. It's a good practice of detaching your self-worth from sex-having. I don't think that makes sense. For exactly the reason mentioned above, it likely won't have much impact on your self-worth at all. And that's sort of the best-case scenario, if we also imagine a world in which sex work is fully normalized. If it's less than fully normalized, it can hurt your self-worth because you may experie… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/04/26 03:21 PM |
| 3 | Red Pillers idolize the wrong menat minimum hitting a gym, not putting women on pedestal, having drive, making as much money as possible,... What I don't understand is, none of these things are new. I gathered all of that from mainstream media, and I grew up in the 90s and early 00s. How does anyone in a modern western society need a specialized influencer to tell them that being fitness, money, drive and self-esteem are, in fact, big net positives for virtually any human, social endeavor? Seemingly all of the things routinely … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/04/26 02:25 PM |
| 0 | Red Pillers idolize the wrong menThe thing is, you don't need to idolize anybody. in fact, doing so has never been less sensible than now. In today's world, with so much access to information about potentially anyone, today's heroes are so often tomorrow's cautionary tales. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/04/26 02:12 PM |
| 3 | It would be easier to focus on the type of women you want rather than getting upset you cant succeed with most women.All of the things you've described are filters. They take a set of options and further narrow them down. Yes. And it can be highly beneficial to do so, because it allows you to specialize. Generally speaking, the more you try to appeal to everyone, the less you'll appeal to anyone in particular. Like, you might manage to be everyone's "5"—but it's a lot better to be someone's "3" and someone else's "7." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/04/26 02:48 PM |
| 1 | It would be easier to focus on the type of women you want rather than getting upset you cant succeed with most women.Casting a narrow net feels like a non-viable option to most men because the probability of reciprocal interest from any particular woman is so low. A reasonable argument. However, the major benefit of a narrow net is that it allows you to finely tune for a specific audience. The effect is often polarization: more people have a strong opinion about you, positive and negative. And you only need concern yourself with the positives. Consider a cult-classic movie or some niche indie rock band. They d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/04/26 02:35 PM |
| 13 | Women don't chase Chad because women don't experience post-nut clarityYou know that feeling after you sleep with a girl that you were genuinely stoked about for weeks or months but then immediately afterward you just have this feeling like "Yeah...I don't know about her...." Umm, no. If you had said "hours," then sure. But weeks or months? That's a long time to not sober up. Take a moment to appreciate the fact that women do not experience this at all. And that's just not true at all. Ive seen women go through the same quick disillusionment that you've described. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/04/26 02:25 PM |
| 1 | Did you learn and use certain strategies for dating?Not really. That is, I TRIED to learn strategies when I was younger. They mostly didn't work for me. All of my dating success came from things I did unstrategically. In hindsight, they make a lot of strategic sense. For example: befriending women; reading novels; completely tuning out internet gender discourse; leaning into sincerity instead of game; developing a better sense of myself and my ideal audience; treating women like "people" (instead of objects, extensions of my ego, princesses or hi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/04/26 04:03 PM |
| – | Why do you think so many of you guys fall for the "just world" fallacy?You said that women can sense toxicity and are now saying they usually cannot. I didn't say "usually." I said it varies by the factors I outlined. I also said "people," not women. There are compelling arguments why women might be better at it, but the scope of the conversation hasn't gone there yet, and you clearly don't like the introduction of nuance. So, I'll leave that potential subtopic alone. Why? It's a thought-experiment to demonstrate how a precise mechanism can still be imperfect, and … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/04/26 02:15 AM |
| 1 | Why do you think so many of you guys fall for the "just world" fallacy?Of course, the inevitable backpedal Not a backpedal, just an elaboration. There's a real anti-intellectualism trend on this sub. Just because something is complicated doesn't mean it's a trick. We see lots and lots and lots of failures Imagine I build a machine with a 99% success rate. That's pretty good. Anyone would be justified in saying that machine does what it's supposed to do. Now imagine we run the machine 680 million times (the number of US women times the female average number of relat… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/26 05:46 PM |
| 0 | Why do you think so many of you guys fall for the "just world" fallacy?women cannot sense toxicity As I said, everyone can. or else abusive relationships would never happen This is where it gets complicated. The ability to "sense" things in other people is an innate human characteristic. We percieve vastly more, and more subtle, information than we can logically catalogue and process, resulting in vague, but often acurately generalized, feelings. I like the word "vibes" for this, but some don't. However, the talent for this, and specific traits they are primed to l… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/04/26 03:15 AM |
| 0 | Why do you think so many of you guys fall for the "just world" fallacy?It's frequently claimed that women can "sense" perpetually single men to be misogynistic or toxic It's not just women. Men can sense it in other men. The average man probably just doesnt have much reason to pay attention. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/04/26 12:17 AM |
| 20 | Why do you think so many of you guys fall for the "just world" fallacy?I don't believe in any of the above. I assumed every child is told "life's not fair" as one of our first and most crucial lessons. Is there a variation of this fallacy wherein you think anything that isnt fair is somehow necessarily wrong? Like, all the men who think women/social media/apps/feminism/etc have ruined dating because they cant get a date? It seems similar, as though they believe the world is fair be default, but some actual person has artificially broken it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/04/26 06:22 PM |
| – | Just go see a therapist or psychologist.I dont think anyone is suggesting therapy will get you a girlfriend. If they tell you to get therapy, they're saying you have bigger problems to solve first. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/26 11:01 AM |
| 2 | It's not women who share top percent of men, it's the other way aroundThere's a big gap between corolla-basement and $100+K-house. Most young men live in that gap. Some date very easily. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/26 10:09 PM |
| 0 | If you have to spend more than a lot on a date she’s not that into youWomen will break this "conditioning" if she likes you. Sometimes they will. Sometimes they won't. Why is "conditioning" in quotes? Maybe that's a loaded term? From now on, I'll refer to it as our "psychosocial matrix," the cumulative psychological and sociological interpretive process by which we translate emotion into action, and vice versa. This is a really complicated issue. For one thing, we aren't mind-readers. We can't actually know another person's feelings like we know our own. We can on… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/26 07:51 PM |
| 10 | Being attracted to someone vs being just friendly, how to recognize it as a man?There is no answer. Women vary. If you want to know, ask the specific person. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/26 07:25 PM |
| 3 | The dieing off Clubs and Bars, makes dating even worse for the average Man. It killed a playing Field where you could do good by just putting in the work. In general "Approaching" in any form has lost its value, which leads us to a more "winner takes all" Market.Acknowledging reality is never defeatism. It certainly can be, if the reality is inevitable defeat. Anyway, I don't think you're an accelerationist unless you have an outcome in mind. I know it sounds cooler that defeatism, but it just doesn't fit. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/26 07:24 PM |
| – | Bluepillers : Are You Aware Of The Various Contradictions Within BP?That still does not mean it is fictional. To which I say, "typical Mario response." The group I created, Marios, is not fictional. there are indeed lots of people who share that name. The notion that referring to them as a group with a collective belief system is in any way revealing or constructive is, however, my invention. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/26 07:19 PM |
| 1 | The dieing off Clubs and Bars, makes dating even worse for the average Man. It killed a playing Field where you could do good by just putting in the work. In general "Approaching" in any form has lost its value, which leads us to a more "winner takes all" Market.Who said it's a problem? The post we're commenting on frames it as a problem. But ok. So far as I can tell this is just a natural progression of social and societal changes that have been on the move since the 1960's. Not really. The bars I go to are bustling and meeting strangers is so easy you'd have to try hard not to do by sheer accident. On a macro level, the economic decline of bars just means fewer bars. The bars themselves, the ones that remain, aren't dead. In fact, they often get more … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/26 07:15 PM |
| 1 | The Preeminence of Place in Pursuing a PartnerNah, it matters a lot in smaller cities too. The issue isn't the drive time. It's the day-to-day cultural and lifestyle experience. I live in a mid-sized city now, and for the past 7ish years. But what does that really mean for my experience? There are large, populous areas of the city I've never been to. I'm active in nightlife, but have been to only around 2% of the bars. I met a gorgeous woman by herself in a trendy bar last year—when i asked why she was alone, she mentioned what neighborhood… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/26 07:08 PM |
| 1 | The Preeminence of Place in Pursuing a PartnerYes. This matters a lot. And, frankly, it's part of why arguing with strangers on the internet about dating is so frustrating. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/26 07:00 PM |
| 1 | The Preeminence of Place in Pursuing a PartnerThe way you frame the first part at least comes across as that dating comes from doing all the society things as a man. Umm... I think the was just saying that to account for confounding variables. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/26 06:58 PM |
| 1 | The Preeminence of Place in Pursuing a PartnerI shouldnt have to move to find a viable partner. Why not? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/26 06:57 PM |
| 1 | The Preeminence of Place in Pursuing a PartnerIsn't your experience dependent on where you are? Seems obvious. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/26 06:56 PM |
| 8 | Feminist indoctrination is not really effective on men because it is designed for womenWhat are you talking about? All I'm saying is that the first sentence in your post is, in fact, a myth. No trends. No noise. Just that single incorrect statement. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/26 06:54 PM |
| 1 | It's not women who share top percent of men, it's the other way aroundYes because guys are taught the 6/6/6 rule. Guys who don't know much about girls fill the empty space with apocrypha and lore. What if I have 2 of the 3? It just doesn’t work. Works for me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/26 06:51 PM |
| 23 | Feminist indoctrination is not really effective on men because it is designed for womenIt's not that complicated. Prehistoric anthropology is "not that complicated"??? JFC, this is why I need to get off reddit. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/26 06:46 PM |
| 0 | If you have to spend more than a lot on a date she’s not that into youIf you have to spend more than a lot on a date she’s not that into you Not really. I should really sit down and make a list of things I end up saying all the time. Here's one: there is a big gap between feelings and behavior and it's filled with a maze of psychological and social traps. In this case, a given women who is indeed really into you may, nevertheless, be conditioned to expect certain treatment to indicate that you are really into her and share her values. Expensive dates are just one … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/26 06:43 PM |
| 0 | It's not women who share top percent of men, it's the other way aroundI'm asking, why mention it to us? wealth and success can sometimes overlook a physical shortfall. While a woman who is into you might be more into you if you're successful, success isn't going to get her into you in the first place. Well, unless she's a gold digger or desperate. I'm just thinking that a lot of men these days seem to be experiencing some disillusionment here, as if they thought their modest success was ever supposed to be a main selling point, instead of just an ancillary benefit… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/26 06:34 PM |
| 29 | Feminist indoctrination is not really effective on men because it is designed for womenMen mainly used to be hunters, or fighters etc in prehistoric times. This isn't true. First, most men were foragers, as foraging is simply way easier, more sustainable, less dangerous and less time-consuming for small populations in abundant ecosystems. Second, women also hunted. For a more nuanced take, consider that prehistoric cultures varied widely. There is no single model from which we all descended. Many likely didn't even have the same culture at all times of year, essentially restructur… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/26 06:25 PM |
| 3 | How do women view friendship with men?Speaking very generally, male and female friendship differ. Men tend to form should-to-shoulder friendships, based on mutual interest in some third thing. For this reason, they tend to be less intimate and more contextual. Female friendships tend to be more face-to-face, characterized by deeper interest and investment in each other's internal lives. So what happens when such men and women become friends with each other? Well, potentially anything. They may have a male version of friendship, a fe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/26 05:35 PM |
| 2 | How do women view friendship with men?If one is into the other i don't think friendship is possible That is simply incorrect. its always one using the other more No, any individual can just choose not to use another. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/26 05:28 PM |
| 1 | The dieing off Clubs and Bars, makes dating even worse for the average Man. It killed a playing Field where you could do good by just putting in the work. In general "Approaching" in any form has lost its value, which leads us to a more "winner takes all" Market.I think they're making a good point. Even if overall market trends shows bars are dying, it's not as if that means anyone's individual experience is walking onto an empty dancefloor. Or, if a city can't sustain 1000 bars, shrinking down to 500 maybe constitute a macroeconomic disaster, but it makes those remaining 500 absolutely packed. So what relevance does this have on any of our dating options? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/26 05:17 PM |
| 1 | The dieing off Clubs and Bars, makes dating even worse for the average Man. It killed a playing Field where you could do good by just putting in the work. In general "Approaching" in any form has lost its value, which leads us to a more "winner takes all" Market.Where I live Maybe that's the problem? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/26 05:09 PM |
| 4 | The dieing off Clubs and Bars, makes dating even worse for the average Man. It killed a playing Field where you could do good by just putting in the work. In general "Approaching" in any form has lost its value, which leads us to a more "winner takes all" Market.I'd much rather men collectively confront that reality Why? You say you're an "accelerationist," but toward what outcome? So far, you've only described defeatism, not accelerationism. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/26 05:07 PM |
| 1 | The dieing off Clubs and Bars, makes dating even worse for the average Man. It killed a playing Field where you could do good by just putting in the work. In general "Approaching" in any form has lost its value, which leads us to a more "winner takes all" Market.I'm trying to wrap my mind around the idea that nightlife is dying. What does that mean to any individual's experience? Like, I can see the effect on the market: there are fewer successful bars. But so what? There are currently 700+ bars in my mid-sized city, but in 7 years, I've been to like 15. And I go out A LOT. The bars I go to are fairly popular. If 50% of the bars in the city closed tomorrow, I wouldn't even notice. At most, I would only notice that the popular ones became more popular, a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/26 05:04 PM |
| 3 | It's not women who share top percent of men, it's the other way aroundmake six figures, have a house Why do men even bring this up? Do men really think "get a house" means "get women"? It seems telling that men mention their income and property before, say, style or charisma. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/26 04:54 PM |
| 0 | It's not women who share top percent of men, it's the other way aroundand there are only few women who want it consistently "Few" is vague and doing a lot of work in this idea. Walk into a nightlife neighborhood and it doesn't really matter what percentage amounts to "few": a small percentage of a large enough number is still a large number. It's easy for a woman to "talk to" many guys at the same time women who actually are into casual have lots of options to choose from In my extensive experience, women who are legitimately and habitually into casual sex aren't … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/26 04:46 PM |
| – | Bluepillers : Are You Aware Of The Various Contradictions Within BP?Blue pill doesnt share a framework. The only thing they have in common is that they aren't red pill. Blue pill is a fictional concept invented by red pill to generalize everyone else. It's "here's every argument we dont like as if it were told by the same hypothetical person." To Christians, vikings and ancient Greeks are both "heathens," even though they have totally different religions with only superficial similarities. The only similarity Christians cared about was that they were polytheisti… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/26 03:56 PM |
| 2 | Bluepillers : Are You Aware Of The Various Contradictions Within BP?since it gives a framework It doesn't. It gives different frameworks. They may have some things in common, so grouping them together may make sense in some contexts. But they aren't one thing. For another analogy, it's like saying "Abrahamic religions." Sure, in some contexts, it makes sense to group these together. But it makes no sense to call out "contradictions" between Judaism and Islam. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/03/26 07:09 PM |
| 0 | “OF detected, opinion rejected” and why this pov is both incorrect and toxicDoing sex work is a low IQ choice. If this were a valid reason, instead of a post hoc rationalization, it would apply to many, many professions. Most people don't ask or evince caring about the profession of random people they argue with online, unless it's particularly relevant to said argument. At any rate, it's certainly ad hominem. It doesn't actually do anything to undermine the SW's argument itself. Honestly, I'd hope higher-IQ individuals would avoid that fallacy. But, thanks to the inter… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/03/26 01:30 AM |
| 0 | Bluepillers : Are You Aware Of The Various Contradictions Within BP?BP is not an ideology. It's just an umbrella term for every supposedly mainstream argument contrary to RP. It's like saying "heathen" for anything non-Christian. These aren't contradictions because they're not part of any single school of thought to begin with. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/26 11:20 PM |
| – | Social Skills are underrated as a Man, and every man that claims its not that relevant has never seen a really charismatic man."baddies". In my experience that kind of women "Baddies" is a new enough slang as to not have a single, stable definition. It could, as you assume, refer to a stereotype of a certain type of woman. Insofar as it does, it all depends what characteristics you personally attribute to said stereotype. If your stereotype includes, "does not care about personality," then this is a circular argument. In my experience, though, most women who superficially give off a "baddie" aesthetic are ultimately sti… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/26 12:55 PM |
| – | Social Skills are underrated as a Man, and every man that claims its not that relevant has never seen a really charismatic man.I've seen it many, many times. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/26 11:51 AM |
| – | Social Skills are underrated as a Man, and every man that claims its not that relevant has never seen a really charismatic man.Interesting question. I'd pick the charismatic, broke dude overall. There are different social contexts in which it is better to be the rich one. And dating markets vary a lot: i hear in miami nightlife, for example, wealth is a lot more important than, say, Chicago. But in terms of day-to-day ease of picking up women, I see a lot more frustrated, rich guys with mid-to-low personalities. It's not even all that close. To establish a sense of scale though, OP's description of a 10 in charisma isnt… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/26 11:43 AM |
| – | Dating sucks and the “friendzone” is coolim 10 years YOUNGER than OP and it WAS like this back in even MY day lol Then our experiences overlap and yet have been very different. What does that suggest to you about the nature of the game? The "Its literally ALL on genz men" idea let's not make this a bigger thing than it is. My point is only that what OP is talking about still works. It's not Gen Z's fault that they just never learned how to do it. That is indeed likely due to broader cultural shifts. Writing checks still works. But have… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/26 05:30 PM |
| – | Dating sucks and the “friendzone” is coolLet's not pretend that today women We weren't talking about women at all. Sending heart emojis looks sweet but it's just a gesture, not a true concern. Emojis and words belong to the same symbolic order. They're simply part of the digital lexicon. Like words, they can be heartfelt, meaningless, or even actively misleading. But there's no reason to assume they are inherently less authentic than words in ordinary communication. Style isn't substance. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/26 05:21 PM |
| 9 | Do people involved in frequent casual hookups just not care about getting STDs?There are a few things going on here. First, it may depend what you meant by "frequent." That's very much an eye of the beholder qualification, and the beholder is someone who apparently doesnt do it at all. In my experience, most people who have, say, a few random hookups a year when not in relationships (usually only a few years of their young adult lives) just assume they wont get one. And... they're usually correct, though their individual risk varies with a number of other factors, and ther… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/26 01:17 AM |
| – | Dating sucks and the “friendzone” is coolThe thing is, OP is probably my age. But I'm a lifelong bachelor. Everything he's describing still happens and works now just the way it did then, even with Gen Z women. The difference I see is that most Gen Z men no longer think about it this way, havent learned how to do it, or dont seem to be trying. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/26 11:13 PM |
| – | Dating sucks and the “friendzone” is coolYep. It's mostly like that for me and, non-coincidentally, men I know. However, this model of "dating" was, as far as I recall, largely popularized by millennials before the rise of dating apps (and the social media takeover, and metoo, and covid, and the manosphere, etc). These days, men are exponentially more likely to go on a date with a total stranger than in your day. The landscape has changed. The good news is that the millennial way still absolutely works in 2026, even with Gen Z particip… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/26 11:05 PM |
| 4 | Nightclubs are never coming backGay bars and clubs have actually greatly declined in number since the early 2000s. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/26 10:49 PM |
| 2 | Genuinely, if a good portion of women fear and dislike men as a whole, why should men interact with women?Most women like men well enough, in a general sense. Moreover, most really, really like certain men. And there is ordinarily no reliable way to predict which men they will really like until they've at least met. The potential for meeting men they really like is part of the risk-reward matrix they use to determine whether or not to avoid men entirely, and is obviously so attractive that hardly any actually do. The whole man-v-bear thing is an exercise in social media trending discontent. It shoul… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/26 10:23 PM |
| 4 | Why is it that young women are so into kinky sex?I dont think it's porn, just social media. Women dont just want these things, they actively talk about them all the time online. That exerts a powerful normalizing force over time, giving younger women attractive ideas and shaping their basic expectations. And it's fine, really. Kinky sex is just a social construct anyway. There was a time when oral was kinky. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/03/26 10:02 PM |
| 3 | Why is it that young women are so into kinky sex?What's sad about it? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/03/26 09:58 PM |
| – | Experience is the most importantNope. But it's a big varied world out there. Some of us pick a thing up quickly, some slowly, most somewhere in between. And you dont know which you are, or which your partner is, until you try. Even then, you might be wrong, because you have nothing to compare. One of my worst-case scenarios regarding committing to an inexperienced person: person marries their first, spends 10 or 20 years thinking sex is overrated, and discovers a few months after the divorce that it isnt. That's a long time to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/26 09:08 PM |
| – | Experience is the most importantExperience isnt the most important thing. However, it is often the key to unlocking the most important things. For example, good lovers have a high degree of self-awareness, a high degree of self-expression, a high degree of assertiveness (even if they're asserting submission), a low degree of self-conciousness, and a low degree of internal conflicts regarding sex—this is all external to characteristics like eagerness to please or even libido. By sheer luck, anyone might have all of those qualit… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/26 06:53 PM |
| – | Experience is the most importantI disagree. Experience isnt everything. People have natural talents. But so long as they're untested, talent is just a big roll of the dice. Sure, you could end up with one who is all the things you've said. Or you could end up with the opposite. More likely, you'll get some combination. In my experience, it really isnt about technical skill. The real problem with the inexperienced is deeper and more psychological. Like, not knowing what they want, holding onto internal conflicts and contradicti… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/26 06:39 PM |
| 1 | Every single man in the world will gladly "spoil” a woman - if she is "that girl" to himThen, write them? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/26 04:31 PM |
| 3 | Every single man in the world will gladly "spoil” a woman - if she is "that girl" to himThis is simply false. Men fumble women out of their league all the time. Why exactly? Perhaps victory makes men complacent. Or maybe some men just arent that type of guy and, while it's easy to pretend early on, it's hard for them to sustain. To put it more abstractly, there is always a gap between feelings and behavior. Think of it like a medium that contains everything else in our psychological and sociological makeup. This is how two people who feel the same way about a situation can neverthe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/26 03:48 PM |
| – | Dating isn't fair and it shouldn't be.I dont care about evolutionary arguments. Evolution didnt prepare us for talking to strangers thousands of miles apart, but here we are. We see the effects, great and terrible, that it has on us—widespread misinformation, echo chambers, radicalization, destabilization of local community, lifestyle envy, erosion of privacy, warped beauty standards, etc.—and choose to do it anyway. You're right that life isnt fair. But shouldn't we want it to be? The better question is what fairness even looks lik… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/26 02:44 PM |
| – | Dating isn't fair and it shouldn't be.Media at large pretends dating is fair and you need to "just beeee urself" and be of sound moral character, and you will find someone for you, which is obviously not true. What media was this? Being generous, maybe it's a generational thing. I grew up(in terms of dating awareness) in the 90s and early 2000s. The overwhelming impression is got from the media was that handsome, confident, successful, outgoing men were THE default setting for female attention. And that, occasionally, under special … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/26 02:20 PM |
| 10 | Men are just as picky as women. They just pretend their type of woman is the norm.Most women aren’t (casually) fucking dude. Studies vary absurdly. But it wouldnt be crazy to guess about half of young women will indeed do this at least once, or that the more attractive a dude is, the more likely he is to be The Dude. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 04:56 PM |
| 1 | Alpha fux and beta bux is literally so hard to ignore.So, I’m this sort of guy. I have a different perspective on it though. It’s true that women favorably treat the men they’re more attracted to. That’s also just pretty obvious and predictable when applying a little logic to human behavior. But the difference is fairly marginal. Most people have a limited spectrum for behavior they’ll perform or tolerate under normal conditions. A “high-maintenance” woman isn’t going to become low-maintenance for a hotter guy. If she does, it’s more of a coinciden… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 10:25 PM |
| 3 | Blue Pill is an ideology and actually very delusional.I did just a couple months ago. Neo (Mr. Anderson) lived in a crappy, messy apartment and spent all his free time on his computer tracking down a conspiracy theory. Fortunately, when he took the red pill, he actually entered another world, the "real" world. Upon his return to the Matrix, he had been given superhuman knowledge, skill and stats, as well as expensive clothes and any item he wants. Had that part not happened, if the red pill just meant he had to go back home, get back on his compute… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 01:17 AM |
| 3 | Blue Pill is an ideology and actually very delusional.The pill doesn't grant superpowers. It just means choosing to live the life of a rebel in the real world. The pill is a trace program that lets the person to be found in the real world. Once retrieved, they eventually recover and get to use the training programs, the magic learn-anything programs and the magic obtain any item program. By the time you return to the matrix, you're a genius supersoldier in couture. If, however, taking the red pill didnt get you those perks, you're just another guy … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/26 11:28 PM |
| 6 | Blue Pill is an ideology and actually very delusional.You realize that in the movie, people who take the red pill get superpowers, right? Otherwise, they'd just be a club of tryhard, edgelord conspiracy theorists who spend too much time on their computers. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/26 02:37 PM |
| – | it’s depressing that money feels like the only way out .I’m studying to become a doctor It makes me feel hurt idk why Wow, please dont be my doctor. Maybe being a degenerate rich old doctor sleeping with hot young women is only reality left for me The world is littered with doctors who thought this plan would work. Plenty end up posting on reddit about how it didnt, because they're spent most of their 20s focusing on their career instead of developing social skills. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/26 12:40 PM |
| 6 | BP is sex work positive yet fails to reconcile the fact that sex work is inherently misogynistic and literally objectifies womensex work inherently promotes misogyny and objectifies women I disagree, or at least think it's a nuanced issue. I would sooner argue that most work is objectifying, that most people aren't entirely happy with that fact, but that we collectively accept it so long as the worker has a certain amount of agency and consents to the specified labor. Agency and consent are very key concepts here that critics tend to omit from their analysis, despite their position at the very center of modern, feminist … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/03/26 02:10 PM |
| 2 | Bieng a jerk helps a lotSounds like your friend was just boring. If being a jerk is the only solution you can come up with to be interesting, it's an indictment of your imagination and character. For what it's worth, I've seen countless of instances of average guys shooting successful shots without ever taking a break from being nice. Your guy didnt actually shoot his shot at all. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/26 07:16 PM |
