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Ok_Obligation_6110 Archive

View 8 posts and 560 comments by Ok_Obligation_6110 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

I had a similar upbringing. I’m not sure your family back friend but my dad basically took over the vast majority of my parenting from 11 onward and I don’t have much at all of a relationship with my mother. I think my dad knew life was going to be hard for me since I didn’t have a mother I could rely on or feel safe with, so he felt like he was protecting me by teaching me how to be stronger and more resilient. The only time I’ve seen my dad soften up was when I got married and became a mother,…
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/24 02:24 PM
4

Have you ever used peanut? It’s literally hinge for moms! I met many moms in my area that way. Also check your Facebook for moms groups in the area. We have a young toddlers play group in my local rural town even. We go to baby story time at the library and have made many lasting friends there. There are lots of farms in my area that offer young toddler and baby homeschool events as well, they tend to be much more RP. A SAHM friend is a SAHM friend at the end of the day. I find that even those I…
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/24 12:20 PM
4

I had a baby at 29 and even before I got back to pre baby weight my husbands attraction didn’t wane. Nor did it while being 9 months pregnant! Idk who is reading this who needs to hear this today but there you go. This was after he held my legs in childbirth and watched the whole process in awe. Men’s attraction isn’t so fragile.
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/24 03:18 PM
2

I just hope you’ve actually discussed this? You sound like you’ve just discovered this in secret and accepted it without ever discussing anything? If you’re going to follow this path, be extremely cautious, and acknowledge that you know so you can at least establish some boundaries. And if you are both religious, yes you with are committing sin. You allowing it makes you complicit not absolved. If you have no moral qualms either way then so be it, but it sounds like you do.
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/24 02:44 PM
2

For what it’s worth I have family who did 2 weddings recently. One smaller destination one that was mostly immediate family and very inner circle friends and another much larger traditional wedding and it took about 6 months to plan the first one and the second happened about a year and a half after that one. I would say your bf is right timing wise on that one. I remember helping with the planning for both because they’re both physicians and didn’t have a ton of free time and even those timelin…
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/24 07:37 PM
2

I’m so sorry he seems to be stonewalling you. I’ll let a male commenter expand on this but maybe men have a harder time faking emotions than we women do? Is he really unable to have any light hearted or easy moments through the day? Not asking for a whole day of him playing fake nice but even just for a dinner? If all else fails, do you think he would be open to you letting him take this trip for himself and in exchange you can have him take the kids while you get a day later? And mention that i…
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/24 07:37 PM
2

Sorry, I wasn’t suggesting to cancel, but more like see if he’s able to agree to ‘faking’ a nice night out together. I feel like that approach only works if both of you are aware it’s causing tension and you both want to get rid of it without knowing how. As awful as it is, it’s better to push through with couples plans when we’re not in the best mood. You don’t want to regret later when you’re really overwhelmed and could use a day off that you wasted an opportunity to try and connect. I would …
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/24 07:16 PM
3

I’m not sure if this is great advice but it does work for us sometimes to tell each other we want a ‘pause’ in whatever mood the other person is going through when we want to enjoy something we have planned. Basically faking it for the sake of enjoying limited alone time. We wind up actually enjoying ourselves and getting out of our head. It’s not always possible but something worth discussing?
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/24 02:56 PM
1

I was about to comment exactly this. I was a SAHW when I was first married and while I was pregnant. Even then it felt very off to admit to people, when you have a young child it feels much more acceptable to tell people you’re at home with them. However, it’s entirely a self inflicted thing. This is just how people make conversation and if they’re people you will be spending time with in the future just be honest that you’re a SAHW. You don’t need to qualify or justify it by getting into detail…
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/24 02:27 PM
3

I have never once in my life met a man who was offended by an offer to pay on a first date of all things? Idk where in the world you’re from but it’s not common where I’m from. It’s actually a test of your manners. Offering to pay is a display of your manners not an expectation that you will be paying. I have always offered to split the bill and because I vetted correctly, I have never once in my life had a man actually take me up on it, and instead actually got them blushing to bend over to tak…
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/24 04:24 PM
0

Why would you not offer? Do you assume a gentleman is going to change his mind about paying if given the opportunity not to? In that case why do you want a date a man you acted entitled towards on a first date?
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/24 04:04 PM
-1

I was raised traditionally and was always taught to offer to pay out of politeness. A gentleman will nearly always pay, but not even offering comes off entitled and mannerless. It also takes away the opportunity for him to feel like a man about insisting he’s treating you? Why would you NOT offer?
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/24 04:03 PM
0

I wish the TikTok crowd could hear this - especially about always offering to split even if you expect to be treated. It’s not only polite and showing good manners, it allows the man an opportunity to FEEL like he’s treating you.
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/24 04:01 PM
2

Why do you think it’s fair to take on all of the domestic and I assume childcare labor on top of having work yourself? Even if it’s not paid, why do you think you have to still act like a housewife when you’re not?
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/24 08:22 PM
6

Ive been in a similar situation to you, down to the breakup and get back together in 2019 with the intention of it being for marriage, it took us a year and a half almost exactly after getting get back together to get married. We did choose to elope, but instead did a ‘micro wedding’ as a compromise. Like your bf, I too hate the idea of an event where I’m the center of attention, but for me it’s much harder as the bride than the groom! We eloped on an island with just our parents and siblings an…
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/24 08:11 PM
6

Please for the sake of your financial health diversify and please don’t tell me that’s all of your liquidity/savings in crypto!
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/24 02:06 PM
2

I’ve had this exact same thing happening with my step sister, down to the changing mind about marriage and kids after being very vocally against it. I live a very trad life compared to her and now she’s with a man she can see as a provider truly after ending a very long term relationship. We were worried it was the same where she got too wrapped up in how her bf is. We’ve had all the same concerns as you with your friend but we’ve taken a back seat with it and it seems she’s finding a balance no…
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/24 02:04 PM
2

I think with a lot of that context I think you’re on the right path for sure. I appreciate the details and I think you could definitely edit your post with some of this information around what specifically you’re looking for in lifestyle. I think you should be open with what kind of profession you’re looking for as many many other fields are much more flexible than you think. My husband works in tech and most of his colleagues work 40 hours a week or less and all work entirely remote jobs and tr…
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/24 10:26 PM
2

I would hardly call what I said a derogatory statement, but I’m sorry you felt that way. I’m glad my clarification on my earlier point cleared things up for you but I didn’t amend anything I said, I simply extrapolated.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/24 05:57 PM
7

You’re still missing my point I’m afraid and still seeming to take this personally. Exceptions to the rule make the rule. I’m not saying EVERY 22 year old is a child. I’m saying we live in a culture where it’s not the norm to have had any adult experiences by that age as many 22 year olds are fresh out of school, have not had to pay bills, or have major responsibilities. If you did at 22 then you were and are the exception. If we lived in the 1950s sure it would be normal to be a full fledged ad…
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/24 02:59 PM
8

Totally. I should’ve said it’s not a requirement for marriage to be finished since you’ll never truly be finished. I’m on year 3 of marriage and I’m still finding so many new ways I need to improve myself. But the biggest thing is recognizing you still have a lot to work on and toward your whole life instead of thinking you’re a ‘finished project’ so to speak. I think a lot of people who ‘peak early’ think this way and then find themselves on the ugly side of divorce statistics.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/24 02:56 PM
9

I’m not calling OP a child I was stating that in our current society 22 is seen as ‘basically a child’ because the vast majority of people at that age don’t have the resources or capacity to become married homeowners with children. I’m not sure how old you are or when you purchased a home but there are 30 year olds with years of savings who can’t even buy a home these days. I think maybe your personal situation is making you take it a bit personally when that’s not at all what I was saying. I do…
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/24 02:18 PM
17

I’d still argue that 22 is practically a child these days. I don’t think 2 years of the first years of your 20s is going to give you much life experience. I’m not advocating for her waiting till 30 to marry but I think it’s pretty delusional to think you’ve finished the work of becoming a wife worthy woman after 2 years of doing idk what exactly. ‘Bettering yourself’ isn’t very specific.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/24 01:47 PM
34

First of all, at 20 you have a LOT still to learn about yourself as a woman especially so please don’t think you’ve ’done the work’. Most of ‘the work’ is simply living as an adult woman which requires time. You are definitely not perfect or ‘done’ at 20, you’re quite literally just getting started. Secondly? Your standards are obscenely unrealistic to the point they’re not even standards they’re delusional demands. No man in that age range is going to have what you’re looking for. That doesn’t …
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/24 11:57 AM
8

I’m not trying to put words in your mouth but based on your comments and this one it seems you think people who get married all ‘settle’? Not settle down but you seem to state settle their expectations. Do you genuinely think this is the only way people get married?
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/24 08:14 PM
11

Point blank saying ultimatums are bad is just naive about the way human beings operate. Most people don’t make certain decisions until they’re quite literally forced to for good or bad. I’m curious if you can actually provide OP with examples of ‘inspiring commitment’ without being direct, as that would constitute ‘an ultimatum’. Assuming there’s something wrong with the relationship because a proposal should come magically from every man without a direct conversation about expectations is very …
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/24 03:45 PM
3

It’s possible he is naive. Lots of men mistakenly believe that because they see more women having babies after 35 that it’s ’no big deal to wait till your late 30s’.
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/24 03:42 PM
1

What exactly is your point?
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/24 01:03 AM
10

I’m very very sorry this happened to you, PLEASE seek out a domestic violence center for legal resources on how to follow through with a restraining order. This man is beyond unhinged and you need to protect yourself. I remember commenting on your last post that this guy had a bunch of glaring red flags and shouldn’t have even been considered a HVM by you. May I ask why you didn’t respond to anyone at all on that thread? And still pursued the relationship anyway? Of course you couldn’t have ever…
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/24 10:56 AM
21

Say that to him! Even if its in the past now, go to him now and verbally tell him that. And then apologize profusely and try to make it up to him.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/24 02:44 AM
1

I’m an extremely neurotic person myself. The only thing that will help you is accountability. Your neurotic thought patterns don’t and shouldn’t be affecting your life externally without you making a choice to give in to it. If you’re self aware enough to know you have this problem, you are well enough to control your actions. Just because something is happening in your head doesn’t mean you should be giving weight to it and acting like a victim who can’t control their actions. I have to remind …
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/24 02:38 AM
49

What comment did he even make exactly? It seems you’re projecting your insecurities onto him where they don’t exist. He offered to do something very kind for you and you probably came off as rude with your response? Just because YOU feel unattractive with wet hair doesn’t mean that’s what he’s thinking.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/24 02:23 AM
189

Is it possible you’re over thinking this and he just hates the feeling of wet hair sticking to him? I know I do and it’s nothing personal. I can assure you no man gives a shit about hair color THAT much. Also why did you turn him down to dry your hair? That could have been a very sensual thing to get you both in the mood and you turned it down for…what reason exactly? Your ego over this minor thing?
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/24 02:17 AM
6

Seconding this! My friend used to nanny (ALL boys under 3 🤪) and just had her first baby and said the transition was FAR easier for her as a first time mom than our friends who never had that experience.
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/24 01:38 PM
11

Not who you asked but chiming in as a married woman whose weight has fluctuated up and down by the same 15 pounds our whole relationship, where I too still fit into a small petite, just not as loose as before. My husband has never once said anything to me about my weight as his has gone up and down as well to the same degree. I have more weight around my lower mid section and hips especially now after having a one year old and having an extremely small torso that got very stretched during pregna…
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/24 01:10 PM
5

You’re not understanding. I myself have PCOS and a toddler, and yet there are women out there with far far worse struggles. It’s an explanation not an excuse. A period may make you way more irritable and angry but it doesn’t make the words fly out of your mouth without you make the conscious decision to say them.
/r/RedPillWomen22/05/24 07:32 PM
3

The reason WHY he’s not doing it is what gives us information as to how to help you. I find it extremely hard to believe that after only 2 months you both have ‘dealt’ with it. You’ve included a lot of serious issues and problems in your relationship not one singular small issue in the reason you chose to divorce. I don’t think something as major as dissolving your marriage is going to be resolved by a simple ‘how do I get my husband to do something’. There is something much more serious brewing…
/r/RedPillWomen22/05/24 07:28 PM
3

Then there are major problems in your marriage that can’t be resolved with a simple ‘how do I get him on schedule’? Ignoring the brunt of your problems isn’t going to solve your issues. Is the schedule really what made you file for divorce? Is he resentful of you because he knows you tried to divorce him?
/r/RedPillWomen22/05/24 06:36 PM
22

Fighting over finances is the biggest cause of divorce in most western countries. It’s important to get ahead on this ahead of marriage so you both can walk into it with a new plan that you build together. I would highly recommend you guys meet with a licensed in person financial advisor. Your bank should even have them available for you to make a free appointment with especially if you go in to open a new account. I think men are generally more receptive to hearing about finances from other men…
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/24 01:55 PM
3

My husband and I talk about this a lot because we are also sailors. My husband says he trusts me to handle certain aspects of our domestic life without his input (unless of course I ask for his advice) because part of the reason he married me was to have a capable and intelligent wife who could manage childrearing, household planning, etc because we are partners and have different responsibilities under a shared cause. When we sail it’s no different, he’s captain but I am frequently at the helm …
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/24 01:52 PM
3

I think a good example is if your partner is maybe stressed about work. You build a foundation where he feels he can vent to you at the end of a long day and you can assure him how much that sucks and how smart, accomplished, deserving he is etc. Outwardly this can look like praising how hard your husband works in front of family and friends.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/24 01:44 PM
13

Some of these are reserved roles specifically for marriage. I’d argue mother is one of them so I wouldn’t stress about that one. Waitress is also one I would be very wary of in the dating stages. The confidante is the one I would argue is most important in the pre marriage stage for the rest of these to have a solid basis for following naturally in marriage. Submission requires a great deal of fundamental trust in your partner and relationship and is in my opinion part of what makes marriage spe…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/24 01:39 PM
37

