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Jigglytep Archive

View 5 posts and 147 comments by Jigglytep on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

You are a spoiled little brat with a self destruction fetish. You risk your marriage by taking a job away from your wife. You risk your relationship with your kid by having an affair. You risk your career by having an affair with a coworker. Grow up. Figure out what you want.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/25 02:23 AM
1

Move back. Demand 50/50 Agree to take all credit card debt. ( use this as leverage she will never pay you… if necessary file bankruptcy you will recover in a year)
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/25 05:15 AM
6

You are unhappy being married. Why do you think you will be happy a divorced single dad? The common denominator is you. Go see a therapist figure out why you’re unhappy before setting fire to your life. I divorced because I couldn’t tolerate a serial cheater anymore and five years later I can’t shake the resentment that I got punished by loosing half my time with my daughter because she cheated on me. You want to blow up, your wife’s, your sons and your life because you don’t feel a certain way?…
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/25 03:16 AM
7

I can only see two reasons she would want to fix things. She got dumped or OP won divorce. Hey OP did the kids pick you and the STBXW paying you child support ?
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 01:51 AM
6

I didn’t read anything in this post where op said that his stxw is the cheating type but I 100% agree she got dumped by the other guy and is now trying to fix things.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 01:46 AM
13

Oof I don’t know. I have a gut feeling she was seeing some dude got dumped and is now looking to reconcile. I would not entertain counseling without knowing the truth for the whole fiasco.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 01:44 AM
10

It’s amazing what you can get used to. After divorce I technically make less as a household but I am infinitely financially stable. I feel uneasy not having to worry about money. Go see a therapist they will do wonders for you. Like help you figure out why you picked a person like that to be a spouse.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 02:11 AM
5

This is the right answer a QDRO allows you to split up the 401k without having a tax penalty. Also you can negotiate however you want. You could offer her 70k but keep the house, for example. If the mortgage can be assumed you can modify it and get you ex name off the mortgage without refinancing and keeping the lower rate.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/25 11:07 PM
1

I guess she they have a type? I’m curious how long after the divorce they waited to transition?
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/25 04:26 PM
0

Yeah I looked into the red pill stuff… they lost me when I saw what their ideal alternative is. I believe we can have better paternal rights without forced trad wife lifestyle.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 01:37 AM
13

Whoah brother. Breath. I’m sorry but I think you need to check if this is something to be angry about? Let’s review the advantages of email here: Everything is recorded and tracked. You can stay on point and avoid emotional pitfalls You have time to collect your thoughts and respond when it’s convenient for you. You don’t have to interact with her. I understand this sucks, but she isn’t your best friend anymore. Did you want her to come to the house and take a memory stroll through the house as …
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 05:43 PM
4

Not enough information, but it sounds like a good position to be in. What are your respective incomes? Own or rent? What is the equity in the house? Do you want to keep the house? Do need child support? Can you afford to move out?
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 10:48 PM
3

You need an attorney. I’m in NY about five years divorced. I distinctly remember that my lawyer described a similar situation and that there were consequences for this type of actions. She can file anyway she wants however if she can’t prove that it’s beneficial to file the way she did she is responsible for the adverse filings.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 07:01 PM
6

Why do you care? Did you start working out and getting into better shape? Working out and therapy are two of the most frequent advice points here. Sorry I know it’s a trap question( if you got into a better shape how is that different, if not why are you salty about her hard work) but I hope you recognize the it’s her life decisions part of it. Don’t be mad they aren’t bad choices.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/25 06:20 PM
3

I think the advice about not leaving is more about protecting the man from looking like they abandoned the kids and the poor woman had to deal with them all by herself. In some cases it’s good advice in some it’s poor advice.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 03:28 PM
3

Exactly. I think your original point is very important! Every situation is different and needs to be assessed for the type of divorce, the type of spouse you are divorcing and many other nuances. Blanket advice is not a good idea.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 03:13 PM
3

Your experience is fascinating. I had followed all of the advice you say not to and it worked in my favor. I did stay in the house and I got a body camera for when we did the exchanges. She did not directly accuse me of abuse. She said she felt abused. I will admit I got lucky many times during the divorce. But it’s really interesting how different it could have been. I think what saved me is we did not have 100k to spend on lawyers. Probably the only time it is good to be poor.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 03:06 PM
8

I had a similar situation and I used that as proof to trust myself in the future. I am not crazy! I’m not controlling! I’m not isolating! She was cheating, I trust my gut reaction a lot more now and it has served me well.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 08:37 PM
11

