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JonMyMon Archive

View 42 posts and 2,309 comments by JonMyMon on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
103

CMVJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 09:15 PM
93

CMVJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 09:14 PM
91

DebateJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 09:21 PM
73

DebateJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 05:37 PM
53

CMVJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/23 11:01 PM
46

JonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/23 06:50 PM
43

DebateJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/25 09:55 PM
39

DebateJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 07:27 PM
32

Question For MenJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 05:53 PM
31

DebateJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 06:59 AM
30

DiscussionJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 04:21 PM
29

Question For WomenJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 09:28 PM
25

Question For WomenJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 06:25 PM
20

DebateJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 06:33 PM
19

Question For MenJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 05:11 PM
18

Question For WomenJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 04:48 PM
13

Question For WomenJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/24 08:58 PM
13

Question For WomenJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 03:32 PM
12

Question For MenJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 03:31 PM
12

DiscussionJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 07:25 PM
10

DebateJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 10:59 PM
9

DiscussionJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 10:48 PM
8

DiscussionJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 08:47 PM
7

DiscussionJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 06:40 PM
7

Question For WomenJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/24 07:00 PM
6

Question For MenJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 03:53 PM
6

DiscussionJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 02:13 AM
5

DebateJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 06:46 PM
5

Question For WomenJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 04:25 PM
5

Question For WomenJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/24 10:04 PM
5

DiscussionJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 05:42 PM
4

Question For WomenJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 09:04 PM
3

DiscussionJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 09:27 PM
3

DiscussionJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:13 PM
2

DebateJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/24 03:51 AM
2

DiscussionJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 03:00 AM
1

DebateJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 11:06 PM
1

Question For MenJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 01:51 AM
1

Question For WomenJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 06:14 PM
0

Question For MenJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 08:11 AM
0

DebateJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 03:42 PM
0

DiscussionJonMyMon/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 05:52 PM
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 2,309 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
–

I've heard fee fees used to refer to both women and men's feelings
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 03:36 PM
1

feelings
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 03:47 PM
34

It seems like a lot of women just straight up don't know what entitled means. They think it means "wanting something really bad".
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 03:30 PM
-1

I think for reasons both sociological and biological. Part of the reason I think there's biological basis is because one can compare the divorce rate for lesbians to the divorce rate for gays and find a serious incongruence.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 08:45 PM
1

You're twisting the conversation. That's not a good comparison because there's another layer to it you're ignoring. Women select for assertiveness significantly more than men because women are attracted to assertiveness significantly more than men. I don't think there's a significant difference when it comes to desire for good health in both sexes, and if there was I'd absolutely classify it as a disadvantage for the sex most affected.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 08:15 PM
2

they mean men who act like women
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 08:05 PM
6

It's also in everyone's benefit to eat healthy, but people don't. Just because something is beneficial to you doesn't mean it's easy to do, and it doesn't mean it's not a burden / disadvantage if it's enforced more harshly for one gender than the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 08:00 PM
-1

no, because the original commenter never said anything to imply that assertive and nice are mutually exclusive, so it was odd to comment something unrelated to the point he was making
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 07:40 PM
-2

The study found women more negative on Democracy, The economy, The education system, Health services, Government, Standard of living, Marriage, and Financial Status. https://www.nber.org/papers/w29893?utm\_source=chatgpt.com Maybe women are just more neurotic and worry more? Men simply care less about keeping up appearances.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 07:37 PM
8

Obviously. A man who's nice but not assertive is not often all that arousing to women. These men have to pivot their entire personality if they want romantic success. That's quite difficult, and it's not really a burden that women are faced with.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 07:23 PM
3

to some extent, but it's very frustrating because it feels like every conversation these days involves people using very different definitions, or defining things as vaguely as possible. this makes it easy for people to pivot between goalposts, or assign the worst interpretation to your argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 07:15 PM
6

Y'all probably mean very similar things, but these conversations always stall out at the word choice phase
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 06:46 PM
1

For you, it makes women considerably more attractive, but "considerably more attractive" is still fundamentally different from "you're literally unfuckabe if you don't take initiative, I can't even imagine having sex with you". Maybe that is what you're saying and the difference is that extreme, but it'd be an incredibly uncommon perspective for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 05:43 PM
1

This is the answer, but a lot of women will not admit this, partly because if you pretend that men and women's sexuality works the same, you don't have to confront the ways in which dating is more difficult for men
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 05:37 PM
-1

studies show that women find more things to be a headache in general than men. I think women are more prone to being negative and complaining.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 05:34 PM
2

Well, that's true too sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 09:21 PM
2

"A lot of women are turned off by the visual of their boyfriend being topped by another man" This is the real reason, but people don't like to admit that gendered stereotypes have a much bigger impact on women's sexuality than gendered stereotypes have on men's.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 08:28 PM
2

That's such an interesting conclusion. I'm a liberal not at all preoccupied with masculinity and I don't practice benevolent sexism because I think it's infantilizing to women. But that's just my anecdotal perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 07:27 PM
3

OP never said you can't be masculine and liberal, just that conservatives are more associated with masculinity.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 07:17 PM
2

That doesn't disprove OP's point, there could be exceptions. If something is a general trend one way, it doesn't mean it always has to apply.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 07:16 PM
-2

I agree with OP, but this was a really good point.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 04:05 PM
7

I mean, he's a masculine presenting guy, and the women he chose (respectfully!) were not lookers. His politics are progressive, hardly a chud. His dating history makes complete sense, this post is a stretch, putting it lightly.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 07:13 PM
–

Nightlife and Dating Apps are both impossible mode. With work, clubs, meetups, concerts, friend groups, you at least have a fighting chance.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 10:58 PM
2

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity."
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 10:34 PM
3

A victim complex is an irrational understanding of what's happening. It's not the same thing as airing legitimate grievances. These men don't think they're being irrational. Nobody ever does. So, your post is confused. "Whiny man child" are shaming words to get men to shut up.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 02:44 PM
16

So it's a wonder that women don't have more empathy for men in this regard 🤔
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 06:00 PM
2

Oh, totally, but I don't have a big ego (no pun intended). Not everyone is gonna react the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 04:43 PM
5

Yeah, I'd prefer that to ghosting.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 04:21 PM
7

Personally, I'd like to know, but your mileage will vary.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 04:16 PM
2

0.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 04:13 PM
2

I don't have proof. It feels like a very obvious conclusion to draw based on how I know humans and therapy work. You can ask Chat GPT if you want though.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 03:22 PM
1

I think there's value in making a post like this on a debate sub. The goal is to shed light on bad arguments, and give the people making those arguments a different perspective. I think "why even care, bruh? just log off" is lazy, dismissive advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 03:21 PM
3

It's also normal to be depressed because you are single. I feel like any good therapist would tell you that.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 02:52 PM
2

Instead of focusing on the person making the bad argument, you're telling the people who receive it to ignore it. That'd be like if I bought a new perfume that smells like cat piss and everyone covers their nose when I walk by but you say "hey, if the scent isn't to your liking, just walk away and ignore it" instead of telling me that my perfume is driving people away.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 02:50 PM
1

It's entirely natural to feel unhappy about the fact that one is single, increasingly so as one gets older. Instead of telling people to acknowledge those natural emotions and work through them, it seems like a lot of y'all are advocating for repression.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 02:41 PM
6

This is a particularly annoying fallacy which I call an appeal to nihilism. "I agree, but so what, why does it matter?" Why does anything matter? It matters because bad advice affects people, and makes them feel invalidated.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 02:38 PM
12

Women are conflict avoidant people pleasers too often. Then they build up resentment and implode.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 11:16 PM
2

how are you so sure there's plenty of women that would go dutch?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 01:02 PM
1

I mean it's irrelevant to the discussion of whether it makes logical sense or not. I'm just saying I simply can't relate to this idea of choosing someone because they make your life easier. I grew up on Titanic. Freezing to death for the girl you love. That's romantic. You don't do it for what you get out of it, you do it because you're magnetically drawn to your other half. I don't need someone to have objectively good qualities, I don't need them to make life any easier, I'm responsible for th…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 06:14 PM
1

How rare it is is irrelevant. Of course men want it, because it's relatable. I find it more romantic to think, "I love you because you're my twin and I understand you better than anyone" than it is to think "I love you because, despite being a mystery, you make my life easier through the utility you provide for me." From a man's POV, the later feels more objectified and less romantic. I don't want someone to choose me because I'm the best option, I want them to choose me because I'm the right op…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 05:37 PM
4

So, is competency only relevant if it's something you yourself are competent in? Having that metric feels like it'd lead you to choose more for compatibility than power.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:09 AM
4

Yup. Men want what Gillian Flynn in Gone Girl described as the cool girl archetype: "Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get ang…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:01 AM
6

women are attracted to confidence but it's annoying that when i'm like, "ok, men have to be far more confident than the average woman", women are like, "no you don't! i'm confident! when we say we're attracted to confidence we just mean "normal adult who's not insecure""
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 03:06 PM
3

I just feel like you over corrected . You should be interested in your partners opinions. But yeah, women are attracted to confidence and competence disproportionately to what men are attracted to. Asking women how to be attractive is largely not attractive to them, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 02:24 AM
4

did i say "men are to blame"? i did not. men have some blame. these are very different statements. it's not just all one gender, there's more nuance than that. people are addicted to their phone and don't go outside. that's one reason people aren't able to find a partner. so, that's one area where we can blame men, and we can blame women, and above them, we can blame phones, and above that, we can blame society. it forms a pyramid. there's many more fractures like this that go both ways and cont…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 02:03 AM
6

notice how I have absolutely no problem saying men have some blame for why women can't find a boyfriend. but you can't concede any ground in the other direction. that's what I find laughable. i'm not making radical statements. women are just terrible at accepting criticism, no matter how mild. the choices you made were influenced by society, as much as you'd like to think you were a pure, free agent. you feel confident in your choices after the fact because they sometimes led to good outcomes. i…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 01:49 AM
3

for starters, women should take blame for giving men bad dating advice. this contributes to a piece of the pie for why men can't find girlfriends. a small piece of the societal stew. this doesn't make women bad, or malicious. mainly just ignorant. a man's parents contribute to him not finding a girlfriend. a man's friends do as well. the area he grew up in. society as a whole contributes to it. "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" could be good tough love for the individual but it's bad for spea…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 01:27 AM
7

women's advice IS often unhelpful and does lead men who sincerely take it to heart astray. This doesn't mean that women are solely to blame but there's some degree of blame. We (unironically) live in a society. If women can't even accept a sliver of blame about anything then you're putting 100% of the blame on men. And that seems a lot more immature and radical to me than applying a sociological approach (something women will understand in other contexts). It'd have been cooler if you just told …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 12:53 AM
8

i'm just burnt out on the flippant exclamation mark thing. women will often communicate with ironic exaggeration as a way to invalidate the other person and assert a sense of superiority. it's rude.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 12:11 AM
6

someone who molds themself to fit your opinions is a spineless, boring loser. i'm not interested in that power imbalance.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 12:04 AM
11

more condescension
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 11:21 PM
–

that's why dating apps are such a poor option for men. Guys who look like this are primarily getting matched with obese women, if they get any matches at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 12:05 AM
–

oh okay, i get what you're saying, i wont be pedantic haha. y'all have convinced me to move my examples up to a solid 6.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 10:59 PM
–

The average man is overweight, not obese. Meaning his shape is more like this. <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 10:53 PM
–

7 / 7.5 is getting ridiculous
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 07:06 PM
–

Maybe slightly above average, I see there's some debate, but that's definitely the type of guy who would use a dating up for 2 months and in that time only get matched with 6 obese women, one alt woman whose profile is a shitpost, and one slightly below average women who won't respond to his message.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 07:00 PM
–

what do you think her rating would be? 6?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 06:04 PM
–

you think so? hmm, i guess i could see like a 5.5, verging on 6. it's close tho.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 05:51 PM
–

<image> average woman
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 05:49 PM
–

<image> average guy
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 05:48 PM
2

you're conflating different groups of men
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 12:09 AM
1

Great question. I'd probably say Charli XCX. Maybe Sofia Coppola.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 07:39 PM
–

Incorrect. Women think men are only interested in sex and not relationships because the men they encounter don't want a relationship with them. But, what they fail to realize is that man would want a relationship with them if they liked their looks or personality more.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 04:58 PM
–

Maybe because that's what kind human beings with empathy would do. Just a thought.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 04:54 PM
32

Aren't you.... proving his point that women don't have game?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 07:52 PM
5

That's true. Masculinity is harder to pull off than femininity and we're not as good at hard things as a society because of the internet and modern living.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 07:50 PM
7

I just don't think men care about those things as much as they care about looks, quality conversations, and similar interests / values. get a moderate reading on all three and you're practically a soulmate. women just have other boxes, based on a difference in how attraction works for both sexes.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 01:25 AM
7

Ok, but men have to be less awkward and less boring than the average woman, because women value different traits than men do.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 10:53 PM
1

or.... people downplay the greatness of relationships because conflict avoidant people have a tendency to downplay things in an attempt to make the other person feel better. it's not that deep.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 10:28 PM
3

ok and women fail to understand that in order to be that option that's chosen you have to a. be at least at a similar looks level and b. have significant overlap in interests and values if those things are not met in the first place, don't ask yourself why the man can't live without you. make sure you fall for the real person and not the idea of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 03:00 AM
32

They struggle to understand that their personality is the reason men don't want to be their boyfriend.
/r/EverydayMisandry29/05/26 11:21 PM
109

If the lady in the comic is the one who wants to talk or cuddle, shouldn't she just like.... initiate that instead of expecting the guy to initiate everything? Especially if they're in a FWB arrangement.
/r/EverydayMisandry29/05/26 09:44 PM
3

That's so interesting, I usually find unconfident men to be way less intimidating. A lot of these men are too timid to take out their frustrations on someone else, they just direct everything inward. I'm much more fearful of the confident bullshitter who's too narcissistic to empathize with others.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 01:12 AM
1

I know you didn't mean the fantasy genre, I was making a separate point. I'd appreciate if you don't call me babe, comes off condescending to me, but perhaps you didn't mean it that way. There's a difference between what you'd expect for your partner and what you'd like. We don't have to perform every one of our sexual fantasies in order to be satisfied. No, I haven't read those books but I did read It Ends With Us and I was very surprised that the whole pivot of that was "oh no, Ryland hits wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 03:05 PM
1

I think porn indicates what makes us horny, just like those books indicate what makes women horny. I'm not saying those are the only men that make women horny. I'm not even saying they all want to date those men. But it seems reasonable to conclude they make them horny. You can't compare this to a fantasy book, this isn't Lord of the Rings, because one of the primary functions of the literature is literally arousal.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 02:27 PM
1

but isn't it a little weird for women to say "skill issue" to struggling men, given that social skills are much more important for a man's dating success than a woman's?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 09:13 PM
2

I just feel like your comments aren't really engaging with what OP said. Where did OP disagree that males have more of the traits you listed?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 05:55 PM
8

Ok, but OP did, that was very relevant to the point of his post, it was a post about generalizations. You're doing a sort of duck and weave right now. You don't totally want to commit to a defense of generalization, but you also want to push back against OP, so you're going with, "I'm not literally saying the words all men!" Maybe tell us the degree to which generalizations are justified, that'd clear things up a lot. On a scale of crossing the street when you see a man at night, to wanting to a…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 03:36 PM
5

Are you or are you not justifying the m&m analogy? If you are, then you're indicting a whole group, as much as you may say you're not.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 12:29 PM
5

I want to be valued for being a creative genius.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 08:39 PM
2

Sure, there's plenty of men out there who aren't so jealous that they'll restrict you from getting attention from other men. When you act on that attention, it becomes another thing entirely.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 12:18 AM
2

It might be the case that a very small, outlier percentage of men get off to genuine snuff, disproportionate to women. I'll bite that bullet.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 08:06 PM
5

Except they're not just "getting off on inflicting harm on a person" are they? They're getting off on dominating another person in a way the other consensually enjoys.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 07:46 PM
2

I never said that you claimed that, I made a comment on how you were acting. Men like dominance and women like submission, in large part due to biology. What's the issue?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 07:41 PM
10

It's entirely relevant. You're acting like men are unique in liking pain kinks, and framing this as if women are being subservient in these acts, as if there's not increased pleasure that comes from pain. Also, you're just asking an ignorant question, and showing a lack of empathy. You really can't think of any common male kinks that don't involve the pain of a woman?? Voyeurism, roleplay, femdom, aesthetic kinks like panties, or costumes, or stockings, foot fetishes.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 07:17 PM
35

Have you looked up the data on this? Women are disproportionately represented among consumers of a lot of aggressive and violent porn categories.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 06:39 PM
6

Hmm, might be more common than you think.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 06:35 PM
–

But I think the piece you're not getting is that porn is like a vacuum. Sex can even be a vacuum. But being with a partner encompasses more than a vacuum. Your look, and your exterior, is not nearly the whole of all that creates sustained desire for women. Who you are matters just as much and women tend to be attracted to "masculine" behavioral traits. Along with your physical form, women are considering whether you make them feel safe and a lot of women don't think other women can make them fee…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 10:38 PM
–

I will never be able to accept the idea that a woman watching lesbian porn is totally straight because she's "imagining the pleasure happening to her". There's just no way. You're getting off to two people fucking each other. You can do whatever mental gymnastics you want, but nobody is that skilled in cognitive dissonance. Women are just really good at finding convenient explanations for things.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 09:46 PM
4

What if I respect women so much that I don't want to infantilize them by paying for them?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 08:53 PM
–

Yeah, I think about sexuality the same way. So, my conclusion is literally just that I think most women are bisexual lol. And then I consider.... well, why can't these women see themselves in relationships with other women? And, I think for a lot of women, the "masculine behavioral role" is just as important as the physical for making a woman feel safe in the relationship, and... making her feel feminine. So then, why is this the case? Is it biological? Is it socialization? Insecurity? Sort of h…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 07:25 PM
–

It seems like a lot of women are defining their sexuality by who they could see themselves in a relationship with, as opposed to who they're able to get aroused by.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 03:28 PM
1

My hypothesis for this was that more men would say yes than women but we don't really have enough responses to interpret.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 12:49 AM
9

That's not a system, that's a minority of men. Just like how if there was a race that disproportionately committed more crime, it'd be prejudiced to lump them all together as a system. If you're referring to "the patriarchy" (I have issues with how this concept is framed), you'd have to lump women in with that group too.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 10:49 PM
3

Given how often I see people downplay or ignore interpersonal prejudice as if it's entirely inconsequential makes me feel like a lot of people are too immature to handle such sociological concepts. Invoking the amorphous, undefined "system" is, ironically, a shield with which to wield more power. I wrote a poem about it. <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 10:39 PM
10

I never said you should deny statements. I think you should either address the question, or ignore it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 08:50 PM
10

You didn't answer the question.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 08:43 PM
8

What weird framing. We don't want you to protect us, we just don't like double standards, and want you to be decent human beings. There's an implicit "men need to suck up all slights or else they're bitches" in this framing. It's... odd.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 08:34 PM
5

That's fair, sorry I misrepresented you.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 08:25 PM
11

"women often hate men as a system" That's called stereotyping, or prejudice. It's not a good defense.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 08:14 PM
21

I don't really agree. I think, in 2026, the internet has a pretty big impact on how people see the world, and increasingly so. Saying that we should only combat this hatred in real life feels like a cop out to me. Botting is a part of the chaos, but there's still plenty of ill will regardless.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 08:11 PM
31

To your point, what blows my mind about a lot of misandrists is that they're so insulated by their ideology that a lot of them refuse to acknowledge that misandry is even real.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 08:07 PM
1

I'm sorry to hear about that, I really don't know what it's like to go through. I think I have some trauma that might have shaped my resistance to cultish ideology as well, but it was verbal abuse. Good to see you spreading reasonable takes in this space.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 08:20 PM
1

That's great, I'm glad you can look at gender dynamics with nuance. Does it ever frustrate you that so many women refuse to acknowledge that privilege is not a one way street experienced by the "oppressor / patriarchy", but rather a double edged sword experienced by both genders?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 08:03 PM
1

Sure, but why can't we all just admit that this is simultaneously a privilege as much as it's a disadvantage. Women never want to frame it as a privilege.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 07:52 PM
–

Oh, that changes how I interpret your post, I feel like that information would have been good to include. You made it sound like you don't want attention or validation at all, which sounds super antisocial.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 07:59 PM
–

Thank you for your service.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 04:16 PM
1

Sounds like you're straight then
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 11:41 PM
3

The men in porn really are hideous.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 03:39 PM
3

Please describe to me the shit men are wanking it to that they wouldn't actually want to do / see / fuck. Also, I never said anything about acting on desire. I'm saying that masturbating to lesbian porn indicates that these women have sexual attraction to other women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 06:50 AM
1

Not really, it's actually something people argue about frequently.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 06:13 AM
–

what's cringey about this? she had an emotional reaction to an assassination attempt. understandable, given that that's how her husband died. just because I disagree with someone's politics doesn't mean i need to stop having empathy for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 04:06 AM
1

I think you'd have an issue with your loved ones calling you bisexual, but you don't want to say that because you doubled down on being unbothered by it. I think you're being performative.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 04:00 AM
0

Well, you could just have an issue with people saying things that you don't think are true or represent you, that's completely reasonable.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 03:43 AM
1

Of course. But I asked if you'd have an issue with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 03:30 AM
0

Sorry, I turned your fun, light thing into an excuse to demonstrate my analytical skills haha. I guess armpit hair is hot sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 03:06 AM
3

Well, if a bisexual guy is monogamous with you then you wouldn't have to worry about "shit dick in your pussy". Your analogy might make sense if women's favorite porn category was "fat ugly men" and then said they have a revulsion to them offline.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 02:54 AM
2

So if I call you bisexual, would you have an issue with that? Would you have an issue if people in your personal life told you you were bisexual?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 02:44 AM
1

Women get disgusted the same way they get disgusted at the thought of dating a bisexual man. They hate the way it goes against gender norms. They like feeling feminine.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 02:18 AM
1

I think there's an interesting conversation to be had about how much this is rooted in homophobia and socialization towards gender norms, but I don't know how we could ever figure that out. A big difference I notice between the sexuality of men and women is that women's arousal seems to rely much more on personality and context. For me, I find a woman sexually attractive, and then from that point I have to figure out whether I like their personality to know if they'd be a suitable match. A lot o…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 02:10 AM
2

That's totally fair. I tell myself I'm using logical reasoning to come to my conclusions, but I could be wrong. I don't see how it's possible to be sexually satisfied masturbating to two members of the same sex and come out the other end straight. I don't buy this idea that it's because it "focuses on the women's pleasure". Nobody's imagination and ability to self-insert is that good. On some level, a part of you is getting off to the visuals in front of you. What I think is likely happening is …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 01:34 AM
2

There's pretty to look at men that I don't feel sexually attracted to. However, the dynamic fundamentally changes if I were to start jerking off to gay porn. That would indicate a sexual attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 01:19 AM
14

This goes beyond aesthetic attraction when you're literally masturbating to lesbian porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 01:12 AM
4

Because you like the way that men make you feel, emotionally. Men make you feel feminine. Men make you feel safe. You're likely more attracted to masculine personality traits than feminine ones, and this accounts for your emotional arousal to men. You're still able to get turned on and sexually aroused by women. In a vacuum. If you're rubbing one out to lesbian porn, it's because you're turned on by the sight of women fucking. You can do these mental gymnastics to say it's because it "focuses on…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 12:45 AM
–

