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GaborFrame Archive

View 51 posts and 492 comments by GaborFrame on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
147

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/06/20 02:54 PM
119

mediaGaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/02/23 11:39 AM
113

HealthGaborFrame/r/MensRights29/11/19 01:18 AM
83

mental healthGaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/10/22 08:45 AM
77

social issuesGaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/01/21 06:00 PM
71

mental healthGaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/12/22 08:29 PM
64

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/05/20 11:57 AM
60

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/01/20 12:01 PM
53

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/01/20 07:34 PM
52

mental healthGaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/08/22 07:31 PM
50

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/04/20 02:08 PM
48

mental healthGaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/01/23 12:16 PM
47

third worldGaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates08/01/23 04:59 PM
41

HealthGaborFrame/r/MensRights30/10/22 08:32 AM
40

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/10/20 12:13 PM
38

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/10/20 11:05 AM
34

Activism/SupportGaborFrame/r/MensRights25/11/20 09:01 AM
34

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates05/12/19 09:06 PM
32

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/06/20 09:03 PM
31

discussionGaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/03/21 03:13 PM
29

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/02/20 12:06 PM
29

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/04/20 09:39 AM
28

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/02/20 11:20 AM
28

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/06/20 11:25 PM
26

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/01/20 03:17 PM
26

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/03/20 01:19 AM
24

Activism/SupportGaborFrame/r/MensRights30/07/20 11:59 AM
23

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/07/20 10:22 AM
23

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/12/19 07:35 PM
22

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates15/07/20 04:36 PM
21

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/12/19 12:51 PM
18

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/04/20 12:26 PM
17

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/02/20 12:19 PM
17

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/08/20 11:42 PM
17

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates03/02/20 04:44 PM
15

sexualityGaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/12/20 08:07 AM
15

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/09/20 11:49 PM
14

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/01/20 02:52 PM
13

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/03/20 11:42 AM
12

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates23/12/19 11:44 PM
12

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/02/20 09:22 PM
12

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/01/20 05:34 PM
8

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/05/20 10:57 AM
4

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates23/09/20 07:27 PM
4

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/04/20 02:44 PM
3

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/07/20 10:30 AM
2

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/01/20 04:47 PM
1

GaborFrame/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/19 03:36 PM
1

discussionGaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates03/02/21 01:32 AM
1

sexualityGaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/11/20 12:49 PM
0

GaborFrame/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/05/20 02:42 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

When my then-girlfriend had a wound on her forehead from falling over on her way home from work, the next day her coworker took her to the side and he asked her if there was anything she needed to tell someone... So much for "nobody believes women".
/r/MensRights08/03/23 09:12 PM
2

I'm not sure if that is what has historically caused fascism, but some political developments are definitely worrying.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/02/23 06:55 AM
24

Well, pretty much every private media outlet is doing it "for the clicks". If the message gets spread, it is fine with me.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/02/23 07:17 PM
2

There are lots of men who undergo vasectomy, even though it is potentially irreversible and also not completely risk-free. There is literally no point to be made here.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/02/23 07:16 PM
18

As always this is only framed as a problem for wider society because male losers can become violent and extremist. If nothing else, this should be the reason for society to care, though. Having hoards of young men who have nothing to lose can cause a lot of instability. Some argue this is why so many cultures have enforced monogamy.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/02/23 07:14 PM
14

Here I am again hopeful that actually queer-feminism will work in our favor... If gender is only a social construct anyway, "men are bad" loses its weight. They are more and more treating the "patriarchy" as an abstract idea, and that will be hard to convey to future generations.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/02/23 07:03 PM
16

Well, for those without options, it does not matter either way what they want, right?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/02/23 06:45 PM
8

See David Buss's TED talk, for example.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/02/23 04:03 PM
17

If men are in the minority, they get to make the rules. And given the choice, a lot of men prefer to sleep around rather than committing, whereas women are usually more interested in long-term relationships. That is why you hear more and more women complain that men are only after sex.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/02/23 03:19 PM
85

So, this is probably not big news for anyone here, but I am positively surprised that CNN is actually addressing men's issues. It is important that more people on the Left learn about those. Maybe they will keep blaming them on "privilege backfiring" for a while (which did not happen here!), but I am hopeful that eventually, they will start caring. And just btw, having fewer men in the active dating pool is obviously hurting women, too.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/02/23 11:40 AM
4

First of all, thank you so much for caring! Maybe The Prim Reaper's channel will give you some good insights. She is a woman who is professionally concerned with men's issues (DV, mental health, etc.).
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/02/23 08:49 PM
5

First Richard Reeves book "Of boys and men". It's a pretty well structured introduction into Men's Issues, albeit inaccurate at times (so as to not offend the same people who clapped back at you). The same Richard Reeves who thinks that boys should start school one year later than girls because they are immature?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/02/23 08:46 PM
5

This article casts some light on where these statistics come from. TL;DR: The numbers you read are rough lower estimates. The true extent remains completely in the dark.
/r/MensRights20/02/23 07:16 PM
2

I'm the same but from the other side. I like women, but I avoid them in daily life because every interaction that I have with them could theoretically be viewed as "problematic" from a feminist perspective. This is just not something I want to get myself into.
/r/MensRights19/01/23 09:19 PM
6

Welcome and thanks for the good work! (Unfortunately, I do observe some growing misogyny in this sub. I'm glad it hasn't scared away all women, yet.)
/r/MensRights16/01/23 09:02 PM
17

I mean, it's not a false statement. There is a woman on the list, after all...
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates08/01/23 11:38 PM
30

24 men, one woman, one unnamed individual (likely male). Just something to consider when we're talking about the aspect of gender in these protests.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates08/01/23 05:01 PM
17

From the second source: One hundred and five (43%) men had recently seen their GP, including 29 (12%) in the week before death. At their last GP contact, 75 (31%) had consulted regarding mental health, 65 (27%) for physical illness and 16 (7%) for self-harm or suicidal ideas. Following GP consultation, 32 (13%) were referred for further follow-up – 20 for mental ill-health, 13 for physical health, and 9 for self-harm. I guess that's the problem... GPs send them home without realizing what is goi…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/01/23 04:45 PM
20

I'm just posting this because I am amazed how a someone running a style channel with apparently no background in psychology is giving better mental health advice for men than every feminist I have ever heard.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/01/23 12:17 PM
1

Hi and welcome! Your story makes me somewhat said because I do not think there should be any reason to hate yourself for being a woman. I actually think women are generally pretty amazing... but I guess one can argue that there should not be any reason to hate oneself as a man, either. And I hope you do not perceive this sub as a misogynist one (I know some MRA subs tend to lean in that direction and I hate it as well).
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/01/23 03:36 PM
3

For this particularly video, it might work, but sometimes the images actually add relevant extra content.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/12/22 09:23 AM
31

If feminist blame is taking a toll on your mental health, watch this video. Prim explains why feminism is so destructive to men (even if that is not the stated intention) and how to respond to it.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/12/22 08:32 PM
1

Personally, I think it will help me find good responses next time someone comes up with talking points like those presented in the article she quotes.
/r/MensRights30/10/22 08:07 PM
1

Women have a cultural voice that now acts like a buffer from ever hearing feedback from men, unless it's in agreement with them. It almost has to come from a woman that women are treating men like crap, or that society treats them like crap. Because otherwise they won't hear it. I agree with you that this is a problem – if a man said the things she says, he would get dismissed for being a man and for "trying to defend his own privilege" or whatever, yes. However, the women who do speak out and a…
/r/MensRights30/10/22 07:49 PM
15

If you believe in it, it all makes sense, I guess... (Yes, I do think feminism has religion-like characteristics.)
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/10/22 07:16 PM
2

Baby steps for women to actually give a crap about men is a women pointing out that they aren't giving a crap. I don't like this approach... You know when we say to feminists that men are not a monolith? But now Prim's work is supposedly overshadowed by the behavior of other women?
/r/MensRights30/10/22 07:09 PM
3

Oh, I'm not sure if she has that on the radar already, but I will ask her.
/r/MensRights30/10/22 02:43 PM
26

And in the meantime, feminists will claim that men have too much toxic masculinity in order to realize that their problem is toxic masculinity...
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/10/22 12:48 PM
6

Don't you realize that "a woman who advocates for men's rights is a pick-me/doing it for the money/whatever" is actually a common feminist talking point?
/r/MensRights30/10/22 12:42 PM
19

Yeah, she has a very good grasp on men's mental health issues and this video is probably one of her best so far. I think more people should see it, so I'm trying to spread the word.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/10/22 12:35 PM
4

prejudice
/r/MensRights30/10/22 12:13 PM
7

First check what sexism means. Disregarding a statement for that reason that it was made by a woman (or a man, for that matter) is textbook sexism.
/r/MensRights30/10/22 11:57 AM
8

How are you going to fight sexism by stating such sexist opinions?
/r/MensRights30/10/22 11:26 AM
10

Maybe you should before you judge.
/r/MensRights30/10/22 10:22 AM
26

In this video, Prim does an excellent job at dissecting the "feminist approach" to men's mental health, explaining why it misses the point, and laying out what would actually help.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/10/22 08:46 AM
14

In this video, Prim does an excellent job at dissecting the "feminist approach" to men's mental health, explaining why it misses the point, and laying out what would actually help.
/r/MensRights30/10/22 08:40 AM
5

It's completely illogical and you can feel how ridiculous and dishonest the arguments are on a fundamental level, but obsessiveness means that you'll also give these arguments far too much credit and run them through your mind again and again and again until you get tired. And the more you try to refute them, the more you're going to see how it confirms their worldview, because their worldview is structured in such a way that it's unfalsifiable. It's all a fundamental feature of the fucked-up rh…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/08/22 06:45 PM
3

No, I have a PhD in one of the STEM fields. But I go online, you know...
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/08/22 09:00 PM
1

32
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/08/22 08:44 PM
5

Feminism hurts women, too.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/03/22 11:42 AM
36

When I recently started reading "The Will to Change" by bell hooks, this was exactly my thought. Not everything in that book is bad (some passages, in isolation, could have been written by an MRA, I would say), but the way she blames all evil on an abstract entity called "the patriarchy" became increasingly annoying. By referring to this abstract entity, she avoids naming the actors... "The patriarchy puts certain expectations on men." Well, who does it? Only men? No, clearly not – in fact, a lo…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/02/22 11:02 AM
7

I'm also sorry he had a bad sexual experience. But Long story short I end up in bed with the three of them. Worst sex of my life. is not assault. Unless he left out some important details, it was literally just what he said: bad sex.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/01/22 11:16 PM
1

He did not specify whether he said "yes" to whether he was alright or to sex. If they specifically took advantage of him being drunk, that would be a different story, but he did not mention anything like that happening.
/r/MensRights24/01/22 12:56 PM
18

As I like to put it: Rather than encouraging men to cry, solve the issues that would make them cry.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/01/22 08:19 PM
1

Where in the article does it say that asking for contact details would be illegal?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/12/21 05:16 AM
102

Man kills wife for whatever reason: femicide. Mother kills sons explicitly because they're male:
/r/MensRights22/06/21 09:16 AM
18

Don't engage in political discussions with a therapist. She is not helping you in any way. Find someone who is willing to help you.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/04/21 02:20 PM
4

First of all, thank you so much for caring! As others mentioned, most people do not listen to men when they talk about men's issues, but they are much more ready to listen to women. Therefore, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is to counter female peers when they use feminist rhetoric like "patriarchy", "toxic masculinity", "male privilege", "mansplaining", etc., or when they complain about "cis white men". I have no idea why it is so popular among women to portray themselves as helpless …
/r/MensRights09/04/21 10:27 PM
3

I agree with one of the commenters: Randomly talking to a stranger, especially at night, is considered suspicious behavior in Europe. It would freak women out if I did that.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/04/21 04:04 PM
6

Huh? I don't think such a test can exist in any meaningful way. I can't tell from your post if you're serious or not, but if you are, please don't buy into such nonsense.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/03/21 12:14 AM
9

At the risk of sounding like an incel: I'm just not a very attractive guy, and I have to look very hard to find a woman who might be interested in me. Women might be interested in dating men, yes, but they're very likely not interested in me personally. When a woman tells me she's not interested, sure, I'll stop pursuing. But after 5 rejections in a row from different women, the 6th attempt just feels wrong – as if I had failed to learn the lesson.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/03/21 05:13 PM
1

Pornography. Nothing in particular against it, and long as it's produced under ethical conditions. Mens studies programs around the US and their effectiveness. I don't live in the US and don't know enough about it, so I cannot answer this question. Anti-feminism vs feminism neutrality. I am pro-women, but I think that most feminists follow a problematic ideology that stereotypes men as oppressive and women as victims, which in the end harms everybody. That said, if there is a feminist campaign t…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/03/21 02:21 PM
1

Maybe they have Covid?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/03/21 09:27 PM
9

On IWD, I donated to an organization that helps women who experience violence or discrimination. Hope the money is in the right hands there.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/03/21 11:46 PM
30

I'm trying, but it's hard... While I have never harmed a woman in any way, I'm getting the feeling that distancing myself from such actions is not enough, and that it is somehow my responsibility as a man to help protect women. I wish there was a way to support women that did not involve feminism...
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/03/21 11:29 PM
2

I know your situation. Being a man absolutely makes me feel like a monster.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/03/21 04:04 PM
1

Sorry, that was badly phrased. I meant: "When done do women, it's almost exclusively by men."
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates03/02/21 12:26 PM
-1

But reach them how? "Hey, look, I agree with you, I'm alt-right in disguise myself, just haven't really come out yet"?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/01/21 01:04 AM
1

Maybe he does not intend to dogwhistle, but apparently a lot of people from the alt-right hear it as such, and he does not actively counteract.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/01/21 12:17 AM
1

Yes, I like Bret Weinstein's approach of talking to people he disagrees with. He just seems to take it too much for granted that people understand it. That is, explaining it to the "woke left" is probably moot because they will not accept any defense for talking to the wrong people, but it doesn't the like those from the alt-right get it, either. They see that he is inviting one of "their" guys and treating him with respect, and they interpret that as if he supported him. Identifying as a leftis…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/01/21 12:15 AM
5

In pointing out internal flaws of feminism? Maybe, but that's trivial. But if I am fighting for equality and they are fighting against it, I don't think we will get very far.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/01/21 09:14 PM
1

Honestly, the whole right or left thing is often stupid because people can have a conservative view on taxes while having a liberal view on guns. It's not so clear cut. Then let's focus on the criticism of feminism. There definitely exist people whom you can call "male supremacist" if you want, and naturally, they will be opposed to feminism. Sometimes they will make genuinely good isolated points that we can agree with, but your enemy's enemy is not necessarily your friend.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/01/21 08:41 PM
0