I dealt with it by making a detailed revenge plan. Had to have the following criteria. Could not harm my daughter in any way. Had to have the result of making the following statement true: “clearly in our marriage I was holding her up and she was holding me down. “ STRONGER: I committed to working out and loosing weight getting healthier. She has put on weight and I lost some gained it back in COVID, but I’m still ahead. SMARTER: I finished my college degree and started a masters program. She st…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 02:54 PM
1

I’m sorry your relationship with your daughter was not as good as you thought it was. You don’t really say much about what made you think that. My initial reaction is that as a parent your child’s behavior is your fault. What have you done, taught, treated, behaved, said etc to your daughter that made her behave the way she did. Again you don’t even share your child’s age or what they did for me to have a different perspective.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 05:18 AM
4

If people have a tendency to go apeshit they will go apeshit regardless of reason. Don’t let emotional terrorism control your decision.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/25 03:18 PM
1

I was in a similar situation. I kept calling the bank and asking if I can get my exes name if the mortgage they kept saying no I need to refinance. A friend of mine said I need to ask for the assumption department. Not all mortgages qualify and there are some hoops to jump through with paperwork. But I was able to take over the mortgage. The did NOT check my credit because I was already on the mortgage and could prove I was the one making the payments for the last six months. This was about thre…
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/25 11:49 AM
1

Let it go. She refused to sign paperwork. She can take you to court and in six months she can explain why she did not sign the paperwork. Maybe by then you will be in a better situation. What is her share? Would she take a payment plan? Is it eligible for an assumption? You might be able to keep the low rate And get her name off the mortgage.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/25 01:52 AM
2

You guys are identical: Her: you ruined the day because you weren’t happy enough You: be a mom and make son happy. Let’s put aside the fact that your son is one and is happy when he finds his toes can go into his mouth. I applaud you for reaching out for help. But I don’t know what is going on in your home. Let me ask this when you went for couples therapy did you go intentionally; did you have specific things you wanted to work on, to resolve, to fix? From your choice of language it seems like …
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 08:15 PM
2

Sorry brother.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/24 02:38 PM
4

Sounds familiar mine used a trick for apologies. She would always say I’m sorry you broke your leg. But never admit fault by saying: I’m sorry I hit you with my car and broke your leg. Anyone can say the first one only one person can say the later.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/24 02:31 AM
3

Username checks out.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 08:05 PM
21

Let me know when you figure it out. Somewhat similar situation. My guess is the following: She was unhappy. Thought you were the problem. You moved out. She was still unhappy. She could go on a long hard journey of self discovery, humble herself ask for help by getting therapy and figure out why she is unhappy. OR Have an affair and blame you. I might be projecting. My ex told me I need to take responsibility for her actions.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 06:51 PM
4

I was in a similar position in 2019. I was in insurance sales, and got a job offer to be a programmer. I was at the very beginning of my divorce. I was able to stall divorce a year and then with experience get a job closer to my kid and got 50/50 now
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 12:52 AM
1

Good luck to both of you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 10:37 PM
3

Came here thinking it was regarding details of property division, spouse support or child time allocation. You are seeking relationship advice. You have years of history together and emotional bonding. Get three therapists one for you, one for him, one for the marriage. I’m seeing some RED flags here. - you are completely flip flopping your values. You no longer take pride in your zip code, you want kids NOW, contemplating divorce, setting ultimatums…. - he quit his job, and you don’t really men…
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 08:27 PM
2

I think the problem is our dishonesty through omission society disguised as politeness. For example if I unintentionally offend someone, the appropriate thing for them to do is to nod politely, change the topic and to cut me off socially. Leaving me in the dark. Which creates a social society where you have to strive for perfection. Let’s take your example where you tried to fight a couple because the girl called you a nerd. (BTW:them running away was not an unexpected response) What if instead …
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 04:32 PM
2

I don’t think she can force you to keep her on your employers health insurance that’s not an option. An ex spouse is not a family member like a wife or a minor child. It’s just not an option. She can ask to increase spousal support by the cost of the health insurance. Is she entitled to that? Is better question for a lawyer since it depends on state and county. She can ask for anything however it’s no guarantee she will get it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 06:14 PM
1

I hope op sees that I am trying to come from a good place.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/24 03:58 PM
13

