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LandOnMyFeet Archive

View 40 posts and 109 comments by LandOnMyFeet on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
13

LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men27/11/19 10:40 AM
12

LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men14/02/19 03:51 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men06/02/19 05:36 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men14/02/19 10:40 AM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men18/06/19 02:44 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men07/02/19 03:15 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men06/08/20 06:18 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men31/12/19 03:34 AM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men28/12/20 06:17 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men10/02/19 05:37 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men27/01/19 02:18 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men27/11/17 03:10 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men21/07/20 10:50 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men25/03/19 06:14 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men26/11/19 01:44 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men06/12/19 06:05 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men23/07/18 06:34 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men08/09/20 10:42 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men05/02/19 03:55 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men27/01/21 01:33 AM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men21/01/19 06:36 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men22/04/20 07:03 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men25/10/19 01:25 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men23/10/18 01:05 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men05/02/18 03:06 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men27/11/17 03:21 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men23/04/20 08:58 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men16/07/20 04:43 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men08/01/19 05:49 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men11/05/21 05:27 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men17/10/19 06:07 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men01/04/19 04:21 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men30/08/17 01:06 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men07/10/19 12:39 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men19/03/20 07:00 AM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men24/01/20 06:56 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men29/10/19 05:55 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men05/10/19 07:56 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men04/11/18 12:50 PM
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LandOnMyFeet/r/Divorce_Men04/06/18 01:41 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

No. Nothing left out. When you say I owe it’s we owe if we are still married correct?
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/21 09:44 PM
2

Only focus on you right now. Sleep, good, exercise, spend time out doors, hobbies or hobby new or old. Get in touch with yourself. Sound like you have been letting someone else drive your bus way too long and you need to get back into the drivers seat.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/21 06:16 PM
2

The only thing I can add is do it for yourself, not for sex, not for love of someone else. Do it because you live yourself! Exercise and guitar gave me my base to rebuild. I’m 60 years old and I’m in better shape now than my entire mid life and better at guitar now than I was in my 20’s
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/21 12:44 PM
3

When you awaken and you become an observer!
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/21 11:26 AM
3

Immediately get a separate checking bank account. Deposit all money in that those accounts. Then start calling attorneys.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/21 12:12 PM
1

With a doubt!
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/21 08:33 PM
2

The only reason you’re here is, like us, married the wrong woman. What’s important is you woke up. It took me 15 years to start to awaken and when I finally got help and became fully awake to my marital relationship issues I was like WTF! Focus on self care.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/21 01:46 PM
6

Talk with your attorney. If you can’t afford it you can’t afford it. I can’t see it as abandonment but the courts can get crazy. Yes you’ll have child support and alimony but figure that amount as now a fixed budget item that you have to work with. Write everything down, budgets you concerns debt amount why you are making the decisions your making. You want your back up. Maybe ask her mother to take her in. Tell her why (affordability) document it and move forward. Make the best deal you can for…
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/21 02:06 PM
1

Read the book Life Lessons: Two Experts on Death and Dying Teach Us About the Mysteries of Life and Living by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. Powerful lessons. No be a man stuff, no Rationale Male stuff, no Way of the Superior Man; which I’ve read both. Read life lessons. Life is short. Most people wait too long before they awaken from a bad marriage, from chasing money, from chasing power and find out their real needs, wants and desires were never meet and they could have been. She notes something like,…
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/21 12:09 AM
2

Focus on yourself! No booze, no bars, eat as healthy as possible, exercise (in whatever way is right for you), get outside; a lot, talk long walks. Practice low/no contact with you STBX, she sounds like poison. Do what I say above and within two weeks you will start to feel amazing. As for your current situation/legal state; work on getting the best long term deal for yourself as you can get. This is about your life and don’t worry there are plenty of healthy, normal non-poisonous females out th…
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/21 10:56 PM
1