Yes, I do.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 11:54 PM
1

Yes, they are, but women only ever frame the sword one way, they never frame it as a privilege.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 11:50 PM
1

Why does the argument become less effective depending on who is speaking?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 11:22 PM
1

Men don't really have "hear me outs" to the same degree that women do because men's sexuality is primarily visual, and women's sexuality relies a lot more on personality and context. That's why they can get off to erotica about Minotaurs. The closest I get is Elisabeth Moss, and she's still very conventionally attractive, maybe just less so for celebrity standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 09:49 PM
–

If you're trying to square the fact that many women watch lesbian porn but claim they're straight, I have a simpler explanation. They're bisexual. A lot of women are sexually attracted to women, but not emotionally attracted to women, because they don't believe other women will be able to make them feel safe in a relationship. Because they view emotional attraction as the basis of their sexuality, they remain in denial / ignorance about being bisexual. Of course, I could be wrong, but this is th…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 07:03 PM
3

Not what I said.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 06:53 PM
6

Well, did you miss my point where I said that there's some women who don't want you to hint at anything sexual but still need you to make it clear that you desire them uniquely to feel aroused? I expanded this from just a conversation about sex. Flirtation moves things in the direction of sex. My point is that a lot of men would be perfectly fine talking like platonic friends until they figure out how they actually feel about you. A lot of men will not figure out how they feel about you as a per…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 09:46 PM
11

You can give a shit about someone's comfort and common decency, but that doesn't create attraction. The truth is, if a man interacts with a woman the way he would a male homie, just vibing things out, he's going to be rejected more often than not. The reason you can't see this is because you're ignorant to the male experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 09:31 PM
11

If a guy is on a date with you, he most likely finds you sexually attractive. If a woman is on a date with you, she often thinks you're attractive, and have the potential to be sexually attractive. Whether you become sexually attractive often depends on what is revealed about your personality, and the frame you step into. If a guy doesn't shift the frame away from the platonic into something more charged the woman will often think, "the guy isn't attracted to me" or "the guy is not confident eno…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 08:31 PM
20

Women seem to have no clue how often "the spark" is reliant on this sexual tension and flirtation because they're not the ones who have to initiate it. On the dating sub one of the most common things you'll see is men asking why women tell them they didn't feel a spark and so often the common denominator is that they weren't flirtatious.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 05:03 PM
3

You're conflating things a bit. I don't think most women who are single and childless are going out being hoes. Women tend to desire casual sex less than men do. I don't think there's anything wrong with being a hoe, I wish women were into casual sex as much as men are. You're also talking out of your ass a bit. You're saying long term relationships are not for you but you're literally in one and enjoying the benefits of one right now. Sure, there's aspects of being single that you miss, just li…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 05:16 PM
2

Another way to say "compliments you" is "fills in the areas where I'm deficient". If I have a missing piece, I should probably fill it myself instead of expecting a partner to do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 08:39 AM
2

This could be avoided if you just select based on similarities. If you go by that and you're organized, why are you selecting someone who isn't? If you're a lazy fuck, why would it bother you if your partner is also a lazy fuck? You can be lazy fucks together.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 08:29 AM
2

Disagree. I think men get into relationships where they hate and resent their partners because they overlook the things they don't have in common with women. I think women want a man to fill in the slack where they're deficient, so I do think that women end up resenting men if they only select for similarities and intimacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 08:12 AM
3

Disagree. I think people end up in horrible situationships because they're not selecting for similarities. Situationships are usually because one person doesn't like your personality enough to consider you relationship material. If you combine a life with someone, struggling shouldn't intrinsically build into it, but neither should ease imo. I'm not expecting anything more than I could do on my own. Just want a deep friendship and sex. And then, if we have enough money for it, maybe a kid.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 07:55 AM
2

Well, the comparison doesn't really make any sense when you think about it. Men want to have mutually beneficial sex and mutually beneficial friendship with women. The amount of men I see engage in revenge fantasy compared to the amount of women I see conflate natural human desire with entitlement is lopsided and frankly silly. Conversations about men's pain and loneliness are routinely hijacked by these claims of entitlement that lack basic nuance.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 07:17 AM
2

Okay, thank you. Do you think he provides for you because he's so taken by your looks and personality? Sounds like that could be the case, and if so, you've successfully countered my snarky response.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 06:52 AM
1

Explain to me how it's entitlement. I'm not getting it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 06:50 AM
2

okay, so why are you muddying the waters? There was nothing about your first statement that necessitates entitlement. Painting men's desire for women as "entitlement" is a way to move the goalposts and paint something natural as toxic.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 06:44 AM
3

I wouldn't say that, I'd just say it's not very romantic. I want to meet someone I connect with on a deep level. If that means I don't get to have a family, and I don't get to grow old, and we end up poor, so be it. I'd do it all for love.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 06:36 AM
5

Wanting something is not entitlement.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 06:27 AM
2

I have three questions for context. How long have you been together? Does religion influence his ideas about sex? Have you had sex at all / and how much?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 06:25 AM
3

It's not actually primarily about the resources. It's about the validation of being with a man who has a lot of resources.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 06:19 AM
6

And the reason you're so sure about this is because you've tested it out in relationships where you didn't have sex, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 06:18 AM
8

You're trying to treat every use of "not all men" like it's equally invalid. You chose an example where someone is saying "some" and you're acting like that's the most common instance where someone will rebut with "not all men" but I reject that assessment. I see people use "not all men" when that qualifier is not present quite frequently.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 06:50 PM
23

This isn't true though, yall are just really good at controlling narrative. "Not all men" is absolutely used in instances where generalizations are taking place. One fallacy that women make is that they think because safety or danger is being discussed it cancels out generalization, or it's an excuse to be prejudiced towards men. "Women take precautions because some men can be dangerous" is such a disingenuous way to frame one side as more reasonable. It wouldn't make sense to say "not all men" …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 04:51 PM
3

Cognitive disengagement syndrome (essentially chronic brain fog / inattentive ADHD) makes it difficult to have things to say in a group setting or connect with people. On top of that I have very advanced emotional intelligence, so finding someone is tough, and finding someone who's an intellectual equal almost feels impossible. On top of that I'm lazy and don't have a good job and live with my crazy, rich, emotionally abusive mother, and I'm not especially masculine. So, there's many factors. Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 12:22 AM
0

whataboutism
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 09:46 PM
5

Well, I care more about integrity, so to the mod who just gave me a warning for "promoting identity-based hate or attacks" I'm going to say fuck you. I was not doing that. I was exposing the hypocrisy of someone promoting identity-based hate. It's just more socially excusable in this case.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 06:01 PM
6

Convenient.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 05:53 PM
2

[ Removed by Reddit ]
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 05:51 PM
6

There is no excuse for prejudice. We can understand why someone is prejudiced. If someone was raped at gunpoint I'd certainly understand why they were prejudiced. That doesn't make prejudice right, or morally justifiable.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 05:41 PM
13

Saying "men suck isn't even misandry" is you being biased against men. Frustration isn't an excuse for prejudice. Fear is also not an excuse for prejudice. Sub men out for "black men" and you'll see how these are not good justifications.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 05:34 PM
5

not necessarily. there's definitely women who weren't initially attracted to their partner but became so once their character was revealed. for women, attraction isn't as dependent on appearance as it is for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 05:26 PM
0

Well, women are more neurotic. I'm just telling it how it is. Sorry if that upsets you.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 02:52 PM
0

Why would you say that?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 02:47 PM
10

Yup, this has always been the real blackpill. Proactivity, not looks. The reason that men are struggling so much these days is because society, as a whole, is less socially fluent, and the burden falls on men.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 02:46 PM
-3

Women don't feel as safe as men because they're more neurotic. Safety, in the context of attraction, doesn't just mean, "oh, I want to feel like I'm not going to be raped or hurt." It means, "I want to feel like he's going to make living easier by helping me through social interactions and life. Would he be a strong and capable father for potential offspring?" The burden of performance, and being proactive, is largely on men, at least in the context of attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 02:35 PM
–

Thanks, one of life's cruelest jokes is that I have high empathy and am very good at diagnosing women's sexual desire, but... I'm dreadful at putting it into practice. I don't know how men get it wrong so often, we've only had 300,000 years to figure it out.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 02:29 AM
–

I don't think it's fair to blame women for their biology. I think one thing you're not considering is the way that women's sexuality differs from men's. Women have their pick of the litter on the apps, so why is it that men outnumber them 3 to 1? It's because the apps are working against their biological desire response. Women don't just become aroused through visual stimuli like we do. Women become aroused through the context of a man's whole personality. This is a weird way to put it, but I th…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 07:06 PM
1

ok, but that's an incredibly unpopular opinion with women. they view a man concealing his sexuality like it's practically rape.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 09:35 AM
–

I think they were making a separate point about how feminist circles have vilified the use of "not all men" as a way to hand wave their own bigotry. Do you find that problematic?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 08:08 PM
–

So it's never constructive criticism towards women to put more effort in? Why does the criticism only ever go one way?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 07:52 PM
–

I think men are mostly looking for compatibility but sometimes they'll overlook it if they're hypnotized enough by the way a woman looks. Women often look for compatibility + some degree of masculine behavior to keep them aroused, because this makes them feel safe in the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 07:38 PM
6

Okay, so if a woman wants to go against social norms and propose to her partner instead of vice versa does that woman have an ego too big and should she show up in her own Society by following standard rules of conduct?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 07:43 AM
9

The thing is, I'm not nearly as honest as I'd like to be. It's pretty easy to be honest on the internet, but in real life you have to confront people's egos face to face and it's stressful. Also, I don't want to nuke connections.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 07:21 AM
5

Once again you are appealing to the norm. I agree that that accounts for our societal script for social skills. But just because something is the norm doesn't mean I have to agree with it or like it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 06:50 AM
5

You're advocating for defaulting to the way you and most of society prefer to communicate. But I do not feel heard and understood. It makes me feel lonely.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 06:29 AM
12

I think ego is inevitable and human. It's when we feel insecure. I just happen to have a very low ego, and highly value honesty. I think "greatest of them all" is immature framing. I think "greatest connection I've felt from another human" is something more realistic. I wouldn't be offended if my partner called me a 4 out of 10 because I have value beyond my looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 06:27 AM
5

"Learning social skills" is just a way to coddle your ego at the expense of my emotional expression.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 06:13 AM
26

I feel like this is the majority opinion, no? I personally have a very low ego, so I love honesty and have the emotional bandwidth for it but most people do not and will freak out. What no one ever acknowledges is how lonely it feels to have this desire for honesty but constantly have to tiptoe over people's ego.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 05:51 AM
8

These conversations are so difficult because "masculine" and "feminine" are always so shiftily defined. I know this response might read ridiculous to some, because there's a script that what you say is true, but I don't think in 2026 there's a perception that cooking is feminine anymore. When I see The Bear or Gordon Ramsey I don't think wow, he's really flipping gender norms by showing competence at providing for people. Even though women still cook more than men do, I don't think cooking is pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 09:22 AM
8

Oh, I thought we were having a good faith conversation. I didn't realize you wanted me to hold your hand and specify that I was not referring to all men, but instead stating a general pattern of a difference between sexes.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 08:13 AM
6

A generalization is a statement that seems to be true in most situations or for most people, but that may not be completely true in all cases. I'm not speaking for all men. I'm saying that what I've stated is generally common, even though there are exceptions.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 08:07 AM
6

I'm not using anecdotal evidence to speak for all men. I'm using anecdotal evidence to make a generalization about men.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 07:45 AM
1

Maybe you'll enjoy the film Sanctuary. I think it's really underrated, I recommend it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 05:41 AM
20

Kink? No. Just basic observational skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 04:20 AM
14

I think masculine men generally like women who like masculine hobbies, and are "low maintenance", and are able to maturely communicate their wants and emotions, and aren't too sensitive to off-color jokes. They want what Gillian Flynn satirized as "the cool girl".
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 04:19 AM
79

Gendered behavior is a driver of women's sexuality in a way it simply isn't for men. Men may have a preference for gendered behavior, but it's often not the thing that's actively turning them on. Gendered appearance is the main driver of men's sexuality. I'm always shocked at how many people don't realize this.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 03:45 AM
–

Stereotyping
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 12:59 AM
1

Well, it's a scale that goes up the more into it she is, that's true. But that still has nothing to do with his own pleasure and orgasm. It has to do with his partner's expressed desire. But, I guess it'd also be accurate to say that women's validation has nothing to do with their own pleasure and orgasm as well, so I'll make that clear. Expressed desire. That's where the validation comes from. The only difference is that men have a buy in of much more validation off rip just from the woman choo…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 10:26 PM
2

What's interesting about this is that it doesn't work in the reverse. For men, their validation has nothing to do with their own pleasure and orgasm, it's entirely based on the value they receive from being chosen and desired by the other person. For women, their validation is stoked when the man can demonstrate that he cares about the woman as more than a body.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 10:01 PM
1

Yeah, it's wild to think about, but I'm attempting to empathize. Of course, I could be wrong, and women could be concealing the extent of these feelings due to virtue signaling or a sort of power play, but I think a safe assumption is: A. Sex is validating for everyone B. Sex is just more validating for men
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 06:25 PM
9

Here's the disconnect. Sex is validating for everyone, but it's less emotionally validating for women than it is for men. Women understand that men are sexually interested in a large field of women. Men receive way less attention (especially sexual attention) from women so sex is infinitely more validating for them. For men, sex is like, oh my god, she wants to have sex with me, oh my god, she's getting wet, oh my god, I have value, I'm a real boy after all! For women, sex is like, duh-doy, he w…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 06:03 PM
8

Is there some truth to the "creep shamed and humiliated" point? Sure, a little bit. Is it massively overinflated and largely used as cope? Absolutely. Humans don't like initiating because it's scary and anxiety-inducing. This is due to not knowing what is going to happen in the interaction, and having the burden of performance. It's really not hard to figure out.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 07:44 AM
5

I thought you were backing up the comment that said "sex only. not dating and relationships" by saying that the only reason men think women have an advantage in dating and relationships is because they equate it with easy access to sex, and you personally disagree with the idea that they have an advantage in dating and relationships. Apologies if I inferred too much.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 02:21 AM
4

It's because "gendered traits" play a more pivotal role in women's attraction. If a man finds a woman decently attractive, a friendship is only going to make him more attracted to her. Meanwhile, women aren't just looking for a best friend that they get to fuck, they're looking for a best friend that they get to fuck who's suitably masculine. Their attraction is much more reactive, and relies on many more variables that filter out their male friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 01:35 AM
13

Okay, well have you considered that you're an outlier, and most people (men and women alike) want to experience sex at some point and would feel unwanted / defective if this desire went unmet?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 12:17 AM
4

Don't know how old you are, and it's not a conversation about you, is it, it's a conversation about all of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 12:10 AM
3

What should we expect of a person's self-esteem if they remain a virgin for their entire lifespan?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 12:07 AM
7

But sex (and romantic relationships!) is a very important part of the human experience, and a lot of women have a hard time admitting that they have any privileges whatsoever.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 11:18 PM
8

What makes you so sure that women don't have more privileges and power than the average man when it comes to dating and relationships?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 11:16 PM
11

okay cool. wasn't talking about you, you were never in question. you're a charmer and have a decade in sales. you must be an exceptional woman, and the dating strategy you'd employ as a man would be exceptional.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 03:46 AM
15

What would make zero sense would be if a woman were to claim that they'd be an exceptional man when they're not able to demonstrate how they already possesses the traits that would carry over to dating success in the opposite sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 03:26 AM
12

What are you doing right now in your life to make you think you'd be this proactive of a guy? The other woman said she's in sales.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 08:55 PM
6

I thought the "it's different" was referring to "dating a woman is different than dating a man", not "a woman dating a woman is different than a man dating a woman"
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 08:51 PM
1

How is it not?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 05:47 PM
1

From a guys perspective... a "spark" seems to often just be sexual tension caused by flirtation and mystery.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 04:37 AM
2

Yes. This is why men say they're looking for a best friend that they get to fuck. They don't need their best friend to fulfill a certain level of competence or performance before their attraction dims.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 05:24 PM
3

I'll butt in to answer as well. Simply put: I'm looking for the same things I look for in a platonic friendship. Someone who shares interests and values and my sense of humor. Someone similar to me. This leads to understanding and connection. I'm not looking for someone "better" than me, or someone who can fill in the areas where I'm lacking. If I ask my girlfriend what they did this weekend and they say, "Not much. I just doom-scrolled and slept, mostly" I'd be no less attracted to them, so lon…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 05:22 PM
2

There's a phenomena where... because women have the ability to choose men who could fill in the areas of their life they're deficient in... they sometimes do. Men generally understand that if they're bored, that's their problem to fix. They don't look to their partner as a source of entertainment. They don't generally look for people who are "better" than them who they could live vicariously through. They look for connection and understanding above all else.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 04:57 PM
1

He did list them as positives. He said these things don't override physical attraction to the same degree as in the opposite sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 04:30 PM
1

Yeah, well men can be dumb.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 04:28 PM
1

I'd believe this. I just think that women care about things like social skills and confidence and competence much much more than men do. Men and women have a similar initial looks filter. But, once you get past this filter, women have an additional filter which takes into account "gendered behavior". The "masculine" filter. Men mainly just care about femininity as it relates to appearance.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 04:20 PM
5

why are you just listing celebrities that were victims of having their sex tapes leaked?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 06:35 AM
3

Women are attracted to feeling safe and secure. Who makes women feel safe and secure? Powerful men.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 06:49 AM
8

They didn't associate your peeps with impolite. They associated their peeps with polite.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 03:02 PM
5

I don't follow. Can you explain the correlation?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 04:53 PM
18

I would say a lot of men want someone they can merge souls with. But, if they can't find that, as they inevitably won't, they'll settle for sex. That's the major difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 07:55 AM
3

Well, what do you think when you think "the best for me"? Do you think of someone who can fill in the areas you're deficient or do you think of someone with similar personality traits / interests / values? Some combination of the two? I lean much more towards the latter because I think it often creates a stronger connection.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 04:13 PM
1

They should probably look for someone who has a similar mental bandwidth because that will make them feel understood and create connection.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 04:29 AM
–

The woman isn't just special off rip. She's gotta prove she's special. That's the purpose of the date.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/25 11:17 PM
2

I feel this. Sometimes I think I could go without a cinephile cause it's so hard to find one in the wild, but then I'm like nah, movies are too important to me. What I've settled on is, "you don't have to like all the shit I like, but you do need to have a boundless curiosity and open-mindedness towards art." If you don't wanna go with me to see the new arthouse movie, or get insecure when I'm more critical than what you're used to... it ain't gonna work out.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 09:43 PM
5

Yeah, absolutely, if you have a masculine aesthetic, you're afforded more grace to have less masculine traits because there's a built in perception of you as masculine already. But, it's not analogous in the reverse because men don't really need a perception of you as a WOMAN™ in order to get turned on. They're just looking for feminine beauty. This is why men often see it as a positive if their girlfriend "acts like one of the guys". Certain men might prefer gender roles, but their sexuality is…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 09:33 PM
5

It's absolutely not the same thing. Feminine traits are not really a trigger for men's arousal the same way masculine traits are a trigger for women's arousal. Women's sexuality works differently in this way.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 08:41 PM
2

Really? That's interesting. Masculinity is all the proactive hero traits whereas femininity is seen as much more passive. I think men and women's sexuality just functions differently. Men are primarily attracted to appearance. They're not nearly as attracted to gendered behavior. They may like feminine behavior. They may think it's a plus. But I don't think it's the thing that's drawing them in in the same sort of way.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 02:07 PM
1

So, you can see how the bar for femininity is MUCH easier to achieve than the bar for masculinity. And how this means men have extra expectations placed on them, given that "masculine behavior" is often very central to women's arousal. When I ask women what masculine traits are, they often essentially communicate, "someone more competent than me".
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 01:57 PM
6

If you have a masculine aesthetic, you're afforded more grace to have less masculine traits.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 01:51 PM
9

Masculine behavior is quite often a requirement for women's sexuality. Feminine behavior isn't a requirement for men's sexuality, just feminine appearance. A lot of women are blind to the privilege this affords them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 01:43 PM
1

I think the main difference for me is that a criticism of a man will often have other men joining in as well. It might not be the majority of the commentary, but it's not uncommon to see at least like 15% divisiveness among their same gender. However, with women, I find that you're much more likely to see a greater lack of diversity in opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 05:54 PM
3

Thank you for explaining, I can see how your upbringing would influence your sense of what you're attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 03:45 AM
-1

Of course it's taboo to care about money in this way where the man's financials always need to be above the woman's. It's based on gender norms and women will get accused of being Gold Diggers. Your argument doesn't really hold water, because there's another option that exists for women if they care about money and plan on having children. They could get a better job.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 10:48 PM
-1

No, obviously not. They're lying about the fact that they become less aroused by a man when he earns less money than them. It's seen as a big social taboo to admit this outright, so it makes sense why they'd lie about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 10:32 PM
2

Please don't put words in my mouth. I think some of the women are lying. Some of the women don't actually know what they want. And a great deal of them are telling the truth.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 09:04 PM
4

You might get some hate, but a lot of us do WANT women to be honest. I think it's probably a somewhat common reaction, but women will not often admit it. Do you think the link between your sexual desire and your man being better than you in this regard is something hardwired into your biology? Is the attraction to the competence? The masculinity? Are these things related?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 07:59 PM
3

If I was talking about a friend with benefits I would have said that. I said "a best friend you get to fuck". Entirely different.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 04:26 PM
5

i would watch the fuck out of that i'm ngl 💀
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 01:27 AM
5

Do you think the average person is charming and confident?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 11:16 PM
2

That's why I included the "best friend" part
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 05:25 PM
4

It's literally one of the main distinctions between platonic and romantic relationships but sorry if the way I worded it offends your delicate sensibilities.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 05:22 PM
1

Well, I don't choose just anybody to be my best friend. They'd have to be a very special person that has a lot in common with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 05:09 PM
2

Why do yall seem to think that being charming and confident is the same as "basic social skills"?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 04:56 PM
8

When I think of the question "how would a girlfriend improve my life" I think "by being a best friend that I get to fuck." I don't think of how they could make my life easier because that feels unromantic. I could marry a billionaire and that would make my life easier but it wouldn't necessarily be love. I could marry someone with massive debt and it might be worth it because they're my favorite person. Love isn't about making life easier, it's about finding the right personality match to share …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 04:47 PM
2

We're getting into the semantic weeds. Charming does not just equal pleasant in the context we're talking about. If we were describing a house we could use your definition. But, when it comes to social interaction, you can be pleasant in a bland way (polite, agreeable) without being charming. Someone who's charming might be likable, witty, or have the ability to make others feel good around them. Charm and charisma have a lot of overlap. I feel like you're being obtuse. When women say they like …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 05:32 AM
2

I disagree with your definitions. I think charming, in the context of our conversation, means someone who has an aptitude for making social connections. Someone who's charming is able to easily endear themselves to others, often because they're funny and entertaining. Confidence and competence aren't quite the same. Confidence is a feeling of self-assuredness that you acquire by being competent in something. Once again, it's largely used in the context of social skills. Women like confidence bec…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 04:45 AM
11

If I'm not charming and confident, why should it be a prerequisite for me? I'm intelligent, logical, empathetic, artistic, have good taste. Those are the things I look for, because that's how I'm gonna find someone to connect with. I don't need to look for someone more socially fluent, because I'm a man, and my sexual arousal is less dependent on finding someone to entertain and lead me.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 04:09 AM
16