My sisters and I wish we could tell some of our single peers in their 30s honestly, ‘do you know how hard it is to find a guy that checked 8 out of 10 boxes? How rare it is? Why risk throwing it all alway to take a small chance that years and years from now when you’re less desirable on the dating market that you’ll find, let alone even land, a 9 out of 10?’
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/24 04:27 PM
9

I feel like she doesn’t right? She’s breaking the rules of a contract that affords her the security in exchange for fidelity. I would argue any RPW in her right mind would argue against it because it ultimately betrays her own interests.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/24 04:23 PM
5

I think we’re always looking for the next ‘thing’ in a relationship to keep that spark going. Dating eventually leading to an engagement then marriage then kids etc I consider myself an extremely restless person (which is why I actually make a pretty decent SAHM haha!) and when I met my husband and dated him for a long time, the honeymoon phase has ebbed and flowed with our relationship over time but I have never once gotten bored with him. I’ve found in every other past relationship when the ho…
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/24 04:21 PM
5

I’ve had the same experience and met my husband on tinder when I was 23. I dont think it’s a coincidence either as I was extremely selective in who I swiped on and had a conversation with before deciding to meet up. The vast majority of my friends I’ve seen have been far less selective than they think they have and led to disappointment.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/24 04:31 PM
12

I said just the same in my comment as another married woman. Cohabitation only delayed marriage. There was limited benefit to it before marriage with a TON of risk, and despite it working it for us, I wouldn’t recommend it.
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/24 11:35 PM
4

Your fears aren’t baseless. If you’re not planning to have kids with him then moving in together is basically setting yourself up to be in a marriage without any of the legal benefits.
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/24 11:33 PM
4

Having children was the big push for my husband to propose to me despite living together. If you don’t have that incentive, there’s nothing to motivate them toward marriage if you’re living together.
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/24 11:31 PM
4

It’s one of those things that on surface level sounds like a good idea ‘you want to know what it’s like to live with someone before marrying them!’ and this is coming from a married woman who did cohabitate before marriage, and we both agree that it probably wasn’t the best idea. My husband even mentioned this statistic after about a year of living together. We broke up for a whole year because the moving in together totally muddied our views and timelines on marriage. When we got back together,…
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/24 11:28 PM
2

They are so comfy but definitely make sure you look for the vintage ones, I think they stopped using real silk in the 2000s and the real silk actually breathes unlike satin. So nice for postpartum sweating 😓
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/24 06:39 PM
1

I’m very petite myself so I definitely had to buy large sizes to fit but I don’t mind having looser slips!
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/24 04:02 PM
5

Do all men have this song on their sexy playlists?? My husband was floored when we started dating and I put it on because it was always on his haha
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/24 02:44 PM
7

Definitely silk slip dresses. I lived in those my whole pregnancy too and felt very comfortable yet sexy even in my 3rd trimester haha
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/24 02:43 PM
7

I collect vintage Victoria’s Secret silk nightgowns. I honestly can’t find anything else that’s similar that either doesn’t look grandma like or too short and thinner cheap fabric. I don’t think VS even makes the styles anymore but if you search 90s VS gowns you’ll see. Nothing feels more sexy to me than the feeling of smooth silk on smooth skin and my husband thinks I look like the femme fatales from 70s Italian films.
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/24 02:41 PM
4

I feel like your example is a little muddy since cooking isn’t really a gift but something that needs to be done. It can be an act of love, but literally everyone has to eat. You maybe not appreciate how fancy it is, but you can at least appreciate the fact that she cooked for you and now you don’t have to do it yourself. It’s still serving the other person in a way that’s helpful. A magazine is definitely more an arts and crafts project for yourself. I wouldn’t spend hours and hours in the gard…
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/24 05:58 PM
19

Absolutely. Gifts should be for the other person, not a reflection of something you want for yourself or you want praise for making for them. If you put in a ton of effort on a gift you don’t know they even want then you’re putting the onus on the other person to make you feel good about it, and that’s not really a gift at all then is it?
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/24 04:31 PM
1

I’ve been told by my pediatrician that after about a year the vast majority of their nutrition should come from solid foods, is it possible to have yours say that to your husband?
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/24 05:56 PM
3

Don’t you find issue in how overly general wealth and social status are? They’re so broad they almost stop having a definition all together.
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/24 04:28 PM
4

I’m not sure why you’re being downvoted, I agree with you. A scummy dude who is a millionaire who cheats on you I wouldn’t call a HVM, however, a man who makes 300k a year but can afford to make you a SAHM who treats you well I would call a HVM? Objectively both men make a lot more money than the average and enough to be considered wealthy depending on where they live, but the ‘how they treat you’ is the difference between an actual HVM and some trashy douche bag with money.
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/24 04:25 PM
2

Social circle and status don’t necessarily come with salary though. You can see plenty of it with redneck Rivera’ types, bitcoin dude bros, men whose primarily wealthy is built in some very unstable or unsustainable ways (or get rich quick schemes), etc A man who made enough to buy a 1MM dollar house after being broke off of some get rich quick scheme is much more likely the type to also force his girlfriend to pay rent to him and take care of his kids than a man who is idk a lawyer or a doctor …
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/24 04:19 PM
137

Oy, HVM and ‘has kids from a previous relationship that he wants me to take care of after being together less than a year with no engagement’ do not belong in the same post. That is a LOW value man. He is not high value just because he’s allegedly rich (he is most likely in debt). According to this and your post history he doesn’t sound like a person you want to throw your life away for because that is exactly what you would be doing. No mention of age either is a glaring red flag.
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/24 12:19 AM
6

If it was an easy skill to teach no one would have a weight problem.
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/24 06:26 PM
9

Yup, so much laser focus on becoming a SAHM that they never stop to think about exactly HOW they want their life to look after. Do you want to marry a man who is never home to spend time with these kids you want so badly? Do you want a relationship with someone for the rest of your life who will never be faithful to you? Someone who’s so indifferent about a religion that’s so important for you to raise your family in and have traditions around?
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/24 06:20 PM
11

Agreed, I think maybe vetting is too vague of a term even, but at some point this abuse became repetitive it seems, I would say vetting doesn’t really stop until you’ve gotten to a point of trust through commitment. What that means is different for everyone but I agree with you in that when you’re dating someone early on, if they start to act abusive, even if you felt you properly vetted, obviously you leave instead of digging your heels in further to ‘try and change him’. Idk where anyone gets …
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/24 03:56 PM
55

OP I’ve seen you post frequently in the narcissist relationship subs and as others have mentioned, vetting is at the core of RPW strategy. If you do not properly vet, everything else falls apart. RPW doesn’t work on men who aren’t emotionally healthy or receptive to it, which is why we so heavily stress the importance of it. Unfortunately, RPW seems to draw a lot of women who fall prey to abusive behavior in relationship not because of the strategy itself, but because I think some women feel dra…
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/24 01:16 PM
30

I think this is the crux of I would say the overwhelming majority of personal relationship posts in this sub. They’re hoping to use RPW strategies on men who they have clearly not properly vetted, or are so blind to what vetting means they’re just focused on HVM meaning ‘will financially provide for me’ when what RPW actually advocates for is vetting far beyond this for true long term relationship success. The number of women I see writing in here who are in their early 20s about relationship or…
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/24 01:06 PM
6

The last part of your comment is interesting and I’m curious if you can expand on what you mean by that? You also seem to be talking very vaguely about ‘bettering yourselves as people’, what does that even mean? In what ways specifically? Has he told you that he wants marriage or children one day?
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/24 08:15 PM
4

I wouldn’t exactly state it that way but I would ask him if he has a date in mind by when he sees the two of you married by? You’re in a much different situation than I was when having this conversation with my now husband, but for him the motivation was about having kids and working on life goals together. At your stages in life it doesn’t seem any of those are motivators so he needs to have some intrinsic motivation himself to do it. If he can’t give you a clear idea of when he wants to do it …
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/24 05:38 PM
1

I’m replying late here but when does your husband spend time with your child? It sounds like bedtime is happening around the time he gets home? Are you able to trade off with him doing bedtime sometimes so that you can get a break? It seems like what you’re describing is frustration with him over not helping you postpartum and it’s continuing now because he doesn’t sound in your description to be helping with any of the childcare now?
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/24 05:32 PM
25

If he has 4 streams of income and doesn’t need to work as you say, it seems he has the means to get you out of the business and just doesn’t want to. The other alternative is that he isn’t as wealthy as he leads on and is basically living off of your income. Either way is not good. I don’t think RPW discourages you from having a talk about timelines and expectations? If anything, we encourage it, and especially encourage it before moving in with someone if the goal is toward marriage. There’s a …
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/24 05:20 PM
23

My guy is a little younger than yours (16 months!) but I get you on how hard it is to juggle. Honestly my guy is not the type either to sit and play with toys in his playpen while I cook or clean, so I’ve had to just start incorporating him into my routine! He too is an early bird. If you don’t already, I would get a kitchen helper so your son can be at counter level, I’ve found since around 13 months he can help pour ingredients into bowls if I measure them out, and he gets such a look of satis…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/24 09:27 PM
2

My husband is a software engineer and I too came from a lower middle class background where we never did activities like that outside. I was SO scared and nervous to camp with him for the first time the first year of us dating, I was honest with him that I wanted to do it because it sounds like something I would like but I was nervous about all sorts of things and didn’t know how, and he was so happy and excited to make all sorts of accommodations for me. Now several years and a baby later it’s …
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/24 07:03 PM
1

I think some people will just cope in their own way to justify their own dating habits. Particularly if they have yielded less than desirable results. ‘It’s not ME, it’s THEM who need to change and adhere to my ridiculous expectations’.
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/24 04:29 PM
1

This sounds just like our set up! Some people joke about how old fashioned we are because my husband never cooks or because I do the vast majority of the cleaning, but I tell them I doubt an old fashioned man would be up in the middle of the night rocking his babies to sleep, or feeding them a bottle so mamma can nap. Friends (mostly left leaning ones) always comment about how jealous they are that we seem to have such a ‘chill’ family life compared to what they expect or normally see.
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/24 11:52 PM
2

This is so true! My husband I would say is more traditional than his friends but he has always split nights with the baby with me because he wants me to rest, he has special daddy and son days with him so I get a chance to clean the house or fix my highlights or something. He loves kids and wants us to have a big family. It sounds ‘beta’ but it’s actually one of the most attractive masculine traits about him. I never have to worry about burning out as a mom because my husband won’t let me. I kno…
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/24 03:35 PM
3

I feel like you’re looking at things in an extreme and fail to understand that people can want different things at different stages in their lives? I’ll give you real world examples of these men as they grow, most of the men who I know are married were in LTR in high school or college, broke up after years since one of them moved after graduation, they spend the next couple years in their mid to late 20s dating around meeting different people. Some of those they’ll probably sleep with, again, it…
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/24 02:47 AM
9

I’m going to add to your comment because I think your example is actually pretty spot on of my husband. He definitely slept around in his early to mid 20s, hell, I met him on tinder even! But he also got more religious as he got older, wanted to settle down, and married me at 32. His past has never bothered me, because he’s only ever been faithful our entire relationship, and I never once doubt his character. He doesn’t watch porn out of his own accord, he’s the one pushing me for more kids even…
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/24 12:33 AM
6

I think that’s actually a pretty interesting question for the ladies here that are married, if our men aren’t RP, what traits do they seem to have in common? I know that we often see posts from women dating men who are genuinely RP and wondering why things aren’t working out they way they want, but those of us who are married I would say seem to be to traditionalists?
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/24 12:25 AM
1

If that’s the case how do you explain for so many half siblings? Also how is your advice sage for a woman who wants kids to date a CF man? That’s the worst advice.
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/24 03:37 PM
1

Congratulations!! That’s so incredible! We’re just in the process of TTC baby 2 🙃 would you mind if I DM you some time?
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/24 12:19 AM
3

I have some friends in my circle who were experiencing this both in the case of infertility and also a lesbian couple and they’ve both told me first hand they had wished someone would have been honest with them about how hard and expensive the whole process is let alone the lack of guarantee and constant heartbreak you usually have to endure in the process of using them. It seems like so much and I know both couples are definitely in counseling over how much of a toll it has taken on their marri…
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/24 12:05 AM
1

You’re wildly projecting, seemingly in a way that this subject is touchy to you so I won’t engage further.
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/24 12:01 AM
1

I’m curious to see it if you don’t mind? Everything I’ve ever read indicates that frozen embryos that yield that success rate, not simply eggs on their own.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/24 11:59 PM
5

Yes I agree I’m so sick of the whole ‘you can just freeze your eggs!’ Just as if it’s not an incredibly painful, long, expensive process with incredibly low success rates for how much you’re placing women’s future fertility into it! Let’s be honest with women about fertility.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/24 11:03 PM
2

I’m not mad, I’m being honest about the reality of fertility treatments. You seem a tad mad however?
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/24 11:00 PM
5

I did this before marriage, I used an at home test service called modern fertility that was only about 100 bucks!
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/24 10:44 PM
9

Egg freezing has a less than 20 percent success rate. It’s embryo freezing that’s more successful. Can we please stop lying to women as if freezing their eggs is some sort of get out of jail free card from the effects of aging fertility?
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/24 10:43 PM
10

Not even that much older. There are lots of men who are divorced in their late 30s even looking to start a family ASAP if they haven’t already or looking to continue their family because they’re not ‘old old’ yet.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/24 10:42 PM
4

My husband works for a Bay Area company but fully remote in PA because we would never dream of raising a family there. PA is a great choice because of its proximity to NYC with lower taxes, and strong religious communities.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/24 08:05 PM
1

My husband is in tech so he earns a salary and stock options, I used to be a director in advertising but I don’t plan to return. In my husbands line of work he’s anticipated to earn a 7 figure salary easily in less than 10 years. We just had our first kid over a year ago and plan to have more, and we can afford a nanny and cleaners but we choose to only pay for a cleaner because the whole point of me staying at home is to be the one who raises my own children (this is what my husband wants as we…
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/24 08:01 PM
2