Leave. Try to practice little or no contact. Stop the kissing and hugging and for God sake no sex. All the physical stuff will muddy the water, screw with your emotions not allowing you to think straight. So yes, Run Forest Run!
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/21 11:52 PM
2

I don’t even let my daughter know I’ve gone a date. Your kids learn what you do especially your daughter(s). They say your daughter look for someone just like their father. Just something to think about.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/21 02:00 AM
2

At 6 months don’t introduce the kids. That’s way too early. You can’t control your Ex demonstrating the relationship merry go round, but you have a choice. Don’t do it for kids sake unless you’re really really serious.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/21 12:59 AM
2

Marriage is a huge legal entanglement. It’s not a business transaction. I’m 60 going through my second divorce. Most women I meet want a companion not a marital partner. I agree with the “be honest part”. You don’t want marriage now, maybe not ever. If she can’t handle it it’s not real love. Be bold be brave. There are a million women out there for you.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/21 11:55 PM
1

30 years ago probably not a problem. Today “No Way”. I have a 30 year old son. When he was 10 to 13, I was in the store and maybe he needed a swat on the bottom, I look up for cameras. I was never a but corporeal punishment father but once in awhile it’s like “Enough”! Everyone is watching and everyone is hypersensitive about everything. I wouldn’t. Take two (2) steps back and make it good quality Dad time. They will really remember that stuff over being left alone.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/21 02:56 PM
5

There is no winning! Make/take the best deal you can get for yourself to move forward with your life. If you’re thinking about winning you lost. Remember the best deal to move forward.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/21 08:38 PM
2

Not divorced yet but separated since Jun 2020. Wow! I feel so good. Even when I feel bad and lonely I still feel better than when I was with my STBX.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/21 12:37 AM
1

Could be bpd. She past menopause so I don’t think it’s pmdd.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/20 11:44 PM
1

I’m sure she knows she made a mistake, but I think she can’t control herself. This will happen again when she lets the moment overwhelm her thinking and do it again.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/20 03:49 PM
1

That’s a good idea! Keep phone recording entire time.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/20 03:46 PM
1

I didn’t but obtaining police report and sending to my attorney. Cop says county health will have to contact both of us to discuss. It’s required by law once a domestic incident is reported.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/20 11:56 PM
2

Exercising no contact right now. There must be some kind of mental illness involved.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/20 11:54 PM
1

Cop told me only to meet her in places with cameras? Like police station. Yes she called police on herself. The cop asked if she was bipolar or something and I told him I don’t know but there is definitely some type of mental illness. Totally weird!
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/20 11:53 PM
2

Thanks fir sharing.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/20 09:43 PM
1

But what do you do? Cry? I haven’t yet. I thought I was going to but then didn’t. Do you sit I. A hot bath, work out. Whatever. I was curious about action guys take.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/20 09:42 PM
2

Don’t! Tell her you will at some point but right now you want to focus on you both. Talk about interests, values, goals, dreams; what does her future look like, what does hers look like, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/20 11:15 PM
3

I’ve read the intro time for kids should be 6 to 9 months before the next female gets introduced.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/20 08:56 AM
1

No just a couple of recent CC’s we have been using to live on.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/20 11:52 PM
1

Over two months some stuff had changed
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/20 10:43 PM
3

Get outside. Forest preserves if possible. Plenty of people out there. St least you can say hello to real folks. Try journaling! Seriously, I know you’ve heard it before, but try journaling. Write it all out, it will help. Give it at least 30 days. Also try what’s called the “Magic 100 List” I know another journaling but it’s not. You can do this for anything, job, self, partner, etc. Get out a lined notebook piece of paper. Write at the top “What I want in a female partner.” Write 1 through 100…
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/20 09:42 AM
0

Yes! Run away!
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/20 12:48 PM
3