Of course, there should be a place for opposing views in the comments section. The paradox in the video by Bret Weinstein is according to the thumbs up/down, people seem to like the video, but they interpret it as something that it is not (i.e., anti-vax). To me, this seems like the definition of dogwhistling, even if it is not intentional.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/01/21 08:06 PM
2

You always have to take circumstantial allies where you can find them. Rather than looking for purity, my approach is more like this : "even a broken clock is right twice a day." To the extent that Bret Weinstein does it, I'm OK with it (although I feel like he dogwhistles a lot). But to me, James Lindsay has lost all his credibility now.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/01/21 07:11 PM
1

I'd genuinely be curious was MensLib thinks about this.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/01/21 10:57 PM
3

Well, it's in their name... They're trolling, nothing else.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/01/21 05:29 PM
27

So that's... toxic femininity then?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/12/20 12:57 PM
0

Sure, men probably prefer to have consensual sex. I would even assume that those who commit rape would have preferred consensual sex. But they rape anyway because it is the only way for them to get what they want. Most men have themselves under control, but some do not.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/12/20 06:31 PM
-1

Why? Most of the pain is emotional pain from the violation, usually a friend or SO. Yes, and I imagine the violation to be worse if someone goes inside your body. The penis is an external organ.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/12/20 04:23 PM
3

Most sexual violence is committed by personal acquaintances because people spend most of their time with them and get into vulnerable situations with those. As a child, you are told to never go to into a stranger's house, but visiting your uncle is fine.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/12/20 03:02 PM
-2

Well, I do not have a vagina, but I can get behind the idea that having one's primary sexual organ penetrated against one's will is much worse than any other kind of sexual abuse.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/12/20 02:49 PM
-2

Let me ask back: What does "made to penetrate" include? Performing fellatio on a man against his will? While I agree that this is bad, I still argue that forcibly penetrating a woman's vagina is worse.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/12/20 02:35 PM
-1

Let's put it the other way around: Women tend to be afraid of strange men and trust those whom they know. It would be more rational to distrust all men, but most women spend most of their time with men they know well and those tend to be of the same race.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/12/20 02:32 PM
-1

What counts as a "sexual offence" in the study above? Different definitions result in different results. It is mentioned that this varies among the studies that are considered in the meta-analysis. It seems plausible that a lot of men who were made to penetrate will not see themselves as victims.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/12/20 02:19 PM
1

Well, most sexual violence is committed by personal acquaintances, and those tend to have the same skin color as the victim. Thus, even though it is probably more prevalent among black people, the race variable pretty much factors out.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/12/20 01:55 PM
-2

To be fair, most sexual violence occurs among personal acquaintances, and even if those are all white, most of the perpetrators will still be men.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/12/20 01:11 PM
2

The difference is that if this suspicion is due to race, it is regarded as discrimination, whereas regarding men as potential rapists is justified by the idea that they are the oppressors.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/12/20 12:56 PM
2

It is also the reason why we have women-only dorm rooms in hostels and why some workplaces require that a man and a woman can never be left alone in a closed room. Any man could be one of those bad skittles.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/12/20 11:52 AM
0

This academic meta-analysis finds the proportion of female sexual offenders to be 11.6%.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/12/20 09:03 AM
5

Sorry to hear that. Seems like the patriarchy "believe women" is hurting everyone.
/r/MensRights25/11/20 03:41 PM
5

I joined this subreddit 2 years ago after feeling very alone in the way I felt about the harm and hate of the feminist movement and my growing fears of the way in which men were being denied certain rights and deliberately punished simply because of their gender. Was that a general thought, or were you worried about someone in particular?
/r/MensRights25/11/20 02:17 PM
3

In other words, human mating processes are not designed for every man to succeed. Men struggling to find mates is a feature, not a bug. This. It is literally natural selection.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates23/11/20 12:14 PM
2

I do not think that a lot of feminists nowadays blame male sexuality. Rather, they blame the patriarchy for teaching men that their role is to sexually dominate women. On the other hand, I believe that when men show inappropriate sexual behavior, it is because they do not have their libido under control. You can of course blame society for not teaching them that control, but their libido is still at the core.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/11/20 02:37 PM
1

By the way, I believe that this article is related: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/25/opinion/sunday/harassment-men-libido-masculinity.html
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/11/20 10:12 AM
-1

Yes, and normalizing their use, just like it is normal for women to use birth control.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/11/20 08:22 PM
1

You control your behavior, not your drive.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/11/20 06:38 PM
1

Many anti-depressants also lower libido as a side effect, but this is generally seen as unwanted. I do not think any serious effort has been made in order to find drugs that specifically lower libido.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/11/20 06:16 PM
1

Well, as someone else pointed out, anaphrodisiacs already exist, and they are used to treat sex offender, for instance. They are just not really safe for long-term use, yet.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/11/20 06:07 PM
1

Yes, I understand that having a sex drive is an evolutionary advantage, and it also makes sense why men have a higher sex drive on average. But the system was already broken at the moment that birth control was invented. I am not suggesting that all men should kill their sex drive, but a brief web search tells you that a lot of men would be interested in at least reducing it.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/11/20 06:00 PM
1

I’m confused. In what way is controlling our sex drive not already normalized? In what way do we control our sex drive?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/11/20 05:27 PM
1

It's called anaphrodisiac and if you really struggle just go to a psychiatrist and you will be prescribed. From what I read, most of those which are available have rather bad side effect. I do not believe that I personally need them, but if there was a safe option, I might give it a try.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/11/20 05:25 PM
2

Really, you have an even worse idea about male sexuality than the average feminist. Well, feminists believe that rape is all about power and that watching porn fosters men's desire for power. I believe that rape is some men's "last resort" to get sexual relief and that porn can offer an alternative. I wonder if that is true. Anyway, it is not the point. My point is that natural impulses are, if anything, more 'free will' than anything society expects of us. When I attended sex-ed class at the ag…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/11/20 05:22 PM
-4

The problem is not our sex drive but the shaming of it, as if we express it to degrade and humiliate women. So when this medicine you think of is produced, next step will be to demand men to take it whenever their sexual feelings might be unwelcome. I don't see how this helps men at all. Acceptance of men as sexual beings would be a lot more helpful. Do you think that those who pay for sexual attention do so because it is so much fun? No, they do it because they are horny, nothing else. If porn …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/11/20 04:20 PM
9

It's not supposed to be a science. Checking the curriculum of the bachelor's course in Berlin, they don't have any statistical methods whatsoever, but everything is labeled "transdisciplinary". Unfortunately, I don't know that many details.
/r/MensRights13/11/20 04:14 PM
3

Libya, for one. Also, I think he started the major drone strike campaign.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/11/20 07:30 AM
4

Yikes. I mean, she has a point that his rhetoric was worse than his actions (he was the first president since Carter to not start a war, right?), but there are still plenty of things to criticize, and he had become pretty unbearable recently. But OK, there is no need to agree with her on everything, and it does not automatically invalidate anything else she has said.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates08/11/20 11:02 PM
2

Ugh, yet another example of idpol on the left driving people towards right-wing parties. Still, even though other parties may be bad as well, I will never vote for AfD.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates31/10/20 01:07 AM
0

In reality, if boys are to survive, they must work to be strong (resilient, empowered, able to perform, and at appropriate times, stoic in the face of enemies&hardship), aggressive (assertive, motivated, and able to battle against bullies, as well as help us fight our wars both abroad and at home), powerful (successful in work, in life, in leadership, and, when needed, in follower-ship to leaders who are morally sound). Well, maybe this is true, but it is definitely not a good thing. Society sho…
/r/MensRights26/10/20 08:10 AM
1

Well, a diagnosis depends on the severity of the symptoms and you can learn how to "emulate" social skills to a certain extent, but I still do not get the point of most social events. And while I did flap my hands in the past, the negative reaction of others made me break that habit. My therapist is qualified for treating autistic people but not for giving an official diagnosis; however, she says that some autistic traits are definitely plausible, and that is enough for me to know.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/10/20 07:18 PM
2

Yes, I am just not sure what exactly makes me so uncomfortable about it. If not for being male, I am definitely privileged in one aspect or another. I had a relatively good childhood and a good education, and while I do feel sorry for those who had it worse, I have no problem acknowledging that, and neither do I deny that not menstruating is some sort of privilege that I have over most women. However, I feel like when feminists use the word "privilege", they usually do so in order to make a poin…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/10/20 07:07 PM
1

Let me try to steelman here: "If you are getting personally offended by this, you are misunderstanding feminism. If you haven't done anything wrong, it is not you whom we are attacking, it's the patriarchy. If you are a man, you are privileged, yes, but that is nothing to feel guilty for." I actually find this kind of hard to argue against.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/10/20 02:49 PM
1

Sadly, your story is all too common. It's something we have been repeating to feminists since about as long as they have been engaging in it : the men they target are aberrational, those who rape, etc, they are a small minority of dysfunctional men, who are antisocial/sociopathic. They don't care much about the social messaging. The only people it can affect is those who already care and already don't engage in those behaviors. And those the most affected are those who are well meaning but anxio…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/10/20 01:54 PM
4

No, that is not the point at all. I love women – most of them are really great human beings, and isolating myself from women would not have helped me in any way. Feminism being bad does not mean that women are bad.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/10/20 11:18 AM
11

They are creating their own bogeyman. The more supposed male white supremacists there are, the more they can argue how much they need intersectional feminism. Receiving hate confirms their idea that they are the victim.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/10/20 07:38 AM
2

If I only knew...
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/10/20 02:53 PM
1

I haven't heard anybody using that term in Germany, but maybe it is not intended for men's ears, anyway. So basically, it is supposed to mean "anybody who is not a man"? The "lesbian" seems a bit redundant, as men cannot be lesbian, anyway.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates08/10/20 07:14 AM
2

I think we should keep the phrase "criticism of feminism" included as is. Many aspects of feminism are actively hurting men, and we need to point that out, while offering a solution that is compatible with left-wing values.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/10/20 02:07 PM
-25

No, defunding is not a good solution. Neither for the police nor for the UN. We need those.
/r/MensRights05/10/20 11:31 PM
81

This is my problem with feminists claiming that they are helping to free men from their "toxic masculinity": They are just putting additional expectations on men beside those that already exist. What about actually listening to men, instead of assuming what their issues are? And no, I am not talking about those "allies" that they have previously recruited to repeat after them.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates05/10/20 11:34 AM
7

Well, feminism contributes to gender bias, so it's technically correct.
/r/MensRights29/09/20 11:14 PM
16

Very good question. Myself, I tried to become a feminist because I thought it was the only ethical thing to do. However, the cover of "we're just fighting for equality" was so obviously transparent due to all the casual man-hating and the complete unfalsifiability of their theories that I just could not do it. Does this mean that male feminists (or feminists in general) lack critical thinking skills? No. I think you "grow" into a certain culture and by that, you learn that some "truths" should n…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/09/20 09:20 AM
3

Well, from what I have heard, Julie Bindel's man-hating is not that ironic after all.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/09/20 10:12 AM
1

Do you think her views have changed very recently? Or do I fail to see the irony in something like this (which was written by Julie Bindel but has appeared on her website)?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates23/09/20 10:36 PM
2

Thanks! It's long, but seems very interesting.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/09/20 12:50 PM
9

600 views in 10 months? How did you find this video/podcast, and why do you think it is relevant?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/09/20 07:29 AM
2

I don't think it is a coincidence that the term conflates actual social justice (much of which is questioning, counterbalancing or opposing neoliberal capitalist economics) and the most inane overreaches of identity politics. Such a conflation clearly benefits those who want to continue down the economic path we've been on. My question is: Has the meaning of "actual social justice" among left-wing people shifted?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/09/20 07:06 AM
1

Some people have so much internalized this "women most affected" that they do not even think about it any more.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/09/20 08:57 AM
3

For a long time, I was deceived when feminists said something like: "Oh, men are not bad by nature. We, as society, just need to stop raising them such that they become sexist and violent." It was hard to criticize because it sounded so nice and accommodating. However, in essence, the message was still just: "Men are broken; we need to fix them." And this I have to reject.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/09/20 06:48 AM
1

What is the background? What do you want to find out?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/09/20 12:29 AM
2

Can you give a little more context? Should it be just about the term itself or also about the concept?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates03/09/20 10:37 PM
19

I don't get the point of this.
/r/MensRights01/09/20 01:43 PM
2

I have been wearing long hair since I was 12, and I can confirm that it has not been easy. I have been bullied by both boys and girls, but I think the worst kind of bullying was actually from the girls. Harmful gender stereotypes exist, and we must fight them together. But for that, we first have to acknowledge that women have them, too. I do not blame anyone for saying that they prefer tall muscular men with short hair when it comes to dating, because everyone is entitled to their own preferenc…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/08/20 12:38 PM
4

First of all, I really want to thank you that you care. According to what you are writing, it seems like you are already doing the right thing. In fact, I think that most women are really nice people. Of course, there are some that I get along with better than with others, but overall, I cannot complain. Women are not the problem; politics are. I know that this sub gets mocked for doing little but criticizing feminism all the time, but I really believe that feminism is a dangerously flawed appro…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/08/20 12:16 PM
2

I am not sure if "it's okay to cry" ever referred to any actual men's issues, or if it's more about, say, watching the movie Titanic.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/08/20 11:53 PM
-3

I must say that I disagree. Having the right to an abortion is different from having the right to force someone to have an abortion, if that's what you're talking about. Whether men should be able to "opt out" of fatherhood (i.e., they do not have to pay child support but neither do they have to right to see the child) is a different question, but women should not be forced to have an abortion due to financial circumstances, either. Let's face it: Men and women can never be 100% equal because ou…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/08/20 12:49 PM
7

Yes, it's all about getting the spin right.
/r/MensRights30/07/20 05:38 PM
2

Actually, I wanted to just call it "Männer", but Reddit doesn't like umlauts... Do you think that "Mannschaft" has bad connotations?
/r/MensRights30/07/20 02:36 PM
4

Well, it's not actually an anti-feminist subreddit. Instead, the idea is that men's voices about gender issues should be heard as well, even when they conflict with feminism.
/r/MensRights30/07/20 02:19 PM
2

You are supposed to formulate your hypothesis before looking at the data... OK, maybe your hypothesis is that women are better at any given thing (see Obama), and assuming that gender differences exist, you will even be right ~50% of the time.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/07/20 07:15 AM
3

Sure. I just listened to a podcast which calls out Trump and Bolsonaro for their "toxic masculinity" (for those who speak German) and their subsequently bad handling of the COVID-19 crisis. I agree that those politicians are toxic, but I'm afraid it seems like this was precisely the reason why they were elected.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/07/20 11:52 PM
5

Joking is OK in general, but I'm confused if she considers male suicide a good or a bad thing.
/r/MensRights29/07/20 11:42 PM
2

The Prim Reaper has been really active, recently. She is on HBR, but she also her her own channel.
/r/MensRights29/07/20 11:19 PM
5