| 11 | Why do you think Studys about dating are only wrong in the Red Pill direction?"Dogma" is, by definition, a central ideology. So, like I said, you and I are making opposite points. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/03/26 01:07 AM |
| 12 | Why do you think Studys about dating are only wrong in the Red Pill direction?Exactly my point. Clearly not. I said Blue Pill isn't a single ideology or set of arguments. You next sentence... Blue pill is just a rambling of Defines it as a set of arguments. And since I wouldn't make those arguments, you might as well be talking about something else entirely. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/03/26 12:53 AM |
| 13 | Why do you think Studys about dating are only wrong in the Red Pill direction?If you ever feel the need to go through my history, you'll see that when I cite studies, I usually go out of my way to point out weaknesses, caveats, and alternate interpretations. That's why my overall gist is that we don't know so many things Red Pillers are willing to assume. However, a more general answer is that Blue Pill doesn't exist. It isn't a single ideology or set of arguments. THe only thing that theoretically unitesus is that we're anti-red pill. That is to say, we don't collectivel… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/03/26 12:29 AM |
| 2 | Know any guys that have stopped paying for dates?Nope, cant think of one. Ive been 50/50 for most of my career. Ive definitely had more early dates where the woman paid for everything than ones where I have, at least in the past decade or so. But neither is actually common. After the early dates, it has tended to be whoever makes significantly more money pays most of the time. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/26 01:51 AM |
| 2 | are there women out there that just want sexYes, especially if we narrow the search to a particular relationship in a particular era of her life. In fact, I've lost count of the number of times Ive seen men fumble NSA arrangements by catching feelings for the woman who was super clear about keeping things casual. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/02/26 09:10 PM |
| 1 | Self improvement is the correct approach, but after self improvement, meeting women is still a big challengeThe workplace is off limits It depends on the workplace. According to surveys, around half of adults have, at some point, dated a coworker, and around 10% of new couples meet at work. cold approach at a park or a coffee shop is more frowned upon in our current social climate So, do it anyway. If you're chill and polite, most women will respond with the same, even if it's just to politely decline. I have never witnessed a man cold approach a woman he does not previously know, and I likely will ne… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/02/26 08:11 PM |
| – | Women who don’t get approached by men aren’t “too intimidating” or “too pretty”There may be some truth to it. Of course, that is not to say that every woman who claims it is correct. Consider the theory side of it. Men don't like rejection. This creates a disincentive to approach that one would expect to scale with the perceived likelihood of rejection--the attractiveness of the women in question. Further, there is often an opportunity cost to approaching in social situations: if you hit on one woman and fail, your odds of succeeding with the next diminishes, as you've fai… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/02/26 07:50 PM |
| 1 | If attractive men use women as disposable with all that entails simply because they have options, then logically any man who will have options will behave like that, and others will just quietly want to, what makes a man a desirable to have in woman's life?why? I was just being glib. Do what you like, of course. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/02/26 07:21 PM |
| 1 | If attractive men use women as disposable with all that entails simply because they have options, then logically any man who will have options will behave like that, and others will just quietly want to, what makes a man a desirable to have in woman's life?There is this narrative on PPD that attractive men just use women So, get off PPD? In my experience, attractive men are better to women, on a broad average. I suspect it's because they're less bitter, less paranoid, have more flexibility to be selective with the women they allow into their lives in the first place, and aren't constantly comparing their fates to those other men. Less attractive men may be easier to get into a relationship—but for the same reason, they're less likely to be happy w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/02/26 07:08 PM |
| 1 | Normal adults accept that their fantasies will rarely become reality.Overall agree. Be average, get average results. However, it may be more defensible to argue that the bar for average treatment should be a bit higher. At the very least, it makes for more fertile grounds for debate. Likewise, if a woman is picky and slow about sex, she’s gonna be that way with every guy. This isnt true. For one thing, dating (sex, relationships, everything between) is highly emotional. And emotions vary in character and intensity, depending on stimulus, mindset, mood, timing, an… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/02/26 01:50 AM |
| 0 | A lot of guys here endlessly whine about dating, but only give the most lukewarm effort into actually doing itThese subs are overwhelmingly centered on the male experience and should not be mistaken as representative of all reality. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/26 06:11 PM |
| 3 | A lot of guys here endlessly whine about dating, but only give the most lukewarm effort into actually doing itTry telling a woman she has to hit the gym for 6 - 12 months then show off her physique I actually see a number of women recieve and accept that advice, or similar, on subs where they post themselves for ratings or improvement feedback. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/26 04:38 PM |
| 7 | CMV: “Join Hobbies” and “Expand Your Social Circle” Are very low-ROI Dating Strategies for Most Average MenIm 39 in an urban environment and it still work incredibly well, especially compared to all common alternatives. The relative lack of single people may even be an advantage—if there is even one availible woman, it is almost certainly that we will talk to each other a great deal, since everyone else brought a companion. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/26 02:20 PM |
| 12 | CMV: “Join Hobbies” and “Expand Your Social Circle” Are very low-ROI Dating Strategies for Most Average MenAs a huge proponent, I think ROI is a difficult metric to apply. For one thing, it should not be viewed solely as a dating strategy at all. It's also just a holistic "life" strategy. The return isn't just "women to date," but also the friendships, joy, and accrued social experience. A lot of men struggle in dating in part because they are just generally undersocialized, and therefore not in a position to recognize or seize opportunities when they do come along. For another, how a man feels about… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/26 08:18 PM |
| – | Why are feminists so mean to their male friendsThe normal way, I guess. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/26 04:24 PM |
| – | Why are feminists so mean to their male friendsAs a feminist with female, feminist friends, I have no idea what you're talking about. My friends are the best and I feel loved, included and supported literally every day. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/26 03:18 AM |
| – | Do "rage bait studys" and similar also exist in different fields?In the years ive been here, the most common issue ive seen is overinterpretation. The studies themselves are usually fine, just reliant on subjective criteria or limited in scope, which their authors typically admit. But laymen who post it, often reading only the headline or a second-hand description, draw conclusions far in excess of those drawn by the people who actually made it. Or, just as common, they overestimate the epistemic value of a paper on a topic that simply hasnt been studied enou… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 05:12 PM |
| – | Do "rage bait studys" and similar also exist in different fields?Oh look, a topic on which I have some expertise! So, generally speaking, the nature of social science research makes it a lot more vulnerable to all kinds of bullshittery. Social scientists are, themselves, highly aware of this. The field is full of studies that are irreproduceable, reliant on small sample sizes, and worthy of major procedural caveats. When it comes to sex and dating, inevitably particular, there often simply aren't enough people doing that kind of work in the first place—most c… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 05:01 PM |
| 1 | People happily in relationships: how did you "pick better"?Mmm, I think a unique sense of style shows thoughtfulness, courage, willingness to stand out (instead of passive acceptance of mediocrity), artistic sensitivity and an open mind. I find this often translates to other aspects of their personality. It doesn't necessarily mean any of those things are true, or untrue of someone who simply wear whatever everyone else is wearing. But I think there's some correlation. Also, I'm a really picky, but prolific, dater. Self-presentation makes a strong first… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/26 07:27 PM |
| 2 | People happily in relationships: how did you "pick better"?Lots of things. Some are purely aesthetic--like, I look for an individualized sense of style. "Basic" is a yellow-flag for me. The reasoning is long and complicated though. Conversation is where the the selection really happens. I listen to the way they talk about friends, work, exes, hobbies, etc. I stay away from people who seem to surround themselves with toxicity and drama, and run toward people who are delighted with their lives and company. What's especially revealing is when they have som… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/26 12:57 AM |
| 1 | Group Houses Can Dramatically Improve DatingEh, most of my flirtation is IRL these days. I think the situation is a lot more nuanced than either of you realize. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/02/26 05:54 PM |
| – | Dating older men (like 10 plus years older) is simply a bad deal for most womenA different perspective: At 39, I've yet to hit a point where it's difficult to date 25 year olds. It was harder when I was 25. Im not rich. I didnt have some late-bloom or glow-up. The primary advantages I have over my younger self are all related to, or expressed by, personality. 25-me certainly thought he was mature, clever, charming... but there are definitely levels to all this. I do have good genes for aesthetic aging. In fact, the few issues I've had have come from women realizing belated… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/02/26 04:06 PM |
| 0 | Dating older men (like 10 plus years older) is simply a bad deal for most womenIm not sure it's wise to judge SMV but number of opportunities. Most women consider most dating app options practically valueless. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/02/26 03:26 PM |
| 3 | Has modern male self-improvement become a socially acceptable form of insecurity?Credit where due: that was pretty funny. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/26 02:11 AM |
| 0 | Has modern male self-improvement become a socially acceptable form of insecurity?Oh, he skipped the last Blue Pill meeting. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/26 12:39 AM |
| 4 | Has modern male self-improvement become a socially acceptable form of insecurity?Nah, you can approach women anywhere where there's a reasonable expectation of sociability. It's only contexts in which the expectation is that an individual alone is locked in on completing a basic task that could even generally be described as universally discouraged by the mainstream. Would you benefit from a list of all the places I've met women recently, if your imagination doesnt extend beyond "clubs"? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/26 12:25 AM |
| 1 | Heterosexual women almost always want the dominant, masculine man.Have you ever tried to find dominant or bisexual women, specifically? You seem to have strong impressions about the difficulty. you won't easily find dominant women. There are very few dominant women. Openly gay men are like 5% of the male population. Yet they manage to find each other prolifically. Even without going to bars or using grindr, many are able to identify some qualities in another that fit what they're looking for. This is just an acute example of what humans do all the time: we lea… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/26 11:55 PM |
| -1 | Has modern male self-improvement become a socially acceptable form of insecurity?Now, the red pill does tell you to get better, to be better, to improve. But it also tells you that the best way to do so is by doing the real thing. Approach women. Ask them out. Show your interest. Also "blue pill" advice. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/26 11:24 PM |
| 2 | You CAN be emotionally intimate with your friends. Many just choose only limit is in relationships.There is no necessary structural difference. Strictly speaking, this would be true of any social relationship, so long as both parties keep agreeing to let anything happen. You could get to know your Uber driver better than your wife, sleep with an acquaintance more than your boyfriend, depend on your bartender more than your best friend, raise someone else's child more than your own, etc. As long as the parties directly involved agree to allow it, there's no real mechanism for the enforcement o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/26 03:18 PM |
| 1 | “Sex is neccessary but insufficient” is a lie if you only want to talk about sex and physical “intimacy”.Agreed, but you yourself recognized that the continuation of commitment is contingent on intimacy I said "may." It depends on how I feel. Wouldn't a preference so widespread that's even codified into law It's not. At any rate, neither the current state of any set of laws nor the current state of social norms really have anything to do with what one rationally considers ontologically. For the rest of this, let me just remind you that I never agreed with Lilith in the first place. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/26 01:13 AM |
| 1 | “Sex is neccessary but insufficient” is a lie if you only want to talk about sex and physical “intimacy”.We need a minimum of taxonomy to properly define categories and assign them boundaries, even for discussing philosophical matters. We dont have to do analytical philosophy at all. We could take a continental, or even a holistic, Eastern approach. People typically feel whether a relationship is platonic or not, and can literally just ask each other if they're unsure. You and I dont need to construct a flow chart. We both know that subtle communications are, in many cases very ineffective So too h… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/26 01:04 AM |
| – | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵i do not know what to tell you if you don't see it. I thought that's literally what discussion is for. If everyone saw things your way, you wouldnt have had to ask. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/26 12:51 AM |
| – | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵Sorry, I dont watch YouTube recs. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/26 12:49 AM |
| – | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵This can work or completely backfire. Strategically, I wouldnt recommend it as general advice. Without knowing anything about the girl, or her social circle, it seems about as likely that she's just getting some concerns about you which you then 100% prove. In every other sense but strategic, this is just a gross, obvious, immature and lame thing to do. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/26 12:46 AM |
| – | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵You'll attract men at the intersection of "only likes younger women" and "wants to make an exception to prove he doesn't." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/26 12:40 AM |
| – | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵It doesnt sound like a double standard. It sounds like a variable standard: how much she wants to sleep with you is proportional to how attracted she is to you. It's the same reason I'll pay $10 for a great beer or $3 for a shitty beer. Sure, you could trick me at first by swapping the labels, but the moral weight is on your act of fraud, not me for having tastes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/26 12:37 AM |
| – | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵Q: why should I feel bad A: for deceiving this woman | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/26 12:27 AM |
| 1 | “Sex is neccessary but insufficient” is a lie if you only want to talk about sex and physical “intimacy”.we still have the problem of, what other characteristics separate a Platonic and non Platonic partner. I don't think that is a problem. In fact, I think that most of our attempts at analytically clear taxonomies are misguided. unless you are able to transmit and communicate that "feeling that you can't put into words" to your potential partner, especially in the early stages, that person will never know that you are romantically interested. Fortunately, communicating some qualities of feeling ra… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/26 12:30 AM |
| 2 | “Sex is neccessary but insufficient” is a lie if you only want to talk about sex and physical “intimacy”.if physical intimacy was removed from your relationship, would you still feel romantic love for your partner? Yes. However, assuming otherwise normal conditions (for example, that it is not the case that one of us is grievously ill or separated by distance), I may not want to remain. The putative experience of romantic love is different from the ongoing decision to continue a particular relationship. Would you remain committed to your partner even if she was not sexually attracted to you given t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/26 12:29 AM |
| 2 | “Sex is neccessary but insufficient” is a lie if you only want to talk about sex and physical “intimacy”.I would say that the "apparent" level of commitment is not meaningful unless there is a tangible difference in the way in which you treat your partner. Apparent to whom? To Lilith's point, there may be many and various differences in how you treat someone you're non-platonic with. Physical intimacy is a common, major example. But it's neither the only one, nor ontologically necessary. IRL example: I currently live with my partner and my female best friend. I love them both, but I experience that… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/26 08:08 PM |
| 2 | “Sex is neccessary but insufficient” is a lie if you only want to talk about sex and physical “intimacy”.I said that they do not kiss and cuddle. I've heard it argued by these religious couples that doing so would only inspire sinfully erotic urges. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/26 07:12 PM |
| 2 | “Sex is neccessary but insufficient” is a lie if you only want to talk about sex and physical “intimacy”.What is the difference between a Platonic friendship and a serious, romantic relationship? Several things. The most obvious is probably degree of commitment. However, I'd say the most pertinent is actuallly quality of feeling—unfortunately also the hardest to describe. You cannot have a non Platonic relationship if it does not involve some level of physicality beyond what you would normally do with your friends. You certainly can. Most people just dont want to. Consider, for example, a hyper-rel… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/26 06:36 PM |
| – | If your world view has basically no scientific backing, you are probably wrong.The issue isn't usually the data--it's the interpretation of the data. Evo Pysch is a theoretical framework through which data can be interpreted. There's generally no way to prove or disprove whether it is the correct framework for the task. Data does not interpret itself. For another example, see Simulation Theory. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/26 06:09 PM |
| – | If your world view has basically no scientific backing, you are probably wrong.* "conservative" here is in the classic sense, not the sociopolitical, for which the antonym is "radical." For example, "Where there's smoke, there's fire," is a fairly conservative take on smoke. It's not necessarily true, but it at least doesn't rely on a series of wild, unspoken suppositions. A "radical" take would be "Where there's smoke, a hole has opened into the fiery pits of Hell." A lot of my problems with pilled debates is the tendency for radical conclusions. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/26 06:05 PM |
| – | If your world view has basically no scientific backing, you are probably wrong.Regarding the general principle, I disagree. As someone with a decent academic and professional social science background, the gaps in our available evidence are often too massive to confidently assess any probability of a given proposition being true. We are extremely limited in what sort of things we can study, how directly we can observe them, and how deftly we can fit them into existing theoretical frameworks. What's more, many branches under the broad social psych umbrella are burdened with… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/26 05:46 PM |
| – | Male sexuality just seems borderline antisocial to meThat feels kind of incompatible with long-term monogamy, family stability, and romantic partnership Fortunately, "pro-social" doesnt require monogamy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/26 12:11 PM |
| 1 | Sex isn't as big a deal as most people make it out to be.The figure of speech, itself, is still used correctly. You just disagree with his argument. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/02/26 03:42 PM |
| 0 | Sex isn't as big a deal as most people make it out to be.Idk why the comparisons men make about themselves are always to something appallingly horrific and on an entire different scale, like slavery Since Britney Spears' 2001 hit "Slave 4 U," I thought we all agreed it's just a figure of speech and not to take it too seriously. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/02/26 03:12 PM |
| – | Paying for it is so much better than casual sex.Time is still valuable even when you're not on the clock. Certainly. The value just isn't money. Hint, relaxing at home watching the expanse puts you in a better mental space when you are on the clock. Bad dates with people you don't care about, not so much That's entirely personal to the individual. For me, any social evening (that isn't an outright disaster) tends to be better for my mental health than vegging out at home alone. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/02/26 06:22 PM |
| 0 | Heterosexual women almost always want the dominant, masculine man.The vast majority of heterosexual women are attracted to dominant, masculine men—not to feminine or highly submissive men. While this may be true, I don't think it matters as much as one might assume. The reason is that no man is dating, meeting, or even hearing of the vast majority of women. A man's actual experience of life is very, very strongly skewed by his own choices, conscious or not. Among the conscious, self-selection bias is particularly powerful. To wit, a man who tends to be more fe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/02/26 06:18 PM |
| 1 | Men Don’t Want to Be Sex Objects Either.Interestingly, the most successfully promiscuous, attractive, cool confident men I've ever known have one thing in common: they like sluts just fine. There are multiple explanations for this. I'm going to focus on two. Because they are actually pretty cool to begin with, and know it, they don't need someone else telling them they're unique. Their opinion of themselves is essentially stable. Moreover, even if they know a woman has slept with many other men, they have a fairly rational belief that… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/02/26 06:05 PM |
| – | Paying for it is so much better than casual sex.If you have to do it to survive, it's not consensual. I think that's an interesting point. But by the same logic, the vast majority of professions are slavery. If we're not willing to have that discussion, we have to concede that there is some gray area: we all need money, but as long as people have some choice as to how they get it, consent remains a salient concept. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/02/26 05:46 PM |
| – | Paying for it is so much better than casual sex.To be fair, a lot of everyday women fake pleasure, especially in casual sex, and a lot of sex workers authentically enjoy their work. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/02/26 05:44 PM |
| – | Paying for it is so much better than casual sex.but I would much rather have the connection in a long-term arrangement They're not mutually exclusive. than the love-hate drama-filled shit that casual tends to entail. I'd argue that casual sex rarely entails drama. Most of the time, it's just a case of meeting someone out, having a few drinks, hooking up, and some pleasant chit-chat while you get dressed in the morning. Most of the time, you'll never meaningfully interact again. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/02/26 05:37 PM |
| – | Paying for it is so much better than casual sex.Casual isn't about genuine connection I disagree. Great casual sex is all about connection. Yes, it's short-lived. But while you're building it and reaping the rewards, it's incredibly intense and urgent. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/02/26 05:33 PM |
| – | Paying for it is so much better than casual sex.Only if you were otherwise planning on working. If your plan was to pick up an extra wage shift at 7 on a Friday night until you got a date, you can certainly assert the opportunity cost. But most people date in their "free" time, when their other options are on the order of staying home and binge-watching The Expanse. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/02/26 05:26 PM |
| – | Paying for it is so much better than casual sex.I think your perspective is perfectly valid, for you. However, it won't suit a lot of men because it doesn't provide something they really want: which is not just sex, but the suite of emotions attached to it. Paying for sex is a simple expedient, and the sex itself is probably better than average. But the anticipation is dulled by knowing the outcome, the validation is practically non-existent because money stands in for any quality within you she may have found attractive, there's no sense of … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/02/26 05:21 PM |
| 1 | Monogamy DiscussionI knew very few people who married, and stayed married to, their first serious partner. Moreover, I have no idea if they are "lifelong monogamous" in mindset. After all, they maybhave simply gotten lucky and have never had a chance or reason to trutly consider it. I dont think whether or not you view a breakup as a failure necessarily as anything to do with monogamy. For some it may. But there are a lot of roads to either destination. Im not even sure monogamy is the right concept to apply. If s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/02/26 09:59 PM |
| 2 | If immediate sex is required, then a relationship was a secondary optional goal.I didn't say "a relationship." I said "a romantic relationship." The appearance of the modifier "romantic" indicates that I'm using "relationship" in its general sense--like a "business relationship" or a "landlord-tenant relationship." But perhaps "relationship" was a poor choice of words, given its ambiguity. All I mean to say is that dating is typically emotional, sexual, and laden with mutual expectations, ostensibly pursued to deepen one's connection with another. As such, it is a type of o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/02/26 08:28 PM |
| 2 | If immediate sex is required, then a relationship was a secondary optional goal.A couple of things strike me here: You seem to be conflating sex and hooking up. Hook up only describes casual sex, defined by the absence of an ongoing romantic relationship. Dating is an ongoing romantic relationship. Ergo, a person who wants sex and a relationship from the same partner does not want to hook up. How early they have sex, or how well they know each other, is irrelevant given a basic understanding of the concept. you’re fucking a stranger. Three dates and a month is not enough to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/02/26 07:26 PM |
| 1 | Men should be able to treat women like objects the same way women doI know if it was the other way around people will give nasty looks or might even step in. To be fair, take a look at the comments and you'll see that a lot of women denounce the video and behavior as disrespectful to the man. Why is objectification seen as harmful and unacceptable when it happens to women, but normal, attractive, or even romantic when it happens to men? That's a big question. For a full understanding, you'll want to put things in a broad sociohistorical context which takes into … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/02/26 06:31 PM |
| 2 | What if men and women halted all support for each other?Some individuals should definitely do this. Many of them realize so for themselves, sooner or later. in fact, this is sort of normal advice, for people with such complaints. But, generally speaking, most of us are happy to do things for the people we like and love. Which means that the people who aren't complaining in the first place are also not going to participate in any sort of gender strike. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/02/26 06:02 PM |
| 1 | What are ways (besides sleeping with him on the first date) that a woman can prove she's as attracted to her current partner as she was to her exes?None of that sounds hard to fake to me. If my livelihood depended on all this I could fake it easily I think you misjudged in putting so much importance on "hard to fake." Evolutionary psych has an interesting way of looking at things, but "interesting" shouldn't be confused with "comprehensive" or "useful" in all situations. When we consider, anecdotally, what sort of things people tend to report that inspires them with hope and comfort toward partners, they tend to be quite easily achieved. Fo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/02/26 03:49 AM |
| 1 | What are ways (besides sleeping with him on the first date) that a woman can prove she's as attracted to her current partner as she was to her exes?Initiative, attention and generosity. I'm guessing most men who worry about this stuff have never experienced feeling pursued, having a woman in their life who, say, texts first and consistently, shows them off on social media, plans and pays for dates, gives little gifts, and is generally bountiful in admiration both publicly and privately. Those who have would probably find themselves walking on sunshine. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/02/26 05:50 PM |
| 2 | Guys who complain about “fairness” won’t ask for a hookup because it hurts their victim complex.is just as dangerous. I mentioned, in my analogy, that the risk is the same. Losing $100 is losing $100. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/26 02:44 AM |
| 2 | Guys who complain about “fairness” won’t ask for a hookup because it hurts their victim complex.While seemingly logical, it’s disingenuous for those women to cite concerns for their safety as the reason why they reject certain men, because it’s a selectively enforced one. Given that it's logical, I don't see how it could be summarily disingenuous. If you offer me possible $1 return for a $100 investment, I can call it too risky. If you offer a possible $1000 return, I can justify the risk, though it is unchanged. They ought to cite the actual reason - insufficient desirability of the men t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/26 11:06 PM |
| 1 | Guys who complain about “fairness” won’t ask for a hookup because it hurts their victim complex.Isn't the logical conclusion then to be good in bed? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/26 10:58 PM |
| 1 | Guys who complain about “fairness” won’t ask for a hookup because it hurts their victim complex.So you view relationships as a substantially less valuable than one night stands? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/26 10:11 PM |
| 3 | Guys who complain about “fairness” won’t ask for a hookup because it hurts their victim complex.Ok, fair enough, but some of those women who use that justification proceed to disregard their safety to have casual sex with more desirable men. How is that a "but"? Isn't it just logic, that people will take bigger risks for a greater reward? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/26 09:53 PM |
| 2 | Guys who complain about “fairness” won’t ask for a hookup because it hurts their victim complex.I mean, women do have hookups, even completely of their own design. Of course, one doesn't usually ask for it literally. That would be socially faux pas. It's just, "I'm not looking for anything serious. You neither? Cool." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/26 09:52 PM |
| 2 | Guys who complain about “fairness” won’t ask for a hookup because it hurts their victim complex.It's giving "You can't fire me; I quit," energy... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/26 09:48 PM |
| 1 | Guys who complain about “fairness” won’t ask for a hookup because it hurts their victim complex."Half of them" is obviously a made-up statistic. However, I can at least anecdotally confirm having experienced pretty weak ties between what women on apps say they want and what they'll actually be up for when offered. I don't think that's their fault either. I think that when people put their "looking for," they're thinking abstractly. When they actually meet someone, they're thinking concretely. For some, the outcome is the same. For others, it's different. And there's often no way of rationa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/26 09:45 PM |
