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FoxeyLady1967 Archive

View 3 posts and 123 comments by FoxeyLady1967 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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17

White woman here. I grew up in an area with a large Asian population (and date mostly white/Asian men) and I think this is true. The white woman + Asian man pairings aren't nearly as common but are 100% less creepy than the other way around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 03:03 AM
2

You can't customize your feed for specific people, but you can restrict people from interacting with your posts and stories. You can also archive pictures, and then restore them to your feed again later with the original post data intact.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 02:29 AM
3

Unless you have zero other options due to lack of education and opportunities, engaging in sex work is actively participating in and profiting off of a system that oppresses and abuses women. I don't buy that porn can be ethical.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 02:07 AM
4

My dad is by far the most generous (and least greedy) person I know, and I can't express enough gratitude for the opportunities he gave me. He's bought me some pretty awesome things (my Bachelor's degree, my 1st car, my stand mixer, front-row concert tickets to see our fave bands together, meals at amazing restaurants) but what I appreciate the most is that we get to spend time together. He's my #1 always. <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 04:36 PM
3

I'm rooting for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 05:30 AM
2

Marriage isn't an unproblematic institution but if you want kids and you don't "believe" in marriage, then I assume you don't want the best for your kids because you're shouting "Pick Me!" from the roof tops. Not saying this about you, just in general.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 02:43 PM
3

Not a mom but I grew up with my grandma who has uBPD and my answer is: boundaries. BPD parents (an extreme example of a parent who lacks boundaries/has extreme separation anxiety from her children) will often raise children who are incompetent (or at least ineffective), horrible at setting their own boundaries/codependent, impulsive (e.g. men who make really, really bad choices/prioritize short over long term) etc. I'm convinced that the best thing a mother can do for (both her sons and daughter…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 02:27 PM
3

Huge Stones fan here but I spit out my tea laughing. You're spot on. How is he still getting laid? Why? LOL.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 02:00 PM
3

Agreed. OP, you won't regret making a personal investment in your career - but your career shouldn't be your sole focus. Sometimes success is about setting effective boundaries on your time so you avoid burnout. You will need to be more efficient about dating, and more discerning. Perhaps you can meet men through a trusted friend group or relative. Also, being busy with your career is a great way to keep you from getting too invested in a relationship too soon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 01:45 PM
47

I'm pro-choice and I think women have the right to choose not to have an abortion, but we don't do ourselves any favors by letting these kinds of men pass their genes onto the next generation. 🤢 And then spending our bodies, our time, and our material resources making sure these kids turn out right...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 11:43 PM
15

You continue to give him chances and his behavior hasn't changed. Remember: actions speak louder than words! You say that you don't tolerate his behavior, but your actions say otherwise. A friend/former coworker proposed to his fiancée after 2 years together. He told me that his brother and his brother's girlfriend have been together for ~7 years, but his brother hasn't proposed. He told me in no uncertain terms, "If a man hasn't proposed after a few years then he doesn't want to marry you." (An…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 11:40 PM
2

Parenthood is hard, and I think kids do better when they have two married, loving, parents who enjoy being parents even when things get tough. You can't do everything on your own, and I think having a support system or good spouse is crucial. Also kids aren't a replacement for strong relationships/friendships, or even self-fulfillment. They are innocent human beings who deserve to be guided by whole, self-actualized people to become the best versions of themselves. They need structure and a good…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 02:22 AM
18

Ugh, I'm too much information. Not just a problem I have with men. I'm working on that one too though. Gl to you. <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 01:49 AM
72

Oh - there's a lot. Setting and enforcing boundaries. Not getting attached too fast. Not chasing men. But I love FDS because I struggle with these things. Gotta be mindful of the problem before you can make changes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 01:29 AM
1

It's kind of like when someone is busy, the least they can do is let you know they're preoccupied and will reach out when they have a chance. A man (vs. a baby) will let you know he's not ready to discuss what happened but that he wants to work through it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 01:20 AM
4

