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Girl_Dad42 Archive

View 7 posts and 126 comments by Girl_Dad42 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Yep…multiple times. First time was a year later after the boyfriend left her. Didn’t even give it a thought. No thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/26 08:32 PM
3

Don’t stay just because you’re worried about the kids. As long as you make the effort to be a part of their life and raise them with morals and values, they will be okay. As far as your relationship, the trust is gone and I don’t know how you can get that back. You will be a mess every time she travels for work. It will wear on your mental health.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 11:27 AM
5

If you stay together, you will never be able to trust her and will never have peace of mind when she says she’s going out with friends. Get a divorce. You deserve better. This is supposed to be the time where you’re supposed to enjoy each other and have fun now that your kid is out of the house. She ruined that.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 12:08 PM
6

This is part of the process. Day by day. It gets better.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 11:03 PM
6

You should be very happy. No more alimony!!!
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 12:50 PM
3

Yep. Blame attorneys that fought for this when the change was made in 2019.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 06:44 PM
3

Seems NH is a lot more friendlier than FL.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 04:41 PM
5

I had to pay for my ex’s attorney on top of mine. This was after she blew through her savings. During the discovery, the ex didn’t feel like going through all her accounts to provide the documentation so she just gave the account passwords to her attorney to gather the documentation. I told her at one point that you just cost yourself at least $2k because of her laziness.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 02:51 PM
2

How old are you? I was over 50 and found it a lot easier. A lot less BS overall.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 06:43 PM
9

The whole system is skewed against men. No one cares because we don’t look sympathetic to the average person. Look at the most recent kick in the nuts with the change in Federal tax law where the person paying alimony cannot deduct it from their income and the person receiving doesn’t have to claim it as income. Lawyers and lobbyists will continue to screw us until we are able to organize in some sort of way.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 11:48 AM
2

There’s someone out there for you. Always remember that you cannot change anyone so when you meet someone make sure your morals and values are aligned.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 11:42 AM
2

Cut her off and start living your life. She’s in the past now. Now it’s about you and what you want.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 10:55 AM
3

It’s entirely up to you and where you are mentally. It will also depend on what type of relationship you’re looking for right now. I jumped right back in after my divorce was finalized. I didn’t look for anything long term. Just to go out and have fun. I was ready for that mentally. Just nothing long term at that moment. Each person is different and there is no set time.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 10:53 AM
5

Hahaha…I asked if it she was bluffing when she decided to cheat.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 11:43 AM
20

My ex wrote me a year after everything was finalized and said she never actually wanted a divorce but was only bluffing. This was of course after she was dumped by her boyfriend who she was messing around with while still married. No regrets at all on my part. My life is great and I’m out of a bad marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 03:16 AM
3

I dealt with the pain and struggle while going through it. It is temporary but there is no set time to get through it. Everyone’s journey is different. Many people who had been through told me it gets better on the other side. They were right now that I’m there. It will get better.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 11:02 AM
8

Wish I spent down my savings account.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 03:00 AM
3

Lessons learned. It not only has to be discussed but if she isn’t doing it before the marriage, then she won’t do it during the marriage. They are who they are and you can’t change anyone.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 02:04 PM
15

Better to have the discussion before marriage. I had those discussions numerous times during my marriage to my ex. Nothing ever changed and it lead to constant arguments.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 11:57 AM
2

If you don’t need that care while your kids are in your custody then you shouldn’t need to pay. I went through it and I have 50% custody of my kids. My ex told me that she was going to get after care and that I’m going to have to split the costs for her. It was all stipulated in our custody agreement and I reminded her that at some point she should really read the agreement. Needless to say, she wasn’t too happy.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 10:52 AM
2

Guys will continue to be screwed until there is an attempt to organize to lobby and have a voice. Changes to legislation involving divorce in states come at the insistence of attorney’s and usually not to benefit the guy.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/23 04:36 PM
1

Sounds like mortgage fraud too
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 02:39 PM
2