| 1 | Guys who complain about “fairness” won’t ask for a hookup because it hurts their victim complex.We go of correlation abd not necessarily causation Ignoring information that correlation tells you because you don't have a causal link is just stupid. Correlation doesn't tell you anything about causation. Nothing at all, ever. When you say something like, "Her present behavior is different from her past, therefore she doesn't love me," you are simply inventing a causal explanation whole-cloth. There are many other possible explanations you're just leaving on the table because they don't happen… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/26 09:23 PM |
| 2 | Guys who complain about “fairness” won’t ask for a hookup because it hurts their victim complex.You would expect love by definition to inspire it That would be a mistake. Simply correct it and your analysis falls apart. It certainly does for most men. I don't think that's true. The prospect of sex inspires men, at least far more than it does women. If the man happens to be in love, he can freely attribute it to that. But when he's single again, he'll have to come to terms with the fact that he would enthusiastically sleep with basically every hot girl in sight, including strangers, celebri… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/26 09:23 PM |
| 1 | Guys who complain about “fairness” won’t ask for a hookup because it hurts their victim complex.Let's say only half of them seem like normal decent human beings to her that she would feel comfortable with...now she has down to say 30 guys that she can chose from. Well, part of the reason women get so many matches is that so many men just swipe right on everyone. Many more swipe right on practically everyone. It's not even necessarily desperation, just an efficiency strategy. We would need a further regression to account for the men who matched with her but aren't actually interested once t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/26 08:46 PM |
| 2 | Guys who complain about “fairness” won’t ask for a hookup because it hurts their victim complex.If they are attractive to some women and are in situation of hook up, I wouldn't call them struggling. Struggling doesn't mean incel. Remember, it even rains in the desert, from time to time. Imagine, say, a guy in a years-long dry spell happens to stay late at the right party with the right girl who, herself, just kind of feels like getting laid. It's his lucky night. But when he wakes up the next day, it's not suddenly any easier for him to repeat that success. He's still struggling, and he kn… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/26 08:33 PM |
| 2 | How hard do you think it is actually is to become a ladies man?Even with covid, there's no reason to believe that has substantially changed. When things like this do change, they change very slowly. The numbers are remarkably stable, even over generations. Something like a 3-year shift since 2019 would cause statisticians to have a heart attack. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/26 08:05 PM |
| 2 | How hard do you think it is actually is to become a ladies man?What you "see" is unrepresentative due to the simple common factor of it being you who sees it. Take another guy just like you, but from a different town, or with a different social media algo, and they might just as reasonably conclude the opposite. That's why we do studies. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/26 08:00 PM |
| 3 | How hard do you think it is actually is to become a ladies man?Every study ever. You can google it. "Average number of sexual partners." "Average number of relationships before first marriage." "Average age of first marriage." Et cetera. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/26 05:49 PM |
| 3 | How hard do you think it is actually is to become a ladies man?It's roughly the average dating career. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/26 05:36 PM |
| 2 | Guys who complain about “fairness” won’t ask for a hookup because it hurts their victim complex.Sure, but it's definitely a lot more work compared to a woman looking for a casual fling. I disagree, mainly because women have to be more selective, if only for their own safety, which is a type of work. Also, psychologically, having lots of options tends to make people pickier--hence why rich people pay way more money for products that are only marginally better than alternatives. So having lots of willing men doesn't equal having good options. I honestly think the easiest position to occupy i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/26 05:31 PM |
| 3 | How hard do you think it is actually is to become a ladies man?Most normies could do ok--that is, dates, 5-10 lovers, a few girlfriends, eventual marriage. However, there is a skill threshold and most men, especially young men, aren't living up to their potential. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/26 05:20 PM |
| 2 | Guys who complain about “fairness” won’t ask for a hookup because it hurts their victim complex.Simple. No? No. I get why it sounds simple, though. I've actually explained this a few times already in this thread, so please allow me to copy/paste myself: "Don't get me wrong, a lot of ltrs start off casual. That usually means both parties were at least open to the idea of further development from the start. However, most hookups are just that. If you try to make a relationship out of it, his hookup partner may feel misled, frustrated, even violated. And I can't say I'd blame them, having agr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/26 05:13 PM |
| 2 | Guys who complain about “fairness” won’t ask for a hookup because it hurts their victim complex.To be in situation of hook up, you have to be somehow attractive I mean, this is also true of dating and relationships. Most men are at least a little attractive to some women sometimes. It's an underrated truth that hookups, especially IRL, mostly just come down to being in the right pace at the right time. Especially if you party. so I doubt that struggling guys have those kind of issues. I've witnessed it countless time, even once this week. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/26 05:03 PM |
| 4 | Guys who complain about “fairness” won’t ask for a hookup because it hurts their victim complex.You can look for relationship with a woman who would be open to quick sex, which I think doesn't work or there wouldn't be so many complains about waiting This actually works fine. I think the reasons for the complaints are some combination of: Men are bad at clocking women's general sexual attitudes Men don't feel they have enough options to filter by sexual attitudes Men don't know how/where to find their own natural constituency So what happens is that men, especially struggling men, will dat… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/26 04:57 PM |
| 7 | Guys who complain about “fairness” won’t ask for a hookup because it hurts their victim complex.Percentage-wise, it’s a small minority of women that explicitly go for short term fun.. maybe 5 %. I don't want to argue made-up statistics. You shouldn't either. Pure guesswork that magically agrees with you really undermines your point. For fun, I just swiped through 100 women in my area (mid-sized midwestern city, 10 mile radius, ages 21-45) and put the results into a spreadsheet. This is obviously unscientific, but it's better than guessing. 47% said long-term 1% said short However... 17% sa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/26 04:44 PM |
| 4 | Guys who complain about “fairness” won’t ask for a hookup because it hurts their victim complex.That's true. There are successes. The problem with highlighting them is that no one counts the number of failures, or considers how much more it can hurt to be rejected by someone you've recently slept with. Alas, I feel like this is a strategy that I would really only recommend to attractive men with options. Struggling men tend to attach way too much meaning and hope to the first woman who gives them affection, then can't handle the emotional swing of realizing she was really just scratching a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/26 04:15 PM |
| 4 | Guys who complain about “fairness” won’t ask for a hookup because it hurts their victim complex.I've made this comment before, but this is a generally bad idea. Don't get me wrong, a lot of ltrs start off casual. That usually means both parties were at least open to the idea of further development from the start. However, most hookups are just that. If you try to make a relationship out of it, his hookup partner may feel misled, frustrated, even violated. And I can't say I'd blame them, having agreed to sex under what they believed to be certain conditions that are now retroactively repeal… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/26 04:10 PM |
| 6 | Guys who complain about “fairness” won’t ask for a hookup because it hurts their victim complex.Do the men you love not deserve your sexual enthusiasm? I don't think "deserve" enters the equation. Enthusiasm is a feeling. It's inspired, not reasoned. Plus, love and lust are different feelings altogether. For some people, they are closely related; for others, entirely independent; for others, somewhere in between. The only way to bring it up is to have knowledge of past behaviour and compare that to the present behaviour. That's not a sound belief-forming system. Psychologically speaking, t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/26 03:55 PM |
| 1 | Guys who complain about “fairness” won’t ask for a hookup because it hurts their victim complex.would just seek out women who actually want hookups. That's a bad strategy. Women who want hookups tend to actually, you know, mean it. That's great for men who also want a hookup. But men who just want sex early in pursuit of relationship, it's brutal. Because that relationship isn't going to happen and he'll be hurt, offended, probably getting blocked after a series of paragraph-long texts asking why she won't give him a serious chance, and just generally reduced to a pathetic shell of himself… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/26 03:37 PM |
| 7 | Guys who complain about “fairness” won’t ask for a hookup because it hurts their victim complex.but as a girl you are really putting yourself out there to some unwanted solicitations if you are that direct about wanting or at least being open to a hook up And yet, tons of them do it anyway. an experienced and manipulative player type Not actually a problem if she just wants a hookup. In fact, he's probably a better choice for it than a nice, normal boy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/26 03:25 PM |
| 5 | Guys who complain about “fairness” won’t ask for a hookup because it hurts their victim complex.We all know these tinder profiles that say “no hookup” and with all due respect, half of the girls that put that in their profile mean to say “no hookup unless i think you are hot!” True. But there's also a whole "short-term fun" section in Tinder now. If you match with someone there, it takes a lot of guesswork out of the equation. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/26 02:59 PM |
| 3 | Guys who complain about “fairness” won’t ask for a hookup because it hurts their victim complex.I mean, you wouldnt phrase it like that. But if say "Want to come back to my place?" and "I'm not looking for anything serious," that is generally understood to be asking for a hookup. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/26 02:55 PM |
| – | Blue pillers, do you disagree with any of this advice?In another comment I have clarified that "less sexual desire" is one of the reasons I recommend it. I don't think daily porn use meaningfully lessens overall sexual desire. Frankly, the habit at least implies high sexual desire, as there is no other real draw to porn. As far as I know, most men experience lessened desire only for a fairly brief interval after porn use, usually a matter of hours. This can actually be a big plus, especially for younger guys driven by sexual impulses otherwise to t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/01/26 11:15 PM |
| 3 | Blue pillers, do you disagree with any of this advice?Understand that the Disney view on relationships you've been fed by the media and most people IRL is a complete lie. Women are not angelic creatures you need to constantly praise. They are people just like you, with flaws of their own I’ve never really understood what this is referring to. It seems to me that, even in actual Disney, this version of female character as angelic and entitled to constant praise is long-antiquated at best. I’m sure that if I really sit down and brainstorm hard, I cou… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/01/26 07:24 PM |
| 3 | Blue pillers, do you disagree with any of this advice?Don't let failure discourage you. There are a lot of self-help books about this topic. If you haven’t already, I would suggest reading at least of few of them cover-to-cover to get some ideas for how to make the best version of this argument or provide some concrete steps one can take. Because telling someone how to feel doesn’t work. Respect her privacy. Do not kiss and tell. If she asks you about other girls you were with, just be like "I'm not going to share stuff like that with others, I res… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/01/26 07:23 PM |
| 3 | Blue pillers, do you disagree with any of this advice?All of this advice can be good. Whether it is or isn’t will depend on how you flesh it out. Don't be stuck in a dead end job at 35 A better way of looking at it may be to encourage them to get really honest with themselves about what kind of lifestyle they want and can reasonably achieve–not just money, but experiences, time, mental and emotional well-being, etc–and get started on making that happen. Keep in mind that a reader only has so much bandwidth for good advice, really. Career advice con… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/01/26 07:23 PM |
| 0 | Why would you treat a woman who really likes you worse?A woman that genuinely likes you and is attracted to you often wants nice treatment from you *more* than some girl who doesn’t care. I don't think this makes much sense. Simply speaking, incentives matter. individuals wills vary but, in general, strength of desire correlates with willingness to pay associated costs. In this case, given women something they badly want, The Specific Guy they really desire, would be expected to go a long way to ameliorate the cost of what they could be getting in t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/26 12:35 AM |
| 3 | With the advent of OF and online means of marketing women are absolutely privileged in sex workIndependent creators. 90% of them were raped when they were children, as per the study I posted. That's not what it says. That figure is of the entire sample, which aggregates self-produced and third party creators. Only roughly 28 participants (23.3%) were entirely self-produced, as opposed to the presumed vast majority of OF creators. Thus, it is reasonable to assume the high prevalence of "porn industry" participants skewed the sample away from results relevant to OF creators in general. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/26 04:17 PM |
| 1 | Men who think the ability to do sex work is a "female privilege" vastly overestimate the *economic* feasibility of sex work for the average womanmost sex workers do not host in their own homes for obvious safety reasons True. From my understanding, most fullservice sex workers make house calls instead. Of course, this is still risky; but that's part of the calculation they have to make. Very few new, independent sex workers have the capital to acquire a second residence/office space. and health insurance due to being self-employed is definitely considered a business expense in the US. I don't know where you got this idea. Health insuranc… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/26 10:20 PM |
| 5 | Men who think the ability to do sex work is a "female privilege" vastly overestimate the *economic* feasibility of sex work for the average womanIf she offers a refund under those circumstances, sure. If not, still just theft. I'd recommend your friend more closely review the Terms and Conditions. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/26 09:18 PM |
| 2 | Men who think the ability to do sex work is a "female privilege" vastly overestimate the *economic* feasibility of sex work for the average womanNeat. That doesn't change my point. I have a friend who works in a bar. Does that mean this one bar is a representative sample of everyone everywhere who ever goes out for a drink? The only jobs in the modern world for which a single experience gives a somewhat representative sample of even an entire neighborhood are those in which participation is effectively mandatory--like working in emergency rooms or DMVs. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/26 09:14 PM |
| 1 | Men who think the ability to do sex work is a "female privilege" vastly overestimate the *economic* feasibility of sex work for the average womanI agree with your general point. However, there are many glaring flaws in your analysis. First, we shouldn't' assume "sex work" means full-service prostitution. Sex work is a diverse field. Even within the confines of one position, as described on paper, there is incredible diversity in terms of market and actual work-responsibilities. Second, we shouldn't assume everyone doing full-service sex work is getting paid a flat, hourly fee. Depending on the clientele, she make make more income in "gif… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/26 09:07 PM |
| 11 | Men who think the ability to do sex work is a "female privilege" vastly overestimate the *economic* feasibility of sex work for the average womanFor reasons that quickly become obvious when you dwell on the question, the actual demographics of escort clientele are unknown, difficult to estimate, and vary greatly between individual providers. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/26 08:22 PM |
| 1 | Men who think the ability to do sex work is a "female privilege" vastly overestimate the *economic* feasibility of sex work for the average womanThat's just regular theft... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/26 08:20 PM |
| 2 | What's your Blue Pill success story?In theory. But that's not usefully descriptive. Like, in The Matrix, the blue pill means staying in the matrix and believing "whatever you want to believe." The Matrix, then, is an entire world, republican, democrat, Christian, Muslim, American, Chinese, rich, poor—everything. Trying to describe "Blue pill advice" is like trying to write a recipie for "Earth food." So, in practice, "Blue pill" is a used as a catch-all for whatever stands out as the worst advice red pillers have ever heard. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/26 08:06 PM |
| 7 | What's your Blue Pill success story?I tried answering this last time, but I'll make it simpler. At 18 I was struggling. By 20 I had a girlfriend. By 25, I had girlfriends, a handful of hookups, even a couple threesomes. By 30, I'd lost count of those things, except upon prolonged, systematic reflection. I did all of this without significantly changing anything but: Being more myself Making friends with women Reading broadly and, at least initially, not looking for it so hard. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/26 07:07 PM |
| 6 | What's your Blue Pill success story?Blue pill is a strawman invented by red pill. It is not its own distinct ideology. That's part of what makes OP's question not only difficult to answer, but frankly incoherent. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/26 07:00 PM |
| 8 | How can dating work efficiently in a world without gender norms?Honestly, step into Queer World now and again. For example, a queer-friendly nightlife scene in a major city that doesnt consist only of gay bars, but of ambiguous be-whatever spaces for anyone. What I think you'll find is that lots of people have largely stopped caring about gender roles in the way straight world does, yet still manage to date just fine. It's not that gender roles are abolished—that's kind of a fringe ambition to begin with—just that they are seen as fluid, playful and not rest… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/26 05:50 PM |
| 1 | 30s are perhaps the hardest years to date (even if you're youthful)Lol experiences like getting raped? Not what i was referencing. Full disclosure: I havent looked this up in a while so the following is the best of my recollection. If you have current evidence to the contrary, please let me know. Rape is actually more common between male and female college students than any other comparable demographic. The women are several times more likely to be victims, while men are several times more likely to be perpetrators. This makes theoretical sense, as we're talkin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/01/26 04:46 PM |
| 3 | Guys who say “I want to REALLY be desired” and “I just want consistency” often reveal that they see relationships as the cost of sex, not the goal itself.The relationship being primarily about sex does not preclude you liking your partner. No, but that is pretty much the subject of this thread. Obvious Lilith ragebait aside, its about men who seek relationships for sex despite not actually valuing the whole relationship-with-a-woman part. It seems unlikely that for so many, the person they enjoy spending time with the most, to the point of total life integration just happened to be a woman I neither think it's a coincidence nor that it's all abou… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/01/26 03:14 AM |
| 8 | Guys who say “I want to REALLY be desired” and “I just want consistency” often reveal that they see relationships as the cost of sex, not the goal itself.Yeah, men get into romantic relationships primarily for sex, As a man, that sounds truly dreadful. I get into relationships because I really, really exceptionally like the people. How else could I justify the life-changing amount of time and attention I'll be lavishing upon them, undoubtedlyfar in excess of any spent in bed? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/01/26 12:34 AM |
| 1 | 30s are perhaps the hardest years to date (even if you're youthful)How is starting a social life from scratch without the benefit of proximity or free time easier? It's not easier. It's harder. But it's better. Also, where do you get the idea that you have no free time? How are you pulling this off in residential neighborhoods full of families? Are you not terribly experienced with cities, or where young professionals tend to live in them? Developers have spent years bulldozing single family houses and building up massive "luxury" apartment complexes with gyms … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/26 09:41 PM |
| 2 | 30s are perhaps the hardest years to date (even if you're youthful)My school was in a small town but the MSA was over 200k. That's about the same as my school. Yet most every attractive woman I knew dating an older man at least once, with two exceptions: the ones in Greek life, who mostly dated frat guys; the ones who spent the entire time in a single relationship. Of course, both groups are effectively off the market to most male students. But I think the difference here is population density. Because my actual college town had a much higher population (not MS… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/26 09:19 PM |
| 1 | 30s are perhaps the hardest years to date (even if you're youthful)I'm just pointing out that most aren't completely inexperienced with women. First off, their experience is with at least a girl in high school. That's the only thing we can say about it. That's not "women." Second, that's exactly as inexperienced as I'm talking about. "Not completely inexperienced" is still extremely inexperienced. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/26 09:09 PM |
| 1 | 30s are perhaps the hardest years to date (even if you're youthful)If a guy wants to experience the best possible dating environment, he should consider a large school in a small town. I cant dispute this part. Though, with some googling, I found that less than 10% of college students attend school in areas of less than 100,000 people. The overwhelming majority of the US collegiate population is in or near cities. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/26 08:53 PM |
| 1 | 30s are perhaps the hardest years to date (even if you're youthful)And again, that's a bell curve. Among men, we can assume normal distribution, sure. The problem is that the average for men this age is not, in fact, fine at all. It's very low compared to men in their mid 20s and early 30s, who may also be their competition. This is why "Boys my age are so immature/boring," is such a common explanation for young women dating older. That's not to say that women that age are much better. But because they're in (what most would consider) their physical primes, it … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/26 08:49 PM |
| 1 | 30s are perhaps the hardest years to date (even if you're youthful)The greatest environment. I agree. It's a shame it doesnt happen later. Cliques and proximity are a good thing. They're a great thing, if you're in the right cliques. For others, it's like being thirsty in an ocean. Water everyone, but not a drop to drink. Once college is over you might be more prepared but it’s useless when you’re now isolated and limited to dating apps and cold approach After college, you want to start your social life from scratch. That's its own kind of challenge. But the go… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/26 08:38 PM |
| 1 | 30s are perhaps the hardest years to date (even if you're youthful)Most college guys look about their age. It's not just looks. A lot of it is social experience. Most guys come into college after a childhood spent mostly with boys, largely ignored by girls. They dont know how to approach, flirt, escalate, etc. Some of the coolest guys that age turn into vegetables whenever a pretty girl walks up. there's a 3:2 F:M ratio Except many a college-age woman can easily date post-college men. Whereas post-college women rarely date new men still in school. Maybe that's … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/26 08:15 PM |
| 3 | 30s are perhaps the hardest years to date (even if you're youthful)and not having baggage Older women dont have more baggage than younger ones. They just have different baggage. Try dating a 22 year-old and you'll find out she's still carrying around shit from high school, or explaining her worst attitudes and behaviors with "that's how I was raised," or hasnt started unpacking some weird argument with her parents, or holds onto some childhood expectation of relationships. At least the 30-somethings are more likely to have built up some emotional stability to d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/26 07:51 PM |
| 3 | 30s are perhaps the hardest years to date (even if you're youthful)college was prime time to be dating as a man. It is for some men. However, college is harder for many men for some clear reasons. First, it's very close to childhood and men develop, physically, intellectually and emotionally, at different rates. Second, your proximity to a lot of women is offset by their proximity to lots of men. Third, college has as much in common with high school as it does with adult-world: it can be very cliquey, you cant escape the same crowds, and first impressions follo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/26 07:41 PM |
| 3 | 30s are perhaps the hardest years to date (even if you're youthful)Gotta disagree there. The worst time to date as a man in modern society is your early 20s. Now, if you're still unsuccessful in dating by your 30s, I can absolutely see how that decade would indeed be the worst. But if you're attractive, relatively experienced, and actually managed to grow up a little, your 30s can be the BEST decade. As a 39-year old barfly who routinely dates 20-somethings, I'll address these points individually. People your age are in settling down mode with someone they have… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/26 07:30 PM |
| 5 | If men will intentionally not hold a conversation while on a date because they’re not interested in the date, that proves most of men’s problems are self-inflicted.Yeah. I only live in cities, so my search radius can be like 10 miles and I'll never run out of options. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/26 07:02 PM |
| 3 | If men will intentionally not hold a conversation while on a date because they’re not interested in the date, that proves most of men’s problems are self-inflicted.This is what I’ll never understand, are y’all dating complete strangers If we meet on an app, I'll usually suggest getting to know them during the date, not texting back and forth in advance. I find it actually makes first date conversation easier, as you can always throw in some basic questions and answers if you cant think of anything else. Plus, if you go on a lot of dates, you've hopefully figured out some how to approach these most-predictable topics in ways that make things more interestin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/26 06:03 PM |
| 1 | If men will intentionally not hold a conversation while on a date because they’re not interested in the date, that proves most of men’s problems are self-inflicted.And the dumbest excuse I hear is “well clearly he just didnt like her We have no idea to what extent this is even true. I think it's largely rolled out as a defense mechanism. The thing is, you dont have to like someone to have an engaging conversation with them—if you do, it's a performance issue and a sign of underdeveloped social skills. Two other explanations strike me as more likely. First, men are often attracted to the kind of women to whom they relate the least. This is especially true r… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/26 05:52 PM |
| 5 | Women, seriously. Why do you have such an aversion to taking responsibility and admitting fault?What are the odds OP comes back and takes accountability for misrepresenting his source? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/26 03:48 PM |
| 2 | N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADI agree. And sometimes that magic number is 1 and you really just dont want to bother trying it again. Totally valid. But if you ever say so to anyone who retorts, "Sure, but to be fair, you only tried it once," that critique is also valid. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/26 03:37 PM |
| 1 | N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADIf n-count didn't matter then virginal men wouldn't constantly be getting drive-by insults for no reason N count matters, to many people to varying degrees. But even if it didnt, it would still be a viable insult so long as it matters to the one(s) being insulted. That's why even gay people will call a straight man gay as an insult. They're aiming for his insecurities, not their own. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/26 03:06 PM |
| 2 | N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADIf someone "tried hookups but didn't like them" maybe they're just dumb Im not sure whether you're suggesting this or debating it. Ill say this: while it's perfectly valid to not like hookups, a lot of people conflate it with not liking a particular experience. This is a common fallacy, especially when it regards anything in dating/sex that is even remotely taboo. People will try something once, or a small number of times, or only with a small number of partners, and conclude they must not like … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/26 02:26 PM |
| 2 | N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADWhy the hell do I wanna be with someone who has essentially traumatized themselves. Real. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/26 02:14 PM |
| 1 | N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADProbably. There are lots of potential reasons. While they want casual sex, they look down on women who have it. They have no expectation of seeing her again. Hookups usually happen late and they're tired. They dont really know her and dont empathize with strangers. Women in hookups are less communicative about what they want. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/26 02:12 PM |
| 2 | N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADThey can find 200 willing participants I read an interesting quote yesterday: something along the lines of "anything that's erotic is disgusting with the wrong person." What good are 200 willing participants? The only ones who count are the ones with whom sex would feel erotic, not disgusting. And in many cases, she doesnt know who that is just by looking at them. They don’t have to be up front with their intentions that much, because a lot of guys will agree to whatever they say anyway, and she… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/26 01:58 PM |
| -1 | Men you’re not mad at women, you’re just scared of rejectionFear is the necessary condition for bravery. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/26 11:59 AM |
| – | If RP denigrates women for sleeping with men, why should women choose ANY man?And this is not rare. 1/5 girls I talk to end up pulling some similar sh*t Ever consider that you have horrible taste in women? I've literally never had a woman act that way. I've never even had one ask for money that I can recall. But then, I only date women I think seem cool. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/26 11:52 AM |
| – | BP is synonymous with low testosterone.Whoa, whoa! You're not supposed to READ the article! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/26 11:18 AM |
| 3 | Men you’re not mad at women, you’re just scared of rejectionDid you just advise men to be vulnerable? I think he's advising men to be brave. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/26 11:14 AM |
| – | LOOKS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADSo literally the most important thing Not necessarily. It depends on the metric of success. Let's say you want a relationship. You get 100 dates a year, but 0 second dates. Getting first dates doesnt end up being important at all. Someone who gets only 1 date, but it turns into 1 relationship, can pretty much dance on your grave. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/26 11:09 AM |
| – | LOOKS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADYou've seriously never heard this stereotype? Confident hot people are considered arrogant often. Shy hot people get "He thinks he's too good for everyone else." You can Google it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/26 11:04 AM |