Looking for patterns in the data is not science. If the US had a female president (say, Clinton), they would still do badly, and if Germany had a male chancellor, I don't see why they would do worse. After all, both countries have a federal structure. This needs to stop.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/07/20 09:45 PM
0

I'm kind of split about this IQ thing. On the one hand, I agree that scientific findings should not be dismissed based on political correctness. On the other hand, IQ is just a factor that drops out of a linear model, and I do not think anyone understands what it really means.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/07/20 10:52 AM
14

I don't care what's written in the Daily Mail, to be honest.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/07/20 07:50 PM
3

Hm, can you point me to any sources? I don't follow Harris that regularly. I do not think it is inherently wrong to criticize Islam, but of course you have to be careful that it does not turn into prejudice against Muslims.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/07/20 12:27 PM
4

What’s your opinion of Bret Weinstein? He seems pretty sincere to me. I just think he should distance himself more from Shapiro and Peterson. (Tim?) Pool, I have actually never heard about. Why do you think Harris is worse than Weinstein?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/07/20 11:48 AM
4

While he claims to support some left wing policies when he has left wingers on occasionally, he has Koch brother funded IDW grifters on regularly. What about Bret Weinstein?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/07/20 11:30 AM
-2

I thought he was one of the good guys from the "alternative media", but now I cannot take him seriously any more.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/07/20 10:37 AM
2

Of course it's by Tania Reynolds. Seems like interesting research on gender is always by Tania Reynolds these days.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/07/20 08:08 AM
4

Have you tried getting a better therapist?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/07/20 05:43 PM
-7

I don't think you can generalize what it attractive to women because people are different. However, it is true that the dating experience is different for most men than it is for women (not necessarily better or worse).
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/07/20 01:37 PM
23

Well, the fear of getting accused of sexual harassment for one's dating attempts is something that concerns men, even if it is irrational. There is even an xkcd on that.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/07/20 01:30 PM
19

Oh neat, it took less than 20 minutes to crosspost this in order to "expose" us.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/07/20 01:25 PM
2

Please don't do that. This reminds me of the question why most venomous animals live in warm climates. Answer: It just happens to be that way, and unless you have a couple of parallel universes, it is impossible to test any theory on that. Any comparison of democratically elected leaders by gender is probably just a coincidence.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/07/20 01:21 PM
7

I think the term is pure provocation. By arguing about it, you are only feeding the trolls.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/07/20 12:56 AM
3

Ich habe jetzt mal r/Mannschaft aufgemacht. Ich weiß nicht, ob der Name albern ist, aber "r/Männer" ging nicht wegen Umlauten...
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/07/20 10:56 AM
3

Is Die Linke rabidly feminist? I don't really even know that much. They officially call themselves a feminist party, but I think some parts are very critical of identity politics. With that, the Green party is a lot worse.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/07/20 07:00 AM
1

Guys, thank you for all the upvotes, but do you have any comments?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates15/07/20 08:48 PM
3

For your convenience, here is a slightly adapted machine translation that I approve. Manifesto What is it about? To engage in a constructive exchange on matters concerning men. This ranges from issues concerning the male body, sexuality and interpersonal relationships to political issues and common interests that are particularly important to men. Aren't there enough men on the Internet already? What's the point? Yes, in many parts of the Internet men are disproportionately represented. Neverthe…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates15/07/20 05:35 PM
4

Interesting. I made that post because I was thinking about gaming culture lately being under attack for not being inclusive enough.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/07/20 12:43 PM
1

I think what used to be easier is that you could be open about your intentions and say that you are looking for someone to marry. If you try that today, then, well, good luck...
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates25/06/20 06:56 AM
3

Well, it depends on whether the man depends sex as a precondition for a relationship or the woman demands that a relationship follow the sexual act. Either way, lying about your intentions is bad.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/06/20 08:35 PM
3

Well, I think it also gets better for men as they grow older. First of all, a lot of women are into older men. Your body may not be as flawless any more, but you have probably learned how to dress well, your social skills have improved, and also likely your career situation. Most importantly, in my opinion, you are no longer competing with those guys who want to hook up with a new girl every night just because they can. I know a few men who had their first dates ever after turning 40.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/06/20 05:19 PM
15

I was more thinking about a man telling a woman that he was interested in a relationship, while he has in fact always planned to leave after the first time they had sex. I know women to whom this has happened, and I don't think it was a very pleasant experience for them.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/06/20 04:57 PM
7

I mean what do you think an equivalent issue for women is here? Sexual harassment, and men lying about their intentions in order to get sex.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/06/20 04:29 PM
23

Yes, I agree. I just think we should not mirror feminists' mistake and minimize women's issues while talking about those of men.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/06/20 03:57 PM
1

You said it yourself but I want to reiterate the point that this is the experience of those women, not men. And it reflects the fact that most women really do have things easier than men. I'm not sure if women really have it easier in dating. "Tinder culture" harms them as well.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/06/20 03:47 PM
12

Well, to be fair, I have heard a man say that it just happened naturally for him. But one party has to do the work, and in this case, it was the woman.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/06/20 03:40 PM
38

I don't want to go into this "Oh, women have it such much easier" direction. Sure, women have issues, too, and probably most men are not very good at realizing those. But neither do women understand the lived experience of men.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/06/20 03:36 PM
1

Yet, I would argue that women in some cultures had a worse deal than in others. If women are expected to cover their body before leaving the house and their husband is legally permitted to beat them, that is not really a consequence of women giving birth.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/06/20 08:20 PM
11

And then, in a few years, we will get: "See? Women are so much more likely to get diagnosed for anxiety disorders. We need even more programs specifically for women."
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/06/20 12:49 PM
6

For a long time, women were basically treated like kids. Now are kids oppressed by their parents? You could argue so: They cannot autonomously participate in society, they have to ask for their parents' permission for a lot of things that they want to do, and it is easy for parents to abuse their power. Therefore, I like I understand every child's desire to grow up and become independent of their parents, I fully understand why first wave feminists wanted to women to become independent of men. O…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/06/20 12:30 PM
47

Maybe ignore social media for a while and meet real people. The vast majority of women do not hate men, and neither do they see them as oppressors whom they need to fight. In fact, according to my experience, women actually have quite lot of empathy for men. Better don't discuss feminism on a first date, though.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/06/20 11:03 PM
1

Are countries with female government leaders better than those with male leaders? Are corporations with female CEOs better than those with male CEOs? No? Women only got into those positions if they give up their own ideas and adapt to what is expected from them? Now guess what, men do exactly the same thing. This is not about gender. Please stop this women = good, men = bad narrative.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/06/20 04:55 PM
1

I think that openly identifying as a feminist given men a feeling of self-righteousness, so they can look down on others who do not do the same thing. At least among liberal feminists, the reason why male feminists often seem to be the worst is that while women are sometimes ready to question if what they're propagating is still about helping women, their "allied" men will do whatever they think women want them to do.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/06/20 11:46 AM
6

I have a similar issue – my image of men is very negative, and I am attending therapy for this obsession. Given the current circumstances, I don't think it is too uncommon.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates08/06/20 10:33 AM
11

I think the people using these terms do so on purpose, fully aware that they will piss off others, so they can interpret their salty reactions as "fragility".
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates05/06/20 10:46 AM
3

Can you please elaborate on your point?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/06/20 01:24 PM
3

I'm not sure if it's actually a lie, as perception of oppression is highly subjective. The question that one should always ask is: What if I'm wrong? Treating women and men with respect is never wrong, but by discriminating against groups of people because you blame them for all the evil in this world, you will probably end up on the wrong side of history.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/06/20 12:56 PM
4

I think the idea behind this is: "Women are still oppressed, so anything to empower them is a good thing."
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/06/20 10:09 AM
3

This isn't about racism or sexism, but about the US policy system being fundamentally flawed. Check this list: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_killings_by_law_enforcement_officers_by_country The UK is doing over 50 times better.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates31/05/20 02:31 PM
6

I don't know about other countries, but to be fair, German law defines "rape" as "sexual assault with penetration", and you get a longer sentence than for sexual assault without penetration, regardless of the sex of the people involved. Is that fair? I honestly don't know.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/05/20 11:45 AM
7

Well, porn is often criticized because it "conveys an unrealistic image of female sexuality". I mean, depending on the type of porn that you watch, I totally get that, but female-friendly porn is heavily on the rise. I even recently found an amateur video where the woman said: "So, this is a user-requested video. In this, I want to stress that you can do whatever want while watching it. I fully consent to you masturbating to this video." OK, maybe the person requesting it has a "consent fetish",…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/05/20 11:35 AM
2

I feel that this breaks rule #1: topics should be related to male issues. Maybe if you tie it in to education or male development, but this just seems like a "men and women are different" piece that would be more at home at TRP. We really should be using this sub to discuss male problems and to advocate. I think understanding natural differences is essential in order to talk about men's issues in any meaningful way. Otherwise, we may get to a situation where we make those stupid of outcome argum…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/05/20 01:44 AM
22

Actually, I heard a similar reasoning from my girlfriend. I told her how I think male victims of sexual violence are not taken seriously if they get assaulted by a woman, and she said: "Well, that's not surprising. You know those men who constantly brag about how many women they have slept with? If they convey the message that men always want sex, that makes it hard to imagine how sex can be against a man's will." While I understand her point, I think this is a matter of educating people. For ye…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/05/20 01:38 AM
12

If you only speculate hard enough, literally everything you see can be interpreted as a result of the oppression of women – and if it were the other way around, it would still be due to oppression of women. Such discussions are so useless.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/05/20 04:59 PM
2

At the end of the day, modern third wave feminism has hit a wall because even given room to create hypotheticals they don't actually know how to fix any of the things they complain about. Yes, it's frustrating. When I ask feminists how I can help women, usually the answer is: "First, read feminist theory." As if subscribing to a certain ideology helped anyone.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/05/20 11:17 AM
1

You claim that you care about men's issues, but you can still blame men for them? How convenient...
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/05/20 09:53 AM
5

I have seen a similar meme in German language. It goes something like this: Woman: Due to feminism, women have made so much progress in the past decades. But men are still sticking to their old toxic gender roles. Man: You know, it's not always easy to open up, show weakness, ... Woman: Oh, stop whining. You still have all the privilege after all.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/05/20 12:51 AM
2

The problem is that not even traditionalists think women should be oppressed by hegemonic men, so it seems like a strawman to me.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/05/20 04:42 PM
2

The counter-argument is that we need to give more privileges to women until we have equality of outcome.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/05/20 03:48 PM
10

My usual argument is that if someone wants to call themselves an ally to men's issues, but only on their terms, in their way, as long as it advances their issues, without listening to the men who have the men's issues... well, would they consider anyone an ally to them who treated women's issues that way? I don't think many feminists call themselves MRA allies. You are supposed to listen to them because they got it right, not the other way around.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/05/20 03:34 PM
3

In many respects they have been, look at child labour & exploitation. Sure, and it's unfortunate that even today, children have very limited power to defend against abuse. But in general, men are the ones who are expected to die for their wife and kids. As much as I understand every child's desire to grow up and become independent, I completely support women's fight for equal rights. But using Marxist terminology to describe the relation between men and women still seems misleading.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/05/20 03:31 PM
3

[...] but women were definitely seen as the property of men. I am not a historian, but I would challenge that. Certainly women were seen as dependent on men (first their father, then their husband), but so are children. Do you think children are being treated as property? At least under Christian marriage rules, you were bound to your wife for your entire lives. This is not a typical characteristic of property.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/05/20 03:12 PM
3

The term "hegemonic masculinity" is still based on the idea that men as a group dominate women as a group, which I think is the wrong approach to look at things.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/05/20 02:51 PM
9

Unfortunately, the stance that being against feminism is being against women's rights is very common. And as a lot of men criticize some aspect of feminism, it is easy to call them sexist for that.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/05/20 02:07 PM
6

As I mentioned, I think it's usually deliberate provocation. They know most men do not like that term, so they can collect a few quotes to support their "fragile masculinity" hypothesis and give the white knights an opportunity to step in.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/05/20 01:37 PM
2

the reddit https://www.reddit.com/r/FeMRADebates is good its supposed to be about this feminsits and mras discussing issues. You can get genuine disccusion there Thanks, I will take a look.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/05/20 01:17 PM
7

If a feminist is legit willing to learn and is acting in good faith, then just have a conversation how you normally would. It usually stops at: "Oh, what exactly do you find wrong about the term 'toxic masculinity'? You're not understanding it correctly. You need to read more about feminist theory."
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/05/20 01:05 PM
5

The list of people I have discussions about gender with is extremely short, shorter than the list of people I'm willing to talk about politics and religion with. This is the thing: It seems to be a big taboo to talk about gender issues IRL. I feel like most people would rather discuss their masturbation habits with someone from the opposite gender than gender issues. Maybe this is what brings women to the conclusion that men don't care and need to be lectured.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/05/20 12:32 PM
18

But, with less radical feminists, it is possible. The first thing to try and do, in my opinion, is to establish that gender issues don't have to be a zero sum game. Both can benefit without the other necessarily having to lose. I think that's where a lot of problems emminate from. Well, a lot of feminists assert that they are addressing men's issues, too. Unfortunately, they require you to buy into their theory in order to recognize you as an "ally".
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/05/20 12:22 PM
0

Implicitly, men who reported liking sex also preferred women, but only if they were high on sexual experience. Men low on sexual experience showed implicit sexism to the extent they liked sex. Are they talking about incels here?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/05/20 02:01 PM
3

So you can recognise that gender roles can hurt men too, but you reject 'toxic masculinity', even though toxic masculinity literally means gender roles can hurt men too, okay. Yes, I reject that term because it implies that via the "patriarchy", the blame is still exclusively on men. It denies women's role in social expectations. So all women have the freedom to do whatever they want they just so happen to choose from a limited pool of things, while men do everything else? You don't think perhap…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/05/20 03:58 PM
2

It depends on your prior standpoint. As far as I know, male behavior (especially sexuality) is heavily influenced by testosterone. You can "chemically castrate" a man via androgen blockers – so if you want to eliminate typical male behavior, then that is probably the most effective way to go about it. This is what annoys me about liberal feminism (and by extension, MensLib): On the one hand, they constantly convey the message that typical male behavior is not OK, but on the other hand, they say:…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/05/20 11:15 AM
4

If you're talking about today, then no, women can do all these things, and given that women make the majority of college graduates, it is already happening. Surely there are people criticizing them for their choice, but a lot of others praise them, actively encouraging women to pursue such careers. For men, what if you don't want to be a soldier? A lot of countries still have the draft. Also, a lot of employers will still be uncooperative if you want paternal leave, and many people still think t…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/05/20 10:25 AM
10

I would phrase it differently: Every gender role has an upside and a downside for either gender. Feminists tend to focus on the downsides for women and the upsides for men. Doing it the other way around doesn't seem right, though, either.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/05/20 07:13 PM
1