This is how I'd approach someone who's disappointed me: Acknowledge the emotion(s) caused by your actions/words - "I'm hurt", "I'm angry", etc. without resorting to blame and personal attacks e.g. "You're crazy", "You always jump to conclusions" Clarify what I need from and take space so we can approach the problem rationally - "I want space tonight, we can discuss this again tomorrow" When we discuss the mistake later on, rather than assigning blame try to understand what motivated the other pe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 01:15 AM
22

I agree. I think men are surprisingly honest about who they are and what they want. A lot of women think with their heart and not their head and choose to ignore red flags. The smart/sleezy (sadly often a combination of both) men see this is happening and use that to actually manipulate women, at least to get sex out of us because "Why not?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 12:47 AM
20

He does think he's unique. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 12:14 AM
77

Yes. A man can recognize your value and not commit simply because he doesn't want to. Everyone's heard stories of a man who magically changes his behavior because he meets "the one". But the truth is that he's met plenty of amazing women before "the one". He just decided that he was ready to lock down the next HVW he met. Before he decides to settle down, he will breadcrumb women and treat us poorly not because we're low value but because most of us accept less than we deserve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 12:08 AM
80

No dick is worth risking your health, your family's health or the public health. Good call.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 11:37 PM
3

The good-old fashioned "HaVe YoU tRiEd CoMmUnIcAtInG?!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 10:14 PM
16

One of the things I appreciated about Hinge was that you can see most people's last names when you match. The ones who opted not to show this information always struck me as suspect. Don't forget to figure out where his area code is from and where he went to school and search records for those areas/institutions too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 09:12 PM
4

Holy shit you are SPOT ON about cute. I didn't realize why it bothered me so much until I read this comment, but it's so true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 03:42 AM
3

Fertility doesn't precipitously drop off by the age of 30. Nor are women over 30, even over 35, doomed to undergo rounds of IVF only to give birth to sub-quality babies. Fertility declines with age, and the quality of one's eggs declines with age. But outcomes for children also increase with an increase in the mother's education level, overall health, and marital status. I'm 25. There's no way I'd be a good position financially, emotionally, etc. to become a mother. Now let's step a little furth…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 03:39 AM
3

I've only heard a few episodes but I also recommend the podcast!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 01:23 AM
3

I'm floored by how gross the hat is, yet the sticker is still there. No words.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 01:22 AM
11

I need to tack onto your comment because I can't express this opinion strongly enough: a guy who shows too much interest early on is creepy, and a guy who shows too much interest in a woman he's never met is super creepy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 01:18 AM
1

I've heard the opposite on the job market for path, but that may be due to lack of popularity and networking opportunities. I've met several MEs who say there's a need for more, but few are interested. Money isn't an issue for me, I love surgery but I need balance so path or derm are the best choices for me. And I'm a weirdo, so path has a special place in my heart. :-)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 05:54 PM
37

I'd be concerned if someone wanted to be exclusive after two dates. But it's strange to bring up that he's seeing other women. How many other women? Is he sleeping with any of them? Also, is he lying to make you try harder? Does he really have integrity or is he going to be "honest" about other things in the future... "I cheated on you but it was just one time?" Given everything else that's going on in the world, if he's still seeing other people I'd cut him off. Don't put up with weird stuff ju…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 08:25 PM
12

Also ladies if that crusty guy you're thinking about isn't texting you back even though y'all are home all day he doesn't reeeeally wanna talk to you. 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 06:53 AM
3

I hope this can be a learning experience, and that you will find someone who wants to work through future disagreements with you in a healthy and productive way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 11:45 PM
11

You should still edit it out. Anyone from California can easily figure out what city you're talking about. :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 11:04 PM
10

