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MightBusiness7231 Archive

View 11 posts and 244 comments by MightBusiness7231 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

She just needs a break from the kids waking her up at night and early morning. We worked it out. I'm also stopping her from doing any dropoffs or pickups, which she was doing so I wouldn't pay a nanny.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 02:28 PM
5

Free, LOL. I pay the mortgage. Anyway, we reconciled.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 03:03 AM
5

That's just it. She was never asked to discipline the kids. In fact I told her to avoid it. But by some fate, we reconciled anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 03:02 AM
2

I totally get what you're saying. I was in shock when I wrote this. Long story short she's been into me for 2 decades. She's in love with me. There's more but in the last 4 hours we essentially reconciled.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 02:59 AM
-1

She is on her period. We had sex that morning. It was obvious and discussed. And yes, she is menopausal. And obviously, you are a woman hanging out in a men's community.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 02:49 AM
2

She sees my Ex, who she hates, in at least one of my kids. So she tries the tough love, because my Ex is a spoiled middle age brat. But that said, I agree with beloved Aunt. Exactly correct for a step Mom, particularly with a young daughter.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 02:45 AM
2

No I don't. I've actually been super firm about boundaries from the beginning and she's gone along-- until she didn't.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 05:03 PM
1

Yes pretty much. I've been clear that I should be "the heavy" on discipline and she should just steer clear. But she has preconceived notions of how things should get done. Her nieces and nephews, of course, are perfect, and also have never been through a traumatizing divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 03:42 PM
1

She's really not toxic. She's legitimately the kindest person I know. I was with a manipulator before so I know how to spot them.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 03:21 PM
2

Thank you. I'm giving her her space.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 03:17 PM
-1

She has plenty of say in parenting, but yeah, I'm their parent.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 03:05 PM
1

Yes it is a big adjustment for her, although she practically raised her youngest nephew during the pandemic. She's amazing with kids too. I need to get her to verbalize what she thinks her path is, which right now is just run away to nothing better.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 03:03 PM
2

She's the reverse. She was clinging to one guy for like 15 years and he never committed. He was military, always deployed, and fucking around, and she just tolerated it. With me I am the opposite: committed, emotionally available. We get along really well. But I do think there is an element of self sabotage here.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 03:02 PM
2

That might be it. Yes I can trust her, I just can't trust that her emotions won't change suddenly. She can be moody a fraction of the time but is generally warm and wonderful and a peach. I've communicated my frustration that I've been ALL IN on this and she's taking a passing feeling and trying to shake up everything.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 03:00 PM
1

I'm listening, she just went from literally having our kids at Church on Friday holding hands to "I don't want to do this anymore" at 3PM the next day. This could be a passing mood. Honestly I'm expecting her to come back from an errand as if nothing happened. I'm oddly at peace about it because I've done nothing wrong. I've listened, I've sympathized, I've tried to find ways to make things better. But I've also been clear since day zero, that my job (to pay bills) and my kids come first and wha…
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 02:56 PM
1

Apart from being in love with me, I pay the bills, I care for her, we get along together. She's had a rough year with her Dad dying, her shitty job that is beneath her level. The job is fixable. The Dad isn't of course, she needs therapy to talk about her grief. She's also upset I can't take vacations-- I can't not work, as I am not salaried with paid vacation or anything.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 02:51 PM
2

We were engaged to be married. But fair point.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 02:11 PM
1

No. Child support is what you pay. That goes to support the child not what she rents.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/25 05:06 PM
5

Have the hard talk now about how to be an adult, and lay out your conditions for living with you. If she gives the smallest bit of pushback, dump her. She doesn’t seem like an adult, she seems like a little girl.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 12:49 AM
11

What court order is making you pay her legal bills?
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 12:01 PM
4

That's what she did to me. She had a divorce filing ready to go but never told me until I told her she had to earn more money or stop spending. She even went to f-ing marriage counseling knowing she had no interest.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 10:26 PM
2

It's so prevalent that I want to say all American women too. But I happen to be with a normal one now. But the latest generation seems to be having a reset. I see young Catholic couples in church all the time. Third wave feminism sold them lies and destroyed their families. Men, pick your wives carefully, set expectations from step zero, if you choose to get married.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 07:40 PM
12

American women. I think our culture has destroyed women.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 06:16 PM
19

Women are vastly more emotional and less rational than men. They do things for emotional validation and recognition and not because it makes any productive purpose.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 02:01 PM
8

Dating apps. Men in their 50s are highly prized. Just have fun, don’t rush into anything. Most American women are not worth the effort of commitment, honestly.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 03:12 PM
5

It does get better but it takes a long time and you need a mental reset. Make peace with the past, and focus on your future, even if it’s one day at a time. Praying couldn’t hurt. My divorce had me rediscover God and it has been a rock of my sanity. Churches are also awesome support groups. Get up, make your bed, do some exercise, eat breakfast, go to work, listen to an audiobook in the car, get home, cook a meal that you love, listen to music, get into a hobby or work extra shifts. Here’s a lis…
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/24 11:40 AM
3

You’re in the hell years. Don’t get divorced over this stuff. Women are insane after they have a baby. Do the therapy. Find out why she’s resentful. Maybe you can fix it together. If it ends in divorce she will take half of your stuff, you’ll get less than 50/50 time even if you’re prepared to care for an infant (you’re not if she’s breastfeeding) and no, wherever the mother is is likely where the kid will go to school. It’s a broken process and it fucks men over. If you can fix a 10-year relati…
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 02:25 PM
4

You got fucked over by her because she —like most American women— are grown children who have no idea what they want and choose to do things based on passing feelings and not planning. You were indulgent instead of putting up boundaries and so she used you. Get to the gym not to be in shape but to sleep soundly every night and improve your mood. Focus on self development. If you need sex date or find someone who just wants sex. There are plenty of women out there who just want sex with a decent …
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 05:20 PM
1

Lawyers make more money dragging it out. Assume he’s lying.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 07:37 PM
2

Get a trial date set. Lawyers don’t give a shit if it takes forever so the only way is to get it to court, where the judge will force her to settle.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 04:54 PM
8