It's difficult because progressives are, by definition, advocates for change, and conservatives are against change. If feminism is change and you are against that, you quickly get conflated with the conservatives. If you do want change but a different kind of change, you confuse people's understanding of politics.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/05/20 10:32 AM
1

Erm, no thanks, I don't want a "stronger masculine civilization". As much as I dislike the view of gender in feminism, the view of gender in the societies you mentioned is definitely not any better.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/05/20 10:27 AM
2

On a side note, some men do get these kind of comments to, but as I said we wouldn't really give a shit if we do. Also the amount of men women actually find attractive is so low, so that's the reason it comes much less from their side. But when women do find a man attractive then the comments are roughly similar, as that video shows. Oh, they have an entire series with that? I was thinking of a similar video when they claimed that 0% of comments that men receive were sexual. I'm obviously not a …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/05/20 04:01 PM
8

Men don't get this weird attention, and to be honest we'd barely give a shit if we did. Well, it's ambivalent. When I was doing online dating, I probably wouldn't have minded a woman sending me a picture of her vulva or her breasts. But as you said, this is probably because as a man in online dating, you are craving any kind of female attention. However, I used to know a woman who wanted to hug me every time we met, and I didn't like it, which only caused her to try harder. If the genders had be…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/05/20 03:30 PM
3

Well, what if there is a political movement which tells you that the power and privilege that your gender gives you are the reason for literally every evil in this world? Could that maybe harm men?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/05/20 07:54 PM
4

I will mention, feminist have little interest in breaking down actual gender roles that lead to men doing the hardest and most difficult jobs in society. Maybe not feminists, but Menslibbers might.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/05/20 02:49 PM
4

First of all, sorry to hear that. I think the difference is that emotional abuse is done on purpose, while asking someone with a "foreign" look where they are "really" from is not intended to be an aggression in the first place, and it was only declared as offensive by intersectional feminism.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/04/20 10:36 PM
3

Questioning gender stereotypes is generally a good idea, and I actually like that aspect of feminism. I prefer having strong women around me, not "damsels in distress". However, I also think of the "patriarchy" as a gender stereotype, and it is pretty central to feminism.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/04/20 10:14 PM
7

They also do reject certain double standards outright, even ones that ostensibly benefit them. Thanks for the explanation, but how can you reject double standards while still maintaining the concept of the "patriarchy"? Woman doesn't get hired: sexism. Man doesn't get hired: gender quota. Woman gets emotional about something: emotional labor. Man gets emotional about something: fragile masculinity. Man has gender stereotypes: toxic masculinity. Woman has gender stereotypes: internalized misogyny…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/04/20 09:40 PM
3

It is valid to criticize third-wave feminists for using the concept of male privilege to rationalize patriarchal double standards that the second wave would have decried as “benevolent sexism”, but the existence of that rationalization means that at some point in their lives they had the self-awareness to question the original double standard. Can you please explain that statement again? I do not quite understand it.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/04/20 06:58 PM
1

Well, maybe it does get asked every other day. I don't read every post from r/AskMen, so I don't know. But the discussion was quite active, so closing it does sound a little like: "Oh, this is a question that we do not discuss so much."
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/04/20 05:36 PM
1

Wtf?! They removed the thread.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/04/20 03:27 PM
3

It's actually hard to read through all the comments. People may not be aware what women in this world have to through, but neither are they are of men's issues.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/04/20 02:46 PM
14

I wouldn't say the issue is about left-wing vs. right-wing, but it's about identity politics. Right-wing idpol is things like "America first", while left-wing idpol has historically been about class, but now they are essentially mirroring the right-wing idpol. Right-wing idpol appeals to people's pride, left-wing idpol appeals to their conscience. If we want to have any kind of meaningful discussion with each other, I think that identity politics needs to be ditched.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/04/20 09:59 AM
1

Yes, that "bro code" is certainly part of the reason why the social life of guys in the Western culture is lacking. On the other hand, it's also feminists assuming any gathering of white men to be some kind of supremacist meeting. Young men's social lives depend on women, but many of them have little to give in return. Those men who are confident anyway do not have an issue with the insulting aspects of feminism, but those who are shy will just be crushed. Inequality among men has always been ve…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/04/20 04:26 PM
1

Maybe, yes, but the question still stands: How do the "Zoomer" boys spend their week-ends?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/04/20 01:35 PM
0

Good point, but I think it's because of the current situation. Any responsible person would stay at home now, but apparently some young men apparently feel the need to show the world that they don't care about rules. Feminists would call this "toxic masculinity", and I agree that this is their desperate attempt to feel important in some way, because they otherwise don't. Unlike feminists, however, I do not believe that this is due to "privilege backfiring" our due to "loss of privilege", but bec…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/04/20 01:31 PM
5

Oh, look at all the fragile masculinity exposed in that blog post. /s
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/04/20 01:09 PM
1

The sad consequence of this is that I now have a certain "initial skepticism" towards trans people, as I don't know if they are actually trans or just want to make a political point.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/04/20 05:00 PM
1

Good interview, but I'm not sure if I like the phrase "boy crisis". Sure, boys have their problems (just like girls), but I personally do not see a "crisis". Too often, when someone talks about that, they will go on with something about "toxic masculinity".
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates08/04/20 10:30 AM
1

I agree with you. However, the argument is that blinding measures do not "encourage" people to "counteract the internalized bias". Like, black women will probably still be underrepresented in management jobs, even if you can objectively show that there was no discrimination in the hiring process. Two more examples: Male Uber drivers make more money per hour than female Uber drivers. This is because they are more likely to accept riskier rides, where they make more money. A PHP conference was can…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates08/04/20 09:52 AM
19

Yes, that's what I think about all the time: Feminism often does not fight traditional gender roles, but it cements them. Can you imagine a feminist using the term "female fragility" or "fragile femininity"? Of course not. If a woman gets emotional about something, she deserves a Safe Space to express herself, and everybody is expected to listen and comfort her – as long as it follows the feminist narrative, that is. Isn't that kind of ironic? If men are fragile and women are not, why are women …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/04/20 08:47 PM
3

Well, actually I am banned from that sub for other reasons, I but I can strawman that the answer would be something like: "It's not about victimhood, but about the patriarchy. It's natural that men don't see it." Of course, that argument makes it impossible to disprove them for me as a man. Actually, it would be impossible for a woman as well, as she could be said to suffer from "internalized misogyny", but it would nevertheless be nice to see some women speak out against it.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/04/20 07:46 PM
3

Personally I think it appeals to two personality traits that are particularly strong in younger people: a wish to avoid personal responsibility where that's achievable, and a desire to simplify the social environment into an easy-to-process binary (a lot like we see in religious groups). OK, I get that. It's nice to know that you are on the right side and that everything is someone else's fault. But eventually, you are hurting yourself by that attitude.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/04/20 05:10 PM
1

In being a successful woman and a feminist.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/04/20 04:55 PM
3

It is also worth nothing that 'popular' among women means that, like, something like 1/10 identify as feminists. So Emma Watson is basically an outlier?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/04/20 04:31 PM
6

I was also thinking about incels being the male equivalent that like to portray themselves as victims. However, definitely not all intersectional feminists are heavy, androgynous, and angry, so that cannot be the full explanation.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/04/20 04:23 PM
7

Whom exactly? I doubt that discussing this with feminists would lead to anything.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/04/20 03:21 PM
16

Good point. We live in an age with lots of self-censorship. On the other hand, where are all the left-wing anti-feminist subreddits that are not as male-dominated as this one? If women were outraged about it, they would say so at least online.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/04/20 03:16 PM
9

I kind of doubt that is something inherent to women.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/04/20 03:05 PM
15

"Men are dying, women most affected." Yes, you know the deal by now, but I think it's still interesting to hear her take on it.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/04/20 09:41 AM
2

It's nothing you do to grown-up human beings. You can provide information, but that's it.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/03/20 12:47 PM
1

Those are different things. If we notice that it would be objectively better for children if they were treated a different way, then we should tell parents to change their behavior, even if it seems counterintuitive to them. However, if people have already developed their personality, we should not try to "reeducate" them.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/03/20 01:13 AM
2

That's right. For instance, parents are supposed to have their kids vaccinated according to medical advice because we have overwhelming evidence that they profit from it. However, for the question of what toys kids should be exposed to, as far as I know, the evidence is weak.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/03/20 10:15 PM
3

Oh boy... Well, no, not everything about "traditional masculinity" is bad, but each virtue has its downside. Overall, I think that we should reduce gender-based expectations, not foster them.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/03/20 01:02 PM
1

Of course, pressure is bad. But if it is true that babies are a "blank slate", is giving them a doll rather than a toy car (or vice versa) exerting pressure? Most parents will probably tell you that their sons just respond better to cars and their daughters respond better to dolls, but we don't know for sure if that is true, or if they just say so in order to justify their gender bias. If we want to actively counteract this assumed bias, then we must get parents to act against their intuition of…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/03/20 12:53 PM
1

Why it would be tempting to just agree with you, it is worth thinking about this a little more: We cannot really change our biology (and even if we could, we might consider it unethical), so any difference based in biology is fair, while differences in upbringing are unfair? As I mentioned a while ago, equality is quite a difficult objective for me. In this case, I would say that parents do a good job if they give their kids what it takes to live a happy life. I don't have kids, but I imagine th…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/03/20 03:25 AM
1

It's a weird one, because obviously women are as capable of doing technical jobs like electrical engineering (I've met a few female engineers!), but some so called more 'girly girls' don't find those environments attractive. Sure, I am definitely not claiming the under-representation was because women were not capable. In fact, I am happy to see that when it comes to some "hipper" technologies like deep learning or novel programming languages, the number of women is quite high. However, those wo…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/03/20 01:48 PM
5

Well, maybe those who spent their adolescence in the basement with a soldering iron do in fact not have the best social skills. It is probably true that in order to study engineering, you need to have a certain tolerance for slightly weird people, and I don't blame anyone for preferring to hang out with the "cool kids" instead. However, I don't think this is something that stops women who really want to study engineering from doing so. The difference is that men will often pick engineering even …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/03/20 01:33 PM
9

Blaming Spanish women for the actions of their government? That seems pretty unfair. It's like saying: "Don't date American men because Trump is bad."
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates25/03/20 11:27 AM
1

I'm strongly considering moving to get away from it. If you don't mind my asking, where are you (so I know where else is like this)? I'm from Germany, but it seems to be all around the Western world by now.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/03/20 11:17 AM
3

I can't really understand this mindset, were you propagandized at an early age? Mother a feminist? Frequent liberal/leftist circles too much? No. I guess I just have a tendency to feel guilty about things.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/03/20 10:07 AM
4

Especially the radfem flavor you're talking about, its really really not popular in most people. What exactly is radfem about the things that I wrote? Demanding to "check your privilege"? But a lot would be for helping men if they knew about the stats on men...just not the elected people. I think most people know that girls outperform boys at school. Does anyone care? The typical reaction is more like (hello, Obama...): "Ah, see? Girls are better than boys. Therefore we must have more female CEO…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/03/20 01:41 AM
4

I have never sat in gender studies classroom, so I don't know what it's actually like. My problem is that in academia in general, feminism has kind of become the "official" religion.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/03/20 09:51 AM
15

Now ask if people agree with the statement that women are better skilled at parenting than men and write a report about that. Oh, and if you think that women make better business executives than men (hello Obama), that would count as unbiased in this study.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/03/20 06:35 PM
10

It's so transparent and foreseeable. The sexism card is played by those who like the women in question. When it's about a woman they don't like, the same people will not say anything.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/03/20 01:08 PM
41

Well, I guess most women with a left-wing political stance call themselves feminists these days. We're in a situation where an ideology (feminism) has managed to make itself synonymous with a political goal (gender equality) in the minds of people. Therefore, words do not mean anything. What matters is what they really think.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/03/20 11:01 PM
3

I posted about this here: https://www.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/eespi5/is_equality_even_a_good_goal/
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/02/20 11:37 AM
2

Definitely, some men are more susceptible to it than others. But where does it come from? Blaming feminism is easy, but most feminists do not really hate men. It is probably only in combination with a desire to protect, that it becomes really bad. As a man, you are conditioned to feel responsible for the well-being of women.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/02/20 10:29 AM
2

In my experience, men who think their sexuality is gross it's because they haven't experienced how thirsty women really are. But that's what I'm talking about. If you are the kind of man that 99% of women have absolutely no sexual interest in, the world be better off without your sexuality.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/02/20 01:01 AM
3

How many women do you know in real life? Have you been romantically involved with a woman before? I am in a relationship with a woman, and I have a couple of female friends. Some of them are hardcore feminists and might not be the best match for you but I think knowing women better might help you out with this. You probably have a worse view of men than what most women have. Yes, I know that my girlfriend would not like to kill or castrate any men, and while she has been catcalled a few times an…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/02/20 11:03 PM
2

If minimizing sexual discomfort and gender-based discrimination for women is the objective, this seems like the obvious solution.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/02/20 09:52 PM
-3

The difference is that there is no inherently Asian character trait. If an Asian grows up in a Western environment (or vice versa), their behavior will not be distinguishable. Heterosexual men, however, will express their sexual attraction towards women, regardless of how they have been brought up, and apart from castration or extreme sexual repression, there is little you can do about it.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/02/20 07:59 PM
-4

Ditto. Thing is, I'm concerned for the future state of men. I am beginning to think that a world without men would genuinely be a better place.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/02/20 07:43 PM
3

Sounds to me like you've been brainwashed to have these beliefs from a very early age. I'm not sure I can offer much advice. I don't think I was. I mean, every boy gets taught that you must not hurt girls but be nice to them, but beyond that, I really do not recall anything. For me, all I needed to 'de-feminist' myself was have actual unbiased information about gender issues put in front of me. As a rational and evidence-based person, this led me to reject any previous 'beliefs' I had and form n…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/02/20 07:18 PM
1

Look up, and think about great things men do, and you yourself do. Really take the time to feel proud about it. Whenever I think about that, I also think: Well, a woman could have done even better, if society had only given her the chance. So if a man does something bad, it's sexism. It he does something good, it is also sexism.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/02/20 05:12 PM
3

The OP title encourages people with controversial opinions to let them out.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/02/20 08:55 AM
7

Let's turn it around: If you say you support feminism, how do you expect people to know what you're talking about?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates25/02/20 11:27 AM
1

Which feminists? All of them? You've talked to every single one? Was there a convention or something when they all signed onto what Watson was going on about? In this case, it was personal conversation with someone who calls herself a feminist. I think most liberal feminists would agree that men can and should be feminists as well (bell hooks comes to mind), or at least support feminism.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates25/02/20 11:25 AM
2

There exists no church of feminism, fortunately.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates25/02/20 10:31 AM
1