Well, there's not enough charming and confident men to account for all the women who desire those traits. It's not like women are any more charming and confident, it's just less of a prerequisite for men's sexual interest.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 03:56 AM
2

I don't think most women are giving up on attraction. I think a lot of women select for confidence, competence, and humor, because these things arouse them, excite them, and make them feel at ease. From the men that arouse them, they hope they have some similarities and a genuine connection.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 05:32 PM
2

The easiest way for women to avoid this is to just go for men they have a lot in common with (interests, humor, values, personality type). Those are the men most likely to genuinely love you because you're selecting based on specific criteria that's tailored to you. However, a lot of women are sexually attracted to signifiers of masculinity, and this conflicts with the types of men who have things in common with them. A lot of women are hoping for some combination of the two: masculine enough to…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 04:39 PM
2

oh shit, i'm dumb, i should look shit up before I type
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 01:02 AM
–

Well, why is charisma something that men ought to value? What's wrong with selecting for similarities and kindness?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 09:51 AM
9

ooooh, Julie Delpy, how cool. I knew Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy had a hand in collaborating, I guess it was written by all three of them, huh? Thanks for the correction. Didn't mean to discount, and I didn't really address your question, I guess I just wanted to find a way to shoehorn in my love of the Before trilogy lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 03:43 PM
9

Not a book, but I think the "Before" film trilogy by Richard Linklater is one of the best examples of romance. No posturing, or wish fulfillment, or gender roles. Just two people having intelligent conversation and connecting with one another.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 03:32 PM
2

being an amazing person will get you far less attention than being a fun and entertaining person
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 07:39 AM
4

oh yeah, you right, my b, carry on
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 08:27 PM
13

Being good at your job or hobby or having a leadership position is sexy for women. Men are typically just attracted to women they have things in common with.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 04:45 PM
24

Yall can date whoever you want, but autistic men definitely have a harder time dating than autistic women. This is because women's attraction is much more dependent on behavior, and more specifically "masculine" behavior. Autism can affect perceived competence, confidence, and sociability. All things which are highly important in attracting women.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 10:07 PM
2

What makes you say women are just as visual as men?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 09:35 PM
12

I'm not trying to be rude but the first step might be to stop overthinking everything to this degree. Definitely don't let this manifest as neuroticism and infect the relationship. In addition to the things you listed, men generally like women they have things in common with. Talk to them with humanity. Don't sweat the small stuff. Be honest. We want a best friend that we get to have sex with. We're really that simple.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/25 01:55 AM
2

Bullshit rule. It's a relevant comparison.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 12:54 AM
2

Well, I thank you for being brave and intelligent and empathetic.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 04:35 PM
7

Both feel like they'd create a weird power imbalance. I think relationships work out better when both people are roughly as intelligent as each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 10:48 PM
14

In order to be attracted to intelligence you need to understand who is intelligent. In order to understand who is intelligent you need to be intelligent.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 10:45 PM
2

The problem I have with women in these debates is it just feels like there's less diversity of thought. Women dump on men, and then men join the pile and dump on men too, either in the name of progressivism or a sort of "pull yourselves up by the bootstraps" attitude. However, try going to a feminist subreddit and offer mild criticism of women or say something as simple as "misandry is a thing". The responses are positively cultish, all following the same rhetoric. It just seems very hard to get…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 09:13 PM
7

Don't "honey" me. People not being nice to men on the basis of them being men is absolutely misandry.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 03:01 PM
3

None of these questions are addressing the point. Do you disagree with the definition that misandry is the hatred of men?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 03:00 PM
2

Ok, I feel like we have a lot of overlap and similar opinions, we just view the sub differently. I feel like I can have a nuanced convo with maybe like 7% of the women on this sub and 30% of the men. It feels like there's less women than men here though. And, obviously, our biases are at play. If I move to a sub like TwoXChromosomes it feels very cultish. Same if I were to go to a redpill circlejerk sub. I feel like I almost never see men here saying "women should date and fuck men or else the i…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 07:00 AM
1

So, why did you say the "issues" were what you stopped empathizing with? Are you amending that statement? Unlike sympathy, I personally think it's important to have empathy for everyone. That especially includes people who spout rhetoric. When we lose empathy, we have a simplistic view of human psychology and we slot people into the worst possible motivations. I'm curious, do you have a ballpark percentage of the men on Purplepilldebate you feel like you can have a rational and nuanced conversat…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 06:02 AM
1

So, you're admitting that you let men radicalize you out of empathy? That's a shame. Sounds like prejudice.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 05:39 AM
5

I see a lot of posts here where men express that they're resentful that a significant number of women want them to pay for dates or make more money in the relationship still. The "trad" redpill perspective that women were better off when they were at home and had less power certainly has its faction here, but I definitely think it's less represented than the former one. Do you really see the men here saying "if women worked less, they'd be forced to marry for money and that's what we want" a lot…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 05:19 AM
7

So, if I avoid interacting with any black people, that's not racist, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 03:14 AM
21

Unironically, women being prejudiced, hateful, and hurting our feelings online. Let's start there. Please don't do some whataboutism and try and dismiss that as a nothingburger. It's incredibly toxic.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 03:10 AM
5

I thought "treat women well" was supposed to be synonymous with kindness in this context.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 07:49 PM
17

You're right that behavior is important, but you're wrong about the way you frame and order the behavioral traits. The truth is... charisma, and confidence, and humor tend to be vastly more important to women's arousal than kindness.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 06:33 PM
12

This is operating from the presumption that a man paying for dates is a sign that he's genuinely interested in a committed, monogamous relationship. What makes you think that?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 06:17 PM
6

Sounds like you're just prejudiced then. These things are not related at all. If you're convinced that men will inevitably cheat or abandon women regardless of if they pay for themselves, just save yourself some heartache and take yourself out of the dating pool. Because, if you truly think that you'll be fucked regardless you're contradicting the entire point of your post. Your attitude is, "if I'm gonna be fucked over, might as well have my meals paid for". Ergo, you are trading sex for money.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 05:53 PM
–

You expect him to know you're his dream girl that soon?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/25 08:30 AM
-1

I'm confused, what is the woman who has a crush on her psychiatrist supposed to be a "prime example" of? That dating isn't necessarily easier for women? Huh. How does it show that?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/25 08:18 AM
3

Why is it not the norm for women to approach men? Well, I thought it was pretty obvious. They're fearful that they'll make things awkward or be rejected.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/25 08:13 AM
2

People are gonna say it's because those friends aren't good looking enough, but I'd actually argue it's more than that. It's partly because they're not good looking enough, and partly because the woman doesn't view them as masculine enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 05:50 PM
5

wait a second am i tripping i feel like i've said this exact thing before, did you dig up my comment? 💀 give me credit, bro
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 06:32 AM
5

They really don't.... Whenever this discussion comes up there might be one lone loon who implies something like that, but the comments are always overwhelmingly men trying to convince women that we're not saying we want to take them by force and rape them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 03:27 PM
4

It seems like you're unfamiliar with the line of conversation that OP is referring to. It goes like this: someone on reddit will say they're a kissless virgin well into adulthood and it makes them feel sad. Someone will respond to this statement by saying that they need to be happy being single before they can find a relationship, or worse, "you're not entitled to a relationship". If someone insinuates that the kissless virgin is abnormal for being sad about his predicament, could you see how th…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 11:52 PM
5

You're flipping it. He's not talking about understanding that being single can be pleasant, he's talking about understanding that being continuously single deep into adulthood can be painful.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 11:15 PM
1

I still think body count is not nearly as big an issue in real life as it is online for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 07:44 PM
4

Agree to disagree.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 06:57 PM
4

We tend to define the things we're attracted to as having an aptitude for the trait, not by having an absence of the inverse. If I list humor as the number one thing I'm looking for in a woman, I'm not defining it as "someone who isn't boring", I'm defining it as someone that's exceptionally funny. Similarly, I think when most women say they're attracted to confidence in men, they're not simply talking about "men who aren't insecure", they're talking about men who exude confidence. Decisive. Str…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 05:30 PM
6

Cool! I don't think that's what most women mean when they say they're attracted to confidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 04:28 PM
7

Instead of assuming the worst, how about giving grace to the idea that confidence means different things to different people. When I think of confident people, I think of people who can walk into a room of strangers and shake everyone's hands, and leave an impression. This is a very different thing than wanting someone who is simply "not insecure". There's plenty of women who aren't confident themselves but want a confident man to carry their slack, in a sense. I could just as easily say those w…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 02:41 PM
26

We might care about confident in the sense that we don't want you to be insecure. Not in the sense that we care about you standing out in a room, or being more confident than us.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 01:58 PM
2

Therapists generally shouldn't give advice though. Their job should be to guide you to come up with your own conclusions.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 09:45 AM
1

You just need to compare how you look to the people around you. I'd say Girls-era Lena Dunham is like a 4 or 5. Start there. Most female celebrities are 8s and up.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 09:40 AM
2

I think you're bisexual but you're saying you're gay because you're a misandrist.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 05:52 PM
5

That's fine, I believe you. Thanks for being polite, in spite of my presumption. I just feel like a lot of women simply get the ick at the thought of their man fondling another man, like it breaks and taints the illusion of his masculinity that they need to buy into to feel secure. But, I do buy that that doesn't apply to you and you're genuinely just insecure. I'm sorry if it feels unfair to you to frame it this way, but it is what I think, because, while you're right that there are trends for …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 12:39 AM
8

Yes, I did, because I thought what else could the reason possibly be? If it's that you'd be insecure that they'd be more likely to cheat on you, I wouldn't say you "can't help that", because that's something that could be worked through in therapy. There's gotta be a reason you're not attracted to bi men. What would you say that reason is?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 12:26 AM
8

So... bisexual men can't sexually excite you, because they're not "masculine" enough, but also, straight men aren't "feminine" enough for you. Interesting.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 11:30 PM
3

Or... maybe there's also an element of women being so unaccustomed to men sharing emotions that they label a man's vulnerability as "trauma dumping" so they don't have to take accountability for their own discomfort. For a lot of men... a woman "trauma dumping" is the norm. A lot of women are not able to handle reciprocal energy, and make a much bigger deal out of it than men do.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 10:40 PM
2

It seems like you're saying that women's sexuality is less broad than men's is. A lot of men are attracted to 5s and up with much less sensitivity in regards to "type", or behavioral characteristics. Most men would want to fuck Margot Robbie if given the chance. Though a lot of women might want to fuck Ryan Gosling, there's going to be more dissenters who say, "I could never. He's not my type, and he does absolutely nothing for me." As someone else here said, either the guy is an 8, or the guy i…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 08:57 PM
3

Women select for manipulators and sociopaths for exactly the reason you said. Women want some random dude who doesn't even have all that much in common with her to fall for her whole soul shortly after meeting. And men don't connect, but still are drawn to the sex, so they manipulate. That doesn't mean that all men are like this. That doesn't even mean that all men could be this way if they wanted to. I think it's a phenomena that disproportionately happens, and it's a shitty thing for men to do…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 09:19 PM
3

Do yall hear yourselves? "Dating for men is easy, all you have to be is a Disney FANTASY" If it's a fantasy then it's inherently unrealistic. You're also saying that men could just be sociopaths. 💀 A. Being a sociopath is not so easy, it requires a lot of charm and B. Why would we ever want to be that? I'd feel so dead inside. Why would you bring up being "nice" as if that's a consideration that ranks above masculine behavior and charm for most women?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 07:47 PM
2

You seem fine, we're just having a difficult and confusing conversation. Thanks for being nice.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 09:50 PM
1

Hmmm, I'm not sure what you mean, but apologies if I mischaracterized your views.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 09:41 PM
0

Someone who has a "your opinion doesn't matter" attitude isn't less sensitive to it, that's just the lie they tell themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 09:35 PM
-1

You're very welcome. It sort of seems like you're making the mistake of assuming that a woman internalizing criticism means she's giving the man's grievances more consideration or weight. This is incorrect. It means she's being protective of her sense of self. There's no benefit to internalizing criticism in the way we're referring to it. It's "I know what you're saying is true, and that makes me uncomfortable, so I'm going to freak out" vs "I know what you're saying is true, and that's alright …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 09:32 PM
3

OP did a subtle trick where the word "unaffected" is pulling double duty. If someone squints at it it means, "less sensitive to criticism". That was my position, and she makes it seem like we're starting from the same frame. But, when you look at the way she's applied it it means "someone who ignores criticism". She's using language in a manipulative way. If someone is less sensitive to criticism they're going to be more willing to accept it. If someone is more sensitive to criticism they're goi…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 09:11 PM
-2

Ego is a person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance. They feel negative emotions because they feel like their sense of self is being attacked. All these things are interrelated.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 08:20 PM
–

Validity for your counterargument to my post.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 08:03 PM
–

Because in order for the example you made to have any validity, we'd have to account for the variables that effect the results in both genders, and we'd have to compare men to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 07:57 PM
0

I disagree, I think sensitivity to criticism is a bad thing, it means you have a high ego. Sensitivity to criticism specifically means that you're less likely to self-reflect. If someone is unaffected by criticism, it means they're more able to think logically without letting their emotions / ego cloud their response. I think the way you're using language doesn't make any sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 07:48 PM
–

Do you think women are unconcerned with making men uncomfortable by approaching them/getting rejected?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 07:37 PM
1

I think women's desire for social cohesion ties into their sensitivity, and ties into their people pleasing tendencies, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 07:34 PM
1

I know you are. Plenty of things are obvious, and also uncomfortable. A lot of women do not find my take obvious. I think that laughing at the obviousness of it is a way to avoid reflecting on the uncomfortable way it makes you feel. It's a way to try and shame me for trying to have the conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 07:23 PM
7

I think your dismissive irony might be a defense mechanism to disengage from an uncomfortable truth.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 06:59 PM
-1

The nature of my post makes it so that any disagreements will be seen as "proving my point". That's a weighted position to start from, so I hope men will be cognizant of that. This post is about women, so they have every right to make it about themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 06:56 PM
1

Would you care to expand on how you think they're pretentious?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 06:46 PM
5

I'm sometimes wary of trusting self-report studies because we're often not the best judges of ourselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 06:42 PM
1

I think men should have more self-respect and stop infantilizing women.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 06:40 PM
2

You entered the ring when you made the comment. The other person entered the ring and put you on the ropes. I think it's a bit soon for you to be on the ropes, but that's me thinking that the effectiveness of his counterblow is an exaggeration, it's not an issue of the metaphor being used inappropriately.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 05:57 PM
3

"Ten percent luck, twenty percent skill Fifteen percent concentrated power of will Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain And a hundred percent reason to remember the name" Mike Shinoda
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 09:32 PM
1

And what makes them worth it?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 06:06 AM
1

When did I say I require winning to enjoy board games? Once again yall are doing this all-or-nothing thing. If winning wasn't important, we wouldn't keep score. Competitiveness is an element of the enjoyment of board games, just like validation is an element of the enjoyment of sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/25 07:24 PM
5

Perhaps. There's some degree of that. There's also some degree of women being more passive in general. Also, I've definitely met women who essentially say, "I didn't like him at all at first. He had to convince me to like him."
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/25 03:56 PM
4

Well, say I approach a woman at a concert, we have a conversation, and I leave to go to the bathroom or get a drink. When I get back, I can't really expect the women to approach me to talk more. It's often going to be on me to approach again and continue conversing.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/25 03:49 PM
3

oh, well I 100% agree with that point
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 02:02 PM
0

I have very low emotionality. That's why I waste time on Reddit scoring cheap dopamine hits through logic and language. I don't cry. I don't often feel sad. I feel weak emotional connections with people. And I'm lonely. I wish I was more emotional. I envy it. Which... come to think of it, is an emotion. 🤔 But, I wouldn't throw the baby out with the bathwater if I were you. Blankness is no solution. <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 08:10 AM
0

We feel things all the time that are very real. We run from our feelings because our feelings make us feel bad. When our feelings make us feel bad, we find coping mechanisms. When we find coping mechanisms, it's like a big knot that needs to be untangled. Therapists help us untangle that knot. Solutions don't stick without the internal motivation which powers them.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 07:47 AM
64

Stop, you're embarrassing yourself. Good therapists don't offer much advice, and don't offer much validation. Good therapists know how to ask the right questions to get you to work through complex emotions you otherwise push down. They're tools to help you figure things out on your own without telling you what to think. Unfortunately, not all therapists are like this. You might have to go through a few before you find a good one. The comments are right, that response from the therapist was very …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 07:18 AM
-2

I don't understand the point you're trying to make.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 05:41 AM
1

I'll respond to whatever I want to respond to. Especially if you're making presumptions about me.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 10:12 PM
10

I think you're definitely overly optimistic and missing a few variables. It's not just about being a good man. A lot of women desire proactive men who are masculine to some degree.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 03:50 PM
2

Can't I just want to be good at sex for the love of the game? I don't have to be a sex worker to think sex is beautiful, because I consider sex to be an art form. I want to be a good artist. It's something I value. I also want to enjoy sex, but enjoyment is a fast, soon fading hit of dopamine. Validation lasts longer.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 02:33 AM
1

Yeah, I'm with you on that.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 02:26 AM
2

And you're basing this character description of me off what, exactly? You mistake my honesty and literalism for full-throated endorsement. I think that chasing casual sex strictly for validation will inevitably turn you into a sociopath. I think sex is a skill. It's a skill I would like to be good at. If I'm not good at it I'm going to feel bad, and if I am good at it I'll get a little high. There's never going to be a time where validation is not going to appeal to me in sex. That doesn't mean …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 02:13 AM
1

That's part of the reason, yeah. Part of the reason is to enjoy the board game, part of the reason is to try and get a dopamine ego boost.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 01:44 AM
1

Come on now. There's a stereotype that men are more silent than women. One of the biggest complaints I hear from women is that men aren't expressive enough. Don't hit me with the ad hom "OP may be speaking for himself", that's not fair, I was basing it off of societal stereotypes.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 01:39 AM
1

So, you're telling me it's not normal to get an ego boost when the person you sleep with responds positively? People get an ego boost for a lot less. I get an ego boost when I win a board game. It's meaningless outside of its context, but people generally want to feel like they're sexually competent.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 01:35 AM
1

I'll ask you the same thing I asked her. Do you think there's something inherent in the way both genders act during sex that makes sex more validating to men? The fact that women orgasm less. The fact that they tend to be more vocal, and expressive, and vulnerable, and show their pleasure. The fact that they "transform" more in the heat of the moment, as opposed to men who are more stoic and more likely to just silently nut.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 12:15 AM
1

Oh, okay, gotchu, I understand what you're saying now.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 12:09 AM
1

A. I said probably. B. I think one of the main reasons (both men and women) like performing oral is because of the validation it gives them. C. If a man is visually stimulated then it's a given that he's receiving pleasure, if you wanna get pedantic. D. The original question only gave a choice between orgasm and validation.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 12:05 AM
1

How does making her cum not fall under feeling validated and desired by her attraction?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 12:01 AM
-2

Wasn't one of the answers I gave you tho...
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 09:53 PM
1

Does making her cum not give you an extra boost of validation?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 09:51 PM
-1

It's interesting that you've never thought about your bf's attraction to you during sex. Do you think the difference in how both sexes experience sex might contribute to this? Women are often more vocal and vulnerable during sex. They'll moan, they'll have body spasms, they'll get increasingly wet. Men often just have a boner and then silently cum and it's almost just taken as a given. There's less of a "transformation". Obviously people vary in how they have sex, but do you see what I'm getting…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 09:48 PM
1

I never said that men don't get pleasure.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 09:39 PM
-2

Why are you inserting a bunch of "only"s into the conversation? I don't know why everyone does this all-or-nothing thing. There's plenty of ways we receive validation. Sex is one of them. It's not the only way. But it's important.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 09:38 PM
-7

It's normal to want validation. It's a huge reason both men and women have sex. However, it's taboo to say that you want validation. I think you're virtue signaling.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 09:34 PM
0

Then your answer would probably be validation. Or maybe, visuals...
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 09:27 PM
8

Maybe. But, I think sex is a bit more validating for men than it is for women. Is sexual validation important to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 06:42 PM
11

He said "hearing a hot woman moaning your name in ecstasy" and you brought up the male orgasm. It's not about the orgasm. That's what you're not understanding. It's about validation. It's about the validation of inspiring sexual desire in women.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 06:17 PM
1

My guess would be like 5%
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 12:38 AM
1

Do you also have a blank mind and poor memory?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 12:33 AM
3

If she rates herself too high she'll get pushback from men. If she rates herself too low she'll get pushback from women.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 11:09 PM
1

It's not a joke, it's a cop out. They reject the ranking system because it makes them feel bad. The other option is to provide an honest ranking and not give a fuck what others think.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 09:01 PM
1

I could be way off, but I think the fact that you're aggressively white is going to work in your favor. You're giving Peter Parker. Usually, my impression of dating apps is you get matched a point or two below what you are. So, if you're a high 7 i could see you getting matches with 5s, 6s, and 7s. I'm not sure where u live, but that's going to have an effect, for sure. Feel free to hit my DMs and let me know how it goes. I like data haha.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 10:56 PM
1

I don't understand why leftists don't just use, "Someone who looks like they have XX chromosomes" as the answer to the "What is a woman" question.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 12:33 AM
7

I'm sorry but there's no way you're average. Most rating subs tend to rate laughably low. I think you're more like a 7.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 12:25 AM
2

Interesting. Thanks for answering my questions.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 09:18 PM
1

Okay, got it. So, you're content with not being in a relationship. If, one day, the fact that you weren't in a relationship made you sad, would that come as a surprise to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 09:10 PM
2

You can virtue signal all you want about what an incompetent idiot this hypothetical man is, but it's not addressing my point. It doesn't matter if the directions address all of it, he could still have anxiety over it, right? And if genuine anxiety is the reason why he doesn't want to boil the pasta, it wouldn't be apt to call that incompetence "weaponized", right?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 08:43 PM
1

He's not "pretending not to know the directions are written on the box". More likely, he has anxiety about fucking up the directions. "What if the pasta turns out too hard?" Etc. etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 08:29 PM
–

You're spot on but somehow you don't understand what a big ask this is. "Just be a fantasy. Simple."
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 08:24 PM
5

Yeah, getting people to acknowledge it's a problem is already hard enough. I'm not quite sure of all that could be done to help, but more empathy for struggling men, and encouraging third places where men could meet women away from the apps would probably go a long way.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 08:16 PM
2

Wait a second... When you were a child, did you have any thoughts about what your relationship status might be like in the future? Did you think... I imagine myself in a relationship and it'd be sad if I wasn't in one? Or were you completely fine with the concept of being alone your entire life?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 08:04 PM
4

But, here's the part you're not acknowledging. OP is completely ignoring the more moderate, commonly-held take which is: If you can't get sex / a relationship, it's normal to feel sad about that. People who advocate for government intervention are a fringe minority. Most of the comments here are trying to explain to OP the difference between wanting something and feeling entitled to something. That's how these convos always go.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 07:57 PM
9

Let's go through the conversational train: A man will say, "I feel sad that I can't get sex / a relationship". A woman will say, "You're not entitled to sex / a relationship". A man will say, "I know I'm not entitled, I just want it". A woman will say, "Well, what do you want me to do about it? If it's a problem, how do you intend we SOLVE it?" A man will say, "I never asked anyone to solve it, I just want people to acknowledge that it's a normal thing to feel sad about." Eventually, when this b…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 07:53 PM
1

Well, starting the conversation at saying it needs to be "solved" is yet another strawman.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 07:17 PM
4

Y'all sound like robots when you say stuff like this. It's like arguing why good food is enjoyable. Haven't y'all ever seen a romantic movie and been like, "wow, these people really understand each other on a deep level. They're such a good fit for each other. I want something like that."
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 07:15 PM
1