Don’t move out. It’s your home. Don’t show any emotions around her. Don’t give her any excuse to claim violence etc. I will differ from the guys here and say don’t go straight to a lawyer. Calmly ask her what she wants to do. Your marriage is over so there’s no point incinerating money with a lawyer yet. Ask her how she thinks it’s fair to proceed and have an adult conversation. If you can iron something out THEN jointly consult a lawyer to have it written out. That will save you $100k. Good luc…
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 02:56 PM
3

Yes. There are lots of better women out there.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/24 02:30 PM
2

Replace that with American women. Women from other cultures understand men are human beings. American women have been spoiled, then empowered to do whatever TF they want with feminism and a divorce system that helps them.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/24 02:25 PM
1

She can’t allow you to have any happiness. She probably followed you.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/24 10:29 AM
9

lol. I can’t imagine why men would be bitter against a corrupt system and completely garbage human beings/wives as their lives are expensively torn apart.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 02:03 PM
9

They do almost everything for attention
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/24 06:35 AM
1

They’re mainly children, incapable of adult responsibility. Sad but true. Find the 15% who are adults.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/24 06:29 AM
2

100%
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 08:02 PM
2

Also get the 3 year old’s vaccination and wellness records and schedule. The twins are her problem. She will try to pretend she can’t work so you pay alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 07:14 PM
3

Your wife is an asshole. She only cares about herself. You are tied to this bitch for the next 15 years whether or not you want to get divorced. She’s not emotionally available and you are just a paycheck to her. She will call the police on you the second she thinks you might divorce her so watch your behavior, document and file everything, stay off drugs and alcohol and get therapy to manage your anger— which is justified. Divorce will cost you at least $100k.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 07:12 PM
0

You would file and then make an emergency order for child support. The difference in your incomes would determine how much she pays you. She will probably try to weaponize the justice system with false claim of abuse, so document everything you can with video. It sounds like you are doing the majority of the parenting, which is good for you. I’m not sure you’d get alimony: depends on the state and how long you were married. I recommend paying only half the kid’s and household expenses.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/24 09:44 PM
3

God bless
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/24 10:46 PM
1

Yes. Women are children. They will delude themselves and you can’t make them think any differently. She can delude herself for decades of until she dies, but all that matters is you know the truth.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 11:52 AM
2

Your marriage is over. You can’t reconcile with someone who has moved out. Don’t get me wrong, like many women I would expect your ex will try to crawl back if she finds separated life being less cushy and fun than she expected, but your romance and marriage are dead. It’s time to move on. Your kids will not care who filed. They will discover that you tried to reconcile and she didn’t. Get a good mediator if you want to keep costs down and get the divorce done as painlessly as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 11:50 AM
1

I had the same thing happen. I picked the wrong woman but got 2 amazing kids out of it. I could have married someone much better for me decades ago but wouldn’t have my current kids, I’d have different kids, maybe more, maybe less. And my STBX, she would never have kids with anyone except for me. No other man was ever going to marry her let alone date her. Despite all the pain, I’d do it again for my kids. I can’t imagine any other way and just because it’s been painful and this is a low point i…
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 07:53 AM
3

1-7 and 12-15 are identical behaviors to my soon to be ex.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 11:06 AM
9

Reddit is generally unusable. It’s a space of support for the right people as long as those people aren’t men.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 10:44 AM
2

No need to introduce this woman who statistically won’t last and not sure spending holidays with her and your family is right but no harm introducing her since kid is an adult. It might just look silly later when you break up.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 07:47 PM
4

You can private message me dude. I have 2 young kids too. The wait until court is terrible. First of all fuck her. Second: Unsolicited advice: take time twice a day to pray or meditate and offer gratitude. You don’t have it worst of all people and you can see what good things you have in life. Exercise in any way for at least 15 minutes. Try to enjoy distractions: comedy, cult movies, home improvement shows, whatever. Lastly let your kids know you’re there for them unconditionally but you can’t …
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/23 04:04 PM
2

$15,000
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/23 02:51 AM
3

I’m going on 18 months now. We have a pre trial scheduled in Q1 after GAL report is due. She told my son “the GAL will say I’m a bad mommy because you were out of control during the visit.” I told him not to worry, that adults know 8 year old boys act like 8 year old boys.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/23 08:52 PM
1

I started dating immediately. It was fun until it wasn’t. I wasn’t any good for these women other than a good lay. But it was a distraction. Now I have no interest in the apps.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 03:46 PM
13

Dude tell me about it. I'm 47 and in the same boat except 2 young kids. My wife made vows she never intended on honoring when the going got tough, and by tough I mean basic life realities. I nearly killed myself at the low when our marriage fell apart, regretting that the love went away, but it was all an illusion in the first place. Women who throw away their vows with a dedicated man are just garbage. You can have those moments you love with your kids, but she was never really there for you. H…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 04:31 AM
2

Get on antidepressants. Join a sports team and make friends. Join a church and go to the potlucks and the coffees. Get outdoors.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/23 01:57 AM
3

Yes a little. It will go up because I’m getting contract work
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/23 12:58 PM
3

I’ll share pics of my kids with her and she does so much less seldom. I find an instinct to want to share what’s going on with them and she doesn’t engage. Point in case, my daughter has had disruptive sleep patterns lately, so I asked if she also experienced it. “I don’t know (aka I don’t want to engage.” Sucks for the kids. She wants to make her own feelings the only thing that matters.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/23 12:43 PM
2

Yeah I probably should be on an antidepressant.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/23 12:41 PM
2

Red flag. Dump.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 11:13 PM
2

I began saying No and stopped doing everything to please her.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/23 01:54 PM
1

It’s human nature for you to care, but these are her problems to deal with first and foremost. If she won’t make any effort on them, your help won’t be of aid. Does she know she should be in therapy? Is she even open to that?
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/23 11:44 AM
1

Your kids need you. You gave up your time but you need those kids to know they are number 1.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/23 07:33 AM
1

Before she filed I was very sad she was not working on the marriage. Once I realized I never had a chance it was easier when she filed. I just said okay, well, it’s going to get worse for her, and that’s her choice.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/23 07:31 AM
1

You can delay the divorce as long as you need
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 02:53 PM
2

How old is your son? I’ll be controversial and channel Jordan Peterson who says the later you can delay divorce, assuming there’s not massive conflict in the household, the better it is for the children. Mine are 8 and 3. Divorce is a terrible option at this point but it’s what she chose. My son and daughter are definitely negatively impacted by our choices.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 02:52 PM
2