Because this is a sub, you’ve been warned once about your attitude by a mod here, do you want to keep going for a ban? I don’t see how your comment is following the rules of the sub yet again about staying on topic?
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/24 12:36 PM
1

The world will teach you soon enough. Bless your heart.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/24 12:34 PM
1

Again, I never said most, no one did, she’s the one out here heckling commenters who are showing her how it works and how 150k can actually go far with money management skills. She seems intent to pick a fight not learn. No one is saying this is what most people should do. My point is you don’t have to be a millionaire.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/24 12:32 PM
3

You are 18 years old. When you actually live on your own and have adult bills and an adult job you will realize how much time everything actually takes. For now you remain naive.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/24 12:29 PM
-3

I did not say that. I said she seems naive, which she does even in the simple tone of her posts. You are reaching.
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/24 11:36 PM
6

One of the sub rules is quite literally to not insult its members, and as illustrated by my star, I am a long and valuable member at that, not one coming in trying to make inflammatory posts about its members.
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/24 11:35 PM
1

I am a starred contributor of this sub.
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/24 11:30 PM
-6

I never said it was achievable for most people.
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/24 11:30 PM
7

Some of us are educated enough to understand and read these studies, along with several others that indicate that stay at home parents are the ideal for children before they reach school age. But go ahead and try to provoke a starred member of this sub.
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/24 11:29 PM
6

Well what’s the point of your post other than to ask people why they’re even aspiring to it? It’s not for everyone obviously. But for the people who want it they need to find someone who can earn enough to. They’re not advocating for EVERYONE to, they’re asking how THEY can. Again, it’s not feasible for everyone but not everyone wants it either that’s why they’re coming to this niche sub?
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/24 11:27 PM
8

Regardless, this sub isn’t advocating for every woman to be SAH, so I don’t understand the basis of your post to begin with other than for some people it is feasible, yet that’s not the point of this sub?
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/24 11:23 PM
2

He’s 34, he was 32 when we married and made smart choices in life that got him to where he was. He wasn’t a trust fund kid. His mother is a school teacher and his dad is a manager at a factory. Most of the women in my neighborhood who are stay at home mothers are wives of contractors.
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/24 11:15 PM
4

I’m a SAHM and my husband is only year two in his career making 260k a year this last year alone, we live in a 5 bedroom home with a pool and pay the same in mortgage as a 2 bedroom apartment in the city we only live an hour from. We love our lifestyle. You seem a tad naive. I’ll edit this to add since people seem to lack the context of this sub. My BIL earning 100k in New York State also has a SAHM. It is doable.
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/24 11:12 PM
2

Are you a woman or a man?
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/24 11:11 PM
2

With marriage comes age typically, as does buying a house, or having children. All of those things can and will change your friendships. Also now that you’re a family with your own spouse you are part of an entirely new extended family as well. All of that adds more time and energy and responsibility that takes time away from friendships.
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/24 10:50 PM
3

No one is saying anyone’s list of acceptable activities went down, I’m saying for many people their lives change as they age which makes their interests change. You’re the one reaching to extrapolate that that must mean they don’t do as many fun things now that they’re married rather than that their lives just changed. You seem to have gone out of your way to make this point.
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/24 10:13 PM
3

I’m not trying to be discouraging, this sub sees a lot of people coming from soft girl TikTok who don’t ‘get it’ and I was in fact making sure that she did ‘get it’. RP is all about honesty not the self delusion that plagues the TikTok crowd, especially when using their language!
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/24 09:52 PM
1

This is how I feel as well, we have a 10 year old car and I don’t have any designer bags, but we do have a boat and take 3 vacations a year not including weekend trips! It’s all about finding a partner that wants the same lifestyle but with the understanding that you can’t have the happy easy lifestyle with kids AND both parents working. We travel so much because we don’t have to plan around 2 work schedules, my husband knows that all the research shows that children do best at home and avoiding…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/24 09:49 PM
4

Not frequently doesn’t mean never and you do know not everyone thinks of going out to bars as the only way to have fun? Frankly I don’t close down bars with friends anymore because I’d rather wake up early to go for a sail with my husband than finding fun in drinking like I’m 20. My friends who are married would rather join us for a hike and a bonfire after or a dinner party or sailing, or a million other things that don’t revolve doing the same things we did when we were single, it’s just borin…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/24 09:46 PM
4

I don’t see where in OPs comment she said never going out with friends? That seems to be reaching.
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/24 09:36 PM
2

I’m not saying there’s any harm in having aspirations, my point is simply there is a huge middle ground between being upper middle class and truly upper class. I say this as a SAHM with a husband who generously earns so that we don’t have to worry about money for anything, we take generous vacations, have a 5 bedroom house, but we also aren’t wearing Louis Vuitton and flying first class every trip. I see too many girls falling victim to believing they can manifest their way into a childfree soft…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/24 09:35 PM
4

As a woman who is a SAHM, other women don’t get it, men get it. People with children who know the true reality of daycare get it. Don’t worry about the ones who don’t ’get it’.
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/24 09:30 PM
3

I’m not the person you’re asking but be careful with these kinds of things, upper class is not a class even the richest of upper middle class women with the right connections will land. Background is the most important thing to break into these circles and without it you will not other than by sheer chance. There is no point to wasting energy trying for this lifestyle just because someone on tiktok said you could by some ‘laws of manifestation’. No one is out here manifesting a man making multi …
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/24 09:27 PM
1

A commitment that’s serious enough to involve a court, the government, and in the case of religion, is considered one of the most holy sacraments a human can make because you’re deciding to go from 2 people to 1 family which requires you to act and behave in a way that places your family above your own personal wishes.
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/24 08:39 PM
21

When my husband and I married we moved out of the city and I got pregnant quickly after so I would say that it was the physical distance plus distance that comes from being in two totally different places in life that made some relationships more distance. My friends are definitely understanding and expect that family would be prioritized over them, just like any adult who knows that family life comes with responsibilities that single life just simply doesn’t. The issue I find comes with people …
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/24 08:35 PM
6

Do you do yard work every 2 hours around the clock like a breast feeding mother? Or have to do yard work every single day after you get home from work so people don’t die because it’s a basic requirement to live? Let’s stop with false equivalency of generalized yard work which is primarily seasonal anyway.
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/23 04:05 PM
7

I wish we could copy and paste this reply to most of the posts asking for advice here.
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/23 03:59 PM
3

My husband and I just had our first and we’re now really getting hit in the face with the whole ‘life is for living and enjoying and not working’. My husband always wanted to go go now we’re talking about buying a boat and maybe having him work less.
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/23 12:58 PM
2

I’m a SAHM but my husband is fully remote and WFH with a pretty flexible schedule. His job is demanding he works at least 50 hours a week if not more sometimes on weekends but we truly split all childcare outside of that. It’s not typical RP but it’s what works for us and I’m so blessed to have a husband who loves to be as an active of a father as he can be and I’m happy to do all of the cooking and rest of the chores so he can spend time with our son! He knows that I only get time off and sick …
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/23 12:52 PM
2

I love this! I feel like many women who defer decision making to their partners now do it as a sort of shit test to see if ‘does he know me well enough to know what I want RIGHT NOW’, or in a ‘if I’m unhappy with how it turns out then I can blame him since he made the decision’ and it’s extremely toxic and unfeminine but apparently a popular take these days.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/23 11:17 PM
2

Of course same back at ya! I will be checking out your recos as well!
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/23 08:27 PM
2

If you like Sarah I’d recommend Delilah Loeppsky too! Roha is my favorite K creator! I started following her shortly before her first pregnancy and she’s so diligent yet delightful and practical.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/23 03:47 PM
2

My friends who say the same are all in their 30s lamenting about how they wish they could have met a guy like my husband because all they want is to settle down but their bfs are all ‘idk about marriage yet’ or seemingly have little desire to move up in their careers or life any way. If they weren’t my friends I would be more blunt and tell them they could have met a guy like my husband had they been choosier and not chosen to saddle themselves with guys they thought through their love goggles ‘…
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/23 03:37 PM
8

The last sentence is so true. We learn in kindergarten to treat people the way we want to be treated and yet we often don’t in a relationship. I’ve made it a point to ask my husband every morning and night if there’s anything he needs me to do for him that day or night and he asks the same of me. It sounds so silly but actually taking the time for a quick daily ‘meeting’ helps so much in making us feel more accomplished, relaxed, and happy during the days and strengthens our marriage by constant…
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/23 03:31 PM
9

Wonderful explanation, I hope OP reads this! Being the leader of the house doesn’t mean he must make every decision, that’s quite the burden. A CEO doesn’t make every little decision for his company, he has a vision and carefully selects a team to help make that vision come to life. The trust means that you now have an important and defined role in the household and you’ll both be happier for it in the long run.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/23 03:25 PM
2

Take this in the nicest way possible but dwell on the fact that if you think a comment warrants a call to the police you have a life with very few real problems.
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/23 10:13 PM
5

This is exactly the answer I would give too and same experience here. The longest dry spell was post baby, with early relationship being several times a day. Now that baby is 1, I’m a SAHM that’s less frantic and far more rested, we are about 2 or 3 times a week which is perfect for us (although treats like our wedding anniversary weekend away at a fancy hotel was several times in 24 hours lol), my husband and I both take turns initiating with him usually more but sometimes the 2 middle weeks of…
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/23 11:19 PM
4

I’ll say as a woman after kids it’s also important, and I’d like to think my libido is higher than if I had the stress of working and taking care of young children. I’d show him the stats that breastfeeding alone accounts for the same number of hours as a salaried job, and that’s not even including every other aspect of baby care, that’s literally just baby on the boob time alone. That might shift his perspective on the ‘laziness’ of SAHMs. Anyone not doing it themselves at home has to pay someo…
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/23 11:13 PM
2

Of course! I love comfortable things so I live in dresses out of comfort more than style to be honest haha and wearing an oversized open cardigan makes me feel like I’m wrapped in a big blanket all day while still feeling dainty around the waist. I tend to stick to florals or solids, my husband absolutely loves to see me in floral prints.
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/23 12:09 PM
2

@rosa.picosa and @loeppskyslife are good examples of how I dress in winter! I love hill house nap dresses if I can find them on Poshmark or something, or lots of Australian boutique designers (@bonnyrebecca usually wears my favorites) have feminine flowy dresses. I take inspo and usually buy vintage, Poshmark, or thredUP.
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/23 12:36 AM
9

My husband and some prior ex bfs have told me that sundresses are their favorite thing a woman wears. When asked they’ll probably say something more revealing, but when they really think about what catches their attention in real life they all say sundresses. Now that it’s winter (and I’m a SAHM who’s finally back to pre baby size) I nearly live in slinky long sundresses (check out Rosa Picosa at home on social media for dress examples, she is catholic so reasonable modest but still manages to s…
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/23 11:27 AM
2

Pushy how? My MIL is a saint and is the opposite of confrontational but can be ‘pushy’ on certain things if she doesn’t understand or know there’s a different context. For example, she does get upset that my BIL and his family won’t come for both thanksgiving and Christmas but when she was told that my sister in law has certain customs with her family she was more than accommodating and supportive. You don’t have to do this but when I was getting married, I’m NC with my own mother so I invited m…
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/23 03:16 PM
22

Why are you ignoring the part about partying with drugs? What kind of grown adult man and father does crap like that for fun in his free time and puts his needs above his family’s and doesn’t even care to give his wife the courtesy of a proper heads up? Men are allowed to let loose, get drunk have cigars, go fishing, whatever, but partying like you’re a single 20 year old is not man behavior it’s child behavior.
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/23 10:08 PM
12

Partying with drugs involved when you have a young family actually does equate to being morally wrong especially when your wife doesn’t feel comfortable with it and you make no effort to try to be a responsible adult about it. When you have a family your life SHOULD change. Of course everyone should get a break but the nature of your free time even changes, as it should!
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/23 10:06 PM
1

I was just thinking of date night ideas, any particular movie faves?? I have Casablanca on the roster but looking for other classics both my hubby and me will equally enjoy!
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 10:48 PM
3

My husband went to school and lived in NYC for nearly a decade and he always wanted a SAHW as did many of his coworkers in tech and finance. Most of his coworkers now as PHD economists in San Francisco, LA, NYC, etc all have SAHW that they second got a chance moved out to a lower cost of living area when they all got permanent remote roles. Men like that definitely exist, my husband is catholic, 2 of his coworkers are Mormon, another is Jewish and they all have SAHW with multiple children.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 10:42 PM
3

I live in the burbs of PA amongst a heavily quaker community (son will be attending a quaker school despite being catholic haha) and I’m sure you can find Quakers close by in NYC as well. I know you said no to Philly but I would heavily reconsider if you can, I think you would find someone wonderful in the area where there are so so many Episcopalians, quakers, mennonites etc
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 10:37 PM
2

Your beautiful explanation reminded me of why I truly love that my husband is catholic. I’m not, but not as an issue of differing religions or atheism, I just don’t feel a calling the way I wish I did but I very much appreciate his faith and continue in my promise to raise our son that way as well.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 10:35 PM
9

You’re focusing too much on how YOU will feel and missing the point of what the person quoted, trust me I get the urge i do but to rush into a marriage because YOU want a child rather than choosing to wait so that your child can have the father and family dynamic they deserve are different things, unless you’re ready to do the latter I don’t think you should be having kids. You don’t know what your fertility holds, it could be you rushed into settling with someone only to experience fertility st…
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/23 04:37 PM
49

In order for a marriage to truly work you need to respect your husband and it doesn’t sound like you will get there with this guy so it’s better to either focus on what you think you need to see in a man to find one you would respect enough to father your children. Would you want to ‘settle’ on the father of your kids?
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/23 03:52 PM
21

Yup, this describes my husband to a T, he’s into lifting but only as much as he likes to do it daily in our home garage gym haha it’s more important for him to stay in fit to chase after our kids, run races occasionally, and take his wife sailing (loving him an extra lot for this last one lately!). Men who are truly shredded are in it as a lifestyle rather than doing it to maintain their lifestyle.
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/23 12:38 PM
4