And... there's a reason they brought up those two extremes. What do you think that reason might be?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 07:09 PM
7

Thank you for saying this. The knee-jerk "well you're not entitled" is just parroting a concept without understanding a concept.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 07:02 PM
12

"Poor command of the English language". Thank you, this is really what it comes down to. So many people haven't truly thought through the words and concepts they use. They simply don't understand what entitlement means.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 06:57 PM
1

I think treating your partner like a child, full stop, is infantilization. And we have different opinions about what it means to treat someone like a child. There's a lot of nuance here, and I'll definitely think about what you said. Peace.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 06:49 PM
1

Here's the distinction I'm making: It's not infantilization if your partner helps you out in areas where you're deficient. It's infantilization if they’re people pleasers, or if the relationship is reliant upon them smoothing over those deficiencies. If you didn’t remind your husband of those things he’s forgetful of, would he still love you? If your husband didn’t do those things to calm you down, would you still love him? I want to help my partner out when I can. I don’t want to feel like her …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 06:44 PM
34

👏 acting like "a woman should be forced to fuck him" is a popular opinion is a strawman 👏
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 05:26 PM
–

I don't buy for a second that women don't care if they get a life partner. They're just better at coping, and lying about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 04:44 PM
4

Just because the lack of something would be detrimental to your mental health doesn't mean someone is entitled to give it to you. A lack of romantic love also becomes detrimental to people's mental health at a certain point, so I don't think people's suffering is a good basis for what someone else is entitled to give.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 04:42 PM
0

Yeah, sure, when it IS the norm, people don't consider it infantilization. I do. I'm divergent. I think these things are a result of people not knowing what they should expect out of a partner, and not knowing what love is supposed to look like.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 04:32 PM
8

Holy strawman
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 04:22 PM
1

Well, I think a lot of people have the wrong idea about what we should get out of love, and a lot of people infantilize their partners. I know that a great deal of society does not agree with my framework, and sees these things as normal. But, I think they involve a dynamic where someone is people pleasing for the benefit of keeping peace. And, that's not love to me. I'm all for accepting people as they are, especially when they have significant shortcomings. But, both people should be responsib…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 04:13 PM
1

It's infantilization because you have low expectations of your partner, much like a parent would have low expectations of a child. For the first one: It shouldn't be the norm to expect someone to constantly calm you down. You're an adult. You can manage your emotions a little better than that. For the second one: If you have to constantly dumb things down for your partner, there's a significant power differential between y'all, which makes it harder for the more intelligent person to truly respe…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 04:04 PM
1

Don't just sidestep the choose not to / pretend not to distinction. That was the whole point of my comment. Weaponized incompetence is pretending not to.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 03:15 PM
1

I'd argue that it's fine to dumb things down if you have particular knowledge in something, but if you're always dumbing things down for your partner then there's a significant power differential between yall and yall shouldn't be in a relationship together. "Strategically picking your battles" is just code for people pleasing. You should be responsible for your own ego. Expecting people to tiptoe around it is selfish.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 03:07 PM
1

There's a difference between genuinely being incompetent, and pretending to be incompetent. Also, I'm pretty sure "boiling pasta" was meant to be one example that represents a larger idea about weaponized incompetence, I didn't think we'd be hyperfocusing on this specific example.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 10:39 PM
3

Love this response because I agree with it lol. Thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 10:17 PM
1

I think it's infantilization if one person feels like they have to "shrink themself" in order to be with you. People who infantilize others are essentially pushovers with little self-respect.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 09:36 PM
1

Why don't you agree with the framing of these things as "infantilization"?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 09:19 PM
2

"Weaponized incompetence" comes down to the man's motive. If he secretly believes that he's capable of boiling that pasta, it's weaponized. If he says "I don't know how to boil pasta" because he's filled with genuine fear and anxiety about the prospect of learning something new, that's not weaponized. That's just regular incompetence. "Weaponized incompetence" is used when a man is hiding his power level to get out of doing work. It's not applicable when he doesn't think he has the power level.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 09:17 PM
2

I think most people have ego problems these days. There's been studies done which show that women have a harder time accepting criticism than men, so I'm not sure about the idea that "most women don't have a big enough ego to matter." If your relationship dynamic works for you, then that's great. It only becomes a problem when one partner feels like they have to shrink to make room for the other. Like, there's people who will rationalize significant intelligence differences out of this sort of f…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 08:59 PM
5

Damn, that's bleak. Although I'd take issue with your use of "weaponized incompetence". I think, most of the time, if a guy doesn't know how to boil pasta... it's because he doesn't know how to boil pasta. Assuming that it's "weaponized" is just a way for women to ascribe the most malicious motives to the man. I find that "Don't attribute to malice what can be attributed to incompetence" often has a lot of truth to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 08:36 PM
–

What you're not acknowledging is that social skills are more important to a man's romantic success than they are for women, given that women take a more passive role in dating. Everyone these days is less social, because of the effect that the internet has had on us. It feels dismissive if you just say "guys need to practice their social skills" without acknowledging what I've added, because it makes it sound like guys are struggling because they have worse social skills than women. They don't h…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 08:24 PM
1

yeah u right she's more like a 6
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 04:01 AM
2

I'm not picking on her, she just happens to be an indian chick who's closer to average but ok, she might be more of a 6. It's hard to think of true celebrity 5s cause most celebrities are smokeshows.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 01:48 AM
1

lol. No it's fucking not. Average is like Mindy Kaling. <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/25 08:22 PM
4

Nihilism pilled
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/25 08:07 PM
2

I would love if men and women could just have their own individual struggles but unfortunately there's a lot of feminists who can't admit that women have privilege in any context ever.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/25 06:47 PM
5

I think you did a fine job of explaining yourself in your post. Definitely get what you mean.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 08:57 PM
1

True. Well, I guess I spoke on behalf of others because I wanted to assume what people might be thinking, because of how ridiculous I found your post. I guess it was a bit of a cheap trick to frame it as "you vs us". I'll try not to do cheap tricks like that in the future.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 08:52 PM
10

It's sort of an all-encompassing scapegoat, in much the same way the term "patriarchy" is used. It goes a little like this: Person A: "You're saying that men should do this, but women should not. Why is that?" Person B: "Because you benefit from patriarchy / my emotional labor." Person A: "Well, how do we begin to have a conversation about patriarchy / emotional labor?" Person B: "In order to have that conversation, we'd need to account for the experiences of men and women in all instances, ofte…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 07:48 PM
4

There's like three definitions of emotional labor that people use on the internet. The first definition I found was, "the mental activity required to manage or perform the routine tasks necessary for maintaining relationships and ensuring smooth running of a household or process, typically regarded as an unappreciated or unacknowledged burden borne disproportionately by women". This definition is pretty vague, but it does mention maintaining a household. Not sure what it means by "process". I be…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 07:25 PM
17

It seems like there's a lot of women who want a guy to be obsessed with them almost instantly. If that's your expectation, you run the risk of selecting for bullshitters and sociopaths who will love bomb you for sex. So many people these days don't want to wait for something real to develop. It's either a fairytale at first sight, or nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 06:04 PM
21

You would need to define emotional labor if you want us to take this post seriously.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 05:52 PM
2

Present. INTP's definitely struggle in dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 05:40 PM
1

I think it's mostly women who require the polarization for the spark, I don't think men need it to anywhere near the same degree.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 05:36 PM
2

Is this an appeal to nihilism? Nothing matters? So what? It hurts my feelings. That's what.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 05:30 PM
6

I feel like I'm speaking to someone on a different planet if you can't acknowledge the masculine elephant in the room. If I was designing a list of things to stress to men to maximize their desirability with women, "don't be an asshole" would certainly rank lower on that list than "be confident" / "be charismatic".
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 05:25 PM
9

It's very easy to think the idea of "acknowledging your privilege" is dumb whining, until you're the one who's less privileged, and people talk down to you from a place of comfortable ignorance. The problem is, the takeaway from leftist academia was that privilege is a zero sum game, when it's actually far more nuanced than that. Women have privilege. Men have privilege. They just have it in different instances, and in different ways. But, for an uncomfortable amount of women online, saying you …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 05:07 PM
10

Men exaggerate the checklist, but you're exaggerating an absurd amount in the other direction. Women certainly have more of a checklist than men have, and it's not all about looks. A lot of women, for instance, want a man whose behavior falls at least a little in line with stereotypical notions of masculinity. "Don't be an asshole and wash your dick" is reductive propaganda that you've fallen for.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 05:00 PM
1

I think OP is saying that it's a skill that can be developed. I'm not sure who the pick up artists he's referring to are though, you'd have to take that on a case by case basis.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 04:53 PM
12

Yeah, I think what you're searching for is, "it's fucking annoying when people shame you for not living up to standards that they themselves don't have to adhere to due to their privilege".
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 04:49 PM
2

Game is literally just being charming and charismatic. That's all it means. Same with "rizz". Y'all just load a bunch of negative baggage onto the word.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 04:34 PM
2

I think it's fine to have different levels of intelligence in some areas, but when it comes to logical intelligence, I personally think that's a recipe for incompatibility and power imbalance. I feel similarly about emotional intelligence.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 02:07 PM
2

That doesn't make any sense because analogies are often what art is made up of.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 01:58 PM
2

Yes, you're arguing that men are guilty of an offense "just as egregious or worse". Women do have a reason to stand up for men, and that reason would be because they care about men and their feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/25 09:46 PM
2

You're not arguing that men are just as guilty as women? That's not how it came across to me. Do you think they're just as guilty? I know you're arguing that, and I think that's a childish tit-for-tat mentality to have.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/25 07:54 PM
4

You're not arguing you are just as guilty, you're arguing men are just as guilty as women, but I already conceded that whataboutism was a bad way to describe what you're doing. Still think it's a bad argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/25 05:44 PM
4

"it’s essentially a reversal of accusation, arguing that an opponent is guilty of an offense just as egregious or worse than what the original party was accused of doing, however unconnected the offenses may be" So, this is exactly what you're doing, but maybe your point is that it's not whataboutism because OP is asking why you don't do an action, not asking you why women behave this way. Therefore, it is an attempt to explain, so I do see the meaningful distinction there, and I will take back …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/25 05:25 PM
3

whataboutism
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/25 04:39 PM
0

I don't know that the "manosphere" is growing, but an audience of resentful young incels is. A lot of these guys have never adopted these ideas of holding out for a pure virgin. These guys would jump at the chance to let a pornstar fart in their mouths. I think the body count talk is often A. virtue signaling and B. not really what resonated with these men about the handful of meatheads they followed. What they really thirsted for was someone who was going to hold women accountable in an interne…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 07:34 AM
0

A minority of loud jabronis will say they want a virgin, or say body count matters, but it's absolutely not a widespread thing when you move outside of internet echo-chambers.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 07:21 AM
1

Convenient explanation, but it's not the primary one. If women had a crystal ball that could guarantee them that their man would never cheat on them, they'd still get the ick from imagining their partner having anal sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 06:39 AM
9

Yeah, but men like having a beer and watching the game with women they have sex with. That's the difference. The things men would like to find in a friend don't contradict the things men want to find in a sexual partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 05:31 AM
9

The level of contortions women will do to avoid admitting that they desire masculinity more than men desire femininity is genuinely impressive. OP never asked if women use the term "metrosexual" so I don't know why you're bringing up that chart like you've made some sort of point. This was a complete misdirect. OP was using the term to describe a more "feminine" man. Fans of K pop and Emo are niche, they're not representative of trends outside their subcultures. Of course you don't want to talk …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 05:23 AM
10

There's a big "gender performance gap" in terms of what men and women expect of their partners, frfr
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 04:36 AM
17

"They just don't like to frame it in such terms." Ding ding ding. We have a winner. A lot of women like to virtue signal because they have a strong aversion to being seen as anything less than perfectly positive.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 04:27 AM
1

A lot of men infantilize their partners and don't even realize they're doing it. They're not totally desperate, and they want them to have a job, but that doesn't mean they have anywhere close to the same list of requirements.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 04:22 AM
4

Intelligence, yes. Education, no. I'd even argue that it's impossible to truly love someone who's not at a similar level of intelligence (emotional and logical)
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 04:12 AM
1

You're forgetting a pill color <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/25 06:19 AM
1

That's a good point. Very Betty Boop.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 08:35 PM
13

whataboutism it doesn't have to be team sports.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 08:31 PM
0

A lot of women are baffled as to why Sabrina Carpenter is not lusted after by men as much as they'd think given the way she sexualizes herself, but I think a lot of it does come down to how noticeable her makeup is. Then again, it could just be men being performative online about a female popstar. But, the makeup definitely doesn't do her any favors IMO.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 08:09 PM
13

Hey now, wait a second, this guy is describing the full spectrum of the female role, and not doing the same for the male role. I said "he makes all the money" because he included no mention of the man's financial contribution so I thought he was speaking from stereotypes, but the fact that in the majority of marriages the man still outearns the woman should factor somewhere into the calculus here, no? I think planning the first date has fuck all to do with washing the dishes 20 years down the li…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 01:30 AM
3

Well, that makes sense, because guys tend to have an easier time getting themselves off. We buy toys less because we're perfectly content with our hands.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 01:19 AM
10

Someone linked a study which showed that women masturbate way less than men across all ages.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 01:13 AM
1

Wait, so now you agree with me that it's not a principled stance? You could have just stopped there. All this other shit you're bringing into the convo is blabber. OP outlined a very specific scenario about women who are verbally against gender roles for women, but expect them of men. It's hypocritical. Obviously they can do whatever they want. Duh.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 01:09 AM
15

You conveniently left out the part where he makes all the money.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 12:03 AM
1

I don't think it's as intentional as you think. "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by ignorance."
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 10:50 PM
7

I've noticed that some women will define positive traits as an absence of a negative trait when it's convenient. So, when we're referring to women, a confident person isn't the person who walks into a room of strangers and shakes everyone's hands, it's a person who's not a shy shut-in who avoids all eye contact with people.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 10:47 PM
2

Whether people do it or not is irrelevant to my point. Of course people do things which benefit them. That doesn't make it a principled stance. It would probably benefit me to have an actual human slave. It would still be evil though.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 10:27 PM
6

I think a big part of the curriculum in grade school should focus on "logical fallacies" because people clearly struggle with that shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 10:10 PM
7

If you only agree with something because it benefits you then it's not a principled stance.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 10:07 PM
5

And? It's our right to judge them for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 10:03 PM
1

Ok, thanks, your take feels much closer to reality than the other two women who commented.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 08:30 PM
0

What does believing in a spirit have to do with knowing your worth?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 08:21 PM
1

The obese woman, or the latina woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 08:17 PM
–

How so? Men are generally hornier is not the same take as "men always want sex from any person in all circumstances".
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 08:06 PM
4

Ok, but A. I don't think he has an ugly face and B. I don't think most people at my example's weight generally want to date people who are obese.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 07:07 PM
2

Sure, it's a bell curve, but I don't understand why they made it so drastic. I feel like a distribution like this would make more sense: 1: 1% 2: 4% 3: 10% 4: 15% 5: 20% 6: 20% 7: 15% 8: 10% 9: 4% 10: 1%
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 06:40 PM
2

Agree to disagree
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 06:21 PM
1

I have no idea how they arrived at the idea that being a 6.5 places you at the top 6.66%. They rate comically low on that sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 06:20 PM
2

Truerateme is complete bullshit, and nobody should take them seriously.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 06:08 PM
0

Fair enough. It would depend on how the guy presents himself in his photos, but I do consider that more of an exception to the rule than the norm.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 06:07 PM
0

That dude would never get a match with someone who looks like that. She's a 6.5 and he's a 5.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 05:59 PM
3

I do appreciate how women judge appearance, but you're doing this weird "all or nothing" thing. I didn't try and pick a guy who was presenting himself perfectly, but I still think options in a less busted system would yield better results than literally like four obese women. Would you be able to give both the guy and the girl a rating out of 10?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 05:56 PM
2

He's a 5, and she's a 2. His looks-match would be someone who looks like this: <image> I was just trying to illustrate the options an average guy on dating apps has, but perhaps we agree?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 05:45 PM
3

I said on a dating app. On a dating app, a guy who looks like that ain't pulling a cheerleader. 💀 I shit you not, a guy who looks like this will get very few matches. He'll match with a handful of women who look like this, and maybe like 1 average woman who won't respond to him. <image> This is not even an exaggeration.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 05:27 PM
4

As much as it would make sense that women's desire for "masculine behavior" is the other side of the coin of men's desire for "feminine behavior", it's simply not true. Women get turned on by masculine behavior in a way that's not analogous to men's sexuality. The fact that femininity is so much more loosely defined than masculinity should hint at men's elasticity with it. Male sexual desire has much more to do with appearance, and then lifestyle preferences become a negotiation of power. Someon…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 05:13 PM
5

<image> What type of matches on dating apps might a guy who looks like this get? Include stock pictures.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 04:45 PM
8

You call it a competition. I call it "acknowledging your privilege". Acknowledging your privilege means you have more empathy for the group less privileged. Acknowledging your privilege doesn't mean you have no problems, and it doesn't mean you have the same problems. When a man goes to a restaurant with a woman and the waiter addresses the man first, that's the privilege of being treated with more respect and authority. Would a guy acknowledging his privilege in that instance be "making it a co…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 01:23 PM
1

I think being willing to let more women experience domestic violence is a better trade-off than living in a racist society where we prejudge people based on the color of their skin.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/25 03:22 AM
1

Never said that. But Ben Shapiro turned into a meme cause he looked like a dork critiquing WAP. Also, he notoriously said he didn't think rap was real music. This guy isn't just saying he likes classical, he's asserting its superiority above other genres in a closed-minded way.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/25 04:45 AM
1

Bro. No. Once again. I was talking about behavior. I don't like beards or ladies who look masculine.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/25 04:34 AM
2

A trans person would exhibit physical differences, right? If they could make a vagina indistinguishable from the real deal, sure, I'd date them. But, I was talking about behavioral differences.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/25 04:25 AM
9

Bro, once again, imma reiterate, the song is called Wet Ass Pussy. The pussy is wet. In my opinion, that's female pleasure being put up front and center. Whores in the house, ya know. And, I'll leave it there.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/25 10:38 PM
2

Women claim that confidence and competency are traits that everybody should have, and then proceed to select for men more confident and competent than themselves because it makes them feel safe. I'm not saying that it's all women, or even a majority of women, but it's a significant enough portion such that I can't help feeling objectified sometimes...
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/25 10:32 PM
9

You realize that a lot of the joy we get from sex is about the validation of being a good sex partner, right? That's universal. There's nothing wrong or anti-feminist about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/25 10:28 PM
0

Imagine not, when they frequently show more quality and innovation than other genres My favorite quote from Roger Ebert goes something like... "it's not what the art is about... it's how it's about it."
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/25 10:16 PM
5

Oh look, I found Ben Shapiro's alt...
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/25 10:14 PM
10

Yeah, they're flipping the negative connotation of whore into a positive. They're taking pride in it. What's wrong with that?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/25 10:12 PM
11

I honestly think the only reason you think WAP is more objectifying than Juno is because it's more sexually explicit. The fact that you associate more sexual imagery with, "oh, surely, a woman couldn't possibly like this and get pleasure out of it" is part of the problem. The ladies of WAP are actually showing far more sexual agency than Sabrina Carpenter is in Juno. "If you love me right, then who knows? I might let you make me Juno". She's saying she'll "let him" as if it's some sort of reward…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/25 10:07 PM
2

You don't need to care about masculinity or try to be masculine in order to be masculine. I don't know if you're imagining some sort of Andrew Tate thing but that's not really what I was describing. I understand if you don't subscribe to any notions of masculinity, I don't really either, but I still feel like a lot of women hold rigid ideas of what it means. The societal notion is someone who can take charge of situations. I also think some women tend to lump confidence and competence in with ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/25 09:15 PM
1

When you say you're turned off by masculinity, what does that mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/25 08:04 PM
1

Of course it's your opinion. Your opinion is valuable. Thank you.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/25 04:02 PM
1

What does it mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 08:34 PM
1

By "dominance" I'm referring to confidence and assertiveness. I sort of thought that was obvious.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 06:23 PM
1

I thought "luck of the draw" would have explained it. But, now that I think of it, maybe it was because you indicated that the question really resonated with you, and your response was more in-depth, so I thought you'd be a good person to share additional thoughts with.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 04:07 PM
2

lol, it wasn't supposed to be an attack. i wasn't arguing with you or accusing you of not having empathy for men, I was just offering a perspective I have. luck of the draw, i guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 03:58 PM
2

I think that's the norm for most women. Thank you for your honest response.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 03:01 PM
2

If you're with a man, I hope you tell him that, because that's one of the most romantic things a man can hear
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 05:56 AM
1

I'm not trying to say you implied that, it was just a separate observation I was adding to the conversation
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 05:39 AM
1

Like, his looks perhaps. Or, maybe his personality, I dunno, you tell me. You said it was cool if he acts like one of the girls so long as he's attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 05:20 AM
1

But, why mannish? What does that mean? Being entitled or bratty or shit-testing doesn't sound mannish. It seems like your idea of what it means to be mannish would have to revolve around only the worst aspects of masculinity
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 05:14 AM
3

Optimus Prime is wild 😂 "even though he looks like a truck" 💀 I guess that makes sense. So, "masculine" characteristics are generally a plus, but they're not a necessity if the guy compensates in other ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 05:09 AM
1

aw nuts, good catch
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 04:45 AM
1

Interesting, can you elaborate on how women these days give you the ick?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 04:39 AM
1

Your answer was different than that one. You said you wouldn't be able to find someone arousing if they didn't act masculine. The person you linked said the opposite. Yes, I have an agenda, aka a set of beliefs. I didn't realize it was against the rules to debate in the "question for women" tag. I didn't even technically debate you, I just asked you a question and offered my perspective on a blind spot that logically flows from the topic we were discussing.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 02:23 AM
0

I asked a question with a hypothesis in mind, and I wanted to see if it revealed something about the way men and women experience sexual arousal. If you think it was a "gotcha", that's because it was. This is a debate sub. It doesn't mean I'm being bad faith. It'd be bad faith if I claimed you were saying something that you never did. Sort of like what you just did to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 01:59 AM
0

I never said any of this bullshit you're trying to load into the conversation. You just sound defensive.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 01:38 AM
1

Ok, but you'd be hard pressed to make any moral claims about such behavior. I think it's puritanical to consider that disgusting.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 01:03 AM
0

Hmmm, dope, sounds super interesting. I love having water chakra.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 12:32 AM
1

imma be honest, i hardly know what the fuck having a nurturing presence means. I always feel like I have to grasp at straws when I describe "feminine" traits because they're so much less rigidly defined than "masculine" traits
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 12:08 AM
4

That's because women are given more space to be masculine than men are given space to be feminine. Guys don't typically consider it an "ick" when women fix things.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 11:50 PM
5

Okay, but I don't understand how those traits are gendered. It sounds reductive, but it genuinely feels to me like a lot of women define masculinity as "someone more competent than me. His competence makes me feel safe and protected".
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 10:36 PM
1

Why is creativity included in your view of femininity? A lot of our greatest artists have been men. But, maybe it's a case where more women are creative, but more men occupy the extreme ends of creativity.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 10:31 PM
1

These traits are valuable for a person to have, but I'm not picking a person based on how valuable they are, I'm picking them based on how they match my personality. It's interesting that you seem to define these traits as the opposite of whatever the consequences of lacking the trait entirely would be. I define the trait based on the benefits of what having an aptitude for the trait would be. I'm more likely to think a woman who wants a "dominant" man wants someone to lead them around. It makes…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 10:12 PM
1

