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ImpertinentNazgul Archive

View 7 posts and 40 comments by ImpertinentNazgul on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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11

Single dad with 50/50, started when my daughter was 14 months old. First, give yourself some grace, man. You’re engaged with your kids, you’re putting in the effort, spending time with them, and they see that. Second, outsource what you can afford to, as much as you can afford to. Free grocery delivery option? Take it. Housekeeping service every week or two within the budget? Do it. Third, get your kids involved as much as you can with helping out. They can make their beds, do little stuff to he…
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/26 02:59 AM
1

You’re absolutely correct. You have a roughly 40% chance of beating the odds. I hope you do, genuinely, if another marriage is what you want. But, a lot of us are answering your question with the same answer. What we learned was “don’t get married again”. You’re opening yourself up to all manner of problems and issues for what is, in effect, the worst property contract you’ll ever sign. Other than a tax break and/or a religious component (which I’m not dismissing, important for a lot of people),…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 11:31 AM
3

Statistically, you’re asking to get your life blown up again. Ask me how I know… Date long-term. All the opportunities for romance and heartbreak, without opening yourself up to financial ruin, court appearances, and police reports/interactions.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 10:55 AM
1

Going to depend on where you live and your age bracket. There’s no easy answer here, and they’re all their own special type of shit show. Hinge, Bumble, Tinder, etc. It’s the dating equivalent of the job hiring process…you’re screaming into the void and hoping someone answers, lol. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/26 05:58 PM
6

Carbs for energy. Empty the tank for longevity. Don’t overthink it. It’s a hookup, not algebra, so have fun. Live your life, bro!
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 11:51 AM
1

This is the way, brother. Use your circle of people. Talk stuff out. Vent the people that will let you vent. Therapy might be for you also. Focus on taking care of yourself, building your future, and getting your head straight. I struggled with sleep (still do), but exercise was a lifesaver for me. Regulates emotion, gives your conscious and subconscious a break, and it starts giving you something to feel good about. Keep going, man. You’ll get through.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 01:25 PM
2

This. I’d generalize it as “exercise” versus just running, but the principle holds. It really does help.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 10:55 AM
5

This. Also, don’t feel bad about “outsourcing” stuff that gives you time to focus on other things, if your situation allows it. I cook dinner every night for my kid using fresh, healthy stuff. That’s important to me, but it takes time. So, I make full use of the local grocery’s free pick up service after I order through the app. I live pretty cleanly, but I have a cleaning service come in every 2 weeks. I can vacuum and stuff, but I’d rather spend time with my kid on weekends than cleaning toile…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 01:37 PM
13

Divorce final this March. I was absolutely used. Paid for her and her two kids lifestyles for a decade, helped her dramatically improve her career, and never really questioned her intent. The minute we hit even the remotest rough patch (I was underemployed for 18+ months), she cheated and bailed. BUT. Jokes on her. The money we split out of the divorce, she used to keep showing off for the neighbors and I put into the market and have been making bank. Just landed a job that’s a 100% salary incre…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 05:17 PM
1

I don’t know. And for a mind like mine, not knowing will bug me forever. I think she liked the idea of me. I was doing well, had a certain amount of social standing, etc., but she always looked at life through a negative lens and anything nice I did turned into an expectation moving forward. She started cutting me out of her kids’ lives, then activities, then created and entirely different friend group. For my part, I felt left out and like a stranger in my own house, so I retreated somewhat. Ad…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/26 12:21 PM
14

Couples therapy is bullshit. One party has already made the decision to walk. All that ends up happening is a) you get coached into saying things out loud that just make things worse, and b) it turns into a piñata beating for the person trying to save the relationship. Save the money, spend it on improving yourself. A therapist for you, a gym membership, a new hobby, whatever.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 02:05 AM
5

