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Flavius_Aetius Archive

View 0 posts and 33 comments by Flavius_Aetius on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Spot on about the bored easily. Most of my "hobbies" follow a very predictable path: interest, followed by obsessive reading, watching u-tube videos, then saving for gear, then a year or two doing the hobby until I am "good enough," then onto something else. For example, I got into woodworking for a year. Read every woodworking book I could get my hands on, saved up for some cool tools. started on some small projects, decided to build a bookcase. built and then destroyed 3 bookcases until I had …
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/15 11:26 PM
1

Perhaps I didn't explain myself clearly. I am unlike many of the folks here in that I didn't "slip into" being beta out of laziness; I have been programmed this way my whole life. I am the teacher's pet, "old reliable," "George" from Its a Wonderful Life (always hated that movie, now I understand why). Thus, just "lifting more"/being assertive is not going to cut it. . My whole life, I have measured my own self-worth by what others think of me/gold stars/good grades/promotions, etc..sex from fem…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/15 03:31 PM
0

You think she is going to pick after the kid when the toys start piling up?
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/15 05:24 AM
5

In my case, so long as I look at sex as a "reward" for lifting/acting "manly", etc., I will not make any personal progress and will simply increase my bitterness and resentfulness, and depression. Not much difference between thinking "oh, I get flowers and do romantic stuff, then I get laid" vs "oh, I lift weights and boss her around, then I get laid." In both cases you are viewing sex as a reward or expected outcome . Better for my overall mental well-being to just do my own thing.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/15 10:57 PM
4

6 years married 2.5 mo. post unplugging. Short term sex game vs. long-term personal happiness. ...Not saying that RP techniques don't get you laid. But, removing the "power" she has over me is essential to me not giving a fuck and focusing on my self.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/15 10:49 PM
2

"She is ALWAYS, 100% late to everything, everywhere, everyday. If she has 10 hours to go somewhere, she will be running like a maniac 10 minutes before in spite of knowing the time was passing by." --Must be my wife's twin sister. Many an argument over this. What I have started doing is if it is a joint outing, I just get ready in plenty of time and then make regular announcements as to the time and the time of our appointment. If she starts running really late, I will just get in the car and te…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/05/15 07:13 AM
1

I think it is normal and part of the transition process. As a new Rper, I will relay my experiences with my wife. My wife is still in the "defensive" stage. Makes comments about my new "my way or the highway" attitude. Threw a fit I re-arranged the boy's room, not because she didn't like what I did, but because "I didn't consult her first." Calls me sexist for not treating her as a partner in all our decisions. I simply chose not to engage and avoid even acknowledging her "feelings" other than a…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/05/15 07:05 AM
3

This is why "rape" is now defined to include "regret sex" and why on college campuses, a young man can be expelled and have his life ruined if he and an acquaintance get drunk and make bad decisions. Man is responsible for everything and, under a feminist worldview, can be held criminally liable at the whim of her hamster.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/05/15 08:12 PM
5

Can you help me understand why that got you all rattled? I read that and said: "She is being bitchy and flipping out over nothing." I don't get it. She said some irrational shit via text and you are ready to see a divorce attorney and worried about a DM allegation? WTF. Does. Not. Compute.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/15 10:47 PM
1

I must have watched Fight Club and Office Space 5 times in the last month. Both movies are "cool" and "funny" but have some pretty damn good life lessons if you can take them to heart. The trouble is that on the one hand we are supposed to "be successful and desirable" but are not supposed to be someone else's bitch. Unfortunately, "success" in the professional world (i.e. working for any decent-sized company) usually requires being a beta-bitch yes man. The three lessons from those movies are: …
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/15 06:17 PM
1

The "not following her" or "not comforting her when crying" has been very tough for me, but I have successfully resisted the last few weeks. Successful resistance is usually met with pouting after the tears stop and an eventual return to the status quo. But, the more you resist, the less frequent the tantrums become. Sad to say, but it really is like ignoring your 2 year old when they throw a fit. Put them in a corner, walk away, and let the shit run its course. The hardest part about redpill fo…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/15 05:15 PM
1

