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Interesting_Stress28 Archive

View 11 posts and 118 comments by Interesting_Stress28 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

That makes some sense
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 04:55 AM
2

Yeah she definitely had friends trying to get her to move on quick. Social aspects do play a big role
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 10:07 PM
0

You mean by always needed a man to support and take care of them?
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 08:01 PM
2

That’s true I’m pretty career driven myself so maybe I will find someone that way. It’s a long up and down process. Starting over sucks but I couldn’t imagine monkey branching to the next relationship like she did
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 04:05 PM
1

I’m late 20’s with kids. So still pretty young even though this process is making me feel older. Kids make it a little more difficult. Seems like a hard age because everyone is getting married or settling down already. But in your 40’s I bet your bound to find plenty of women in the same boat as you
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 01:25 PM
1

Yeah you can weed through the BS some but part of it is the dating game has changed so much I feel. I’m not banking on it but it’s a start. It’s been so long I feel like I don’t know how or where to pick up women
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 12:58 PM
1

I haven’t really been with much since her. Took some time to figure things out and get myself on the right track. Then kind of started dating apps talked to a few women but that’s really as far as things have gone
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 12:50 PM
3

Well the opposite happened once the guy was in the picture she became more hostile and the co parenting went to shit. I knew something was up and saw thing coming for a long time. But I do agree on the freedom and not being made to feel guilty
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 12:38 PM
1

Yeah but don’t really know how. Just going to try and have a better life than her
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 12:36 PM
6

That’s great hear man. Had to be nice to sit back and watch that happen. Playing the long game like that myself it’s just hard to be patient it sometimes
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 03:16 AM
4

Exact same here. Hopefully you worked on yourself and got to watch them crash and burn
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 03:15 AM
8

Most likely not wrong. Still sucks to realize and hear
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 12:30 AM
3

Amen on that. They try to put all the blame on you. I was always the bad guy that could do no right no matter what I did and it was like walking on egg shells. That part of things is so much better now. She would try to get a reaction out of me and it used to work well but she doesn’t get it anymore I can tell it frustrates him
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 11:00 PM
2

I can’t believe the audacity to bring someone back to the house you live at while you are there
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 08:35 PM
4

I know the long game can be so hard! Patience is key but one day I know something is gonna blow up in her face and karma will come around. Good the day is sooner than later
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 07:46 PM
3

I can agree to part of that but my kids involved so it does concern me to an extent
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 07:45 PM
3

Exactly. Especially when it’s quick like that or they cheat in order to get together. I wanna say something civil about not bringing him around so soon but it’ll just go against me somehow
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 07:05 PM
5

Thanks I appreciate it. Thats the number one priority in all of this
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 06:49 PM
7

Oh wow. Thats gonna work out real well in the wrong run! I don’t think they think about this at all
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 06:28 PM
4

Well exactly. My biggest point isn’t really her it’s the kids and how they are impacted and how soon he’s been around them. I don’t think it’s appropriate until way later down the line when things are serious
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 06:17 PM
7

Yeah exactly not wrong there. Once she had the financial means she found her reason and was out. But I saw that coming as a possibility for months. It’s better she’s gone out of my life but don’t like kids being around some new guy so early. It’s inappropriate
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 06:15 PM
5

Probably true. There is a reason he’s been single for years lol I’m not gonna hype myself up but she definitely downgraded. But also don’t want to think about her getting sex because I haven’t had any luck myself (didn’t really try early took time to myself)
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 06:14 PM
5

Yeah I definitely know she was emotionally checked out for a long time and didn’t try to make it work which is whatever at this point. The part that bothers me the most is bringing him around the kids so early
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 06:12 PM
2

Good point on that. I sure hope so she needs some sense of reality to hit in.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 06:10 PM
5

That’s a good point. And this is exactly why I haven’t said anything everything is a weapon and used to make you be the bad guy. I know I wouldn’t do the same it’s crazy to think she would bring someone around like that
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 06:07 PM
2