My STBX just moved out with my kid. Talk about quiet and relief. No bitching about me, no bitching about my current job, no bitching about the insurance provided to her through me at my company for which I’m employed, no bitching about what Donald Trump did or didn’t do, no arriving home to a blaring TV. Talk about relief!
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/20 04:17 PM
1

Something to keep in mind. If bankruptcy is in the future get help/advice from someone qualified. Your own 401(k) is protected but an inherited 401(k) is not.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/20 07:22 PM
3

Don’t look for that. Start flirting with anyone of attraction without the intention of getting together. You’ll get that vibe. Stay away from committing right now.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/20 11:29 AM
1

Just remember it’s hard but your worth a good life for yourself and it’s worth finding a really good partner. I truly believe that a hour quality someone for yourself is a major component and spice of a healthy happy life.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/20 06:58 PM
1

I’ve done a good amount of therapy with both a male and female counselor. Both said something like there is no such thing as s midlife crisis. People just don’t know what to call it or have to put a label on it. Matters of the heart are the most difficult things in life. Both counselors called it an awakening, but it depends on what you do when you start to awaken or realize you’ve awaken. Me, male 60, awakened a couple of years ago. Started counseling for myself, engaged in counseling with STBX…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/20 05:38 PM
1

Perfect example!
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/20 09:04 PM
6

I got some advice I thought was good. Don't discuss the whys and hows. Take the conversation in the direction of hobbies, interests, future, what each of you is looking for. Tell them your wiling to talk about what happened to you and hear what happened to them at a later date but want to gel with him or her over what is common about each other. I was told if you discuss your situations (both of you) too soon you bond over problems not interests and compatibility. Edit: Bonding over problems - Y…
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/20 09:34 PM
3

Talk with attorney and how you gonna continue to pay for the house. Moving out doesn’t relieve her from the liability.
/r/Divorce_Men29/02/20 02:44 PM
3

By the way, stay busy, renew old hobbies. Get a good therapist of two. Work through it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/20 12:25 AM
3

Taxes, cc statements, bank statements, etc. The emotional beating can be the worst of the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/20 12:15 AM
4

Work on yourself, mind, body, spirit and start collecting paperwork.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/20 09:56 PM
3

Watch how she treats others especially waiters and waitresses. Early in our marriage this nasty ugly behavior was always directed at others ad marriage carried on the anger, criticism, judgements and belittling slowly shifted toward me. Like the frog in the pot scenario. Didn’t know I was cooking until it’s too late.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/20 07:46 PM
2

And the audio is free through your local library and library app.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/20 10:00 AM
2

Be strong! Start working on yourself. Start journaling.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/20 04:12 PM
2

In Illinois I understand that everything starts at 50/50 except child support and alimony. Custody 50/50, Possessions 50/50, Alimony can be waived, Child Support cannot. I’m working on decreasing some custody (only 5 years left) for a waiver of alimony (18 years required) Get the best deal for your move forward. It’s not about winning or losing but getting the best long term deal forward.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/20 04:16 PM
6

Been there done that! You Are Seeking Clarity! You are in what’s called, “A current normal”. I saw three female therapists and two male therapists sharing my interpretation of events, over a period of a year. I wanted to make sure I’m thinking clearly. (Journal, Journal, Journal) Then talk about events, interactions, etc. Say, “This is what I see happening and what I wrote down what do you see” You don’t just want validation you want honest perspective. The good counselors tell me, If what you s…
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/20 04:11 PM
1

Free yourself! Sell, sell, sell! Work on a total new beginning!
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/20 10:33 AM
2

But you asked. If counseling is helping you keep going. Work on yourself mentally physically spiritually financially. It will pay off in helping you stay clear mentally.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/20 04:02 PM
2

A late birth. 12 year old child at home.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/20 02:14 PM
1