Silence on a room with 2 attorneys is s rarity.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/15 10:34 PM
1

I can only work so many things at once. yes, I need to cut down on beer. ..but I only had 1 last night. If I had not gone to gym, it would have been 3-4.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/15 10:33 PM
1

Where you pissed and raging when you said it? I had a similar incident last night. In my case, while I generally swear like a sailor (something I need to work on), I rarely ever swear AT my wife. Last night she said something very insulting and untrue, just trying to get under my skin. After a long pause, my response was a stern, slow: " Fuck. You. " She was taken aback and said "Did you really just say that to me?" I responded: "If you honestly believe what you just said to me, then yes, 'Fuck.…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/15 04:31 AM
1

Ahhh...epicurean logic. Philo 202 in college Often misinterpreted by hedonists, epicurean philosophy can distilled down to "they key to happiness to be seek pleasure by avoiding matters that cause or result in displeasure." "Pleasure" is the absence of pain. Pain is caused by pursuing short-term "pleasurable" things (drinking, sex, money). A lot of parallels with Buddhism and Confucianism.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/04/15 02:42 PM
1

After reading more through NNMNG (which is blowing my mind) , I now realize this whole event and aftermath was 100% beta behavior based on my NG programming: 1) going out with co-workers and staying for "one more" = seeking group approval and validation by pleasing others; 2) seeking approval and validation via the sexual encounter (that nugget in the book explains so much of my life and which is why a part of me still feels "good" that someone was interested in my cock) ; 3) telling my wife = t…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/04/15 02:35 PM
1

I have the same issue. I know when I am getting worked up and know I shouldn't, but I cant get it under control without exercising to exhaustion or leaving for a long time and coming back. Its easy to say you need to reason with yourself not to do it, but the whole problem is when I start raging, I am not acting rationally, the blood pressure is up, and I am like a pressure cooker that needs to vent before completely exploding. Any advice or techniques to control this is real time besides "take …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/15 01:41 PM
2

Huffpo article that supports this: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/erica-manfred/why-marriage-counseling-d_b_860493.html "According to the New York Times two years after ending marital counseling twenty-five percent of couples are worse off than they were when they started, and after four years thirty-eight percent are divorced." Basically says marriage counselors don't now what the fuck they are doing
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/15 04:26 AM
1

"So what do you from here? If you want to stay married, which is kind of the purpose of this subreddit, then you need to ghost your coworker/fuckbuddy and not bring it up with your wife, not even tangentially. Read the comments from the other posters and keep reading and lifting and improving yada yada." Thanks. All the rest is just bs rationalizing.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/15 08:37 PM
1

"We all know why he cheated, its because he felt the rush of adrenaline from once again finding his sexual appeal." Pretty much this.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/15 08:33 PM
2

I don't understand you. You agree this was a total fuck up on my part and yet you think I should not have told her. Can you please explain that disconnect? I can understand the view point that "you did what you needed to do, now shut up about it and deal with it," but do not understand yours.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/15 06:41 PM
1

If you accept the premise that it was a mistake, then IMHO, telling my wife WAS "owning my shit" and taking responsibility for my actions. What good does it do?: Lets her know I am being honest; prevents further damage caused when she finds out through other means; allows me to get back "in frame" by admitting my mistake; (while not intended), lets her know I have other options
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/15 06:02 PM
1

The two very different messages I am getting here reflects why I made this post to begin with. On the one hand: I fucked up by letting it get to this point, by getting drunk, breaking frame, and jeopardizing my marriage because I craved female attention and gave into my impulses. On the other hand: Man has needs, wife has been withholding, and I got those needs taken care of when the opportunity arose.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/15 05:10 PM
3