I fought for years to repair our marriage but she was never engaged. I thought it was avoidant behavior for her to tackle her own issues, but it wasn’t, she was just checked out. You know your experience better than we do, but mine is that when a woman says “do you want to….?” What she’s really saying is “I’m a fucking coward and I want to….” It doesn’t seem she wants to work on it. You can’t do it alone. Women are shitheads and she will want to be pardoned for not caring. You’re likely better o…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 11:04 AM
1

Because the schedule for anything less than 50/50 discounts everything you pay for as if you don’t exist.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 11:07 PM
3

Women are entitled, emotional children generally incapable of taking responsibility. They act on emotion and then later cry when consequences happen. My STBX is the same way. I have to coparent with a child who is resisting being civil or cooperating.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 05:03 PM
1

Get help, hit the gym up, and keep busy. It’s the only way to fill the hole in you.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 04:59 PM
5

It sucks. My wife did the same. I was all in. She had written me off and didn’t have the balls to own it. Our therapist had to basically tell me she wasn’t interested in making it work. Her life will suck more, and she’ll be poorer, but she’s a child mentally so she doesn’t know what consequences are.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 04:57 PM
3

I wish i could upvote this more
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 04:56 PM
8

Yes she’s realizing you were worth keeping, but not honoring. She fucked up.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 04:44 PM
1

Modern women are terrible. They try to be men and then are miserable. Then they export that misery to their spouses. Meanwhile, men have had to maintain their traditional roles while being steadily devalued. Society is fucked.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/23 11:47 AM
4

She didn’t love the first time
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/23 11:41 AM
4

That’s not correct. It depends on the state. GALs in my state are very fair and almost always rule 50/50. If you’re a good Dad and have your shit together, and you love your kids, a good GAL will see that and be fair. Judges who see a Dad refuse a GAL may retaliate.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/23 11:41 AM
1

Jesus Christ what a terrible woman.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 12:36 AM
1

Yes, that's the situation. They promise the world and then settle in the end, and the bitterness is directed at the spouse, not the lawyer. When this is over I will explore trying to get the guy disbarred. I'm not joking.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 08:09 PM
1

Not sure if have tips. I have parenting testimonials from people who know me. I document all of the progress I’ve made with the kids like the things we did and they leaned with my parenting. I document all of the coparenting I do and each time she rebuffs it or doesn’t cooperate. I’m at 43/57 right now as part of a temporary order so that we could inform the kids of the separation. But I never wanted it to be permanent. She’s crazy and doesn’t trust anyone parenting (not even her Dad)
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 07:16 PM
6

Right now I just think about all the $$ she is wasting that can go to our kids.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 02:17 PM
4

Yes of course. What I mean is, even though 50/50 is a fait accompli, she fights it. There’s actually a lot we do agree on: religion, schools, etc. But not the most important thing, time.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 12:46 PM
6

We can’t agree on anything, even things that are in law.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 12:43 PM
3

Think of a man and take away reason and accountability and you have most women.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 12:28 PM
1

Women are insane. They don’t use reason for anything, other than how to get their own emotional needs satisfied.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/23 09:52 AM
3

First of all, know that it’s natural. You were with this woman for 24 years. You were dedicated and proved that through a generation. Your feelings of guilt show someone who truly is a giver to others. Get a therapist and work through cognitive behavioral therapy on this guilt. I presume you were the one who left, and if so, you have your reasons and they are legitimate after 24 years. If she left you, then we’re in the same boat.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 01:53 PM
2

Telling someone they’re obviously being neglected or abused when they shared their story in detail is basic human kindness.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 09:45 AM
1

They all suck. But talk to them. Mediators are mutually agreed between the parties.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 07:19 AM
1

4 month old and she’s black out drunk? Get the police involved. Your baby could end up dead.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 07:16 AM
1

I know the feeling. You can’t rewind time and time that has passed probably wasn’t as good as you thought it was. You have to avoid bars. Alcohol is a depressant and won’t help. Go on really long walks, hit the gym, listen to audiobooks or music when you’re walking or working out. Pray, meditate. Focus on some hobbies. I’ve found woodworking and fixing things makes me feel whole. Also gardening. I just adopted a dog about 3 days ago and that’s helping. Therapy is critical.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 07:12 AM
2

Don’t push for something you’re not ready for. You’re still hurt and there’s nothing wrong with being alone. When you turn the corner you’ll be ready to date again.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 06:52 AM
1

I’m a 20 minute drive with traffic to my kids’ school, and 10 min with no traffic. Anything more than 30 seems like a lot of sunk time.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 06:47 AM
6

You probably lost everyone at “identify as a man.”
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 06:45 AM
12

It kills me that you’ve been so giving to this man and he can’t be happy with it. He seems like a total asshole. Men can certainly be monogamous. There are ways of keeping it interesting without fucking other women, especially with a woman who is as giving as you are. Divorce sucks, so I would propose marriage counseling, but what you’ve written tells me he probably won’t engage. You deserve to have someone who cherishes you.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 06:40 AM
2

She’s got to live her life too
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/23 01:13 PM
1

Hahahaaha
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/23 01:13 PM
1

Dump away. I know it hurts. PM me if you need. Are you going to the gym?
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/23 01:10 PM
2

Same here. Honestly I felt bad for her. Her pictures were not flattering so she sold herself short. She had no details other than she’s a piece of meat. I can’t imagine what kinds of men are going to reach out that she’d want.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/23 01:06 PM
3

Parenting plans can be as detailed or short as you need. The courts don’t really care. If your spouse is the type that wants details the thinking out details it can help. If they’re combative the shorter the better.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/23 01:05 PM
1

Expensive
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/23 01:01 PM
1

They just collude to bill their clients for as much as possible. They’re like strippers.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 02:32 AM
3

You have no kids. Go for it! Men can live so much freer without an anchor.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 02:31 AM
3

I would despise a man who wouldn’t do everything to be with his kids. It pains me to think of that poor boy wanting Daddy and not having him be there. And I’ve been that man sometimes, at work too late, but always set aside time for quality.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 02:28 AM
5