Agreed, it could mean the relationship could be improved/saved with counseling. Only you know your own circumstances and how far the deterioration has gone. Good question for you is, “At what point and how do you measure the line in the sand to make the firm decision to stay or leave?” 6 months, 1 year, 5 years, etc. Remember time flies. In my situation the last few years held me in kind of a stagnant environment. She acted like your not changing so let’s get a divorce. I said, “Okay”. Now that …
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/20 01:02 PM
5

Yes it’s fear! Fear of the unknown and leaving your current “Normal”. Now you can explore, dream and create a new “Normal” for yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/20 12:40 PM
16

Yes! Very common. It’s called “Hysterical Bonding”. Me, male 60, her 56. Married almost 20 years.. Background very verbally abusive marriage by spouse, she is very unhappy for a long time. I’m experiencing something similar although I haven’t filed yet, but sat down had the talk went over details, really laid out the facts. Now, there’s sex (which was non-existent), she is nicer, she is cleaning the house, getting her hair done, etc. I feel it’s a false sense of security. If I don’t follow throu…
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/20 10:43 AM
3

Yes, moving on is my direction. The reward ain’t worth the effort. It’s like I’m always coming up short!
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/19 04:27 PM
1

Being alive and marrying her.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/19 10:09 AM
1

Yes, I feel like I’m being constantly scolded.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/19 12:24 AM
0

Yikes! That’s ugly!
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/19 04:39 PM
2

Right. Not knowing what’s going to trigger an episode is the worse part of staying until I can finish the divorce. Even my 11 year old daughter asks, “Why is mommy so mad all the time?” It’s crazy!
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/19 03:28 PM
1

But can you revoke it before divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/19 03:44 PM
3

Really helpful! Awesome resource!
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/19 09:32 PM
3

Wow! Yes, I think mental preparation is key and I’ve been working on myself to protect my own mentality. Long story short, wife BDay was recent, we are broke and trying to do at least something, I got a card and her favorite cookie treat. She replies, “That’s it! You’re a miserable excuse for a husband!” Real nice. The sums up the general environment. How can I live (be married) to someone who really thinks that about me. I believe I deserve better.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/19 03:03 PM
1

Please, don’t discuss with friends. Find a good professional. It’s not weakness it’s strength. Keeping you isolated keeps you weak.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/19 01:42 AM
5

See some counselors alone! I do mean counselors. Once you find a good one work hard on yourself. Prepare yourself mentality and physically for a divorce. You will be glad you worked on yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/19 12:30 AM
2

Focus on yourself. Get a good counselor. I mean really see multiple counselors pick one and get to work. You’re writing your own story everyday. Good or bad. Rain or shine. You’re writing it. I’m almost 60 just emerged from bankruptcy, basically broke probably going to have my second divorce and I’ve got my life ahead of me. No one is coming to the rescue especially this woman. Grow, grow, grow with some good counseling guidance!
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/19 04:06 PM
1

Awesome thanks for sharing. There is life afterwards!
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/19 04:55 PM
2

Not a turn off at all for the right type of guy. I’m one of those who salsa girl if she doesn’t mind leaving both smart phones in car hole we have dinner of go to a movie. It’s going to be hard to find especially since I’m typing this on a smart phone right now.
/r/seduction19/04/19 10:10 PM
1

Nice. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/19 09:15 AM
1

Agreed. Child is the only tie that binds right now. Thanks. It’s still painful.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/19 09:45 AM
1

No just BK’d Chapter 7. Starting from zero.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/19 05:39 PM
1

I’m embarrassed but 10 years.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/19 12:49 PM
1

11 year old. Wife sleeps on couch every night with TV on and then complains about how tired she is. Total dead bedroom.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/19 09:32 AM
2

I wanted a “I like you”, “I love you” or something with some heart behind it. Not an “I think your a nice person”.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/19 09:09 PM
3

Isn’t that the world we live in now? Don’t dump on friends at work, dump on strangers on the Internet.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/19 06:25 PM
9