Because you confronted and blamed this guy, you shouldn't be surprised he decided to phase you out. Because at FDS we'd advise you to do the same thing if the genders were reversed. Did you have a right to be upset? Maybe. Does he have a right to decide he's no longer interested? Yes. Blame is an awful communication strategy. The only healthy way to deal with a disagreement is to have a calm and rational discussion where neither person is blaming the other, but they work through the problem toge…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 10:58 PM
7

A lot of people are on Tinder and I think most women "use" Tinder the way you do. They swipe some and chat, then guys get toasty about us not wanting to meet up right away. Men think apps (not just Tinder) are for hooking up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 10:43 PM
3

R.I.P., I hope her family gets justice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 10:36 PM
3

Even though younger people tend to have less symptoms or be asymptomatic, the long-term consequences of Covid-19 aren't known. Reducing the risk of vertical transmission (from mother to baby) is still important, for example because an infected infant can put healthcare workers at risk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 10:34 PM
24

The easiest way you can get better matches is to take better pictures. If you don't enjoy being photographed regularly ask a friend who does photography or modeling to help you, and spend a day or two getting a series of shots you can use exclusively for dating apps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 03:51 AM
2

I'm resilient, adaptable, creative, open, intelligent, hard working, and passionate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 01:48 AM
2

You sound awesome!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 01:47 AM
17

I'm pretty sure the average woman has enough social skills for like, 50 dudes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 01:41 AM
26

Even when I was a Pickmeisha and said stupid shit like "I like men who are dominant" I had enough common sense to know these guys are just bitter lmao, really makes you think about how broken a poor woman has to be to think this guy is good news. :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 01:40 AM
2

You can use your phone number instead of your FB profile for some dating apps (not sure about Tinder). That being said if a guy uses OLD I can pretty much guarantee he has at least one social media profile, even if he doesn't use it or is super low key with social media.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 01:30 AM
2

Take the MCAT Read a book a month Spend time doing creative things! Start exercising Meditate and be more spiritual
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 01:51 AM
4

I think the AMA now recommends bilateral salpingectomy for preventing ovarian cancer and, since you have no tubes, it's the most effective form of sterilization and can be done laparoscopically. If you have any cancer risk in your family at all this may be some fuel you need to ensure the procedure is covered. Something to consider!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/19 12:26 AM
19

The good ones get and stay in relationships, leaving the smart people with no social skills, status-hungry assholes, etc. Most med and grad students I know (who have stable relationships/are engaged) meet people through school or close friend groups... so I'd take advantage of your med school friends if you want to date med students or physicians instead of using OLD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/19 12:16 AM
6

Piggy-backing on your comment because I was raised by my dad and my grandma (she has BPD). I learned a lot of negative behaviors/coping strategies from my grandma and my dad wasn't equipped to protect me from this because he too grew up with her abuse. When I learned that my grandma probably has BPD a fog that covered my life and the lives of my dad and aunt was lifted. I think we understand each other so much better now and have had productive conversations working toward a healthier family dyn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/19 10:40 PM
5

Both parents are to blame. A woman who marries a man who wants a replacement mommy, will raise a son who marries a replacement mommy. The father won't model respect for women or contribute to the household and the mother will just accept this and do more work. Then the son learns this is normal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/19 10:24 PM
2

Even as a woman who has a high sex drive, I'm not an animal who needs to have sex constantly. When I'm in a relationship I enjoy the opportunity to have sex often, but when I'm not in a relationship I'm able to function with inconsistent and extended periods of time without sex. The last guy I had sex with, is a relationship-minded person and we had sex four months after we kissed (I said no in the beginning and later changed my mind). Even though he also has a high sex drive he never pressured …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/19 09:53 PM
47

I think these guys are scared that we're going to accuse them of sexual assault and it's like... have you tried... being respectful... and asking for consent... and not trying to sleep with women who are impaired by drugs and alcohol...? But you're totally right that they're outright pervs because if they were actually decent people then they wouldn't need to wear a body cam for "legal reasons".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/19 04:21 PM
31