Totally agreed. Huge difference in ‘no honey let’s skip going out for date night and let me make a beef Wellington recipe I’ve been meaning to make for you’ and meal prepping for his week.
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/23 12:32 PM
2

Yup, when we met he started a PhD program while I worked in advertising. We split all bills in half despite my making more than him at the time but the plan was always to have me stay at home which he made a reality when we got married about 8 months out from his finishing his program and getting his job. We got pregnant with our first about 2 months after the wedding so I was thankfully able to stay at home my whole pregnancy too before being a SAHM. He was making 6 figures out the gate with lo…
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/23 10:46 PM
3

I find that RPW used to be more centered around marriage (trad) but now that tiktok seems to have shifted toward the vindicta type which is ‘extract all wife benefits prior to marriage’ maybe as a cope to the downward trend in marriage? I’m not sure.
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/23 06:24 PM
2

Interesting! I’m a SAHM so all of our finances are shared so he knows either way haha however we get around it by him getting me gift cards to my favorite spa for Christmas or my birthday!
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/23 06:22 PM
3

I only started ‘asking’ for it when our son was closer to a year old because we’ve been married for nearly 2 years, have a house, and I’m a SAHM. I never would have asked the 5 years prior when we were just dating even living together when I had a job. I don’t even really have to ask for it, I more so ask him to watch the baby so I can get my hair, nails, massage, facial etc done once every other month which is well within our budget and my husband is more than happy to take the little guy out t…
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/23 06:19 PM
7

I dated 2 orthopedic surgeons and a hedge fund manager off of hinge when I was single. There’s no one on raya you won’t meet on hinge. Ironically I met my husband on tinder!
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/23 09:27 PM
4

This right here. Shortly before my husband and I got married I was living away from our apartment for 2 months and the whole thing had not been vacuumed since I had left, and we have 2 cats lol it wasn’t until I vacuumed later he realized the rug color wasn’t grey and felt guilty and apologized for not doing it before I got back lol
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/23 03:17 PM
5

My husband told me he wanted a SAHM and 4 kids, so far I’m a SAHM to an almost one year old about to start on the next, they exist!
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/23 01:54 AM
1

Right that’s why I’m saying it’s not a replacement for medical intervention in the event you need it but no one is running around suggesting women go to a RE for a full work up prior to getting married. I think it’s a little silly to get so hung up on the peace of mind aspect. Obviously if a test is saying you’re fine and then you’re not getting pregnant when you want to you’ll go to the dr.
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/23 09:36 PM
1

I’m not sure what you’re talking about and genuinely curious because modern fertility doesn’t market themselves as something you do when you are actively having fertility issues, that’s why you would go to a RE. I used Modern Fertility myself and it DOES check ovarian reserve markers etc. the whole point is if you’re a normal young healthy woman it can give you any red flags that would warrant a discussion with a RE BEFORE you start trying and potentially wasting a year TTC before having to see …
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/23 06:55 PM
2

My list is the same, now married and with a nearly 1 year old about to try for the next 😊
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/23 01:59 PM
6

Except most marriages DONT end in divorce. Divorce rates have been on the decline for years and even at their highest in the 80s and 90s they were only half. I will warn you it’s not just the content he consumes that will make you develop contempt. It’s that he’ll actually live these principles in real life. Youre planning children? Contempt is what you will feel at 3am after your millionth night awake after being the only one to take care of your child all day and night because of his views. My…
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/23 10:16 PM
3

I love your story because the clear distinction is that he had a plan and stuck to it! It wasn’t some vague finish line but a real one. My husband and I started dating when he started his PhD and I took on a promotion making 100k but I knew once he finished and got a job I’d be a SAHM, and I am! Also moved in after a year of dating and married after 5 years of grad school!
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/23 10:10 PM
4

Our little guy will be one 2 weeks before Halloween so we’re doing a flinstones theme! Baby will be bam bam and we’re going as Fred and Wilma!
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/23 09:32 PM
9

Those aren’t mutually exclusive though? You see women in this sub all the time asking for relationship advice with men who are unemployed, make less than them, while they run around doing all of the earning, child rearing, AND home care. Just because a man can’t provide doesn’t mean he’s going to be some grand love to make up for it. You don’t have to be a multimillionaire, hell you don’t even have to make 6 figures or make your wife a SAHM, but if you’re the type of man who can’t even get his s…
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/23 09:15 PM
10

In that case I’d recommend some of the resources in the side bar of this sub! There’s tons of recommended reading, if you read some of the basics posts on here from endorsed and vetted members it’s a good place to start.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/23 06:34 PM
7

No, tarot cards. Although I personally find a PhD in political science kind of silly.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/23 06:08 PM
73

I’m not one to be on the dump this guy train but I would view it as a major red flag if he watches them religiously especially at his age.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/23 06:06 PM
2

I have a degree in political science I guarantee you he and his friends find it a joke.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/23 06:04 PM
5

That’s not what he’s saying. Think of it the other way around, you’re already trauma dumping on a guy which is relationship level emotional conversations and on his end he’s not getting any of the relationship level physical connection. So you are getting an outlet for your emotions and he’s getting no physical affection, of course he won’t want to move forward when you’re not at the same pace or expectations.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/23 06:01 PM
17

The exception isn’t the rule. The rule is that the vast majority of people into those things these days BECAUSE they lack critical thinking skills or the ability to understand science so they claim that by having vast knowledge of a made up subject is on par with being a real scientist or philosopher or what have you. Mayim Balik has a PhD and that hasn’t precluded her from being a moron.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/23 05:51 PM
29

Once you’re actually in a relationship or decide to be exclusive.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/23 03:29 PM
1

Adding to clarify it might be mucinex in the US, also definitely take a good supplement that includes choline and folate as many do not!
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/23 03:16 PM
1

What contingencies? You’re treating a casual family party like planning military tactics.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/23 03:13 PM
6

I’ve had to practice responding with questions instead of with statements if that makes sense. Because I also found myself often directing conversation back to me too much! When someone is upset, I will ask them if they want an ear and shoulder to lean on or advice. When someone is excited I ask them any and all questions I can think of to show them that I’m interested and happy to share anticipation and joy.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/23 03:08 PM
4

I find myself being your husband in this instance while I don’t do it around my child or even to or about him, I will get irrationally stressed and angry like things are ‘falling apart’ over something minor not having been done because in my mind it’s just ‘another thing that will lead to a domino effect’. The clothes not being in place will mean bedtime routine is pushed to find them or the morning routine is off, and then being late to work, or not having time to make coffee, etc etc it’s not …
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/23 03:05 PM
25

You say people but are you talking about men or women? My husband is an Econ PhD not even STEM, and he immediately gets turned off by astrology/tarot talks and definitely judges the other person (whether warranted or not) as less intelligent. Most of his PhD colleagues feel similar and it’s pretty cringe to bring it up but the divide is pretty clear between men and women on the subject. He’s got two Ivy League degrees including his PhD so I wouldn’t call it a ‘degree mill’.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/23 02:52 PM
3

I’m going to send this to all of my on the fence friends who ‘aren’t sure yet’ despite being in their early 30s, married, stable 6 figure salaries, and homes lol I was the first in my friend group to take the leap on kids and my husband and I tell them all the time how amazing it is in a way you can’t even explain to someone who doesn’t have kids. So many people think about what they want to do in their 30s and 40s but rarely about their lives after. My husband and I travel so much more than our…
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/23 02:14 PM
6

It’s true for me and my circle as well. I used to work in politics, high viz and high paying career in my early 20s. I was published in newspapers and had done interviews for magazines by the time I was 19 and still juggling a dual degree and internships and now I’m a SAHM to an 11 month old planning to have more to my PhD husband. He had plenty of beautiful women but he wanted someone beautiful and intelligent, understandably, he has three Ivy League degrees. My husband works in tech where ever…
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/23 02:07 PM
1

She’s the breadwinner of their family now through her social media. Loosely in that she still works but they don’t need her to.
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/23 02:02 PM
2

I think most men these days expect cohabitation before marriage. I lived with my now husband for 3 years before he proposed, although I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it until there is an engagement, but I can also see how it’s not really a popular stance to take these days and many men will want to see what it’s like to live together. Someone higher up made a good comment about how you shouldn’t give wife privileges even if you’re living together. Don’t be doing all of the chores, don’t have ki…
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/23 01:58 PM
7

Financially - my husband earns all the money but I had a fair amount of savings we used to buy our house last year. Household chores - I do all of the cooking, meal planning, grocery shopping. Husband will make his own lunch during the day because he just prefers to do it on his own schedule since we have a baby and his meetings are all over the place. I do all of the indoor cleaning but he does do the cat litter, weekly mowing, and pool maintenance. I’ll do the gardening and pruning. Childcare …
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/23 07:26 PM
1

Yeah I’m not sure how the nuclear option helps unless you’re fully willing to have it backfire. Because then if you want to stay then you’re the one groveling next to try and get them back.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/23 03:45 PM
2

No they are mutually exclusive because you’re either getting someone to provide for you or you’re also the provider. There’s nothing wrong with either but why do you want someone to ‘provide’ for you when you clearly can provide well for yourself? And so what? If you want a provider he’s not going to be a provider when you make more money than them, then YOU are the provider. What are you trying to get out of this? You’re single in your 30s and talking in circles without actually making any clea…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/23 02:05 PM
4

Are you looking for a provider or to keep your career after marriage? If your career is such a turn off on a first date I guarantee it’s the way you’re talking about it. Why and how do they know how much you make? Do you talk only about your job on dates?
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/23 01:38 PM
2

Maybe having this attitude about it is a turn off. I had a high profile job in my 20s, was making 95k a year at 26 and I still managed to get married to a man with a PhD who made me a SAHM.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/23 01:37 PM
12

Whoever does the asking does the paying.
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/23 01:20 PM
1

I always make ratatouille when I want to impress. It’s fool proof in that it’s basically just a bunch of veggies roasting with tomato sauce so it’s hard to screw up unless you leave it in the oven for too long! Just slice the veggies with a mandolin and arrange in a circle in a le cruesuet or similar and it will look stunning and taste amazing for how simple it is. Goes great with home made bread to eat it with or over some pasta or on the side with some fish.
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/23 12:10 PM
20

I think this is the line that gets blurred with many of the new comers or men in this sub.
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/23 10:34 AM
62

You’re confusing mens subs for women’s subs. The demo of the sub I’m sure has changed more recently but the YouTube and tiktok Pearls (not our lovely mod who has since retired) of the world ranting about how women shouldn’t vote blah blah that’s not what this sub is about. I don’t think the wildly incendiary comments some social media personalities spout are actually in line with the philosophy that this sub espouses because it’s just ranting, there’s no actual real life application or nuance to…
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/23 10:33 AM
22

Do you know what sub you’re in? Raising children is quite literally the most important job because without a woman doing it you literally wouldn’t have men to run around and ‘build civilization’. The world needs both men and women to survive, no one is doing ‘more important’ work than the other. The whole reason women started the first wave feminist movement was for this reason, they didn’t want to work the way men did, they wanted the basic recognization and acknowledgment that their labor was …
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/23 10:24 AM
3

You summed up my word salad better than I could have! The second wave screwed us all.
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/23 12:31 PM
7

I agree with you, I think with kids it’s just not possible without some resentment. Without, I can see why it’s a very freeing arrangement.
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/23 12:29 PM
8

I think ironically the reason we see more men expecting their wives to work is because of lifestyle inflation. Not to discount how expensive it is to own a home and have kids now, but people used to marry in their early 20s. You don’t really have time or resources by then to want for anything other than the new found independence you have. Both are willing to buy the crappier house, live more of a commute from work, have kids share rooms, etc knowing that they’ll make more money as their career …
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/23 12:24 PM
2

I did this and had a fully remote job that paid very well but was very demanding and I can not fathom anyone doing it while also having a baby at home which is why I promptly quit when I was pregnant. I knew my meetings and work wouldn’t slow down for my morning sickness and it was pretty telling that the only women who made it to senior positions were child free. All of the women with senior positions who had children later were essentially demoted in everything but title.
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/23 12:48 PM
4

Idk, in every case I’ve personally ever seen it’s a select number of white men who fetishize and go after Asian women. I know many white men, typically liberal metros who exclusively date Asian women.
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/23 11:42 AM
2

I don’t think there’s a line in the sand of if you’ve had over x number of partners you’re beyond hope or something. I think it’s more about the pattern. If you’re constantly sleeping around, you’re constantly avoiding commitment and relationships, I think it’s bad for both men and women. If you’re in a constant cycle of looking for the next best thing, it’s bad for your mental health and bad for your ability to maintain a long term relationship and marriage. There’s nothing stopping you from br…
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/23 11:24 AM
1

I love the lemon capellini! Seconding this.
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/23 11:20 AM
2

Idk that it was them who ‘made’ us learn these modern skills. They’re just suffering alongside the rest of us.
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/23 07:59 PM
3

It depends what you mean by mature? I had my first baby last October and I still don’t feel like a real adult haha congrats by the way!!
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/23 07:57 PM
2

Some people are just shy! Don’t hesitate to reach out, I’m sure so many people will be happy you did 😊
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/23 07:25 PM
1

I wouldn’t take it too personally. I got super busy after marriage and I’m sure it’s a cultural thing where they are shy. I was the first of my friends to get pregnant and my husband tried to put me in touch with the wife of his friend who has a child but of course she was so busy and I thought she wasn’t reaching out because she didn’t want to, so I reached out to her after asking my husband to ask his friend for her number and we’re such good friends now. You mention you’re more bubbly, I woul…
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/23 06:45 PM
1

Definitely on the same page! It’s a toolbox! I’m reminded all the time that I’m probably one of the few trad con on here haha
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/23 05:23 PM
3

This! Cook him his favorite meal tonight for dinner! The one that takes a little long and will keep you up a little longer after the kids have gone to bed. I’m sure he’ll be over the moon.
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/23 05:19 PM
3