It doesn’t hurt to have a record or some proof you aren’t causing problems. Public place, police station (if it’s that bad). Protect yourself
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 04:03 PM
4

Bingo. She said that to hurt you and she knew where to do it. Clearly she was right to know it would get to you so you gotta figure out a way to not let it
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 04:34 AM
1

lol if there is a raid they aren’t after the guy going in there for the massage they are after the owners shutting it down
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 04:33 AM
8

C’mon man that’s pretty harsh on a guy venting especially when we are all here for similar reasons. Do better
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 04:30 AM
3

This. Find a way to where she can’t say it’s an inconvenience
/r/Divorce_Men29/02/24 06:08 AM
2

Yeah man a great way to look at it. And you learn a lot from the experience even if it was a negative outcome from that in your 20’s. There’s definitely some positives to be had
/r/Divorce_Men29/02/24 05:45 AM
2

Good for you. Some good points in there. # 5 hits hard for me. #7 too I’m about the same age and trying to have that mindset but feel like I wasted so many of my good years
/r/Divorce_Men29/02/24 05:29 AM
4

Sometimes patience is key, glad good things are coming your way success stories are nice on here
/r/Divorce_Men29/02/24 05:26 AM
1

Yeah he learned that the hard way in the past even within my own house having a conversation with her and found out I was secretly recorded. Really makes you think but has made me extra careful now. She’s tried to bate a few times
/r/Divorce_Men29/02/24 05:21 AM
1

Good for you. Create your own life. Hoping to do the same
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 03:02 PM
1

Say they do, what’s good way to use that?
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 03:00 PM
3

No. But sadly I would have wanted to but I’m getting over that. She half mentioned it just for purposes of having another child as she was trying to get another one before hitting the door
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 03:00 PM
0

Be careful
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 02:58 PM
3

Lmao. Lazy missionary for days
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 02:58 PM
8

Yeah been there. Years of being used since she couldn’t afford anything else
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 02:56 PM
4

Find a new better lawyer
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 02:54 PM
10

A great revenge will be working on yourself and creating a better life. Make yourself happy and stop worrying about her. Things will start to fall into place over time. Like others said therapy it’ll help see things in a new light
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 02:51 PM
1

I have joint legal custody so by the courts eyes I do have say it things like education and health. So that has to help to I’m sure
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 07:33 PM
2

More she’s just mentally unstable and makes all her decisions based on emotion. She wants someone to blame for everything that is wrong in her life and is so used to blaming me for years it’s what she’s gonna do now. Sounds like there’s a mutual agreement that since we basically just agreed it won’t go over well with the courts which I really hope is true and the case. I could see revisiting in the future but not now
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 07:27 PM
1

I plan to. If I roll over it will screw me for a long time and mess up everything I already fought for and all the work I’ve done to make it work
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 07:24 PM
1

There is just nothing in the agreement about X miles moving away. There’s part of the agreement that states anyone has to give a 90 day notice before moving. But I get what you’re saying that this move even with notice would violate the contract due to it effecting our agreed upon parenting time. So hopefully the courts see it that way
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 07:23 PM
1

Same here. Should be something that is mutually agreed upon and planned for. But in my case the ex in-laws with pay and support anything she wants to do even with how irrational it is. Shouldn’t have expected different when they are both divorced and had terrible relationships at their kids expense
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 07:20 PM
1

Yeah exactly. Which is glad it’s already been signed and approved so it makes any quick moves look even worse. Which she would have done and has done similar before. Definitely gonna plead my case and make a stand so I don’t lose time and doesn’t make a relationship harder
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 07:18 PM
2

Yeah i did. Doesn’t seem like much I can do but once she files the notice I can fight it. Just doesn’t seem like I’ve got a great shot
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 07:16 PM
4