| – | LOOKS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADThey can if you become an artist. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/26 10:59 AM |
| 3 | Gen Z men shouldn't take dating advice from older generationsMy point initially is that men today have it way harder in dating due to the increased competition. Right, but how does that actually change the advice? An NBA player is tougher competition than a neighborhood kid at the park. But the game is still the game. but finding a woman who hasn't had her ego bloated by all the men DMing her, and hasn't been traumatized by situationships and ghostings after sex, is practically impossible I do sleep around, and date a lot, and manage lots of relationships… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/26 11:37 PM |
| 1 | Gen Z men shouldn't take dating advice from older generationsbut also men FROM EVERY OTHER GENERATION that hit up women are age. Lol, guilty! Anyway, none of what you're saying really changes what you'd have to do. So other than just venting, how does this relate to the topic at hand? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/26 10:57 PM |
| 1 | Gen Z men shouldn't take dating advice from older generationsYes. But that still leaves millions of them in bars. "Less" of a huge number can still be a huge number. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/26 10:22 PM |
| 6 | Gen Z men shouldn't take dating advice from older generationsmost people back then weren't as interconnected as they are today. Of course not. But that doesn't mean 80s Stacy was some village peasant either. People in the 80s still had jobs, schools, social networks, nightlife, etc. very rarely ran into a highly-attractive top 10% man Maybe 10% sounds like a small number to you. I don't know. But it isn't necessarily so to any individual's experience. For example, in any Manhattan bar on a Saturday night, top 10% is going to be between 20 and 100 such men… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/26 10:20 PM |
| 1 | Gen Z men shouldn't take dating advice from older generationsI’ve met dozens of women in bars. At worst, some have caused momentary inconvenience. There have been pleasant diversions, friendly acquaintances, long relationships, and close, lasting friendships. Not one has come close to ruining my life. Besides, the same women who go to bars are also on dating apps, or in coffee shops, or in hobby groups, or in the gym, etc. On any given Saturday night in any mid-sized city, there are tens of thousands of women in bars. Chances are that any woman you meet i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/26 10:02 PM |
| 9 | Gen Z men shouldn't take dating advice from older generations40 years ago, average Stacy only knew the 5 guys in her town TIL: Cities didnt exist until 1987. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/26 07:39 PM |
| 1 | Gen Z men shouldn't take dating advice from older generationsMaybe college and NYC are both exceptions to the rule and my experience is an outlier. Nope, you're spot on. I've lived, and dated Gen Zers, in many college towns, mid-sized and large cities. If a guy cant find girls in bars, he either lives in a very disadvantageous area, doesnt know where to look, or is just a lot more sheltered than he realizes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/26 07:38 PM |
| 2 | Gen Z men shouldn't take dating advice from older generationsIn my experience girls who go to bars are fun, more open minded and down to earth at the same time. Now, coffee shop girls are the ones who Bro, girls at bars are also girls at coffee shops. The only difference is the time of day. Honestly, there's no point to these generalizations. The fact is that, even in Gen Z, there are just so many millions of women who go to bars at least occasionally. As such, you'll find examples of every type. You're therefore right about being open-minded, at least. I… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/26 07:30 PM |
| 8 | Gen Z men shouldn't take dating advice from older generationsIn my area yes. That's too bad. However, if your experience is that limited, you dont really know much about dating culture either. You're a small-pond fish talking about the ocean. even if they didn't would you really want to date a chick from the bar? Umm, yes. You might want to examine this prejudice. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/26 07:27 PM |
| 10 | Gen Z men shouldn't take dating advice from older generationsthey started talking about how you have to go to bars and approach. Still true. the last time I went to a bar it was mostly older people and the few younger people there were buried in their phones. You went to a lame bar. 70,000 bars in the US alone, and you think they're all the same? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/26 06:33 PM |
| – | Apparently women are going on dates with men who ask them no questions backall the way to the first-date stage That's not very far. I mean, some people make it into a long trip, intentionally if they want to get to know someone beforehand, or unintentionally if everyone is just being anxious or indirect. But a lot of the time, a first date is a pair's first meaningful, prolonged interaction. so often end up “bestie-zoned” Such men also often get dates. There's a gazillion of us out here trying to date. Anything that can happen will happen "often." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/26 06:12 PM |
| 2 | Are the women who offer Blue pill advice on here just outliers or are they modifying their message to suit their audience?Online forums are not a representative sample of reality. They are, at best, a sample of the people who feel motivated enough by their strong opinions to seek out, and participate in, online forums. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/26 03:44 AM |
| – | Getting laid as a guy shouldn't be this difficultthere’s bigger things in the world to worry about This line would hit a lot harder if you weren't, you know, here. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/26 01:11 AM |
| – | Getting laid as a guy shouldn't be this difficultFor some men, it isnt hard at all. I'd even wager than most men have it easy at least once in their career—that one time you go to the right party at the right time, or a friend introduces you to their friend, and you dont even have to make it to a first actual date. There are things most men can do to make those situations more likely and common. Some of them can be learned. Some can be acquired through practice. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/26 12:45 AM |
| 4 | The “brain being fully developed” argument is not relevant in the age gap discussionWe do not have to pretend there is no scientific reason. It is sufficient to say that no scientific reason is THE reason for the drinkng age. Nor the age of consent. Nor the age of voting. Nor the age of enlisting into the military. It's interesting, by the way, that this form of argument has come up during an age gap debate. You keep saying "there is a reason" for all of these age minimum. But the age minimum for "dating," is usually 17 or 18 in this country. If your faith in reasons is so stro… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/01/26 09:26 PM |
| 6 | The “brain being fully developed” argument is not relevant in the age gap discussionI’m not gonna act like it’s all science and no politics It's almost entirely politics. The drinking age, for example, happened because interest groups (primarily MADD) lobbied lawmakers in response to losing young adults to drunk driving. There wasnt a si gle study on "brain development" admitted to the discourse. It passed for a number of reasons, the most significant of which are that the US had a strongly conservative, prohibitions government at the time (the same people who started and escal… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/01/26 08:23 PM |
| 2 | The “brain being fully developed” argument is not relevant in the age gap discussionYou're far less likely to be compatible Yes, if we date at random, we will generally see higher compatability* between people closer in age. That's because it's a general trend, not a predictive one for specific individuals. But we dont date at random. We evaluate each other for compatability in pre-dating and early-dating stages. *and of course there is no clear, superior measurement of compatability in the first place. It's a nebulous concept. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/01/26 08:11 PM |
| 2 | The “brain being fully developed” argument is not relevant in the age gap discussionFor the same reason that you aren’t allowed to get a tattoo until 18, and you aren’t allowed to drink alcohol until you’re 21. Hate the disillusion you, but the reason for those minimums is politics, not science. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/01/26 08:04 PM |
| 1 | The “brain being fully developed” argument is not relevant in the age gap discussionbut what they're getting at is that fundamentally people who are decades in age apart aren't thinking about or prioritising the same things This is an entirely different argument though. At any rate, while it is true in a general sense, it isn't necessarily true of any two individuals. Two people the same age often have totally different priorities or thought patterns. This undeniable fact fails to generate the same level of moral outrage. the chance they will be compatible is slim The chance of… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/01/26 07:55 PM |
| 3 | Gen Z online dating profiles have lost their purity because of Social Mediadoes that increase her chances to find the love of her life? Literally, yes and no, depending on other conditions. Statistically speaking, increasing the quantity of people you date is one way to increase your odds of finding a good match. So too is increasing the quality of each dates. Which approach is more effective is essentially a math question: if you imagine a graph, there should be a point of intersection between both approaches where the probability of finding "someone" is exactly the s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/26 06:55 PM |
| 3 | Most dating advice from women here appears to come from an unacknowledged blind spot.Yes, this is stupid. Of course, that doesn't stop it from frequently being true. The issue is that, when true, it's true only by coincidence. Not-looking is an irrational process for finding anything. However, if you're currently obsessing to an unhealthy degree or fixating on negative experiences, taking a deliberate break can help you settle down and see things more clearly. This is good advice and easy to follow. "Going about their day" just means engaged in any public activity with no, or lo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/26 06:36 PM |
| 5 | ''Men age like fine wine'' is a real example of a comforting lie men tell themselves, kind of like how they claim the blue pill isI agree that this is a fantasy for most men. But the full story is a lot more complex. But from my experience, out of literally all the girls i knew in my early-mid twenties none of them ever dated a guy 3-4 years older than them. That's the problem with personal experience: it's ultimately just a very small and inherently unrepresentative sample of the population. Like, another person can come here and say "Why is every woman in her mid-twenties dating a man in his 30s?" Neither of your observa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/26 06:00 PM |
| 1 | Kneeling to propose is a humiliation ritual intended to subliminally prep men for the drudgery of married life.It's worth noting that this isn't as much of a thing in the United States. We don't kneel to leaders, regardless of rank, nor in the military, and have a Constitutional ban on formal social classes. Even kneeling in prayer isn't officially practiced by many popular protestant denominations here, despite Christianity's feudal undertones. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/26 05:34 PM |
| 1 | Kneeling to propose is a humiliation ritual intended to subliminally prep men for the drudgery of married life.In a supposed partnership of equals, why does one party have to ceremonially beg the other ? One doesn't. It's a voluntary social ritual with no formal impact on the outcome. Insofar as it has an informal impact (like, the specific expectations of the individual proposed to), it's really just culture lag and, as you said, theater. Historically, it's rooted in chivalric, medieval custom: kneeling to pledge loyalty and commitment. Whatever knight first had the idea to appropriate it to woo woman m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/26 05:25 PM |
| 6 | Gen Z online dating profiles have lost their purity because of Social MediaAs a fellow millennial, I don't remember dating profiles ever being noticeably better. There have been different trends, but always trends, many of which were annoying at the time. Today, for example, at least there are a lot fewer women doing duckface or using photos with 10 of their friends than in the early 2010s. And thank god the heavy early-Instagram filters have gone out of style. I also don't know what sense it makes to blame social media for OLD aesthetic culture. OLD is social media. M… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/26 05:03 PM |
| 3 | Gen Z online dating profiles have lost their purity because of Social Media> Works for generating simps, not for finding a partner. How do you know it doesn't work for finding partners? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/26 04:51 PM |
| 1 | Men would have a much better time dating if they believed that they were actually the prize.when a man genuinely believes that he's the prize There are a couple of problems with this. First, and most obvious, is that believing you're the prize in a society that doesn't is just going to result in utter delusion for most people. If no one treats you a the prize, thinking and behaving like it will likely prove maladaptive. Furthermore, a society that isn't set up to reward your particular talents will slap you with a hard reality check. Imagine a FIFA star, world class athlete though he i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/26 04:46 PM |
| 7 | What parts of hypergamy do you disagree with?I mean look at any promiscuous male celebrity Or dont. Celebrities are, by nature, outliers. The vast majority of people will never achieve the level of wealth and status as even a mid-tier celeb. As such, we cant use celebs to determine the significant of either quality except at extreme levels. Furthermore, celebrities occupy a super-niche and exclusive subculture of their own, to which some people desperately yearn access. They play by distorted rules that wil never apply the same way to you. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/26 01:41 AM |
| 0 | How comfortable would you be if you found out the person you were dating had “lowered their standards” for you or “was giving you a chance”?I would be briefly irritated. Then I would reflect on whether I've vindicated that choice, lived up to the promise, however faint, that i was worth it. If I were to conclude that I had, I would remember that and go back to enjoying this nice thing I have in my life, grateful too that my ego didnt ruin it for me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/01/26 09:38 PM |
| 3 | Men need to have a certain amount of casual sex before their thirst and desire for it is satiated long term. This amount is unique to each man and he needs to be honest with himself about it. Until you've been there done that, you won't experience the true platonic human side of womenOP is still having casual sex Because he wants to. Not because he feels he needs to. That's a crystal clear reduction in placed importance. You are still trying to argue with me that it's important. I never said I agreed with OP on that point. I only said that it's unlikely for young men who currently place high importance on it to overcome that error without experience. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/01/26 08:26 PM |
| 12 | Why aren't red pill men actually adapting anymore?Some of them are trying something. But for many, it's become more of a community. They go there because they feel alienated by modern society and dating culture and "pills" are the one space where they can vent and analyze without being further alienated by being told how wrong and inappropriate they are. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/01/26 07:45 PM |
| 2 | Men need to have a certain amount of casual sex before their thirst and desire for it is satiated long term. This amount is unique to each man and he needs to be honest with himself about it. Until you've been there done that, you won't experience the true platonic human side of womenOP's experience is that it did. So is mine. What's yours? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/01/26 07:41 PM |
| 1 | Women say they can easily tell when a man is being a fake nice guy, but they friendzone those men though.I don't know why you're single, but that is a "bad people" kind of response, dude. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/01/26 07:39 PM |
| 0 | Men need to have a certain amount of casual sex before their thirst and desire for it is satiated long term. This amount is unique to each man and he needs to be honest with himself about it. Until you've been there done that, you won't experience the true platonic human side of womenIt is quite interesting how few combined social groups there are nowadays What gives you the impression they are few? And compared to what? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/01/26 07:38 PM |
| 4 | Men need to have a certain amount of casual sex before their thirst and desire for it is satiated long term. This amount is unique to each man and he needs to be honest with himself about it. Until you've been there done that, you won't experience the true platonic human side of womenThe women who will give you guys this casual sex, what will you view them as? My own perspective is a lot like OP's, so I'll try to answer. I view them as friends, lovers, or acquaintances of whom I am more than usually fond. Because you guys call them sluts or bring up body count stuff online. Men are not a monolith? But if every guy is moving this way, then every girl will inevitably have sexual experience. Not necessarily. For one thing, most men aren't having lots of casual sex, even if they… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/01/26 07:37 PM |
| 6 | Men need to have a certain amount of casual sex before their thirst and desire for it is satiated long term. This amount is unique to each man and he needs to be honest with himself about it. Until you've been there done that, you won't experience the true platonic human side of womenI think you misread the post. OP is basically saying that men over-fixate on sex as a source of validation, and therefore have to achieve it in order to realize how unimportant it really is. He repeatedly emphasizes the virtue of having more meaningful goals, authentic confidence and self-respect. The post, therefore, already agrees with all of your critiques. It's just that inexperienced men aren't likely to agree until they've learned some things from exprience. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/01/26 07:29 PM |
| -1 | Men need to have a certain amount of casual sex before their thirst and desire for it is satiated long term. This amount is unique to each man and he needs to be honest with himself about it. Until you've been there done that, you won't experience the true platonic human side of womenAs a man, I can only accurately speak about how men view things As a rule, I think we should retire the notion that one member kf a large and diverse group can speak, with any authority, to that group's experience. Once a man has options and exercises them, one day he’ll realize it’s really not worth his time. You noted that the "number" varies for each man. For some men, it's zero. For others, it's effectively infinite. But, surely, in general, most men will hit a point where casual sex becomes… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/01/26 06:53 PM |
| – | The amount of men who pay for OF, or clown on other men for judging them is proof that the "men will only listen to other men" narrative is bs.I always know this feminist narrative was BS. Alright, so it sort of is, but also isnt. I know this sub doesnt love nuance, but this is pretty important. There are contexts where proximal peer pressure among men can change certain behaviors. And there are contexts where broader normalization of certain attitudes among men can change behavior. Both of those mechanism are not only absolutely proven, they're part of the fundamental makeup of society. It's just not every context or every man. In con… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/26 09:48 PM |
| 2 | Male Pretty Privilege" is a curse for long-term security: Give me the personality-based high-pass filter any day.> It creates so much noise that you can never truly run a clean diagnostic on why a woman is there. Unless you're insecure, this is actually rather nice. Because you can't, you don't have to try. You can just relax and enjoy, instead of analyzing up problems for yourself. You’re basically a depreciating asset constantly worrying Ah, see that sounds insecure. The handsome guy gets the "opener," but sometimes wondering if she’d leave if i got a bad haircut. The "average" guy who wins on personalit… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/26 08:03 PM |
| 27 | Women say they can easily tell when a man is being a fake nice guy, but they friendzone those men though.The whole psychic powers thing where women can automatically know when a man is bad, but all of a sudden lose these abilities when they are in abusive relationships is a whole another topic for different post. Don't bother, it's been done to death. TLDR: Most people have this "power." Women's may be more finely attuned, due to socialization, the exponentially more times they are approached by men over the years, and a stronger self-protective drive; however, it isn't perfect, for many reasons, a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/26 07:49 PM |
| 1 | Getting/ finding "better/ new hobbies" is advice for rich men, deadbeats or older men with stable careers.Fair enough, as I dont know how it is in Europe. Still, there is the opportunity cost of being in school instead of working full-time—even if he's not spending more, he's likely making less. Med school alone is usually described as a 50-70 hour a week commitment, considering study time along with scheduled obligations, and varying depending on upcoming evaluations and the like. Just look at how OP describes his own daily schedule and finances and it should be clear that this isnt an easy time to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/26 02:37 PM |
| 1 | "Social skills" are defined too vaguely to be a useful conceptYeah your concern is only to help up to the point that it makes you and only you feel good. You've got me seriously looking around like I went to group therapy by mistake... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/26 03:55 AM |
| 2 | "Social skills" are defined too vaguely to be a useful conceptMy concern isnt to truly help people. This is reddit, not a therapist's office. Im here for short bursts of entertainment. Im down to answer questions honestly and treat people fairly. But giving an opinion, when courted by someone making a whole thread on a topic in a public forum, doesn't obligate me to tutor them from steps 1-1000. That's not a reasonable expectation. Even OP doesnt seem to think it's a reasonable expectation. He isnt really asking, just trying to use our unwillingness to val… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/26 03:31 AM |
| 1 | "Social skills" are defined too vaguely to be a useful conceptto avoid that problem It's not a problem for me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/26 03:10 AM |
| 1 | "Social skills" are defined too vaguely to be a useful concept"Rebound better" is good advice. If you dont know what to do with it, you just dont know the game, which is a much bigger issue. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/26 02:44 AM |
| 3 | Getting/ finding "better/ new hobbies" is advice for rich men, deadbeats or older men with stable careers."Those waiters"? I wasnt talking about anyone specific, so I dont know who those ones are. I was just commenting on the structural, lifestyle factors of having one "job" that doesnt pay you, another job that's part-time, and a significant constraint on your otherwise free time. Med school is great for becoming a doctor. No one should expect it to be great for their social life. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/26 02:38 AM |
| 6 | Getting/ finding "better/ new hobbies" is advice for rich men, deadbeats or older men with stable careers.A job, yes. Med school, no. Med school usually means you're spending money on education, working a part-time job, and have to study in your free time. It's widely known to be a pretty horrible time in your life. Full-time waiters have have more cash, free time and social interaction with women than you for years. Obviously it pays off in the longer run. But in the meantime, your single-minded dedication to a goal makes you NOT the average guy your age. So general advice isnt really aimed at you. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/26 12:41 AM |
| 1 | Bisexual men should go for bisexual women if they miss the touch of a womanLike... we know. We date bi women all the time. Hell, I'd bet a lot of the straight guys you know dating bi girls are, in fact, bi. They just wouldnt tell you. There's not even anything to debate here. It's already preferable. Most of the time, I dont even feel like asking the sexuality of women I date until it comes up naturally, down the line—then I'm like, "Oh, so you're actually bi? That tracks." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/26 12:35 AM |
| 6 | Getting/ finding "better/ new hobbies" is advice for rich men, deadbeats or older men with stable careers.I'm 23 years old. I spend 6 hours in med school So already you're outing yourself as a member of a small minority of young men. Maybe general advice just isnt for you, personally. No need to be mad about it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/26 12:26 AM |
| 11 | Why do so many assume this "has much sex = good" "dont has much sex = bad" scheme ?Not sure i understand the question. But life is probabilistic. On a long enough timeline, guys who are cute and charming will do better than guys who are neither. Flukes and runs of good or bad luck tend to even out to expected values with an increasing number of attempts. That's just math. This is why I dont judge guys who are on a cold streak and dont take advice from guys who married the first girl they dated. There's no way to tell good from lucky, bad from unlucky, without more information. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/26 04:23 AM |
| 4 | "Social skills" are defined too vaguely to be a useful conceptsomeone needs to interact with the individual to see if they are interested. Ultimately, yes. But—and im sorry for loving basketball analogies—you can also identify a higher percentage shot from a lower one before you take it. Tons of times, I've seen someone im attracted to across the room, but because I read the proverbial room and I decide this isnt the person or the moment to take that shot in the first place. Sometimes I catch the same person at another time or place, and the opportunity is… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/26 04:14 AM |
| 4 | "Social skills" are defined too vaguely to be a useful conceptSure. What's your objection? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/26 12:37 AM |
| 5 | "Social skills" are defined too vaguely to be a useful conceptThe average guy isnt short and ugly. The rest can benefit from skills. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/26 12:37 AM |
| 12 | "Social skills" are defined too vaguely to be a useful conceptChoosing your audience is a skill. Reading their response is a skill. Getting someone disengaged to engage as though it was their very own idea is a skill. Knowing when to cut bait and fish elsewhere is a skill. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/26 10:23 PM |
| 1 | "Social skills" are defined too vaguely to be a useful conceptAsking people to define good vs. bad flirting That's easy. Pretty sure I did that for you in your last thread. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/26 10:20 PM |
| 2 | "Social skills" are defined too vaguely to be a useful conceptI dunno, you're the one who insists that I have poor social skills. Also, even if I had said this, which I doubt, that still doesn't translate to knowing what you should do to fix it. Like, the Jazz lost 117-137 yesterday. Without even watching the game, I can rationally, and with full belief, say that their defense was garbage. How should they improve their defense, though? I don't know--I didn't watch the game. EDIT: Or hey, a non-ball analogy for you--imagine asking someone on reddit to just … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/26 09:32 PM |
| 2 | "Social skills" are defined too vaguely to be a useful concept"People who refuse to substantiate their argument don't actually believe their argument." You aren't asking people to substantiate their argument. You're asking them to tell you how to do better. Unfortunately, noticing a problem and fixing it are different skillsets. If I pass you on stopped the side of the road with smoke coming out of your hood, I should be able to say with high confidence that your car has broken down. I can't tell you hot to fix it. EVen people who know will struggle to exp… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/26 09:26 PM |
| 0 | "Social skills" are defined too vaguely to be a useful conceptI don't think anyone actually believes that it's too complicated to explain. So I assume they're all category two. So your belief forming process is "I am right and anyone who disagrees is lying." Surely I don't have to point out the flaw there. OK, so how should I improve my social skills? How should I know, given that I don't know you, never seen you in action, and have no context this other than your brief, undetailed, one-sided anecdotes? Again, imagine asking someone to tell you how to win … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/26 09:10 PM |
| 0 | "Social skills" are defined too vaguely to be a useful conceptIt's not remotely that complicated, you just don't actually believe what you're saying Nah, it's pretty complicated. Although, this raises an epistemology question: If you have two people telling you the same thing, one believes it's really that complicated, the other doesn't but won't admit it, how do you tell who is who? Because it sounds to me like you're just projecting your disbelief onto us. No one actually believes that lonely men's primary impediment is poor social skills I do. I believe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/26 09:05 PM |
| 20 | "Social skills" are defined too vaguely to be a useful conceptI think people say "social skills" because they don't want to have to write a book every time they comment. Yes, it's vague. So is "looks," by the way. So is "success." We take for granted that most people have a working idea of what we mean. Now, certain things should be obvious, like that flirting is a different skillset than friending. There’s some overlap, for sure, but plenty of people tend to be better at one or the other. You might call that “moving the goalpost,” but often it’s really ju… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/26 08:53 PM |
| 1 | Men of Reddit, do you think a man should have an opinion of how his wife is dressed?How does dressing provocatively boost self-confidence It strikes me as unnecessary to explain how it functions. It’s a feeling. Feelings are pre-intellectual. Rationale doesn’t create them, they create rationalizations. It is sufficient for this topic to acknowlege that they do feel this way, whether either of us understands it or not. If you’re really curious, here’s a painfully short sociopsychology answer: Maybe the same way men report feeling more confident when putting on a nice suit. We cu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/26 08:35 PM |
| 5 | Women objectify and reduce men to metrics but in a different way.As someone who’s 18 As someone who is 39, everything you're saying is exactly what we were saying when we we 18. At least some part of the phenomenon you're describing is just immaturity, which will decrease as you move through your 20s. I do think some things have changed: social media sensationalism; OLD and the overabundance of male options. But I think that's caused more polarization than a new consensus reality. The women who care deeply about these things are able and motivated to be super… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/26 04:51 PM |
| 1 | Women objectify and reduce men to metrics but in a different way.Yes, men can be objectified for material things. I think that's a pretty room-temperature take. But... You're not a person to these women during dating, you're a collection of achievements and markers that determine whether you're worth their time. This is an extreme read on the situation. Certainly some individuals will take it to that extreme, in their own dating lives, if they choose to only value those qualities and ignore everything else about you. But most aren't doing that. Similarly, mos… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/26 04:38 PM |
| 1 | Men of Reddit, do you think a man should have an opinion of how his wife is dressed?They can. But that doesn't mean they are. Compare it to basically any other aesthetic medium. The same piece of Beethoven, for example, can (and has) been used to advertise products for sale, as political propoganda, as part of a movie score, to amuse visitors to a subways station or elevator, or as high-culture performance in fancy music halls. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/26 04:16 PM |
| 0 | Men of Reddit, do you think a man should have an opinion of how his wife is dressed?Why should my woman continue advertising This implies that the only reason women dress provocatively is to attract men, not for their own self-confidence, self-expression, or for the esteem of other women. It's pretty wild to still believe that in 2026. f I attracted my partner by being flirtatious or really good at sex, why can't I continue to do that with other women if "thats what worked on her?" It's not black and white: there are degrees of intentionality and acceptability. Furthermore, the… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/26 04:10 PM |