Does he have any married friends? Making friends with his friends wives will be a huge asset to you, both in that they can probably help you and be more blunt about any faux pas or guide you in cultural norms. Also a win because you’re showing him that his friendships are important to you and that you respect and honor them and his culture.
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/23 05:18 PM
1

I don’t think you need to have kids I was giving an example as to traditional marriages. I think the ‘right amount’ is probably going to vary a lot based on who you’re dating, religious background, personal values, etc. For my family anyway, marriage is the change from 2 individuals to one. That’s typically why children are so important because they bind you together, you can find plenty of things to work together on as a couple. I know child free people in marriages where they waited to buy a h…
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/23 05:09 PM
2

My husband and I met on tinder lol he dated a lot of women, he went from major metro to metro dating all sorts of women. Within 2 weeks of dating which we thought would be casual, he asked me to be exclusive. He knew what he wanted and it didn’t matter to him if ‘there was always someone younger and hotter around the corner’ because most of the women he dated weren’t matching the level of intellect and maturity he wanted. I feel bad for you if that’s your perspective on dating. We’re happily mar…
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/23 01:24 PM
2

Idk how you’re getting the last part of that. Men who have been married for decades tend to be in happy marriages and are just as happy to have a partner that’s been by their side most of their life.
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/23 01:07 PM
3

Oh honey. Idk if this advice is good for her, I know it’s your personal situation but idk that giving a commitment phobic man a child is a great pathway to marriage. What does he ‘want to improve on’ before marriage that wasn’t done when you got pregnant? Children are a far bigger commitment than marriage.
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/23 01:05 PM
2

If he’s not even sure about kids why are you with him? It’s like the one universal definite deal breaker. You can’t compromise on kids, you want them or you don’t, and someone saying ‘I don’t want them but maybe with you I will’ is him saying ‘I don’t want kids but I’m not mature enough to realize yet that we need to break up and I don’t want to just yet’. I was you, TRUST me. I had so many fights about getting engaged because it would make me feel better with my then boyfriend who was in grad s…
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/23 01:01 PM
1

Marriage is different, to people that it matters to its sacred. In my husbands religion, it’s literally the most sacred sacrament a person can take outside of becoming a priest. What’s special is you wait until marriage to have children, you become ONE unit. I don’t think people who don’t view marriage this way and haven’t been married can truly grasp it but you’re essentially a roommate with benefits before marriage, marriage makes you a family. It gives you something to work together on for th…
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/23 12:52 PM
0

Have you looked into Noom? They’re an app that works on helping you develop healthy habits with food and focuses a lot more on the mental aspect of weight loss.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/23 11:12 PM
2

Adding on here that many at home meal companies like hello fresh offer low calorie plans!
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/23 11:11 PM
2

It definitely is it’s seen as ‘not giving your all’ to the program.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/23 01:23 PM
5

I never said there was anything wrong with getting a PhD or anything, and I’m pretty highly educated myself. I’m glad my husband got his degree, I supported him throug it if you actually read my comment. My point is it’s RARE to get married and have kids in that program in the US anyway. Maybe your country is more flexible with those programs but DEFINITELY not in the US. I’ve had friends request a year off med school or a PhD and have had their funding cancelled for the entire rest of the progr…
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/23 10:05 AM
2

I’m sure it will help! I personally had my fertility tested when we were dating and while it looked good the service I used actually maps out an ‘ideal’ timeline for conception based on your age, hormones, number of children.
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/23 09:28 PM
4

There’s more research now that it’s actually very similar. Male sperm quality and even count declines with age particularly after 40 similar to women. My husband did a little more research as well when I explained to him and I think that also helped solidify his feelings to start sooner, IVF is hard enough without age factors let alone two people in their late 30s who may be seeing a decline already.
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/23 09:27 PM
6

Men don’t know these things honestly, it’s up to her to spell this out for him. I did for my husband and he proposed to me a month later because he realized we had to start ‘right away’ in his words lol
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/23 07:14 PM
7

Yup. I just turned 30 and all of my friends are either married or in this exact situation. Idk anyone who’s been with someone for so long and gets to 30 to magically get married and have a kid.
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/23 07:09 PM
28

I actually agree with this as someone whose now husband and I were together for 5 years before we got married. We met when we were 23 and 26 respectively. We fell in love, he promised to propose, and then didn’t so we broke up at the 2 year mark. We got back together nearly a year later and didn’t get engaged for another year and a half. I’m a rare situation and I know it. Similar as many other situations, my husband and I moved cities within 6 months of dating for his PhD program. Do NOT date m…
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/23 07:05 PM
2

For some people it’s a safety thing. My sisters bf had asked her to and he did the same for her because they live in the city and both come home from work after dark usually walking.
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/23 11:19 AM
2

Same here! I got pregnant about a month and a half after we got married so we definitely rushed into that family lifestyle haha
/r/RedPillWomen20/06/23 12:19 AM
1

You’re spot on, I’d argue that’s even more reason to prioritize spending at home while they’re young to develop that bond with dad. There’s time to go out and be social as your child grows, I don’t see how having a baby under 6 months old is the time to be doing that and prioritizing your social calendar. But agreed with you that there needs to be a gentle approach because he also won’t understand without more time, in my experience anyway, have a newly turned 8 month old!
/r/RedPillWomen20/06/23 12:12 AM
2

Yup, if we have nights out, it’s together as a married couple and the grandparents are babysitting. This isn’t to say we ‘don’t allow each other’ but my husband and I just don’t really see the need with young infant at home. He’s definitely had cigars with the boys, but instead of at a cocktail bar it’s at our home in the yard, not because I ask him to, he’s a traditionalist and values family time together and being physically close to us as much as he can.
/r/RedPillWomen20/06/23 12:09 AM
3

It’s common, and I don’t understand it. Have a prenup if you must, but I don’t get the point of getting married and merging your lives together but not your finances? You should have shared financial goals, and marriage is about sharing, I truly don’t understand it, I see it lead to so much resentment and fighting especially once you have kids in the picture.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/23 11:35 PM
5

Oh I love road trips!! We love traveling with our little one, it’s different but in some ways it’s even better seeing all of our favorite things from a new set of eyes. We’re spending a month in a remote island in the Bahamas with our little guy soon, he LOVES the water and knows how to swim a bit already. People are always amazed by our traveling but we don’t believe life stops after kids, it gets better.
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/23 04:52 PM
3

I know SO SO many fence sitters who say ‘I want to travel’. My husband and I have an 8 month old who we have traveled with cross country and internationally, and they haven’t left the state basically in 2 years.
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/23 04:17 PM
5

I’ll answer bullet by bullet here with my own experiences. -Yes, it does. Having a child bonds a couple in a way literally nothing else can replicate. If both are equally committed to raising children, it bonds you in a deep way and forces you to work as partners on a life long project. Men are inclined to see the two of you as a captain and a first mate, you both have equal and different responsibilities in a marriage this way. -Yes again. My husband and I said even the first week after our fir…
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/23 04:13 PM
2

I’ll throw this out there, it’s a no mostly but a yes in some circles of HVM. In my circles, it’s an absolute yes. My husband is a PhD economist, catholic, wants 3 children, and has made me a SAHM. In his words, he dated women who didn’t go to college, but he married one who went to a good one.
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/23 05:26 PM
1

I think it can definitely attract a certain type of nerd who doesn’t realize how wildly offensive they’re being to other people. Usually not the ones with wives! Meanwhile, my husband has a PhD in economics from an Ivy but he doesn’t like to spend his free time talking about work purely because he comes from a lower educated family and doesn’t want to be ‘that guy’. SAHM means we can spend our weekends relaxing, I think many men in his department who are otherwise outwardly very liberal have thi…
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/23 05:48 AM
1

Just coming in here to state that actually LOTS of Phds want SAHMs, my husband is one of them and half his colleagues!
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/23 02:32 AM
1

Oh man I always forget it’s different for everyone. We had to do a course that took about 40 hours to complete, and then an in person half day work shop. They also required a minimum of 6 months to marriage, but I think that might be standard? But yes I totally agree, I think waiting plus the pre marriage counseling, of any kind really, I think would make such a difference.
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/23 03:23 PM
1

Late to this thread but I always love reading your content. My husband and I did pre canna and I think it should be a requirement for everyone wanting to marry.
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/23 12:55 PM
3

This is exactly our set up. I used to use my allowance for even buying a mascara or shampoo and my husband was surprised and said, no that’s for our shared card, haha! He has shared with me our master spreadsheet of our finances that he updates weekly but I honestly don’t look at it unless he insists on showing me something to ask for my opinion.
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/23 12:02 PM
3

SAHM of a 7 month old. I worked in advertising and was a junior director when I quit as we got married. We knew we wanted me to be a SAHM, and we could afford to have me start staying at home sooner so we did. I got pregnant right after we got married so it was nice to have the transition before being a mom to get a routine down for the home. Now onto finances. I had a bit of student loan debt but paid it off with careful saving once I got my first job out of college. I met my husband before he …
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/23 12:00 PM
27

Yes. It’s usually a red flag alone if a man mentions that he’s RP, not to say you shouldn’t date him, but those spaces tend to have a lot of this kind of thinking, there’s a lot of rage there. These are not normal things to say to a woman. Especially not a man you intend to ever have a long term committed relationship with. I’m a SAHM, I would be devastated if cheating happened. It’s absolutely not in my husbands nature, he takes commitment and the sanctity of marriage very seriously. Humans, li…
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/23 12:32 AM
2

Oh I can imagine. I see many spouses magically appear at Easter mass and my husband turns to me and says ‘I think you’ve attended more often than half the people who took communion!’ it seems frustrating to be on the other side of that. I honestly love the ritual, I just don’t have a calling to the religion myself but I’m very happy to bring our baby each week and hang out in the cry room, our philosophy is that it’s good for him to grow up in a religion even if he decides differently on his own…
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/23 02:40 PM
2

Just want to offer perspective that all denominations view pre martial sex as a sin, it’s not really the thing that distinguishes Catholics from Protestants. An understanding of the religion is really important context before providing advice. There are certain things that are not worth compromising on, especially when she’s already so young. There are far greater regrets to have in life than dumping a decent but incompatible boyfriend at 18 (not that I’m saying she should, just giving perspecti…
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/23 01:48 PM
5

You’ve summarized this best, coming from a woman who is not catholic married to one. It’s a huge sacrifice you have be willing and enthusiastic to make. I went through pre canna, convalidation, weekly mass, all of it. Our kids will be baptized and raised in the church. Just because it’s not my religion or close to anything I grew up with doesn’t mean I don’t think it’s a good thing for our family. But the key is that the non religious partner needs to be the kind of person who will wake up on Su…
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/23 01:43 PM
5

I think it’s actually the lack of what I had that drew me to it. My husband had a wonderful childhood with two parents who are still crazy about each other and value family so much they literally both retired within 6 months of us having our first. My MIL is very traditional, a catholic elementary school teacher, she loves children and taking care of her family and home. Any chance she gets she takes to help us and takes great joy in it! I’m so thankful that she and I are very close as she’s lik…
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/23 01:35 PM
1

I hear you, get a stroller fan! I took my little guy out in some over 80 degree weather with one and a stroller cover and he slept really comfortably and didn’t get hot at all. They’re about 20 bucks on Amazon and super helpful for the birth room as well. They’re bendy and can be twisted to latch onto anything.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/23 08:02 PM
1

Congrats on the little one!! Feel free to DM me! I was in the same boat as you with few friends around with kids. We started stroller naps early, pretty much since he started on a nap schedule but he was napping in a stroller since birth. With newborns they fall asleep basically anywhere lol so he was probably used to us out and about in it. Now he always falls asleep on a walk or in the car literally wherever we go! Consider getting a stroller with a bassinet attachment so you can start as earl…
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/23 07:53 PM
2

Everyone is a frump mom with a fupa, for the first few weeks or months anyway. That’s the reality of postpartum, sometimes your skin sags from having carried a human being, your boobs hang differently. You won’t have time for more than 5 minutes to shower in the early newborn stage, you’ll look frumpy then, it’s fine, it’s not forever. The trick is to incorporate it into your routine where you can. I remember the first few weeks (my baby is 6 months old so it was not that long ago!) I couldn’t e…
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/23 06:48 PM
3

Because in adult relationships both partners want to feel like they’re getting as much as they’re giving to the other in the relationship even if that’s in different ways.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/23 09:47 AM
4

Agreed. I was a SAHW while pregnant and just had our first, it is absolutely not enough to fill your day. Children on the other hand make it incredibly fulfilling and tend to be a full time job on top of a part time one is how I describe it. I see a few people mention this is how they live, I have never once met someone who lived like that without ever having a side gig or significant volunteer work over decades. I genuinely don’t think it’s sustainable because there just is not enough to do. Un…
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/23 09:42 AM
2

I think some is the operative word. I was a SAHW while pregnant, I did all of that whilst gestating, looking for our new home, baby prep, and still had time to nap 3 hours a day or more. It’s not long term sustainable without some form of a part time job or volunteer work. I think some of the points being made here are that children are a full time job, managing a house of 2 people and taking care of a capable adult is not. But then once you add in some form of outside work are you a stay at hom…
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/23 09:36 AM
2

Was looking for your response. Many commenting here that they have seen this dynamic work are missing the point that tends to be reality. It’s not sustainable in the long term. YouTuber’s doing this? YouTube is their job, they’re obviously not doing just that all day. Same with others I have seen, they’re not truly housewives as they typically fall into an at home or part time or self made business. Without children there’s truly not enough to fill the day without a job of some sort.
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/23 02:02 PM
1

I asked here several months ago for some advice on raising a boy, my little guy is here now and while only a couple of months this is making me excited for his childhood. We recently moved to a cute little town where I actually see boys playing in the culdesac and a Boy Scout cabin right by the river near us!
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/23 03:51 PM
1

I’m going against the grain on an older post here but I was the free spirited hippie type when I met my now husband. He found it attractive if not probably a little naive as he was in his late 20s and I in my early to mid 20s when we met. I made my long term intentions clear, I think he honestly liked the idea of ‘taming the wild woman’ but he also gets a fun wife now that loves to take our family on adventures. That said, it does limit your options, my husband is a very specific type lol
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/23 09:42 PM
6