Yes, get everything lined up. Look up pre-divorce checklist on Google. Good guidance about what to do. Next,work on yourself. Good food, good sleep, exercise whether a little or a lot. Just move that body. Start seeing a therapist to deal with the emotional stress. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/19 05:41 PM
4

Inspirational!
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/19 03:02 PM
2

Crazy!
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/19 03:44 PM
2

I hear you. Me too.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/19 02:46 PM
5

Good luck brother! We are here for you!
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/19 01:32 PM
2

Where did you start fishing for a divorce coach?
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/19 10:34 AM
5

It’s like she’s just totally gone mental all of a sudden!
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/19 06:26 PM
3

I’m mean what the F@ck!
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/19 11:22 PM
3

I’d say go. I’ve spoken with several attorneys and mediators. Mediators noted if you wife is combative you’ll waste a lot of money with a mediator then still end up having an attorney. Go with the attorney route, cut bait and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/19 10:12 AM
1

What country?
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/19 06:11 PM
1

Yes, head is spinning with all the “How am I going to do this?” And the “How am I going to handle this?” And the “”Where do I go now?” stuff. And lastly, “How do I explain all this to friends, family and others?” Sheesh! Maybe just look at it as a way to rebuild from scratch, huh?
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/19 04:52 PM
2

I think it would be awkward but they do see the combative, constant conflict their daughter creates. Blood is thicker than water but her parents sometimes can’t stand her and have to ask her to leave their house or at least they leave the room to take refuse from the verbal attacks. I just think an email or text is so cold.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/19 04:41 PM
1

Thanks. The reason I ask is because my wife is a, for lack of a better term, “Hoarder”. Some rooms I can’t even step on the floor because of so much stuff. I believe that’s adding to my direction of divorce. I can’t stand it anymore!
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/19 10:04 AM
2

Thanks. When you say “no junk everywhere” do you mind explaining/sharing?
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/19 01:34 AM
3

Focus on yourself; 1) Get a counselor (go each week without fail and do the work - I recommend reading “Life Lessons by Elizabeth Keblow”), 2) exercise, 3) eat as well as you can and can afford (eat as real of food as you can not processed food which is chemicals made to look like food, 4) don’t medicate yourself with food, drugs or booze and 5) start socializing at park district and free library events (this will broaden and create your social base and feel good). Hope this help.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/19 02:07 PM
2

No. Started seeing a therapist immediately and began exercising. No gum just a few sit-ups here a few sit-ups there. That was July. Now I doing 309 or more sit-ups a day and have incorporated some dumbbell lifting. No drugs and never felt better. It’s the relationship that was dragging me down.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/19 10:20 AM
2

Discuss imputed earnings with your attorney. With that level of pay an income would be assigned, hence, imputed to het side.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/19 10:17 AM
3

Look up “Divorce Checklists .pdf” in Google. Make your own list from every checklist that applies to your situation. Then start asking for free attorney consultations. Gather as much info and educate yourself as much as you can before pulling the trigger. It’s a process. It will give you more time to think and come up with better questions and answers.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/18 03:29 PM
1

Yikes!
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/18 04:19 PM
1

We are broke with no credit since the recent discharge of chapter 7. We have little if any equity which would be chewed up to make a few needed repairs to make the house sellable. So thoughts were to strategically default to drag through a 2 to 3 year foreclosure process so child could finish grammar school then move on. We must chsr your own way but thought complete the divorce now, with only share remaining debt/asset (the house), stretch out foreclosure so we can use the money for other thing…
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/18 04:18 PM
3

I don’t know how to score it. Just thought writing out any thought might give me more clarity, insight and preparation for pulling the trigger. One thought I had that I put in the worst that can happen with divorce and best that can happen with divorce is: I lose everything! (Forcing me to start raw from the ground up. With everything, business, job, relationships, place to live, friends, schedule, etc. Everything!) The more I thought about it it could go both ways. I thought of this as a proces…
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/18 01:54 PM
4

