I'm afraid, help.

wantonton · 2015-04-30T20:23:02+00:00

Just based off of what you posted, I don't think she could do anything with just that. Moreover, I don't think she intends to (unless there's more to the story than you've shared.)

I think she's shaming you for control. Most western men are taught to be ashamed of their desires--especially their sexual desire. It makes it easy for society to control us and easy for women to manipulate us. What's threatening about your wanting to fuck her? What's wrong with it? She's a woman; you're a man. You find her attractive. You want to fuck her. What's wrong with that?

No part of that says you want to rape her. No part of that says you want to assault her. No part of that says you'd do anything without her consent. It does seem to indicate you want to fully indulge in your sexual desires with her, but how is that a problem? It also seems to indicate you want her to fully indulge in her desire to fuck yo and be fucked by you. How is that a problem in either her feeling that for you or you wanting her to feel that?

Man up. You need to have no problem looking her dead in the eyes and saying you want to fuck her pussy. You want to make her scream. You want her to collapse in exhaustion and ecstasy from the way you railed her. Tell her you want her legs over your shoulders with her feet pointed towards the air with her moans and screams forcing her mouth as wide as her gaping pussy. You know damn good and well you want that. You also know you're afraid to admit it. She knows both of those things too.

To clarify. You should be able to convey/say all of the above without implying you'd do any of it against her will. But, you can get soft dread by being very clear about what you want (clear for women is implied not stated). Let her hamster spin comparing what you clearly want with what it is she's actively giving you.

theultmatecad · 2015-04-30T20:24:14+00:00

Wife: When we aren't being intimate, telling me you are going to fuck me later is vulgar and somewhat threatening. That's what I was saying.

its a shit test--- agree and amplify

You're right baby, Im gonna make sweet love to you tonight

NiftyDolphin · 2015-04-30T20:25:57+00:00

You went from creepily sexting your wife to talking to a divorce attorney in one day...

Just needed some thoughts from the MRP'rs.

Don't troll the sub?

BluepillProfessor · 2015-04-30T20:52:07+00:00

You are letting her shit test you and failing bad by going beta/apologetic. Don't fall for it. It is NOT vulgar for a husband to say he is going to fuck his wife. This indicates that she is not attracted to you. Your solution is to increase you SMV until she is.

Read up on Amused Mastery over in Rational Male.

Also, if you seriously think she is setting you up for a DV, why are you even with this woman? Don't fall for the white knight victim blaming bullshit and turn into captain save-a-ho.

If she is not putting out you go lift/ignore her because you are to busy to put up with those types of games. If she is putting out you give her your positive frame and attention.

If she is Shit Testing like that ignore her as you would a child trying to push your buttons.

TLDR: Stop reacting to her denials and stop reacting to her subsequent shit tests.

Flavius_Aetius · 2015-04-30T22:47:03+00:00

Can you help me understand why that got you all rattled? I read that and said: "She is being bitchy and flipping out over nothing."

I don't get it. She said some irrational shit via text and you are ready to see a divorce attorney and worried about a DM allegation? WTF. Does. Not. Compute.

Countpudyoola · 2015-04-30T20:24:07+00:00

Lurk more, read more.

You're shooting from the hip, advancing from points of weakness.

Text game = hard, also not a good place to start trying to up the tingles as it's worse than not looking her in the eye...it's totally absent.

Order of impact in increasing magnitude:

Letter/Email
Text
Phone
In fucking person

Also dirty talk= not for everyone

I can do the dirtiest shit to my wife, saying I'm about to do the same shit via text = her grossed out {and this is past tense as I did failingly try as well a while back}. So know your target audience. I had a gf once totally into graphic sex messages and phone calls. My wife...not her, so I don't treat her the same.

So while you can gradually shift the perception of your persona don't try to sell something completely out of character. And if you're not confident you can sell it, don't attempt it as being shot down at a failed attempt or a last minute "You're right / jk" and you're going to look like a douchenozzle.

You may be attempting too much too fast.

And on the worry and paranoia. That's inside of you, but also if you're feeling like something you're doing is weird...that's the vibe you're going to put out.

Keep lifting but try adding something like meditation as well.

ian_cman · 2015-04-30T20:36:57+00:00

I've got a 2month old, so I recently was in your shoes. It's all about actions not words.