My go to though is thredUP. I prefer buying second. I’ve gotten amazing deals on name brands from anthro, and my FAVORITE Hill House nap dress on there for so much cheaper than retail.
/r/RedPillWomen22/02/23 10:03 PM
10

No it’s not, if he’s convincing you that it’s some type of difference in being secure or not that’s unhealthy. I see my husband every single day, relationships naturally move towards seeing another more and more not less. How many couples in long term relationships do you know that go weeks without seeing each other and prefer it that way?
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/23 03:00 PM
0

I never understood stress about weddings. A wedding is only as huge or stressful of an event as you make it on yourself. Parenthood? Objectively stressful. Wedding planning? Self inflicted. It’s a good test in setting boundaries to maintain your stress and emotional regulation in marriage. What ever is stressful in planning just delegate to someone else. Remind yourself of the ‘snap shot’ moments, for me it was finding local flowers that had meaning to us. I let my friend who does flowers source…
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/23 02:24 PM
9

OP, why did you choose to have kids with this man? It doesn’t sound like you’ve ever been all that committed to him through marriage but you felt ok making an even bigger commitment in the way of having two kids. I’m also not getting much of his side of the story here but it doesn’t seem that his feelings on that matter mean that much to you. You’ve already committed to this man in a profound way, and unfortunately you brought kids into the mix when you weren’t sure about him as a life partner, …
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/23 02:12 PM
3

Common doesn’t make it right. Speaking as someone born in one of those countries and moved to the US by my father who was horrified by the treatment of women there having grown up there. Even backwards cultural practices are recognized as harmful in those cultures.
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/23 06:42 PM
1

I think we as women often place more importance on things that we perceive that WE would never forget and fail to realize that men and women are inherently different. If he’s not remembering he’s not ‘the bad guy’ despite what modern discourse would have us believe. We often hear from other women ‘well if he TRULY LOVED YOU he’d put in an effort to remember or do x y z’. This is really taking something benign to an extreme. My husband may not remember things I’ve mentioned before but that doesn’…
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/23 02:34 AM
2

If it makes you feel better I used to be in a similar position as you. Girl bossed and sassed my way through my early 20s. Then I met my now husband and did a complete 180. I never saw a true male led relationship, even with my own parents where my mother THOUGHT she was being traditionally minded but made my dad and myself absolutely miserable by constantly starting drama for no reason. My husband never demanded or even asked me to have this dynamic in our relationship, it came so naturally for…
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/23 02:03 AM
5

Bless you for your work in this sub 🙏
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/23 12:09 AM
1

Judging by your post history you’re in the wrong sub and also seemingly obsessed with this. You need therapy not a relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/23 08:52 PM
7

Aren’t you a man? Judging by your post history you seem to be and don’t seem to be in a successful long term relationship so your advice is not really welcome here.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/23 06:14 PM
7

This is a weird take, especially for this sub.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/23 06:09 PM
5

This is the perfect answer. Women often make poor dating choices and then blame men or society for their lack of relationships. It’s kind of the narrative in mainstream culture too with all of the ‘f men they all suck’ comments, without an ounce of introspection as to how they are causing their own issues by picking poorly.
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/23 06:16 PM
31

Yes!! Exactly this. OP I’m in exactly your position. My husband is a PhD economist and we met when I was launching my career. I’m a SAHM now and I worry I’m losing that intellectual drive that attracted him to me (he told me early in courting that he started explicitly looking for highly educated women). He said all he’s ever wanted was this, an intelligent woman who he trusts to stay at home in order to raise intelligent children.
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/23 04:04 PM
3

I think this is a good middle ground. It will mitigate the constant ‘can you change your shirt’.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/23 01:50 PM
10

This! You said it perfectly about the worst kind being one where it doesn’t look or feel like a bad relationship but it is. They’re the hardest to break out of but most important because otherwise it’s very easy to get stuck in them with no movement for years and years.
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/23 02:10 PM
6

Their channel is called Sailing La Vagabonde! Strap in for a binge, they’ve got 7 years of videos!
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/23 11:51 PM
10

It doesn’t sound that way to me. What does a 6 week trip do to prevent them from having kids? She said herself she’s happy to conceive on the trip! You can do both. If anything she’ll probably be even happier knowing she took this trip before she’s saddled at home with babies and toddlers over the next few years.
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/23 02:20 PM
9

There’s a YouTube channel I love, not related to relationships or femininity at all, it’s a sailing channel with a couple who have been sailing around the world for nearly 10 years and now have 2 young children that they raise on board. They actually were the first to make me realize that I didn’t need to come from a conservative background to have a male led relationship and that even despite political leaning it’s possible to lean into femininity. They are very very non traditional (not marrie…
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/23 02:16 PM
14

Man this is tough. Has he said why he doesn’t want to go even with you? You two clearly have the means and the time at your age. It’s a lot easier to go on a trip with lots of walking now than retirement age! I told my husband before getting married that travel is extremely important to me. We dont do luxury often, it’s not big expensive trips that put a strain on our finances, I just have a strong will to explore the world. I said there was one trip I wanted to do my whole life and we took 2 we…
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/23 01:54 PM
14

Wouldn’t him going with her negate that fear? I can understand if she’s traveling on her own but she’s happy to have him come with her.
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/23 01:46 PM
2

I appreciate it! And yes exactly! Women are always complaining about how men are always looking for sex while we’re always the ones looking for commitment. We get offended because commitment is ‘wholesome’ where as sex is not so we automatically place our desires over that of a man, and then get mad. Can you imagine the reaction if a man talked about sex the way women do about commitment?
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/23 07:22 PM
10

Learn about personal finance. It’s my biggest advice to anyone getting married. Discuss your financial goals as a couple. Money is one of the biggest causes of divorce. It can lead to a lot of fights and resentment. Some things to ask each other. -How are we managing our accounts? Separately or joint? One joint and two separate is in my opinion the best way to go. That way you both have a little cash to spend in a way you don’t feel you need to justify as well as a joint account for all househol…
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/23 05:57 PM
8

As a new parent myself, the best we can do is impart our own values and advice. We can’t rely on culture. Raising a child with strong values comes from us and we can’t expect the world to not be what it is.
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/23 05:41 PM
5

I guess my question is why do you care about the cultural impact? If you meet a man who expects that of you, move on. Some women genuinely want to sleep around, some men will not want to. In a society where more women are sexually liberated, men will use it as an opportunity because they’re sexual beings, it’s a base desire. That’s fine. If anything, it probably helps a lot in vetting because there’s less pressure on men to mislead you on their intentions if all they’re looking for is to get lai…
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/23 02:47 PM
2

This is so true of social media. It’s half aspirational half people bitching like it’s their personal therapy session.
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/23 02:10 PM
1

This is a tough one! I think having your partner talk to her is great but also unfortunately all you can do. I think once the time comes I’m sure your partner will put in the effort to make it memorable and exciting. Just try to compartmentalize when she brings it up and have your partner find a gentle way to change the subject when she does. Other than that, maybe try to remind yourself in the moment to give her some grace, she’s in a tough position and I can’t imagine how hard it must be for h…
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/23 05:42 PM
1

I had an epidural and I literally slept through labor. I only woke up to push and even pushing didn’t hurt. Nothing in life is a guarantee but you can make it a lot easier. OB medicine is leaps and bounds better than even 20 years ago. The desire for a child for me eventually out ranked my fear. I think it’s a good test of parenting actually. The first months of parenting were the hardest I’ve ever been through. It made pregnancy and birth seem like a breeze in comparison. But, it’s all about pu…
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/23 02:06 PM
60

This is going to sound harsh but I think deep down you do realize it’s true. The way you’re painting your husband he sounds awful and cruel. I think what you’re looking for is this validation and possibly even some people to tell you to leave. I’m not a fan of this advice. You have unfortunately already built a life with this man but in order to fix anything you both need to be on board. I think it’s fair to tell your husband that cooking, cleaning, and child rearing are all additional responsib…
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/23 01:52 PM
6

You will be so missed! It’s totally understandable why you’re leaving. I’m still blaming tiktok for the demise of quality posts on this sub. It’s frustrating what type of advice seems to get up voted most on here as it doesn’t usually align with RPW values and often isn’t even advice. Wish you all the best!
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/23 04:11 PM
8

23 - met my future husband on Tinder while living in my college city starting my career 24 - we move to a new city near our home towns for him to start a PhD 25 - we break up because we didn’t seem to be on similar timelines 26 - we get back together with the intention to marry after at least one year 27 - move back in together 28 - we get engaged and married in my dream destination wedding and honeymoon 29 - my current age, my husband finished his program and got a great job, we bought our firs…
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/23 03:09 AM
4

Not been married that long but I just had a baby and it’s been a lot harder than I imagined as I’m sure it is for all new parents. My husband and I remind each other that everything is a season. It has kept me sane. I remind myself that hard things aren’t hard forever and that one day the hard parts will be a distant memory. It helps to shift my mindset to try to focus on keeping mental or even digital snap shots of good things that happen each day. A moment of peace, my baby’s morning smiles, t…
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/22 06:40 PM
4

Seconding this. I know it’s not an option for everyone especially in this economy. But if you’re given the option, I don’t see why you wouldn’t. You only get one chance at giving your kids a childhood that they and you will cherish their entire lives. I’m pretty new at the whole parenting thing but I’m so blessed to be able to stay at home and have a fully remote working husband so we’ll all have so many memories our whole lives and a strong family bond.
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/22 02:21 AM
5

Weddings are for women, men truly don’t care. I planned nearly every detail and my husband was basically surprised and had an amazing time and complimented me on all the choices. I know him well enough to incorporate the details he liked and also knew better than to bother him with the details when he had more important things to worry about. My husband cares about marriage itself though, it sounds like the ceremony and symbolism of it doesn’t matter much to your fiancé which is fine if it’s not…
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/22 02:15 AM
3

We’re so glad to have you here! It sounds like you guys are off to a great start 😊 this analogy gets used a lot on this sub but I feel the most appropriate comparison is that you want to feel like you’re in a true partnership, one like that of a ship captain and their first mate. You both have equally important roles, but life goes a lot smoother when you can put your trust and final decision making, particularly with life’s most important things, in one person’s hands with the other trusting an…
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/22 11:24 PM
7

Totally agreed! Most if not all of the SAHW I know have some sort of graduate degree or went to a prestigious school and met their husbands in similar fields. The people who you’d think would be very blue pilled living very red pill lives.
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/22 06:37 PM
2

We’re in similar situations I feel like I’ve written a distilled version of this post in several comments myself! My husband never would have married me had I not had a degree from a good school, not for income earning reasons but intellectual compatibility and for raising children (maternal IQ is the highest indicator of a child’s IQ above all else). Love this post and so glad we have something for people who are new to this forum to reference. I feel like I see so many young women come here an…
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/22 06:30 PM
8

Have you talked to your fiancé about specifically what you guys want your life to look like? Do you want a traditional relationship where he leads the day to day or the long term stuff? Do you want to stay at home and let him be the bread winner? Do you want kids, and if so, how do you want to raise them? I wouldn’t say I was in the exact same situation but my husband and I have evolved our relationship more and more over the years where he leads and I follow. Back when I was still working, I fo…
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/22 05:04 PM
21

I don’t think you’re in the right sub. Also high school is far too young for that. You’ll both be fine.
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/22 04:49 PM
32

It’s hard to give advice here without the context of what your issues are. I will say that spending a lot of mental energy on having an exit plan will all but ensure that you mentally check out of the relationship. I’m not saying don’t have a back up where you know who you can turn to if it doesn’t work out, but planning out the next 6 months as if you’ll break up is not healthy. If you want this relationship to be fixed, it’s certainly possible. Again I have no context as to what your issues ar…
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/22 01:25 PM
6

Yeah, it’s odd because I feel like this used to not be as much of a dating advice sub as it seems to be as of late?
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/22 08:02 PM
15

Yup! It’s baffling to me the number of women who are not in LTR telling these women to dump the guy without any ounce of self reflection. Even today there was a woman who was looking for advice because her bf didn’t help plan a vacation and the top comment on there is ‘well it sounds like he doesn’t care about you’ over something so benign. There’s SO many comments that get super upvoted like that. I thought we were here because we DONT assume the worst in men like modern feminist spaces usually…
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/22 05:35 PM
6

My husband is perfect to me. I didn’t always feel that way but before we got married I learned to not only take him as he is, but focus on all the ways he was showing me care and focus on honoring that rather than focusing on all the ways I’d prefer him to! That would be my advice to you as well.
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/22 03:53 PM
54

Thank you for this! I thought I was the only one who noticed a more recent barrage of ‘dump him girl!’ comments recently in addition to ‘don’t rely on no man, even your husband’. I feel like there’s a weird new trend of supposed girl boss types who are looking to marry a man who provides for them but they want to maintain their modern feminist ways and not provide anything in return who seem to be finding their way here for advice and getting offended at responses that are anything other than ‘d…
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/22 03:50 PM
11

My bf now husband and I had a similar issue. We talked about it in therapy and he got better at planning over the years. He went from me planning everything to surprising me with a trip this past February for Valentine’s Day, we had been together for 5 years and this was the first he had ever done anything like that! I’m still mostly the planner in our relationship but we’ve come to an understanding that I like to plan trips and dates because I have specific tastes and he likes to go with the fl…
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/22 03:40 PM
6

Agreed with everything you said! The only reason it’s 90 and not 100 percent is accounting for gay men 😅
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/22 07:49 PM
1

Just want to throw in here for a different perspective, men don’t necessarily respect their wives for earning money. If he’s paying all the bills anyway I don’t see how having pocket change will really earn any respect from a man just like he wouldn’t respect a woman for out earning him. Men respect women for the value they bring in their lives and earning a little cash for your own spending doesn’t really do that. Being at home to raise his children, take care of his meals, clothing, keeping th…
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/22 04:36 PM
1