| 1 | Men of Reddit, do you think a man should have an opinion of how his wife is dressed?Insecurity itself has no moral component: neither good nor bad, right nor wrong. It is, however, uncomfortable. If you're fine with changing how you dress to assist your husband with his, I think that's very thoughtful. All relationships require negotiation. As long as you can both live with the terms, you're doing it right. Don't even consider letting other women tell you what you should be making a bigger deal. Do you mind when your gf/wife is dressed sexy when she is out with her friends ? Pe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/26 03:45 PM |
| 3 | Why are men expected to "chase?"Culture lag. It's a holdover from pre-feminism. In 2026, more women than arguably ever before are making first moves. This aspect of culture is already shifting, has long been shifting, just very slowly compared to many others. The men who experience the shift first hand are, unsurprisingly, the highly attractive ones. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/26 08:14 PM |
| 3 | What you guys consider IOIs or flirting isn't a reliable indicator of attraction at allLife is probabilistic. The behavioral you mentioned have fairly high probabilities of being flirting. But just like a bad night at the casino or a rough game at the free throw line, no one is immune to bad luck. Additionally, it should be noted that if you're very young, you're going to run into women who are basically just test driving their own powers. If, however, a 30 year old woman is doing all these things, she's almost certainly trying to smash. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/26 05:02 PM |
| 3 | Do you think attraction is a choice?(as you say that not acting on it would mean you'd date no one) I said, "or dating only for reasons unrelated to attraction." I further clarified that I meant dating within the same schema as if for attraction: for example, sugar dating is not for attraction, but it also comes with different norms and expectations. And what makes people attractive without any prior knowledge about their personality? We aren't all dating with no prior knowledge of personality. But that can't happen, It does thoug… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/26 08:37 PM |
| 3 | Do you think attraction is a choice?That's unrelated to the topic under discussion. My point applies to any preference or desire: asking people to NOT act on it is still categorically different from asking them to act TO act against it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/26 07:55 PM |
| 30 | Its not biphobic to not date bi menYou are not withholding something they are owed This is not germane to the definition of biphobia. In fact, your whole argument seems to conflate prejudice with political persecution, for no particular reason. Prejudice is personal. Like, if someone says "I want black people to have full legal rights, Id just never talk to one," that person is not ducking the racism allegations. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/26 06:54 PM |
| 3 | Do you think attraction is a choice?Not to act on attraction would be dating no one, or only dating for reasons unrelated to attraction (like money). Men generally decry both. Asking them to date men they aren't attracted to, by the same schema as those they are, isnt just asking them NOT to act; it's asking them to perform a seperate, undesired, action. That's a categorically different and bigger request. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/26 06:32 PM |
| 1 | Do you think attraction is a choice?It's not a choice. But I do think it's popularly misunderstood. You cant consciously decide to be attracted to someone or, unfortunately, not. But it seems safe to say—based on theory, some experimental data, and many anecdotes—that our natural attraction range is a lot wider than our effective attraction range at any given time. The narrowing of the natural range down to the effective one is almost entirely a sociopsychological phenomenon. One implication of this finding is that such phenomena … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/26 06:15 PM |
| 2 | Cheating on your partner sometimes without telling them is probably more sustainable than an open relationshipI believe open relationships are doomed to fail. The vast majority of all relationships "fail." I'd suggest you reconsider your metrics of success, if your definition of successful monogamy accommodates potentially both parties cheating on each other with at least sufficient secrecy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/26 08:25 AM |
| 0 | If you’re not the most attractive dude and you don’t have the most “game”when it comes to women, being a kind and caring individual can maybe make up for that“touching you is like touching gold” That's actually fire, bro. 👍 Ill say this about flirting in general: a lot of shit that sounds cringe written down actually plays well when your faces are 3 inches apart on a dance floor on a holiday night feeling a strong vibe. Context matters. don’t just be kind and caring because you think that’ll get you with women. Just be that sort of person in general The thing is that a lot of people aren't authentically like that, dont know how to become like that, a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/01/26 01:24 AM |
| 7 | Thoughts on shy, no-experience men?he looks like a model facially, nice apartment, well-educated. He must have a garbage personality. Seriously, if you're even close to a model—in dim light at the right angle to a viewer who's three shots into a Saturday night—women will just come up to you and say "you're so hot." Very few men can fumble so consistently for so many years to not get laid under those circumstances. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/01/26 01:12 AM |
| 8 | Most male-female friendships are built upon a foundation of female deceptionThis story doesnt make any sense. It sounds like he felt "used" for friendship, by a girl he isnt "interested" in, because he found out she also likes to party and hook up. If he isnt trying to hook up with her, what difference does it make? If he was enjoying the friendship, how was he used? And what does any kf this have to do with male-female friendships in general? I have lots of female friends: we party together and wingman for each others' hookups. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/01/26 04:46 PM |
| 1 | Whats your best Blue Pill success Story?So there are storys of guys who did Red Pill Advice A. B and C and somehow it worked. Everything works and doesn't. It's a mathematical truism that, given enough tries, everything than can happen will. Well, we're a very large population, each trying many, many times. "Just learn to do a headstand and show it off on a street corner"—yep, that has almost certainly worked for some guy somewhere. A lot of RP advice is just obvious, mainstream advice, now with extra jargon. Whats your Blue Pill Succ… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/12/25 08:17 PM |
| – | Sexless men don't exist, only poor men do.I think this is actually more an example of culture lag. If you're unfamiliar with the concept, the basic idea is that while culture constantly undergoes marco-level shifts, not every micro-level aspect shifts at the same rate. For every example of culture lag, there are many socio-historical reasons, not the least of which is whether a micro-level shift is in the best interest of the group that pushed for the macro-level one—which is to say, of course women don't want to start paying. Though fo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/12/25 07:16 PM |
| 1 | Should couples who don't have kids and don't want to ever have them do 50/50 by default?Couples should do whatever they want and can agree to, for whatever reason seems important to them. At the very least, it should be obvious that there are more factors involved that just this one. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/12/25 06:47 PM |
| 1 | Why is slut shaming wrong?It's really simple: don't be an asshole. Every day, you'll see people living their lives in ways you won't agree with. You can disagree without making yourself their problem. The double standard exists for men and women for a reason. For the average guy, hooking up with an average girl is NOT an easy feat, Where this falls apart for me is that the men with the highest n counts overwhelmingly tend to be the ones for whom sleeping around is "easy." They are simply very attractive to more people. B… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/12/25 06:45 PM |
| 1 | The fact that prostitution is partially or fully illegal in most of the world is proof that the world is misandrist.While the state of the laws do disproportionately hurt men, it has nothing to do with misandry. It's more of an accidental byproduct of laws and norms shifting for very different reasons across different eras. Like many other vice-related prohibitions, I think it's also unlikely to last much longer. You have to consider the history. Until the 20th century, prostitution was broadly legal, decriminalized, or effectively decriminalized due to non-enforcement. Read some 19th century books and it's h… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/12/25 06:21 PM |
| 0 | Why is slut shaming wrong?I have yet to come across Without knowing your age, location or general social habits, I cant say this with much certainty: but you may have. You may have come across several. You just wouldnt know that about them. It's not as if most men advertise it to everyone around—as that is generally considered toxic and objectifying behavior, those who do may be more likely to also be the unethical ones. In my experience, which is at least uncommonly vast, the men who put up big numbers tend to be dispro… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/12/25 05:54 PM |
| 4 | Why do women friends share sexual encounters so freely with their sexually frustrated friends?It's normal for people with dating experiences to talk about them. It can be a big part of your life. If you dont want to hear it, go ahead and assert your boundaries. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/12/25 05:31 PM |
| – | If you want exclusivity with a person, you should be willing to communicate that.If people default to "non-exclusive" after having had sex They dont default to it after having sex. It is just already the default between any two people who have not changed the setting. then there's no moral obligation for the person who is non-exclusive to inform anyone of what's really going on. If you believe in informed consent, the moral obligation is there even before you have sex anyway. At any rate, liars are immoral, and so cant be expected to oblige either way. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/12/25 02:55 AM |
| – | If you want exclusivity with a person, you should be willing to communicate that.Is this supposed to contradict anything I said? Informed consent Is good. People should definitely do that. It is also absolutely part of defining a relationship. Even if that relationship is only "casual dating for now," it's best to agree on that and what expectations it entails. Don't give cheaters and liars and out I'm not. At least not any more than you: a liar can just as easily lie while claiming to practice "informed consent." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/12/25 01:54 AM |
| 1 | Some men predominately attract younger women without intending toTrue, but being realistic for a moment: infidelity is and has always been a thing. True, but the rates of infidelity are relatively low compared to the rates of simply dating among single people. This makes sense for several reasons, like lack of free, unchaperoned time, the disincentive of consequences if you're caught, and increased likelihood of getting caught with each additional partner. So I don't think this is a huge factor. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/12/25 01:50 AM |
| 1 | Some men predominately attract younger women without intending towhich is why it is the responsibility of older men to maintain their position as the older, more mature and more powerful one and avoid dating these younger women. Here's how I see it: power dynamics are real and important and opportunities for misuse abound. However, they are also everywhere to be seen. Age, experience and maturity (three separate things usually conflated as one and ascribed, by default, to the older party), are often viewed negatively. However intelligence, income, physical st… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/12/25 07:57 PM |
| 1 | Some men predominately attract younger women without intending tobut when they do receive attraction from women, it is more likely to be from the younger than the older. Agreed. Older people are slowing down. They aren't as aggressive or extroverted anymore. They no longer have screaming hormones. I think there is a much simpler and obvious reason: older people are less likely to be single. It's a point I make often on these topics: even if a lower percentage of younger women like you, there are simply so many more of them available. Furthermore, and perhaps … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/12/25 07:29 PM |
| – | If you want exclusivity with a person, you should be willing to communicate that.Im not talking about monogamy or polyamory in this comment. I'm talking about the default of human interaction. Like, at any given time, you may be attracted to several people, but you're not in a relationship with them. They may be attracted back, yet you're still not in a relationship. You may go on a date, yet you're still not in a relationship. You remain not in a relationship until both of you actually agree to be in a relationship. That's why im simply advising everyone, regardless of what… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/12/25 05:25 PM |
| 3 | When women say they “don’t like muscular men,” they are often lying, consciously or unconsciously.many examples of “not muscular” men that come up in conversations are guys like Henry Cavill, Chris Hemsworth, Zac Efron These are examples of very muscular men. In fact, this is a pretty good list of the men I would reference if I were trying to rage-bait men in general. My guess is that you fell for it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/12/25 12:26 AM |
| 1 | If you want exclusivity with a person, you should be willing to communicate that.Not synonymous. But not mutually exclusive, either. Of the several possible consequences for his actions, she chose one with a certain... panache. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/12/25 09:39 PM |
| 1 | If you want exclusivity with a person, you should be willing to communicate that.Consequences is cause and effect. This isn't Physics. There are no immutable laws that determine which effects follow which causes. Human judgment decides that and, as such, is fair game for further human criticism. Further, drama and consequences aren't mutually exclusive. In fact, drama is perhaps the most likely consequence for many human relationships. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/12/25 09:37 PM |
| 1 | If you don't want to be exclusivity with a person, then you don't really like them.Yep, and they are still a minority, which doesn't affect the overall picture that much. It does for individual daters, because life is probabilistic. Let's visualize this using another minority: men over 6ft. Here in the US, that's about 14.5% of the men, or about 7.25% of the adult population. Yet, if you step on an elevator with several men, they might all be at least 6ft. It's not even all that weird, just luck of the draw. In fact, your odds of ever being in a single location wherein exactly… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/12/25 09:12 PM |
| 1 | If you don't want to be exclusivity with a person, then you don't really like them.You understand that this works against you here My argument is that the expectations of monogamy aren't actually universal. means that there are discussions that people consider this cheating? Discussions, yes. Consensus, no. That's precisely why two monogamous people who start dating need to have that discussion with each other early on. Debating a bunch of strangers online isn't going to help, because it isn't going to tell you what your actual partner believes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/12/25 08:47 PM |
| 4 | If you want exclusivity with a person, you should be willing to communicate that.People should just be upfront on day 0 if they are polygamous or monogamous That's a false binary, or at least a misunderstanding. Some people identify as monogamous or polyamorous. That is, they feel deeply they can only thrive in one type of relationship. Others, however, are more situational. To them, monogamy or polyamory aren't irrevocable facts about themselves, just things they choose to do. And they may not make the same choice in every circumstance with every other person. For example, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/12/25 01:08 AM |
| 2 | If you want exclusivity with a person, you should be willing to communicate that.Is he that stupid that he doesn’t believe it’s wrong That's my guess. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/12/25 12:26 AM |
| 1 | If you don't want to be exclusivity with a person, then you don't really like them.No, monogamy has a clear definition that is quite well known. That's what people assume. In practice, people have their own expectations and practices. That's why dating subs are filled with monogamous people asking infinite variations on "Is it cheating if...?" and "Is it inappropriate to...?", sparking widespread debate. People would honestly be better off ditching thr labels entirely and simply negotiating the relationship they want with their partners. Well, it probably means they're not int… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/12/25 09:36 PM |
| 1 | If you don't want to be exclusivity with a person, then you don't really like them.This is a minority of humanity (non-monogamous) or people who are in casual relationships. The scenario described is, essentially, a casual relationship. Although it sounds like one party didn't realize it. Exactly, and since most people are monogamous, it is you, as a non-monogamous person, who should talk about this. Everyone should talk about it. Even two monogamous people often don't have the same set of assumptions for exactly what monogamy entails. Lots of monogamous people, for example, b… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/12/25 08:58 PM |
| 1 | If you don't want to be exclusivity with a person, then you don't really like them.And the individual belongs to the majority of humanity. Logically, some individuals have to belong to the minority. Anyway, google "Law of Small Numbers." Populationwide statistics become increasingly less predictive the smaller the sample size. An individual, being the smallest counting number, is thus the least predictable sample possible. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/12/25 08:46 PM |
| 5 | If you don't want to be exclusivity with a person, then you don't really like them.No, it's still cheating. Sorry, that just doesn't make any sense. It's like penalizing a basketball player for traveling during warmups: the game hasn't started yet; the rules are not in effect. That's this hypothetical couple's problem: they never officially started the game. You can put on a jersey, lace up your Jordans, step out on the court, dribble the ball, take some three pointers, etc. It might even LOOK just like you're playing the game. But your buckets won't count and there are no rul… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/12/25 08:28 PM |
| 1 | If you want exclusivity with a person, you should be willing to communicate that.Men CAN NEVER accept getting a taste of their own medicine when it comes to their own bad behavior. Umm... no one wants to accept bad behavior. It's bad. If they aren’t faking that they didn’t realize their actions were hurtful to the other party then they’re definitely admitting men lack empathy They don't speak for men. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/12/25 08:19 PM |
| 1 | If you want exclusivity with a person, you should be willing to communicate that.How was she to know it would actually hurt him if he said himself that they were not official so he can keep his options open? As this entire story is a cliche straight out of a sitcom, I do not wish to unduly insult her intelligence. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/12/25 06:49 PM |
| 1 | If you want exclusivity with a person, you should be willing to communicate that.The story provided does not tell us what she wanted. There are, however, two context clues that informed my reading. The first is that she didnt start dating others until she learned about his dms. The second is that she posted "date night" outfits on social media. These suggest that her behavior was a reaction to his, done in a way that generates attention and controversy. If she had simply been dating other people all along, independent of whether or not he knows, I'd just say "fair enough." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/12/25 06:45 PM |
| 4 | If you want exclusivity with a person, you should be willing to communicate that.No, that was only inconsiderate. "Vindictive" denotes intent, not outcome. Consider the difference between doing something you think is fine THAT hurts someone else vs. Doing something you think is wrong TO hurt someone else. Even if the outcomes are the same, only the latter has the added ethical problem of malice. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/12/25 06:14 PM |
| 1 | If you want exclusivity with a person, you should be willing to communicate that.What is there to break off if they weren’t official? The ongoing romantic-sexual interaction, more succinctly called a "relationship." Official or not, named or not, it still literally existed and could therefore be defined, changed or terminated. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/12/25 06:05 PM |
| 11 | If you don't want to be exclusivity with a person, then you don't really like them.If you're not exclusive, then you're not cheating. Can't break a rule that doesnt exist. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/12/25 05:59 PM |
| 3 | If you don't want to be exclusivity with a person, then you don't really like them.Why is that important? You dont date "the majority." You date the individual. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/12/25 05:56 PM |
| 2 | If you don't want to be exclusivity with a person, then you don't really like them.Umm, no. Like most human relationships, whatever equations lead to outcomes are going to be multivariate. Reducing it to one is only ever going to yield this sort of binary, superficial analysis. Like, you didnt even consider that not everyone even cares about exclusivity, or relationship status. That's a pretty big variable that can have everything to do with who they are as a person, the particular stage of their life, or how they feel about dating in general, and virtually nothing to do with … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/12/25 05:54 PM |
| 5 | If you want exclusivity with a person, you should be willing to communicate that.He got pissed that she would “do him dirty like that” It does sound like she did it vindicitively. He finally asked for exclusivity out of jealousy. They did not last. And people say polyamory is complicated 🙄 | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/12/25 03:39 PM |
| 11 | If you want exclusivity with a person, you should be willing to communicate that.I mean, non-exclusivity is the natural default. Any type of relationship structure is only established by mutual agreement. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/12/25 03:35 PM |
| – | Do older men have "baggage"?All people have baggage True. Your childhood defines your adulthood. False. Unless you're having a really sheltered or stunted life, your childhood will fade in significance pretty quickly throughout your 20s. That's not to say it has no influence, just that it isnt definitional. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/12/25 03:24 PM |
| – | Do older men have "baggage"?30+ year-olds dont even think about high school, unless very little has changed for them in the meantime. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/12/25 03:19 PM |
| 1 | It’s smart for a man to stop being friends with a women after she rejects himIt’s basically a reminder of that rejection and that you’re not good enough for her. It’s amplified x10 after she get a boyfriend. If that's how you feel, then sure, dont be friends. But as you're describing an emotional and subjective experience, not an objective or external fact. As such, it's worth noting that one doesnt have to feel this way. One could, if they are naturally inclined, be cool. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/12/25 02:08 AM |
| 3 | Would a man 30-40 who dresses, lives and (in some ways) looks like 25 be attractive or unattractive, particularly to men/women 20-30?Honestly, you're describing me (39). And while im sure there are women who are turned off by my lifestyle, values or ambitions... that's fine! Can't please everyone. They're mostly not in my orbit anyway. I havent had any trouble finding women who want what I want. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/12/25 09:46 PM |
| 5 | A lot of men marry women because they want constant access to sex, not because of her personalityYour argument doesnt really support your premise. women who are of very little self-respect First off, you dont explain what you mean by self-respect, nor how you would detect such a purely psychological and conceptual quality in another person. You may think it's obvious, but it's subjective: you and I, for example, would likely disagree in many cases. Especially if she is good looking, men are eager to overlook their pasts and wife them up (Jenifer Lawrence, Lindsay Lohan, all of them are marr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/12/25 06:46 PM |
| 6 | Q4M: Between two identical looking men, who’s going to have the most casual sex: the intro or the extro?On a personal note, this question helped me realize something. When I was a teenager, I was not getting laid. The way I usually describe it is that I didn't start getting good (sorry, gamer here) until I was in my mid 20s and didnt get really good until I was around 30. My looks didnt change much, except for showing more age (mercifully, very slowly) and actually losing muscle—young men couldn't talk to girls, but damn could he stick to a diet and gym routine. I usually think the biggest differe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/12/25 03:44 AM |
| 6 | Q4M: Between two identical looking men, who’s going to have the most casual sex: the intro or the extro?The extrovert. It's obvious. Half of casual sex is really just being the best option in the right place at the right time. If you aren't there, or act like you dont belong there, you might as well be playing the lottery. The rest is athe usual combination of being at least presentable, fun to be around, and not fucking up the vibe. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/12/25 03:31 AM |
| 1 | Age gaps can have a power imbalance that favours the younger personThat doesnt actually work. Most cheating happens years into a relationship. Even a serial cheating "sex addict" might be able to keep up a trustworthy facade for just a few months of "dating." This is made even easier by the fact that during the just-dating phase, you have to least access to each other's daily lives. If what a person is like in the early days is a reliable indication of what they'll be like for the entirety of a relationship, we could close half of reddit down due to inactivity. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 07:10 PM |
| 2 | Age gaps can have a power imbalance that favours the younger personPretty complicated, since unless you can read minds or predict the future, you have to make the decision to be in a relationship before knowing if they're going to cheat... It's like saying "you shouldn't have gambled unless you were going to win." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 06:57 PM |
| 6 | Age gaps can have a power imbalance that favours the younger personThat's my point. You're the one who said "the couple should never have gotten into a committed relationship in the first place." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 06:53 PM |
| 5 | Age gaps can have a power imbalance that favours the younger personThat isnt what I asked. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 06:42 PM |
| 1 | Age gaps can have a power imbalance that favours the younger personIf power imbalance were really a legitimate argument, we would be encouraging young women to only date men who are short, underweight or gravely overweight, stupid, weak-willed and poorer than them. But it's not a legitimate argument. It's a rationalization from people who inherently feel that age gaps are gross but need some way to justify it that imitates rationality. No one is out there discouraging women from dating the 6'3", handsome, smart, assertive, fit guy with a six-figure salary. The … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 05:22 PM |
| 5 | Age gaps can have a power imbalance that favours the younger person99% of cases it’s the other way round On what basis is anyone, on either side of this debate, rationally determining what is more common? Are there stats I don't know about? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 05:17 PM |
| 3 | Age gaps can have a power imbalance that favours the younger personWouldn't this apply to any relationship where one partner is more attractive? For that matter, aren't women, in general, more attractive--at least in a material sense, more men would sleep with an average woman than there are women who would sleep with an average man. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 05:16 PM |
| 5 | Age gaps can have a power imbalance that favours the younger personThat’s further evidence the couple should never have gotten into a committed relationship in the first place. If we take it that way, wouldn't the logic be that more attractive people should never date less attractive ones, because that's what's creating the imbalance in their available options? Sure, in the framing of this post, it's the age that's presupposed to make the man less attractive--but it could just as easily be anything. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 05:14 PM |
| 2 | Age gaps can have a power imbalance that favours the younger personThe younger person (usually female) ends up cheating or leaving and the older man struggles to find someone else I don't see what this has to do with age. I also don't see where you get the evidence to qualify "usually." I have seen this with my parents and then similar with many of my friends who married men 10-20 years older. Good for you? Do you think your very own individual life is magically representative of the world? For the record, my parents also had an age gap relationship. But it was… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 05:11 PM |
| 1 | Some Women Are So Obsessed With Older Men That It Makes You Wonder . . .It'll depend on the relationship Doesn't every (consenting, adult) relationship "depend on the relationship"? Bc sometimes there's financial abuse or control issues. Of course there is. It's easy to imagine and, even if we can't imagine, innumerable anecdotes. And wealth is a lot more material than age/experience/etc. Yet income gap relationships aren't widely treated as inherently predatory. Obviously the older person has had more time to be in the workforce, so they'll have more time to make m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 05:02 PM |
| 1 | Some Women Are So Obsessed With Older Men That It Makes You Wonder . . .That argument is very frequently made. And how is it answered? Seriously, what's the best version of the argument that income gap relationships are ok, despite their obvious power imbalance and potential for abuse, or the innumerable anecdotes of women who have suffered because of them? Where are the throngs of people calling wealthy men predators for dating below their tax bracket? One of the main criticisms of passport bro culture for example. Sure, but those are extreme examples. Wealthy men … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 04:45 PM |
| – | "But I know so many ugly guys who are married !"Without realizing that is exactly what red and black pilers also say. They just call them beta buxxers, who Yes, they've made up a term to summarily dismiss any evidence that contradicts their preexisting belief. Its Confirmation Bias 101. Why should the rest of us take that seriously? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 04:38 PM |
| 1 | Some Women Are So Obsessed With Older Men That It Makes You Wonder . . .Isn't dating anyone emotionally unavailable who doesn't treat you well and you cant relate to a waste of time, regardless of age? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/25 11:22 PM |
| 1 | Some Women Are So Obsessed With Older Men That It Makes You Wonder . . .Because at least they would be peers where they have similar life experiences. Given the outcomes, that seems about as relevant as hoping the brass on the Titanic was nice and polished. Grown men dating young women and wasting their time is gross I would think wasting an older woman's time would be more reprehensible, seeing as they have less to spare. Besides, time wasted by a young man is not some different currency, traded at a more favorable rate. Again, I ask what difference does it make? Y… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/25 11:04 PM |
| 1 | Some Women Are So Obsessed With Older Men That It Makes You Wonder . . .all of this happened in a span of 3 months and he didn’t claim her on social media until he was living with her which all happened within 3 months. I didn't know that. But I also don't see what difference it makes to the topic at hand. Your other anecdote happened over 10 years, so both short and long durational relationships seem to have ended up in the same boat. She would have been better off doing that with a man her own age Better off how? That's what I was asking you in the first place: as… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/25 10:07 PM |