If this story is typical behavior for you two. You tried to not be like your dad so much you became your mom. A weak helpless person who just sits there and takes the abuse. Get therapy. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/24 01:07 PM
2

Every kid is different. I know a parent who lets their kid lay in bed and zone out to YouTube videos. This would not work on my kid. Try to not to stimulate/excite him. Keep trying, talk to them, explain why it’s important. Try to remember yourself at that age, and how perceptive you were; how would you have like to have been treated? Not how you were treated by adults but how you would have like to be treated, what kind of feelings you had etc… You put your son’s feelings first the other night,…
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 04:50 PM
2

Good luck here is a bonus tip. Get a library card, saves you loads compared to buying books. You can let your son pick out a literal stack of books anything and everything he wants.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 04:38 PM
2

Was he ok before bedtime? I read books to my kid and tell them if you close your eyes while you listen it’s easier to imagine the story. Which is technically true. Read him books and don’t even make him go to bed have him lay down on the couch read him books until he falls asleep.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 05:43 AM
1

What is his routine to go to sleep at mom’s house? Have you asked him what is making him uncomfortable?
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 05:37 AM
5

You are talking about a 6% difference. I don’t know your situation or goals I don’t know what 300k means to you. It’s plausible what you would win in court would be a wash in legal fees. Is 2-6% worth the hassle? Are you being penny wise pound foolish? Only you have these answers. Perhaps use this as a negotiating tactic. “Hey I think this valuation is askew 6% in your favor; I can accept it if I can have the …” Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 02:36 PM
2

Be nice to the ex and maybe you can work something out.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 03:16 PM
1

I’m in New York
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/24 10:49 PM
1

How would I go about looking this up. I am not even sure what to google. When I tried in the past I get results for forums and lawyer websites.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/24 10:31 PM
1

Life insurance does not transfer beneficiaries.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 12:22 AM
1

Sorry brother I have no clue. To me it sounds like financial bull crap. She can’t have her cake and eat it too… You can’t get the equity out of the home and for you to pay half her finance charge on her new mortgage. If mortgage rates in the future hit 3.5 can you stop paying her interest? What if they drop to below 3.5% will she pay you your mortgage’s interest rate. Everything is negotiable… offer/take a different percentage of the retirement plans or home equity to negotiate a better deal. Do…
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 05:17 AM
11

Yes you can put a provision in your divorce agreement that you will pay her XXX,XXX over X years. Will she agree to it? Being nice, sympathetic and charming will help. Maybe offer a higher percentage of the equity. Everyone of your statements need to begin with the phrase : ” it is in the kids best interest “ For example: It is in the kids best interest to have stability by allowing me 5 years to pay you the equity you are entitled to in the house our children will have the same home and school …
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/24 08:31 PM
11

My car insurance gave me ~$600 for removing a driver with an at fault accident. LOL
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 03:58 PM
12

So you might need to file for divorce on Monday. Right now if she moves out of state you will first have to establish jurisdiction. Both of you can legally move the kids out of state and it’s not kidnapping. You will have no recourse with the court until you establish jurisdiction; which state has to process the divorce. You would probably win but it will take time and cost money, travel as well. You can’t simply not ask for child support that money is technically the property of the kids. If a …
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/24 03:36 PM
9

Well if history is any indicator they will divorce in August. If you don’t have kids together why do you know this information? What good can come from talking to her? Move on!
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/24 09:31 PM
3

I’m so sad-happy that made you laugh lol
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 04:51 AM
8

The request for an open marriage. The assurance that it was ok if we don’t open it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 04:01 AM
5

I would also recommend trying the salt water soaking pools. I never liked massages or other spa like stuff but the salt water soaks are incredible.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 10:40 PM
1

Own it! Yes I paid for porn. I felt it was a better alternative to cheating. I am not a CPA nor an accountant I did the best I could. If you have proof undeclared funds please forward that to my attorney. If it doesn’t bother you it’s not a weapon for them. On the other hand 😈 If you can prove that your stxw spent significant money to cheat: hotel, lavish meals, extravagant gifts. Some states may have provisions to reimburse you half those proceeds. Not a lawyer not legal advice.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 07:02 PM
4

Meanwhile the ex is on her knees unsucking guy to make sure she get that pig sausage lol Sorry had to add my stupid joke
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 03:06 PM
8

How dare you be rational and objective?!?
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 08:05 PM
1