Okay, but I think there's a difference between being decisive and driven and being chronically indecisive. I don't think most people are decisive and driven. Most people want to make enough money to live a comfortable life and have enough time for leisure. Most people don't even like their jobs. The issue I have is when women try and frame having these traits so high up on their list as something we should all want regardless of gender because they're just universally good traits. But, from my p…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 09:41 PM
3

Gotchu, that makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 09:28 PM
2

I saw Pride & Prejudice for the first time this year for its anniversary. Shit was gas. Kiera Knightly does this thing where she puts her tongue to the roof of her mouth when she laughs. 😩 Gotta check out Atonement next.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 09:27 PM
1

Ok, so what's your idea of a high class masculine man?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 09:20 PM
2

For sure, I think most men appreciate that dynamic
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 09:13 PM
5

Okay, and that's totally fine, but don't you see how this could lead to a blind spot when women try and empathize with the male dating perspective? A lot of women are not just looking for a best friend who looks good and has some things in common with them. A lot of women are looking for all that plus someone who's suitably masculine. There's a whole other barrier to arousal. Men may have a preference for feminine women, but it's not a barrier to arousal in this same sort of way. So, it's very e…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 09:11 PM
3

yeah, but he's so flighty and unpredictable. He also has moments of tenderness.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 09:00 PM
2

I definitely mean decisive and driven.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 08:45 PM
1

Fair enough! Thanks for offering your perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 08:33 PM
3

Well, gender is a social construct, but there's a societal perception of what masculinity means and I think changing tires and fixing things falls into that.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 08:32 PM
8

It's partially selection bias, partially a lack of introspection, and partially virtue signaling
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 08:29 PM
1

By, "acts like one of the girls" I mean someone who acts like a stereotypical gay man (emphasis on stereotypical).
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 08:27 PM
6

I think Adam Driver in Girls is pretty cat-like, but he's more like a masculine cat. Daniel Radcliffe has cat energy.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 08:26 PM
1

Well, here's where we disagree because you seem to be demonizing people for expressing sexuality in a way that doesn't align with the way you view it. What's wrong with two consenting adults wanting to have casual sex? What's morally wrong about the belief: "hey, I don't know anything about you, but you're hot, and that makes me want to see what you look like when I fuck you."
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 08:21 PM
1

Oh, okay, that makes sense. Thank you for clarifying. Your response is in contrast to what I think the norm for men is, and any opinions which could challenge my perception on this are valuable.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 08:10 PM
2

My apologies, I seem to be having a hard time communicating effectively. I wasn't implying anything accusatory with that comment, maybe the italicized 'you' wasn't the best choice. I think people tend to have ideas about certain behaviors and how they align with gender, so that's all I was getting at. Wanted the conversation to be open instead of rooted around a strict definition of masculinity.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 08:05 PM
3

If I had known half the comments would treat my examples as some sort of hard definition, I wouldn't have worded it this way. Tbh, I mainly did it to pad out the prompt so I wouldn't get my post flagged for insufficient content. If I'd have included things like "ambition" or "competence" I would have gotten a barrage of women saying "are you saying that women aren't ambitious or competent???" The point of the question is to reveal if the perception of a man acting like a man plays a roll in wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 07:45 PM
1

I didn't just say behavior. I said "gendered behavior".
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 07:12 PM
1

Is there not a societal perception that men do yard work more, and therefore it's seen as masculine?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 07:11 PM
10

Thank you for getting straight to the point and living in reality instead of doing a bunch of obfuscation and hand-wringing. If I say "masculine" I'm going to lose a certain percent of women because they're going to assume I'm talking about hyper-masculinity. Partially because they take regular masculinity for granted. Like, just a guy knowing how to change a tire or fix things around the house. They don't notice if a man is masculine, but they'll notice when he isn't. It becomes more clear when…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 07:10 PM
3

It's not my idea of masculinity. It's a societal perception of masculinity. It was just an example, you're meant to respond based on what masculinity means to you. Are you friends with any people who aren't decisive?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 06:53 PM
1

Roids might make you seem more masculine, but they shrink your dick, so it's sort of a wash
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 06:34 PM
1

A. I think it's attractive to women both for aesthetic reasons, and because it signals masculinity. B. I don't think a woman doing a "manly" thing has the opposite effect because I think men's sexuality works differently than woman's. This is what I was attempting to explore by asking these questions. I think a man who is into sewing dresses, or ballet dancing, is going to be more divisive to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 06:13 PM
2

I'm not asking you what you like. Im asking what turns you on. What percentage of your arousal is based on physical appearance, and what percentage of your arousal is based on gendered behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 05:58 PM
0

I don't have data. I just have my belief that women tend to expect men to do yard work more, and this leads to a societal perception that it's masculine.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 05:39 PM
-1

Yes, because she's a hot woman. Sydney Sweeney is into car restoration and that actually makes her more attractive in the eyes of men. However, I think that's because men are primarily turned on visually, whereas women tend to be turned on by a combination of gendered appearance and gendered behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 05:33 PM
1

So, would your answer be no? I'm asking... from your perception of what femininity means, is a woman acting feminine something that arouses you in a similar way that feminine appearance does?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 05:28 PM
1

At what point did I say I thought women washing dishes is hot?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 05:23 PM
0

Do you think it'd be a silly question if it was gender flipped and asked to women?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 05:20 PM
0

Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 04:56 PM
-1

There's a societal perception that it's masculine.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 04:53 PM
0

Ok, cool, that's why I clarified all this in my post. Thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 04:50 PM
2

If you had to put a percentage on it, what percentage of your boner would you say is based on feminine appearance, and what percentage is based on feminine behavior?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 04:45 PM
0

What percentage of your boner is based on feminine appearance, and what percentage of your boner is based on feminine behavior? The meaning is based on your perception of what femininity means. If you don't believe in the concept of feminine behavior, say 0%.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 04:44 PM
1

I'm asking about what gives you a boner. What percentage of it is feminine appearance, and what percentage of it is feminine behavior?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 04:42 PM
1

What do you mean when you say "most men who are straight are attracted to femininity". Do you mean the appearance of femininity? As in, looking like a woman. Because, that's not what I was asking. I was asking about the "behavior of femininity".
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 04:38 PM
-3

You're lying if you're saying that it's entirely about aesthetics. That's part of it, sure, but it's also about his behavior being viewed as masculine.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 04:33 PM
1

I was essentially saying, "whatever your perception of what femininity is.... is it a turn on?" I was not making a statement about what I believe femininity to be. The point is to ask if "gendered behavior" (whatever that means) is a prerequisite for arousal in men.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 04:30 PM
-1

I'm asking what you think they are. I based my post from a societal perception of what people think of when they think of femininity, not from my own opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 04:22 PM
1

What are feminine traits?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 04:18 PM
-1

Hmmm, it's almost like what constitutes femininity is super ambiguous, but what constitutes masculinity is much more concrete.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 04:15 PM
0

But, this is exactly the point of why I asked this question. Masculinity is much more rigidly defined than femininity is. I don't subscribe to any of this bullshit, that's why I put "femininity" in quotes.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 04:12 PM
1

Well, how do you feel about a woman who sexualizes a man doing yard work?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 04:09 PM
11

I think it has more to do with how gendered behavior affects both genders sexuality. Men aren't typically like, "the way you bake that cake gets me so hard. your nurturing presence makes me horny." However, you'll hear women say that a man is hot when he's doing physical labor. A man is hot when he takes charge. Gendered behavior triggers arousal in women in a way it simply doesn't for men. Women read erotica so much because it gives more context to the man's behavior than porn does.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 03:26 PM
0

"I mentioned my race because..." proceeds to not explain why you mentioned your race. Something that's hard for people to wrap their head around is that fear is actually not a good justification for prejudice. This same argument could be used to justify someone crossing to the other side of the street when they see a black person. Why couldn't you just treat people on an individual basis instead of like a collection of stereotypes? Are you that poor a judge of character?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 03:00 PM
1

Sure. I'm willing to bite that bullet.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 02:37 PM
7

Yes, it's because women care about gendered behavior far more than men do. "Acting like a man" is important to sexual arousal, just as looking like a man is. Men are basically just turned on by feminine appearance. They may have a preference for how their partner behaves, but it's not a turn on in the same way it is for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 02:01 PM
1

Yes. Good job following along.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 01:55 PM
1

I'm not arguing that women should have an aversion to black men. I'm using a comparison to expose a double standard about bisexual men.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 01:51 PM
0

I don't really understand how you being a black woman is relevant. Is that supposed to make you less racist than if a white woman had said it?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 01:49 PM
1

It's not racist if you don't want to date black people because of the way they look. It's racist if you don't want to date black people because of the way you think they're going to act.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 01:43 PM
4

I'd argue that they're all somewhere on the bisexual spectrum, yeah
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 01:41 PM
2

I don't really understand the point you're making. How is that a counter to what I said? They probably wouldn't want to date them, but I think they'd prefer if they weren't racist in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 07:48 AM
9

well, I think most people would view that as racist, but at least you're logically consistent
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 07:42 AM
9

I like that album art because it feels like a contradiction. Is there something degrading about being an object? Yes. Is there something fun and sexy about it? Also yes. People have been arguing about whether it's satire or genuine but I actually think it's both. That's the duality of women. I just find it really provocative and I like the discussion it's generated. Sorry for going off topic, I just wanted to get this take off.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 07:39 AM
7

It's not irrelevant if the point of the post is about the reasons behind women's aversion to bisexual men. This would be like if someone made a post about why certain people think cilantro tastes like soap, and someone was like "the reasons behind people's aversion to cilantro is irrelevant, people eat what they want to eat, GOSH!"
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 07:27 AM
9

Well, it's pretty much common sense, but women don't like to admit it because it would make people empathize with the struggles of men and take away some of the power they get through victimhood. If this is common sense, there's only a little more dot connecting you have to do to realize that women care about gendered behavior way more than men do.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 07:19 AM
–

and black men have a higher risk of domestic violence. should women evade them on those grounds?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 07:05 AM
24

I love how stereotyping is frowned upon with everyone else but with bisexual men it's "oop, he could be gay!" "oop, he could have AIDs!" "oop, he could cheat on me!"
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 07:00 AM
2

And you have opinions on this political media you consume? Certainly you have opinions enough to form arguments. You are not apolitical. Someone who's apolitical does not consume political media. They don't have opinions. They don't give a fuck.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 01:12 AM
1

You just said you consume hours of political media every day
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/25 10:50 PM
1

So... you're not apolitical then, you're just using a weird definition
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/25 02:58 PM
2

Oh my god, I wish I could upvote this a thousand times
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/25 02:54 PM
23

I feel like there's a degree of satire to the album art.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/25 02:29 PM
9

You realize that 50-60% is a huge percentage, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/25 03:46 AM
9

Because the men here, or "incels" if that's what you're getting at, would never say this shit in person. That's why the do it online. These guys are shy. Meek. Not very bold. Women like light misogyny so long as the man is confident, masculine, and it benefits her.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/25 03:37 AM
1

Well, the difference is the materialism and prestige, no? Princesses are unbelievably wealthy. They're pampered. They're important. And... you should feel important, just not THE FUCKING 👸 OH MY GOD HER SHIT DOESNT STINK. It just feels like a narcissistic fantasy to me. Can you at least see why men would be wary of red flags that might spring from entitlement if a woman was speaking like this? You need to feel like you're important, but you also need to feel like a normal human, and recognize ho…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 10:35 PM
-1

Isn't it more romantic to feel like a special person, than to feel like a princess?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 10:26 PM
1

Umm... it's literally saying you want to be treated like royalty. Did your boyfriend buy you a golden tiara? Pornstars are literally so good at sex they're essentially sexual athletes. It's their job. Expecting sex to be at that level with your partner is unrealistic. It'd be one thing if you owned the hyperbolic language and said, "yeah, it's hyperbolic. It's supposed to be hyperbolic. I know he's not literally going to give me a tiger on a gold leash. I just want him to make me feel like a pri…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 08:14 PM
1

Being kind is something attainable. "Princess treatment" is a fantasy. You're setting yourself up for disappointment and entitlement. Princess treatment is a bottomless pit that can never be satiated. It'd be like if a guy was like "I expect my woman to fuck me like a pornstar." And then the woman was like hold on... And then the guy was like, "well, what's the difference between good sex, and pornstar sex? Seems like the same thing to me." You're using hyperbolic language and then acting like y…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 07:55 PM
2

That's the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 07:25 PM
3

Is claiming that dating apps are clearly worse for men than woman an example of the oppression olympics?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 04:36 PM
6

This is such an unempathetic vilification of men. Just because a man wants to fuck you doesn't mean he doesn't see you as a friend. Yes, men experience jealousy, sadness, and frustration when they have an unrequited crush on someone. No, men can't all shut of these emotions on a dime: We're not robots. It's human to feel these emotions, and sometimes they're hard to get over. I don't give a fuck what redpill guys have to say about how well guys can control their emotions.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 07:46 PM
2

How do yall continue to get this so wrong? It's really not hard at all. They like the woman. They like hanging out with her. They want to fuck the woman. They just can't deal with the emotions involved with unrequited attachment. Jealousy, depression, romantic daydreaming. Why was the man's mental toll not factored into this?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 07:29 PM
5

You get it! Some empathetic responses from women, love to see it
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 06:01 AM
2

I'm from Southern California. You're definitely an extreme outlier amongst women. Most women would not get in a fight to help protect a random man. I think a fair amount of men would help protect a random woman from an attack. But, I don't think a man should be shamed for not risking his safety. I'm trying to apply a degree of nuance here. Acts of heroism should be respected for the sacrifice they are, and not shrugged off as the norm. People freeze up when they get scared. It's human.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 08:11 PM
3

Well, it's literally hero behavior. Definitely goes above and beyond "basic human decency".
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 07:53 PM
3

So, you're willing to risk getting beat up in order to help a stranger?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 07:44 PM
4

This isn't exactly what I see men arguing. Men's sentiment is that having options for people to date is better than having no options for people to date. And then women will claim that their options are the equivalent of no options, and then we're back to men suck.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 03:02 AM
33

You're exaggerating how exaggerated it is. It's not an uncommon sentiment to see when you're looking online in women's spaces. Just today I saw an Instagram post that said, "Male loneliness epidemic? Sorry women don't want to hang out with racist incels." It makes people feel better to act like the people who suffer deserve it. I've never heard someone say taco bell is authentic Mexican food.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 02:30 AM
2

Okay, but all of this is just a "no duh" statement when applied to both genders. People want a partner who is going to make them happier. Of course. However, women take this obvious statement, make it gendered, and then grandstand about how men just suck more than women. When they're called out on being misandrist, they'll play coy about the subtext of their statement. But it's like... why are you saying something so obvious if you're not trying to imply that men provide less satisfaction for wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 02:04 AM
1

I guess I just don't understand the difference between being a utility and being an object. If you expect a man to earn more than you, or be the "leader", you're objectifying him, full stop. He's a success object, whereas women are typically seen as objects of beauty. This is the problem with black and white notions of privilege. Is it a privilege that there's more of an expectation for men to be leaders? Yes. Is it a privilege that there's less of an expectation for women to be leaders? Yes. Ad…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 12:18 AM
3

What element of privilege are you referring to? I didn't understand that part.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 11:54 PM
6

I think I agree with that. One question I wanted to ask you is that... do you think males uniquely have a lack of identity, or do you just think that they're the sex that encounters less romance as a result of it? Because, personally, I think a lot of women are just as identity-less, only men are more willing to accept it. A lot of men accept it because they have no idea what they're supposed to look for in a relationship. Generally, I think people should look for a partner who's similar in key …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 11:48 PM
19

Well, it's also the fact that at a certain point having a more unique identity makes it harder to find someone like you. Stupid people with generic interests / values will appeal to other stupid people with generic interests / values. There's just more people like that in society.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 11:34 PM
4

Sure, I'm just speaking to the extent to which women freak out about being rated based on their looks, or being seen as anything other than "amazing" off rip. I understand why women are more insecure, but it's not a realistic mindset to have. I don't even find it inherently more romantic.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 04:51 PM
5

Right? These gestures don't actually correlate with how much the guy likes you, they could just as easily correlate with how performative he is.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 04:41 PM
6

Couldn't this be solved by ditching the average / exceptional frame and focusing on similarities? I wouldn't feel bad about being average if we're average together. I want my partner to be unique to me. So, that's a way that "average" and "special" can co-exist. She's special, because it's rare to find someone similar to you. She's average because she's like you.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 04:38 PM
6

well, for one, having "equality" be synonymous with one gender's movement is inherently problematic off rip.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/25 03:54 PM
2

"sexual access" sounds so weird. if i was to go off what I hear on the internet I'd think women fucking hate sex 💀
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/25 07:51 PM
4

women like gendered appearance, but so do men. additionally, women like gendered behavior much more than men do.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/25 02:57 PM
21

Can we please stop this myth that men are natural-born providers.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/25 05:58 PM
2

I might be being a little dismissive. I think some men consider the reason they so often list online (being labeled a creep) but I still think the far more common reasoning is fear of rejection. If I think there's a strong element of cope, I'm gonna have a hard time trusting self-report studies. I'd also like to make it clear I'm only criticizing men for being a bit dishonest on this issue, I'm not criticizing them for not approaching. I'll also allow room that I might be wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/25 03:35 PM
3

No, a lot of it comes down to fear of rejection. Men give a lot of cope answers on this because they don't want to look weak. We live in an increasingly antisocial society as a result of the internet. But, it will always rub me wrong if women chastise men for this, because they say that from a place of privilege (not having the same expectations to approach).
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/25 03:07 PM
1

Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 09:38 PM
5

Not so fast. I wouldn't pin "the male loneliness epidemic" on misanthropic redpill guys. The MLE is moreso a story of an isolated society that runs downstream from the internet. Last I checked, sociopaths do well with women. Also, women are guilty of this behavior as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 08:58 PM
17

Sociopath behavior, frfr
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 08:35 PM
3

I'm the same, but I do think this is an outlier perspective. It's ridiculously common for a guy to be like... we were vibing, having a great conversation, genuinely getting to know each other, but then... afterwards she said we didn't have a "spark". And then I'll ask the guy if he was flirting and he'll usually say no. You'll see this same scenario posted ad nauseam on the dating subreddit. Women typically think that a guy who isn't flirting doesn't like her, and will view that guy as a friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 07:45 PM
2

That's super fair.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 07:23 PM
3

I know, I appreciate it. I don't mind banter, but I'm way better at it over text than in person. Not too good at teasing. From my experience, it seems like a prerequisite for most women. Thank you for sharing your perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 07:22 PM
1

This is a misandrist screed
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 06:37 PM
4

I know that, but it just sounds like what you're describing is a recipe for having sex with people you don't care about. The bike crashes out at the bottom of the hill, and then you're like ew, why did I even choose this colorway.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 06:25 PM
4

I think a lot of guys will develop romantic feelings through similarities, vibe, chemistry... Some guys are just looking for a best friend that they get to fuck.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 05:44 PM
5

I find it a bit strange to be figuring out whether you like someone while simultaneously signaling to them that you like them. It's like test driving a new bike by taking it down a steep hill. The momentum is naturally gonna cloud the analysis part of your brain. But, I'm probably a neurotic guy who overthinks.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 05:38 PM
6

Does banter and teasing factor into the equation? Cause that's largely how I see it too. "Sexualized energy" is just a nebulous thing to define, unfortunately. I disagree that most women would not like the first guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 05:30 PM
4

What do you imagine when you say "flirting"?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 05:12 PM
3

Flirting is sort of a broad category now that I think about it. Includes banter, teasing, compliments, and sexual innuendo. There's an element of plausible deniability so it's a hard thing to strictly define. I know that different women want different things but I'm asking you to generalize.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 04:54 PM
5

It can definitely take way longer than 20 minutes to know if you like someone's personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 04:22 PM
5

So... following this train of logic... could this be a strong contributor to why women so often find themselves with men who "smash and pass", and don't want commitment?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 04:00 PM
7

So, you're saying you want him to fall in love instantly. While it's technically possible that could happen, it'll be far more likely that he just wants to smash.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 03:56 PM
0

While your personal perspective is interesting, it wasn't the question that was asked. I asked which man is likely to find women more interested in him. Do you have a hunch about that?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 03:50 PM
6

Nope, makes perfect sense. You explained yourself perfectly fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 03:48 PM
4

"Both at the same time" was not an option I gave you.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 03:38 PM
13

You realize that this is a strawman tho, right? Men aren't just lonely cause they're assholes, they could just be lonely cause they're shy. And, plenty of assholes are in relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 02:26 PM
–

I also believe a primary factor behind monogamy is insecurity. I personally would be too insecure to engage in a polyamorous relationship. But I find that very different than merely commenting on another's appearance, or watching porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 11:48 AM
–

That's a good point, it's probably not a gendered thing. I consider both to be equally insecure.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 11:42 AM
–

Nope. I think this is insecure behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 11:31 AM
–

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DH4LwKjsBBP/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ== This guy comments on another girls tits in front of his girlfriend. All the replies (which are primarily women) are freaking out about it and telling him to dump his girlfriend. I... feel like I'm taking crazy pills. What's so wrong with this? You're allowed to find other people attractive, a couple that can acknowledge that with no ego seems healthy and honest to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 10:07 AM
1

It's implied in your framing if you follow the logical train. If it's not all men, and some men could make you more happy, it's not true that you're competing against the peace you experience single. You're competing against "some men". You're just trying to virtue signal that you don't like men.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 02:30 AM
2

Assuming that all men are only going to make your life worse is cynical, reductionist and sexist. Obviously I wouldn't commit to a woman who makes me less happy. I'd be happier because I'd love her.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 02:21 AM
2

We get it. You don't like men.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 02:13 AM
9

Who is telling you to date them out of pity to solve the problem? This sounds like a strawman.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 06:13 AM
-2

Ah yes... women don't like poor men because... checks notes they're scared that they're more likely to be abusers. Give me a break. If you're so stupid that you need to look at someone's bank account to make a neurotic presumption of how good a person they are then your aptitude for character assessment is in a horrible state. This post gets made all the time, and it's always a misrepresentation. The good faith argument is, "Don't select for things like confidence, and excitement, and appearance…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 05:32 AM
–

Well, I didn't comment on it cause I didn't say it. But, if you want me to, I'll say that while both analogies are hyperbolic, one is far less inflammatory and has more of a basis in fact than the other. It's well-known at this point that the average man is going to struggle to get matches on dating apps, especially when compared to the attention that women receive. The dumpster analogy is just saying that men, in general, are far worse options than women on dating apps. "Men are trash", essenti…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/25 07:49 PM
–

I think there's a few reasons women are so outnumbered on dating apps. Some of those reasons are A. Women's sexuality is often reactive, and sparked by behavior (often masculine behavior) as opposed to just visual appearance. B. Women simply don't need to go on the apps because they already receive enough attention off of them. C. Women desire casual sex less than men do. I wouldn't describe it as "an all you can eat buffet" but I'd certainly describe it as a net privilege.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/25 07:02 PM
–

Comparing a woman's experience in the online dating sphere to "getting thrown in dumpsters" is not seeing things through both perspectives. It's extremist rhetoric.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/25 06:38 PM
–

The first claim doesn't contradict my point. The second claim is just a mischaracterization. If I was being generous, I'd say that it maybe represents like 10 to 15% of the male voices here on PurplePillDebate, which is already going to give you a warped view of the overall climate. Those men are misogynists. They probably want to find someone they can connect with, they just don't believe that can happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/25 06:35 PM
–