I’m so sorry dude. First what she did to you is insane. No sane woman moves in with a guy that quickly when she’s married. She’s bipolar or just utter trash. Accept that you should have dodged that bullet in the first place. That said I miss the affection from my wife too and can’t offer great answers. I’ve taken up woodworking and built furniture, I try to hit the gym 3-4 times a week and then the sauna. I go to church. And I pray every night. Has it helped? Maybe. Therapist told me to write do…
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 01:56 AM
2

Debt gets split like assets. She should I pay you half the amount to service it or just pay down half of it directly to the lender and you take the rest.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 01:49 AM
2

Women really are on the large part stupid. A lawyer — usually a man— tells them what they want to hear and charges $800 an hour to do so, but their own spouse could give a dose of basic knowledge and it’s like organ rejection.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/23 06:04 PM
3

Mine wants to give me close to 50/50 but be paid off a schedule that pretends she has 2/3-1/3 which jacks up her payment. She's pure scum. She also didn't dip into any of her property during this marriage. It was all me being a simp. She thinks she can get out of this without paying anything. Doesn't take her career seriously, so she wants to use me as an ATM for the next 18 years.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/23 02:09 PM
1

Rationally talking to a woman is like rationally talking to a menstruating grizzly bear about why the salmon in your hand isn’t hers.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/23 05:44 AM
10

Everyone I know has paid the poorer person to go away.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/23 05:10 AM
1

Buy “moms house dads house.” Depends on the age but I have young kids (7 and 3). I told my son that Daddy was getting a home office and that he and his sister would have rooms there with his toys etc. I told him it was near things he liked. Told him he’d spend time with me and spend time with his Mom and there would be two houses and no arguing. He literally jumped up and down and we toured my new place. The 3 year old loves Daddy’s house.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/23 04:59 AM
1

Divorce lawyers in Massachusetts waste their clients time knowing the courts are going to be very formulaic about the outcome. They keep people arguing while joking with opposite counsel. They suck.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/23 04:38 AM
3

You’re not alone. I’m in the same boat. I miss her. I also have about 2 friends in this city (Boston) and it’s hard to meet new people. Been dating, but it’s hard to project that optimistic energy when you feel dead inside. I’ve been going to the gym and that helps for half of the day. My time with my kids keeps me busy so I can’t think of my worries then. It’s just how do I fill up the other time alone. I’m unemployed at the moment so I have nowhere to go. I’ve been going to church and that kil…
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/23 04:07 AM
3

You’re not ready. Get laid a lot. It’s natural for you to want kids. My kids are totally worth my shitty marriage and divorce, so you can cross that bridge later and try to pick well. They’re not all terrible. But you’re not ready based on what you’re saying. Have fun.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/23 03:56 AM
6

Same dilemma here. Single mothers are all f--ed up, single women want kids. It would take enormous trust for me to do that, and I don't have that for women at all right now.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/23 03:03 PM
2

Same here. Good mother, horrendous wife and just all around selfish person.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/23 07:39 PM
7

I am happy for you. What a nightmare process. I despise lawyers and think they need their own special place in hell. I don't think you should be able to get married in America without a pre-nuptial agreement and a parenting agreement set up front.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/23 07:15 PM
3

You won't let your kid be homeless or starving. She is an adult and can figure shit out. She can get food stamps, charity, and a goddamn job like normal people.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/23 07:11 PM
2

My STBX wife did this to me. Bitched any time I was out with friends, called my friends weird and tried to get me to not be friends with them. She’d also refuse to do couple things with my couple friends. It was all a means of control.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 03:31 PM
2

It’s like you were spying on my marriage. She’s a narcissist. Get divorced. People who are incapable of apology aren’t equipped for a relationship. You can’t make her happy and she is strangling you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 01:51 PM
7

Telling people not to date for an arbitrary period of time just isn't good advice. It completely depends on an individual's circumstances, their patterns of behavior, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/23 04:00 PM
8

Don't find a woman. Find like 20 of them. Date. Play the field. Socialize. Avoid looking for romance or attachment and just enjoy being you, but you don't have to be a monk.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/23 03:59 PM
2

If you're looking to dating for happiness, that's the problem right there. Fun and happiness are different things. Keep busy. Work out, etc. sure. Also go out and get laid. It reduces stress, it makes you feel alive, and you can do fun activities with new people. Avoid a relationship until you are ready, but by all means, date.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/23 03:58 PM
1

She can allege assault at any time and the timing of when she’s served doesn’t matter at all. Courts see through the BS. All that matters is his daughter.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/23 12:29 PM
1

Don’t beat yourself up. It sounds like she reacted well to the news. Just keep distant and yes no answers and no excuses for her to call the police. File a temporary custody order proposal now for 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/23 12:27 PM
2

Good luck. You'll win. My STBX's scumbag lawyer tried to calculate our temporary child support payment as if we were at 2/3-1/3 when we are in fact much closer to 50/50 (at 43/57-- essentially 1 night away from equality). I was laid off so 50/50 means she pays me, whereas 2/3-1/3 means I pay her. This is Massachusetts. My (as far as I can tell incompetent) lawyer tried to get me to net the 50/50 and 2/3-1/3 payments to come up with a figure, which means I would owe her, while I have no income. I…
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/23 03:48 AM
2

I’ll disagree with the consensus. There’s nothing wrong with going on dates and getting attention from women. My first successful date with a woman was like lightning. It was like “oh right, that’s what it feels like to have someone be into you.” It doesn’t make you less lonely but it’s a distraction while you work on you. Just don’t get into anything serious.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 10:39 AM
1

WTF do you think women like that want? I don't understand it, but part of me thinks they agitate so they can be dominated. Once dominated, they calm the fuck down. It's just a theory. But then, there are also miserable fucking women who just will never be happy and like a target.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 04:08 PM
3

You are raising 2 kids who are not your own! You are a fuckin Saint. She only cares about losing you as a resource. If she makes you miserable, get out.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 04:06 PM
2

Don't move out and don't give her any reason to call the cops. If she does call the cops, be 100% friendly and honest with them about the situation. Unless you are an abuser, drug addict/drunk with DUIs you will get 50/50 in most states. It will be hard to parent half the time with half the resources, but you can do this.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 04:01 PM
1

100%. They have one at the other house. Going to add one. Thanks for the reminder.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 11:51 PM
1