How is your relationship with your daughters now? Have you discussed this time period of your lives with them? I don’t know what happened and I am sorry you went through this. It’s possible that the mom was manipulating them so much that they felt immense pressure to do anything to get her approval even at the cost of your relationship. It’s awful and terrible but it’s awful and terrible for all three of you and it’s very possible your kids are carrying the guilt of what they did around with the…
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/23 05:50 PM
1

How recently is this? I will say this to keep things realistic there no extremes, or they are extremely rare. There are probably very few true walk away wives who left a perfect man. I got a divorce because my ex wife is a lying cheating gas lighter. She got a divorce because I don’t believe in not being blunt and some other shit.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/23 11:53 PM
1

Pull your credit report and see if there are any mystery or new accounts, loans, credit cards. Don’t discuss this with her, your lawyer will know how to trap her and get you a good deal. Just collect the paperwork to make your lawyers job easier (easier = less time = fewer billable hours)
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 02:48 PM
1

Why would the ex be able to go after your house if you died? This is a major concern for me, I was terrified she would get half if I died while she is still on the mortgage despite the divorce decree.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 08:04 AM
1

How?
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 07:08 AM
3

To add has there been a medication change?
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 07:07 AM
1

I had a similar issue at one point she asked me what is so hard to understand about me being tired and just not wanting sex. I don’t know what the right answer is but the wrong one is: “My dick” She laughed then started crying and I felt like an asshole. But seriously it sounds like the problem is her. It’s not you. She doesn’t want to change and there is nothing you can do about it , you can’t change her. Sorry. Suggest therapy? Ask for an open marriage? Get a flesh light? Good luck, but I feel…
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 07:02 AM
2

Shit man that really is terrible? Can you negotiate with her on giving you time to sell the house, or maybe offer her a bigger chunk of your retirements not taking your cut of her retirement assets? My ex threw our marriage away as well.. I had to swallow my anger and negotiate with my ex to buy time to get her name off of the mortgage. It was worth it to having her drag her feet signing the assumption documents because it took away the last piece of leverage she had on me while I still have a f…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 06:42 AM
3

Sorry for your troubles, but I am fascinated: Have you looked into a HELOC? Would a cashing out her equity in the home be at a better rate? Can you argue down her equity in the house to just the period of the marriage, the way they do pension plans. Ex: You owned the house for 10 years, you were married for 5 years... the equity is $100k she helped pay 50% of the time period so her half of the equity is $25k not 50k. I had a similar issue when my ex and I agreed to split my kid's health insuranc…
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 11:02 PM
2

Same thing happened to me! I kept asking to remove her name off the mortgage, they referred me to a loan originator who instead of refinancing my home told me to ask for an assumption and it worked... that phone rep saved me a crazy amount of money!!! I came here to share the "cheat code"
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 10:53 PM
1

Try! Especially if you have an APR below 5%... I past due on the divorce agreement's deadline for getting my ex's name off of the mortgage and I really did not want the threat of having her be able to force me to sell the home. Even though I would make money from the sale the rent would eat that windfall in a couple of years.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 10:50 PM
2

You are plotting your next divorce already? Glad I could help lol
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 10:48 PM
2

There are a lot of hoops to jump through... but if you have an APR below 5% it's worth looking into.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 10:47 PM
2

I have an FHA loan.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 10:46 PM
1

This was a similar deal I cut with my ex; she kept the retirement account and I got the home.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 10:46 PM
2

Yes exactly, I have an APR from 2017, so this was an amazing win for me.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 10:45 PM
3

I did have a QuitClaim deed, the mortage company worked with me and allowed me to send that in at the same time the ex and I signed the paper work for the assumption and we just sent it in. I did not have any closing cost other then about one thousand dollars in legal fees for the quit claim deed and processing the documents (notarizing, pointing where to sign etc...) I have an FHA loan, no closing cost other then the lawyer fees.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 10:43 PM
3

You need to realign your perspectives. Sex is sex… it can be good or bad. With a person you love or are just FWB. A bad marriage will eat your happiness in ways you cannot imagine. It will affect your other relationships and your professional career. You can have good sex and a happy marriage. Get some counseling and fix your problems.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 09:01 PM
1

I couldn’t hate someone more then I love my daughter.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 02:24 PM
2

How are you going to help her? Are you a therapist? Counselor? Do you have any mental health training? If you do is it ethical for you to treat her? What prompted her to reach out to you again? You said she was always in control… is she a manipulator? Narcissist? Trying to manipulate you? Did she take responsibility for her actions without being prompted? How will helping her affect you? I bet you feel like shit right now for being mad at not having sec with you who was SA. Will you feel better …
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/23 05:32 PM
2