When I started college I met a guy who told me he had a crush on me by the second week of school (we saw each other only in class before then, and once at orientation), and then tried to unload on me about his depression. I was just shocked. How could I possibly help someone I don't know, even if for some insane reason I wanted to give him free therapy? For fuck's sake, dude, I have my own problems.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/19 04:16 PM
21

This is super common where I am. A lot of people get married later but there are a surprising number of mid-20s who are getting engaged to college sweethearts they've been dating for 2-3 years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/19 04:08 PM
4

When he's a bigger cat lady than I am. NO thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/19 03:09 AM
19

He's not on the lease. You're within your legal rights to give him 30 days notice. If he's unable to move his things then he should ask a friend to do so for him. You're making excuses for keeping him there. I’m only being the bad guy to MYSELF by allowing him to keep his stuff here since the breakup. Yes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/19 02:08 AM
9

(The answer is yes, you should ghost).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 11:56 PM
5

He's a narcissist. They're very charming and manipulative. When you're 16 and not getting attention from boys, these kind of people can trick you into thinking you're special and they care. Not only that but I was raised by someone with a PD. You learn tons of maladaptive crap growing up with those kind of people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 11:39 PM
2

We're not Facebook friends. We have enough previous message history and mutuals that Facebook lets his trash come straight to my inbox.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 11:32 PM
75

Yes, I’m kink-shaming you. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. 😂🏆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 06:58 AM
1

How often are you going to them for support?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 06:52 AM
1

I saw one of your other comments and girl, I think you'd be so much happier if you focus on making a better set of friends, than you would be with this dusty guy. Everyone needs at least one friend who has her back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 06:44 AM
2

If this is someone that you recently met and you're in the beginning stages of dating, I don't think it's advisable or appropriate to ask for emotional support. Especially over text message. You already texted him once before your day got shitty and he didn't respond to you. I don't know what you sent earlier but clearly it wasn't a priority for him to respond. If you still need someone to talk to, go to a close friend. And drop this guy. He doesn't care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 06:32 AM
19

Haha I love this trash emoji! So accurate. <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 06:14 AM
23

Thank you! I used to respond when he messaged me because it was hard to completely ignore someone who'd been a part of my life for so long. But it was never worth it! Time, and new experiences, and self-respect all put things into perspective for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 06:13 AM
18

I personally think a year is too short and would be more comfortable accepting a ring from someone I'd known for 2 years. The exception would be someone I've known for years. However the principle of the idea is sound: both you and the man should know reasonably soon whether marriage is on the table. The extra time is only to make sure no deal breakers come out following the honeymoon phase. There's no scenario where you should stay in a relationship past a year without saying "I love you" or di…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 04:04 AM
6

Sense of humor is important but the essential component for long term success is shared values. And obviously this guy doesn't even have values because he jokes about killing babies. WTF?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/19 02:09 AM
5

I love this so much. Your username, the word goldicock, and the truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/19 03:22 AM
9

Yup! P.S., you can leash train some dog-minded cats. Could be fun.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/19 02:25 AM
16

Absolutely! These men expect you to maintain the status quo. They're not proactive communicators. They will fight and blame you when you hold them accountable. A real HVM works with you to solve relationship problems because he knows you're not going to stick around for a bad deal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/19 02:21 AM
21

I'm a tiny person, the largest man I've been with was 8" and I hated it. Constant pain and problems. Average is so much better (to me), and from my experience guys who are average try harder than guys who are big.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/19 04:38 PM
12

My go-to response for "Why don't you have a boyfriend?" is "I'm just lucky, I guess." Thankfully most of my family has a sense of humor. But your grandpa sounds awesome haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/19 04:41 PM
26

So many guys have a form of "I don't want someone who takes life too seriously" on their profile, and it's usually just code for "I'm not looking for anything serious and have no ambition." That flag is so red, boy, I'm out. You can take life seriously and work hard AND be a fun person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/19 11:19 PM
28