You don’t want her back! It hurts like hell but she has no respect for you and you cannot trust her. Move on and make sure to take care of your daughter. She’s still at a developmental stage in her life and needs someone stable to instill those morals and family values. It doesn’t seem like she will get that from her mother.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 01:09 PM
1

Happened to me. I bought her out and kept the house. It didn’t cost me too much because there wasn’t too much equity. If that’s not a possibility for you right now, I would sell and cut your losses. You don’t want to have to deal with her later.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 01:00 PM
5

We took a pause mid-divorce to try and work it out. I was skeptical because I knew she was struggling to find a job. Plus, I had an idea there might be someone else. The pause lasted about 3 weeks and then we moved forward with the divorce. About a year after the divorce was finalized and she moved out, she tried telling me that she really didn’t want a divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 10:32 AM
2

Six months after our divorce was finalized, ex asked to come back to the house to look on the desktop computer for old pics and some docs. Told her that her profile was deleted on that computer and nothing of hers exists on it anymore. I was called a few nasty words but she was in the house the whole ten months we were going through the divorce. She had plenty of time to get what she needed.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 12:50 AM
5

About a year after and after he boyfriend left, she tried telling me she was only bluffing when she said she wanted a divorce. I just laughed at her. I realize that I’m way better off without out her. I was unhappy for years and always thought things would change for the better. She was never going to change. She is who she is at this point in her life.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 12:29 AM
1

Way better after the divorce
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 04:58 PM
3

Could honestly care less.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 08:37 PM
1

Don’t love the ex nor do I hate her. Just want nothing to do with her. Unfortunately, I still have to deal with her due to our 2 kids. Luckily all interaction is through an app so I don’t have to deal with the verbal attacks when I say no to something. I treat everything with her as a business transaction. I am unable to co-parent with her for a lot of reasons of her own making. I have joint custody of my kids and do what I feel I need to do to raise them to be responsible, independent adults in…
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/23 01:16 PM
1

Exactly!! Enjoy the ride. Think of the funny stories you’ll be able to tell. Stop looking for the next “one” on every date and enjoy the moment. Even if it’s a shit show. You can still laugh afterwards.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/23 02:22 PM
2

Day care at a young age isn’t just so you can work. It also benefits the kids. It helps socialize them and the better ones even do some teaching. Your mother can help with pick up and drop off. If it’s not about finances then never give up 50/50. Your kids need you in their life. Especially at their current ages which is their formative years. These are the ages where you build morals and values that will last them the rest of their lives.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 02:50 PM
2

Run fast!!! It won’t get better no matter what she tells you.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/23 10:19 AM
2

I get that it’s their mother but for the sake of your kids, I’d move to gain primary custody of them now.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 01:58 AM
1

You’re divorced. She has no say. You’ve been in the relationship over a year. I could understand if you were flying through girlfriends and introducing each one to your kids but that isn’t the case. Agree to disagree on this one and do as you wish.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 10:02 AM
3

Get a HELOC or a cash out refinance to buy her out of the house. You can even tap into 401k funds. At the end of the day, it’s not the end of the world if you have to sell the house. Depending on how long you lived there, it might hold too many memories making it difficult for you to move on.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 10:35 AM
2

All this doesn’t matter if they’re already sleeping with someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/23 01:02 PM
4

About a year after everything was finalized, my ex told me she was only bluffing about wanting a divorce. I just laughed at and asked was that before or after she was spreading her legs for someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 07:02 PM
1

Exactly, always remember…..not your monkey, not your circus. I think the term is overused but I truly believe my ex is a narcissist. My attorney and therapist made sure that the only way we communicate is through an app (Our Family Wizard). It’s been life saving as she still tries to antagonize but at least all the history is documented. Unfortunately, I still have to deal with her because of the kids at least the app allows me some peace. She even tried to get me agree to stop using the app and…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 01:43 PM
1

I didn’t care after I got over the betrayal. Wound up better off as she was a head case and everyone after me would get sick of it after awhile. I did well enough myself and had a lot of fun.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 11:58 PM
2