Bro if your therapist recommended medication take it! Trust the professionals. My concern here is your inability to see the amazing posit you are in!(im not an expert on mental health). Your ex wife left your home and you have your son full time. There are so many dads that would kill for that. I am not minimizing but holly shit imagine being kicked out and not being able to see your son. Get help take all the help you can get. Let us know how we can help. You got this!
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/23 02:30 PM
2

Ok I’ll bite and call bullshit. The statistic polled women on r/divorce. I’m going to go on a limb and say that the majority aren’t qualified to diagnose. Similarly if you polled men here 99.99% of men have divorced bipolar, women who seek to self medicate their depression using adultery. Does That 0.01% mean men a more self aware? I always felt like that 50% of marriages, statistic is bull shit. -50% over what time before or after the no contest reforms. -should we count all marriages without c…
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/23 03:58 PM
2

So to be the contrarian to all the posts here. Has there been a similar situation where you asked her not to introduce her SO to your kids? If there were times in the past you asked her to not involve your kids with certain people and she obliged, it might be worth a second look.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 07:33 PM
1

Are you going for alimony? Sounds like you might be entitled to it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/23 02:01 AM
2

The whole sub is a cesspool of the worst people out there. Men and women both. It’s like staring into the depths of a porta potty at a truck stop on a hot summer day.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 08:53 PM
9

Sounds like you are the one who won the 50/50 split considering that if you put in the 90% of income and she let you leave without alimony payments.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 06:26 PM
1

It does. If you want to speed things along and can handle the pain; help her. Offer to watch the kids on her weekends so she can go out. This will keep her from improving herself,( saving money, improving career etc…). At the same time it will make your custody 55/45 in your favor, you can then ask for child support and exercise additional leverage. Seems to me you were the leveling agent in her life. Let the chaos consume her. Fair warning it will hurt your kids bc they miss mom and you will fe…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/23 07:15 PM
1

Look for a good ratio of stories he likes to tell that do and do not star or are caused by getting divorced/separated. If everything in his life is due to the break up it’s too soon. 2/3 of stories he shares should have nothing to do with divorce. Example: This is a nice restaurant how do you know it? If he used to go there with his ex is a bad sign.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 04:51 AM
3

While yes everyone here is right your problems follow you where you go… however there are some advantages here and underlying issues you have from recovering after a 12 year relationship that I think moving will help. For example:You probably don’t have any jokes stories or experiences to share with people that don’t involve your ex or start with “after my divorce“ moving to a new city will get you some stories that start with “when I first moved here” Use this as an opportunity to jumpstart you…
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 06:21 PM
1

Ok so you did not give your kids the perfect answer, probably not the first time and not your last time either. Learn and use it to be a better dad. Like everyone else she is grasping at straws.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/23 04:05 PM
3

Just put it in a trust! Then it’s not touchable by lawsuits or creditors. Might be hard to do if you have a mortgage. Speak to a mortgage broker and an estate lawyer. Edit: assuming you are in the USA
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 03:19 AM
1

It’s amazing I’m really happy for you I had to accept a gross mess of 3-3-5 with split two split weekends every other week. The calendar looks like a stock chart. But if you look at it for five minutes it’s pretty obvious that the reason was she wanted her Saturdays off. The only benefit is that I have more days with my daughter. The real tragedy and the worst part of this situation is for your kid to have a mom like this.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/22 07:51 PM
5

I love my Atturney! Somethings that made me choose him. He talked frankly and directly. During in our consultation he educated me about how divorce worked and the law was applied. He told me that while the law was written to be equivalent to men and women a judge was not going to give a man primary custody if the mom isn’t on drugs or a criminal even though I was a primary care giver. At least very difficult. I also picked him because he was a former prosecutor and went to a law school in NYC th…
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/22 03:22 AM
1

Why can’t you wait two years or the six months to find out what happens to your job?
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 10:53 PM
4

I will say this there is a shift in culture. I find the new norm is taking turns paying for drinks/dinner. Typically I pay for the first date and she pays the following then we alternate.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/22 03:21 PM
8

It's possible, I have seen many man here say their ex-wife changed their mind and wanted to fix the relationship. The pattern usually goes as following: Take care of your self: Get a therapist deal with the issues you listed above find out why are unable to emotionally connect. eat better workout sleep better(on a routine) Rediscover what you love and accept it. Rediscover your passions and hobbies Reach out to friends and family if you don't have friends make some at places you do your hobbies.…
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/22 06:13 PM
8