All I can tell you, brother, is life is a team sport. It’s meant to be shared. I’m in a similar position. 10 years together, 7.5 married…totally unraveled in 2 weeks. I’m a far margin from perfect, but I didn’t drink, gamble, fool around, or abuse her. Forever home, etc. You have to decide what the future looks like for you. There’s no “right” answer. I’m taking it slow and casual. I want someone’s time and companionship…that’s it. I’ve got everything else in my life covered. I’m being very tran…
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/26 10:50 AM
9

Made the mistake twice. Burned both times. Never again.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/26 01:16 PM
2

Seconded. And so did mine. Some days are rough. That will pass. Look to the future, focus on building yourself into the man you want to be, and don’t ever trust 50% of your wealth and property to a woman again, lol.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 11:34 AM
9

Join the club, brother. We have t-shirts. 45, high performer, engaged and loving partner. My only poor life decisions are the women I’ve chosen to share my life with.😂
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 07:51 PM
2

My suggestion? Wake up a little earlier, do a quick workout. Your brain will start thinking about the workout, getting ready for the workout, etc. Feed yourself some preworkout or coffee prior/during the workout. Caffeine helps improve your workout, and I find it helps me focus on now and stay out of my head. Then you’re worried about getting ready for and getting to work. It doesn’t take much…couple of kettlebells or dumbbells, go for a walk, etc. Better for your brain and better for your healt…
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 12:19 PM
4

An active one. You’ll be outside more, exercise more, and have less time alone critiquing your life, decisions, and regrets.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 10:32 AM
1

Yeah. Just fired one that was pushing me into a mediation without addressing a number of my concerns. Remember, they’re your employee and advisor. If you’re not happy, make a switch.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 04:43 PM
3

I have been unhappy with mine. There are some financial irregularities that they just seem unwilling to investigate and continue to push me towards mediation. How can I mediate in good faith with someone I believe has hidden assets? Additionally, we’ve been reactive to my STBXW and her attorney the entire time, dealing with constant threats and motions. So, I’m meeting with a different attorney tomorrow who seems much more aggressive. If I hear even close to what I’m hoping for…making the switch…
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/26 02:58 AM
7

Sure. Then I got cheated on and left again. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice… My recommendation is to focus on yourself, kids, family, friends, and hobbies…and only allow another woman into your life as an enhancement, especially if you’re over 40 or have gone through multiple divorces. The trust is hard to build, you have more to lose, and the system and society incentivizes women to show no loyalty. This all assumes you’re a decent dude and not the cause of your relationship woes.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 03:20 PM
11

Brother, divorce brings out the worst in everyone involved. Even “amicable” divorces have rancor and distrust. The romance is over, you have to treat it like business and do what’s best for you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 11:27 PM
2

You’re in good company. Even with Advil PM and a night cap, I could only get 2-4 hours a night for the first 3 months of separation/cohabitation. Slowly it got up to the 5-6 hours I’m getting now, without sleep aids and only the occasional drink. I also found having some noise on quietly (a movie you’ve seen so many times you don’t have to think about it, white noise, nature sounds, etc.). Admittedly, once I hit 6 hours, no matter what, I’m awake. My brain races, constantly thinking through all …
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 01:36 PM
9

Same story, man. It’s all too common. My marriage ended with no notice, only to realize that she’d been planning for months. Used hidden money to put a contract on a new home, has been hiding other money from her parents, and has been involved with another guy since July…when he filed to end his 24-year marriage (public records can be a gold mine). As much as you can, maintain the moral high ground. The fact that she moved on so quickly says far more about her than you. No parties in a divorce a…
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 12:18 PM
3

4 months and going. Stuck living in the basement without sunlight, eating cold and shelf-stable food, and only being able to use the kitchen and laundry when she’s out of the house…otherwise she and her kids are standing there staring at me. Get out of the house for a while. Take a walk, catch a movie…do something to feel “normal” for a bit.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 08:55 PM
4

Feel you, man. Currently living in the basement, unemployed, separated from my kid, and watching 3 people (STBXW, 2 step kids) I sacrificed so much for, who now act like they despise me, celebrate the holidays. I too will put on a brave and festive face, even though I’m hollow and constantly feel like I’m about to puke. All you can do is the best you can for you kids.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 07:15 PM
6

