There’s a notion that only Chad has casual sex because women are only sexually attracted to Chad.That got me thinking: in my 19 year career of dating as an adult highly active in nightlife, how many average or below-average men have I seen get casual sex?

The answer is virtually ALL of them. The only ones who didn’t do it occasionally were the ones who had some religious or moral conviction about only having sex in serious relationships. They’re all married with kids now.

When I think about what kind of selection bias must be working on me here, it’s obvious to note that these were all guys I knew at least enough to have observed this way—it’s not like I know the dating history of every man I pass on the street. These men all had one thing in common: they were regularly out socializing around me.

This leads me to a conclusion I think would be helpful for at least some of you. Getting randomly laid as a hot guy is mostly just about deciding you want to. You go out and chat with a few girls who are mostly happy you’ve taken an interest and go home with whichever one strikes the right balance of Hot and Chill. But getting randomly laid as an average guy is all about being in the right place at the right time. If you go to enough parties, bars, shows and events with a well-cultivated social network, you’re putting yourself in a position where opportunities will occasionally just cross your path.

Obviously, if you don’t like big social events, this can seem like a lot of work. If you do like them, this is just having fun the way you would be doing anyway. For those of you in between, I would strongly suggest trying to get into it and building a social network from there.