He de-escalated and changed his behavior when OP set a soft boundary. No point in keeping this one on the hook - she should throw him back where he came from.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/19 11:16 PM
5

I agree with you in principle but this was an app issue, not an issue with one of our phones. However at the end of the day he chose not to be on time anyways, so he didn't get a second date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/19 06:33 PM
77

About a year ago, I agreed to go to an arcade bar for a date. He showed up 30+ minutes late. I thought he stood me up because the app we used (Hinge) wasn't working, so I only got his message on my walk back to the car. I agreed to go back and stay for the date, but I stopped responding to his texts and never saw him again. The messaging error wasn't his fault (I prefer not to give my number to guys on OLD before we meet). But even back then, I was turned off by the fact that he was late to a ca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/19 06:29 AM
3

I've had the same experience. I'm not sure why I've been lucky with sex, but I think part of the reason is my personality type and the personality types I'm attracted to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/19 06:10 AM
29

These men have such an unstable blend of narcissism and deep self-hatred I can't EVEN. On one hand they think they deserve 9s, on the other hand they manage to shame 9s for sleeping with them. Go to therapy and leave us alone!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 10:34 PM
6

Can someone explain to me how pick-me probation works? Is the user flair set by the mods (and going off that question, are the other flairs set by the mods too)? How long is someone on pick-me probation for?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 02:15 AM
18

I truly believe that high value men are made from high value women. A HVW shows her sons how they need to act to have a HVW in their lives so they don't become entitled to one, so they don't come to think of women as playthings for their own impulses and pleasure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 04:45 PM
5

I love coffee and latte art so practicing my pours and tinkering with my espresso machine is something I do on a regular basis. I also love cooking and pasta making and have done some bread making. I've done a few minor repairs on my car. Eventually I want to be able to work on my car on my own because the car is ~20 so I also spend a lot of time diagnosing/researching problems before I bring her (yes, her) to the shop. I'm a writer and an artist so I enjoy sitting down at my favorite coffee sho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 04:28 PM
13

I'm thinking there should be a post about how to hold off on sex (or bf-gf relationships) without making it seem like you're purposely withholding. A guys needs to believe that it's normal for you and what you've always done. I'd absolutely love a post on this too, especially as someone who has already had plenty of sex and is just bored of being single or in dead-end relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/19 02:00 AM
11

I've run into this problem, nerdy types and unemployed musicians love me because of my interests and the way that I dress. This is really good advice and since I joined this sub I'm trying to be more mindful of what my "vibe" is. My values and lifestyle are a better match for intelligent, educated men with a career. I've been summed up as "Someone who fell out of a time machine" and as much fun as I have with my look, I don't think I'm representing myself accurately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 04:09 PM
79

Reciprocity is key! They have to see that they're not going to get more than they give.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 03:36 PM
2

From 8 to 6 if you include orgasms I had from just oral. So according to TRP I'm still a slut. ;) Also I orgasm very easily lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 05:11 AM
3

Lmao not the same person as above, but I actually have a spreadsheet and I've kept track of the date and number of times I've ever had sex. It's really interesting, 9 years of data there. I don't track orgasms because I've been pretty lucky in that regard. :P
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 05:08 AM
2

I'm 5'0" and I think petite women exclusively dating guys who are 6'0" is kind of creepy. I've been with guys who are 5'4" - 6'0" and my preference is 5'7", 5'8". Short women often look younger than our age and tall guys often joke that we're "fun sized". Having a short girl is a fetish for some men and honestly that just weirds me out! It's so creepy! Also the short women who only date tall guys exploit the "look at me I'm so tiny and cute and feminine!" thing and it's stupid. In my experience …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 04:53 AM
11