I’m rational enough to understand and appreciate the facts, but just irrational/emotional enough to have a hard time accepting it. I know things will get better and life will go on after the crazy train, but that realization that some of your luggage is still aboard as it pulls away for the last time…sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 03:08 PM
1

I’m there, man. Anxiety, depression, etc. Lucky to sleep 4-5 hours a night, and that’s only with OTC sleep meds and a nightcap. If anything disrupts my initial falling asleep…I’m awake with tightness in my chest. Best I can offer, do what you have to in order to get sleep, find time to work out (it helps with the anxiety and making you tired enough to crash, even if your brain doesn’t want to turn off), get some fresh air before bed, and find things that relax you about an hour before you sleep …
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 01:24 PM
1

I know everything about him now. They worked together years ago and she had a crush then, apparently. He was all over her social media all the way back to May. He ended a 24 year marriage in July, the next weekend she’s showing his photo to friends asking is he’s cute. His divorce finalized in September…the next week she filed ending our 10 year relationship. Google and eliciting info from certain shared acquaintances has ensured I’ve got open source public records, an address, phone numbers, pl…
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 05:08 AM
1

In the US. Having a meeting on strategy with current attorney this week. If I’m not impressed, I’ll be pursuing a new one.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 11:39 AM
24

Bro, don’t do it. I dated for around 2 years using online dating services, found the next “one”, and got married after another 2 years. After 7.5 years of marriage and another pending divorce, I now know I married the most closeted narcissist and maliciously insecure woman I’ve ever encountered. Save your money. I believe monogamy can work. I believe in being a committed partner. Don’t walk the aisle again, brother. The odds are against you. The courts and the process are against you. Stop split…
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 09:42 PM
4

Preach, brother. I’m down to 168 from 216, less than I weighed while on active duty with the military, lol. Living in the basement, with little access to the kitchen…I eat mostly keto, shelf-stable stuff and cold food I’ve managed to cook and keep in the beer fridge. Find a situation that inspires eating. Football watch parties, dinner events, etc. I find that makes for less thinking about it. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 03:11 PM
1

Thanks, man. I agree with you, but only if I have an attorney that puts the pressure on her for once. Once she knows we’re willing to put her entire family under oath (deposition or court), to include her kids who she foolishly shared too much with, to prove the extent of her misconduct, I think she’ll change her approach. But, not until then. She’s still convinced she’s smarter than everyone.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 05:36 PM
5

Same boat, brother. Happily married but in a bit of a slump to getting a divorce in 2 weeks. No attempt at reconciliation or anything. Went into shock/depression…then found out she is hiding money, property, and another dude. I understand the anger. Let it fuel your focus in ensuring you get what you deserve out of the divorce. Great job on the weight loss! Did the same thing. Focus on self-improvement as much as possible. Reforge family ties and friendships. You’ll get through this. Don’t let i…
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 01:11 PM
5

Right there with you, man. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, get yourself through this, and focus on your health and preparation for the next chapter. It’s easier said than done, but at least you have some control over those things.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 10:46 PM
2

Appreciate it. Here there are very specific criteria for what qualifies…and I don’t meet them. What I really need is a job so I have some independence again. I’m less concerned about getting even more of her money than I already will, and more concerned with getting away from her for my own mental health and ability to start over.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 11:53 AM
2

Sadly, no alimony in my state. But they do have a “50/50 equitable distribution” statute. She’s already pissed that I’m demanding that, and that I haven’t had the decency to just roll over, give her whatever she wants, and die, lol.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 04:18 AM
3

As it is written, so shall it be.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 04:14 AM
2

No, man, there won’t be a round 3. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 11:36 PM
2

No kids, and not talking won’t be hard. She’s basically ensured we have no mutual friends, interests, or connections.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/25 04:30 PM
4

Yikes. Sorry, man!
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/25 04:24 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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