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Ok-Cat1446 Archive

View 12 posts and 58 comments by Ok-Cat1446 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

Cut your losses. It is actually a good thing that neither of you has high income as a high net worth cost more and is a way mote complicated divorce preceeding. Sorry this happened to you but you seem to have a clear path forward.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 12:29 PM
9

Don't do it bro!!
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/26 06:52 PM
3

I had a similar experience. Most attorneys contract with Marble as a side hustle. I really had to push to fit to a supervisor and get my case transferred to a less busy but ultimately less experienced lawyer. You get what you pay for with attorneys and unfortunately a lot of these guys make good money profiting off the misfortune of those of us going thru a divorce. This adds to an already unpleasant part of the process. Keep your head down, push through it and get to that light at the end of th…
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 01:29 AM
3

Have the talk in a public place where you can exit early in need be. Make it a casual meal. Limit the drinking. Split the bill as you will be splitting things going forward.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 01:20 PM
1

Date her just have strong financial boundaries. You are not a sugar daddy and you have no obligations to pay off her student debt. Take her to a movie, buy the tickets and see if she offers to buy the snacks. That may give u a good indication of how she is financially. After dating a while you will learn her financial habits and fiscal responsibilities. Secondary education is expensive and lots of people carry 6 figure debt. Can she parlay that debt into a high-salary vocation?
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/26 01:28 PM
2

The opinion of church people is not gonna weigh heavily in court even if they get to weigh in. Moving to CT is not gonna help you in this case tho. Get a good attorney. If you think your stbxw is reasonable consider arbitration as an alternative settlement. Always keep in mind what is best for your child. This is a traumatic situation for them.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/26 12:58 AM
3

You are right. The only window we have to the world is thru pur own lens and perspectives so of course everyone comes at life with a self-centric point of view. True narcissism is a whole separate pathology. I think in a true marriage, partners learn to appreciate the other's perspective and inability to do so often leads to accusations of self-centeredness which is often mislabled as narcissism. Not to say there are no narcissists out there, but the word is overused these days.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 11:27 AM
6

Lawyer up therapy up. Keep your head up! good luck my guy. you are not alone.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/24 02:46 AM
6

best to get your house in order first. from both a practical and emotional stand point. it might feel good to date someone but better to close out the marriage first.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 07:37 PM
1

always think about the kids first in these situations. unfortunately. many people chase new relationships to mask the pain of old broken ones but you have to close out the old ones and heal otherwise you will create more hassles long term. but sometimes it is hard to tell others what they might not be ready to hear.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 07:05 PM
1

It is a rental and she changed the locks.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/23 02:01 AM
4

yeah. obviously. it should a crimw though.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/23 06:42 PM
3

My wife did the same maxing out 4 credit cards to the tune of 50k. We NEVER had credit card debit prior to this in 13 years of marriage. Now she is trying to get a lawyer to sue me to sell the house or take out equity on it for double the interest rate so she can pay the cards off. My lawyer says I am not on the hook for this. We don't have a separation date that we can agree on but I have texts and documentation show when I moved out. We fortunately always have had no joint checking and separat…
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 10:01 PM
1

not if she is making more money. she will have to disclose her income anyway. problematic for her. but also potentially for you. hope your lawyer is good.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 01:56 AM
3

Sorry forgot. NY State.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 09:41 PM
2

Were you engaged before you bought it? How did she put money down if you bought it before you were married? Will you have to refi at a higher rate to get equity out? If you can settle without going to court that is your best bet. Otherwise get ready to pay for your lawyer's next European ski trip! I mean you do need to lawyer up but they are a necessary expense in a case like this. You are buying your freedom in exchange for your house. It is tough. Best of luck.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 09:22 PM
2

Borderline Personality Disorder can be devastating. If you are not prepared for a lifetime of this and or worse cut your losses and consider yourself lucky. Help your wife but do it as her ex with some distance and after some time and with a legal cushion btwn you.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 09:14 PM
3