Height isn't everything men make it out to be. Yes, there are social advantages to being a tall man. But I think women are turned off by many short men's negative attitudes and insecurities, more than the guy's actual height. The thing is when people don't have something they really want or need they get tunnel vision about it. Short men have so completely convinced themselves that they're undesirable to women, even the women that are shorter than them, that they neglect the other things that gi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 04:12 PM
3

My most recent FWB was a guy I was friends with for 3 years before we hooked up. I don't advise attempting FWB with a random guy from OLD or a guy you know you want a serious relationship with. We were attracted to each other and obviously enjoyed spending time together (we saw each at least a couple of times a week, for years). I also knew that he respected me and was good at communication, and he even saved my life once. He wants kids and I don't, so it was easy for me to be pragmatic about th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 02:50 AM
1

I think my point was more along the lines of, we shouldn't be depicting women's treatment of sex the same as men's. Women's sexuality is very different from how men portray women's sexuality, and different from men's sexuality too. But I agree that the problem partially comes from hiding depictions of sex and from not having enough positive examples of female sexuality. This is changing and I'm happy about that, but you're right, they're still not super mainstream/haven't filtered from the media…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 02:26 AM
1

🤢🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 02:16 AM
3

Pathology, dermatology, and urology are top choices for me. Pathologists, orthopedic surgeons and urologists are the nicest doctors I've ever met.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 05:06 PM
20

Some sex acts are inherently degrading to women simply because of they way that they're conceptualized by men and we can't force men to change the way they think about us unless we adapt our behavior and protect other women who don't have the freedom to do so (e.g. in this example by liberating women who are in slavery rather than excusing it).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 04:58 PM
68

Why do us women always qualify bad behavior/things that make us unhappy about our men by saying "He's so amazing and caring and blah blah blah!" when that's obviously... not true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 04:52 PM
4

I'm Caucasian but as a woman I respect you and admire that you are supporting your MENA sisters. I didn't see the Islamophobic comments but I want to say to anyone reading this, spreading hate or misinformation is not the way to promote the FDS message. We have good ideas and they can be used to empower women of ALL backgrounds and ethnicities to weed out hateful and LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 05:43 AM
3

There was one guy in the comment thread that said "But not my friends and I!" and then proceeded to say that OP's view was dismal. But the truth is dismal. Enough of us have been raped, abused, disrespected, or simply had our time wasted, to know that there's a fundamental problem with the way a large number of men view us and treat us. Even the "good guys", even guys who are kind and do amazing things in the world, can sometimes be messed up, dishonest, or simply have complex interactions with …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 05:23 AM
1

When "feminist film critics" praise sex scenes where women treat sex the same way men have for years, it's because finally we are seeing something other than a scene where a dude just pumps away and cums and then that's it. I don't think we should promote this either. To do so is to praise any change as good, when men's sexuality and the way they treat intimate partners is so often abusive and depraved. Instead I agree that sex positivity (and intimacy more broadly) is about communication, conse…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 12:12 AM
28

When my housemate met her boyfriend we had a lot of conversations about relationships and dating. Both her dad and I advised, the answer to the question "What are you looking for?" should be "I'm looking for a relationship", otherwise a man is wasting your time. Not answering the question (or any question you ask a man) is just another way of saying "No", "I don't know", or "Not with you."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 12:01 AM
18

I plan to apply to med school in the next couple of years and a friend told me I was selfish basically for wanting a partner who's already successful and could support my living expenses. Why in the world would I want to take out loans to cover my living expenses if I don't have to? And why is it selfish to want someone to buy groceries and cook for me when I'm too busy with school to work? If I'm working hard to invest in my future and my future partner then I'd expect him to do the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 04:42 PM
6

I kind of think being a high value woman is just being a pick me... for yourself. You're choosing to prioritize yourself and your interests which may include attracting a high value man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 04:17 AM
97

The gateway to reciprocal emotional connection is him unloading his anger and pain on you and you nursing him back to calm and happiness I was raised by mentally ill people who expected me to be responsible for their emotional state and I learned to do this x1000. This kind of conditioning and behavior makes us targets for abuse from narcissists and other people with PDs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 04:00 PM
9