Smart move using OFW. Don’t get baited. That’s what narcissists do. They try to bait you into responding harshly. Don’t give up. Your son is worth it. Always remember that.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 12:00 PM
1

Cost me about a grand for a forensic accountant to calculate it but well worth it. Saved me a couple hundred thousand.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/23 01:03 PM
1

I acknowledge the red flags and run. At my age (50+), people are who they are at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/23 12:55 PM
3

It isn’t that simple. You have to figure in the growth over those years of the non-marital portion. If you had $100k in a 401k prior to marriage and divorce after 10 years. You have to calculate the year over year growth of the $100k over those 10 years and deduct that from the marital portion.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/23 11:31 AM
3

It’s a negotiation. Of course they’re going to make a ridiculous first request. Respond with one of your own. I had a similar thing happen during mediation. I knew what my exposure was and the worst and best case scenarios.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/23 07:54 PM
2

It goes away after time. The first time is the toughest because it’s pretty much the proverbial “final nail in the coffin.” Hopefully you have a therapist. It helped me a lot to sort through everything and put it in perspective.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/23 11:32 AM
2

It’s due to anxiety. I had it when I was going through my divorce. Since it’s still happening to you, it’s a sign that you’re still not emotionally over the hurt and pain. Talk to a therapist. I used one while going through the process and she was even there for me when I had anxiety attacks outside of our normally scheduled session. I also suggest creating some type of exercise routine if you haven’t done so already which will help release the “happy” hormones to your brain.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 11:34 AM
1

Not worth the energy to let it all out to her. It won’t change anything. I do recommended that you make sure that all contact between you both is done through an app. Otherwise, she’ll continue to throw shots at you or twist things around and you’ll have no record of the conversation. I use Our Family Wizard with my ex and it has saved me multiple times. She has tried to get me into arguments over and over because she’s just like your STBX.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/23 01:53 PM
1

Make sure to request the mortgage application during the discovery portion if it really is going to start involving lawyers. That loan she created won’t be on there and you’ll be able to call her out for creating it later.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/23 11:30 AM
3

Be grateful that it happened after only 4 years of marriage. It won’t wreck you financially. You’re young and have a whole life ahead of you. Give yourself time. It gets better. Make sure you have a close circle of family and friends to talk to you. Find a therapist as well. It helps to get all the feelings out.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 10:52 PM
5

Actually….keep talking about it. That’s how you survive it. I was lucky to have my circle of family and friends to talk to while I was going through it. I found it helped tremendously along with talking to a therapist.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 09:16 PM
1

About 5 months into the divorce after I found out there was someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 05:38 PM
3

Use an app to communicate only. Make sure it’s written in your agreement that all non-emergency contact shall be through the application. I use Our Family Wizard and it’s saved me a lot of aggravation. I even put in the agreement that I have 24 hours to respond if a response is required. Also, try to predict any future issues regarding custody and extra curricular activities is spelled out in the agreement. Anything open to interpretation by your ex will just cause issues.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/22 11:24 AM
1

They tried it in Florida. Most of the noise was coming from divorce attorneys. It was tabled and nothing was done moving forward. Politicians are bought. They don’t do something because it’s the right thing to do. They legislate based on who and how much a group contributes to their campaign
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/22 11:27 AM
1

I made sure in my Mediated Settlement Agreement that all communication must go through Our Family Wizard app unless it’s an emergency. My narcissistic ex had tried to go around it but I don’t engage.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/22 05:34 PM
1

If you could afford to keep the house, then do it. You will need to buy her out.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 04:37 PM
1

What do you mean by better? Emotionally? You’re going to go through tons of emotions. Don’t fight them. Accept them but work through them. Hopefully, you are already seeing a therapist. Also, have a close circle of trusted friends and family that you can call when you really need to talk it out. One thing I kept saying to myself is to keep looking forward. You can’t change anything in the past. You now have the ability to create the life you want! Look for the positives throughout the process an…
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/22 12:09 PM
2