This!!! And Holly fuck balls.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/22 09:45 PM
1

Are you self employed or have a business? How old is the business compared to the marriage, does the business qualify as a marital asset? 55% seems harsh however if it's alimony, child support, plus buying her out of the business, maybe it's fair... How long does the 55% last does it decrease over time gradually?
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/21 06:25 AM
2

My favorite line about divorce came from him: > No happy marriage ever ends in divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/21 04:21 AM
1

Talk to an attorney, this varies by country, state, and county. In NY my lawyer told me if the inheritance was not coming wed with the communal property it was mine. This is sometime ago and may not apply to you.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/21 05:58 PM
3

Make sure you don't move out and start wearing a body camera. Might help in a situation of false abuse allegations.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/21 04:40 PM
3

Dude you are so raw ! I'm so sorry this is happening to you please slow down you. I know where you are coming from you love your family and your wife just asked you for the unimaginable and you are trying to accommodate hopefully it will workout. HOWEVER you are about to put your self in a legal equivalent of dropping the soap on the first day of prison and hoping it all works out. Here is what your ex can legally do when you move out: I bet you can't find a rental in the same school district as…
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/21 02:15 PM
1

Dude you are so raw ! I'm so sorry this is happening to you please slow down you. I know where you are coming from you love your family and your wife just asked you for the unimaginable and you are trying to accommodate hopefully it will workout. HOWEVER you are about to put your self in a legal equivalent of dropping the soap on the first day of prison and hoping it all works out. Here is what your ex can legally do when you move out: I bet you can't find a rental in the same school district as…
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/21 02:14 PM
1

OK, I am telling you from personal experience. A therapist helped me figure out why I put myself into a situation I knew was bad for me. I strongly suggest you do the same. A therapist is like an extra set of eyes to the world they will help you figure out what made you think such a toxic individual was important to have in your life. It's not as simple as I loved her a lot; you sought this person out and kept going back for more. Get a little counseling to figure it out. I promise it's worth it…
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/21 07:18 PM
1

Yes, but also during the three years you probably contributed to the mortgage so there is some equity that you are probably entitled to. Ask a lawyer. ALSO I assume you are being honest: Seek out a counselor, to figure out what made you think that it's a good idea to try to fix a relationship with someone who accused you of rape.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/21 03:15 PM
1

Hmm... I think she was probably traumatized by her bisexuality
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/21 03:03 AM
2

Shot in the dark did your wife agree to the threesome as a way to save the marriage after you were caught straying?
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/21 08:21 PM
3

If you think it's a trap: Speak to your attorney, ask them about the following: Some police departments will store the guns for you. Call your local police precinct and ask if they will store the guns for you. They will give you a receipt for the guns keep them there until the end of the divorce. This would not stop a TRO since she could easily argue that you have more guns or could get another one, but it could play towards your character of being a compassionate and reasonable individual. Good…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/21 05:20 PM
4

Maybe seek some counseling for your self as well. Good Luck Brother.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/21 02:13 AM
3

Either try to fix it, try counseling or call it quits. Don't do the passive aggressive thing.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/21 12:27 AM
4

Yeah I guarantee your wife feels the same way. She is somewhere complaining about how she hated the person she has become who can only get shit done through nagging.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/21 11:07 PM
1

Also ask your attorney to take the rental income into consideration when assessing decision of income.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/21 09:07 PM
5

This! Also do not move out and allow her to become the primary care giver. Since you have the more flexible schedule I assume you are the primary care giver currently. You are also entitled to child support as your wife makes that much more. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/21 04:09 AM
1

Well I think you can have your cake and eat it to. Get a postnuptial agreement. One that states 50/50 custody split. That way you can go and try to reconcile. When you catch her cheating next time you have an insurance policy. On a personal not go see therapist on your own, not the one you use for couples counseling, and figure out why you are staying with a person who cheats on you. Why she cheated is her problem that has nothing to do with you, why you stayed is a you problem you need to fix.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/21 06:11 PM
5

Be careful about degrees of differences when comparing partners. Especially so recently to break ups. (it's like comparing living under Hitler vs Stalin) Also mental health is contagious and your "immune system" is severely compromised. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/21 05:26 PM
5