I'm not sure if there is such an obligation. It is a bit like saying Muslims have to speak up against jihadists just because they believe in the same book. However, claiming that Islam is all about peace is similar to claiming that feminism is all about equal rights – not many people will believe you.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates25/02/20 10:22 AM
2

The problem is that in a given group of people, likely the women are the Porsches and the men are the Honda Civics.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates25/02/20 10:04 AM
7

I agree that it should be illegal; I just didn't know enough about US law. What seemed weird to me is that media all over the world called him a rapist based on that allegation, because I associate that word with different behavior.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates25/02/20 09:50 AM
13

I think the media did a bad job at telling what Weinstein was actually accused of. As a non-US citizen, all I heard was that he had offered women acting roles in return for sex. That is obviously very shitty behavior, but it's not immediately clear to me if it is illegal under US law. It is definitely distinct from rape via physical force. To answer your question, I think Weinstein had a fair trial in which he was found guilty, so no, now I do not think he is innocent. With respect to Trump, the…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates25/02/20 09:35 AM
8

It's extremely disingenuous to equate the ramblings of the scum manifesto with women who want equal pay or abortion access. I don't think I'm doing that. Either group can call themselves feminists. Feminism can mean contradictory things because it's not a hegemonic body of work. Yes, and that is a problem. It is the reason why, even though I might like some things about Marx, I do not call myself a Marxist, a communist, not even a socialist. I think that, e.g., Bernie Sanders does call himself a…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/02/20 06:23 PM
5

I think the mistake that some men (including myself) make is to infer some kind of "perfect behavior" from women's individual complaints about specific situations, when that simply does not exist. Whatever you do, you may piss off some woman. That is OK, as long as you assume that women can handle it. But then there come activists who say: "Yes, we can handle it, we just don't want it." I certainly understand that it's uncomfortable, but even women have to understand that the world does not revo…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/02/20 06:14 PM
3

No one argues that Mein Kampf shouldn't be taken literally. I think quite some people argued like that in the early 1930's... "C'mon, there's nothing wrong with supporting Hitler. He certainly didn't mean it like that."
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/02/20 05:46 PM
5

I think one should treat the SCUM Manifesto somewhat like religious scripture: It contains a lot of violence, but most apologists (I would call them liberal feminists) will say that you should not take those passages literally and instead focus on the essence. However, there are always fundamentalists who do take it more or less literally.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/02/20 04:30 PM
5

It's pretty hard... How do you respond to someone who says that Lenin got communism all wrong?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/02/20 02:22 PM
5

Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist. Go to r/GenderCritical to see them in action.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/02/20 01:38 PM
28

I think most liberal feminists would just go: "This isn't feminism."
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/02/20 01:36 PM
15

Wow, these were literally my thoughts when I was single... except that I was never approached the way that guy was.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/02/20 01:34 PM
2

While I believe this is true in some sense, the scientific discourse is still very much going on.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/02/20 05:35 PM
8

I am not qualified to engage in scientific discourse about that matter, but I am glad that others do. My first question is whether "STEM" actually means anything. Psychology and medicine are pretty dominated by women, nowadays. To get actually meaningful data, maybe we should talk about electrical engineering or something like that. As someone on Twitter pointed out, having "unsconcious bias" as the null hypothesis is pretty problematic. Personally, I think the hypothesis that "women are less in…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/02/20 03:37 PM
4

This is certainly great research, but I guess it is hard to interpret what the size of certain brain structures actually means. If you want to make the point that there are biological reasons for male behavior being different from female, I think that talking about hormones is easier.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/02/20 10:33 PM
1

Definitely! It's not like sexual harassment by women did not happen.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/02/20 08:21 PM
4

Then you're suggesting we should care about pariahs which is a tall order. Or at least prevent people from ending up that way – which is what left-wing politics has always been about. No, but if rants on Twitter is making you/someone feel like a pariah and therefore will behave badly because "why does it matter". They should get off Twitter. Excuse me for doing this, but this sounds suspiciously like saying to a woman: "Oh, you don't like being harassed when going outside? Well, then don't go ou…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/02/20 08:12 PM
1

But I don't know what sexual urge exists that cannot be overcome to cat-call them on the street or whistle at them. Sure, most men can control themselves because they have been taught so and/or they understand for themselves why certain behavior is wrong. For some, however, this is not true. But unlike OP who says if he could he'd touch every women's breast they don't walk around on the street wanting to grab every man's dick. Oh, I think they would if it was socially acceptable, at least with t…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/02/20 08:06 PM
3

And if they transgress they are still held responsible. Which is why the above reads an excuse. Sure, people should be held responsible for their actions. If it's really bad, they should go to prison. This is where a large portion of the (male) population in the US currently resides. I'm not saying it's wrong – it is just very ineffective if you do not combine it with other measures. On the second point the answer to "why should you care" is because failing to do so will make you an asshole in m…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/02/20 07:53 PM
3

Yes, unlike dogs, humans can question their behavior and understand rules. However, there is no guarantee that they will follow them. Some people were neglected as kids and never really taught how to become a part of society. Others feel isolated for others reasons, so they simply do not care. If we want to do something against (male) misbehavior, these are the issues that we need to tackle. There are no Noble Savages. The rules of our society sometimes go very much against the human impulses. T…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/02/20 06:36 PM
4

That's right, I don't think many feminists would argue that wanting to have consensual sex is a social construct, but this is just the kind of sexual behavior that they don't have any issue with. What they don't realize is that other, unacceptable behavior is a result of the very same urges. If it was socially acceptable to touch the breasts of every woman that you meet, I would totally do it. I just don't because I know it would be inappropriate.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/02/20 01:32 PM
9

This comes off as excussing sexual harasment as natural male behavior. Which i don't think it is. The point is not whom to blame, but where this kind of behavior comes from, and how to fix it. In my opinion, men (and also often women) need to be taught how to better deal with their impulses. This does not excuse anyone, but it tells them how exactly they are responsible. However, if you tell men that the sexual urges that they feel are all a social construct, they will either ignore you, or they…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/02/20 01:18 PM
2

How is that in contrast to feminism?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/02/20 11:55 AM
3

Once I know that it's consensual, it is not such a big deal for me, any more. Dating was hell, though.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/02/20 11:29 AM
2

I neglected to search for a good strawman before posting. In fact, it seems hard to find an article that presents the arguments in exactly the way that I criticized them, mainly because terminology around "sexualization" and "objectification" is a bit vague. Luckily, many of you seemed to understand what I was talking about, anyway. If you have any good source, feel free to share it. What I have found is an article that points out the flaws in feminist criticism of male sexuality: https://www.ps…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/02/20 03:59 AM
2

No, I do not assume that women are looking for an opportunity to do me harm, either, but the idea that in theory, pretty much every woman I have ever met can truthfully claim that I once "looked at her in a weird way" is a bit... unsettling.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/02/20 03:32 AM
2

Sure but that isn't upsetting. Upsetting would be using a go pro to try and take upskirt pictures of unsuspecting women. Or spying with binoculars into someone's bedroom. A glance while you're walking by isn't a big deal. I'm glad that you think that way. However, if I meet a woman who is waiting for an opportunity to accuse me of sexualizing her, she will have a point. Once, I was asked by a woman if I liked her new belt. I said: "Yeah, sure." She said: "You didn't really look, did you?" As a m…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/02/20 02:50 AM
3

It's a lose-lose situation. Men typically want sexual attention, but they do not get it. For women, it's the other way around.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/02/20 02:30 AM
2

Depends, do they act shy around every unknown female person? I doubt they're sexualizing everyone. They just don't know what to say to a female stranger. Speaking about myself, I am always a bit awkward towards women, but it gets worse if they are attractive. I am afraid they might notice and regard me as creepy for that.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/02/20 02:24 AM
3

Being sexualized doesn't mean the existence of sexual attraction, it's more about behavior. But it can also be about societal attitudes. Do you never catch men furtively checking out parts of your body? At least to me, this kind of behavior is hard to control, and it is definitely related to sexual perception.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/02/20 02:17 AM
2

Example 1: Women who are trying to breast feed in public are shamed and told to cover up because they are "exposing" themselves and titillating men by feeding their baby. This is an example of sexualization. A woman is trying to mind her own business and take care of her hungry child but instead she's being treated like a harlot and a piece of eye candy for trying to do something perfectly natural and harmless. This is exactly the example that Prim was talking about, in reference to this article…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/02/20 02:05 AM
2

It is impossible to know directly what someone is thinking. I'm not sure about this. It is hard to control all aspects of one's behavior, so I think women will often know what a man thinks about her from a sexual point of view. If a shy guy acts extra awkward around an attractive girl, this is a clear and obvious sign of sexualization – and probably the reason why women get uncomfortable from that.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/02/20 01:08 AM
5

Edit: To add, I suspect this mindfulness approach is commonly used by most men to be stoic. Feminists seem to be unaware of this as they believe that men being stoic means that they are repressing their emotions. Most men probably aren't doing this, because this works very poorly, yet men are still able to be stoic. What they are doing instead is choosing to not act on them. On the one hand, it's again an ironic example for: "Yes, men should let their feeling out – unless it's those that we don'…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/02/20 01:03 AM
0

Maybe being sexualized is traumatizing to women?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/02/20 10:27 PM
3

If I see a women for the first time, her appearance is usually the first thing that I notice, and that may lead to me sexualizing her in my mind. When I know a woman better, I am "accustomed" to her appearance, so that does not happen so much any more.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/02/20 10:25 PM
7

Really? I have never been sexualized. Maybe it's because I'm too unattractive...
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/02/20 10:19 PM
1

I would not take the "extremely male brain" too literally. Tendency to autistic behavior is just one particular characteristic that happens to be more prevalent in men. Something like high sex drive may be another.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/02/20 03:46 PM
9

It is indeed slightly odd, as women and men have always coexisted. As a society, we have made a lot of progress, improving the life for everyone, so I find it hard to single out something specifically done for women by men. Establishing the medical discipline of gynecology, maybe?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/02/20 08:34 PM
2

I'm actually a little disappointed. Usually, my experience is that psychotherapists do not follow the feminist doctrine as much because they actually see the problems that men have, and that they have nothing to do with "toxic masculinity".
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/02/20 03:05 PM
2

Well, I can understand that feminism is attractive to women, as it has managed to be recognized as the movement that deals with women's issues. However, when I confront women with specific claims from feminist theory, they often reject them.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/02/20 12:58 PM
2

Oh wow, I wouldn't know whom to ask. My mother probably wouldn't understand what I'm talking about, and many of my female friends are outspoken feminists.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/02/20 10:24 AM
2

In truth though, even Feminists go by the "well we don't mean ALL men." So when they say crap about men, I think, "ok it isn't all men." Yet, when you point out that it's "not all men", they shut you down pretty aggressively. They argue that even if you personally haven't done anything wrong in particular, you are still part of a patriarchal system. Apparently, the only chance to get "salvation" from this "original sin" is feminism...
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/02/20 09:58 AM
6

Because I have internalized the idea that as a good left-winger, I need to be a feminist. On the other hand, I am not a feminist, and I keep telling myself that this must be due to my toxic masculinity. Apart from that, I see that a lot of other men lack sexual self-control, causing them to harm women. As stated in the MensLib thread, I do not want to associate myself with a gender that has such a bad reputation.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/02/20 07:56 PM
6

To be fair, I hate myself for being a man, too. I just do not want to make it any worse, which is why I prefer this sub over MensLib.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/02/20 07:25 PM
1

I think the idea is that patriarchy is centered around men, even though it sometimes hurts them and is sometimes defended by women.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/02/20 04:30 PM
2

You notice that you are contradicting yourself? I argued that male millenials do not really socialize as much as their fathers do. You said that this is because they are emotionally stunted, but now you're saying that their fathers are even more stunted?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates03/02/20 11:29 PM
2

I really don't know... In the context of this sub, I think the name is good, as it's clearly opposed to identity politics. In other cases, I often hesitate to give terms for my political standpoint.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates03/02/20 11:26 PM
4

Are the men from my parents' generation less emotionally stunted?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates03/02/20 08:52 PM
7

Far-right but economically leftist? I think the term for that is fascism.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates03/02/20 05:27 PM
4

Yes, that's what I think. On the other hand, when I'm out with my gf, I often see groups of young women meeting in bars and drinking cocktails together. What do their male peers do at that time? I don't know. This is just an observation and not meant to be racist, but when I see a group of exclusively men somewhere, they mostly seem to be of Arabic descent.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates03/02/20 05:21 PM
5

I think sometimes being only among other men can be useful to break certain gender roles: If you're married and you're used to your wife doing all the cooking, preparing a meal together with other men can give you a new experience. Maybe this is not so much of an issue any more because the gender roles are not as strong in the young generations, anyway.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates03/02/20 05:18 PM
22

I think one problem is that identity politics has hijacked the term "left-wing". When I grew up, I thought being left-wing was about providing human rights, dignity, and economic security for everyone, whereas judging people based on gender and race was something that only those on the right did. It might be too late to win it back.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates03/02/20 05:11 PM
1

Many cis-women don't use it, either. I just find the claim that gender is purely a social construct a bit disrespectful to trans people. What do you think?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates31/01/20 05:53 PM
1

On the other hand, you regularly hear trans-women telling how they have been interested in feminine things like make-up since they were young, and I don't think that (non-TERF) feminists would question that.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates31/01/20 10:17 AM
2

Hysteria? The public has been ignoring the science for decades. And now that climate change has progressed so much already that we can feel it ourselves without any instruments, pointing that out is hysteria?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates31/01/20 10:09 AM
4

Supposedly men in a class leads to the prof favoring the men and the men get better grades and stuff. Plus the men lead to an uncomfortable environment for the women because they talk about men stuff. Do you see that happening? I have been involved in teaching in CS, and gender was never an issue when grading. I was completely focused on trying to understand their code, not on their gender. Apart from that, the "men stuff" was mostly Minecraft in my time...
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/01/20 11:32 PM
8

Just develop some social skills. This is on the same level as telling someone to "grow some balls", which I think you would consider harmful.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/01/20 10:59 PM
3

To make sexual jokes with them in the workplace? I thought they were looking for women who significantly differ from the male applicants, as you suggested that the latter have on average bad communication skills.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/01/20 10:42 PM
4

Most women I know who have gone through tech and are working in industry are basically are on the spectrum and have a fireproof hide. That shouldn't be a requirement to passing a university course. I'm not sure... I certainly know some female CS students who appear very confident and don't have any issues with sexual jokes. Others are quite shy, though. Jumping to the conclusion that these character traits come from the way they are treated by their peers seems a little premature. It might just …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/01/20 10:36 PM
1

No, I don't blame her at all. Maybe even heterosexual women prefer being among other women, as long as they are not specifically looking for dates.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/01/20 10:28 PM
7