Do it now. The longer you wait, the longer you’ll pay alimony and also based on a higher salary. It won’t get better. Narcissists don’t change. I never knew what one was until after I divorced. I always thought it was a maturity issue and entitlement issue based on how she was raised. I was married for 13 years and should have walked away probably 9 years ago when her narcissistic behaviors really showed after the birth of our kids. Your kids will be fine. Also, think about the example of marria…
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/22 10:40 AM
1

Not sure how long you’ve been divorced or where you are in the process but it gets better. It really is hard. Hope you have a good circle of people you can talk to and a therapist. There are a lot of emotions involved but it will get better. Even though I didn’t want the divorce at first, through time, I realized it was for the best. I wasn’t happy in the marriage but mentally, I thought I could fix it and things would change. Adults don’t change, they are who they are. Keep your head up and kee…
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/22 11:03 AM
1

Nope. Not wrong. My situation was the same as yours as far as the ex. Told me one day she wanted a divorce. Found out there was someone in her ear. I have 50/50 custody and made sure in my custody agreement that I had time with each of my daughters should they not be with me on their birthdays. I haven’t been asked to do anything jointly with the ex but I’m sure it will happen at some point with some milestone events coming within the next year. I would have refused to join them for a birthday d…
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/22 10:46 AM
3

For peace of mind, only allow communication through a family app. I use Family Wizard. It helps keep everything documented and prevents the nasty phone calls when she doesn’t have her way.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/22 01:32 AM
2

He’s been divorced for a little longer and his ex-wife lives out of state.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/22 12:32 AM
2

Already spoke to my attorney. Just wanted to make sure all bases are covered. Any documentation would be acquired through a subpoena. Of course, documenting things now make it easier later so nothing gets missed.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/22 03:21 PM
4

I’m in FL. The standard here is a supportive relationship. Case law states that it is not just commingled accounts as smart ex’s will just keep things separate. There are other ways to prove a supportive relationship. I’m in the process of documenting everything to make sure my ducks in a row prior to filing.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/22 01:04 PM
4

Thanks! I already figured I would need to hire a PI. I live in FL and it’s a supportive relationship. Case law shows it just doesn’t need to be joint accounts but supportive in other ways too.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/22 01:01 PM
2

You’re welcome. It’s normal to lose your cool during these times. I lucked out in that my mediation was through Zoom due to the Covid outbreak.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/22 08:44 PM
7

I gave my ex more of my 401k to buy her out of the house. I still had to refinance because she was listed on the mortgage. It benefited me anyway because I wound up getting a lower rate. The buyout of her share of the house is the equity. If it’s worth $600k and you still have a mortgage debt of $400k, you would need to pay her $100k. Hopefully, you can agree to the value of the residence. If not, an appraisal is only $500. If you’re far apart and you’re pretty sure of your numbers than you may …
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/22 08:08 PM
4

I starting dating around about 5-6 months after the papers were filed. During that time, it was just for fun with no intention of getting into anything serious. My divorce was finalized about 8 months after the paperwork was filed. I continued to date around and really clicked with someone about 2 months after my divorce was finalized. It’s been over 9 months with her and things have been great. I’m not rushing into anything. We’ll see how it goes.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/22 02:00 AM
1

Communicate with her through the app. You do not need to communicate with the kids through the app and can communicate with them directly. I put it in my settlement agreement that all communication with my ex is only through the app. It saves me a lot of aggravation.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/22 04:30 PM
3

Run fast. It will never get any better.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/22 04:17 PM
3

Day by day. It sucks going through it. Occupy yourself. Running really helped me and I hate running.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/22 01:59 AM
3

Same boat. Ex told me in January 2021 that she wanted a divorce. It sucked going through it but it went rather quickly. Divorce was finalized last September. Over a year later and life is so much better. Everyone who was divorced told me it gets better on the other side and they were right. Best move I made is stipulating that the only way we communicate is through the family Wizard app.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/22 01:23 AM
1