I wish man. I’m gonna have to push and fight for something because I can’t be pushed to an every other weekend parent
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 12:42 PM
3

Yeah it’s just for family sake and convince for her. Definitely not for a job she can work from anywhere. As far as legal custody goes it’s in there that it’s joint so I would have a say in school and such
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 05:23 AM
2

I wish you the best I have the same case where parents will just pay everything. Such a crazy world and uphill battle men face
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 05:00 AM
3

They are young around 4. She could say it’s to be closer to family. Currently I get a few overnights a week at least and we have been in a verbal agreement that I have been doing extra when I can but that’s the case because we are close now. For example on a day I normally would not have custody picking him up from school and spending the day with them. The argument against is it’s going to hurt our relationship. Our agreement was mutually signed only a few months ago really without any fighting…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 04:57 AM
4

There are lots of lows in this road I am finding out myself. But let this be your lowest. Today is a new day. Turn something around in a positive for you. Find some help. Get things in order to see your kids. Start small and work your way back up man
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 04:36 AM
13

Has to feel good. I’m really hoping that’s the case I’m getting put in a bad spot after I thought things were working out and we were getting along for the kids sake so really hoping the karma is true because I want nothing but to be a good parent
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 04:15 AM
1

You asked the question then answered it yourself. Don’t be dependent and do stuff for yourself and things can start to fall into place
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 12:37 AM
2

Those meals aren’t free in the long run the will be paying lol
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 12:35 AM
2

I’m in about the same time frame as you. Like others said work on you, keep yourself busy and find things to do. I made some changes and starting getting up earlier and going to the gym to start my day and found it has given me a boost the rest of the day I’m feeling and productivity. But for the the feelings and the memories I’m right there with you. Even though the relationship wasn’t good for a long time and the horrible things she said and did it is still hard not to miss her. I guess there …
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 12:30 AM
1

Thanks gonna look into some of these. Might help boost the confidence
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 03:43 AM
2

Thanks for the response and thanks for your service! A lot of good points there. Any books that you read you would recommend? I should clarify I’m not looking for any serious relationship just some like dates going for drinks casual sex would help a lot. Today’s women that is even hard to do I find and I’m a successful person that wants his large acreage of land in the coming years to definitely am not planning on being anyone’s meal ticket
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 02:18 AM
3

Yeah I feel that being in front of a screen a lot is hard. I have to put a lot of work in already but feel my drive there is been a little off trying not to do subpar work. I have a few activities but maybe the thing is I need something that is new
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 02:14 AM
3

Been playing more Xbox with buddies. Walk my dogs. Might try to hit up the gun range more. When it’s not winter would like to try to golf more. Some good ideas in these comments
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 12:27 AM
6

I’m in this process as well. I think time and patience is something I’m trying to keep in mind for myself. Rather not rush in put myself in the same situation again. Although I agree dating apps are harder for males no matter what
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 04:08 PM
5

Time for new friends brother
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 05:18 AM
2

Find the right one for you and it can do wonders. It’s provided lots of insight and has left me with lots of tools and things to think about
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 05:14 AM
1

I agree. Problem is right now I probably couldn’t fit in more guaranteed overnights unfortunately
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 07:38 PM
1

I agree it’s difficult to forecast lots of things can change. In all it’s what’s best in the child’s interest. And I’m going in a year or more likely two that it would be the best interest to get more time. Just don’t want to be screwed since I voluntarily agreed now
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 06:19 PM
1

Good to know in a year or two things can change. Unfortunately it’s how it has to be now but I’ll be in a really good spot for more time in the future. Just don’t want it to be hard to fight since we are voluntarily agreeing now
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 06:18 PM
4

Yeah exactly. Nothing like losing a ton of shit. I basically have an empty kitchen now lol
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/24 01:36 AM
4

Right there with you guys
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 11:27 PM
1

Yup going through that process now where she says one thing about how we are gonna handle things then goes and turns it and does another
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 11:26 PM
3