How do they say? Autistic women are perceived as special, while autistic men are perceived as problematic? While I see some truth in that phrase, I don't like how it is directed against Greta Thunberg.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/01/20 10:23 PM
8

I don't think the fear of getting assaulted is what keeps women from entering STEM.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/01/20 10:09 PM
5

Would you care to elaborate?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/01/20 09:22 PM
6

Yes, I understand that, and I am not claiming that all affirmative action programs for women in CS are bad. However, I do want to understand why woman want to separate themselves from men. If that is from that assumption that they have less background knowledge (which I doubt nowadays), would it not increase the stigma?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/01/20 09:17 PM
5

The only one I know personally is lesbian. She might have had "strategic" reasons...
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/01/20 09:03 PM
7

Gone are the days where your IT person is a semi-autistic rain-man who can understand the 1s and 0s better than they can understand people. Wouldn't diversity imply that you need those, too?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/01/20 09:01 PM
8

For better of worse, there's a stereotype of geeky guys as being socially awkward, and being the only sexual target around can get REALLY old for flirting and being hit on. Plus whatever success you have is credited with teachers being soft on you for being a girl. And at some point they look around the room and decide 'this isn't the room for me, I shouldn't be here'. So in other fields, the men are regarded as less creepy? Or does it just not matter as much, as the flirting attempts get "distr…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/01/20 08:49 PM
4

The point of my question was not why so many programs for women are offered, but why the women who participate actually seem to like the idea.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/01/20 08:26 PM
3

Would a room full of men be better for you?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/01/20 07:57 PM
2

On a related note, if you watch some photography tutorials on YouTube, nearly all the models are female. You may claim that they are targeted to a male audience, and this is a sign of misogynist objectification, but the truth is that women are just considered more visually pleasing, often even by other women.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/01/20 03:55 PM
1

I don't feel like I want to try... But using Lenna in research is definitely considered problematic.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/01/20 03:31 PM
1

Maybe a "Smash the patriarchy" poster? Not exactly that, but they already have a couple of posters going in that direction over here, and while I understand that some of them are meant to be "empowering" and I do not take offense, others I do find pretty sexist against men.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/01/20 03:19 PM
2

If anything, I think such a thing is scaremongering that will make women even less likely to join STEM. In my country medicine is projected to become a female dominated field (female students already outnumber male students) and the subculture of medical studies in my country is really one of the filthiest student cultures I know of. Interesting. I come from very male-dominated fields, and although some "locker room talk" occurs on occasion, most discussions are just about really nerdy things th…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/01/20 03:12 PM
1

I reject it's the sex drive itself that creates this behavior. Unless the men making these comments receive sexual pleasure in their harassment. I think they do. They are seeking an outlet for their sexuality, as they don't have any other. It is often asserted that sexual misconduct was "about power, not sex", but then why do they give androgen blockers to sex offenders?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/01/20 11:03 AM
1

If your libido causes you distress, that is certainly bad, but it does not give you the right to misbehave towards others. Perhaps medical treatment for hypersexuality should be considered for a larger number of men.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates29/01/20 09:55 AM
1

On the one hand, yes, I believe that women are strong, and that they can deal with unwanted sexual advances or comments, but on the other hand, it is certainly an extra burden, and it seems ideal if women could live their lives without ever experiencing anything like that. Yes, that begs the question how to tell in advance if something is wanted or not, but I think it would be possible to come up with a social protocol for that.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/01/20 11:27 PM
2

It is important to not confuse the victim with the offender here. Being sexually frustrated is something that people can be expected to deal with, but they should not have to endure sexual harassment by others.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/01/20 07:32 PM
-1

It doesn't matter if they are a minority, as they are still a major problem.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/01/20 06:49 PM
1

Well, sitting on the train with a group of drunk women in their 50s has made me pretty uncomfortable a number of times... I imagine this must be what young women are going through every day.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/01/20 06:32 PM
2

Well, I do know creepy women IRL, but they are usually older – which brings me to believe that it's a bit of a supply-and-demand thing. I don't want to go down that "dating is so much easier for women" route, but if an average-looking young woman wants to have sex, she will find someone within minutes on Tinder. I believe that the men who make such comments on YouTube are desperate for sexual attention from women, and they try to get that by sexualizing those that they see on screen.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/01/20 06:08 PM
1

With respect to your actual question, no, I don't think the male libido poses a problem for egalitarianism. Reason being, I don't think these comments have anything to do with any supposed greater libidinous drive in men. Plenty of men with very high sex drives don't make these comments. No, the problem, I think, lies in the anonymity and distancing effects that the internet provides. Yes, I think that most men would understand that those comments are inappropriate in an in-person setting. The a…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/01/20 05:52 PM
1

This very clearly is not related in any way with the male libido. In this case, I would argue that it is. The woman said that someone whom she knew in a professional context said that he had been masturbating to a picture of her feet. The responses on Reddit were like: "Oh, that's bad. But can you send me those pictures, too? Asking for a friend..." As a heterosexual man (even without a distinct foot fetish), I would have been curious as well, so I could "understand" these comments. Nevertheless…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/01/20 05:28 PM
6

Wow... That has not lost any of its topicality.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/01/20 07:03 PM
5

I think women's preferences are similarly diverse. While I don't question that being muscular increases your dating options, I can assure that not all women have that preference. You can simply turn that argument around and claim that the conventionally attractive woman has a biologically unrealistic fat distribution.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/01/20 06:45 PM
5

I think it's wrong to unilaterally blame and insult women for that.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/01/20 06:40 PM
6

It might be an age issue. For a young man, it is pretty hard to appear attractive, yes, and I never understood the criteria. Now that I have passed 30, I just think that as long as I keep good care of myself, I will probably be alright. I no longer feel the pressure to keep up with any fashion, but I can now wear some more "classical" clothing without appearing conservative. I have found a brand of jeans that fits me will; in cold weather, I wear slim-fit sweaters, and in hot weather, I now wear…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/01/20 06:28 PM
2

Overall, I agree with you. Nevertheless, I would like to provide some steelman arguments: I think most feminists would agree that man are on average physically stronger, and they might have used force to shut down women in arguments. Some feminists may also agree that some traditional gender roles had their place in primitive societies, but that men stick to them because they give them an advantage, even though they should have become obsolete a long time ago.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/01/20 01:49 PM
3

I’m happy to see the top comments are criticizing society, rather than men. That’s not congruent with the “toxic masculinity” narrative, so it’s good to see actual feminists getting away from that. Actually, it seems like they are going down the MensLib route, claiming that society harms men by expecting certain traditional behavior from them. I'm not saying that this is completely wrong, but it misses the point. I don't like traditional gender roles, either, but they have been there for centuri…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates25/01/20 11:15 PM
3

Polemic answer: Feminism is bigoted. Charitably answer: Feminism is a diverse movement, and the ones claiming the one thing are not necessarily the same that claim the other. Either way, it shows again how malleable the concepts of feminism are, and that you can use them to draw pretty arbitrary conclusions.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates25/01/20 10:34 PM
2

I have been recently thinking about the same thing. While I am probably not a very "traditional" man myself, it is none of my business what other people do. If they lift weights in order to get a muscular body that makes them feel manly, who am I to tell them that their understanding of masculinity is wrong? Usually, the way society works is that you hang around with those who have similar ideas. If your ideas resonate with people, you will probably be popular, and if they don't, you might be al…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/01/20 10:34 PM
3

Basically the trying is already the problem. The world is complex, and if you already have the notion that a certain gender faces discrimination, you will find examples for it. There is no objective way to tell who has it better, but the grass is usually greener on the other side.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/01/20 09:50 PM
4

I'm really tired of this lazy, awful "dictionary definition" argument. It holds no water. I can just as easily flip the argument on its head. For the "feminism is about equality", I have a little anecdote: As a kid, I read in a book that Muslims don't eat pork. So I wondered: If I don't eat pork, does that make me a Muslim, then?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/01/20 07:49 PM
1

Women just generally choose not to enter politics. Women are also control the overwhelming majority of consumer spending, and thus control the majority of the consumer market. [SM] People rarely actually vote with their wallets when it comes to things like consumer products. On the other hand, the rich class (those who make the big investments) is clearly dominated by men.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/01/20 06:40 PM
1

Men either, it was a wealth privilege. Wealthy women could go. [SM] Remember Lise Meitner having to use the back door of the university building?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/01/20 06:23 PM
1

Treating women like men is considered as treating them worse than usual. See how the trash talk atmosphere of online gaming is considered "particularly hostile to women", when its hostile to everyone. [SM] Women are getting catcalled from the day they start growing breasts. Isn't it understandable that they are a little more sensitive to sexual insults from men than other men are?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/01/20 06:20 PM
1

And they got nothing to back them. What power? The power to be kicked out of university on the say so of someone in a kangaroo court, and having to sue the university to see any justice? If they had the power, it wouldn't have ever happened in the first place. [SM] For centuries, women did not have access to universities at all, and the entire culture around university is still pretty patriarchal. Professors expecting sexual favors from their students are still heard of on a regular basis. Thus,…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/01/20 06:16 PM
3

Being a 'human being' is like being a raceless cat. It's not a bonus. [SM] Most people want to be viewed based on how they decide to interact with people, not based on their genitals.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/01/20 06:04 PM
3

[SM] How do they say? If a white man looks in the mirror, he sees a human being. If a black women looks in the mirror, she sees a black women, because that is how she is perceived by society before anything else.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/01/20 05:45 PM
1

That's true, there's 51% women, so they're ahead of the 2nd group, who are 49%, men. Both oppressed. But what does it matter if they're bigger by 1 or 2%? [SM] The only way that white cis hetero able-bodied men may be oppressed is by capitalism. This is a different form of oppression, but it goes hand in hand with the patriarchy. No, its synonymous with being judged more harshly for stuff, regardless of actual responsibility. [SM] People are judged based on the damage they may inflict. Men are u…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/01/20 05:42 PM
1

That sounds plausible, but its not that at all. Man is the root meaning human. It was wifman for woman and werman for man. Man-made, mankind come from this idea. Nothing about the importance of penis bearers. [SM] Yet, the prefix disappeared for the masculine form. Saying "woman" now takes one syllable more than saying "man".
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/01/20 05:14 PM
2

True, and I can accept that governmental positions of power can be seen as patriarchal. However, the men in power don’t particularly represent men as a whole, and their actions don’t inherently benefit the average man. [SM] Women are not the only group that faces oppression, but they are by far the largest one. Thus, fighting the patriarchy is an integral step towards a more egalitarian society. I’d say this is better explained by male hyperagency and female hypoagency. First off, the man must m…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/01/20 05:10 PM
3

That's about the only one that even makes a bit of sense. But its outdated with much of the first world, who is non-practicing. [SM] Even in the first world, religious entities still have a very strong influence, trying to ban abortion wherever they can, pushing for abstinence-only sex-ed, etc., and thereby harming the bodily autonomy of women.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/01/20 03:50 PM
18

Let's summarize it like this: Those men who are already regarded as attractive and desirable do not really need dating advice. If you are not one of them but still seek love, then you are "trying too hard", which easily makes you appear creepy.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/01/20 11:57 AM
2

Thanks for not deleting it. At least it tells me I'm not alone in my perception that male sexuality is pretty demonized.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/01/20 10:37 AM
2

Actually, I also disagree. I think feminism was based on good ideas, but it turned bad when it became a religion.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/01/20 12:08 AM
3

Privilege to me, sounds like the sociological equivalent of original sin. Wow, I've never thought about it like that, but it's pretty fitting. I think feminism is really making me an atheist right now.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/01/20 11:32 PM
7

I wasn't denying that black men get stopped more often than white men. I just found it interesting that you switched from gender to race, as this is clearly not a situation where men are privileged.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/01/20 10:45 PM
4

I don't live in the US, but I guess that as a men, you attract a lot more suspicion from the police than as a woman. Assuming that men exhibit more violent behavior in public, I think it is fair to have some extra checks, as I understand where it comes from. However, strictly speaking, this would be an example of female privilege.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/01/20 10:37 PM
11

I'm pretty sure everyone already understands "egalitarianism" and "conservative gender stereotypes". Otherwise, "woke" vocabulary changes every other day, but the terms directed against men seem to stay.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/01/20 10:02 PM
3

Just to be clear, the BMI is not meaningless. It cannot alone predict your health outcome, being below or above a certain level puts you at a higher level of risk.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/01/20 09:56 PM
12

I don't know what you are referring to, but at least according to the Wikipedia article, "patriarchy" in a feminist context has always meant "oppression of women". I'm not saying this did not happen, but it is a pretty one-sided view of society. Usually, feminists go out of their way to reform language and create gender-neutral terms, but they keep talking about "feminism", "the patriarchy", and "toxic masculinity".
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/01/20 09:44 PM
10

I do not hate feminists, either. I just criticize them.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/01/20 08:49 PM
16

There are benefit and disadvantages to the patriarchy for both men and women. For men, they are disadvantaged by being expected to sacrifice their time and lives working to keep women safe. Why do you call it "the patriarchy" then? Why not just say: "Some people have conservative ideas about gender." The word "patriarchy" unnecessarily divides people into certain roles, which I think we all want to avoid.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/01/20 08:19 PM
18

I do consider them patriarchal, because I think the patriarchy hurts both men and women. A big reason for why the patriarchy is the way it is is so that young men will go off to fight and die in the wars that vested interests want. That has never made sense to me. If the supposed patriarchy is a structure that favors men, how can it be hurting them? Because men are stupid and cannot even uphold their privileges without harming themselves? C'mon. If you are talking about gender stereotypes, then …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/01/20 08:04 PM
15

I agree that most feminists probably do not hate men. However, they state that it would not matter if they did, as it cannot hurt them due to all their privilege.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/01/20 07:59 PM
18

I originally posted this to menslib, but it got removed for unknown reasons. Well, what does that tell us... But I understand his concerns. I have only posted to r/MensRights once, and it was before I had found this sub. People there certainly come from different places, but I find a lot of them to be somewhat right-wing for my taste.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/01/20 07:44 PM
3

Both Islam and feminism are religions that need to be overcome.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/01/20 07:02 PM
10

Feminism has motivated some good policies: Better child-care, paid maternal and paternal leave, making upskirting a criminal offense, laws against discrimination... Feminism has adopted some pretty bad ideology, but I would not describe the movement as "all bad".
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/01/20 03:02 PM
6

To be honest, I avoid discussing these topics, but I sometimes think to myself that I must be a pretty bad left-winger if I don't support feminism. In my mind, I have this imaginary twitter post with an image of smiling Sanna Marin, captioned: #feminism #thefutureisfemale, and the "women are wonderful" effect is very strong in me. So if feminism is what brought her to us, how can I oppose it?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/01/20 10:39 AM
2

I do not understand. Men show inappropriate behavior due to shame?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/01/20 04:34 PM
2