Sounds like infantilization to me
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/25 06:14 PM
–

Ok, he's calling it a buffet, but you're framing it through the lens of "receiving unsolicited dick pics" and drinking water which could kill you. Don't you see how this is an unfair way to frame it? You're weighting it at the extreme negative end while not properly weighting the positive benefit, namely that women get vastly more opportunities to meet men and form a connection. Getting killed is a rare occurrence, but the benefits are not rare. This should be factored into how these things are …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/25 06:13 PM
–

I don't understand how this contradicts what I said.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/25 02:56 PM
–

maybe she could go with the man who respects women enough to treat them like equals, because she has principles that matter more to her than getting the most resources she can out of a man...
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/25 02:07 PM
–

It'll never happen, because when you admit you have privilege in an area it gives up some of the power you get through victimhood.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/25 02:04 PM
–

Couldn't it just reveal that... he respects women enough to treat them like equals?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/25 02:00 PM
–

How do you know men are less interested in LTRs? I think they're just as interested in LTRs, but simultaneously way more interested in casual sex. It's not an either / or, it's an "I'll take what I can get". If they don't feel a real connection with women, they'll settle for casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/25 01:57 PM
–

I've never been turned off by a woman's boobs being too small. I have, however, been turned off by a woman's boobs being too big.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 05:36 AM
7

No, the musical artist, Pitbull, who commits audio terrorism.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/25 09:54 PM
5

ChatGPT?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 05:23 AM
9

Well, maybe we could make the caveat that it depends on the intensity of the crush? If you're fantasizing about the person every day to the point where it affects your mental health, you should probably end that relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 03:56 PM
15

It's not just about his dick. It's about a pain in his chest. You're selfish for saying he should just silently suffer instead of being honest. If I can't be honest with my friends, I don't want em.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 03:38 PM
4

"Because women don't think like men and men don't think like women" is a non-answer. OP is asking why men and women think like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 01:29 PM
30

This is factual. Men tend to like women who are "one of the guys". Women generally don't like men who are "one of the girls". A lot of them have reactive sexuality, so flirtation is a must. It's frustrating because their sexuality sort of works in reverse to the way ours does. We understand we want to fuck you far before we understand if we like your personality. So, we don't need much "warming up". We're already warm. Women are the opposite.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 06:46 PM
2

You seem confused. Men are being compared to swamp water. Women are not being compared to sand. An absence of women are being compared to a desert.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 08:39 PM
6

Stop using rape and murder as a thought-terminating trump card that wipes out all nuance
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 08:22 PM
2

Women definitely like "golden retriever" men. Golden retriever men are a bit dumb, but always positive, and can get along with pretty much anyone. They're super adept socially.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 09:28 PM
5

Look, yall can't have it both ways. You can stand on business and say you only want to date straight men. But then don't pretend that women aren't attracted to gendered behavior more than men are. I think people mainly just get annoyed with the logical inconsistency.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 10:41 PM
–

But... this isn't a post about stunning beautiful people, it's a post about personality. Why are you assuming the inmates are 10s?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 01:25 PM
1

Nobody said you could negotiate attraction, the app clearly doesn't work for a lot of average looking guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 08:20 PM
1

well, what would constitute as "broken" to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 06:24 PM
-2

Because the best person you can get might not be the best person for you. "The best person you can get" seems to imply objectively good qualities. Like, Anne Hathaway has a lot of objectively good qualities. But... she probably wouldn't be able to relate to me that much. Love is about looking for qualities that specifically fit the type of person you are, not just looking for the best. "The best" is a bottomless pit that never ends.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 05:38 PM
-4

I'm glad it worked out for you but "get the best person you can get" sounds shallow to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 05:19 PM
-3

lol, no they shouldn't, they should try and get their equal
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 04:09 PM
4

Something can be hot, and also a red flag. In this case, I'd consider it a red flag because the guy is treating the relationship as transactional, like she's his property.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 02:29 PM
12

If you know about women, you'll know why they find this hot. It's not just hot cause a guy gave her $300. It's hot cause the man took her phone and said, I own you, and I know you're not going to fuck other guys. Somehow, it's bold and subtle at the same time. It's a power play. It's dominance. It's almost certainly a red flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 09:37 AM
–

people just be dumb, frfr, no way to sugar coat it. arguing with dumb people is just a quick dopamine ego boost, I'm really gonna take a break
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 01:32 AM
–

If the bi man is dating a woman, how do you know he doesn't behave heterosexually?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 09:01 AM
–

The question is, "Why is this your preference?" so that's not a reason, it's just restating the question.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 08:47 AM
-2

Ok, fine, it's a response, but it's not an answer. The second part is also a circular response. Forget the analogy, it's just going to make it more confusing. Let's think logically: What conclusion can we draw from a straight woman who does not want to date bisexual men: Could we conclude that A. She's straight B. She wants to date straight men and C. It's her preference. Yup, we could conclude all of that. She might as well tell us she's a woman while she's at it, I think that might clarify thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 08:28 PM
0

If you didn't care you would just give a reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 08:20 PM
-3

What part of circular response don't you get. If I said, "Why did you vote for Trump?" and the response is "Because I didn't want to vote for Biden" is that a response?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 08:19 PM
5

That's a circular response. The question being asked is, "why do you only want to date straight men?" There's a reason for that question.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 06:17 PM
2

It doesn't sound like any answer I give will satisfy you. It should feel like an equal exchange. If you don't know what that feels like, maybe there's some self reflection you need to do. Yes, a date with Smart Chad could potentially be more fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 05:41 PM
1

Is there a certain way you'd describe male romance? 🤔
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 05:28 PM
2

Most of the time male sexuality literally boils down to: a best friend that you want to fuck.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 05:13 PM
3

I answered it. It feels like how it feels when you're with a close friend you really connect with. It feels comfortable. It feels emotional. It feels validating. It feels like you've been seen.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 05:09 PM
2

It's the vast majority of women here. I thought this degree of nuance would be inferred.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 04:30 PM
2

I think we're saying similar things. There's evidence of women's attraction to masculine behavior in the "why won't women date bisexual men" thread. The real reason a lot of them don't is because they think getting fucked in the ass makes a man less masculine. Behavior actually contributes significantly to women's attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 03:31 PM
3

It doesn't work out as well for guys, but I think you're missing the core reason why. Women tend to be attracted to masculine behavior, so for a lot of them it's not enough that you're similar... you have to be similar and sufficiently masculine.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 03:14 PM
3

That't not true, women tend to have really bad self-esteem, but you bring up a good point, a significant portion of these women are going to be delusional
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 03:05 PM
6

You don't need to explain yourselves, but the only people who don't are people who are highly defensive.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 02:36 PM
4

Bro, when did I say "settle for unattractive men"? I said "go for men with similar personalities".
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 02:34 PM
2

Ad hominem
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 02:25 PM
21

We're asking for reasons. If you respond to that with NO ONE OWES YOU REASONS you sound defensive as hell.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 01:13 PM
3

This is revealing. Man said go on a date with your equal and you equate that date as being "mild".
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 01:05 PM
7

I love how I said "date someone similar to yourself" and all the women are acting like I'm telling them to date a boring, awkward drip with no sense of humor.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 12:54 PM
5

I'll help you figure this out. Why might a woman not wanting to date a bisexual man be different than a straight guy not wanting to hook up with another man?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 12:12 PM
3

Red pill guys seem to embrace this type of objectification. That ain't me.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 12:58 AM
0

When I speak of intelligence I'm primarily speaking about emotional intelligence and logical reasoning. I think both people should be in a similar ballpark with these two, because there's going to be a power imbalance if they're not. Why are y'all taking it to these extremes? No, it's not a red flag if a man makes you laugh. But, if you're attracted to a man because of a difference (like him being funnier than you) it makes sense that that difference could be the thing which keeps him from respe…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 12:22 AM
1

if you keep womaning that way you might woman too close to the sun but yeah, it's not a hard and fast rule
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 12:11 AM
1

I look at it like... people can have differences, but if the core of their connection is built on a difference, I can't help but think of that as objectification. Maybe that's my problem that I need to overcome, but it's hard for me not to see it that way. There needs to be something specific WITHIN THE CORE OF THEM that connects TO YOU. Otherwise, why are you picking them? Because of their face? Because of what they represent? Well, both of those options feel a bit shallow to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 11:51 PM
2

You need to be dry to get wet to get dry again.🌞💦
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 11:30 PM
4

Well, men lying to get sex is a separate issue. That's real, and I'm sure it sucks very much for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 11:22 PM
2

Yeah, I think people who haven't done enough self reflection mistake this feeling of validation for love.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 10:49 PM
9

Beautiful. Yup. It really is that simple. Marry your best friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 10:46 PM
-8

"Sorry, I think you're smarter than me, we can't see each other anymore" Of course, there's a reasonable threshold of similarity, but yes, essentially, this is what I think women should do. It should be a turn off if a man is way more intelligent than you. It means he's probably not going to connect with you on a deep level. I'm not saying that you should be bored. You're not typically bored by your close friends, but you're also not expecting them to entertain you all the time. There's a differ…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 10:37 PM
-1

I don't think the reverse would be true. That's why the goal would be to aim for someone similar.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 10:19 PM
20

"I need my vag to be bone fucking dry to know we're compatible..." 💀 😂 Love it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 10:05 PM
2

No, they should choose men based on how they match with them, not based on what they can get out of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 10:03 PM
6

Do you really think most men have no desire to fall in love?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 09:55 PM
3

I'm saying that relationships might have more staying power if women chose to date men just as boring as themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 09:52 PM
-6

Oh, for sure, there's definitely a reasonable threshold of similarity that one should expect. Where one draws that line... it's tough to judge, but it feels weird to me to start at a place of "I love what this man can do for me." That just feels... objectifying... like the woman is getting an ego boost by being chosen by someone with the most positive bonafides.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 09:49 PM
4

Well, I'd wager a lot of guys are like this. They want a relationship. If they can't find that, they'll settle for sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 09:25 PM
1

I'm millennial. 28. I don't think Hasan is a standard in masculinity, I just think he looks masculine, and by that I mean he looks like a frat bro who works out.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 07:45 PM
-1

It's very difficult to have an honest conversation about this for a number of reasons: We've all been socialized to think this way, so a lot of men can't even perceive the double standard. Men are fearful that calling out this double standard is an admission that they're bad at sex. Men and women will naturally look at this through the lens of their own anecdotal experience. Just because the women you've been with have got off easy, or just because you're a woman who's gotten off easily, it does…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 07:04 PM
1

I think he represents the "best of both worlds" for a lot of women, because he has politics they tend to agree with while presenting very masculine.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 06:38 PM
1

Bro, you're a masculine looking 7.5 / 8 out of 10 white guy who resembles Hasan Piker.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 06:18 PM
1

Ok, imagine the woman is married, has religious trauma, and still wants to have sex. Is the man solely at fault for not making her cum, even when she has never done so herself? Please show me where I've said that men don't need to take responsibility for being bad in bed.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 05:47 PM
2

Didn't think it would. I just thought this was a good counter to the commenter below you who said, "Women aren't judging men who put in the active effort and the orgasm just isn't happening, that's the nature of the beast and totally normal."
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 05:08 PM
1

"For most, all it takes is a few quick thrusts and the game is over." Might this indicate a difference in biological response between the sexes? Might that difference be relevant? You're infantilizing women by acting like it's the man's responsibility to get the woman to orgasm before she's even gotten herself to orgasm. If a woman has religious trauma, is that not something she should attempt to work out in therapy?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 05:06 PM
2

Notice the way you're framing this right now. Asking that a woman take some accountability for the ways that her own mental hang ups are contributing to her difficulty orgasming has now been framed as asking her to "help" him make her orgasm. But, yes, exactly, she should try and overcome it and help him make her orgasm. Stop infantilizing women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 04:37 PM
3

Even if he's trying his best and putting in effort, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 04:20 PM
1

OP never mentioned his own sex life so I don't know why you are, he was talking about his perception of men as a whole. Read the sentence after that for more context.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 04:17 PM
-4

A. OP never said men shouldn't care at all. B. OP was talking about men not knowing if women are enjoying themselves in the context of them faking their orgasms.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 04:13 PM
1

10 to 15 percent of women have never had an orgasm. You bring up a good reason why. Shame. If you're able to introduce shame as an explanation for why women have a hard time orgasming during masturbation, why can't we apply that same nuance to the umbrella of why women might have a hard time orgasming with their partner? Shame. Religious trauma. Anxiety. Poor communication. These are relevant factors that might affect a woman's reaction during sex. It's just funny how sex is a two way street unl…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 03:54 PM
0

Some women can't even make themselves orgasm.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 03:20 PM
7

How do you know women aren't judging men who put in active effort and the orgasm just isn't happening?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 03:04 PM
-3

You're strawmanning and arguing in bad faith.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 02:41 PM
-2

Yes, and she might be partly responsible for her response, just like the guy might be partly responsible for his response if he doesn't cum.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 02:25 PM
-2

It's easy to figure out when you're not virtue signaling. He's saying that it should not be seen as automatically and solely the man's fault if he doesn't make his girl cum. It's more complicated than that, the woman plays a role in her orgasm too. There's a clear double standard here.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 01:50 PM
4

oh ok haha, sorry it's been rough for ya lately.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 10:31 PM
2

Yup.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 10:24 PM
1

To some extent, I believe so, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 10:16 PM
8

"I figured she was the best I could get" seems to imply that you were consciously settling for her the whole time. Is this the case?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 10:13 PM
8

If men are going to be shamed for dating women younger than them, women should be shamed for dating men older than them. Men might be dating women younger than them because they're not mature enough for women their own age. But women might be dating men older than them because they want someone more mature to carry the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 03:41 PM
1

Technically, I don't think free will makes any sense as a concept. I believe that all we are is a combination of genetics and environment. Those two things have influenced every decision we have ever made. Free will sounds like some imaginary third thing that doesn't exist. What this lens does, is it gives you a more empathetic perspective. You can be a victim of your own genetics and environment. Most people aren't saying that your effort should guarantee a win. I consider that to be a strawman…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 02:56 PM
2

Everyone doesn't have to be a perfect one to one, but it's my perspective that true love is built off of a foundation of similarities and connection. It's okay to have differences, but they shouldn't be the main thing influencing your union. For instance, you can be drawn to someone because y'all share similar emotional intelligence and find that your partner is much more artistically minded than you are. That's fine, because the emotional intelligence is the hook that connected you first. I don…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 02:29 PM
30

I think your expectations are unreasonable if you expect much more than you're offering. But, more than unreasonable, I find it self-serving and opportunistic. If you're a slob, you shouldn't expect someone highly organized. If you're shy, you shouldn't expect someone wildly confident. If you're boring, you shouldn't expect an entertainer. If you don't have a good job, you shouldn't expect someone who does. Maybe you want these things, and that's better than expecting them, but I still would con…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 08:57 PM
1

Some people socialize better one on one with people they know. However, they're not good with groups, or meeting new people. And, these people might struggle with dating because of that. Men get shit on for being this way, while little acknowledgment is paid to the fact that women have an advantage being this personality type that men do not.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 08:08 PM
–

I think these are less modern women problems and just problems I have with women in general. They're tribalistic. So often it feels like women are repeating the same talking points in the same ways. Men's takes can be just as dumb and irrational (they turned out more for Trump, after all) but there's at least more diversity of thought. They're absolutely terrible at receiving criticism. There are times when a man will criticize a woman, she'll freak out, and then the man will have to calm her do…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 06:57 PM
2

I think there's a lot of men who think that way. But, I think there's a problem where men will lie because they're horny and would happily have sex with a woman they share no connection with. I think some people get confused and get all the way into a relationship (and then marriage) without realizing what a real connection is supposed to feel like. Women are certainly guilty of that too, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 05:17 PM
3

I've always maintained that it's one of the biggest struggles women face in dating. I'm not "you guys", I'm me.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 04:43 PM
4

Ok, now that you've explained it more, I think I actually agree with this take, I just don't think it applies to the commenter you were replying to. Thanks for clarifying.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 04:41 PM
1

Ok, but if everything is different, what are you taking into account to choose someone? Is it mainly their looks? Is it values? I don't think it's all that hard to find people with similar values. Most people want to make enough money to live a comfortable life, while cultivating some time for hobbies and pleasure. Shared interests are where a lot of specificity comes in, and specificity should be important if you're deciding one person to spend the rest of your life with.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 04:39 PM
3

I find sports boring as fuck and even I can see that this is a ridiculously bad faith reading, possibly born out of bitterness.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 04:29 PM
3

It depends on the degree to which you value the hobby.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 04:21 PM
2

Art is one of the main things that makes life worth living for me, so it's far from mundane or unimportant. Looking for the opposite gender version of yourself is more romantic because you're basing it off of shared connection instead of what the other person can provide for you. Seeing an awesome film is just about my favorite thing in the world. If I'm with someone who doesn't share some of that passion, we're simply not going to relate.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 04:17 PM
1

I wouldn't be surprised if a bunch of men just straight up lie to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 04:05 PM
1

I've been wanting to make this post for awhile, and i've been trying to figure out if this is gendered or not. I think a lot of women think the men they sleep with don't want to commit because men as a whole just hate commitment. But... I think it could simply be because they don't have much in common. Women often go for men who present a sort of nonchalant masculinity, and that can sometimes supersede commonality. Men tend to have an "I'll take what I can get" approach. I think men, like most p…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 03:18 PM
1

I have this theory that guys do better on dating apps the more they signal that they're a capable adult. There was one guy who posted recently that he changed his bio to "I own a house" and his match rate was like night and day. The kids might actually help you because it shows you can deal with responsibility. Men also do better when they show that they live a varied, interesting, or exciting life. They also do better when they present as masculine (not try-hard masculine, working-man masculine…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 06:19 AM
7

Ok, that's true, but have you ever seen a group of women trying to agree on what guys they find attractive? There's never any consensus, but they're very "type-centric". For a lot of women, the rating system ought to just consist of zero and ten. Either you're her type, or you do absolutely nothing for her.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 06:08 AM
2

That's the thing, I don't feel all that socially anxious, and if I do, it's because of my blank mind, not the other way around. I think I have something called Cognitive Disengagement Syndrome, which is more similar to inattentive ADHD. But, that's enough oversharing for now haha.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 05:46 AM
1

Yeah. I guess I might be projecting a little, because I'm often plagued with a blank mind. Definitely a difficult thing for men to experience, because it makes us feel dumb and useless.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 05:37 AM
1

I think incels are probably more quiet than they are strange.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 05:26 AM
3

But... isn't the whole conversation about the person? The most important thing someone brings to a relationship is their personality. If you miss him, you miss the relationship. They're intertwined.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 09:09 PM
12

I think women will often assume a man is a bad person if they're responding to a post and they think the subtext of the post disagrees with their worldview. So, they'll do this petty jab where they're like, "you've shown us all exactly why women don't want to date you." In actuality, there's no way they could know why women don't want to date that guy. I've seen this on posts where guys are going on genuinely misogynistic rants, and i've seen this on posts where guys are simply expressing that t…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 06:35 PM
–

No, that's a bad faith interpretation of toxic masculinity. There's nothing inherently toxic about the traits she listed. Toxic masculinity is a version of masculinity that is toxic, it's not saying that all masculinity is toxic. My only issue with the term is that A. its often misused outside of it's academic context and B. there's a double standard where we're able to be critical of masculinity but toxic femininity is not put under the same microscope.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 05:25 PM
–

What you're describing is just men online vastly underestimating the importance of charisma because they let their abysmal dating app prospects convince them that appearance is the only thing that matters
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 05:10 PM
–

Yeah, I understand that people think like that, but it's never been a perspective I could relate to much. I'm looking for people who are similar to myself. I don't need someone to give me benefits, or make my life easier, or fill in my deficiencies, I just need someone to connect with.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 05:01 PM
–

Maybe in your country, but in America, women definitely have less expected of them than men do.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 04:46 PM
–

I sometimes feel like women so often desire a confident man to compensate for a lack of confidence within themselves. They want someone to make them feel safe.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 04:40 PM
–

Sure, my only contention is with how women will say this and then act like men don't have more expectations placed on them.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 04:38 PM
–

Men are expected to be the proactive gender. It doesn't mean they're inherently proactive.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 04:31 PM
6

This is a highly specific trauma dump.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 04:54 AM
5

I think deciding it based on quality of service creates a very strange power dynamic. Like... why are we all appointing ourselves judges when we don't even have the full context of what's going on in the restaurant? Either tip the same thing for everyone, or tip nothing. If I'm not your boss, I don't want to hand out a performance review.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 05:42 PM
13

You're assuming that any bullying of virgin men must be because the man started it first. This is a way to minimize men's grievances, and center women with reductionist framing.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 05:29 PM
12

Childish response. You shouldn't do good things on the condition that someone does something good for you first. You should do good things because they're the right things to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 05:15 PM
10

He never said you couldn't be all those things. He's just talking about how these traits are prioritized.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 05:30 PM
16

My point is that if you're setting your slider high for desirable traits in a partner, it's foolish to then complain that there are no good options.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 05:19 PM
21

lol, I love how the response is inevitably, "well, he could be both! He could be all the things!" He could, but the more complex your order is, the harder it will be to find.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 05:17 PM
16

lol. Why don't men accept the idea that they just overwhelmingly suck compared to women? Must be because they're insecure.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 05:02 PM
7

Yeah, this seems like the obvious explanation to me too.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 05:10 PM
3

Okay, so if my hypothesis is that women like it because they think a man being powerful enough to force you to do something you don't want to do is hot, there's probably no way to know for sure without the appropriate research.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 05:08 PM
2

Women doing mental gymnastics in this thread
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 05:03 PM
3

It's very rare for me to have crushes so if I do I tend to fixate, which makes the dynamic pretty mentally unhealthy. It's called limerence.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 08:03 PM
-1

It's because they feel insecure. I can empathize with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 04:32 AM
5

He asked you how being sexually appealing makes someone funny and you explained how being funny makes someone sexually appealing. I think yall are just talking past one another. I think you're trying to say that being sexually appealing doesn't make someone funny, you just find them sexually appealing because they're funny.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 04:20 AM
9

You might be the first woman ever who's referred to Ricky Gervais as "sexually appealing"
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 04:18 AM
4

Doesn't it feel a bit... unromantic?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 10:06 PM
3

oh, if we're throwing cocaine into the mix, sure, that might help
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 06:29 PM
8

I can't tell if this is a joke, or you just don't understand introversion 💀
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 06:21 PM
1

I agree with this point, but strawman harder.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 06:19 PM
1

Actually it is unrealistic because it's literally not what people are doing. Systems should be designed based on reality, not how we'd like the world to work.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 06:10 PM
1

First of all, I never said I'm a radical leftist. I'm a moderate liberal. Second of all, I don't understand what you making your own bread has to do with Americans being charged more for goods. Just seems like a way to be evasive and virtue signal. That's not a realistic thing to expect for the average American, and I don't cast my vote with the mentality of "fuck yall, so long as things work out for me".
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 05:53 PM
1

lol, I definitely didn't expect that response
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 05:17 PM
3

They provide you the life you want by filling in your weaknesses. It feels opportunistic and unromantic to me to choose someone based on what they can do for you, rather than how they match with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 04:57 PM
1

Enjoy those tariffs.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 04:16 PM
2

I'd argue that love is inherently narcissistic, and there's nothing wrong with that. Choosing someone based on the life they can provide for you feels opportunistic to me. Choosing someone based on how you connect and relate to one another feels more personalized. It's natural to feel closer to people who share similarities with us.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 04:05 PM
1