You’re way too young to be this cyclical, and way too old to be this naive. Having one bad experience with a man isn’t indicative of all men. At your age I’d hope you’d know that. Not all men are any type of way and it seems you have your own sexual hang ups to work through. Sex can be about experience kinks and working through satisfying your own horniness. It can also be passionate and loving. The later will never happen without a deep emotional connection, and when you’re already in a committ…
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/22 04:24 PM
3

Sleep is such an important one! Having a great sleep routine including going to bed at a certain time range, finding out how much sleep you need to best function, having a routine that gets you ready for bed, knowing your triggers for not falling asleep, etc are all habits I think tie into femininity and maturity in ways that are way undervalued. If you always feel tired, it will effect your mood and in turn effect your relationship as a result. If you find yourself very snippy when you under sl…
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/22 01:10 AM
3

Are you currently married? It sounds like your concern is mainly around being burned if something were to go wrong. Marriage is there best protection for that, better yet a marriage with a prenup that explicitly defines support for you in the case of a divorce. I see a fair number of women on here who are SAH girlfriends, and it’s something I would never recommend doing outside of marriage. That said I feel you. I was rapidly moving up in my career and finding myself less and less fulfilled rath…
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/22 02:44 PM
2

I’m married to a man who is catholic, practicing and not just culturally/in name (for what it’s worth this is an important distinction, he’s not a Christmas catholic or even a ‘just on Sunday we go to mass’ catholic. He prays the rosary every day, doesn’t eat meat on fridays, etc). I grew up in an eastern religion but don’t really practice any religion as I haven’t felt the strong tie to faith as he has. For this reason, we practice his traditions and our son will be raised catholic. I’ll be bri…
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/22 02:13 PM
7

I’m a newly minted SAHM, I went from SAHW that had all the time in the world to cook for 3-4 hours a day, clean, and still nap and do what I wanted. Now with a newborn I can barely cook more than pasta or clean more than once a week 😅 being a mother keeps you WAY busy. Even once kiddos are in school it’s a long time until they’re in school full time, even then if you have multiple kids there’s so much more laundry, food prep, organizing kids activities, cleaning, etc to do! When it was just my h…
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/22 04:58 PM
5

I was with you till the second half of this comment. I agree on setting boundaries and an ultimatum if needed but why do we always jump to worst case scenario in these relationship advice posts? Some people genuinely don’t have bad intentions, and it’s putting the cart before the horse to treat any poor decision by a man as The Worst Thing Ever. It’s frankly immature to be so vindictive as you’re suggesting. OP should certainly talk to her bf and get to the bottom of WHY he felt like this is ok.…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/22 02:14 PM
8

Agreed, passive aggression and vindictiveness is never good advice. It never makes you genuinely feel better and it’s bad for your soul and femininity.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/22 02:06 PM
2

Was looking for this response. I don’t work (and I mean this in ANY capacity, I don’t have a side hustle, frankly, you’re not fully SAHW in my opinion if you’re working in any capacity) and stay at home since my husband and I got married because I got pregnant right away. I had a career for years but quit in order to focus on being relaxed and healthy during my pregnancy. We have a beautiful boy (almost one month old on monday!) but if I wasn’t bearing and raising our children, there really woul…
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/22 10:42 PM
3

It’s so different for everyone but I think it depends a lot on age as well. Someone dating in their late teens or early 20s I’d advise waiting longer than if you started dating in your mid to late 20s. Met my husband when I was 24 and he was 27 and it took us 5 years to get engaged and marry after living together for 4 years. In retrospect we always think we should’ve gotten married closer to 3 years together, 2 years living together because there was no reason not to and we could’ve started our…
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/22 09:01 PM
3

Seconding this. We just had our first 3 weeks ago and it is SO HARD. I used to judge just a little bit and now I 1000 percent understand and support anyone who chooses not to have kids. It’s only doable if you want it 100 percent. If you’re not 100 percent then DO NOT do it. I’m a SAHM and my husband is on leave, we have family help, and I still get so nervous thinking about having another one or two more even though we’ve insisted we’d have at least 3.
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/22 03:42 PM
1

I’m not single, I’m married to a wonderful masculine man. I asked this in the RPW forum specifically because I want to know how to balance the dynamic in child rearing between my husband and I in this regard.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/22 05:09 AM
1

For sure, I had friends in that same situation who had the same reaction!
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/22 12:34 AM
6

Confirming here as one of those married RPW. I made it clear with my husband early on in dating without putting a number to it. We talked more about past relationships and what we were both looking for in the future. He’s never cared and would rather not know, which is fine by me. Interestingly I’ve met many men with his attitude who would rather never date a virgin than the other way around but I’m sure that was skewed by regionality since we both met in a northeast metro.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/22 09:08 PM
11

Others have already addressed this but if asked outright you should be honest. Starting a relationship off on a lie is never good. My husband when we first started dating knew I had a past as I knew he had one as well. He has never once asked me for a number and he never cares to know as I feel the same about him. I honestly don’t recall ever dating someone who has explicitly asked me for a number, I know there are men out there for whom it matters and they’ll ask but I’ve found that being discr…
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/22 07:20 PM
5

I had two and passed out at both insertions but the removal was nothing barely felt it!
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/22 07:14 PM
2

I’ve started ‘stretching’ my spring and summer wardrobe into fall and spring just by adding layers. My summer tank dresses tend to be flowy so I layer a thinner turtleneck underneath them when it’s cooler outside or wear a chunky sweater on top and tuck the bottom inside of itself so it’s a little cropped. Add some fleece tights and you’ve got a put together outfit! Best way to save money is make the most of what you already have! I also love shopping on thredUP. I’ve found that many thrift shop…
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/22 07:57 PM
1

Yes, fleece lined tights are a MUST in the fall and winter. No other way around it.
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/22 07:53 PM
2

Fair point!
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/22 12:29 AM
15

You summed it up so well! I watched a number of this YouTubers videos and got very frustrated because she seems to think she has some perfect formula for what men want and seems to only ever bring on certain women to humiliate them or use them as examples of ‘what’s wrong with modern women’ with absolutely no nuance on behalf of how most average men or women behave. She constantly tells her female guests that they’re worthless in the dating pool because they’re not ‘young virgins’ and is a cheat…
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/22 09:49 PM
2

A few other folks have mentioned Expecting Better which I definitely recommend as well. If you’re more of an auditory person I’d recommend the Evidence Based Birth podcast. It’s got a strong reputation for covering the most rigorous and up to date research on pregnancy and birth. It’s very academic though so not sure if that’s a plus or not for you.
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/22 10:07 PM
2

Seconding expecting better!! There’s a lot of guidelines out there that you’re told without any context and this book does a great job of giving that context so you can make informed decisions.
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/22 05:38 PM
10

My husband works full time remote so when he’s on meetings I can usually hear them from the kitchen. I don’t listen in but if I can tell it was a particularly tense one I wait till I hear he’s off the call and come in and give him a big hug without saying anything. He always melts when I do this and I can tell it helps a lot with his stress every now and then. If he’s had a couple of stressful calls and seems very wired I’ll make sure to tell him to sit back after he is done and bring him a beer…
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/22 02:39 PM
3

To be fair, I live in the US and it’s looked down upon here in most major metros lol feminists always talk about ‘choice’ in theory but the second they’re confronted with a friend in their circle who opts out of a career and chooses to stay at home their true feelings come out and they think you’re stupid, a pushover, or generally making a bad decision to be ‘totally dependent on a man’
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/22 05:38 PM
5

I’m south Asian married to a white catholic. I’m a vegetarian and he’s not. We’re very happy because being religious is far more important to him than me so I let him lead in that department and once our kids are born I’m happy to bring them to church and have him raise them in his religion. As far as dietary preferences, I cook and he is happy to eat what I make because I make chef quality meals. He usually has meat at lunch or when we’re grilling or doing a roast dinner. I don’t see it as givi…
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/22 12:43 AM
10

This is a great point! Thankfully my husband was all about starting a family right away but he has many friends who were in a similar boat to OPs husband. They keep pushing off actually following through because they’re worried about disrupting their lifestyle despite knowing they want kids eventually. A few of his friends actually said that he was the one who helped them pull the trigger on marriage or kids. I know one of his best friends was exactly in this situation and now I’m pregnant, his …
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/22 09:10 PM
1

Definitely consider a deep clean service! Mine lets you make notes of what you’d prefer them to focus on. For example I have a sticky mess in the oven that I can’t get out and I can’t seem to organize our guest room and the cleaner got matched with is good with both!
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/22 05:23 PM
8

You and I are the opposite, I hate doing laundry but I love cooking haha I do think of cooking as almost a creative outlet that some people just won’t be interested in like how some folks love to paint or draw and others can’t be bothered because it doesn’t inspire them
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/22 01:47 AM
33

I hit this wall a few months ago. I talked it over with my husband because I was so unproductive with cleaning since my pregnancy bump has gotten so big so we decided to hire a cleaner to do a 4 hour deep clean of the house. I find that I’m way more motivated to maintain the cleanliness after the hard work of deep cleaning is done. We signed up for a task rabbit like service so we got a big discount on the cleaning and it’s only about 120 bucks. With meal inspo I started keeping a list in my pho…
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/22 01:10 AM
7

I’ve been seeing posts like this in this sub more and more, I’m not sure if it’s the backwards tiktok version of ‘trad wife’ that’s been popularized, but I keep seeing women claim to be feminine who truly don’t seem to want to be truly feminine in their actions and attitude. Being red pilled as a woman or trad is way more than surface level femininity in which you act cute and wear dresses and makeup in order to attract a guy that’ll fall to your whims and provide for you while you stay at home …
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/22 12:54 AM
7

Ahh thanks both, I appreciate it! 😊
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/22 11:26 PM
14

I agree with the other commenter here in that it is risky to go into a relationship believing you can change the other person, but for me personally I’d say you are spot on. When my husband and I met, I had no intention of a serious relationship leading to marriage and was fairly young (freshly 23 when we met) and focused on my career. I was very much into the girl boss mentality I saw all around me in college and had lots of lofty dreams for my career. I think I even told my now husband on our …
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/22 10:11 PM
3

If most American women are overweight in their 20s, an even higher portion are overweight in their 30s. Something you fail to realize is that it doesn’t mean ALL. These men aren’t picking between a thin attractive woman in her 30s and an overweight one in her 20s, he’s only going after thin attractive ones, and if he’s picking between one in her 20s and 30s he’ll go for the younger one. You do not have more to offer him than an attractive and thin 20 something year old. You may think you can off…
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/22 04:22 PM
6

So who exactly are you going for then? If you want a man in his 30s or 40s but hasn’t been married before and has no kids, but you also don’t want a man who hasn’t been married because there’s ‘something wrong with him’ then you’re left with no men. Either start dating women or adjust your standards. You’re not ever going to get this perfect man you’re dreaming of because who’s to say he isn’t thinking the same about you? If you’re as attractive and thin as you claim to be why are you still sing…
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/22 04:13 PM
8

Of course they are, so is age.
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/22 03:11 PM
8

Those women don’t magically get thin in their 30s and you seem to be awfully hung up on weight and looks. Youth isn’t just about that as I mentioned to you in another comment. But also to be frank there is a much higher likelihood of a woman being thin and attractive in her 20s than her 30s. If a man can pick a thin attractive woman in her 20s vs the same who is in her 30s he will always pick the one in her 20s.
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/22 03:10 PM
10

That’s a straw man argument because most men aren’t picking between the two. Youth comes with fertility which is important to many men in their 30s as a fair number of them will want children. Youth also comes with a lower count of sexual partners and past relationships that you bring baggage with into a relationship. It also brings with it a fresher attitude on life and generally less entitlement. It’s not all about looks.
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/22 03:06 PM
11

You do realize what sub you’re in right? No one should be bashing anyone but it’s a reality no matter how harsh that you’re going to be less attractive to men if you have kids or are older. The delivery of this message may be harsh but it doesn’t change the reality of it. You do need to adjust your standards, and realize you can’t have them be the same or higher than they were in your 20s, it’s just the unfortunate reality.
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/22 02:56 PM
12

Having the attitude that you’re an 8/10 in the dating pool while also being in your 30s doesn’t compute. As unfair as it is, an 8/10 is literally a young supermodel, and having an attitude that you are an 8/10 could be off putting. Most men go for younger women, so by your 30s, many men are either already married or looking for women who are in their 20s. You say you don’t want to go for men who are in their 40s because they’re divorced with kids, but that’s the reality of dating at your age. To…
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/22 02:53 PM
15

If you’re thinking of something as simple as someone asking you to go on a walk as ‘triggering’ you might need more time to recover from your last relationship than you think. You don’t want to bring the baggage from your previous relationship into a new one, it’s not fair to who ever you’re dating as it’s your issue not theirs to deal with. Also it doesn’t sound like you’re attracted to the guy so why bother continuing? Editing here to add, can we collectively stop using phrases like toxic, tra…
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/22 05:49 PM
3

I think you’re lacking some reading comprehension skills if that’s what you took away. I literally just said my husband doesn’t need to be told how to do things, he’s making 6 figures and went to two Ivy League schools so he clearly knows how to get things done in life. What he doesn’t need is for me to tell him that the forks go on the other side when he sets a table. He gets important shit done, he runs all of the finances for our house and pays all of the bills so we’re comfortable. So yeah i…
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/22 10:37 AM
5

Because men like all people are human beings. Just because you’re capable doesn’t mean you’re on top of things all the time, no one is, not even women. The difference is we tend to notice more when something needs to get done and we turn into nags when things are done on our schedule or exactly to our liking. That doesn’t mean men aren’t capable, it just means they have different strengths than we do. You don’t HAVE to become a nag, you choose to. Theres a difference between nagging your husband…
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/22 07:35 PM
7

I don’t think you’re getting the point of the post. Women and especially modern women have a tendency to insert themselves into every decision because we tend to be neurotic and think we need to maintain control at all times because if we don’t what if something goes wrong?? I say this from experience because I myself have a tendency to try and tell my husband how to do something or insist on things being done my way because I’m worried something will happen. What I’ve found is that it makes me …
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/22 05:58 PM
11