Why did my attorney tell me in consultation that it is a premarital asset? is he just trying to get that retainer? I have heard exactly what you said but have been told both by different parties. Very confusing.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 04:56 AM
3

thank you. good advice. just feel like the legal system punishes us for doing the right thing. trying not to come out of this being bitter and cynical. Focusing on the kids will help.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/23 01:30 AM
2

It is brutal. I will never fully recover financially or emotionally and I was the fiscally and emotionally responsible one.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/23 12:23 AM
0

Sounds like that is coming from mom vis-a vis the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/23 06:55 AM
3

Why do both parties have to be present at the signing in this post covid day in age. Seems trauma inducing.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 02:15 AM
2

Just moved out but not legally separated. Thanks for your input here.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 12:15 PM
3

Married for 11 separated for 2.5 she accrued all her debt during the separation period. New York State. Yeah. too bad the responsible ones that make good decisions are the ones that get screwed here.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 12:42 AM
2

Cut your losses and focus on you and the kids. There is no logic here and many of us find ourselves in similar spots. Protect yourself and your assets. The situation will not change. It is sad. You deserve better.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 12:31 AM
8

I am sure the lawyer drives a nice car. They really push for bloodsport and reap the profits by pumping people's sense of entitlements up.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 05:53 AM
1

These lawyers can be terrible. They really do profiteer off of other people's misfortune. That said, make sute you get a good one yourself and protect your hard earned assets.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/23 09:35 PM
1

thanks and goodluck. 👍
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 02:46 AM
1

thank you. that I understand. my question is does equitable distribution apply to the value of a house purchased before marriage. eg. would my spouse be entitled to half the equity of that house wven though I purchased it before we were married. Thanks again. this is all complicated but this subreddit has been helpful.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/22 05:21 PM
3

It was acquired before marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/22 03:09 PM
2

attorneys suck. your wife's attorney probably pumped her up and said we are gonna go after this guy for everything you and your kids are entitled to. plus us you have to pay retainer and legal fees. I bet the attorney drive a really nice car and lives a great life. that said now you have to get your own attorney and fight for everything you can get. they can leave you destitute or take money you don't have. how does that serve your kids? You have rights too. Also hopefully your wife is reasonabl…
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/22 06:31 AM
3

Those memories are always there for you and it never really gets better sorry to say. At some point you just realize you have to let go to grasp your new reality. You cant do that if you are still hanging on to something. This is a grieving process for sure and it will always be tough but it is an opportu ity for growth for both of you so try to frame it in that sense. Best of luck to ya.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/22 03:04 AM
5

Divorce is EXPENSIVE. But worth it. Pull that trigger it will be the best. I am 2/3rds the way thru my process and all we have left to do is the financial stuff which we left bc it is painful and I am gonna be f'd either way and even after this is done I will have financial repercussions but it is either stay have a millstone around my neck in water way over my head or swim with lead in my pockets but be divorced. I will take my chances with the second and have peace and maybe the chance at meet…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/22 01:26 AM
1

Do whatever you want when ever you want with whomever you choose. In my opinion. Don't tie yourself down. You have the rest of your life to remarry or ltr. I personally date but enjoy my time. Women are not competing for me or against other women. They are competing against my peace so it takes someone special for me to go out and commit to significant time or money spent and that is OK. Enjoy your moment. Enjoy your freedom. Congratulations.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/22 12:23 AM
7

Document everything. Sounds like she is. Keep your therapist's contact details so you can show you have been doing that and lawyer up quick!!
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 07:15 AM
1

Agreed with all commenters. Hire a lawyer. Your divorce is contested. The car is technically stolen.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/22 01:00 AM
2