I get what you're saying, and I feel a little silly about hyper analyzing something that was meant to be a fun, innocuous statement. I think what's really happening is that I feel bothered about the way women lust over skills and accomplishments, and I'm sort of hijacking the convo with my own insecurities. Simply put, I can't relate, because I lust over women who share similarities to me. So, someone being good at yo-yoing wouldn't turn me off, but it wouldn't be some sort of plus. I'd apprecia…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 03:47 PM
5

Well, I don't like the definition of feminism that just means "gender equality". I find it sexist. Why should gender equality be encompassed with a gendered term? It seems like a contradiction from the outset. I think feminists should be people who advocate for women's rights. The problem is that a movement that advocates for men's rights isn't taken seriously.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 03:31 PM
3

I think power comes in many forms. Skills demonstrate competence, dedication, and hard work. Being good at something is power, just as if you were leveling up your stats in a video game.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 06:35 AM
1

Isn't being attracted to guys with skills you don't possess a way of being attracted to power?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 10:42 PM
1

I think you're probably right! I shouldn't have made a distinction between understanding and feeling when talking about women. To understand, I think technically you do have to feel on some level, but the intensity varies. Otherwise, my point stands, thanks. 🤙
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 06:35 PM
2

Empathy is just understanding how someone feels. Women do not have a monopoly on that. They might feel more, but I don't think they understand more. Having high empathy is not about understanding the plight of the underprivileged. That's easy. Having high empathy is understanding the plight of the serial killer or rapist.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 06:02 PM
9

Yes, men have traditional gendered expectations for appearance. Women do too. Additionally, they have traditional gendered expectations for behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 11:18 PM
5

I don't think that type of man is as common as you're saying. Just looking at these internet debate spaces, for every redpill man with that perspective, I'll find 10 guys who say they just want to find a woman who isn't fat that they get along with. When you move away from the internet, you see how rarely this manosphere bullshit transfers over to the real world. I do think that the average woman tends to care much more about gendered behavior than men do, even as they're hesitant to admit it. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 11:15 PM
6

Would it bother you if you were with a man who didn't know how to do these things? It's "masculine" in the sense that if we don't, we'll be judged more harshly than a woman would be. Just like a woman would be judged more harshly for not knowing how to cook.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 10:36 PM
20

Gendered behavior is much more of a requirement for women's sexuality than it is for men's. I don't know how this isn't obvious to everyone in 2025.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 10:30 PM
2

Ok, thank you. What are some of the main things you think men aren't doing during penetrative sex? And, do you think at least part of it could be due to mental hang ups women have that make it hard to relax with a partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 04:30 AM
1

Where are you getting the information that most women can orgasm from penetrative masturbation?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 01:03 AM
1

I love how doggedly good faith OP is being in this whole thread
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 06:10 PM
–

Okay, but it depends, because this isn't really a good line of reasoning in the face of people being nakedly prejudiced.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 05:58 PM
1

It's like the go-to talking point these days. I genuinely don't know how much validity there is to it. I know there's been studies done on the matter that support the idea that women do more work in the home even when both are working. My guess is that it has some truth to it, but it gets wildly exaggerated on the regular.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 03:05 PM
1

It was obvious hyperbole
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 03:02 PM
4

A woman born in 2025 did not create the strong social support that she will benefit from. I know that because a woman born in 2025 is an infant. Even if the reason is because women in the past have paved the way, that still does not negate it being a privilege. She gets the advantage without having done anything. Even if men have higher sentences because of a higher propensity to commit crime, that does not negate whether women have privileges in this area. Same concept applies. The "why" is irr…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 09:42 AM
–

But don't you think women get defensive when men bring up the misandry they see in online spaces? The entire conversation gets neutralized and turned into a conversation about the oppression of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 09:20 AM
2

We were. You're right. I shouldn't have changed the topic, that was manipulative of me.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 08:55 AM
3

Hey, at least you're admitting women have privileges. Go over to the TwoXChromosomes sub with that take and you'll probably get banned.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 08:48 AM
2

I think a sizable portion of women here are reluctant to frame any of the advantages OP outlined as privileges, especially point 2. They also have a hard time admitting they have dating app privilege.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 08:42 AM
2

Interesting. I'll check in on this thread to see if that has some validity but that was not my impression at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 08:30 AM
3

Do you think most women on this sub are able to acknowledge their privileges?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 08:25 AM
1

Even going with this framing, I don't understand how who causes something negates the fact that a group receives a privilege. If women benefit from it then it's a privilege.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 08:20 AM
4

None of the examples OP listed are meaningful?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 08:11 AM
12

Try going on the TwoXChromosomes sub and asking if women have any privileges. Good luck with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 08:08 AM
–

Well, I've definitely seen threads where a comment as simple as "it's normal for a man to feel sad about having never experienced romance" is met with aggressive pushback and claims of entitlement. A lot of times it feels like people digest certain talking points but don't know how to maturely apply them. I think in the example you gave, people should still offer their opinion on what might be happening, but we need to do away with this kneejerk "it must be your attitude that's driving them away…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/25 10:36 PM
10

Women after masturbating
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 06:56 PM
12

Good on you for using the p word in relation to women. I know that's an act of treason in most circles.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 04:31 PM
5

I don't think a better orgasm would make masturbation feel more fulfilling to me. It's unfulfilling because it doesn't provide you validation or connection.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 04:30 PM
3

Every time I see the word "decentering" I get a bit anxious because whenever I've seen women use it they've always come across as a bit unhinged. I'm still getting used to men saying it. There's nothing fundamentally wrong with the word though.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 04:21 PM
7

Well, women have separate criteria for a good male friend and a good male partner because women look for traits that accentuate gender differences much more than men do. A man is really just looking for a best friend that he gets to fuck. Women's attraction often includes a few extra wrinkles, like whether the man is competent, masculine, or much of a leader.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 03:12 AM
–

They're saying "women don't approach men anywhere close to the rate that men approach women" and it's factual. Sometimes generalizations are just observations of general trends, and there's nothing wrong with observations of general trends so long as it does not cause you to prejudge an individual.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/25 04:27 PM
–

Wut lol. You're the one who said it's wrong to list the things your partner does that benefit you. I'm saying it's natural and something we all do. You're just trying to make women look altruistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 02:53 PM
–

This is what people miss about the statistic where 63% of men under 30 are single compared to 34% of women. It's not because they're all dating the same guy. It's because they're dating older guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 01:57 PM
–

So... if a woman lists how she loves a man's confidence, or the way he makes her laugh, or that he's ambitious, or a gifted musician, in what way does any of that stuff not benefit her?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 01:52 PM
–

Men are not natural providers and protectors. That's a sexist myth. Men have to become that.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 03:28 PM
–

That's not a good analogy at all because sex is supposed to be mutually beneficial
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 03:24 PM
1

we love a based pick me 👏😍 um. I mean... Astute observations. I concur.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 04:25 PM
2

Depends how they constructing the vaginas these days
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 04:21 PM
–

you don't know they're religious. it's perfectly acceptable to not want to fuck people based on religious differences, that's entirely different
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 07:38 PM
–

wow, it's a bit rare for women to say this, but it seems so obvious to me
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 06:23 PM
1

I think that's true at the upper ends. An 8 or above is always gonna be on easy mode. But I think a 5 or 6 out of 10 could probably pull like two points out of his league through sheer charisma.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/25 10:08 PM
6

This is factual, good points.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/25 05:28 PM
1

People on this sub vastly underestimate the effect confidence and charisma has on women. I don't know if it trumps looks, but it's right there with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/25 05:13 PM
4

Here's a relevant point: Would it be acceptable for a woman to say she doesn't want to date black men because black men have higher rates of domestic violence? This is also an example of a stereotype, and a woman safe-guarding herself based on that stereotype. Just some food for thought.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 10:15 PM
3

Dude, we're not talking about being disgusted by any physical characteristics, there's nothing wrong with that. The guy brought up a scenario where someone claims they love someone, but then finds out they're Jewish and is disgusted by it. Do you not see how that is entirely different?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 10:08 PM
6

The original question was "If I'm I'm love with a woman but I feel disgusted upon learning she's Jewish, even though nothing changed about her, is that not antisemitic?" So... yeah, I'm done here. ✌️
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 08:27 PM
7

You didn't answer my question.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 07:41 PM
9

I'm not shocked. Your post was far too nuanced for this sub, and we're societally conditioned to downplay the importance of love and relationships, even when it's been one of the top two topics for art throughout all of history.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 07:08 PM
2

Do you know where I can find the stats on that? Hobby message boards sounds suspect. I'd be more likely to believe Instagram, but that can be used like yet another dating app, and women overwhelmingly have the advantage there too.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 07:00 PM
12

You're not very good at following logic, aye? You can put whatever barriers you want, but this is a clear case where the barrier is a result of prejudice. What's the non-antisemitic reasoning for why the person feels disgusted that the woman he loves is Jewish?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 06:41 PM
2

lol, you are certainly not a humanist
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 05:57 PM
-3

How do you know that?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 05:53 PM
-3

This is ridiculous. Not wanting to date someone because you're not attracted to the way their race looks is fine because you don't choose what features you're attracted to. Not wanting to date someone because of beliefs and stereotypes you have about the group they belong to is entirely different.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 05:17 PM
3

First of all, thank you for admitting that. Second of all, would you say that you believe a man's behavior effects a woman's sexuality more than a woman's behavior effects a man's? Like, it seems like you're saying that part of the appeal to being attracted to men is them acting like men. Not in any exaggerated alpha male type of way, but more general. Whereas men obviously place a high importance on a woman looking feminine, but behavior doesn't play into it nearly as much.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 05:04 PM
7

Thank you for being honest. I see a lot of other explanations floated, namely that women are insecure that he'll be attracted to more people, and, while that can be a factor, I don't think it's the main driving force behind women's revulsion.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 04:24 PM
8

They wouldn't necessarily consider it "lowering their standards", they'd view it as "considering more variables than just looks".
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 04:06 PM
2

I know what men want. A lot of them want Cool Girl™. Someone low maintenance. Someone like "one of the guys", because that's what they relate to. Women certainly don't want a man who acts like "one of the women". This sub is going to have a disproportionate amount of redpill input that will skew things to the more traditional, but generally women are given a much wider depth for what it means to act like a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 04:04 PM
7

It exposes a difference in how gender manifests in behavior. Men want a woman who looks like a woman, and acts like a human. Women want a man who looks like a man, and acts like a MAN™ because behavior is more tied to women's sexuality than it is for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 03:52 PM
11

I... feel like most women don't say that. It's men who have lower physical standards for casual sex. Women are the opposite. Thought this was a pretty commonly held opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 03:42 PM
2

A applaud anyone who admits they're wrong. That's rare, and should be encouraged. Round of applause for that. From here, it's only a short walk over to the obvious conclusion that gendered behavior is more tied to sexuality for women than it is for men, but I'll let that marinate.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 03:36 PM
2

That's not a reason, that's circular logic. It's not a flavor of ice cream. So... I'm just going to assume you're utterly lacking in introspection. It's like saying, "I'm not attracted to men who work in advertising" and then I ask, "Why is that?" and you say, "Because I don't like them".
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 10:26 PM
2

Are you so lacking in introspection that you can't even muster up a reason, or are you afraid to say why?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 10:17 PM
4

So, then, hypothetically, you're saying you actually would date a bisexual man?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 09:59 PM
1

Being turned off by black people is not racist if it's for aesthetic reasons. Being turned off by black people because of what you think being black reveals about them is. The later would be comparable to finding bisexual men unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 09:54 PM
4

Okay, well why don't you wait to find out if they're promiscuous instead of stereotyping them right off the bat.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 09:49 PM
1

Why do you find it unattractive?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 09:47 PM
5

I'm comparing the average man to the average woman. I'm not comparing manosphere men to the average woman because manosphere men do not represent the average.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 06:34 PM
2

No, because not wanting to date women is based on how they physically present. Not wanting to date bisexual men is based on what you think bisexuality reveals about them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 06:26 PM
11

It's also because they tend to care way less about gender roles.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 05:29 PM
4

Yes, women can refuse to date men for whatever reason, and we can call them biphobic if their reason is "because he's bi".
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 05:27 PM
2

Well, you'd have to explain how wanting to fuck a guy is less masculine.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 04:52 PM
3

This is a terrible argument, because you're not acknowledging how some preferences are tied to belief systems. If you don't find black people attractive because you don't find them aesthetically pleasing, that's not racist. If you don't find black people attractive because you think black people are loud and obnoxious, that is racist. Since bisexual people don't present differently than straight people, not liking them is rooted in a belief system. It's usually a belief that bisexual men are les…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 04:45 PM
8

Women care way more about gender roles, that's why they don't like bisexual men. The image of them getting fucked by another guy goes against their image of masculinity. Women are very good at assuming a bunch of things about you based on one or two superficial characteristics. Not liking a man because he's not masculine enough is fine. I even believe there's a biological component to that element of sexuality. Not liking a man because he's bi is, however, biphobic, because it's rooted in stereo…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 04:34 PM
4

Yes, but how do you know women's profiles aren't equally filled with red flags?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 04:07 PM
–

You're entirely wrong about this and it might be influenced by the comments you see online. Men be capping online. A skinny woman will do well for herself if her face looks decent.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 09:17 PM
–

She definitely does not need an "assertive but still feminine personality".
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 08:47 PM
–

The main reason men base their worth on having sexual partners is A. because of testosterone and B. because we have limited access to sexual partners. Scarcity creates competition which creates the thirsty hunt.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 08:44 PM
–

Yeah, but you're giving us guys what we want because we'll gladly trade gaslighting for callousness. That's why you're going to sound like a "pick me" to them. You're betraying the sisterhood by saying the quiet part out loud: dating is easier for y'all than it is for us.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 08:41 PM
2

I don't understand what you're saying, I can't tell if y'all are getting your wires crossed or not. Are you saying that woman fantasize about CNC? Or, are you saying that women fantasize about rape, but there's nothing wrong with fantasizing about rape because it's a fantasy?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/25 07:11 AM
2

Thank you for your clarity! You got right down to the heart of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/25 12:12 AM
8

It seems like most of women's fantasies, in general, tend to focus on being desired instead of desiring something for its raw aesthetic beauty.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 10:56 PM
1

That analogy doesn't quite work because in this case there's a better movement we could support that advocates for equality for both genders. It's called egalitarianism.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 10:44 PM
–

I can't tell if this is supposed to be a poem or your actual opinion
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 10:44 PM
1

What if the answer is, "I haven't found anyone I could connect with"
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 09:06 PM
2

We don't want the best. We want the best for us.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 09:02 PM
–

It seems like male sexuality often involves desiring someone and female sexuality often involves being desired
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 05:21 PM
8

🛎️
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 04:16 AM
-1

Actually, I think it's the opposite. People end up getting divorced because they were never really the right personality match for one another.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 11:16 PM
-2

Because the genuine connection you share feels so special that it's worth enduring the practical inconveniences.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 11:08 PM
1

I would say that people acting as if reactive desire in women isn't a thing is part of my resentment. Because, when you act like men and women are exactly the same it becomes harder to empathize with the struggles inherent to each. I value honesty, so my resentment comes from what I perceive to be a lack of honesty. No, I must confess, I've never been in love. Thank you for sharing your story. There are different types of intelligence, and someone intelligent in one domain may be a dumbfuck in t…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 10:46 PM
3

I think I agree with you, but I have a caveat. In order to have chemistry with someone, you need, at the bare minimum, a similar level of emotional intelligence. That's sort of a prerequisite for understanding someone, and eliminating any sort of power imbalance. Additionally, I'd say, most of the time we have chemistry with people we have things in common with. So, if I dedicate my life to film, and it's the thing that gives me the most joy, I'm naturally going to feel a lack of chemistry with …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 09:45 PM
4

Connections become harder to form the more you deviate from the norm. So, the more intelligent, atypical, niche you are, the harder it becomes.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 08:08 PM
2

Hookup material: A woman you find attractive but you don't connect with. Girlfriend material: A woman you find attractive that you connect with. Wife material: A woman you find attractive that you connect with. You were able to cohabitate with little drama for a minimum of one year.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 05:26 PM
1

Kind. Empathetic. Rational. Low neuroticism. Low sensitivity. Low maintenance. High emotional intelligence. Isn't easily swayed by the opinions of others. Isn't an extremist. Good looking.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 04:01 PM
12

Yeah, she can do what she wants, but I think his opinion is pretty important as the person who sleeps with her
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 06:28 AM
6

Ok, I just got the sense that a lot of the stuff you were listing was about the reality of being in a relationship, while OP was focusing on courting and reciprocation.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 08:07 PM
17

She was specifically talking about the difficulty of dating. She even said, "Now relationships? That's a different story and I think there's pros and cons to being committed to both genders".
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 08:02 PM
5

He's homophobic.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 07:47 PM
23

One thinks dating a woman will be like two people gradually lowering themselves into a pool so that they're both submerged. What actually happens is the man wades all the way to his torso while the woman dips her foot in and he assures her that the water is warm.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 06:24 PM
12

Aaaah, I think you hit the nail on the head. Additionally, I think women are used to being seen as a sexual object by men, so it's not really a novel experience like it might be for a woman to do it. A man saying that also goes against masculine / feminine power dynamics by putting the woman on a pedestal. A lot of women like a little mystery and tension first. But yeah, it sort of seems like they have a positive in-group bias where they don't hold women to the rigidity of masculinity as much.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 06:15 PM
59

This post is entirely too honest, we can't have that...
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 06:00 PM
13

People argue that women don't do this for a couple reasons. It makes women feel guilty. People are simply unaware. And, there's power in being the oppressed class, so when you say women have something easier it takes away some of their power.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 05:58 PM
38

That's so interesting because a guy using "hey, I think you're hot..." would absolutely NOT work. In fact, it's probably the exact wrong way for a guy to approach. You seem to acknowledge this though when you say it's harder for men to pull women for a ONS. Why do you think that is?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 05:49 PM
1

Thank you for the information, I will look into that research. I always assumed the reason people date and marry someone of their own social status is because it's who they surround themselves with.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 05:43 PM
3

Okay, but if society is to acknowledge that there's this biological aspect to women's sexuality, that means that women would also have to unironically acknowledge their privileges. I know I sound like a bitch when I say it, but it's not fair that women will refuse to acknowledge that dating is harder for men, and then also refuse to acknowledge that they're biologically predisposed to box men into masculine behavioral standards. Being honest about this would lead to more empathy for men. I'd lov…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 02:52 AM
1

I think there's a biological component to a lot of heterosexual women's sexuality that makes them desire gendered traits / behavior, this is true. Money, and the ability to acquire it is a show of dominance, and this turns a lot of women on. It's hard to get people to empathize with this when most women will deny that there's a biological component at all. "Gold digger" might be a bit loaded, but I do consider it fundamentally unromantic.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 01:46 AM
1

I do have to ask if you're neurodivergent because I tend to associate this degree of honest, detailed communication with neurodivergent people. If you're familiar with the sex researcher Aella, she's aggressively good faith in a similar sort of way. I love that you said you think I have beef with women lol. There is some resentment. I was mainly referring to the types of things I've heard from women online, like here on Reddit. I can see how my post is a bit of a bait and switch cause the initia…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 11:48 PM
2

👀
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 10:18 PM
1

You are incredibly charming and seem very intelligent. Will work on a response, thanks!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 09:12 PM
-1

Is that what you genuinely believe? You believe women are biologically conditioned to be gold diggers? Or are you just trying to be snarky and mean? Men like sex! We have testosterone! There's nothing wrong with that, but it can unfortunately lead to manipulation. That's not really a controversial statement.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 07:08 PM
2

There's nothing inherently wrong about the fact that a lot of men find women useful for sex. That's just a difference in biology. What's wrong is that men often need to use manipulation in order to get the sex they desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 06:57 PM
1

My post is encompassing a lot, but I meant for it to apply to all of the above. I agree with your point that most personality traits aren't objectively good, but I think that's how some women view them (often, women will argue that confidence is an objectively good trait that everyone should select for) and it seemed like the clearest way to get my point across. I'd argue that if two people are in danger of combusting because they're too similar, they probably need to fix some things about thems…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 06:51 PM
1

The reason that status is sexually attractive to women is because women are more attracted to gendered behavior in general, usually when it signifies dominance. This goes hand in hand with competency. I think we agree on the primary subconscious reason. Work-life balance is a reasonable thing to consider, but "high rate of cheating" strikes me as a neurotic stereotype, and, fair enough, some women might consider such silliness. When you say your husband is smarter than you, would you say your em…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 06:26 PM
1

It's my definition of the word romantic.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 05:39 PM
1

It becomes more "romantic" because you're drawing from what is specific to you as a human being. We can all acknowledge that a man who marries a woman solely because of the way she looks is objectifying her. Well, I'd argue that a woman who marries a man because he's more witty, or more interesting, or more talented is also engaging in objectification, and probably has low self-esteem. These differences can create skewed power dynamics. I don't believe real connection is possible without sharing…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 05:31 PM
1

Yes, I'd argue that if a woman sucks at art and doesn't know much about it, and finds a a man who is artistic attractive... that is not romantic. I understand being proud of your partner, but that's quite different than being romantically pulled in by them. Having a talent is having an objectively good trait. Having a talent that you also have an interest in is specific to you, and therefore more romantic.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 05:02 PM
1

I agree with you about the nuance of competence, but that's not the way that the women I'm referring to think. I guess the question I'd pose to you is... if competence is not the main determining factor for why a man's career is important, what is?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 04:46 PM
-2

People can admire traits in others they don't have or have less of themselves, but if you give that admiration more weight than a shared connection, the relationship dynamic is fundamentally unromantic. The examples you give have a tenuous connection to what I'm saying, and I'd hurt myself in confusion trying to parse how they apply.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 04:39 PM
1

It doesn't necessarily unlock romantic attraction, but it's an additive to it. It's only unromantic if women choose a man because he fills in the deficiencies she has in her own life. Women are the gender that say they care about a man's career. Why do you think that is?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 04:35 PM
1

I'm suggesting that a woman who wants a man to have a higher status job than herself is either doing so because she thinks it makes him more competent than her, or because she likes the money that comes with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 04:24 PM
1

I never said it isn't attractive, I'm saying that desiring someone because they're more competent than you are is not romantic, it's opportunistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 03:06 PM
1

Something can be romantic, and also tragic. Anyways, thanks for sharing your perspective. I will consider it, and maybe my mind will change one day. As of now, this is what I think is romantic.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 05:58 AM
2

Yeah, that's a good point, but you don't need their career to tell you that they're intelligent. You can just figure it out by talking to them. And also, someone can be really intelligent in one domain and a dumbfuck in the next. Elon Musk, for example.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 05:46 AM
2

I disagree. I think love is a feeling based off of shared connection. It's not a calculated decision. The result down the line has no bearing on whether or not it's romantic. That's playing Monday morning quarterback. Love is when it's entirely impractical, and you might die like a rat in the street, but you do it anyways, because that's your person. Watch the movie Before Sunset for a good example of how love persists beyond practicality.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 03:25 AM
2

Interesting, thanks for your perspective!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 02:49 AM
0

I think people in the same profession are often capable of having wildly different personalities. I'd consider stereotyping a person based on their career to generally be a poor way to get a read on someone. Seems like just... asking someone what they believe about the world would be far more illuminating. If their job is a part of that worldview, great, but it's odd to make it the starting point. I also think there's a lot of people who simply aren't passionate about their job, and just view it…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 02:01 AM
5

Yeah, true, you can't have it both ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 01:48 AM
1