It sucked going through it but after 7 months of it being official, I have no regrets at all. I couldn’t be happier. My ex was never going to make any changes to make our relationship bearable.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/22 10:52 AM
4

I haven’t hit a year divorced yet but I celebrate every day. Everything I heard from people who went through it was true. It’s hell going through it but life is better on the other side.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/22 01:34 AM
6

Get over it but stop being nice. It’s a business negotiation. If you’re going to give her the house then she should buy you out or negotiate the equity into her taking less from a 401k, alimony, etc. I never moved out and lived with my ex while we were going through the divorce. I found out shortly after the divorce started that there was someone else. She never bought him into the house. I know for sure because of the security cameras.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/22 11:14 AM
2

Consider yourself lucky. You’re still young. You basically found out your wife liked you for the material things you could provide. She’s not in love with you and probably never was. You’ll rebuild your wealth and in the meantime collect alimony from her. Chalk it up to a lesson learned and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 12:48 AM
1

About to finish up my divorce and I will say at this moment……NO!!
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/21 01:14 PM
3

She wants her cake and to eat it too! Move forward with the divorce. The current situation isn’t fair to you!!
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/21 02:02 AM
1

Good luck! Like I said I was in the same boat. My STBXW still lives in the house. I finally have a date for her to leave which can’t come soon enough. I’m here if you ever need to vent.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/21 01:59 AM
2

I was in the same boat as you back in February. 48 years old and had moved to a new state 8 months prior with no family around. My STBXW and my kids had been my life. I promise you that it gets better. I was lucky and made some friends through work that helped me get through it. I also spoke with family and old friends pretty much daily in the beginning. Lastly, I found a therapist and met with them weekly. Vent here as well. There are different stages emotionally that you are going to go throug…
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/21 12:06 PM
2

Me too! One of the best things I did during the process.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/21 11:08 AM
1

How reasonable is your STBXW? Her attorney probably put the spousal support number in her head. I really doubt she will sit and listen to you. Does Mn use a formula? If this is the only sticking point, I would try mediation for an hour or two and if it looks like she isn’t budging then end it and go to trial. Just make sure you’re on point with your numbers and that you’re likely to win.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/21 11:58 AM
1

You will be okay. And say that to yourself multiple times per day. What you’re got through is normal. I was the same way earlier this year. It gets better. I promise. It does. Now is the time to find a therapist. Find your support circle consisting of family and friends that you trust and can share your deepest feelings. Talking helps. Exercise, exercise and exercise. It helps release the good hormones throughout your body. Plus, it will exhaust you so you can get some sleep. We’re here for you …
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/21 01:50 AM
1

Sad that it took 10 years for the system to right a wrong. 10 years may not seem like a lot to adults but it is a majority of the kids childhood. Praying the damage done to the kids is not irreparable.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/21 10:47 AM
1

This! 100%. Went through the same thing and his advice is spot on. It will take time.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/21 10:57 AM
3

This is my experience as well. I lived on my own from 19 until 33 before I was married. I learned how to do everything (cook, clean, laundry, etc). I managed the money for the household and paid all of the bills too. STBXW has never lived on her own and is going to have her eyes opened.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/21 12:21 AM
2

Also, don’t put the kids in the middle. Do not call your daughter to find out any information about your STBXW. I know it’s difficult. I’m going through it too except my STBXW is still living in the house and carrying on with a new squeeze.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/21 12:08 PM
4

I really need to do this. Hoping divorce is final next month and moves out of the house soon. I’m making sure all contact is through text and only about the kids when that time comes. Let her vent and rant to her fling.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/21 07:38 PM
2

I wouldn’t worry about it. You should have no issues getting 60/40. She may make it a little hard on you once she sees the credit card statements during the discovery process.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/21 03:37 AM
3

In Florida, you actually need to provide 3 years of statements. I can’t see how subscribing to those sites while separated would screw you. Are you aiming for joint custody (50/50)?
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/21 03:20 AM
3