| 1 | Some Women Are So Obsessed With Older Men That It Makes You Wonder . . .No one even cares that much about age-gap among normal non-famous people honestly. As a 39 year-old dating 20-somethings women, I actually have taken quite a bit of shit for it. You're right that it hasn't stopped me. But it has had some real-world consequences. So I don’t know why guys obsess over that concept as if every older man would be pulling 20 year olds if it wasn’t for Reddit feminists I agree that it is probably just a fantasy for many of these guys. However, it is also reasonable to … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/25 09:45 PM |
| 2 | Some Women Are So Obsessed With Older Men That It Makes You Wonder . . .I’m going mostly by this sub, not an algorithm Don't you think that's probably an even stronger sampling bias, or that men who post here might be doing so in reaction to things they've encountered anywhere else? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/25 09:25 PM |
| 1 | Some Women Are So Obsessed With Older Men That It Makes You Wonder . . .You said, "You started it." I started nothing. Don't you think it's kinda weird to directly address one person when you're talking to someone else? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/25 09:22 PM |
| 0 | Some Women Are So Obsessed With Older Men That It Makes You Wonder . . .The apartment was HERs in her name and he moved in lmao that was not his apartment If he lived there by mutual consent, it was. She had the legal right to withdraw her consent, but that isn't what you described. You said "roommates." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/25 09:19 PM |
| 1 | Some Women Are So Obsessed With Older Men That It Makes You Wonder . . .nono, I was referring to the original topic of this post Since I'm not OP, why were you directing it at me? Or did you just elect me to speak for "men"? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/25 09:16 PM |
| 1 | Some Women Are So Obsessed With Older Men That It Makes You Wonder . . .Are you asking whether men who were the same age I am now hit on me when I was a preteen? Yep. If so: yes. But 39 year-old men don't give you the ick to this day? That's what I'm saying isn't entirely rational. If the source of your ick is the inappropriate behavior of men of a certain age, how does your own age increasingly exclude men from it? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/25 09:15 PM |
| 1 | Some Women Are So Obsessed With Older Men That It Makes You Wonder . . .yeah and that's creepy af You're entitled to your opinion. But since you didn't state it in the prior comment, that opinion really isn't what I was responding to. I didn't say anything. You started it I was replying to your comment... Men, if you don't want women to give an opinion, don't post about it on a public forum Are you confusing me with someone else? I haven't said a word of complaint. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/25 09:09 PM |
| 1 | Some Women Are So Obsessed With Older Men That It Makes You Wonder . . .But what makes all these age-gap posts cringe in my opinion is when they spend all their time whining about it when if they really had the option to do in the first place, they’d just do it. Isn't this whole sub cringe, then? I mean, we don't have to argue about any of this stuff. We could just go live our lives. Most of the posts here are generated by men who aren't having success in whatever aspect of dating they wish would change. If they actually had super hot 20 year old women throwing them… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/25 09:06 PM |
| 1 | Some Women Are So Obsessed With Older Men That It Makes You Wonder . . .But can't we say the same about men here obsessed by age gaps? Umm, yes. It's not a secret or a gotcha. We want to date younger women sometimes. That's the point. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/25 09:01 PM |
| 2 | Some Women Are So Obsessed With Older Men That It Makes You Wonder . . .No, I just don't understand why a young woman would sacrifice raw physical attraction and youthful energy just so she can bounce on some old dudes half limp cock while trying to ignore his receding hairline. Most older men who successfully date younger women are pretty attractive, fit and charismatic, qualities that make a man good at dating at any age. They also tend to be more accomplished, knowledgeable, and emotionally stable, as these are qualities that usually take time to cultivate. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/25 08:57 PM |
| 0 | Some Women Are So Obsessed With Older Men That It Makes You Wonder . . .I can't write a check big enough to see without a microscope, but have much easier time with women than when I was rich-ish and uncool. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/25 08:53 PM |
| 0 | Some Women Are So Obsessed With Older Men That It Makes You Wonder . . .You aren't getting hit on by 39 year-olds when you were a preteen? Cause you're implying that men your own age don't give you the same ick. I'm in no way criticizing you for having whatever icks you have. Icks are just feelings and don't have to be rational. It's just that everything else sounds like a post-hoc rationalization, which then stops making sense. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/25 08:49 PM |
| 2 | Some Women Are So Obsessed With Older Men That It Makes You Wonder . . .I know a 21 year old girl who moved a divorced father who lived at home with his mom into her apartment. They broke up within the honeymoon phase quickly I'd be surprised if you didn't know more young women who've done this with young men. I certainly do. After all, what age group is more likely to live with their parents in the first place? What age group's relationships are notably more volatile? and then he brought other women over to her place. Well, you said they're roommates, so it's his p… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/25 08:46 PM |
| 1 | Some Women Are So Obsessed With Older Men That It Makes You Wonder . . .If this were the case, then there would be a lot more marriages and relationships with an age gap of 10 or more years, but there aren't. Not necessarily. There are lots of confounding variables: for example, social pressure, the proximity to older men, the availability of older men, compatibility issues independent of attraction, and whether older men "love" them back. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/25 08:39 PM |
| -1 | Some Women Are So Obsessed With Older Men That It Makes You Wonder . . .theyre in better condition physically and have better skin and more stamina. All of these things are conditional and, generally, reflective of effort. Would it be accurate to say you have no age preference, just fitness and skincare ones? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/25 08:33 PM |
| 5 | Some Women Are So Obsessed With Older Men That It Makes You Wonder . . .And really in all cases, it always seems to be men who bring it up first. It’s always “Why are women against age gap relationships?” very rarely “I’m a woman and here’s why I’m against age gap relationships.” We clearly have different social media algorithms... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/25 08:25 PM |
| 4 | Some Women Are So Obsessed With Older Men That It Makes You Wonder . . .I said "income gap relationships," not "income gap." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/25 07:03 PM |
| 10 | Some Women Are So Obsessed With Older Men That It Makes You Wonder . . .understand the power differential. It's notable that I never hear this argument against income gap relationships. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/25 06:57 PM |
| 1 | Some Women Are So Obsessed With Older Men That It Makes You Wonder . . .I'd wager it's daddy issues sometimes Everything is daddy issues sometimes. Parents are kind of big deal. Like the attraction in parts come from the fantasy of being welcomed up to some imagined higher adult level. Or the inverse of that, to be allowed to infantilize oneself. Those aren't daddy issues, but I agree that both those things do happen. Those are the ones who can't hack adulting on their own. That isnt necessarily true. Some can and just dont want to. Some can and want to, but just en… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/25 06:55 PM |
| 2 | There needs to be a global deconstruction of the dating and couple system put in place to make it fairerOn another note, the system is changing, and has always been changing, and will probably never be done changing. Consider the sexual revolution or, more recently, the rise of non-monogamy: not just polyamory, but also FWBs, situationships, hookup culture, and everything else our ancestors wouldnt have recognized. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/25 06:48 PM |
| 6 | There needs to be a global deconstruction of the dating and couple system put in place to make it fairerThis isn't fair It isnt. Nor does it need to be. Divorce and breakup rose for the last 15 The divorce rate steadily dropped since 2010. I dont know about the "breakup" rate, and can easily imagine several reasons why it would be difficult to even attempt to measure accurately. Replacing the chase with mutual seeking via modes or way to show what you're seeking/accessibility on the dating scene for example I have no idea what this means. Like a Stoplight party? Or, like what every dating app alre… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/25 06:43 PM |
| 1 | The Top 10% Illusion: Why Dating Apps Still Suck for Attractive Men (as a 10% user)All the time. Im bi and live with two 20-something women. "Oh hey, he's hot 📲" is a pretty common conversation piece at our house. But more to the point, it's just a stereotype that men, or women, only use OLD as some kind of last resort. Many people simply use it as a supplement to their dating lives, not a replacement for bad ones. As such, there are tons of hot people on them at any given time, particularly in large markets. Every attractive, availible guy i know who does well with women IRL … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/12/25 10:48 PM |
| 1 | The Top 10% Illusion: Why Dating Apps Still Suck for Attractive Men (as a 10% user)This provably false, and just kind of mean-spirited... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/12/25 08:48 PM |
| 1 | The Top 10% Illusion: Why Dating Apps Still Suck for Attractive Men (as a 10% user)This raises some rare questions. One of which is something like "How do we define success, or ease?" 27% is a good batting average in baseball. 50% is good for the NBA. 60-70% will pass a class in college. What's the standard supposed to be in dating? Guys who are objectively good-looking and pulling 15-20 new matches a day still get ghosted regularly, still lose momentum, and still get filtered out before a date happens. In my experience, this happens to women too, especially "typical" ones. Yo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/12/25 08:34 PM |
| 3 | Slutcon - a training camp for learning how to flirt, etcThe idea that a person can take classes, get informed training, and practice under guidance to improve at literally anything is, in fact, one of the core and universal foundations of society. There's no reason this shouldn't be a thing. However, the problem with stuff like this is that there is rarely any objective way to determine whether it's actually any good. It's not like a university with national accreditation, peer-reviwed papers and thousands upon thousands of alumni throughout the fiel… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/12/25 08:33 PM |
| 1 | Why do women advice men that if they want a great sex life, they should marry a promiscuous woman? Why does a man need to MARRY a promiscuous woman to benefit from her sexual experience and high libido?I don't believe you are this dense There's really no need to be rude... OP asked about marriage, not just sex. You said, "If im advising men how to have a great sex life[...]" And you'll notice that I havent actually criticized your advice. The idea I need to have slammed sausage to have come up with anything I said or validate it is ludicrous. If it's so ludicrous, perhaps you shouldn't have cited being good at sex in your initial comment. The inclusion seems to imply that you thought personal … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/12/25 08:13 PM |
| 0 | Why do women advice men that if they want a great sex life, they should marry a promiscuous woman? Why does a man need to MARRY a promiscuous woman to benefit from her sexual experience and high libido?Ok. But you just wrote a thoughtful little essay giving sex advice to a total stranger. So unless you're inviting them to sleep with you or your husband, this is one occasion where other people's reviews might matter... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/12/25 07:54 PM |
| 1 | Why do women advice men that if they want a great sex life, they should marry a promiscuous woman? Why does a man need to MARRY a promiscuous woman to benefit from her sexual experience and high libido?I'd say now I'm great at it No offense, because im happy for you, but this is a lot like thinking you're "great" at a video game you've never played online. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/12/25 06:47 PM |
| 2 | Why do women advice men that if they want a great sex life, they should marry a promiscuous woman? Why does a man need to MARRY a promiscuous woman to benefit from her sexual experience and high libido?So why wouldn't I just have casual sex with sexually promiscuous women and become promiscuous myself? If you could, you wouldnt be here whining. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/12/25 06:43 PM |
| 1 | Why do women advice men that if they want a great sex life, they should marry a promiscuous woman? Why does a man need to MARRY a promiscuous woman to benefit from her sexual experience and high libido?I see this brought up when men say they want a virgin wife and an incredible from the start sex life. And for the 1st pick in the NBA draft the Detroit Pistons select: dude who has never played basketball! General Manager Trajan Langdon: "He doesnt know enough to know how bad we are and we can probably just teach him to play like we want." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/12/25 06:40 PM |
| 4 | Why do women advice men that if they want a great sex life, they should marry a promiscuous woman? Why does a man need to MARRY a promiscuous woman to benefit from her sexual experience and high libido?Literally every girls boyfriend / lover / situationship is with a guy who's 2 - 4 points above her? You realize this makes no mathematical sense, except under the assumption that men are, in general, much better looking than women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/12/25 06:33 PM |
| 1 | No one will force you to pay for dates if you don't want toOr only if you want people that are ideologically opposed to paying on the first date or something and would absolutely hate being with anyone else. No, a more normal perspective is simply not caring much either way. those women" just mean the vast majority of women who think it shows interest and that it's just part of the courting. Ok. That's fine. Men dont need to try to attract most women all the time. Men need to maximally attract one woman each time. Choosing a woman who shares your perspe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/12/25 06:51 PM |
| 1 | Why are Red Pillers so obsessed with status?Seems to be suggesting the opposite of what you are saying..... Definitely not. Google definition for law of large numbers: "as the number of trials of a random process increases, the average of the results will get closer and closer to the expected value" There are two keywords here: The first "large." You aren't considering what a large sample of a very large population actually requires. It's not going to be 5, or 10, or 100. To reach a statistically significant sample size of women, you're g… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/12/25 05:55 PM |
| 1 | Why are Red Pillers so obsessed with status?That men should just ignore how much women care about money? More that everyone should take stats with a big grain of salt. They mean almost nothing to our actual lives, most of the time. Dating is not a statistically random or representative activity, so population-wide stats simply aren't predictive of any individual's experience. That's just a basic fact of how the math works. Google "law of large numbers" for a more comprehensive explanation. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/12/25 04:58 PM |
| 4 | No one will force you to pay for dates if you don't want toTrue. But this is the sort of advice that can only be appreciated by men with a somewhat decent dating life. This sub oversamples men who are really struggling, even desperate, as well as those who have effectively given up. The issue that creates is that they view their likely dating pool as so small that anything further limiting is a potential death sentence. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/12/25 04:42 PM |
| 6 | No one will force you to pay for dates if you don't want toIf someone doesn't pay for dates they are drastically reducing the pool of potential romantic prospects Sure. But if you dont want to pay for dates, then reducing your pool to women who share your values may be in your best interests. Some men honestly like paying. Maybe it's good for their egos or just feels like the right thing to do. Those are the men who should date women who expect them to pay. Everyone else should avoid those women, lest they end up in a relationship that requires them to … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/12/25 04:33 PM |
| 0 | Why are Red Pillers so obsessed with status?We dont date stats. We date individuals. Even if you put up 99th percentile numbers, your sample of the female population will be far to small to wind up statistically representative. Your own choices are much more deterministic of your outcomes than what any study can say. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/12/25 04:22 PM |
| – | Current dating is unfair for men because of woman have rid themselves of the responsibility that comes with the privileges they have, while men still have to still take on the responsibilities of theirsThat’s like saying, why don’t woman just provide for men, anyone can provide for anyone Not sure what I said that is supposedly like this. If you mean the sex thing, I dont see a similarity. Assuming two people want to have sex, no one actually needs to stop it. Their immediate interests are aligned. While when it comes to providing, interests may not be aligned: someone may have to something they dont want to do, or just avoid the relationship entirely. This mathematically does not make sense. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/12/25 11:33 PM |
| 7 | Women complain about men lacking commitment, yet society allows women to always have one foot out the door while putting all the risk on men if they do commitdivorce doesn't carry the same stigma, let alone relationship breakups. Like several other commenter, im wondering what stigma you're even talking about. Divorce is very common. Unmarried relationships end much more commonly than that. Outside of smaller conservative communities or perhaps extra annoying relatives, society at large just doesnt care. Nor, by the way, are you required to care what other people think. Again, there are niche exceptions, but society doesnt really have the strong enfo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/12/25 09:33 PM |
| – | Current dating is unfair for men because of woman have rid themselves of the responsibility that comes with the privileges they have, while men still have to still take on the responsibilities of theirsBut because men have never had the privilege of being the gatekeepers of sex, the responsibility is not on them to deny sex. It’s on the woman to not give it to them. How is it on anyone? We can just... have sex. and as a consequence, leads woman to believe they qualify for men they have no chance to secure a commitment from. I hear this a lot. Is there any actual evidence of a widespread phenomenon? I know there's anecdotal evidence. But there's anecdotal evidence for everything possible—a larg… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/12/25 09:20 PM |
| 4 | As a woman, women's intuition is vastly overratedA "woman" who just joined reddit happens to come here and say the exact thing one male user in particular recently made multiple posts about? Cool... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/12/25 11:08 AM |
| 1 | Men, could you go without love if all other traditional desires were met?Perhaps, depending on your risk tolerance. But that is a pragmatic reason, not a principled one. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/12/25 01:33 AM |
| 1 | Men, could you go without love if all other traditional desires were met?What principles would still apply? Like, what is the principled justification for demanding exclusivity from someone who is not special to you, who you dont love or even particularly like, who you sleep with out of contractual obligation? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/12/25 06:35 PM |
| 0 | Men, could you go without love if all other traditional desires were met?It's not a question of ability. It's "Why would she care either way?" | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/12/25 06:03 PM |
| – | Q4M: Who is in the wrong here?My initial reaction is that every part of this exchange should discourage anyone from dating 20-year olds, even other 20-year olds. Plus, this is definitely staged. No feelings were hurt in the making of this fiction. But assuming it's real, then it was imprudent of her to make that wager publicly, since it forces him into a public response which may or many not reflect his private feelings. As a clout-chaser, he's professionally obligated to respond in a way that chases clout. And it was insens… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/12/25 04:06 PM |
| 2 | Guys overestimate the percentage of men who can get away with being assholes.Yeah. Assholes getting more women isn't really the norm. It's just that when you have 100 million women having several hundred million relationships within a few years, virtually anything that can happen will happen many, many times. The ones you hear about are more likely to be the ones that make the most compelling stories--and stories thrive on conflict. This creates a false impression that any type of conflict is more common than it is. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/12/25 03:45 PM |
| 2 | Men, could you go without love if all other traditional desires were met?Nope. You also cannot cheat. Why not, if she's indifferent towards me? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/12/25 02:53 PM |
| 0 | Women are extremely hypocritical when it comes to friendships with menThe first issue is women constantly say they want to get to know the guy before they go out. Some women say this. Others want to be approached, especially if its appropriate to a given context. Most, seemingly, are open to warm-approaches, implying after introduction but prior to established friendship. Many women say they are basically incapable of seeing their male friends as romantic or sexual options in the future. These facts alone more or less kill your premise. But let's continue anyway. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/12/25 10:23 PM |
| – | Nothing is actually *that* hard to explain. "Hard to explain" is just code for "I have no argument"What's wild about this conversation is that guys are like "women's vibe detection doesnt work because they often end up with bad men," and also "ok, so tell me how to avoid detection." Like... no. Everyone can see that too many men avoid detection already. Why should we help the rest? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/12/25 07:19 PM |
| – | Nothing is actually *that* hard to explain. "Hard to explain" is just code for "I have no argument"No human faculty is perfect. That dorsnt mean they dont exist, or aren't better than nothing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/12/25 04:05 PM |
| – | Nothing is actually *that* hard to explain. "Hard to explain" is just code for "I have no argument""Far exceeds my interest" | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/12/25 04:02 PM |
| 5 | Nothing is actually *that* hard to explain. "Hard to explain" is just code for "I have no argument"Also, to be perfectly honest, I do feel like I could explain it. It's just that explaining it well would be a massive, massive undertaking (for the reasons described) that far exceeds my interest. Moreover, my greatest "success" would mean that lots of guys who may not be very good partners would be able to beguile many women into thinking otherwise. I WISH I was good at basketball. I would have no issues of conscience writing a book on how to get good at basketball! I feel differently about dat… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/12/25 02:29 AM |
| 2 | Nothing is actually *that* hard to explain. "Hard to explain" is just code for "I have no argument"Exactly. And, to broaden to scope a bit beyond OP, I consider that a lot of this sub is comprised by college men. College is a concept predicated on the idea that it takes 4 years to raise someone to basic adult competence in any field they intend to pursue seriously. And even if that doesn't apply to OP, it still demonstrates that society at large understands and accepts this idea of learning. So why do we have to re-explain it every single time? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/12/25 02:23 AM |
| 2 | Guys should be a bit gayer if they wanna get laid"Gayer" is a bit of a bait word for the title. But I'm on board because this is actually an underrated point. From a purely strategic point of view, eschewing some degree of traditional masculinity is a good call. There are tons of rational explanations against it: particularly data and anecdotes about what straight women say they want. But a good investment is about recognizing and anticipating trends, not just responding to the past. Most straight guys can’t even comprehend what could make a g… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/12/25 02:15 AM |
| 1 | Single mothers should put their kids up for adoption en masse.You seem to wish you were arguing with someone else. Maybe someone who wants to defend men or criticize women. Fortunately for you, it's a big internet: hope you find him. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/12/25 01:41 AM |
| 6 | Nothing is actually *that* hard to explain. "Hard to explain" is just code for "I have no argument"OK, so why tell someone they're likely bad at flirting if you can't explain how to flirt well? Presumably, I would only do that, only and simply, if I believed it was true. Whether or not I happen to the be the right guy in the right situation to explain how to do better to the right audience is a considerably less likely coincidence. EDIT: it may be worthwhile to note that the skillset to analyze a problem and the ability to solve it are often regarded as related, but different. Like, anyone ca… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/12/25 01:33 AM |
| 1 | Nothing is actually *that* hard to explain. "Hard to explain" is just code for "I have no argument"people should respond with the aim of persuasion. Aim is not "ability." I spoke directly of ability. Additionally, it is not inconceivable that drawing a line between "can understand" and "can explain" would be sufficient to change (or at least moderate) a view. Many philosophical texts, especially in epistemology, attempt just that--to cast doubt on the basis of assumed knowledge rather than try to replace it with contradicting knowledge. After you've driven for a while, most of it'll be subcon… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/12/25 01:28 AM |
| 10 | Nothing is actually *that* hard to explain. "Hard to explain" is just code for "I have no argument"Lonely men are frequently told that they're probably bad at flirting, but no one gives actual examples of how to flirt well. This is indeed hard to explain, especially in anything approaching a succinct fashion, due to all of the variables involved. Successful flirting, in my assessment, comes down to how you deal with many variables. What works on one woman might not work on another, what works on both in one setting won't work in another, what works in both settings wont work if you or her are… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/12/25 01:12 AM |
| 1 | Nothing is actually *that* hard to explain. "Hard to explain" is just code for "I have no argument"Nah, things can absolutely be hard to explain. In fact, I would say there are at least three variables that go into the difficulty of explaining things. At least. This is long, so I'll reply to the rest in a separate comment. The subject matter itself, particularly when they are primarily based in feelings. Feelings are, by nature, pre-intellectual: we experience them prior to generating a conscious thought. Whatever we derive from conscious thought it always going to be easier to explain, since… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/12/25 12:43 AM |
| 9 | Single mothers should put their kids up for adoption en masse.Obviously. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/12/25 11:34 PM |
| 1 | Single mothers should put their kids up for adoption en masse.Not any less cruel than I wasn't setting up a competition... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/12/25 11:34 PM |
| 2 | Demographics does matter for men when it comes to datingIt does matter. Proximity matters. But, in most cases, it would be a mistake view it as a hyper-local phenomenon. Like, having a major full of women is an advantage. But the classrooms for that major are only a short walk from the classrooms for male-dominated fields. If you can't talk to women in your near vicinity without them being literally assigned to your direct company, it IS a skill issue. Where I think the greater proximity to women most benefits young men the most isn't in easy dating … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/12/25 11:31 PM |
| 21 | Single mothers should put their kids up for adoption en masse.This is such a radical, underthought and cruel idea that I don't--and one which I have never heard before--that I don't think it needed a counter-argument. Statistically, children fare better in dual-parent households than single-parent ones. However, the outcomes for any particular child vary so wildly, depending on other circumstances, that it's not worth jumping to general conclusions. It's always a case-by-case basis, with obviously disadvantageous cases tending to be more numerous specifica… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/12/25 10:47 PM |
| 3 | Did getting into a relationship change your views/approach?I'm not sure what you're suggesting. The principles and behaviors that I saw were from hundreds of text conversations with women and dozens of calls and dates Yeah, but you singled out your own relationship as an inflection point, where you became "truly enlightened." Had that relationship been different, it sounds like you would have remained unenlightened. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/12/25 09:37 PM |
| 7 | Did getting into a relationship change your views/approach?When I found this "good woman" was when I truly became enlightened to what the red pill was. So, had you experienced a better relationship this once, do you think you'd now have a different outlook? That sounds like a lot of epistemic weight to put on a single gamble that didnt pay off. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/12/25 08:56 PM |
| 7 | Modern society won’t admit that dating is harder for the average man than average woman, because it pushes a narrative that men don’t experience disadvantages, or women have privileges.Ok... so prove global birth rates are related to the 4b movement. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/12/25 01:16 AM |
| – | Women's "being seen as a body" problem is NOT about men's behaviour.the majority of my experiences come from online There's the problem, right there. Online discourse oversamples discontent. Even if the majority of people are pretty chill, chill people are significantly less likely to engage at all than people with strongly negative opinions. Fortunately this can be resolved by simply logging off. I'm intimidated by women and I'm ok with that I dont know, bro. That sounds like something you shouldn't just be ok with. and as I said, we are still great friends The… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/12/25 10:04 PM |
| 0 | Are there viral Blue Pill dating experiments?So you're just going to disregard everything I said and trust in your ability to read minds... I didn't "need to deploy arguments." I just answered a question as though it was in good faith. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/12/25 09:39 PM |
| 0 | Modern society won’t admit that dating is harder for the average man than average woman, because it pushes a narrative that men don’t experience disadvantages, or women have privileges.I dont understand the question. They date in dating. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/12/25 09:38 PM |
| – | Women's "being seen as a body" problem is NOT about men's behaviour.Here's the thing: I actually do sleep with lots of women, like 96th percentile for my gender and age. And I'm very open about it. Yet I've rarely ever been accused of objectification. So either I'm very lucky, a real possibility, or there's something about the way I handle things that resists critical reactions. Or both? That's why I'm guessing "skill issue." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/12/25 09:35 PM |
| 6 | Modern society won’t admit that dating is harder for the average man than average woman, because it pushes a narrative that men don’t experience disadvantages, or women have privileges.There has always been, at any given time, people who dont feel like dating for a while. That isnt a movement. There's nothing ideologically stopping them from changing their minds tomorrow. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/12/25 09:29 PM |
| 4 | Modern society won’t admit that dating is harder for the average man than average woman, because it pushes a narrative that men don’t experience disadvantages, or women have privileges.<image> | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/12/25 09:03 PM |
| 5 | Modern society won’t admit that dating is harder for the average man than average woman, because it pushes a narrative that men don’t experience disadvantages, or women have privileges.The 4b movement is what women are moving to. The 4b movement is basically nonexistent in the west. It was a performative internet trend for like a week. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/12/25 08:53 PM |