Isn't male sexuality the whole reason why girls get sexually harassed up from 12 years of age?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/01/20 03:48 PM
1

I have come to the conclusion that male sexuality is a dead end and just causes suffering in both women and men.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/01/20 01:54 PM
1

I think the issue is: Women appreciate sexual attention from maybe 5% of men. To get that, they need to make an effort, but it has the side-effect that they also receive attention from the 95% from whom it is not appreciated. Showing interest in a woman is a very haughty thing to do, as it implies that you assume you're in her top 5% quantile.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/01/20 01:27 PM
2

It was never my intention to have sex with strangers, but if you get to know someone, you have to reveal your intentions at some point, as the friendzone is just bad for everyone involved. Right now, you don't have to worry about me, as I'm in a relationship, but this scared me even before I really knew about feminism. Girls always appeared so innocent and vulnerable to me that it would have felt totally wrong and demeaning to confront them with the fact that I'm interested in them. When I watch…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/01/20 11:18 PM
2

The thing is, I've seen people in this type of discussion have different standards of what kind of action requires explicit verbal consent. Most might say that a light playful touch on the arm does not require verbal consent (as long as you read the person's reaction and adjust accordingly), but some might. Then again, asking someone "can I touch your arm?" might be creepier than just touching their arm. This is the reason why I have been so anxious about dating: At the moment that you express s…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/01/20 09:54 PM
2

Less than having done something sexual on you against your will. You are not supposed to initiate by asking for consent, merely confirm.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/01/20 07:55 PM
3

I think the idea is that asking for consent is to protect the other person, not yourself.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/01/20 07:16 PM
3

The video with the comment was this, and she addressed it here. She doesn't sound too serious about it and treats it almost like a compliment. Her point is that we should not constantly intervene when men say something, but sometimes just let them express themselves.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/01/20 06:23 PM
3

When I was young (12 or something), an elderly woman said to me: "I really love your hair!" (It was already pretty long for a guy at that time.) I do not think this did me any damage, but it was definitely pretty weird. Now imagine a grown man saying the same thing to a girl that age. I think one might instinctively want to call the police.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/01/20 05:03 PM
4

It's hard to tell. A feminist might say that Prim Reaper might be underreacting due to "internalized misogyny". A feminist might also say that Prim is genuine and right to react the way she does if she doesn't feel offended or even appreciates the "compliment" somewhat (but the same feminist might still condemn the guy making the comment for being presumptuous anyway). One explanation might be that Prim has a therapist's point of view: If guys at school cannot focus because they are too distract…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/01/20 04:52 PM
3

Rape is clear: somebody uses violence to have sex with somebody who doesn't want it [...]. Legislation differs around the world, but I think it is changing more and more towards "against the other person's will" rather than "with violence", and "will" is, by definition, very subjective.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/01/20 03:32 PM
3

Nerds are usually cis white men, so they make a bad victim group.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/01/20 03:19 PM
28

I do not want to criticize the study, but it is "only" a master's thesis, so it was single-authored by someone without academic experience, and there was no peer-review. Thus, it must be taken with a grain of salt. It is very interesting, nonetheless.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates08/01/20 05:18 PM
10

The Prim Reaper. Similar in spirit to Shoe0nHead, but a little more serious, and as a prospective psychotherapist, she has a lot of knowledge on the topic. From the quality of her videos, she definitely deserves at least 100 times more subscribers.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/01/20 01:13 PM
2

I know. On the other hand, I find it really hard to develop empathy for men when I am constantly taught to view men as problems, not as feeling human beings.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/01/20 09:52 AM
1

If we have a problem with male violence (and I believe we do), we should acknowledge that and do our best in order to fix it. It's just that blaming men on a "systemic" basis (my favorite word today) and talking about "toxic masculinity" will not help at all. Similarly, if we have a problem with any other demographic, we should do the same thing. It may be an uncomfortable topic to left-wing people, but if we make it our topic, then we are in control how it is handled. If we just ignore it, we a…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/01/20 12:02 AM
2

To be painfully honest and open, I'd be more likely to feel "emasculated" by a woman who preaches "good boy" behavior but rewards (through her actions) "bad boy" behavior. I know this is quite a "nice guy" thing to say, but this is something visceral. We really have to distinguish "feminists" from "women" here. Feminism has a very negative view on male sexuality, but if all men just went MGTOW as a consequence, I don't think that would make the majority of women happy. I don't know how often wom…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/01/20 07:08 PM
2

If you were born a woman you would act exactly the way you do currently? That's an interesting question, but hard to answer. I'm a somewhat stereotypical men, as I have always been very interested in computers and in technology, but I think the "nerd" stereotype is still distinct from the usual male stereotype. My sister also knows how to program, but she just finds other things more interesting. Why? Well, I don't know. I certainly have a number of weird ideas how I am supposed to behave toward…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/01/20 06:24 PM
4

I do not think being a man has any inherent meaning to me. Things like my interests and my views have always been more important to me than my gender. Feminists would probably counter: "That's normal. Gender is only visible to those who face gender-based discrimination." And I probably never have. Think about the expectation for you (men) to initiate relationships. I have struggled with this a lot. From young age, I have learned how bad sexual harassment is, but I could not figure out how to app…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/01/20 05:48 PM
7

Maybe he is just hating himself very profoundly. EDIT: His Instagram profile looks very "gender-ambiguous".
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/01/20 04:44 PM
5

The reason you feel this way is because you are constrained by your gender role. I'm not sure about this. I have never been shamed for not being manly enough, for not earning enough money, for not having the right body type, for not going to war, or anything like that. The real shame that I feel is just about being a man and being held responsible for all the bad things that happen in this world. Granted, it rarely happens that someone confronts you and says: "You're a man, so you're evil." But …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/01/20 04:33 PM
2

I have not seen that much content from him, so let me ask honestly: Why do think he's a reactionary?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/01/20 03:56 PM
6

There are different kinds of feminists: Those that actually just hate men and want to push them down any way they can. Those that do not inherently hate men, but believe in feminist theory about "systemic"[*] oppression of women via the "patriarchy". Those that learned somewhere that "feminism is about equality" and want to support the cause, but do not question the means. Those that remember the good old days when feminism was about fighting for women's right to vote, get a higher education, ch…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/01/20 03:26 PM
1

I do see this as being unfair or at least suboptimal. Just because it's pragmatic doesn't make it particularly fair. Especially in modern rich countries where such pragmatism has become less necessary. Maybe this is my anti-capitalist leanings speaking, but I don't particularly think it should be society's goal to maximize the efficiency of exploitation of human beings. You understand my point. If we want to end discrimination, we have to end an economic system that inherently encourages discrim…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/12/19 10:22 AM
3

You certainly have a point there. There much more plausible reasons for the extinction of humans right now than low rates of reproduction, so it is probably a bad example in current days. I am myself also very much opposed to viewing women primarily as "reproductive resources". Nevertheless, communities who do so will likely produce more offsprings, giving that meme an evolutionary advantage.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/12/19 01:09 AM
0

I fully agree that many of our gender roles are outdated and/or arbitrary. For instance, there is no way that differences in the brain might explain the gender disparity in engineering classes, and I would be happy if that changed. Myself, I'm also a pretty "non-traditional" man, I would say. Thus, I refuse to call myself a traditionalist. There are still some things, however, that we cannot change right now, and those have implications. If one implication is that I have to die in the sinking sh…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/12/19 12:59 AM
4

I understand and agree with that concept, but I would just call it "liberalism", which I understand as "freedom + support" (in contrast to libertarianism, which is just about freedom). Thinking about this in terms of the French Revolution, I might also say "liberty + fraternity". The "equality" in their motto referred specifically to estates of the realm, as far as I know, and we do not have an equivalent for that today, any more.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/12/19 12:43 AM
5

Maybe this is one of the reasons why I hesitate to call myself an MRA, but when I think about "women and children first", it does not strike me as particularly wrong. I recognize that as a man, my function in society differs from that of women. I will probably still get mad if others get preferential treatment and I don't, and I fully understand those getting mad if it goes the other way around, but the one thing where equality really matters to me is dignity. If I have to die in the sinking shi…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates24/12/19 12:21 AM
2

Seems pretty made-up to me. Of course, Kavanaugh has his fanboys, but in general, the empathy gap goes the other way around.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/12/19 03:35 PM
3

(sorry Emma Watson!) Thanks for pointing that out. Her argument that "feminists by definition don't hate men" is like saying "the government never does anything bad because, by definition, it serves the people".
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/12/19 11:47 PM
3

Mixed. Educating people about the culture that they live in sounds like a good thing (obviously, both women and men), but that "political questionnaire" is pretty weird.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/12/19 11:37 PM
1

Perfect. That's how I like my labels. Well, "left-wing male advocate" is also nicely descriptive. I would say they are pretty different, in fact. Precisely because feminism tries to claim that WRA belongs to it. Someone who would call themselves a WRA instead of a feminist would almost immediately prompt the question "why not call yourself a feminist?", which is the goal. If you do a web search on that term, the term is mostly used to describe suffragettes (which is nice), but Hillary Clinton is…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/12/19 01:33 PM
1

If you look around, "women's (rights) advocacy" is in practice synonymous with feminism, so it has the same problems. "Egalitarianism" describes an abstract concept, but not really a political movement, and it is not necessarily related to gender. To me, it also kind of misses the point, as my ideal is not "treating everyone the same", but "treating everyone well", which is distinct from both equality of opportunity and equality of outcome. "Humanism" has the problem that it is even broader, and…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/12/19 12:04 PM
1

So, personally, I will keep saying it as it is : Feminism is and has always been a force for misandry and overall sexism in our societies, and anyone who reclaim themselves of it should be ashamed, because they are either pieces of shit, lazy ignorants or useful morons (and often a little bit of all three) . And I dare anyone who disagree to prove me wrong. I do disagree. I mentioned Rachel Oates, and to me, she seems to be neither of the things you mentioned. She probably has the lowest dislike…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/12/19 10:59 AM
1

It's unlikely that I will be asked such questions, but I do sort of feel that a certain position is expected.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/12/19 12:32 AM
3

Them: "Ah, you're that kind of person..." No, seriously, even if they answered "someone who is for equality", the next minute they will assume that I also support their ideas about "toxic masculinity". I definitely do not consider myself a feminist... although, if someone at work asked me this question, I would be somewhat afraid that saying "no" might cost me my job.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/12/19 11:35 PM
1

Let me try to rescue his statement... Societies which are open to leaders of either gender are more progressive. Traditionally, leaders have been male. Therefore, a female leader is a good sign.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/12/19 11:27 PM
1

My point is that if people ask me whether I'm a feminist and I say "no" due to the above reasons, they will assume I was against equality. We're pretty much in a "you're either with us or against us" situation right now.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/12/19 11:17 PM
2

There are feminists who see themselves in the tradition of those who fought for women's suffrage and either ignore everything that has happened in the past couple of years or do not want to leave the field to the "modern" feminists. Myself, I find that to be a pretty hard position to defend, but if they managed to reclaim the term that way, I would be more than happy.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/12/19 11:15 PM
3

How about: "You're against US drone strikes? Congratulations, you're a Jihadist!" Feminism has become so synonymous with a certain ideology that I think it deludes some people that they have to support a certain narrative if they want to support equality.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/12/19 11:04 PM
5

My criterion is mutual recognition. Liberal and radical feminists usually still recognize each other as feminists, although they will make sure to point out the differences. People who call themselves feminists without following the narrative are just dismissed by the other two groups. Thus, when I talk about feminists, they are usually not whom I have in mind.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/12/19 10:53 PM
5

I would be inclined to agree, if it were not for those who say: "You're for equality? Congratulations, you're a feminist!" It is still important to tell people that this is not how it works.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/12/19 10:47 PM
2

Although it is tempting to mirror that "you're part of a social structure which blablabla" argument back to feminists, it is also unfair, as it – just like the original argument – only hurts those who haven't done anything wrong.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/12/19 10:44 PM
8

I guess that communists have a similar problem when people associate them with Stalin... The difference is that being a communists or a feminist is a choice; being a man is not. Also, I specifically made this post because I myself think attacking feminists in a general manner is somewhat unfair, while if a man insists #notallmen, you know the backlash that will be coming.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/12/19 09:26 PM
2

My SO identifies as a feminist. However, she says she has never heard the terms "patriarchy" or "toxic masculinity" before I told her about them and insists that feminism is just a synonym for equality...
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates16/12/19 01:21 PM
1

For the vast majority of history there was no significant gendered power imbalance, men and women played separate rolls in early society, complimenting each others strengths and weaknesses. It was no more beneficial to be a caveman than a cavewoman - they both lived incredibly difficult and painful lives, full of struggle and hardship. I'm pretty sure that "separate roles" already counts as discrimination against women in feminist theory.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/12/19 10:20 PM
1

Is Emma Watson weak?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/12/19 03:27 PM
3

Well, even though tweeting #killallmen is bad, sending death threats to specific people is worse.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/12/19 01:32 PM
4

It strikes me, too, that so many feminists say they have been sexually assaulted. I mean, assuming that this is true, I am glad that they speak about it, and I am not the one to question them or ask for evidence or details. Nevertheless, it begs an explanation. I can think of these possibilities: The Rape Culture! Nearly all women are concerned, and those are just the ones speaking out. I think we can dismiss that. Women who have had bad experiences are more likely to become feminists. Very plau…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/12/19 05:48 PM
2

If you spread hatred, you will receive hatred in return. I do not defend the action or the reaction, because both are wrong.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/12/19 05:27 PM
6

What about C. H. Sommers being called as a fascist (on the poster)?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/12/19 05:22 PM
3

Unfortunately, I currently do not have any evidence for my claim right now, although I believe there exist studies where people were asked how much they value family and community. Anecdotally, I know a lot of women (especially elderly women on the countryside) for whom going to church is an important way to socialize.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/12/19 04:31 PM
7

I think it's because religion is usually associated with community. I assume that women are more loyal to their community, so they want to avoid the dispute that leaving the religion entails.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/12/19 04:00 PM
2

To be fair, I agree with the "natural order" argument to the extent that I believe there is a reason why some memes evolved the way they did. The difference is that I do not associate "natural" with "good".
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/12/19 03:24 PM
-1

Well, it is challenged by a lot of people on the right in the media... The fact that the same people "challenge" (i.e., deny) climate change does not help the cause at all, though.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/12/19 02:50 PM
15

Often, when I argue things like: "Feminism attacks men by [...]", the response is: "Oh, whoa, you can't say that! Feminism is a diverse movement with a bazillion of sub-flavors. Did you bother to learn about all of them before making that statement?" And it's true... There are some people who say reasonable things while calling themselves feminists. But you know what happens after that? "Well, those are not actual feminists. They are just using that term in order to legitimize their right-wing r…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/12/19 01:02 PM
6