I am currently at the "I am never getting married again" phase. Marriage offers nothing to men in America. She feels like she won a trophy and then when she's not feeling it she takes half your shit.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 10:25 PM
7

Yes. She is seeing the calm parent do things and will be a stronger woman for it. And my son smiles more.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 05:12 PM
13

She didn't ask me. My son asked if Mommy could be at drop-off-- I was at drop-offs last week on her time. I'm not going to deprive my kids of comfort because their Mom is an asshole and I don't like her.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 05:11 PM
8

Thanks. She has frizzy hair and it gets in her face, which looks miserable. But when her braids are in, she's so happy. Plus, it makes our bath routine go better. Her Mom was sending her to school with un-brushed hair and nothing in it, etc. because that's the way she was raised (to not give a fuck). One of the assistant teachers was braiding her hair during school, and I found out my sister in law was asking "does anyone ever brush her hair?" So I stepped up on this one.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 04:37 PM
3

No doubt. I meant before. That's part of why she cheated. She proved herself to be someone who will cheat if you don't give her what she wants, and won't communicate her needs or try to work on it, so the only way you can stay married is if you are going to just do it for her. If that's not you, take this upper hand and divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 04:31 PM
10

It's not seeking validation. I want the kids to be smoothed into the transition because they don't know the schedule yet and the 3-year-old in particular is confused. I really don't give a fuck about her. She's been talking shit about me for 7 years to my relatives. But it's going to be nice for the people she's lied to about me to see through her BS. Some of them won't. But most of them will.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 04:29 PM
0

You have to speak the other person’s love language, even when it’s hard— if you care. And she should definitely appreciate yours. My STBX refused to even try and it ate me alive and made me want to cheat. If you won’t make the effort, divorce. She’s done you a favor really because you need to find someone who appreciates how you show love.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 04:01 PM
2

Okay so money is a factor. She found out you don’t owe alimony because she cheated and so she can’t screw around with this guy — who makes less I am guessing— and do it on your dime. Out of curiosity, how did your wife want attention & affection that you couldn’t offer?
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 03:48 PM
3

She tried to monkey branch and that guy dumped her ass. And you are now useful again so she's hoping you're a simp and will take her back. Definitely ask for the post-nup. She'll refuse. I always say try to work it out when there is no abuse and kids are in the picture. But she sounds like a terrible human being, unless there are some really good reasons to cheat.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 03:24 PM
2

Just standard language that lets the divorce happen quickly. Mine was the same. She and you could fix the marriage, but she's an asshole and won't make the effort, so yeah, it's irretrievably broken.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 02:26 PM
3

Thanks for the offer. I lost all my friends when we moved here, and as a Dad in an abusive marriage, I wasn't able to make new friends. She was, I wasn't. I know about 3 people in this city.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 04:06 PM
5

It's a great motivation. If helping yourself and being better is going to stick it to her, all the better.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 02:38 PM
3

Congratulatons are in order. This process has made me think all lawyers are scum. They lie to these emotional women that they'll get what they want, and then let the mediators do the dirty work. I'm about 2 weeks out from our temporary custody arrangement beginning. This is the lowest point of my life. I know I'll survive but I am expecting things to get even worse, not better.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 02:37 PM
2

You invest in someone and then they do something stupid that irreparably damages a relationship that could have been saved. Maybe you were going through a bad patch and things would get better. Maybe you were simply disillusioned at what marriage would be like and you're acting childishly. The relationship, particularly when there are kids involved, is something worth keeping a lot of the time.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/22 04:09 PM
1

Insist on a prenuptial agreement. She's going to say you don't trust her, and that's not the case. You don't trust future her and vows are worth dogshit. Shit will happen in the coming years -- mainly boring life stuff-- and suddenly her feelings will take over and a divorce will happen whether you want it to or not. You should say the fact you don't want a prenuptial agreement makes me think you're already planning an out. You can have an iron-clad prenuptial agreement that holds up written for…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/22 01:51 PM
1

Falsifying an order of protection is illegal. Regardless, you're just in for a ridiculously expensive and vindictive trial. This guy's spouse isn't violent, she's just lazy. If you think it's going to help him to go nuclear on her, you're wrong. And if it goes to trial, he'll look like the asshole tying up the court's time when they have actual criminals and drug addicts with kids who they need to deal with.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/22 04:11 PM
1

Well for one the "secure exclusive use of the house" is not going to happen in most states unless he's the only one on the mortgage, and even then a court is not going to like it if you evict a spouse who will then need maintenance. Barring an order of protection, getting a spouse out of a house is not easy nor respected by courts.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/22 01:42 PM
1

These further details show she’s got issues. Asking to make dinner is an attack? You don’t have any boundaries with her. Read “No more mister nice guy.” It’s on audible too.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/22 11:00 AM
2

I have to say I think this is a bad take, and most likely not even legal in most states. I’d straight to divorce is the only path, talk to a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/22 10:57 AM
2

My first thoughts too. She needs to know what he needs and that he’s serious. But she’s also probably turned off by him being a pushover.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/22 10:55 AM
2

To be honest, I would have killed for 3 times a month, sex-wise. She seems lazy or disengaged (maybe depressed?) and you obviously care but sounds like you’ve not been blunt enough. You’re going to beat yourself up if you just get divorced without counseling. Lay out what you need: I need this: more sex, better treatment of me. I need you to work on these things in therapy. If she works at it, good. If she doesn’t, divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/22 10:53 AM
1

She's still legally my wife. Nothing getting around that.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/22 09:05 PM
1

I would probably share the pictures, even though she wouldn't reciprocate. I just mentioned to my wife today that we should do a family picture and her reaction is "we should do separate pictures." I'm like, it's for the kids idiot, not for you. Her ability to be self centered and personalize everything is really astounding.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 04:04 PM
1

Yes. I only was easy this round for temporary orders because our daughter is 3. She will continue to ask ask ask because she is emotionally 14.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 11:41 AM
1

Yeah, the system is totally f-ed up.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/22 08:10 PM
11

Amen brother. American women, and perhaps western women in particular, pay lip service to equality, but then demand your money and control of everything. They're emotional, spoiled children who want supremacy, not equality.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/22 05:20 PM
2