What were the questions and counter points you used?
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 11:25 PM
7

Been there man. Didn’t get oral for years but she expected it. Really, she showed no interest sexually in me for like 16 months not doing anything during that time. Then when we started again it was only for her goal to try and have another kid. And thank god she never got pregnant. Hopefully I can find someone who actually wants me
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 11:25 PM
2

Dude right there with you all that happening plus getting sick. Seems like it was going around
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 10:59 PM
5

Oh thank you for this response. Thats a great idea to have it just put into the initial agreement
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 07:56 PM
4

I agree 100%. Total bs and they can make their own decisions one day. It angers me to think about but I gotta know my ways and realistic chances to fight it.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 03:58 PM
4

Yeah I’be already met with one lawyer and have another next week so that’s gonna be part of whoever I choose to go with that if it comes to that I need to fight it. Because I would never consent to that it’s total BS
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 03:56 PM
1

Man that’s a tough situation. Definitely get a good lawyer asap. Call multiple if you have to. Protect yourself by means necessary and be very careful. I’m in a similar situation that could arise but due to false claims just to make things difficult. I’d be curious on how she accused you of that and you got charged.(just to learn from). But obviously don’t go into it if you don’t want to
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 02:11 PM
4

Yeah exactly. Always the one in the wrong no matter what. She can’t paint things to fit her narrative and twist things so much. If I don’t agree with her 100% she says I’m arguing. Things for the past never get let go either.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 01:29 PM
4

Thank you for this response. It means a lot to me, very kind. I really do think things will be better in the long run and positive things but I think there’s gonna be a lot of bad things and negatives first and weathering that storm is tough.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 01:27 PM
1

I agree but it’s hard to not try and hang in there for kids. Kind of the situation I’ve been in no matter what I do it’s never good enough and I’m never looked at as an equal parent
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 05:59 PM
1

Amen. Gotta draw a line and have self respect or they will just take and take and expect more and more
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 05:55 PM
1

Yeah it’s a shame how much they drag on. Didn’t know they only looked at last w2 good info
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 05:54 PM
2

Oh for sure man. There’s a lot of positives that happen but will never be recognized or get over looked. That’s how I feel after doing some reading on here about how they don’t realize everything you do and only focus on negative things they find or that have happened. Lack of communication and not telling me the direct problem has often been as issue in my experience too. But sounds like you’re doing all the right things
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 08:01 PM
1

Dang man sounds like there were some deep issues. Glad you’re out then
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 07:10 PM
2

That’s really tough man. Puts a lot on you especially when you didn’t know those things in the first place or that they even were a problem. I hope you have got a chance to work on yourself some and feel better. Have you tried anything like therapy? I find myself in a similar situation where I was never told things and was naive about things, including emotional during similar times. I feel like I was emotionally unavailable at some difficult times and was never forgiven for it but I can’t go ba…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 07:09 PM
2

Kids in the situation is a lot tougher no matter what .you really never fully cut ties with the person completely. But good on you for thinking about the kids and putting them first
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 07:03 PM
3

Might have to check that book out
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 03:32 PM
1

Jesus. That’s such crap. Sounds like you make good money it’s just a shame she gets so much
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 03:31 PM
8

I feel like it’s hard to break the cycle. Especially in the moment in that situation but then you look back and realize.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 04:38 AM
2

That happens man I don’t even think I realize it myself. You’re just living and then you look back once you realize and go oh wow those really were dark times
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/23 01:47 AM
1

How’s it been since? Meaning like with kids in the picture
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/23 01:46 AM
3

That’s seems pretty smart honestly versus jumping to things so you can have no regrets and move on in life
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/23 02:34 PM
3

That’s some honorable stuff man that most people wouldn’t even recognize. Kinda in the same boat now. Looking back are you happy you did that for them?
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/23 02:32 PM
1