Great book, it made me realize when I was married I was being a nice guy by bending over backwards for my ex thinking I could get her to stop cheating.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/21 01:52 PM
3

TLDR: if you have kids the best revenge is being, richer, smarter, stronger. I was right there with you two years ago. My ex betrayed me and I had to swallow all the pride to get through it without it affecting our child. I was determined to get the only revenge that would not hurt my daughter. I increased my income by a lot. I started working out and lost weight. I registered for classes and learned new skills. She has also helped me in my revenge quite a bit. She lost her high paying job and c…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/21 12:48 AM
8

Best revenge is living well. I wanted revenge on my cheating ex, I wanted to humiliate and expose her; but it would ultimately affect our child somehow. So I decided to be smarter, stronger, richer. I had all three before COVID. Now I’m fat again due to lock down. I will figure it out though.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/20 05:30 AM
8

I feel you. I went from being a full time dad who did the priority of the child rearing to a 50/50 split. Sunday’s are the worst for me because it’s our exchange day and I feel so lonely without my daughter. I think I would be better if it wasn’t for Covid. I used plan shit, now I just look things on Netflix
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/20 05:22 PM
2

Hey just read your whole post. You can try the following. See if your company can pay you under a 1099 or a corporation. You can write of a ton ! Leave mine in the company’s name and as per your irs filings you can make minimum wage. If it’s an option talk to your lawyer on how to do it correct and legally.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/20 04:02 AM
1

Talk to your lawyer. For a quick dirty amount https://calculators.law/calculators/maintenance/california
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/20 03:54 AM
1

Talk to your ex, it might be your son inviting you and she doesn’t want you there. If I’m wrong what a terrible situation to put you and your son into.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/20 01:22 PM
2

This needs to be higher
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/20 02:09 AM
2

You deserve my upvote. Holly cow congrats on making through that roller coaster of feelings.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/20 03:44 AM
1

when I could not do 50/50, I read to my daughter every night. Go to the library they can make amazing recommendations
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/20 04:31 AM
2

Ok you and your “no-linger-ex” are in love with your own BS and don’t blame your kid here. Your kid is in their room rolling their eye saying’THIS shit again?’ To your “ex” you are still behaving in ways that make you untrustworthy. To you she is still the same untrusting person. NOTHING changed. You went back to be with the person you left, neither one of you grew. Grow, get therapy move on.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/20 05:58 PM
9

Dude, this should be easy! Tell her and probably feels the same way. Assuming that you make about the same and there isn’t a 100k in cc debt just get a divorce and you can both be happy.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/20 04:54 PM
10

Call the police NOW, None of this is normal you need to document all of this to protect your son. Without a police report nobody will believe you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/20 05:12 PM
1

I’m in New York as well. I’m in upstate though. Talk to your lawyer. It can be done if the income is very similar.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/20 03:04 PM
1

How is she going to offer you to waive child support if you quit pursuing 50/50. She makes more then you. You are entitled to alimony and child support. She wants 70/30 to not pay child support. Offer her 50:50 and no child support. Watch her take it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/20 04:47 AM
2

She would still be entitled to half the value of the land And half the assets he used to build the new house. If he got a loan for the construction why not sell the house split the proceeds and go do what you want. Sounds like spiteful bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/20 04:59 AM
2

It sounds like on paper you are still happily married. Nothing filed with a court? You both have equal rights under the law. With out something from the court the cops won’t take the child from one parent to another. Tell her no you will do things 50/50. Use this as an opportunity to put it into effect and not use the kid as a pawn.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/20 01:08 AM
5

I feel for you, and I love the amount of empathy you show your ex. My take away: I think she wanted you to read her diary. Of all the things she could leave behind, an active diary from when she was in high school? Until she is ready to do the work herself and ask for help there is nothing to be done. She will leave her coworker broken hearted and depressed, and I hope he suffers greatly for his involvement. You seem like a decent dude who tried his best, but you are not qualified or equipped to…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/20 05:11 PM
2

I was definitely in some kind of depression but I decided to do things in preparation of feeling better. I ate better, worked out and joined meetups. I made a list of things I wanted to do but didn’t because I was married. I always wanted to try dungeons and dragons. I did it. I always wanted to travel Uber cheap( backpacking and staying at hostels instead of all inclusive resorts) I went to Hong Kong and stayed in a boardinghouse house for $7 a night. (Don’t judge lol) I’m still working on it. …
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/20 01:20 AM
3