Yep….I think my STBXW is one. Can’t go a day without posting a selfie on social media. Constant sense of entitlement and nothing is her fault. We tried marriage counseling a few years ago and there were things that we both needed to work on. Guess who didn’t like the marriage counselor because in her words the counselor pretty much sided with me. We went back to another counselor when we tried to reconcile and she didn’t think she had anything to work on. The issues with our marriage were all my…
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/21 06:13 PM
4

Sorry your going through this. I was in the same boat when my STBXW hit me with a wanting out of the marriage earlier this year. I knew we had problems but not that severe that divorce was the answer. I didn’t want a divorce and wanted to work out our issues. I was focusing on the good moments in the marriage. What I found out after talking to family and friends is that the marriage was bad and I was the one making all of the effort to make it work. I realized that I will be better off and often…
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/21 11:13 AM
2

Thanks! Been working out and running regularly. I’ve been trying meditation but find my mind starts wandering. I’ll keep at it. It’s tough right now because we’re still living in the same house and have to see her everyday. I think she’s also trying to hang on to me as a plan B. I know she’s been messing around with someone else and confronted her. I’m hoping we’re near the finish line and can wrap this up by the end of August.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/21 05:57 PM
3

I’m trying!! I have moments where I get to the point that I realized my life will be better off without her but then later in the day there will be something that reminds me of the good times that we had. I keep trying to trick my mind to look forward.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/21 12:19 PM
3

The sense of entitlement was amazing and not to mention the lack of appreciation for everything already provided. It was always the chase after the shiny new object.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/21 04:04 PM
2

I noticed it early but figured she would mature as she entered into her 30’s and kids arrived. Boy was I wrong!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/21 10:17 PM
1

What is the name of the group?
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/21 04:16 PM
6

Thanks. It was money for the longest time. It damaged our relationship because of her inability budget properly. At the end, there was someone in her ear that pushed her toward divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/21 03:58 PM
3

Yeah….I realized it when I asked for an example of me being controlling and she couldn’t provide it. There were tons of situations where I just went with the flow. The few times that I voiced my opinion, I was labeled controlling. She is just a spoiled princess that was not used to being told no.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/21 11:24 PM
9

Nothing was ever enough for my STBXW. I’d give in at times to make her happy and it would only come back to bite me in the ass because next time I was called controlling and other names if I stood my ground and said no.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/21 09:48 PM
6

Thanks for the post. Describes my situation. No matter what I did, it was never enough for the spoiled and entitled princess. Gives me hope that I’ll get through the sadness and anxiety. Everyone that I know that’s been through a divorce tells me it’s better on the other end
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/21 01:55 PM
7

Hoping I can be in the same boat once everything is final. I feel the same way about my STBXW right now. I ripped into her on Father’s Day for everything she has put me through (smearing my name to family and friends) since she let me know she wanted a divorce. I also found out there was someone else in the picture whispering sweet nothings in her ear. I can never forgive her for that.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/21 02:15 PM
2

Same boat. In the middle of everything. I am really going to miss not seeing my girls every day. I’ve tucked them into bed and kissed them goodnight since they were infants.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/21 07:59 PM
2

Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/21 04:49 PM
2

It took awhile. I was a mess the first month. I have a huge support system along with a therapist. Being able to talk about the situation or my feelings with others that have been through it has been tremendously helpful.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/21 12:03 PM
6

Thanks! In the end, I can hold my head up high because I gave it my best effort. I reminded her a few times that just as it takes two to make a marriage work, it takes two to make a marriage fail. She didn’t want to take any responsibility. Time to move on.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/21 03:07 AM
12

Same was happening to me until I just got it through my head that the marriage was over and I don’t care anymore. It took awhile to get to that point.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/21 01:04 AM
3

I’ve been going through the same thing. The smart ones asked questions and saw through the BS. There were others where I knew the husband of her girlfriend and I told the husband the truth. Of course, she yelled at me for that which I could care less because she doesn’t get to tell me who I can/can’t speak to. I was resigned to the fact that there were her little circle of minions that will believe everything she says and didn’t worry about those people because they’re irrelevant in my life. Her…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/21 12:24 PM
1