There is absolutely such a thing as being amicable with an ex and many people are like that and have a business-like relationship with their Ex. That's healthy. He's successfully co-parenting with his Ex. Not everyone has this of course, but it's not uncommon. Everyone needs to decide what is working for them, and if he says he's amicable with his ex and this is for his daughter, that makes sense to me.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 07:49 PM
2

I’m sorry. PM me if you need to talk. I’m in divorce process now as Dad of 2 kids.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 03:47 PM
3

Whenever you’re a good guy in an abusive relationship there is almost always another woman looking at you wishing she was yours, irrespective of if she knows how bad you have it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 03:46 PM
2

My therapy story is so similar. Your therapist probably figured she was disengaged and saved you the breath. Mine did.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 02:23 PM
2

Why would you want a relationship with someone incapable of understanding your and your daughter’s needs? It’s your home. Go have Christmas there.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 01:57 PM
6

It’s his home. 2. It’s for his daughter. You’re telling this guy he shouldn’t go celebrate Christmas in his own home with his daughter because his Ex will be there and a woman he’s known less than 2 years will pout about it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 01:56 PM
6

Your girlfriend is an asshole. Your family comes first. Put your foot down on that and/or dump the bitch.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 01:53 PM
1

Wow. First, you are strong, and you will get through this. It took a lot of strength and character to do what you did. Secondly, she is trash. The only portion of her you should care about is the half the DNA she contributed to your son. He is all that matters now. Stay strong, brother, and reach out if you need anything.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/22 12:04 AM
1

She sounds absolutely terrible. Run as fast as you can. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/22 06:27 PM
1

She may never, but he makes $40K and can’t afford to be divorced. That’s just reality. Homelessness is worse than a miserable marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/22 01:08 PM
2

I would keep working at it. You made a mistake and forgiveness takes time. Don’t expect it. You need to stop caring what she thinks and just be a reliable Dad and maybe she’ll come around.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/22 11:33 PM
3

Women think with their emotions and not their brains. They can rationalize anything. She feels guilty because she cheated and wants to keep fucking around and so she labels you as the bad guy and an abuser— and if she’s told you that it means she’s already told everyone else that too. But she needs money, hence the manipulative flirting. Fuck her. I feel for your son. My son and daughter (7 and 3) will also have a worse upbringing divorced, but it’s the only way I can exert my own parenting infl…
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/22 11:23 PM
1

Apps can bring you casual. Just be super up front that you’re not in a rush for anything and just want to have fun. Plenty of women are turned on by that.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/22 10:56 PM
4

I'm not trying to dodge taxes, I just need to collect unemployment. I have fixed costs I can't get rid of--- more reason for the divorce to be honest. The system is so broken. I'd take a lower paying job now if I could get my benefits. It would allow me to transition to a different lifestyle, rather than wait 3-6 months to find another job that paid the same.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 12:26 PM
9

I'm all for hard work. It's cold here and snow is coming. I think about snow removal.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 03:39 AM
2

I agreed immediately. It was so bizarre.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 04:48 PM
2

Yes. Marriage offers nothing of value to me. I already have kids, and I don't need to split property with another grown child. Women suck and I view them as convenient company and that's all. I think it's extremely rare to find a self-aware woman who is mature.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 03:41 PM
3

I’m so sorry. I just passed my 9th. Go for a long walk and then maybe go to a really dumb action movie or watch football or something.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 01:59 PM
3

I’m not sure. She’s asexual. She never goes anywhere. She later told me that “I keep asking her where she’s going.” I was like, I’m making conversation and asking if she’s going to the office so I can have the house to myself. I don’t really care where she’s going.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 01:47 PM
3

I don’t mean you’re a bad person. It’s just not a good fit. She’s not meant for you and you’re not meant for her. You can be friends but not husband and wife.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 01:34 PM
29

She’s already cheating. Women don’t confess they have feelings until they actually know is where they’re going next. Get a divorce. Be glad there are no kids involved.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 01:29 PM
5

For me, it was when we were in couples therapy and I asked her if she wanted the love back and her response was "I don't know." I mean, that's pretty much it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 11:44 AM
4

Yes, I instantly agreed to turn it off. I was just stunned that was where she went automatically. She gets everything she wants but just can't take Yes for an answer.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 11:40 AM
5

You aren't a good husband for her so get out of the marriage. Be happy you realized this before 30. Sexless marriages aren't marriages, they're roommate agreements.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 11:39 AM
9

I'm your age, and I've dated women older than me already. It all depends how they take care of themselves as to whether I'm attracted. Younger women are children and don't have any appeal for me.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 11:34 AM
12

That's insane. How do you make half a bed?
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 11:18 AM
3

Hitting a child for urinating is really abuse. She sounds like a terrible human being. Only a court can order you out of your house. Mediation is only binding if you agree.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/22 01:39 AM
3

No, that's not the case.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/22 09:34 PM
1

Don't let her interrupt your time with your children. Take them places. Lawyers are assholes. Get a mediator. Since she is a narcissist she might say no, but it's cheaper.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/22 05:51 PM
5

That's so hard dude. The 37% is of your gross pay right? If your hours went down, your contribution to her went down as well. Does she work?
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/22 05:49 PM
2

She can't force you out. It's your home. She has to go to the court to get a temporary order of custody, or force you out by pretending she's threatened. She'd have to convince the court you're a threat to get you out.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/22 04:06 PM
4

Narcissists become therapists a lot more frequently than you might expect.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 06:44 PM
7

First of all, go back to the house. That's your house. That's your bed. She can sleep on the floor if she wants. She sounds like a horrible human being who was never ready for the responsibility of a marriage and only wanted out once you made her complacency inconvenient. Screw her. Sad that the relatives back her, but I am in a similar situation with my STBX who is a permanent, petulant child. She is no longer your partner, but just a business associate to raise your kids. Focus on them. Fight …
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 06:33 PM
1

I mean a home not a house. I just use the words interchangeably.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 05:22 PM
1

Yes. Some gifts you don’t want to keep. For example, every gift she ever gave me.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 05:21 PM
1

I mean home not house. I have a 2BR apartment of my own now. I’m not moved out yet.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 05:20 PM
2

My wife does the same. She over-programs the kids so I don’t spend time doing things I like with the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 05:18 PM
2

Try this. https://texasdivorcelaws.org/child-support-in-texas/
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/22 01:07 PM
1