Step number one is go home to your house unless it’s unsafe. Go on YouTube search “top mistakes men make in divorce” you committed at least three! Then start planning on how you will defend yourself in the upcoming fight. I would like clarification on the following: I want to make sure I understand the time line. You had plans to go to a social gathering with your friends; you got shit faced, this was part of the event. While there your wife gets ill. She is pissed you will not drive home drunk;…
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/20 03:00 PM
4

Agreed from what I read I see a man who resents his ex-wife after she gave him a couch to stay on during a hard time. A very strange relationship with his daughter. She just went through hell and made a very hard decision to leave an abusive relationship. You have a second chance to fix a mistake from when she left. She left to go be with an abusive partner because of an emotional imbalance. You made a mistake of not being there for her years ago and “throwing yourself into work”. Now she is bac…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/20 10:31 AM
3

Careful how you approach this... speak to your attorney. But perhaps you offer her an NDA to keep specifics out of a memoir you are planning to publish.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/20 08:19 AM
3

Add a clause right of first refusal. If one of you is going out of town you have the option to care for the kids before grand parents or other people.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/20 03:53 AM
4

The problem with a post like that is that it stereotypes divorce and an image of male parents. This post reinforces the, in my case false, mental image of what a supposedly happens when both parents are home. This image is then recalled by judges and mediators creating an uphill battle for a male parent to have to fight for the bare minimum of 50%. In my personal case I would get home at five and my spouse got home at seven pm. I was working full time, cleaned the house and took care of our daug…
/r/MGTOW09/10/19 02:00 PM
13

The problem with a post like that is that it stereotypes divorce and an image of male parents. This post reinforces the, in my case false, mental image of what a supposedly happens when both parents are home. This image is then recalled by judges and mediators creating an uphill battle for a male parent to have to fight for the bare minimum of 50%. In my personal case I would get home at five and my spouse got home at seven pm. I was working full time, cleaned the house and took care of our daug…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/19 02:00 PM
1

Ask your accountant as well... tax issues?
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/19 08:09 PM
1

I’m sorry, is Airbnb not helpful?
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/19 02:17 PM
2

I was confused I thought you said you were facing a serious alimony bill? Did you mean her paying you?
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/19 12:50 AM
9

Get a post nuptial agreement! GET A POST NUPTIAL AGREEMENT!!! Put your self in a WIN-WIN situation! If it’s true love you will never use it, if it’s not it’s a safety net. If she is truly thankful for you in her life and realized her mistake, she will sign without reservations.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/19 04:47 PM
1

If everyone is unique and different a diverse is different exponentially... involves at least two people and a list of unique factors. Not enough information to go on to make a call. After being cheated on and manipulated in counseling I wouldn’t, but I still miss the person I married. I knew her for ten years and I cannot cut her out of my life, I have to see her every weekend for the kid. I would not go back.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/19 01:44 AM
2

Ok is your real question that if he cheated with you he will do it on you? Ultimately, you aren’t seeking divorce advice you want relationship advice. Which will boil down to trust, communication and commitment platitudes. Good luck in your journey.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/19 01:30 AM
1

Are you the reason he left her? Is he cheating?
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/19 12:36 AM
1

Seek a real attorney, but I git the following advice in NY: Child support is not considered an asset of either parents, but of the child. While there is 50/50 one person has physical custody. The person who does not have physical custody must pay child support based on their income. I am not a lawyer. Please seek professional help.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/19 05:24 PM
1

Yeah it sucks, sorry I misunderstood your post. My stbx is doing the two steps forward one step backwards. She finally came up with a reasonable compromise but then out of nowhere needed time to mull things over. My lawyer told me we can't afford to go to court and to just be super nice!
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/19 04:03 AM
1

If you are getting legal advice like an attorney, you should give her that information. Why would you hold that back?
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/19 01:47 AM
5

Talk to a lawyer, I fucked myself royally by doing the "right thing" She needed space I moved out, and kept all the finances together. Many of my decisions made my chances of custody a more uphill battle! Don't believe the media, the law might be more on your side then you think seek an expert! Don't do anything with out talking to a lawyer. You want to win her back make the divorce the best thing to ever happen to you What I find in the real world is that after 30 good men are mostly gone, marr…
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/19 06:30 AM
4

Own it! Be straight with yourself there were signs about this you might have ignored them I thought it was something else. Either that or she is a completely ruthless narcissist sociopath and you are better off.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/19 03:00 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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