STBX told me she wants to be friends after the divorce is final. I told her that I will always be cordial due to the kids but we aren’t going to be friends. Once we’re done, we’re done!
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/21 03:12 PM
1

Update: At the end of last month, she came to me and asked to put the divorce on hold while we went to couples therapy to try to work things out. I agreed and talked to my attorney. Divorce paperwork was still filled and nothing would be dismissed. Well, the first 2 weeks were great then by the third week she became a little distant and some of the BS started where I didn’t see her making an effort. Told her last week that I was done and emailed the attorney to keep the paperwork moving. I tried…
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/21 02:00 PM
1

Making comments to the dog in front of me about finding someone that is happy to see her.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/21 06:41 PM
1

Just more of the same. Brought up the boundaries issue at couples therapy and she started getting passive aggressive. The mixed signals still continue. At this point, I’m just going to stop trying to read into anything and continue forward with the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/21 04:58 PM
2

Thanks! Took awhile to get to this place mentally. I was a mess the first few weeks and would’ve done anything to save the marriage. Through the help of family and friends, they made me aware how one sided the marriage really was. I didn’t realize it at the time because I was always trying to make the marriage work. There were times that I’d get frustrated and think about divorce but I’d get over it because I was programmed that marriage is work and not to give up on it. I realized after this al…
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/21 01:04 PM
2

Yeah...definitely trying to make this go quickly but also making sure I protect myself. A few co-workers recommended the attorney that I’m using and they made out well.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/21 11:13 PM
3

Still moving forward. She’s put me through hell.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/21 10:54 PM
1

Absolutely! Everything is a game to her.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/21 10:53 PM
2

I think that’s what she may be trying to do. I won’t let it happen.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/21 08:21 PM
4

Thanks. I think her taking control of her life is part of what is making her nervous. I’ve done everything and supported her during our marriage. Now she’s going to have to grow up.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/21 08:19 PM
3

Thanks. I do think that she has NPD. I’ve read up on grey rock and started acting that way a few weeks ago. She’s definitely upset that I’m not reacting to the shots that she takes at me now and then. Thankfully I have great support from family that have been through it and even saw how I was mistreated during the marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/21 08:17 PM
5

Thanks. I told her this morning that it’s been 2 months since I went to the attorney and the paperwork was filed and asked if anything has changed. She said no so I told her that I made the right decision. She stated again that she told me she was angry and needed time process everything. I asked to what end! It’s not fair to me to just hang there wondering what is happening with our marriage and reminded her she told me multiple times it was over.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/21 06:32 PM
3

There was more that she blamed me for but didn’t want to make the post too long.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/21 05:59 PM
1

Which is why I ignore her and it pissed her off to the point of starting an argument which I also walked away from.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/21 07:51 PM
5

It happened out of the blue for me too. I knew we had some issues but never to the extent that she’d ask for a divorce. She had problems communicating and never brought up how she was feeling until she asked for a divorce. She then claimed I was verbally abusive and controlling. I asked for examples of both since I never called her names during arguments, was never violent, etc. She was never able to provide any examples. I did yell at times but she yelled right back. She couldn’t provide any ex…
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/21 01:05 PM
5

In the same boat. Stbx has been posting passive aggressive memes on social media, trying to rewrite the past and blaming me for all of her issues. I’ve taken the high road on the memes on social media but people send me screen shots which I document. I’ll wait to something until after the documents have all been signed by a judge and the divorce is official.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/21 12:44 PM
1

Couldn’t agree more that you’re dealing with a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Best bet is to prepare yourself and your kids to get out of the marriage at this point. She won’t listen to you and will sabotage any efforts to help.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/21 12:42 AM
2

Thanks. I can pretty much say with 99.9% certainty there was no infidelity. There are some mental issues (NPD) that have never been treated.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/21 01:10 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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