No, never! The sooner you are detached the better. Date? Tricky word means many different things to different people. Me, I got involved with divorce groups with general outings for hiking, county fairs and such. Meet lots of different folks. Give yourself a chance to still connect with new women but without the pressure of one on one date. Some women you meet will look good on the outside but as you chat you will find out they are way, way more f@cked up than you are and you should run away. I’…
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/18 08:11 AM
3

Agreed. I’m not had the chat yet with my 12 year old, but I counselor told me, “Kids are smart. They probably already know. They can sometimes see everything more clearly than you can.”
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/18 05:07 PM
1

Just figure a mediator is $1,500 to $2,500 for the entire divorce. An attorney will be in the ballpark of $5,000 each and usually require a large retainer. Depending on the state your in, the mediator may be required to be a license attorney so if not required in your state to be licensed look for a mediator who is a licensed attorney. If not a lot to fight about or you both can agree don’t let attorneys decide for you.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/18 12:40 PM
3

Forgot lawyer, they will disagree with everything you’re agreed to. Get a mediator who can produce the legalese of what you agreed to. Attorneys will bleed you both!
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/18 06:50 PM
1

Go to all the free thirty minute consultation s as possible until you find someone you like who will give you a break.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/18 07:25 PM
10

Bottom Line: If the love is not there it’s not there. It may take years of therapy to fixed but those years might be wasted if it never gets fixed. Usually it doesn’t get fixed. I’m in something similar. It sucks but I can’t go on being only a meal ticket and provider without any kind of love. After all I am still a human being.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/18 04:06 PM
5

I would say you are broken both financially and emotionally. With that said, I’m number crunching my financial issues before telling spouse I’m going to divorce her. I had a business go bad and just lost over 1 million dollars. Can’t afford house of 15 years with or without her. For me the emotional turmoil is something you have to work on and through everyday. Some days will be good and some days will be bad. Some days you will feel optimistic and some days you will feel pessimistic. Just know …
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/18 06:30 PM
2

So you skip the attorney all together or the attorney participates in the process?
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/18 07:41 PM
1

I’ve been divorced once. My goal in divorce was to always be talking with my STBX about “What’s best for each of us to end up with the best outcome”. The more the attorneys are involved the less money to split. Both attorneys are fighting it out at both of your expenses. While at a divorce support group I listen to one gal talk about how she will fight until nothing is left and both are bankrupt. I said, “Do you hear yourself? You would rather ruin both your lives and the lives of your children …
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/18 12:22 PM
1

Wow! Similar to my ups and downs. First calling me an asshole, giving me the finger, telling me I’m a dreamer who never gets anything done (Small note, she is kind of a hoarder, clothes piled 3 feet high in closet, clothes over every inch of bedroom floor and such) but I’m the total asshole because I won’t clean up. Then the silent treatment for days then suddenly back to normal like the entire thing didn’t even happen. If I tell her she really needs to get help or suggest she is being verbally …
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/18 05:50 PM
1

I agree with finding a female attorney who can really dish it out. I did years ago and it worked out just fine.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/18 06:04 PM
3

No easy way! Interview, interview, interview. Narrow down choices then select from the attorneys who will meet with you again for no charge to discuss your follow up questions. Then make a choice. It a process but worth all the work!
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/18 12:49 AM
2

Really?
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/18 05:15 PM
3

Good point. BK brings out all the “You should have..”, “If we just would have ....”, “I knew you should not have done ....”, “You or we (which usually means me) have to backtrack to see how this happened, etc. Or more frustrating the “You just need a better job you can’t keep doing what you doing” or “the job you have has shit insurance (at least it has insurance, my self employment health insurance jumped to $2,500/month so I took a job where it’s still $600/month but better than $2,500/month),…
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/17 05:05 PM
2

Illinois one child (10) going through Bk First then looking to file. A combative spouse so I expect it to get ugly.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/17 02:15 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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