This guy's name is Daniel Sloss and he has a wonderful skit on Netflix called "Jigsaw".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/19 06:53 AM
16

In my opinion, a truly HVM would be trustworthy enough to not have to entangle yourself legally and financially with just for "insurance" unless there are kids in the mix. Nobody is this trustworthy, especially men, but I think you're correct that HVM are usually marriage-minded. The divorce rates don't scare me, and they shouldn't scare you either: highly educated people who get married later, have the same values, and are on the same financial footing don't divorce at the same rate as people w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/19 02:27 AM
12

Helpful Science Queen here to remind everyone that humans are not "more" evolved than other species because we're more "complex", we evolved to fill a particular niche just as other species have evolved to fill other niches. So human males evolved to "pussy beg" because it was better for our species if females were able to be selective about mating, so congrats dude, on being a special kind of stupid and trying to justify rape.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/19 02:03 AM
4

Cytokines are proteins released by immune cells, not cells themselves. Inflammation is thought to be associated with other diseases too (here's a primer on some of that: https://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/Inflammation_A_unifying_theory_of_disease) There is also some evidence that low-calorie diets (e.g. moderate caloric restriction) reduce oxidative stress and are good for longevity. I'm a huge skeptic of a lot of the nutrition advice out there, but I think you can't go wrong with…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/19 04:25 PM
7

I bought a body pillow at Costco for $15. Way softer than a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/19 03:44 PM
18

"Bitter custody battles" are expensive - men can and do get shared custody when they want to. Most of them want brownie points for getting a woman pregnant without doing any actual work, so they create this narrative that women are vindictive in the divorce courts. If they weren't useless, most women would respect that. My parents had shared custody of me and my dad paid for everything. He's a wonderful example of a man who worked his ass off to provide for his daughter. My mom knew that then an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/19 03:35 PM
5

Exactly. In all of this situation where I went wrong the most was to avoid my own problems by trying to fix his. I did apologize for what I said that hurt his feelings, but the only thing I have left to do is maintain my distance and actively work on leveling up myself. I was on RPW for a long time and it brought me nothing but frustration. What worked with this guy was the stuff on FDS (before I knew what FDS was) and what led to all of the current shit, was leaning too heavily on RPW. When eve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/19 08:17 PM
15

Even then, keep your heart on lockdown. I just went through this with a guy. Smooth sailing for months and months, even when I was depressed and vulnerable. Then I made the mistake of trying to reassure and encourage him because he developed serious body dysmorphia and was starving. I'd never been a pick-me for this guy before the last month or so, but something turned because I was genuinely bothered he can't see how unhealthy his "goal" is. And I cared. The sex stopped. I became frustrated. He…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/19 07:53 PM
3

It's totally mind-numbing how dumb they are about this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/19 04:36 AM
7

Or Nick lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/19 04:33 PM
12

I agree with the premise but want to clarify the way that some things are worded/presented? Based on my experience and observation, when a man is emotionally invested in a woman he'll put her on a pedestal and find some way to justify waiting for sex. I've seen them do this for years and only end the relationship over some other problem entirely. For that reason I don't think making a guy wait, is on its own going to make him think you're desperate. I think desperate women (the ones withholding …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/19 04:28 PM
18

I have an IUD and don't volunteer this information to new partners. If they don't offer to wear a condom, it's a red flag. If they want to stop using a condom after I tell them, it's a red flag. As bad as hormonal birth control is I can't trust a man to be solely responsible for my birth control because IMO the idea of pregnancy and giving birth is worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/19 03:49 PM
2

Me! Yes, I'm 25. I'm having trouble finding someone who's CF and not a loser. (The city I call home is a strange brew of losers and successful people). I had a lot easier time when I was younger and nobody was in a real serious relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/19 02:57 AM
6

