On high value men...

2019-11-22T14:55:58+00:00

Excellent point. I think thousands of years ago when people lived in villages, their identity was inextricably linked with their tribe. Its survival was your survival and vice versa. Everyone knew everyone and if you mistreated a fellow tribe member you'd become an outcast, which was no different from a death sentence in those times. So cooperating with other people, taking care of your family and serving something bigger than yourself was ingrained.

Now we live in cities full of anonymous people coming and going. Immediate survival is not an issue so cooperation is less necessary. Men can afford to sit around and play video games. Most men don't live to serve something bigger than themselves. They may have their own 'tribe' of family and friends who they treat well but if they want to they can easily find a random girl to exploit with no repercussions.

Ladies, build your tribe and keep it close. He should know that you are not a babe in the woods but a woman with a strong social network. A good man will naturally earn his place in your tribe and get along well with the other people in it. Also look at his tribe. What kind of family does he come from? What kind of people does he hang out with?

suaveagave · 2019-11-22T17:01:34+00:00

I think what separates high value people in general vs low value people is a sense of entitlement that shapes their perception of the world around them.

Low value men and women have a sense of entitlement of things they don’t deserve. It never crosses their mind to work for the things that they want, and when they realize they’re not getting the things they feel entitled to, they become bitter and feel like the world is against them.

High value men and women understand that they’re not entitled to anything in this life, and that to reap any rewards, they have to work for it. Whether it’s improving yourself to attract a mate, graduating from college to get a high paying job, etc.

And this sense of entitlement can be shaped by so many aspects of your life. I believe for most it happens during childhood. I also believe gender and race can play huge roles in what kind of entitlement you grow up with. I also believe you can grow up with a sense of entitlement and then learn from your mistakes and become a high value person. There are so many variations of how someone can end up high value.

FoxeyLady1967 · 2019-11-22T16:45:38+00:00

I truly believe that high value men are made from high value women. A HVW shows her sons how they need to act to have a HVW in their lives so they don't become entitled to one, so they don't come to think of women as playthings for their own impulses and pleasure.

_HEDONISM_BOT · 2019-11-22T17:32:45+00:00

I feel like it’s good to evaluate men and what their friends , family and values are like . This why after one date you can never really know what a person is like, even if they seem great.

You're completely right. You can't always know what a person is like from spending a small amount of time with them. I'm going to beat a dead horse here and let you know that technically you can gauge a few things from observation and attention to detail when it comes to assessing what type of person you're dealing with. This was a mindfuck for me to discover as a result of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and I'm still decently new at it, so I'm still practicing :)

CBT teaches you to pinpoint your own cognitive distortions, self-defeating beliefs, attitudes, tendencies, and your psychological vulnerabilities. Once you practice CBT and get good at it, you'll learn to skillfully identify these SAME cognitive distortions, self-defeating beliefs, attitudes, tendencies, and psychological vulnerabilities in other people simply by listening to the way they talk (or don't talk) and observing their demeanor and body language. You can even glean this info without ever meeting the guy in person by googling them and looking at their posts on social media. You can tell if someone's a narcissist, addicted to anger, drama, or conflict from their posts and comments

I've used this strategy to weed out shitty men and break up with my ex who had a whole host of mental health issues which I didn't know about when I first met him and it works.

SarcasmSlide · 2019-11-22T22:02:07+00:00

My partner is the very definition of high value man. While he was raised by a single mother, she didn’t model any kind of healthy relationships or behaviors for him. Over the many years that I’ve known him I have often wondered how he turned out the way he did, despite being surrounded by toxic masculinity. Even he struggles to answer why.

I will say this, though: it was apparent from a very early age how different he was than his peers. Even in adolescence he knew that he wanted different for his life, and he waited for the kind of high value woman he really yearned for. Which was me!

I’ll be 40 soon. My partner is the very first man I’ve ever known with deep integrity, values, and a moral compass that’s unwavering. He respects and values me, and he has always placed me first in his life. My best girlfriends literally hold him up as an example of what they hope to find as they date, and my nieces name him specifically as an example of the love they hope to find. Know your worth, queens, and wait for what you deserve.

CSQUITO · 2019-11-23T15:06:07+00:00

It’s not at all genetic. I’ve said this on so many posts, and been downvoted to death but I don’t care. Alllll studies agree that men are raised in a shitty way, and women are raised to clean up the mess. Any mothers in here need to take note. Boys aren’t going to raise themselves to be gentlemen.

That said, I think the spread of high value men is skewed. I don’t like the term “high value” because it makes it sound like it’s a binary - like they’re great or they’re rubbish. There are mediocre men and women out there who don’t have anything to offer as people. And most people fall into the mediocre pit. That said I think there are more bottom tier men than bottom tier women if that makes sense.

Title	On high value men...
Author	Kitten899
Upvotes	21
Comments	9
Date	November 22, 2019 2:25 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/e01nr5/on_high_value_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/on-high-value-men.688073 https://theredarchive.com/post/688073

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