Mostly my wedding vows. I promised to do something and did not. [edit: This is why I made this post, as I am internally conflicted on how to think about this. Half of me says, biggest mistake of my life. The other half says, I needed to get some and got some.]
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/15 05:02 PM
1

So, the advice here is to tell my wife I cheated because she was not putting out? "Hey honey, just so you know, I cheated because you have been ignoring me and my needs and turned into an unattractive slob"? While literally true, I don't think that will have the desired effect. I planted part of the "seed" of this truth by saying that "the incident" was purely physical and that I wasn't overly attracted to the co-worker. I think any more talk about it at this point is going to be counterproducti…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/15 04:56 PM
1

I realize the beta-things are ineffective. I had a complete lapse back to beta behavior when I confessed this and handled it completely wrong. I was totally acting on emotion. And, no I didn't tell her I "needed to get it from somewhere." Re: talking; since the confession, I have not talked about it with her; if your comment about talking was in reference to the post itself, I came here for guidance after a big eff up.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/15 04:19 PM
2

My wife cried. She said she forgave me, after I told her it never happened before and would never happen again. She said "how could I be so naïve--I thought you were different, but I guess everyone is right that all men cheat." There is certainly a "cold front" in the house and all interactions seem much more measured. She is a bit stand offish. A few snide comments here and there, which I have ignored. Our kid got sick this weekend, so we came together as a family for that. She held my hand in …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/15 04:14 PM
1

never said I was "red pill," just that this incident occurred after having regained some confidence after reading red pill material. I recognize (and indicated as such) that the flowers/poem is reverting to beta behavior and is not wanted. In short, I understand I am "weak sauce", that I fucked up, and am trying to move forward. [EDIT: Re: the title, I completely take ownership of my mistake. I am not deflecting responsibility. wife does not know about TRP. The title simply references the fact t…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/15 03:59 PM
1

Yes, I realize I fucked up...big time. That's a given. And, I realize things can never be "undone." Posted this as more of a warning to other life-beta newbs than a piss piece. If anything, the incident has made me understand just how messed up I am and how far I have to go. If I was truly self-confident, I would not have given in and would not have the part of me that feels good about it.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/15 03:56 PM
1

I agree on the job...but that is easier said than done. Luckily, I did not really succumb the golden handcuffs syndrome (no fancy car, modest house, lots of savings)...but I do have "fluffy pillow syndrome"--i.e., I like being able to (mostly) buy shit we need (new door, snowblower) and not have to worry about it. My biggest fear with downgrading is losing that comfort level and having to scrape bye like my parents did. ( I see now all my beta behavior was in reaction to my parents....didn't wan…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/15 03:00 PM
1

Another newbie here. My wife has been flipping since I adopted the new mindset. "TRP" has not been fully digested yet, but she obviously knows something is up and is not happy with it. My strategy thus far has been one of non-engagement and calm instruction. "I want x, I am doing x. I am sorry your feelings are hurt, but this has nothing to do with you" and go about my day. I too, walked out the other day. When asked where I was, I simply said "out: don't worry, I am not drunk and did not fuck a…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/15 02:38 PM
1

Not divorcing wife now. I want a stable, good family and need to work on it by taking charge as the head of household and getting respect by being a man. If she doesn't accept THAT...then the situation may change. Right now I am working on fixing the situation. Wife was not happy with my new "frame" last night. Started crying when I started picking up the house. She tried to pick a fight (said I wanted "a trophy wife and a maid" and was sick of my "my way or the highway attitude"). I refused to …
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/15 03:00 PM
1

Thanks or the responses so far. Sobering but helpful. I agree I need to handle the job situation before dealing with family. The situation is, I am a worker bee, a decently paid worker bee, but I do insurance litigation and appeals, and all my work is handed down from others (i.e. no clients of my own)--hence the reason I am (used to be) a bitch. Situation will not be better at another firm. Either you are a guy-smiley hukster with connections that brings in clients or a worker bee of some sort.…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/04/15 09:01 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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