Abuse and lack of access to prenatal care also exacerbates these poor outcomes making pregnancy especially dangerous for adolescents. In the U.S. we see the same thing with WOC and people in rural areas who lack access to a decent healthcare infrastructure. The half-baked quacks these women end up seeing don't know how to care for patients in an emergency which are much more common in young mothers, WOC and the poor. All of this because men are obsessed with the idea of fucking children and want…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/19 03:57 PM
4

I met an amazing guy (a great match) two years ago when I was in a very unhappy relationship. It IS difficult. But while I personally regret not breaking up with my ex boyfriend sooner, I don't regret my decision to be faithful to him. I was holding onto a sub-par relationship because I was afraid of being alone, and had I waited for someone who was a good match to begin with I would've felt secure in my relationship and not tempted. But my integrity is also very important to me, more important …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/19 04:14 AM
3

He's gaslighted you in the past, he's going to manipulate the situation to look like whatever the fuck he wants it to look like, which means he's going to make YOU look like the bad guy. Be strategic, instead of publicly slamming him for his behavior continue to share your experience, since your story is true it will always be consistent to the best of your memory. Focus on what he did/said to you not "this guy is an abuser and a gaslighter" - his actions will speak for themselves and it's harde…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/19 03:29 PM
2

Yes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/19 03:11 PM
2

I have an IUD so thankfully that's one less thing to worry about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/19 03:06 PM
19

They never have a good fucking answer! My friend and I (she also doesn't want kids, she has an IUD and her fiance had a vasectomy) got in an argument with some guy at a party about this and his reasoning was so disorganized. They don't even think about this at all and get so defensive about having kids when they do almost nothing and expect a pat on the back for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/19 03:02 AM
8

I'm not sure why I think it seems desperate to me. I used to avoid all uncomfortable conversations, and I'm still trying to recalibrate my mindset. It's some leveling up I still need to do. :) So to clarify - should I be upfront or not? I think the benefit of being upfront is that guys who genuinely don't want kids get excited when I tell them I don't want kids. However your example is one of the downsides and, sometimes the other person is okay lying to your face for years...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/19 03:00 AM
5

I saw that post and guess what, I came straight here! Haven't logged onto the account I used to post there since. The saddest thing to me is there are a lot of teenagers there who do. not. understand. they're in practice relationships and are asking 20 year old boys to step up and be "captains" when these guys are trash. And then cry about having had sex with ONE guy and complain about women in pants. idk Not a single person there seems to understand that unless they can stand up for themselves …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/19 02:34 AM
14

I'm 25. I don't think I'd be okay with that large of an age difference. I'm extremely short and look younger than I am... I'd rather not feed into men's perversions lol. Maybe in an extreme case (all other things being unicorn) I would consider being someone's step parent (as long as I don't have to give birth or raise someone else's kids). But that would be a huge exception and not something I'd consider for a long time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/19 02:19 AM
10

I'm 25. Where I am most people don't have kids until they're at least 30. I'd rather not be someone's second wife or step parent... sigh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/19 02:12 AM
8

The reason you feel the need to teach men things is because someone should. And by someone, I mean his mom and his sister(s). Giving him a performance review is unnecessary. He screwed up. He should figure out why he screwed up on his own. At the end of the day he's not going to take one woman seriously because being cheap has worked before. Save your time and educate other women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 02:31 PM
4

AM: Wash with cold water Salicylic acid Moisturizer Sunscreen PM: Wash with cold water Moisturizer Retinol Less is more. I personally use Paula's Choice 2% BHA Liquid, The Ordinary 0.2% Retinol in Squalane, and drugstore moisturizer/sunscreen (SPF 30+) because these work for me personally. I rarely wear makeup so I only use water to cleanse. My skin went from dry, dead and scarred from years of destructive picking to being super-soft and worthy of compliments from my dermatologist. I have dry/co…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 03:57 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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