Okay, so you're saying that you don't care what the man's job is, you care about his passion for his job. This is because you are very passionate about your job. Sounds romantic to me! You're actually sort of taking the position I take when women ask why I (and other men) don't factor a woman's career into who we choose to date. The woman makes the job important to me. Not the other way around.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 01:36 AM
0

I don't really understand what you're trying to say. Sure, there are careers that women might find morally, or politically off-putting, but A. these are outliers and B. admitting that this is true doesn't conflict with the larger point I was making.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 01:32 AM
0

I never said that there's nothing one can glean from a persons job. I honestly have no idea how many women are willing to date men in these professions. If I had to take an educated guess, I'd say that it'd probably be a bit polarizing, with certain women loving it, and certain women hating it. I feel like you're sort of obfuscating a bit with these specific examples. The point of the post was that a man's job generally tells a woman about his level of competency, so it doesn't really make sense…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 01:23 AM
3

I'm not sure what you're giving me credit for. 🤔 I find this response confusing.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 01:04 AM
1

Personally, kids are something I'd think about after falling in love, not before, but I understand how my perspective is different than most people's. It'd be more practical to consider these things, you're right, but practicality is not romantic. I think you're right about women doing both.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 11:39 PM
5

Easy explanation for this one. It's a difference in how both gender's sexuality works. Straight women are attracted to "masculine behavior". A guy who's her friend would also need to satisfy this dynamic. Men aren't really attracted to gendered behavior, so they're more likely to pine after girls they have things in common with.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 08:49 PM
–

When I watch straight porn I feel like I'm being cucked. Also, fingering is my favorite thing, it's double the women, and I don't like looking at penis. Male porn stars are always such troglodytes, they repulse me. I just pick a long lesbian scene and basically skip around to avoid any strap-on or scissoring scenes (always tends to be the finishing move).
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 03:39 PM
1

Also out of curiosity, would you describe yourself as social, funny, outgoing, friendly, and likeable?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 06:28 AM
2

The comments seem to be gaslighting you, but I think you actually can make a rough generalization that men who present on the extreme end of masculinity tend to be less emotionally intelligent. Obviously there's a lot of exceptions to the rule, but that's why it's a generalization. Just my opinion. The most emotionally intelligent people I've known look more like professors than the pool shark who drives his motorcycle to your local dive bar.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 05:25 PM
2

Ah, so I take it you're just trying to filter out gold diggers then? That's cool. I'm sure the different counties help a bit. The last thing that I almost forgot is that if you look masculine, that'll go a long way. Muscles, sure, but I think a lot of guys who struggle just don't have a naturally masculine face. This is all just my hypothesis, I could be wrong. Glad it's working decently for ya.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 10:26 PM
3

oh, maybe u could be getting more matches lol. The other things that could be effecting it would be if you were white, you appear high status, or if you look like you live an exciting, interesting life.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 10:07 PM
2

Do you have a good job?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 10:00 PM
2

Ok, but don't you think women are much more attracted to gender norms than men are? A man may like gender norms, but they're not intrinsically connected to his arousal in the same way. The exception being, obviously, how you physically present, and that's what rules a man's arousal.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 07:27 PM
18

Personality is the most brutal killer IMO, and the hardest thing to change. Not personality as women often describe it. I think a lot of women would fail to meet their own personality threshold. You often need to be funnier, more extroverted, and more charismatic than the average woman. If you present as particularly masculine or dominant, that's also going to help you out a ton. Height and looks certainly matter, but I think you can still find women if you max out on these traits, granted you'r…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 06:59 PM
–

OP is clearly not familiar with the dating preferences of a lot of black men.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 06:41 PM
1

They don't think niceness makes women horny, they just don't realize that a guy has to have other personality traits that make a girl horny, because guys horniness is mostly dependent on visual stimuli, so niceness to them is just icing on a cake they already want to fuck. A guy isn't generally made horny, he arrives horny, and the nice guy phenomenon is an inability of men to realize that women have different gendered requirements for arousal. Essentially, men think that women will like the sam…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 06:34 PM
11

First of all, introverts don't always just pair off with introverts. I'm sure it's more common, but it's not a rule. Second of all, wouldn't it make sense that introverted women have a larger pool of introverted male options than the reverse, given how women in general are more sought after?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 04:54 PM
23

Yeah, and they have more options, because men initiate more, and they're far more sought after than male introverts.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 04:39 PM
12

Or... maybe he's just an introvert...
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 04:31 PM
1

I think there's something to the idea that women are more likely to "lose control" during sex. They're viewed as these innocent, coveted creatures who transform in the night. Women tend to be noisier, make more facial expressions, their body changes more throughout the interaction, and they have stronger orgasms. They also "submit", and have someone enter them. When you take all this into account, it's easy to see how sex is more embarrassing and intimate and vulnerable for a woman. I also think…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 04:26 PM
–

Thank you! It's good to know romantic women are still out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 03:13 AM
1

Yeah, that seems to track, I personally think transference and antisocial personality have nothing to do with empathy, but that's because my definition of empathy is simply understanding, and this differs from other people's definition.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 08:54 PM
1

I think women feel the pain of others more viscerally than men. That doesn't mean they understand the pain of others better than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 08:47 PM
2

There's no reason to think having a partner you love and share your life with is preferable to being alone for the rest of your existence?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 07:54 PM
1

I prefer to just frame it as "unromantic". Choosing a partner based on income is making a logical calculation. Whereas, I've always viewed romance as an emotional reaction based on shared understanding. So, my mentality is that I'm willing to endure a significant degree of discomfort in the name of love. You can get in the life raft, or you can freeze to death outside the Titanic. Obviously, if you don't have the means to support a child, you should not have a child. But, I would simply go into …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 04:56 PM
3

You're on the right track. Emasculation is an emotion. It's the manifestation of shame and the fear of not being accepted. In order to stop feelings of emasculation, we need to fix the society which causes those feelings. And, it's not an easy process, but it falls on everyone to help.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 04:35 PM
–

It's strange to be worrying about OP's sex life. You can attack his position without the ad homs.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 01:36 AM
4

Saying "men need sex" is not the same thing as saying "women need to give men sex". If I say homeless people need a place to sleep, does that mean I have to let them crash on my couch? Sometimes people need things, and they don't get what they need, and it's not fair, and the world keeps spinning. There's not a requirement that needs be met. Sometimes people just suffer.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 08:24 PM
2

Of course. I never said they didn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 03:02 PM
4

Men care about personality and interests and values as they relate to them. That's choosing based on compatibility versus just choosing what's going to give you the easiest life. A woman's job is important because a woman is important, not the other way around.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 07:49 PM
4

Sex isn't the only priority. Women select more for self-preservation. But, i see we're at an impasse.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 07:41 PM
8

They do care what a women is like, their sexuality is just less dependent on gendered behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 07:38 PM
8

Incorrect. Socially awkward men don't see social awkwardness as a bad thing because they find it relatable. Socially awkward women often see it as a bad thing in men because it's not masculine and doesn't turn them on.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 07:30 PM
3

Any thoughts on how preferences for gendered behavior (women being sexually attracted to confidence / dominance in men) makes it so that this effects men more than it does women?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 07:16 AM
2

It’s two things. Men are more horny. And… Men genuinely don’t see social awkwardness as as much of a negative as women do. Women generally care more about gender roles, and a socially awkward man is less likely to exhibit masculine traits like confidence and dominance.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 03:32 AM
2

It’s more complicated than that. Men are less likely to select for self-preservation. Socially awkward men like socially awkward women because they find it relatable.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 11:25 PM
2

Yeah, that's true haha. Got a better ring to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 11:38 PM
16

I get what you're trying to say but "the default for baby as an insult is feminine" is a pretty absurd statement. I understand saying women are treated like babies, or there's an expectation that women are babies. There, however, is not an expectation that babies are women. "Man" is added as a modifier because it's intended to be a true hybrid of two states of development. Looks like a man, acts like a baby. Manbaby.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 11:19 PM
-1

Yup. But can you see how "people expect less of you" is simultaneously a disadvantage and a privilege?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 11:06 PM
1

So, what does it take? Does the woman have to be more attractive than the man?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 01:29 AM
–

They’ll definitely say it on this sub, but this sub wouldn’t really be a good place to post it cause it’s a debate sub. They’ll also say it if you post it on any women subs or any feminist subs. On the relationship and advice subs it’ll probably be less confrontational and just naively dismissive.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 12:02 AM
–

I’m pretty sure I’ve seen the first statement plenty on Reddit. Most often women will respond with well-meaning but naive and ultimately toxic positivity, which can feel dismissive. The most frustrating thing is when someone posts that they’re unhappy single and the woman tells him that there’s something psychologically wrong with him for wanting a relationship so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 11:33 PM
–

Ok, but I think one reason that men feel compelled to make the second statement so much is because women invalidate the first statement. That’s sort of how privilege works. The privileged person invalidates the person expressing hardship because they don’t understand it and that only makes the person expressing hardship want to explain to them that they’re privileged.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 11:02 PM
1

I should have been more precise, so thank you for your comment. When I was referring to friendship I should have made the distinction that I was thinking of a particularly close friendship. Not a shallow friendship where both people are only friends via random circumstance. I was imagining that these people connect really well and perhaps have a lot in common. Of course not all friendships are like that, so it’s my error that I lacked complexity with the way I framed things.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 09:17 PM
1

Did you even read what I wrote? Where am I saying that looks don’t matter? Y’all do this “all or nothing” thing. Women don’t always date men they simply vibe with because they have an additional criteria for gendered behavior. That was one of my main points.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 05:35 PM
9

Lol, how popular are male strip clubs compared to female ones, and how popular are those male strip clubs with gay men? When people say men are more visual than women they’re not saying women aren’t visual, they’re just saying men are more. Men significantly watch more pornography than women. People have a ridiculously hard time conceding that generally different genders experience things at different degrees. The dating app stats are not the smoking gun y’all think they are. Women consider more…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 05:27 PM
2

I was saying your perspective on men and women consist of strawmen. You’re accusation wasn’t a strawman, it’s a quick way to skip arguing over what I had to say by discrediting me. No, I have never been in a real relationship. I don’t think someone being in a real relationship automatically makes their perspective more valid than mine. Direct experience is not the only measure of information.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 04:40 PM
2

“Type” means different things when both genders use it. When a guy says Margot Robbie isn’t his type, he usually means, “she’s not my preference, but I’d still sleep with her if the opportunity presented itself”. If a woman says Ryan Gosling isn’t her type she means, “I’m not attracted to him whatsoever and would have no desire to sleep with him. He might as well be a 4 out of 10 as far as I’m concerned.” This doesn’t mean that Ryan Gosling isn’t in extreme demand, he’d belong to a very popular …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 02:31 PM
4

I’m sure you liked that I referenced Pulp Fiction so you could feel comfortable discrediting my character instead of engaging with what I had to say. You’re the one who constructed absurd, strawman arguments.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 02:16 PM
1

The assumption is that if someone is your friend (I should have been more clear on what type of friendship, but I wasn’t referring to a shallow friendship, more so a “best friend”) you enjoy their behavior/personality, and that personality is the reason you’re friends in the first place. My point was that women don’t just lose attraction based on any behavior, but specifically gendered behavior. They often have a different set of behavioral standards that they hold men to that specifically align…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 02:08 PM
1

Nowhere here did I say that men couldn’t lose attraction to a woman due to her behavior/personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 01:49 PM
2

But why should we select for leadership qualities rather than matching personalities / values and the connection we feel communicating with you?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 04:14 AM
1

These are very interesting points!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 04:04 AM
3

It’s not that men don’t think much beyond the physical when choosing women to date, it’s that they’re choosing based on compatibility, not traits that have to do with self-preservation. As love is an emotional response, it feels pretty unromantic to turn it into some sort of checklist, or practical business arrangement. What’s with this weird dichotomy between the perfect partner right now (what you say women want from men) vs the perfect partner in the future (what you say men expect of women)?…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 03:53 AM
-1

I don’t think these are common jokes lol. I feel like I’d have to go digging in an incel forum to find this shit. I think attraction is a spectrum. For a man who doesn’t like fat chicks and sleeps with them anyways, he’s experiencing a very low level of attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 01:59 AM
1

You’re underestimating how hard it is for a person to change their behavior. Your second point is valid.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 01:50 AM
3

See, this leads me back to why I said women are less visual than men. Generally, if a man doesn’t find a woman physically attractive, he doesn’t find her attractive, period, and there’s nothing she can do to change that.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 01:43 AM
2

So, you’re saying that you determine you’d like to sleep with him, and then from there all he has to do is not fuck it up by putting his foot in his mouth haha. Ok, that’s fair, I believe you. Thank you for your input.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 01:33 AM
2

That’s interesting, I’m getting a lot of pushback where people are saying I’m underestimating the effect that looks have on women, and I do wonder if that could be the case. Still, the larger point is about the specific behaviors that women find attractive in addition to looks, and how these behaviors align with gender stereotypes. I see now that the point about men and women being friends was a source of confusion, I definitely should have worded it differently. I think men and women can be fri…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 01:31 AM
5

Hmmm, well I’m definitely open to the possibility that I’m underestimating the effect that looks have on women. Regardless, I do think that behavior plays a unique role in a lot of women’s attraction. Thank you for your anecdotes.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 01:24 AM
6

Lol, that’s fair.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 12:56 AM
0

It’s much more rare, that’s why women like erotica so much. It provides more context on the man’s behaviors.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 12:54 AM
4

There’s a difference between attracted and attractive. Men make friends with women who they happen to find attractive because men find a lot of women attractive. They become attracted the more they get to know the woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/25 11:56 PM
1

I never said men couldn’t be friends with women, I said it’s something that men say. I don’t think the qualities I listed are specific to men, but they make up our societal conception of what “masculine” is. It’s largely socially constructed.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/25 11:37 PM
–

I think that you’re getting an inaccurate idea of what I think, and that’s probably a sign that I didn’t do a good enough job explaining my perspective. I think rigid adherence to masculinity or femininity is bullshit because I think it’s largely socially constructed. I don’t think women are attracted to red pill meatheads, or all of the qualities I listed, but I think they tend to be attracted to some of them, and I think they’re generally attracted to leadership qualities. I called it “masculi…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/25 11:21 PM
2

Of course they can, but it’s much more rare than the amount of men that would have sex with women they know nothing about.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/25 11:08 PM
0

Well, he wouldn't be a killer, because I'm talking about before he did that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/25 11:05 PM
5

I’m saying that if you showed a woman a picture of Luigi before he shot that CEO and asked her if she wanted to sleep with him she’d say, “No. I don’t know this man.”
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/25 10:43 PM
5

I never said that men and women couldn’t be friends, I said it’s a thing that men say, like in When Harry Met Sally. Speaking in “general truths” helps ensure that we don’t broaden everything to the point of absurdity.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/25 10:39 PM
–

Well, instead of having a meta conversation about me, how about you just tell me what you disagree with.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/25 10:35 PM
8

I believe that for a lot of women, finding someone attractive and wanting to sleep with them are two different things. If I walked up to a random woman on the street and showed her a picture of Luigi and asked if she wanted to sleep with him she'd probably say, "No, I don't know this man". I don't have proof, it's just what I believe.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/25 10:34 PM
3

I'd rather discuss the points made than get into my personal history.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/25 10:28 PM
3

It's a different axis, but that axis isn't just looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/25 10:27 PM
5

No lol what makes you think that?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/25 10:23 PM
6

Damn, I can see how my post came off as narcissistic. Do you think I'm completely off the mark?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/25 10:15 PM
3

Yes, but I think red pill guys get it backwards. Women like money, just as any human does, but money isn't what turns them on, it's what the money represents. Women don't get wet for a trust fund baby.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/25 10:03 PM
2

To me, the true test of empathy is being empathetic to people it’s not socially acceptable to have empathy for. So, if you’re in progressive circles, that’d mean having empathy for straight, white, men. If we’re to take an extreme example, it’d mean having empathy for murderers or rapists. Empathy is different than sympathy. Sympathy is feeling pity for someone and empathy is understanding the feelings of someone else. It’s obviously much harder to have empathy for murderers and rapists. It’d re…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/25 04:53 PM
5

Hmmm, that’s interesting, if I had bad depression a response of “damn that sucks” would be pretty ideal. This is because I know how to fix my depression (easier said than done) so someone offering solutions might actually register as sort of annoying and invalidating. On the other hand, men are often accused of trying to find solutions to problems, when what would be more helpful is if they just empathized, listened, and provided space for the person to vent.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/25 04:36 PM
–

I thought we all learned "two wrongs don't make a right" in the first grade...
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 07:15 PM
–

Do you have short term memory loss? "I’ll never understand why people (men here) completely overthink feminism It is simply believing that men and woman should have the same choices, rights and freedoms as each other, that’s literally it." Apparently it's not literally it, is it? It can not have this definition, and also be "for women". That doesn't make any sense. It has to be one or the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 07:10 PM
3

If you love someone enough then you should be able to choose them over your insecurities about porn
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 08:15 PM
1

Haha, maybe you’re right, I need to find my niche. I hope I can find a woman with your level of logic and honesty one day. 🙏 It sounds freeing.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 08:56 AM
2

No offense, but this is one of the most autistic statements I’ve ever heard.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 08:31 AM
4

Yeah but she cooked with this one
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 06:20 AM
7

Hmmm, I’m also sure that the internet highlights negative interactions more than positive ones. The notion of men being selfish lovers has never made much sense to me cause you’d think that validation would be a big component of sex for men. It’s massively validating when you make a woman cum!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 01:17 AM
15

Well, have you ever considered the possibility that it might simply be easier for you to get off than a lot of other women? There’s many different reasons for this that can range from religious shame to biological differences. Women vary a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 12:47 AM
–

If you didn’t expect this, then I think it’d be wise to question what other blind spots you might have, because I’m pretty sure that everyone here could have seen this coming.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 11:26 PM
6

You applied it to both sexes but it was nonsensical because obviously it is much more relevant to women. Women orgasm way less and tend to fault the man if they can’t orgasm. Where are the men who sit there, expect the women to do all the work, and then blame the women if they don’t cum? That’s not a thing. I’ve never heard that in my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 10:31 PM
8

It’s sort of shocking to see you make a post that’s critical of women, and argue with them. Never seen that before.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 10:15 PM
2

Sarcasm is cool
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 10:10 PM
7

I know it’s not what you said. What’s wrong with it? Seems pretty reasonable to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 10:08 PM
7

I think a better way to word it would be “it’s not necessarily just the man’s fault if you don’t orgasm”. There’s a lot of women who don’t even know what they want and want the man to figure it out for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 10:04 PM
6

That’s ok. I’m sorry if I sound like I’m just trying to score points for my sex, but I’d like to think that the reason I push on these points is that the obvious conclusion it leads us to is more empathy for men. These sticky conversations should be taking place, but you’re right that many men have a hard time scaling the things that women find attractive to even get to this point.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 05:24 PM
3

Ok, I interpreted it as dismissiveness, but I see the point you were making. The root isn’t just that men want to fuck more. It’s also that men and women select for different things.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 05:12 PM
9

I know you weren’t saying these traits make him a “bad person”. I’m saying other women do this. In fairness, I don’t think this is often a malicious response, they simply haven’t thought it through. If you haven’t seen this “just world fallacy” happen much, that’s fine, I can let this point go. Maybe it sounds like I’m exaggerating the rate it happens by including the point, but I think you’re underestimating it with your pushback and maybe it’s somewhere in the middle. It’s not just a “men want…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 04:55 PM
16

I agree with all of this. But I wish women would have the awareness to realize that if they were held to the same behavioral standards that men were, dating would be significantly harder and they wouldn’t be so flippant about men’s lack of success. I see it as a position of privilege that women can be bottom tier in all the traits you mentioned and still find people who are interested in dating them. I just don’t like it when these men are assumed to be bad people for failing to be attractive to…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/25 04:28 PM
4

Welp, I hope we can take away from this that men and women experience sexuality differently, and try and empathize with an experience that’s hard for us to understand.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 10:21 PM
1

Watching a good movie is my favorite thing to do. I just view the images I masturbate to like a different art form.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 10:01 PM
2

Huh, it’s really not that complicated. Simply put, most men experience something that goes like this: “This thing looks hot. Therefore, I jerk off to it.”
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 09:55 PM
2

I’d say for men the value of porn and visual imagery is a little like watching a movie. So, imagine we’ve got our tub of popcorn (maybe it has a hole in the bottom, use your imagination 👀) and we say oooh and aaah and look at her! and omg that’s so hot. Getting to watch something beautiful is as much a part of the experience as the orgasm is. The way you describe it makes it sound like this mechanical process. Like oop, one sec, lemme just hit my orgasm button. But for men, you might as well be …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 09:32 PM
1

Fascinating. For some women it’s certainly relevant to the goal, and for basically all men it is. We simply can’t cum without an object of desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 09:14 PM
1

Yes, but sexuality isn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 07:53 PM
3

Sexuality is not a choice. If you’re saying that it is, that seems like an odd way of taking an outdated conservative stereotype and framing it as something progressive.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 05:20 PM
2

A few women have responded that they don’t think about anything haha. It’s quite impressive actually!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 04:42 PM
2

This is genuinely a shocking revelation.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 04:34 PM
4

I think you’re misunderstanding what he’s saying. He’s not saying you obsess over them or anything. He’s saying you jerk off to them cause you think they’re hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 04:30 PM
1

Neurodivergent, perhaps?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 10:44 PM
1

I find it hot when women look a little tired but I'm not a big fan of acne.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 07:10 PM
3

This is the real argument, but stuff like this feels so seemingly obvious that it actually can be hard to compose these types of arguments lol. It's like trying to explain why people want to wake up in the morning. So, good job articulating something which should be common sense, and likely is, but is challenged here because of some strange tit-for-tat emotional response.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 06:29 PM
1

Ignorance absolutely is a defense against them being terrible people. Many Trumpers are absolutely convinced that Kamala is going to tank the economy, because that’s what their algorithm told them. They think that the border is broken and Trump is going to implement some tough but fair regulation. They think they’re doing the right thing. They saw enough leftists who exaggerated or lied about things, and it’s turned them into the boy who cried wolf. So now, they think his actual fascism is all a…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 05:33 PM
1

I don’t think that’s true at all. There’s a lot of good people who support terrible people because they’ve been misled by lies and propaganda.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 05:11 PM
3

I think this is a bit of a strawman. There’s plenty of men who can hide their desperation pretty damn well. They’re not all crying into their coffee.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 05:07 PM
–

Yeah, I’m always surprised that so many men don’t realized this, but maybe dating apps have helped warp the perception.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 02:04 PM
–

There’s a difference between “men only care about looks” and “men are attracted to looks, and from there consider other things to determine whether they actually like you or just want to sleep with you”.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 01:44 PM
3

Woman don’t find “forever alone” to be an insult? Huh. How many little girls grow up without any desire for love?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 11:21 PM
2

Ok, here’s a distinction I will make. I don’t think most women need an emotional connection to sleep with men. However, most of them won’t want to sleep with a man based purely off the way he looks. It’s usually a combination of looks and behavior. For instance, if you showed women a picture of Luigi Mangione before he killed that CEO, they’d be like, “who is this strange man. Why would I want to sleep with him? I don’t know him.” After he killed the CEO it’s a different story. Maybe slightly of…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 06:18 PM
3

You might be right, thank you. I don’t think demisexuality is all that common in men. Most men realize they want to sleep with you before they figure out whether they like you.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 05:08 PM
6

Yes, it’s called reactive sexuality, and it’s actually extremely common for women to have. Men here would understand women a lot better if they realized this.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 04:58 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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