Dang man that’s a long time. Did you you know the whole time and just stuck it out or just wished you would have?
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 02:23 PM
2

Exactly. Doesn’t make your situation easier but I feel like once the bandaid is ripped off in that situation it’s a little easier. Like ties can be cut. It kinda feels like I’m playing the long game in my case but she’s done the same so I have to do what’s best for me and the kids. And like you said I can kind of click the brain off for her now that I know
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 02:22 PM
2

Was it worth it or wish you got out sooner?
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 04:02 AM
3

That’s a long time man. But glad you got your peace!
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 04:01 AM
2

Thats kind of where I feel I am right now or I should say where I have been for a while. But it’s like how much longer to endure it
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 04:01 AM
2

That seems like really good advice for all the guys out there put simply. Only thing I’d say to complicate it is kids and if you’re not gonna get to see them as much
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 04:00 AM
2

Hell yeah that’s the ideal way to handle it especially with that going on
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 03:56 AM
3

That’s pretty low of her to be sending that kind of stuff but really speaks to her mindset if she’s spending time doing that she really isn’t happy
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/23 11:38 PM
1

Oh I agree. It’s some people just slightly but the select few it’s real bad. It’s crazy because I knew things were bad before but they have legit been so much better it’s crazy faking and two faced behavior still has me in shook. Glad to hear she didn’t use it on you I hope for the same luck
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 04:16 AM
1

Thank you. These are some important points. I’m already doing some of these not letting performance slip is the hard part. But gotta play the long game on the exit plan and be smart I guess
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 12:59 PM
2

I would have never thought of anything like that. Thanks for a different perspective
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 12:31 AM
1

Yeah true I think a majority are via text but I’ll keep it in the back of my mind. I just feel used and my trust being violated
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 12:06 AM
1

What is a VAR just a recording device? But tbh I don’t think I’d even need to do anything like that to get that reaction just my everyday responsibilities are already enough to do that lol or good forbid having a social life once and a while. I guess if it really came to going to that level maybe I’d have to consider it
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 12:03 AM
2

Good for you. As you should have with the kids in the car
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 10:49 PM
1

Looks like most do. Guess I gotta do what I gotta do to get started. How were fees like after?
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 09:57 PM
3

Good point Anything I do I’m the asshole. Even if we communicate about it and make it clear what the plan is and expectations are. It’s hard when a lot of the times I don’t think things are a big deal and things are fine then I find out later they weren’t
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 09:56 PM
1

Oh makes sense. I’m in a new area so really don’t know anyone unfortunately
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 09:09 PM
1

I could ask but that shows my cards I’m trying to get things set up first for me. One was a fight makes me look bad another was just sayin something stupid that is considered offensive and get me in hot water with cooperate. With how the world Is now
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 09:08 PM
2

This is really good advice. I like the betrayal term. It wouldn’t really hurt me if it was only around the times of fights like venting because that’s normal. But every little thing when I throughly was good just to make me a bag guy or make fun of me . Really makes me sad. I wish I could completely cut it off but got to think of the kids. I guess that’s really the reason it’s gone on this long. Even though no matter what I do I’m a terrible parent apparently
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 09:06 PM
2

Thanks, I appreciate it. Yeah good point on keeping a cool head I have learned a lot over the years on handing things better. Didn’t even know I was being baited thought was a conversation. Just doesn’t make sense to me to keep it for any other reasons. Wish we would settle and just have it all deleted before hand
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 08:08 PM
1

How does one do that? Sorry if dumb question
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 07:22 PM
2

Thanks for the response! Will do some research heading into initial consultation so I know the basics
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 05:15 PM
1

This right here. In that toxic situation where everything I do is wrong and I’m never home or never help enough. There becomes a point no matter what they do their opinion doesn’t change
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 04:16 PM
3

Thank you so much for response! Are these normally like phone consultations? Just want to know what I should expect need to know or have with me
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 01:54 PM
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