Sorry man. This is a terrible situation and my best advice is to separate from this woman as quickly as possible. I know you may want to help her but can't help someone until they are ready to accept it. Hopefully the courts will make the right decision with your kids. Re. psychiatry this is not the first situation where I have heard of medications making things worse. Power thru this tough time. There are better times ahead. There is definitely a need for more support for men in situations like…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/22 02:00 PM
1

Agreed except my relationship w my wife was a bit abusive and manipulative esp w there being a lot of splitting and triangulation when dealing w parents/ family and therapists.Usually not in my favor. I was advised that this would also occur in an arbitrated or mediated situation so it would be better to lawyer up or just file the paper work as quickly as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/22 04:41 AM
1

Good advice. Thanks. I will keep this in mind. These are the details that could flip us from amicable to unamicable real quick. Appreciate your input.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 04:45 PM
2

Protect yourself and your credit/finances. Do it for your kids if not for you. Obviously your wife is not gonna do it. See a lawyer and get some legal separation asap.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 02:26 PM
2

Yeah this subreddit has helped me too. We all help each other. Be well!
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/22 05:56 PM
2

Did u get married young? You mentioned you've grown apart. This whole convention of getting married and having a kid and buying a house is kind of becoming a fallacious logic more and more to me that is not right for everyone. Our brains don't even finish fully developing in men until 25 on average so some people even later. You hit on it before. We change a lot over the course of your lives and if you feel u can be a better father than this is good for your son. It is also better for your wife …
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/22 10:38 AM
1

Yeah sorry man. I have learned to go to my house with a trusted and neutral friend, one that she isn't threatened by just to have a witness to the conversation and to mitigate any nastiness and worst case scenario to pull me out if things get bad. Takes a good friend to do that. I would do it if I knew ya bud. It is a tough position. Glad u kept it calm.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/21 03:04 AM
1

Yeah. Innterest rates are low fortunately good time to refinance any way. Hope things turned out OK in the long run for ya!
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/21 08:59 PM
1

Thank you! I know things are different in different states and scenarios but to see it broken down on paper makes sense. I figured it would be something like this. Thanks again. Any other advice?
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/21 05:12 PM
1

Thanks. Makes sense. Any other advice?
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/21 09:59 PM
1

Seems unfair if she didn't make any of the mortgage payments but I figured that might be the case. Thanks. Any other advice?
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/21 09:58 PM
2

U.S.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/21 11:19 PM
1

U.S.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/21 11:18 PM
1

Whoa dude! Calm down. We don't live in the house we own. We we rent it out now and I am out of the apt. And frankly glad to have some space. I want practical advice here not judgement. Thanks anyway tho.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/21 11:11 PM
1

The only ones who come out ahead in these situations are the lawyers!
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/21 11:01 PM
1

No one is gonna "put u away" for spanking your kids! Scratching and hitting and threatening you is the abusive behavior here.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/21 08:20 AM
2

Excercise...get off the couch. Use your social supports. It is a tough time but it will get better.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/21 08:09 AM
2

She owes you 1700 for the 1st round. Give her 700 and you are even.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/21 08:05 AM
2

Agree with all the posts above. Take your time w this one. See if you can encourage her to get help with her depression and create space for you guys to grow without family interference. She will definitely be thinking about having kids at age 35 so think about it in future planning but take your time too 2020 has been an anomaly of a year and you guys are still early in the relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/21 08:01 AM
1

1 find someplace to go. 2 file an order or protection or restraining order in some states. 3 don't leave the kids w this woman.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/20 08:57 AM
1

Deuces man✌. Get out of this relationship. Doesn't sound like u are married and probably good thing. There are lots of other women out there and life is short. Dont waste too much time with this.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/20 08:51 AM
4

It is natural for there to be a lot of anger and acrimony in a time like this but it is stressful enough without having willfully want it to be rough esp. w kids involved. It is gonna be rough but time to cut the losses and move on trust me, not time to be spiteful although you are entitled to be angry, watch where you direct it. That sht can come back to bite you.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/20 08:44 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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