| 3 | Would you call yourself pro-(dating/relationships)science?Every, single, discovery…ever, was at first “inconclusive” or “unproven” there “wasn’t any evidence of”, etc. Yes. Unfortunately for your argument, every true discovery was preceded by exponentially more false theories. That's why we need rational belief-forming processes to seperate the wheat from the chaff. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/12/25 08:47 PM |
| – | Women's "being seen as a body" problem is NOT about men's behaviour.In fairness, I replied to the previous comment before actually reading your post. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/12/25 08:31 PM |
| 2 | Would you call yourself pro-(dating/relationships)science?There's nothing precluding my lucky numbers from winning the next lottery. But there's no rational belief-forming process to justify the conclusion that they will win. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/12/25 08:22 PM |
| – | Women's "being seen as a body" problem is NOT about men's behaviour.I myself have literally been accused of seeing women as bodies rather than full human people countless times over a decade of discussing gender roles online. It comes up a LOT. It comes up when men honestly talk about how their side of the dynamic feels At the risk of being blunt and cliche, this sounds like a skill issue. Even giving you the benefit of the doubt—that is, assuming you dont have toxic ideas—you may have trouble expressing yourself properly or reading the sensitivities of your aud… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/12/25 08:19 PM |
| – | Women's "being seen as a body" problem is NOT about men's behaviour.Tell me who was in the wrong and tell me how stupid I am for feeling like I can be easily seen as an annoying, disgusting selfish nuisance. I mean, it isnt very smart to make so much out of a single experience. It just sounds like bad luck. She has her own experiences, and whatever those are happened to contribute to a negative interpretation of your approach, however you went about it. Another person, another time, another way... there are so many variables that lead to different endings. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/12/25 08:08 PM |
| 5 | Why are Men are obligated to pay but women are not obligated todo anything?I dont habitually pay for dates. 50/50 has become very common, just not for everyone everywhere. Maybe date women who share your values? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/12/25 05:48 PM |
| 3 | Modern society won’t admit that dating is harder for the average man than average woman, because it pushes a narrative that men don’t experience disadvantages, or women have privileges.Getting a date is harder for men. "Dating" is much broader concept with significantly vaguer metrics for success. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/12/25 04:44 PM |
| 13 | Would you call yourself pro-(dating/relationships)science?I'm pro-science. Part of being pro-science is understanding that studies are limited in scope, often circumspect in their research questions, often imperfect in their methodologies, often irreproducible; that the law of small numbers makes many stats irrelevant for any specific individual, and that researchers wisely show much more restraint in their conclusions than laymen who only read the headlines. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/12/25 04:33 PM |
| -1 | Apparently even progressive women have a habit of demonizing sexuality of average dudesAs a man, I don't feel demonized. Let's hope I'm also immortal and tax exempt. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/12/25 04:09 PM |
| 6 | Apparently even progressive women have a habit of demonizing sexuality of average dudesI tried sex a few times with a guy when I was 19. Hated it. No offense, but this is literally a hypothetical scenario I often use to show people the fallacy of giving up on things too early because they're not good at it right away. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/12/25 04:08 PM |
| -4 | Apparently even progressive women have a habit of demonizing sexuality of average dudesThere are literally This is the internet. There is literally every possible opinion here. And then next the same women will say Oh wow, show me an example of the the same woman saying both things... Despite society and most women telling men that women don't enjoy sex. Neither society nor most women have said this. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/12/25 03:58 PM |
| 2 | Women cannot detect the "toxic" thoughts of lonely menLike I said, because the process is subconscious, it's hard to consciously identify its elements. Besides, im not a woman and the only person's mind is have directly experienced is my own. Besides, I really have nk interest in potentially helping toxic guys pretend to be non-toxic. Bad karma, or something. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/12/25 03:29 AM |
| 1 | What's something you wish the opposite sex understood more about your experiences?Do you see the difference? Yes, but I'm not sure of its relevance to my particular argument. With or without intent, the principal facts are the same: reality of danger, perception of danger, proportionality of safety response. If cars did want to hurt us, and caused 6000 injuries a day, the outcome is the same as though they didn't. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/12/25 11:27 PM |
| 3 | What's something you wish the opposite sex understood more about your experiences?The appropriateness of that analogy is the very matter of disagreement to which I've alluded. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/12/25 10:49 PM |
| 1 | What's something you wish the opposite sex understood more about your experiences?That isn't wholly true. The initial amygdala reaction is roughly the same for both. But the brain also comprises the cortex, by which we mediate the initial response through cognition. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/12/25 10:47 PM |
| 4 | What's something you wish the opposite sex understood more about your experiences?you don’t really understand what it means and what we want. Perhaps not. But perhaps you don't. I cant imagine even trying to count how many times other women than you have described its meaning precisely as confronting bad-acting men in our daily lives. Your explanation is novel to me. But certainly, consider it done. Pity, I can't speak for the rest of the brotherhood. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/12/25 10:42 PM |
| 1 | What's something you wish the opposite sex understood more about your experiences?it would be like believing the government is out to get you and following you everywhere (unless they actually are). The issue with this illustration is that paranoia is a purely mental phenomenon. So it depends on how your mind processes information, and what information you have, neither of which necessarily has to reflect reality or reason. Consider that the government is following you, but has left no trace for you to rationally conclude it. Fearing it would be paranoid. The fact that you'd … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/12/25 10:12 PM |
| 9 | What's something you wish the opposite sex understood more about your experiences?That anti-men content and speech is actually really hurtful and alienating. It's been about 10 years since the MeToo movement began, not coincidentally the same time open misandry became very trendy, both on social media and in real life. Fair enough, honestly—after basically forever of open misogyny, we could stand a period of overcorrection. It might even be instructive. But at this point, we have a whole generation of boys raised to young men who confront variations on the theme "Men are terr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/12/25 08:22 PM |
| 2 | What's something you wish the opposite sex understood more about your experiences?We aren't paranoid about men, we've been dealing with creepy and evil men To be fair, paranoia is independent of extant danger. Paranoia is a response to perceived danger. For example, there are over 6000 injuries a day from car crashes. I've been in three significant car crashes. I still drive every day, but relatively safely. That safety would generally be recognized as a proportional response to the reality of car crashes. However, especially in my current city with poor public transit, refus… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/12/25 08:14 PM |
| 2 | Dating for months does not automatically mean a relationship.Social norms are still very strong. That depends how one qualifies "very." But they're not as strong as they used to be. A lot more dating practices are effectively normalized in 2025 than 2015, 2005, and so on, even if you don't personally find them common. In 1950, "casual dating" would make a woman the talk of the town. In 2025, we've had to invent new terminology just to refer to all the things regular people participate in with relative impunity: FWB, hookup, situationship, etc. Even "datin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/12/25 07:34 PM |
| 1 | Men who complain about women not being mature and worthy of relationships, yet keep appealing to the lowest common denominator are patheticmake no attempt to raise your standards and keep chasing pussy no matter what, you have zero self esteem Hmm... I thought I'd agree with you. I don't like it when people complain about things they're unwilling to change. However, I also see the other side: many men genuinely believe that if they raise their standards, they'll get nothing. Whether they are right or wrong is irrelevant right now: what matters is that they believe it, and that a flawed something is better than nothing. If you have … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/12/25 07:19 PM |
| 2 | Once females become adults it’s probably too late to learn relationship skillsOnce females become adults it’s probably too late to learn relationship skills The most effective way to learn relationship skills is to be in relationships. Yes, that means trial and error—that's what dating is for. Combined with self-reflection and a little guidance, almost anyone can significantly improve. Almost no one gets to be good at it early on. women can be bad at relationships and still receive a ton of validation in the form of women never holding her accountable and men trying to ho… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/12/25 07:08 PM |
| 2 | Women cannot detect the "toxic" thoughts of lonely menSpecifics about how they do this are rarely given, it's usually just along the lines of "You probably give off bad vibes." And that's often true. It's not their fault that "vibes" are easier to feel than to articulate. If I were to try, I'd say that vibes are the gestalt of several minor variables in style, speech and behavior, insignificant on their own, but which trigger a subconscious pattern-recognition response leading to emotional feedback. The fact that no part of this process is necessar… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/12/25 07:00 PM |
| 2 | If you are a “nice guy”, you cannot just choose to become an “asshole”What he meant by that is that he was going to stop caring about what women want. He wanted to insincerely “love bomb” them, and then dump them for another woman once he had had sex with them. Because that’s what is effective, dammit. First off, where I thought this was going is that a genuinely nice guy can't be not-nice, regardless of its potential efficacy. Anyone who can isn't nice in the first place, just adopting nice behaviors for some objective benefit. A nice man would shudder at the tho… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/12/25 06:45 PM |
| 2 | Dating for months does not automatically mean a relationship.This may the first post of yours I've ever totally agreed with. Only, why did you make it gendered—targeted to men? Statistically, aren't women more likely to call an undefined situation a "relationship" than men? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/12/25 06:23 PM |
| 7 | Dating for months does not automatically mean a relationship.Well, I'm 39. Dont expect exclusivity if you havent talked about exclusivity. Opinions about this differ and social norms aren't as strong as they once were. Assuming your date shares your perspective on something important you dont discuss is just naive. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/12/25 06:21 PM |
| 1 | Dating for months does not automatically mean a relationship.And let me guess, it’s always the men who needs to put a label on it right? I almost made this exact point. Then I read it more closely and realized that isn't what she said. She was specifically calling out men who assume they're in a relationship, and expect the associated privileges, without communicating it. If anything, if you want to clap back on gender, you could have pointed out that women actually do this even more. At any rate, it doesn't matter who says it first: both have to say it a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/12/25 06:00 PM |
| 1 | Are there viral Blue Pill dating experiments?You don't have to sense thoughts. It's human nature to reveal evidence of your ideology, even when you're not directly talking about it. It comes out in other ways because it is literally the way you think. That said, individuals vary in how much they give away, as well as in how apt they are at detection. So it's not a perfect mechanism. However, if you've ever really talked to women about their dates, you'll hear stuff like, "I don't know... he didn't say anything wrong, exactly, but he was gi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/12/25 05:53 PM |
| -3 | Are there viral Blue Pill dating experiments?Because blue pill doesn't exist. It's strawman invented by red pill. There is no shared ideology, no movement, no community specifically oriented around non-red pill dating. Most people who would be called blue pill have never even heard the term. Because those of us who do, for various reasons, participate in debate with manospehrians, tend to think viral dating experiments are breathtakingly stupid. I'd sooner start an Only Fans than appear in one, for all of the embarrassment it would save me… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/12/25 05:48 PM |
| 0 | Women clown on lonely men for turning to porn, but are also hostile to the idea of men going out and approaching themthen a long streak of porn use to soothe the pain of this failure Oh please. We don't need to generate complex psychological reasons for watching porn. It's porn! but seem to be equally as hostile to the idea of men rejecting porn and going out approaching them First, these are mutually exclusive. You can, in fact, reject porn and avoid approaching women. Second, you describe these men as unattractive. No one wants someone they find unattractive approaching them, except maybe the very desperate … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/12/25 05:36 PM |
| 8 | Do you think its possible for a man to significantly improve the percentage of women he tries that will have a relationship or have sex with him aside from changing what women he tries?My answer is "Yes." But, taking the question literally, "No." There is nothing anyone can do to change the percentage. Life is probabilistic: even if you do everything better, you might simply have worse luck (or very incongruent tastes in women), in which case it may all amount to nothing. Consider the NBA all-star who, out of nowhere, misses almost all his shots in a big game. He's done everything he could to prepare. Some nights are just off. But most men in most circumstances can improve the… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/12/25 07:16 PM |
| – | I think people who judge adult age gap relationships are extreme hypocrites (even if they don't fully realize it)Why is that a question? Who needs to know? What are onlookers supposed to do with the information, if they receive it? If anything, I think it would be much weirder for a "mature" 50-year old to date a 20-year old. An immature one sounds like a better match. But it's none of my concern either way. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/12/25 04:14 PM |
| – | I think people who judge adult age gap relationships are extreme hypocrites (even if they don't fully realize it)but you do have to wonder what's the maturity level of a 50-year old who is okay partnering with a 20-year old. Why do you have to wonder that? Let's say he is extremely immature for his age. So what? She's 20. If she dated a man her own age, that man would be really immature compared to a 50 year old. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/12/25 02:50 PM |
| 1 | Would you say missing out on young love/dating in your teens is bad?It doesnt matter in the long run. But it sucks at the time. Especially if you don't date later on This is simply a different proposition. People generally benefit from a breadth and depth of experience. Your teenage years are brief and take place mostly in a distorted microcosm of the social world. But once you get to adult world, things start to matter. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/12/25 02:59 PM |
| 1 | Q4M: What things do you do for your female friends that you don't do for your guy friends?Um... I cant think of anything. I basically treat everyone the same. The only differences are little things like tending to talk to my female friends more when they're not around (calling, texting, etc) and to be more physically affectionate. But I think that's more just a difference in the way women do friendship. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/12/25 02:51 PM |
| – | Is there a way to express sex positivity on dating apps without coming off as weird?Oof. If anything, I would avoid mainstream dating and go for kink-oreinted stuff. You're not sex positive if you're waiting for marriage, at least not in the sense that will be useful or comprehensible for most of your target audience. but I figured that if I waited this long, I might as well keep waiting You keep talking about morals. This isnt a moral. This is either slavish devotion to a sunk cost fallacy, or a particular kind of baggage. What reward do you think you get for waiting? Maybe yo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/12/25 04:33 AM |
| 7 | Claiming "Sex isn't the only thing men care about" only works when men show they have other priorities.Obviously, this is a bullshit lie men say to pump and dump, Isn't the above contradicted by the below? Always obsessing over the deadbedroom sub | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/11/25 04:54 PM |
| 0 | It's really not that challenging to get a girlfriendWhat about just wanting to date someone, not "build" with them? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/11/25 04:18 AM |
| 2 | It's really not that challenging to get a girlfriendYou want a life partner You dont know what they want. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/11/25 03:51 AM |
| 3 | We shouldnt give grace to older people making younger people mistakes.Exactly and thats the main thing Im talking about. Great. But that's not desire. Wanting something isnt a choice, since it's a feeling. Nigerian Prince scams is not a new unknown conception. Neither are most of the possible risks in the world. You still dont know how to deal with them all and many of them will never even occur to you. See. A choice. Only if your own cognitive bias occurs to you. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/11/25 06:15 PM |
| 3 | We shouldnt give grace to older people making younger people mistakes.Yes it is. Not according to psychology or neuroscience. Thinking is a choice. Behavior is a choice. Desire, like all feelings, are pre-intellectual: we literally experience them prior to cognitive thought. But also, if you dont want to debate victimhood, dont make a post about when to give grace for people's mistakes. That's literally the topic at hand. This woman worked jobs that required degrees. As have I. At no point in college or in any professional training did "how to not get so overwhelm… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/11/25 05:34 PM |
| 3 | We shouldnt give grace to older people making younger people mistakes.Right, when people refuse to want to grow up Well, you can't refuse to want something. Desire isnt a choice. You need someone to sit you down and tell you not to blindly believe a man say he’s royalty and won an Olympic medal? I don't. But your argument is that somehow a 28 year old is supposed to understand this more than a 22 year old. That suggests that something has to happen during those 6 years to teach you the lesson. And we see that lots of people of all ages get scammed. These scams alw… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/11/25 04:16 PM |
| 4 | We shouldnt give grace to older people making younger people mistakes.I came in here expecting to agree with you. Pity. The thing is, age doesnt actually mean anything without relevant experience. It isnt a magic process, just more time for lessons to learn. I havent taken a piano lesson in 39 years, so its rational to expect that im no better at the piano today than I was at 25, 18, or 6. People with little relationship experience dont magically get better at relationships. Nothing about traveling, a "good" family, or formal education necessarily imparts how not … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/11/25 02:51 PM |
| – | Coming back with my most unhinged take yetWhat does natural mean to you? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/11/25 02:35 AM |
| 1 | If you were a woman, what kind of men would you be attracted to?More or less the same things I look for in women now. Relatively fit-to-athletic build, pretty face, charisma, extroversion, intelligence, curiosity, wit, backbone, style, with a philosophical nature and a strong sense of "goodness." Beyond that, feel free to hit "randomize" on the character creator. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/11/25 08:53 PM |
| – | Does it feel like relationships “just happen” for you?This is interesting. Good thread, OP. I'm seeing that many women do perceive relationships as just happening. I see also that many perceive themselves as putting in the effort, but are perhaps overestimating that effort, as it often boils down to simply putting themselves into position. As a man, I can say this is a luxury. I have found relationships many ways, often as pursuer, sometimes as pursued, sometimes "it just happens." The newest woman I'm dating was seemingly a gift from the universe-… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/11/25 07:04 PM |
| 3 | Men in relationships with women watch porn for two reasonsNope. I just like it. You might as well ask why anyone would be on reddit when they have real-life people to talk to. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/11/25 08:27 PM |
| 1 | Dating Apps Sound DreadfulThe thing about dating apps is that they have very low opportunity cost. I could swipe through 50 people in less time than it's taking me to write this comment. It does not, therefore, interfere with my ability to go out at night and hook up the old fashioned way. It's a supplement, not a replacement. It's also extra useful in particular situations, like: traveling or moving; living somewhere that gets lots of tourists; living in a city so big that you cant go out to every "right place at the ri… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/11/25 06:46 PM |
| 1 | Straight men are better off allowing 4B and political lesbianism to take over the feminist movement4B, on the other hand, can get a good number of women behind it. In the US, 4b was basically a performative internet trend for like 2 weeks. Even in South Korea, 4b's origin and biggest success story, its actual membership and impact is debatable, to say the least. I cant think of any reason a western 4B would be capable of getting "a good number" of women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/11/25 10:02 PM |
| 2 | Straight men are better off allowing 4B and political lesbianism to take over the feminist movementStraight men are better off allowing 4B and political lesbianism Sorry, but the first thing that comes to mind is that how exactly are men supposed to "allow" it? I don't think men get a lot of say either way. Also, what's the goal here? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/11/25 09:54 PM |
| 1 | Are male virginity stats true?he said many of his friends are. My younger son has never dated and many of his friends (20-25) have also never had a girlfriend. There's a lot of selection bias when it comes to friend groups. I'm not saying they actively recruited virgins. But it may be that they tend to associate with young men who, consciously or unconsciously, share various qualities that are not appealing to women in their age group, or at least not conducive to escalating "appeal" into actual sex. I'm in sort of the oppos… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/11/25 09:44 PM |
| 1 | Newsflash: Even IF women approached more, not a whole lot would really change.The REASON men can APPROACH is because looks is largely the only thing we consider. This sounds reasonable in theory. But what about men who already do consider more than looks and still do a lot of approaching? Don't they suggest that romantic urges and social expectations are powerful enough to make the model workable? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/11/25 09:35 PM |
| 1 | Newsflash: Even IF women approached more, not a whole lot would really change.I've made this exact point before. But there are some interesting counterarguments that no one has ever tried on me. Let's go. Culture shift. It is irresponsible to consider this proposition as though within a vacuum of cultural context. Any fundamental shift in dating culture is bound to have myriad downstream effects--and those effects are themselves going to shift, reshit and interact in ways that are hard to predict. One of them may very well be that women become less "picky." Why? Because i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/11/25 09:23 PM |
| 5 | When bad boys come on strong, its "love bombing". When nice guys come on strong, they look desperate, clingy and needyThe whole concept of "love bombing" implies that the receiver was failing for it, if not even welcomed it to a certain point and ended up feeling fooled No. In fact, love bombing often involves zero buy-in from the utterly dumbfounded receipient. But the confident badass can do a "miss you bae" or "you mean everything to me bae" These statements dont strike me as lovebombing. Also, context is key. These statements, like any expression of deep feeling, are perfectly appropriate when you've read t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/11/25 08:22 PM |
| 1 | Q4M: When dating, do you only spend money if there's something in it for you?Um, it depends. In a long term relationship, I should be deeply invested in their happiness. But if we're just starting to date, spending money for nothing in return is just charity. Nothing wrong with charity—but surely there are people all over the city with more dire needs than this random woman from Hinge. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/11/25 08:09 PM |
| 3 | Q4W: If the first man you had sex with was the perfect man, would you have been fine with only experiencing sex with one person your whole life?Thing is, you have to have experience to know whether its important. Even if you feel a partner is "perfect," your impression wouldnt be epistemically sound without a lot of imperfections to compare it to. That doesnt mean you cant be happy. Happiness is, perhaps, the goal. But the problem with most people of limited experience is that they come to mistake what little they have for whatever is possible, or even normal. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/11/25 07:59 PM |
| 1 | In what situations would you classify a man as a "beta"?They weren’t women’s top choice Let’s use Tom Brady I see two problems with this analogy. First is of course that, as you said, tom wasn't anyone's first pick. He started the season 4th on the depth chart. He ended up earning the job, but only because Bledsoe went down. In relationship terms, this situation would be unacceptable not only to red pillers, but to most men in general. Surely the "alpha" move would be to demand a trade to a team that would roll out the red carpet. Second is that, of … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/11/25 07:23 PM |
| 1 | Whereas male attraction is largely amoral, women’s attraction seems actively immoral and sex itself is therefore bad for either genderthere is very little if anything she can do to render herself unattractive to the same pool of men she previously attracted. This is kind of true, but misleading. Generally speaking, the pool as a whole will be only minimally affected by bad behaviors and attitudes. But that's because the pool always consists primarily of desperate men. This is simple logic: virtually every woman, regardless of her attractiveness and preferences, is attractive to the most desperate men. If she's a "6", the vast … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/11/25 06:09 PM |
| 1 | Q4M: why do you no longer court women properly?the proper courting dance that we agreed as a society makes for a good dating experience for everyone? Obvious bait, but ok. First, it occurs to me that we never actually agreed. Courtship rituals simply evolved along with myriad cultural and economic shifts, often with very little opportunity for input, planning or reflection from the general public. Moreover, the state of evolution was constant and the rate of change asynchronous—that is to say there was never a single moment in history where … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/11/25 05:21 PM |
| 17 | What's the point of sleeping with someone you aren't attracted to?The sex is the point. Sometimes, people just want to get laid and there's no good options availible. and then marries him This is a far, far leap from sleeping together. In my limited observational experience, this tends to happens for a few reasons: 1) Financial stability 2) Pregnancy 3) He tries really hard and that makes her feel more loved and secure than she ever has in her entire life 4) He checks every other box and she thinks attraction will grow in time | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/11/25 05:00 PM |
| – | What particular thing do you think would make the dating world a lot easier if men understood better?Those men probably had better options. I know tons of men who don't sleep with women they're not attracted to. But Im not sure I know any who would choose abstinence if they simply couldn't find an attractive partner for a very long period of time AND had a willing, unattractive alternative. Simply put, there is a strong positive correlation between a man's standards and his cumulative attractiveness. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/11/25 12:39 AM |
| – | What particular thing do you think would make the dating world a lot easier if men understood better?There's a difference between more/less attraction and no attraction whatsoever lol Only if you can get someone at all attractive. I'm not condoning this behavior, just looking at it practically: if you prioritize having sex but can't find someone you're attracted to, what else are you supposed to do? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/11/25 11:08 PM |
| – | What particular thing do you think would make the dating world a lot easier if men understood better?Isn't that obvious? They want to have sex. Logically, they'd prefer someone more attractive, if that were an option. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/11/25 10:48 PM |
| – | Despite what the internet says, money doesn’t help a man much in datingThey have to last a long time. You didn't say that. You said you couldn't even get a ltr. You said women only want casual or fwb with you. That's a very different goalpost than what you're saying now. like marriage and cohabitation I cohabitated with three of them. I was with one for 9 years. Frankly, all of them would have likely married me, had I any interest in marriage at the right time. I'm cohabitating now. We've been together nearly 4 years. We're planning to get married after she finishe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/11/25 06:25 PM |
| – | Despite what the internet says, money doesn’t help a man much in datingBut they didn’t last or stand the test of time So? You said "married and/or in a ltr." These were ltrs. So how does it prove a point The point is that not having money is ultimately a very small factor in whether or not you can get in a relationship. The fact that they all ended for reasons unrelated to money supports the point that it isn't a huge factor in keeping relationships either. So whatever is stopping you from getting a relationship may not be money either. I’m literally just talking a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/11/25 05:54 PM |
| – | Despite what the internet says, money doesn’t help a man much in datingHow are they ltrs? How are they plural? I'm poly. And why have they all or all but one ended? If you're talking about my past relationships (I wasn't, since those were not in 2025), they ended for lots of reasons. One I dumped because she was too much trouble. One dumped me because I was a lying bastard. One was an amicable split because our lives were taking us in separate directions—she tried to follow me a few months later, but it was too late. One left due to lifestyle incompatibilities. One… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/11/25 05:23 PM |
| – | Despite what the internet says, money doesn’t help a man much in datingIf you want women too, work hard on your appearance and personality. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/11/25 04:36 PM |
| – | Despite what the internet says, money doesn’t help a man much in datingIt's 2025 here too. Yet I have no problem getting dates, hookups and ltrs while laid off and broke. No offense, but maybe your vibes are just off. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/11/25 04:32 PM |
| – | Despite what the internet says, money doesn’t help a man much in datingThis is another fucked up inversion that has happened in the west, Anywhere else, your money is part of your statement of value as a man. You think that's... bad? It seems like a huge positive to me. Men with money already have money. They shouldn't automatically get everything else too. That broke guys can get women by being hot and interesting is one of the few things we have left that's NOT overly commodified. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/11/25 04:30 PM |