He cries, and then do you try to get him to speak about why he's sad? Does he feel sorry for you or guilty? Does he want what you had back? Additional question, you mentioned back surgeries. Are you overweight? Was that a factor?
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/22 03:26 PM
5

This is Massachusetts and I'm in consultation with my lawyer. Her parents bought our condo from our landlord so I will be out by June 2023. In January is my custody hearing and I need a house to get 50/50, so I have that now.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/22 03:23 PM
3

This is going to sound trite, but when was the last time you got laid? On a date with the 3rd woman I dated since the divorce process started, she couldn't keep her hands off me. It was wonderful. It was genuine affection and physical attraction. I didn't think about my wife for over a month after that. It comes back of course, but I have to remind myself what it feels like to be cared for.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/22 02:31 PM
2

I feel the same. There are days I want to share my successes, etc., with her, but I bite my tongue because I remember she considers me an enemy. Anything I give her she will use against me. She's a petulant child, like most American women, and she will not share.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/22 02:29 PM
1

I keep having dreams that my ex loves me again, and it's like water in the desert. I'd probably pay $1000 to get just one hug from her. But I wake up remembering that she's not capable of that, that she knows I need her affection and is/was purposefully withholding it. My kids are the only ones I get affection from. So I have to remind myself that my Ex is not a nice person, that the kids are all that matter, and that I need to love myself and not mourn a myth that never existed.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/22 02:27 PM
1

Bumble completely flips the script on that. Women have to reach out first, which means they’re not dealing with an ocean of propositions in their inbox.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/22 09:17 AM
2

Lol. No. It creates a self-selected pool of women who are DTF you. I’ve gotten more ass in the last 4 months than I have in the last 7 years of my broken marriage. I’m not emotionally available, but I will sure as hell show a woman a good time and can say adios any second I want.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/22 09:16 AM
9

The man needs to get laid. Let him get laid.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/22 09:13 AM
8

I want to upvote this 10,000 times.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/22 09:13 AM
2

Online dating (Bumble for example) is pretty much serving up the women who want to be approached, and many of them have no interest in anything serious, they just want to have fun which is what you should be seeking at maximum. Do NOT seek romance or a relationship because you’re not ready for that. Avoid toxic women like the plague. The first sign of a red flag, say fuck it.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/22 09:10 AM
4

Online dating (Bumble for example) is pretty much serving up the women who want to be approached, and many of them have no interest in anything serious, they just want to have fun which is what you should be seeking at maximum. Do NOT seek romance or a relationship because you’re not ready for that. Avoid toxic women like the plague. The first sign of a red flag, say fuck it.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/22 09:10 AM
1

You can’t make a woman happy by letting her have her own way. She doesn’t know what her way is and likely wants conflict and engagement as some perverse confirmation that you’re present rather than absent given you’re away so much working. She’s a single parent 50-75% of the time and is probably going nuts having to make every decision herself. Set up your boundaries and stick to them. But also consider working closer to home if you can. It probably also wouldn’t hurt to get a sitter to take the…
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 07:01 AM
4

There’s no advantage to marriage for Men in America. Zero. You can have kids with someone you’re not married to and all you’ll pay is child support.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 06:53 AM
1

I agree that is she most likely stalling because she realizes she’ll have to become an adult. That said, just expressing a desire to work it out isn’t enough; what specifically is she willing to do, to work at, to change, to make a viable marriage possible? If you can’t determine that, walk away. If there’s an inkling that she’s sincere and knows what’s involved, I would say then seek counseling.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 06:43 AM
6

I tell my 7 year old that being his dad is my favorite job and I am so lucky. Sharing your emotions with your kids is natural, and so if you tear up from time to time don’t sweat it. Hold them. Love them. Tell them you love them often and encourage them to be their best and have rewarding and memorable experiences with them.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 06:38 AM
1

He’ll get there. He’s at the anger stage.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 06:25 AM
5

Let the man get through the process dude. He’s at anger. It’s okay to be angry. If having her as an adversary means you’re going to go to the gym 4 times a week and get in great shape and make her jealous, channel that shit. But yes, don’t be a victim. This will make you stronger and you are in control of how much effort you want to put into self-repair, not her. She can only drain you.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 06:18 AM
2

This upvoted 1000 times. American women are the most entitled and free human beings in history and they’re still overwhelmingly miserable assholes. The feminist revolution did not really help their mental health.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 06:08 AM
1

My ex is the same. MBA — which I urged her to do— and still she wants alimony on top of child support, while working a job that pays less than she would have gotten her first year out of MBA. She’s a child. Her parents are buying the condo we live in from our landlord. She’s a fucking child. A child raising 2 young children. I have to be the adult for 2 but I refuse to be a parent to her.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 06:06 AM
1

Guy is clearly ambivalent, and by that I mean literally torn in two directions. I’m a hopeless romantic so I’d say go win him back, but also along with that needs to come expressed mutual forgiveness and love and a recognition that you want to fix what’s broken and avoid old patterns. Good luck to him and you at finding your happiness.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 06:02 AM
1

Yup!
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 05:57 AM
1

They’re children. That’s how you have to picture 99% of all women.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 08:17 AM
1

My assh*** STBX pulled the “I’m hot” sh*t too, except I was too stupid to avoid committing. I started sleeping in another room in our ski house because she made it clear she never wanted me to touch her. Honestly I got better sleep there too.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 08:05 AM
1

Look at her parents’ relationship because she’ll model that. How does she and her Mom treat her Dad because she’ll model that as how she treats you. Being faithful couldn’t hurt. Women will rationalize anything they do and having a higher power at work might actually make the vows stick. If you find the one, get pre marital counseling. How would you deal with illness? Money? Etc. how would you deal with a decline in the frequency or quality of sex and intimacy? How would you deal if either of yo…
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 07:43 AM
2

Sorry you’re going through this. She’s realizing life isn’t perfect and the typical female way to deal with this is to start poking holes in the ship so that everybody dies. They’re all children. She stopped loving you a long time ago and it’s nothing you did. Work out, get in shape, be there for your sons. There is an endless supply of single and divorced women out there who want sex and more, and you can give them the sex and withhold the relationship until it suits you or never. I think it’s …
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 07:19 AM
1