Sexting didn't do shit for me. I'd be telling her the nasty things I was going to do to her while I was at work and when I got home it was all about the kids, dinner, baths, bedtime...... Basically its just a simple diversion for her during the day that she didn't have to put any effort into.

I wanted sex, I had to initiate. Groping, slapping, tickling, massages, waiting 5 minutes after she started her shower(thanks Athol) all worked for me. Shit, sometimes I just starting to jerk off in bed and she would finish me off by hand.

My advice is to take sex when you want it, and if she denies, you just walk away. Don't pout or talk about things right after she shuts it down. Go lift and get back in bed. Be outcome independent. Good luck.

rygar_the_red · 2015-04-30T21:04:56+00:00

I don't think that single exchange is worth leaving the house over. It's your house, you should stay under almost any circumstance.

My opinion, regardless of what used to be true, is to leave the texting be permanently and move on like it didn't happen.

I am seeing guys get themselves into stupid situations more and more often because of texting, but not seeing any more success stories thay stem from it.

The potential downsides are many, and the likelihood of any kind of texting being the thing that turns things around for the better seems like near zero to me.

The way of the red pill man is don't talk, but do.

Actions, not words.

Texting does not fit into the plan.

rediscover03 · 2015-04-30T22:03:55+00:00

An exchange with my wife, via text, one day:

"Do you want to get a hotel room or just go home after the concert?"

"Well, do you want to fuck in a hotel room or fuck at home?"

"Why does everything have to be vulgar? why can't it every be about just being together?"

"Well, do you want to be together in a hotel room or be together at home?"

... 3 minutes later ...

"I got a premium suite."

Once you get past the anger stage and start realizing the that the direct logic makes complete sense... you start to understand what RP is all about. you lack OI... I mean true OI. You may say to yourself that "I don't care if she doesn't want to have sex" but you do. You need to actually not care.

Fucking your wife and wanting to fuck your wife and telling her you want to fuck her is not vulgar. If it is, then I'm vulgar. Don't like it? don't fuck me. Don't want to fuck me. Fine someone else will.

This is the attitude you need to keep in your head at all times. Because one day you may need to adhere to it and you need to be ready so its not a shock.

RP'ers are realists... in MRP we don't necessarily want to divorce our wives (divorce rape aside) but we recognize that the issue may present itself and we prepare, every day, for that day.

womanwithaquestion2 · 2015-05-01T07:01:18+00:00

She married you less than a year ago and then decided to have a child with you. It seems weird that you'd think she's so unhappy in the marriage already that she'd be planning divorce or criminal prosecution of the father of her child. Her comments sound like comfort tests to me. She's feeling unattractive, and angry and confused at the changes she's going through. Maybe she's still struggling with how to reconcile being a sexual partner and a soon to be mom, or worried that you will be put off by the changes her body is going through. Reassure her that seeing her so fertile and glowing turns you on. The second trimester was an amazing time in the bedroom for me and many of the women I know, so hang in there, and don't stop providing the tingles. Definitely don't leave your house for any reason, and step up with your vision for your new family.

Read the parenting books, learn how to open the stroller, and take a leading role in your baby's life right away. Tell her to take her vitamins, be involved in her birth plan, tell her your ideas about her future career plans if she's going back to work afterwards. She's got a lot on her mind and she'll feel able to look to you for leadership if you're a rock, no matter what kind of emotional crap she's throwing. You'll see the rewards in your relationship after the baby arrives. Even if I was demanding my husband to leave in some crazy pregnant lady tantrum, I would expect him to weather the storm like an oak.

Pregnant women can be crazy and hard to live with, but think of it as an investment in your future when she's back to normal again. It's super important that she sees that nothing is going to make you abdicate the fathering role of your child. Even if a woman was bat-shit crazy, I could never respect a man who abandoned a woman while she was carrying his child. Don't be that guy.

rediscover03 · 2015-05-04T14:37:45+00:00

Shrug it off. She's trying to shame you. It's one of the many times she will.

And stop being such a scared cat. You've only been married 1 year, divorce rape is minimal in your case. Go see an attorney, make a plan in case you need it.

Title	I'm afraid, help.
Author	at_wits_end_already
Upvotes	2
Comments	22
Date	April 30, 2015 7:51 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/34frzg/im_afraid_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/im-afraid-help.202019 https://theredarchive.com/post/202019

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