To be fair, some of them do seem to be receiving death threats on a daily basis... Nobody deserves that, and it's definitely not nice.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/12/19 12:50 PM
1

Which is about as stupid as political lesbianism. Both would lead to extinction of the human species if people actually followed these ideas on a large scale.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/12/19 11:10 PM
1

I don't think MGTOW is about saying "OK, I'm not good at this, I'll stop trying", but rather about: "Women are bad and superficial creatures, so men should stay away from them."
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/12/19 01:25 PM
0

How people get from "men have more variance in dating success" to MGTOW has always been a mystery to me. It sucks to be on the side of the losers, but cannot force women to have sex with you.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/12/19 03:01 AM
1

Because retroactively claiming that you were just kidding seems like a perfect excuse. Imagine a high-school teacher: "Hey you, are you bullying that other kid?" – "Nah, we're just kidding." – "Ah, OK then."
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/12/19 06:08 PM
1

A: Is it mostly cultural or biological? If so, how and can it be tackled? One thing that should be kept in mind is that "cultural" does not mean "arbitrary", but cultural memes is a result of selective pressure just like genes. For instance, a society that sent women to fight in war rather than men would not have survived for very long. This, to this day, probably explains the expectation that men are supposed to be tough, while women are supposed to be protected. The other fallacy is assuming t…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/12/19 05:31 PM
2

You can have gender quotas, but how do you reduce harassment? It's not like there is a knob or something.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/12/19 12:31 AM
1

They also argue: "If you're used to privilege, then equality feels like oppression." In other words: If feminism hurts you, that means it's working.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/12/19 09:39 PM
1

I fully agree with that. The only way for her statements to make sense is to assume some a-priori guilt on the side of men. While most feminists would probably deny that they do so, it shows in their double standards.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/12/19 12:29 PM
2

The standard she first set was that "both partner should be free...", therefore, setting up then a double standard is logically inconsistent. It wouldn't have been logically inconsistent if she had come out straight with the double standard and said "women in a relationship should be free to...". It would just have been sexist. You're right. Maybe she meant to say: "Both partners should be free to decline sex at any time." Needless to say, I agree with that, and to be fair, she did not say what …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/12/19 11:48 AM
3

Hey, you're pretty much describing me!... Speaking about entitlement, though, I think it takes quite a bit of moral superiority to say: "Toxic masculinity? Cannot be me! I'm a feminist ally, so I am saved."
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/12/19 11:32 AM
2

Oh, I did not mean to criticize u/Blobbartus, but bell hooks. I get that she is not a scientist, and she is just conveying her own ideas about society. But this also means that if I do not share her ideas, it does not have any relevance to me.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/12/19 11:19 AM
3

Double standards are not a logical contradiction. bell hooks says: If a man wants more sex than the women and therefore demands an open relationship, it's the patriarchy. If a man does not want as much sex as the woman but is uncomfortable about an open relationship, it's also the patriarchy. Maybe it is actually the patriarchy in every case, maybe it's penis envy (makes shockingly much sense in this case), maybe it's due to a deity of your choice, we will never know. I support freedom of religi…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/12/19 11:11 AM
3

I understand MensLib as a group for men who want to dissociate themselves from the stereotype. That sounds like a good thing at first, as I do not particularly like the male stereotype, either; I just don't believe it works that way.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/12/19 01:44 AM
2

There we go with unfalsifiable statements that fit every thinkable data point... I cannot recommend this enough. EDIT: Sorry, maybe this was not clear... Not your statement is unfalsifiable, but bell hook's statement about the patriarchy.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/12/19 01:27 AM
5

My problem with "Men's Liberation" is that it puts men in the victim role alongside women, so they can both complain how they are suppressed by society. Listen, people: Together, you literally are society. It is up to you to decide how you want to live.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/12/19 01:19 AM
3

I do know that in her book "The Will to Change", she said very emphatically that she believes that violence against women does not come naturally to men and that it is a habit that is learned. That sounds like a nice statement when you're concerned about men, but I would partly disagree with her on that. Upbringing is certainly important in shaping a human being, and there are probably cultures in which they teach men that women deserve to be beaten. However, I would argue that in more civilized…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/12/19 12:53 AM
5

The Mission Statement summarizes it much better than I can do it right now, but my first main problem is the rhetoric: Things are often written in a pretty condescending and hostile tone. I understand that you sometimes need that in order to get attention, but those men who are actually misogynistic will probably just laugh about it and mock feminism even more for that, while to someone like me, who is well-meaning but does not necessarily support every feminist doctrine, it feels pretty insulti…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/12/19 12:37 AM
6

In the chapter on domestic violence, for example, she first goes on about how we need to redefine "patriarchal violence" (her term for DV) from merely male-on-female violence to practically all kinds of violence (male-on-male, female-on-female, adult-on-children)... except for female-on-male violence. I think this does a great disservice to male victims of female partner violence. If feminism is to fight patriarchal violence, but female-on-male violence is the only type that isn't included withi…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/12/19 12:01 AM
4

But this is the point... Feminism is very much about: "You're either with us, or you're against us." With the other side... Well, what is the other side? MRAs? Gender traditionalists?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates05/12/19 09:55 PM
4

I don't really like the term "somewhere in the middle", as it suggests that female and male interests somehow contradict – whereas, at least if you're on the left, that is hardly ever the case.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates05/12/19 09:46 PM
15

I am not specifically talking about Reddit, but also about newspaper articles (I think the Guardian has had some that I found pretty offensive), books, potential presidential candidates, ... Most women have pretty decent views themselves, but they (understandably) like to follow those who address their issues, even if those are the ones who divide, and unfortunately, they do sometimes adopt their rhetoric.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates05/12/19 09:28 PM
2

I think the purpose of the term is to blame men for their own issues. We did not need a new term to express that being closed-minded and sticking to stereotypes is bad for you. However, once you call it "toxic masculinity", you can assert that if a man has a problem, it is his privilege backfiring, while if a women has a problem, it is due to oppression.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates05/12/19 08:45 PM
1

The terms "patriarchy" and "toxic masculinity" are so malleable and unfalsifiable that they are both useless and dangerous. It is often asserted by feminists that one should reverse the genders in one's statements to see whether it sounds ridiculous, but it seems like feminists do not follow that advice very consistently themselves. Equality of outcome is a pointless objective.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates05/12/19 08:02 PM
14

My appearance is not overly masculine, and I don't share that many "typical male" interests. Yes, I've struggled with that at times (it was primarily girls who openly showed me their disapproval), but eventually I learned that being a man does not mean I have to conform to certain stereotypes. So, to the feminists who say they're concerned about men: I can deal with that. What I can not deal with is what many of you are saying about "toxic masculinity".
/r/MensRights05/12/19 06:17 PM
0

Sorry, I don't get it. If a woman and a man are married, they have the same socio-economic status to me, regardless of who does the shopping. In a marriage, women often learn less because they do other tasks (childcare, housework, etc.), but I would not call them privileged for that. Of course, if a woman chooses to "marry up", this raises her status, but this often comes from the fact that men in a marriage are older on average, and it's not so clear if this is due to women's or men's preferenc…
/r/MensRights30/11/19 07:05 PM
1

Wait, how can married women be privileged, while married men are disadvantaged? Compared to whom?
/r/MensRights30/11/19 10:41 AM
1

I think many feminists do not really distinguish between MGTOW and MRA... Both are considered reactionary by them.
/r/MensRights29/11/19 10:05 PM
3

I don't believe that actually happened. I find it more likely that your GF is projecting or misrepresenting the situation. It's possible this might have happened, either because the employer believes a man won't take paternity leave(men generally do not feel as entitled to parental leave the way women are and, if they did, women generally wouldn't want to date them) or will work harder and longer hours because they either need the money/position to attract women or to provide for one, but still …
/r/MensRights29/11/19 05:45 PM
2

It is probably a combination of things. First of all, in most relationships, men are older and therefore earn more money at the time that the children are born. Women, on the other hand, have to abstain from work for some time anyway in order to give birth, and they may also want to breastfeed. Whether this is what men are the happiest with, it's hard to speak for others. I know that if I have kids, I will want to spend time with them, as that seems so much more meaningful than most jobs out the…
/r/MensRights29/11/19 04:14 PM
3

Let me a little more specific: My girlfriend had a job interview, in which she was asked: "Why should we hire you if we could hire a man instead?" My ex-boss had to leave because some powerful men made it clear that they do not respect female leaders, and that she cannot have a career here. I don't know how commonplace things like these are nowadays, but they do still happen.
/r/MensRights29/11/19 04:03 PM
2

Fair question. A few years ago, my response would have been that this is a problem that we should solve together, by making daycare better, creating regulations for family-friendly work contracts, and paying financial compensation for those raising children, so people have freedom and don't get punished for their choice to have offsprings. Apparently the Soviet system, which I would otherwise not call particularly progressive in terms of gender stereotypes, had figured that out rather well, so m…
/r/MensRights29/11/19 03:53 PM
2

My interpretation is that women earn less money because they work less, mostly because they stay at home with their kids. This makes them very dependent on their husband, so if he dies or they separate, the woman will be in big financial trouble, especially after retirement.
/r/MensRights29/11/19 03:16 PM
1

The wage gap is often misinterpreted. However, I acknowledge that it's there and it's bad, nevertheless.
/r/MensRights29/11/19 03:09 PM
2

Sorry, maybe that was a misunderstanding. You are definitely not the reason why I feel like I'm not entitled to my own opinions. Rather, I don't want to think about it right now because the action of only clicking on this subreddit already felt like something "forbidden".
/r/MensRights29/11/19 02:47 PM
1

I don't know. I don't feel like I'm allowed to have my own opinions right now.
/r/MensRights29/11/19 02:40 PM
2

It would take a long time to go into all the details of that reasoning, but the short version is: Feminists said so, and as long as they are not outright lying to me about facts, I am ready to adopt their narrative, as it seems to be what is morally right.
/r/MensRights29/11/19 02:33 PM
3

Yes, I know that feminism is bigoted and only works if you ignore most of men's issues. Unfortunately, I am currently "brainwashed" enough to adopt that way of thinking.
/r/MensRights29/11/19 02:15 PM
1

Besides, why do you think someone's gender influences how "bad" they are? If you replaced male CEOs with female CEOs, would anything really be any different? Lots of people say so...
/r/MensRights29/11/19 02:02 PM
0

In 2011 in the US, "Males constituted 87.9% of those arrested for robbery". Isn't that pretty clear?
/r/MensRights29/11/19 01:57 PM
1

Men hold more positions of power, so if they do something bad, it has a larger impact.
/r/MensRights29/11/19 01:43 PM
2

My girlfriend and other female friends of mine do identify as feminists.
/r/MensRights29/11/19 01:15 PM
2

In the major German weekly news magazine: https://www.spiegel.de/thema/spon_stokowski/ In the English-speaking world, The Guardian is full of it, too. I admit that I sometimes do search for these kinds of things, but it's not like I wouldn't encounter them if I didn't.
/r/MensRights29/11/19 01:10 PM
2

Oh, I don't have to go on Reddit for that. Over here, you find weekly feminist commentary in about every newspaper. It is definitely mainstream.
/r/MensRights29/11/19 12:57 PM
1

I think you have to distinguish what women want from what feminism propagates. The latter is easy and perfectly consistent: Just be like women.
/r/MensRights29/11/19 12:54 PM
2

Can you elaborate on how expectations on men are contradictory?
/r/MensRights29/11/19 12:10 PM
1

A lot of the problems that women face are unfortunately hard to quantify. How do you put a number on "People don't take me seriously due to my gender"?
/r/MensRights29/11/19 11:51 AM
2

I get the point, but it's a difficult subject. Usually I think it's a good idea to identify the root of a problem, like, when I neo-Nazi attack happens somewhere, I think that it should be pointed out as a neo-Nazi attack, as much as an Islamist attack should be pointed out as Islamist. Feminists like to do the same thing, and whenever a man does something bad (which unfortunately happens way too often), they point out "toxic masculinity". I'm not even saying that is wrong, as men are, for insta…
/r/MensRights29/11/19 11:41 AM
1

That's the issue... I know many women who identify as feminists, but when I ask them: "So, you think that men are toxic?", they say: "Of course not. I love men!" All they have heard is that feminism fights for women's rights, and I would never blame them for supporting that fight, but they are apparently oblivious of what mainstream feminism today is actually about.
/r/MensRights29/11/19 09:58 AM
2

Current feminism is teaching us that we're bad, but not anything about the good in ourselves and how to express it in daily life. Always remember the majority of feminists come from a place of hurt, confusion, or anger and need to offload these feelings into something that can provide them hope. They're not in a place to connect to men and truly understand how to enact change, they simply demand that everything be fixed. This is so true. They constantly demand men to change, but hardly ever talk…
/r/MensRights29/11/19 09:47 AM
1

On the other hand (this might be an unpopular opinion here), I still think that on average, women have it worse than men, so I can understand why one would specifically support women.
/r/MensRights29/11/19 09:38 AM
1

To be fair, for all the other groups you mentioned, socio-economic status is the hidden variable, but saying "Poor people are terrible" is too obviously wrong. Men, on the other hand, are just seen as this homogeneous group that has all the privileges, so apparently they think it's OK to attack them.
/r/MensRights29/11/19 09:33 AM
4

His political views seem very different from mine.
/r/MensRights29/11/19 09:12 AM
4

While I'm definitely not a fan of Jordan Peterson, he does have a point here. I don't see why I would exclusively support men, though.
/r/MensRights29/11/19 03:15 AM
8

Unfortunately, there is a pretty large number of bad guys out there, and I personally know a handful of women who have experienced bad things, so I wouldn't say it was all false. I just wonder how I can support women without joining the religion of feminism...
/r/MensRights29/11/19 02:59 AM
0

Yes, maybe. Nowadays, though, I think most feminists have a pretty left-wing stance, and so do I, so if they make specific suggestions on how to improve certain things, I will usually agree. I don't know why they so often act like they knew men would be against it.
/r/MensRights29/11/19 02:30 AM
5

I should have made this clearer, but I'm not saying that any of my problems were caused by feminism. But without all the hostile commentary that has fully reached mainstream media, I think I wouldn't have had to contact my therapist for the second and the third time.
/r/MensRights29/11/19 02:16 AM
1

I didn't want to mention it in the OP, but statements like this are the reason why I don't want to call myself an MRA. While feminism certainly gets a lot of things wrong, it has a point in how badly women are still often treated in a lot of places (including the Western world). If they could just state it without all this hostile rhetoric that is fueling my obsessive thoughts, they would have an ally in me.
/r/MensRights29/11/19 02:01 AM
6

In theory, I know that what pretty much everyone wants is women and men respecting themselves and each other as human beings. Yet, when I read all about privilege, "implicit bias", and "toxic masculinity", this does not appear to be an option...
/r/MensRights29/11/19 01:47 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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