What exactly did you do to this man to make him want to leave? It seems like you’re omitting some stuff. You’re willing to overlook the fact he had another women present which is pretty big of you but also screams that you were also in the wrong about something (and I don’t mean you dating because that’s a natural response to a divorce). So why did he seek her out? Be honest. What was broken in the marriage?
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 07:12 AM
1

Create a new folder and put them there. You need bad memories and indifferent memories as well as good. You likely will never go to that folder but if you find yourself doing that, download/delete them and give them to a friend for the future.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 07:05 AM
1

Any physical violence at all, call the police. The police will separate you and your STBX and ask you each a story. Be 100% down to earth with them: she hates me, we’re getting divorced, and she slapped me and spat on me. I have never laid a finger on her and would be happy to talk more. I fear escalating violence from her because she can’t control her emotions and there are kids present, so please help officer.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 07:04 AM
1

I’m sorry. I’m in the same. 7 year old who doesn’t know yet and 3 year old girl. I would have stuck it out and just cheated but she made it clear she was trying to take the kids altogether.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 06:59 AM
3

She called you because she wants to continue to assert control over you and is frustrated that you’re moving on without her. She hasn’t monkey branched to the next man yet because those guys only want sex, and so is turning back to you for validation. But screw her. Focus on making your son happy and safe and find a new woman or women for your needs.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 06:57 AM
15

The switch flipping happened to me too. I was trying to save the marriage and then one day with a straight face she said “you treat me like shit.” Over a decade of paying for everything, doing everything the way she wanted to “make her happy” (an impossible task). I just laughed. It was so deluded and the perfect evidence that I was dealing with a spoiled child, not an adult. I hate her now, but I also pity her mental illness.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 06:45 AM
3

You can stop paying bills. Discrete finances.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/22 06:23 PM
1

She’s just a spoiled brat who is ready to monkey branch.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/22 06:22 PM
3

American women are children, and women’s liberation has made it worse. She won’t tell you anything beyond her feelings have changed. It’s like asking a 14 year old why they did something wrong. Plenty of younger and hotter women out there wanting a good man. Go find ‘‘em and f-‘em. That’s what I’m doing in my divorce. I’m still sad but when a stranger woman is putting her hands all over me and giving me more affection than I’ve had in 7 years, all of the sadness just turns to anger that i took t…
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/22 06:18 PM
2

If a spouse isn’t giving sex they don’t love the other person, period. It’s a basic need. If it sucks, you work on making the sex better. If you withhold it you don’t care about the other person, period.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/22 06:12 PM
14

File a restraining order against the FIL now.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/22 05:32 PM
1

You will find love again but you have to get over her. She used you. She didn't love you. You have an empty spot that you're trying to fill and you can't fill it with garbage. Literally thousands of women would be banging down your door for a man like you.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/22 12:32 PM
3

I asked my ex why she wouldn't honor her vows and she said "well I never imagined things would get this bad." Yes, you permanent child, that's why they're vows. If you knew what you were going to experience you wouldn't marry the person. The second some toxic b**ches start telling her to get her freedom back, it's suddenly screw the kids let's break up this family. Notice, I can't walk away from my economic responsibilities, but she won't have to pretend to care anymore which is all she wants (p…
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/22 12:21 PM
4

If she had pain during sex or just thought you lousy in bed, it might make sense for her to try to satisfy you (or at least shut you up) with a mouth or hand party. But since she's tracking everything, she's getting divorced and building her case. She's not your friend. It's sad, but she's written you off. My wife did the same. She and her mother were documenting how involved I was with our kids for over a year (she was a stay at home Mom btw). I found out one day because she changed her passwor…
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/22 11:27 AM
5

It’s like that quote from “as good as it gets”. Think of a man and take away reason and accountability and you have women.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/22 01:24 AM
1

Someone who pressures you to marry is in it for the wrong reasons. She wants a badge or a medal, and once she has that your novelty will pass like it does for all the women children and you’ll end up divorced. If your hesitant there is no reason to get married.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/22 01:20 AM
1

Oh no I get you. I was more thinking my wife. Hasn’t touched me since wanting to get pregnant with second child. Always had an orgasm, just miserable and never in the mood, so if she asked I’d probably do it, even though I hate her now.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/22 06:35 PM
1

I’ll be honest. I’d probably hit that just for a gate f***.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/22 06:29 PM
1

My wife is a huge pig. Three hours after a cleaning lady comes, it’s already like a tornado hit. Then she complains that I buy something for myself.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/22 06:15 PM
5

No way. She wants divorce, she pays.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/22 05:51 PM
1

DO NOT MOVE. Let her suffer the consequences of her choice. If she wants divorce, she can move.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/22 05:50 PM
1

Women are delusional. Some of them think it’s 1972 and they’ll get the kids and lots of money. Everyone has problems and the court recognizes that. If you love your kids and haven’t harmed them in the past you will get 50/50 if you want it.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/22 03:11 PM
1

She’s a malignant narcissist and a bad mother and you need to get out and get as much parenting time with your daughter as possible. Get your daughter’s wellness records, anything else related and keep it organized (and copies in the cloud). Prepare a plan for the new household you will have. Document her lifestyle. Family court won’t react well to an essentially online prostitute. Once you have this set, file for divorce and move for an immediate emergency custody plan based on the best interes…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/22 04:22 PM
1

Yeah they all think your past texts will win for them. If you’ve never put your kids in danger or been arrested or been committed, you’re okay. Men are allowed to be sad sometimes too. Particularly when their marriage is a shambles.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/22 08:26 AM
1

I do know some marriages that work that way, but at my stage it would be rape.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/22 08:14 AM
3

They’re like children. No fault divorce and the girl power mentality have destroyed women’s chances at finding happiness. Not all women of course, but most.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/22 08:02 AM
3

From what he’s wrote, counseling does not seem likely to fix that marriage. That woman was a child. I’m in the same situation.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/22 07:44 AM
3

Good for you. My STBX is almost exactly the same. I’m not as badass career wise as you, but I do excel at what I do and earn 3x what she does. She doesn’t take her career seriously at all. She wanted to end it the second I stopped saying “Yes” to everything she wanted. She now has to face life as an adult, albeit, her parents will now buy her a $1MM condo.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/22 07:42 AM
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