| – | Despite what the internet says, money doesn’t help a man much in datingThe nature of my career has meant dramatic ups and downs. I have an unusual level of experience dating, hooking up, and being in serious relationships everywhere on the spectrum from upper middle class to unemployed and broke. Honestly, money makes things a little easier, but the difference is surprisingly small. People say Looks-Money-Status. But it seems to me that you have to have a LOT of money or status for either to weigh heavily enough to deserve consideration in the overall picture. It s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/11/25 04:14 PM |
| 3 | CMV: common fantasies of the opposite sex ≠ unspoken truthsAnd the fun little secret women don't want to admit is there's absolutely a double-standard when it comes to this. They believe 18-year-old women are these innocent children being preyed upon by older men, but when they do it to 18-year-old men? "Oh they're technically adults, plus they want to have lots of sex with older women, where's the harm in that?" Very few women have that take on 18 year-old men. Very few 18 year-old men have the experience of being routinely scouted by cougars. Very man… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/11/25 08:16 PM |
| 2 | I think all women would be happier singleAs a woman coming out of a 13 year relationship I mean, you do see how this could generate enormous bias, right? The fact that men are biologically incapable of being sexually satisfied with only one woman That is neither a fact, nor Biology. Like, what do you think biologically happens if we don't get 2 women, penile cancer? The fact is that men, collectively, tend to have higher libido than women. However, it is also a fact that individual men and women vary greatly in this regard, that libido… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/11/25 08:10 PM |
| 3 | Women don't love you, they love what you can do for them.The second answer isn’t even about her, but about how she makes him feel. All of the statements are about how he feels. I don't see the objection. Love is literally just a feeling. The last one says the condition is being drawn to her. That means most likely that she’s attractive to him. And most men are attracted to fit and thin women This is pretty holey logic. We don't actually know what's "most likely." We don't know that she's fit. We don't know if he'd continue loving her if she gained wei… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/11/25 07:54 PM |
| 1 | Women don't love you, they love what you can do for them.One thing I keep seeing is that whenever there is a thread asking women, “Why do you love your man” the answers almost always become lists of things he does for her and support. It is all about things he does. The problem with this kind of analysis is that we don't know if it reflects an inherent difference in how they think, a difference in how they communicate, or simply a difference in their perception of the question. You do not see books where a woman is sacrificing everything, fixing the m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/11/25 07:39 PM |
| 8 | CMV: common fantasies of the opposite sex ≠ unspoken truths18 isn’t illegal nor is it a child. Legal and "child" are, of course, manmade concepts. So I don't think that's a particularly strong defense outside of a courtroom. Besides, what I think is a lot trickier to admit is that a woman who's attracting men on her 18th birthday was probably attracting them the day before, the month before, maybe 1 or 2 years before, at least in many cases. We can realistically admit that the development of secondary sex characteristics doesn't coincidentally come wire… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/11/25 07:05 PM |
| 1 | CMV: common fantasies of the opposite sex ≠ unspoken truthsWhat is said out loud: "Pfft, nah we don't find kids sexy" And yet: OF girls making millions on their 18th birthday, loli anime, etc There's a wholly different argument to be made against this one. After all, it ultimately takes only a tiny fraction of the male population to make an OF creator a multimillionaire. And it's never a statistically random sample: we're specifically looking at a group of people with one particularly glaring thing in common. Still, I vaguely call that there have been s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/11/25 07:01 PM |
| 4 | What is your goal in dating?I guess I'm just really into intimacy? Sometimes it's the kind you build for years. Others, it's the kind you discover, like a nice surprise, in 5 minutes at bar. It's a greater passion for me than all others combined. That's the reason I crave dating. The reason I actually do it is always simply the particular individuals involved. I'm fairly indifferent about marriage and actively disinterested in children or monogamy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/11/25 06:45 PM |
| 0 | why do so many men look down on sex workers (escorts, prostitutes, onlyfans model, sugarbabies etc ) but at the same time also consume their services/content?I don't think your argument demonstrates that supply actually outpaces demand. It may only show that demand is unevenly distributed among suppliers. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/11/25 10:49 PM |
| 0 | The blue pill gives you a better shot at happiness, for less cost, than the red pill.I think it's somewhat useful. Blue pill may not tell you much about what I have to say, but it will tell you plenty about what I'm NOT going to say. Specifically, it makes it clear that I'm not going to spout and Red Pill rhetoric. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/11/25 10:44 PM |
| -1 | The blue pill gives you a better shot at happiness, for less cost, than the red pill.I would just call it being polite and gentlemanly. I can't personally recall ever getting that advice from anyone and wouldn't associate it with being gentlemanly or pilled. the thing that makes it blue pill is that it doesn’t seem to work Isn't that tautological? The thing is, people seem to think blue pill is just everything not red pill, or everything that doesn't work, or some other similar catch-all. That's because blue pill doesn't really exist. It's just a straw-man invented by red piller… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/11/25 09:09 PM |
| 1 | The blue pill gives you a better shot at happiness, for less cost, than the red pill.certain blue pill ideas over communicating before a date What makes this idea "blue pill"? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/11/25 07:08 PM |
| 2 | why do so many men look down on sex workers (escorts, prostitutes, onlyfans model, sugarbabies etc ) but at the same time also consume their services/content?I don't think it is. I think that the rise of OF, and social media in general, just raises the issue more frequently. EDIT: Well, I should add that another facet of OF and social media that has made this debate more heated is that it often involves otherwise "normal" women. At least previously, sex work was largely confined to pornstars, which was almost a wholly separate category of women most men would never plausibly encounter in the real world. Now it's their neighbors, which forces them int… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/11/25 06:48 PM |
| 2 | Do you think simps should do more escorts/sugaring?Ive seen a trend of inexperienced men who havent been conventionally masculine/attractive, commit to women who would never date them "in highschool". Sounds good. And its often great for an initial period but often ends up in dead bedroom or divorce. ...ok. So there seems to be this theory going around that the cause of breakdowns in longterm sexual relationships is primarily that women were never viscerally attracted to the men in the first place. But I have never seen any large-scale evidence … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/11/25 06:40 PM |
| 3 | why do so many men look down on sex workers (escorts, prostitutes, onlyfans model, sugarbabies etc ) but at the same time also consume their services/content?Apparently not enough to finance the livelyhood of all sex workers. Not even close. The bottom 90% of Onlyfans doesn't make enough to justify doing sexwork as a side gig, even. The demand literally can't keep up with the supply when it comes to sex work. This is simply true for every entertainment medium. Think of how many bands there are that don't make enough to quit their day jobs, or how many actors there are waiting tables in LA. Actually, it may be true for basically any luxury. Half of Am… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/11/25 06:28 PM |
| 0 | why do so many men look down on sex workers (escorts, prostitutes, onlyfans model, sugarbabies etc ) but at the same time also consume their services/content?“Those are two different women, In this case, it is frequently the same man. You can see it for yourself: look in the comment section under some thot's* posts and you'll find tons of men who show up just to say something insulting ("fatherless behavior," "OF detected; opinion invalid"); then you click on their profiles and they follow dozens of women just like her. Or just consider the raw data: every study shows that the vast majority of men consume at least some porn. So you'd have to assume o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/11/25 06:24 PM |
| 4 | why do so many men look down on sex workers (escorts, prostitutes, onlyfans model, sugarbabies etc ) but at the same time also consume their services/content?I'm not sure that's even hypocritical. You can celebrate the success of a creator while also criticizing the audience. I think Mad Men is one of the best shows ever made. But it doesn't escape me that a lot of its fans, particularly young men, largely missed the point at the time and instead used it as a prompt for fantasizing that they could drink whiskey at work and slap their secretaries' asses. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/11/25 06:17 PM |
| 2 | why do so many men look down on sex workers (escorts, prostitutes, onlyfans model, sugarbabies etc ) but at the same time also consume their services/content?Traditionally, a woman's value was tied to her "virtue." While many things have changed, this one is still hanging around, though in diminished significance. Call it culture lag. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/11/25 06:12 PM |
| – | How should woman notice that they date all the same men?usually most people ´live in very urbanized parts of the world so there is no direct shortage even if woman would ignore 50% of Men, so the pure chance that woman know each other and date the same guy in a short time is absolutely hilarious low. Not sure why this is a question for women. Anyone with a basic grasp on sociology can answer. The thing is, I live in a city... but I don't really live in a city. I do the vast majority of my living in the relatively small parts of the city that suit my … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/11/25 06:06 PM |
| 1 | What (I think) Every Nice Guy Needs to Hear"Has anyone ever mistaken your kindness for weakness?", and 100% of them will say yes. To be fair, how accurate are people at estimating their own weakness? A woman mistaken as weak will get taken advantage of, and a man mistaken for weak will be tossed out. Weak men absolutely get taken advantage of. But if you're naturally a very giving man, don't be that kind to women you'd like to date. I'm not sure about this. It is rational to try to establish boundaries early. But I think there are also o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/11/25 05:56 PM |
| 2 | You don't need to worry about how age gap relationships are perceived because you'll probably never get to be in oneAround 40% of american adults have experienced an age-gap relationship of at least 10 years. 57% of singles said they'd be open to dating someone 10 years older. We can safely assume that that number drops when specifically isolating "young" women. However, an enormously significant statistical thing often gets overlooked: there are many, many more available women in their 20s than in any other age group. So even a smaller percentage can equal a larger sum. EDIT: Don't worry, I'm in multiple age… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/11/25 05:41 PM |
| – | "Does he like you or does he just wanna sleep with you?" - The false dichotomyYou said "10 women actively wanting him." You didn't say he wanted those 10 women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/11/25 05:10 PM |
| 2 | Does masturbation (with or without porn) inhibit pair bonding for men?Good points. Another is that both high n counts and low pair-bonding could correlate without being causal. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/11/25 05:08 PM |
| 1 | Does masturbation (with or without porn) inhibit pair bonding for men?I'm pretty sure this has been studied a lot Yes and no. There are many studies on this, but the results are inconclusive. Most people don't realize that, because the studies that found negative effects tend to make headlines and get endlessly reshared on social media by anti-porn activists. But if you do a deep dive, you find that roughly the same number of studies found no observable effect. There is no scientific consensus. Second, while I say we have "many" studies, it is probably more accura… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/11/25 05:03 PM |
| – | "Does he like you or does he just wanna sleep with you?" - The false dichotomyI do to. But it's probably not normal. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/11/25 04:57 PM |
| – | "Does he like you or does he just wanna sleep with you?" - The false dichotomyemember, it’s the minority of guys having the majority of sex. Point of clarity: I assume you mean the most casual sex, or the most partners. The men having the most sex are simply those in stable relationships. While at any given time, this is only around a third of young men, a majority have been in at least one relationship at some point. The dudes having a lot of sex can afford to treat women like shit But there's no reason to think they actually do. Negativity bias is a huge factor behind t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/11/25 04:55 PM |
| – | "Does he like you or does he just wanna sleep with you?" - The false dichotomyA fboy is a sex addict. Understanding that neologisms possess somewhat fluid definitions... this is not it. "Fuckboy" usually denotes a man who is primarily interested in sex and pursues that interest through disreputable means--commonly lying, cheating, over-strategizing, disrespectful treatment, and being ostentatiously thirsty. One can be a fuckboy without being sex addicted at all. It's really just a matter of how you treat potential sex partners, not why you want them, that defines the term… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/11/25 04:16 PM |
| – | "Does he like you or does he just wanna sleep with you?" - The false dichotomyIf there’s a dude with 10 women actively wanting him I don’t think any single woman could be good enough to replace nine others Nah. Individual men vary on how much they value variety vs stability. Otherwise attractive men, in general, would never "settle down" into monogamy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/11/25 04:13 PM |
| – | "Does he like you or does he just wanna sleep with you?" - The false dichotomyNot the point, but "fuckboy" actually came from the black community and was slowly popularized by male rappers for decades before breaking through into mainstream discourse. It wasn't until the late 2010s that its current meaning began to solidify. It's hard to say who is responsible or why it became popular. Like most neologisms, it's probably best to see it as the result of a nexus of many diffuse cultural shifts, rather than claiming anyone invented it for any particular reason. > Women will … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/11/25 04:09 PM |
| – | "Does he like you or does he just wanna sleep with you?" - The false dichotomyBUT ask any man what he thinks of a girl that gave him sex freely and he will really treasure the experience and respect the women I wish this were true, but know it isn't. If anything, it reads like satire. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/11/25 03:57 PM |
| 2 | Is it true that men want monogamy and family more than women, or is that a false narrative here?Given that's not new, it wouldnt answer the question "why?". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/11/25 03:38 PM |
| – | The only way to successfully flirt is to be physically attractiveLots of things are complicated, but are still adequately explained. I don't see why flirting should be different. Because individual humans and their dynamics with others vary dramatically.in ways both obvious and subtle, and that before introducing contextual variables like setting, timing and mood. Truthfully, very few complex things can be adequately explained with words. Among those that can, very few successful individuals also happen to have a talent for teaching. That's why so many qualif… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/11/25 08:48 PM |
| 1 | If you're in an age gap relationship, it's better to charge him for your time.Being a sugar baby is just traditional dating without expectations of kids, I would say it's less like dating and more like having an escort on retainer. And sugar babies can, in fact, have kids. Lots of "kept women" fulfill this role. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/11/25 07:50 PM |
| 1 | If you're in an age gap relationship, it's better to charge him for your time.He gets to be with a young woman and you get to be with a older unattractive man? If you're in a relationship, you should probably already find your partner attractive, thus negating your whole premise. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/11/25 07:48 PM |
| – | Help me understand the "not girlfriend material" phenomenonEveryone hates high body counts, including women. I don't buy this. The data shows only that people self-report hating high body counts, and only when presented with photos and information devoid of context and which represent no actual possibility of becoming a real option. In other words, it represents only how people think they'll feel, not how they'll actually feel in real life. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/11/25 07:44 PM |
| – | Help me understand the "not girlfriend material" phenomenonHard agree. Too many men here wish they could win by default. They want to be loved by women who literally don't know any better. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/11/25 07:39 PM |
| – | Help me understand the "not girlfriend material" phenomenon"Yes." That's human nature, isn't it? Each of our relationships exist in their own times and contexts. The meaning we ascribe to each tends to be most powerfully felt in the present. Think of your friends. You've had many over the course of your life. You've had a number of close ones. Each close one is special to you, especially during the heights of the friendships. You don't approach a new close friendship thinking, "Unfortunately, I've had close friends before and thus can't feel it for this… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/11/25 07:38 PM |
| – | Help me understand the "not girlfriend material" phenomenonSo you'd prefer a generation of kids being mocked for their mother's action before they were born? That's your less-sad outcome? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/11/25 07:33 PM |
| – | Help me understand the "not girlfriend material" phenomenonI don't do the madonna-whore thing either. The closest I got to it was caring if my girlfriend was at least as sexually open with me as to any other man in the past. Even here, it occurs to me that just because one does something in the past doesn't mean they wanted to. Even if they did, it doesn't mean they liked it. Even if they did, it doesn't mean they want to keep doing it. And none of these explanation ultimately have anything to do with me. If I really want something she doesn't, we're ju… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/11/25 07:28 PM |
| 4 | You’re not him; play the long game or be aloneIt sounds like this strategy basically boils down to: play the numbers game without the "moving on" part. I suppose that would marginally increase your odds. But you're underselling how much more effort it takes to keep checking in with lots of women, particularly the emotional effort of exponentially increasing the amount of rejection you face for what will seem like a hopeless cause. I have many encounters with women who at first weren't hot on me or initially interested but with enough intera… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/11/25 07:13 PM |
| 4 | Is promiscuity and casual sex just the norm with women nowadays?Its not the norm in the sense that everyone is often. But most people, men and women, have done it at least once or twice. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/11/25 11:04 PM |
| 3 | Women should compete for the Provider Position If they feel Men Have It Easier.Ah. I would have guessed it was some combination of social conditioning, masculine identity, pride and, more cynically, power. But you're saying it's just basic insecurity that they won't be good enough for her without it? Bummer. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/11/25 10:38 PM |
| 12 | Women should compete for the Provider Position If they feel Men Have It Easier.According to studies, more than half want to work. Though that number decreases to roughly half among those with children, understandably. I, for one, would rather not. But to each their own. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/11/25 10:07 PM |
| 7 | Women should compete for the Provider Position If they feel Men Have It Easier.Half of marriages are dual-income, and even more unmarried relationships. And there's every reason to expect that to trend upward. Seems like an outdated modality. And even so, it would at best only explain why men do it. I asked why they want to do it, not why they have to. Studies show men seem to actually "value" being the provider. Strikes me a bit like enjoying paying your taxes... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/11/25 10:00 PM |
| 2 | Men should only bother dating women who would theoretically hookup with themShe's not understanding at all that you are saying "why do you only date men you don't find attractive". That is not what im saying. I take her at her word that she is both attracted to the men she dates and more; as opposed to only attracted to the ones she hooks up with. Im asking why she would not also hook up with the dateable ones, since further relationships can start as well from there as from a second date. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/11/25 09:37 PM |
| 1 | LOOKS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADProbably not his only Instagram, just the public-facing one. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/11/25 08:37 PM |
| 1 | Men should only bother dating women who would theoretically hookup with themI said, that'd be settling Only if you get nothing more than the hookup. Why not both hookup and date? My current partner and I started off as a mutually casually thing. But seeing as we liked each other so much and hung out all the time anyway, there was a natural transition into a relationship once we knew each other better, about 3 months in. We've been together almost 4 years. In fact, OP and at least one other commenter have raised the point of how its not a bad idea to simply choose who to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/11/25 08:17 PM |
| 24 | Women should compete for the Provider Position If they feel Men Have It Easier.Most women want careers these days. Besides, the bigger question is why men want to be providers (as every study says they still do). It was logical when that was the only viable option, but hardly at all anymore. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/11/25 08:12 PM |
| 0 | Men should only bother dating women who would theoretically hookup with themThat would explain why you wouldnt date someone you'd hook up with. But wouldn't you hook up with someone you'd date? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/11/25 08:04 PM |
| 3 | Men should only bother dating women who would theoretically hookup with themThe problem with this is that women like me only hook up with men who we've already vetted as being unfit for dating. OP doesn't say you have to hook up with them. But also, why is that? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/11/25 07:45 PM |
| -1 | In the future, women will push the idea that guys who don’t let their girlfriends do onlyfans and fuck other guys are “insecure”.What's the most logical refutation against "insecure" you can think of? People really seem bent out of shape by that word. To me it seems really simple and widely applicable. And aren't we all insecure, just to different degrees and about different things? I think it's because when someone says "insecure," people hear something like, "this is your own imaginary problem and you have to fix it in therapy instead of expecting other people to help you avoid it." At any rate, I don't know if your pre… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/11/25 05:23 PM |
| 1 | Nuances on spontaneous and responsive desireDating apps make this type of coupling a lot rarer since a woman is less likely to bother going on multiple dates where she might achieve responsive desire when she has a plethora of options with men that she has actual spontaneous desire for. This makes some sense in theory. In my experience, it just doesn't play out that way. Every woman I know on the apps still goes out with men about whose looks they aren't initially certain. If anything, they take more chances with such men than when they a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/11/25 05:11 PM |
| 6 | Trying to be vulnerable(?), talking about past sexual partners is insaneHonestly, this sounds like a compatibility problem, not a "she was wrong" problem. A man better suited to her would be nonplussed by the mention of a previous partner, that's all. From my perspective, a person's romantic and sexual past is obviously an enormous part of their story and who they are. I mean, you realize you're posting in a sub where men regularly make their lack of experience their whole personalities, right? This stuff matters and I'd want anyone I dated to feel safe telling me a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/11/25 05:02 PM |
| 1 | If a Younger Woman With an Older Man Is “After His Money,” Then an Older Woman Should Be Even Moredo you think older women have better personalities than younger women? Generally, yes. And I think most 30+ men with actual experience dating both would agree most of the time. In online spaces like this, older women catch a lot of flack. But in my experience of real life, whenever a man talks about actually dating a younger woman, not just sleeping with her, his peers usually hit him with "But isn't she childish? Isn't she annoying? What could you two possibly have to talk about?" That said, ma… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/11/25 04:43 PM |
| 1 | If a Younger Woman With an Older Man Is “After His Money,” Then an Older Woman Should Be Even MoreI'd say the older men have a definitive edge in personality. They were once the younger men, after all, then had decades of social experience to build from. This is not to say that most older men have good personalities, in my own opinion. Only that there is a decent theoretical reason to assume they'd be more advanced in the dating skill tree than they were 20 levels ago. You may have a point about those who exclusively date young women. I really dont know. But you cant tell, just by looking at… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/11/25 03:28 AM |
| 0 | If a Younger Woman With an Older Man Is “After His Money,” Then an Older Woman Should Be Even MoreIf there are younger, better looking men to choose from but she picks the one that is over the hill, it's easy to draw the conclusion why Only if you assume conventional looks and money are the only two attractive qualities in a person... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/11/25 12:30 AM |
| 1 | Why do you think women want to talk to men?Forcing people to interrupt you is a power play Nope, literally just enjoying my audiobook. Yes, you value your entertainment over other people. Not at all. Im simply not expecting other people. If someone appealing to me were to seek my attention, i would be pleased. If its someone unappealing, I will be annoyed. But the threshold for appealing is the same whether or not im using a device. Thats the message to everyone you project I get that its what people think. It's just not what it actually… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/11/25 07:29 PM |
| 2 | Why do you think women want to talk to men?if you're interested in someone, you might try getting their attention. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/11/25 07:20 PM |
| 3 | Why do you think women want to talk to men?So? I mean, in that situation you're not trying to leave an impression and dont really have to care. But in situations where you're trying to chat, I find moving into their peripheral vision and giving a friendly, slightly embarrassed, wave usually works. If they're not interested, they'll just ignore you and you'll have your answer. What's the actual issue? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/11/25 07:19 PM |
| 2 | Why do you think women want to talk to men?Seems like that issue could be solved by trying just a little bit harder. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/11/25 06:37 PM |
| 2 | The world does not cater to male sexuality.Umm, I would say it very clearly caters to male sexuality. It just doesnt solve it for you. Like, the NBA systematically caters to scorers. But a scorer still has to score. The defense still has to try to stop them. The game is still the game. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/11/25 06:26 PM |
| 2 | Men formulate their questions correctlyI specified before and after sex. I wasnt talking about entirely asexual relationships. But the second part of my argument is that relationships are often not a requisite for sex. Thus the need for clarification. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/11/25 06:17 PM |
| 1 | Most women date men out of convenience and not because they actually like themThe majority of women don't like the majority of men. They don't need to like the majority of men. They only need to like one at a time, minimum, to authentically date. When you have so many options most of the options don't do anything for you when you know you can get better options. I agree that more options typically makes people more picky, even unconsciously. But that doesnt mean they dont love the choices they ultimately make. In fact, havent we heard the opposite argument, that men date … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/11/25 06:12 PM |
| 4 | Why do you think women want to talk to men?I would argue that the prevalence of phones and earphones actually destabilizes their social meaning. It used to be that if someone was walking around glued to a device, they consciously chose not to be bothered. Nowadays, everyone does it by default, so it's much less clear if it means anything. I for instance, am always going to be listening to something if im out walking in public alone. But that has zero significance to who I would and wouldn't want to interrupt me—it's just entertainment. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/11/25 05:51 PM |
| 3 | Why do you think women want to talk to men?I think that its really a cultural issue. So long as the paradigm still involves dating strangers, cold approaching still has a place. And as long as it has a place, both sides should probably endeavor to treat each other with a certain baseline of respect. Obviously people are bound to disagree on what comprises that baseline. But, personally, I think that going out of your way to offend someone for taking a chance on you shows poor character. On another note, its not as though female opinion o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/11/25 05:42 PM |
| 10 | Men formulate their questions correctlySex is way more than 1% of a relationship I suspect they were estimating average time allocation, while you're estimating subjective importance. You don’t even have a relationship without it. That isnt true. Its understandable that you may not want such a relationship. But a relationship begins whenever it is agreed upon by both parties and ends when it is decided by at least one. In either case, it can be significantly before or after sex. If, for example, you and your girlfriend stop having se… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/11/25 03:32 PM |
| 2 | Men formulate their questions correctlyexpect the same clear answers it automatically implies Clarity and implication are somewhat conflicting concepts. In fact, men will often protest that this is not what they mean. because sex is a basic and essential part of a romantic relationship. It can be, in most relationships. But to be clear, sex isnt actually a necessary condition for a relationship. More commonly, it is easy to see that a romantic relationship is nowhere near a necessary condition for sex. From your argument, it sounds l… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/11/25 03:22 PM |
| 1 | This is the worst decade to be dating.act like this is all contained within this one sub Certainly not. There are many subs, and websites, and youtube channels, and unmoderated message boards, and discord channels, and so on. But they all fit the pattern of attracting their desired audience from all over the world, in many cases the exact same individuals. It's a feature of this particular age of information technology—tell people with grievances a place to go and they will seek them out and, looking around at their numbers, be pers… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/11/25 02:27 AM |
| 0 | This is the worst decade to be dating.I can't fully answer this without a whole essay into the history and causes. But let me try to keep this brief. why are they dissatisfied The Freudian conflict between self and society? Every society in every era has bred discontents. It has, however, never been easier for them to "meet" and unite and form echo chambers in which their complaints are further reified. why this place This is essentially a sub for debating dating culture targeting those who are already inclined to look at it through… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/11/25 01:08 AM |
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