This is going to sound very basic, but compliment him a lot in day to day things, and thank him often! Men don’t receive compliments as much as women do by a long shot and it’s very important to verbalize to him things that you notice. It’s easy enough for us to look at him and blush when he looks a certain way or wears a certain shirt, but say it out loud! Even now with my husband I make sure to let him know how much I appreciate him by saying things like ‘thanks for taking care of the lawn mow…
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/22 08:40 PM
11

First of all, congrats!! I am within weeks of my due date with my first and had this same struggle at the start. My husband and I were only married for 2 months before I got pregnant so I felt like my ideal housewife routine went out the window once the first trimester hit me hard. Give yourself grace and really only focus on each day at a time. My first trimester for about 6 weeks I was totally useless. I didn’t cook because the smell made me so unbelievably sick (I cook ALL the meals normally)…
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/22 04:57 PM
1

I love to do midi dresses with a sweater tucked under itself on top to create some shape. When it’s really cold I add fleece tights and knee length boots that fit snug around my calves. This is a great way to wear those bulky sweaters you always see in those shops without looking frumpy!
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/22 12:53 AM
2

Thanks for your comment! It does sound like you’re in a similar boat. I have several friends in your predicament, married with a great career, but unlike you they haven’t made any firm decisions around kids so kudos to you for knowing what you want! I worry for them because they seem to think they have all the time in the world when they don’t, and they and their husbands are seeing their lifestyle inflation go up exponentially year after year. It makes it so much harder to finally decide you wa…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/22 10:22 PM
32

That’s just patently untrue. I’m married to a HVM (6 figure income, has a PhD, very attractive and never had trouble dating) who very much believes in monogamy and has a traditional view on marriage. A HVM who wants a wife and kids will likely be monogamous, and if he’s telling you he wants to be able to cheat (only one way let’s not forget) he doesn’t want that from YOU, you’re just a plate he’s spinning till he finds an actual wife. If you want to be wife material you don’t put up with being u…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/22 05:03 PM
29

You don’t turn a blind eye. If it’s not something you’re comfortable with now, it’s not something you’ll ever be comfortable with. We’re not talking about getting used to a man who decides to take up fishing with his buddies every weekend, monogamy vs non monogamy is the very foundation of a long term committed relationship. If you can’t see eye to eye on it, it’s not something you can ever compromise on, very much like deciding to have kids or get married.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/22 03:04 PM
6

The only crap I’ve ever gotten about being SAHW has been from professional working women. I used to have a high power career and they think it’s ‘disappointing’ that I ‘threw away my potential to sit at home and pop out kids’. While they’re still working 50 to 60 hours a week and not fulfilled and also still miserable. But at least they have designer shoes and girls trips? Idk that being miserable 60 hours a week and stressed the other 60 was a good trade off for a Chanel bag for me. I’m much ha…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/22 03:00 PM
15

I used to work with a lot of these types before becoming married and becoming a literal barefoot and pregnant housewife. I worked in a career where I was even headed down this route. I saw so many women focus on ‘getting the bag’ (literally, being able to buy multiple designer bags and other material things). Drinks after work were just a reason for everyone to bitch CONSTANTLY about how completely miserable they were working 60+ hour weeks in order to afford their once a year girls trip to Ibiz…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/22 02:51 PM
2

Me either! It must be regional because now that I think about it all the couples that led the courses were from this area of the state.
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/22 11:01 PM
2

Not sure when or where you took it but for my husband and I last year it was about a 40 hour prep and the vast majority of the time was spent on communication skills, ensuring we had the same goals for our family (financial, kids, etc). Making sure we knew our love languages and styles of conflict resolution etc it might just vary from place to place but we found it to be essentially like what we went over in therapy! I wouldn’t say it’s a replacement for therapy at all, but my point was that th…
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/22 10:45 PM
1

I get there’s stigma but honestly every couple should try counseling prior to marriage in my opinion. There’s a reason Catholics have pre canna! It’s basically pre marital therapy to make sure you can communicate well and understand each other’s needs so you have a successful partnership!
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/22 10:10 PM
1

I think therapy is definitely helpful, often we can try to voice our needs to our partners but find it difficult to detach our emotions from that communication. Having a neutral third party help you both communicate more effectively and understand each other’s perspectives is what therapy is all about. My husband and I did couples therapy for nearly 6 months a few years before getting married and it made us closer than ever. We felt we truly understood each other’s needs and ways of communicatin…
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/22 07:34 PM
3

His intelligence, he’s not only academically intelligent (this man literally got a perfect score on the SATs, went to an Ivy under grad, and another ivy for his PhD), but he loves to read, his favorite way to spend his free time is reading dense books about some obscure parts of history for fun! He loves learning about new subjects, he’s a math genius, studied economics. I love that I can always learn some thing new from him. My favorite times are long car rides where I ask him to tell me about …
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/22 10:00 PM
1

We met on tinder! We were both kind of just dating around casually and after our second date we realized we had found something more meaningful and immediately went exclusive. We both met in a city we were living in for work and found out our parents live actually 10 mins from each other in a different state! We eventually moved back to the area, got married, and are about to have our first baby in October!
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/22 11:28 PM
1

So cringe!! Idk if you saw the first season but she mentioned having spent time in Dubai and her date mentioning that he’d like to visit it sometime and she said ‘that’s kind of odd, like why there?’ ???
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/22 11:32 PM
2

To be fair though I think even the last guy we see Aparna with quickly fizzled out once he realized how off putting her view on relationships was, the fact that she came to his home city and didn’t even text him while expecting him to always fly to meet her definitely rubbed him the wrong way. As did the comments about always being so busy and finding it weird that her sister always wanted to spend time with her husband? I feel like she tries to put off this distant and aloof energy thinking it’…
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/22 12:49 PM
4

You’re right! I was looping those in with ‘career’. It all depends on what your husband does. Mine has a PhD and works in tech, he definitely wouldn’t have dated me if I didn’t have a professional career or wasn’t in a graduate program. Most of his friends and peers also have spouses with phds or careers prior to becoming housewives so I would’ve stuck out like a sore thumb in his social circle if I hadn’t had one of those.
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/22 12:22 AM
4

Exceptions to the rule doesn’t mean the rule exists. If anything it’s noticeable because they ARE exceptions. Also keep track years from now to see how their relationships develop over time. There’s also plenty of other traits missing from your description, looks? Demeanor? Who makes the final decisions in their household?
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/22 11:51 PM
9

Seconding this, most HVM these days will want to see that you had some semblance of a career before making you a SAHM. It weeds out a lot of women who would otherwise be straight up gold diggers, and also gives them an idea of how well you’d fit into their social group.
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/22 08:34 PM
5

Love this and totally agree! I think what most of the older couples they featured in the intro said the same, that love grows over time, as does attraction.
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/22 07:58 PM
36

I obviously don’t have all the context but it made me think of the stat that 20 percent of men who’s wives get cancer wind up divorcing them once they get the diagnosis. It’s better he showed you his true colors now than when you were married. I hope all goes well with your recovery.
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/22 01:19 AM
3

I might just be nosy but is there any reason to not bring it up before baby is here? Especially if you plan on going to city hall anyway? Just throwing it out there because if you’re married, your spouse would by default be your medical proxy if needed while you’re delivering. You don’t get to do that with someone who’s an unmarried partner unless you’re willing to draft up legal documents well in advance. While I’m hoping for a smooth and easy delivery for you, things can come up where you migh…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/22 03:32 PM
3

I personally do think marriage is the best way to secure yourself and your child for the future, but I also believe marriage has a very strong spiritual component to it for it to truly work in the long run. If it doesn’t have this deep connection for you then don’t force it. I think too many marriages don’t work out because many people just see them as a piece of paper tethering them to their partners instead of something deeper. That said, practically you can do a lot of other things, definitel…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/22 11:11 AM
2

It depends on the season! Honestly I switch it up so that in spring I do mushroom or peas, summer, a roasted tomato with a little pesto, and butternut squash with sage in fall. You can use any basic risotto recipe online but I’d just swap in the veggie of choice towards the end of cooking (I’d roast the veggies separately and then mix in during the cooking process). The only other trick I have is use dry vermouth instead of white wine, and make sure the recipe you use calls for a white wine othe…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/22 10:59 AM
14

When I’m trying to impress I always make ratatouille and risotto! The ratatouille is a lot of chopping and arranging in a dish you can do in advance and then just stick in the oven very hands off. The risotto is way more hands on but if you do the chopping and ingredient prep ahead of time you can make it fairly quickly while the ratatouille bakes. Also a freshly baked dessert or rolls on the side to a long way! People are always impressed with my home made dinner rolls even though they’re not m…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/22 11:56 PM
5

With actual friends I would hope this is something that doesn’t come up with a lot of them? Why would you want to be friends with someone who you thought of as a potential romantic or sexual partner rather than a friend?
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/22 07:31 PM
3

But it sounds like he already told you with words that he doesn’t want another kid? You’re placing a lot of weight on him pulling out because he’s already made clear with his words to you that he doesn’t want any more children. It’s not the action, but what can you expect when he’s stated clearly he doesn’t want any more kids? It seems like you’re not willing to compromise at all on this issue and for that reason it’s not surprising that your husband is avoidant of talking any more about it if t…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/22 07:22 PM
1

Political science! Met a lot of men who were law school bound or headed to lobbying firms, PhD programs, economists, etc my husband is an economist for what it’s worth! It gave us a lot in common to talk about
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/22 03:11 PM
2

I think this commenters point was to have OP literally lie to her husband to trick him into getting her pregnant not to be truthful about how fertility works 😣
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/22 03:07 PM
5

Came looking for this response, I’m glad I found it. This here, there is a deep maternal instinct for women to want to have children but it’s kind of selfish to disregard all of your partners hesitations and deem that desire above your partners wishes. Please seek counseling OP because you seem to only have responded on here to one person who is literally advocating for you to manipulate your husband into a child he doesn’t want, if you’re even entertaining that idea you need to seek marital hel…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/22 03:05 PM
4

Just read this comment after my previous, you ARE advocating for something illegal here. Even aside from that, it’s morally wrong, you do realize this? If a man did this to his wife people would be OUTRAGED, and you’re advocating severing a deep trust in a marriage through manipulation. I GET the deep biological desire for kids, but to go so far as doing this to your spouse? That’s the kind of trust breaking that leads to divorce and men not trusting women anymore. You do realize this don’t you?…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/22 03:02 PM
4

Just so we’re being clear…are you advocating for her to essentially stealth her husband into unwittingly getting her pregnant in the heat of the moment when he doesn’t want another child? How is this any different from a man poking holes in condoms to get his wife pregnant without her consent? What you’re advocating for is literally illegal in most states.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/22 02:59 PM
2

She said in her post explicitly that she doesn’t want kids, in her comments she says she HOPES she wants kids at some point in the future not that she ‘definitely does’. People generally know how they’re leaning towards kids in the future at 21, which is why it’s important to talk about this stuff prior to getting married. No one is saying she has to be ready for kids NOW, she literally is saying herself she doesn’t know if she’s ever going to be ready for kids, she makes her hesitation quite cl…
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/22 11:12 AM
3

I’m sorry you’re in that predicament! I think OP is slightly diff since it’s a matter of having kids at all vs the number of kids, which is something you can compromise on. Are you saying husband did agree to 3 at first and now doesn’t want 3?
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/22 09:47 PM
6

I’m not one to ever give that advice. And I don’t think I even said that in my comment? I said they need to make sure they’re on the same page about kids, if they’re not, no absolutely not. There is no ‘compromise’ on whether or not to have kids, you either have them or you don’t, so yeah if you’re not aligned why waste each other’s time? It’s actually one of the only things I’d argue you should break up over. Even the most up voted comment on here says the same. Why would you want to be with so…
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/22 09:41 PM
6

I see where you’re coming from but also OP said she doesn’t want kids. If her partner does she should absolutely NOT marry him. Before even entertaining this idea they should be on the same page about children.
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/22 08:39 PM
6

Love this comment, you articulated perfectly what I was trying to say about the joking around. I don’t think it’s a cute dynamic either way and at some point one needs to grow out of it. It seems innocent in your early 20s but leads to deep and bitter resentment for exactly the reasons you describe.
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/22 12:33 AM
13

Fellow preggo here, I did start getting irritated every now and then with my husband despite him doing nothing wrong, it’s totally normal and definitely your hormones. While it’s not ok for him to joke about infidelity, it sounds like you’re making comments (even if it’s not intentioned this way and just banter) that might be rubbing him the wrong way, particularly in attacking his masculinity (no guy wants to hear his genitals referred to as ‘cute’ it’s kind of degrading even as a joke). The th…
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 10:08 PM
1

I think a lot of people have given you a lot of great advice. It just comes down to are you willing to give up your dream of a happy marriage and children just for the slight possibility that if you don’t dump him you may not find it? Or would you rather risk never having those things at all and staying with him and potentially breaking up later more bitter and older? I’m about your age, 29 going on 30. I have been with my husband who’s about 4 years older since 2016. He told me he wanted 4 kids…
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/22 02:45 PM
7

You do know from working in the field that children eventually grow up and have to function in society as anyone else? And that includes being in public places with other people. Children will never learn how to act in these public environments unless they’re actively taken to these environments and taught. I swear the US is the only place I see people ranting about a child DARING to be in their presence in public. Literally every other country in the world acknowledges that children need to and…
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/22 11:31 AM
8

My kiddo isn’t due to be here until a few months so maybe I’m being naive but I agree with you here. I’m reading a French parenting book and it talks about how children sit through restaurant dinners with no distractions because they’re taught to properly at a young age, so that they can learn what is and isn’t acceptable at certain times and places. Dining out in France you never saw crayons and toys at a table with toddlers or young children, let alone EVER a kids menu. Again not to sound judg…
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/22 11:26 AM
8

When I was in my first trimester I was so out of it I couldn’t do anything at all, I don’t think I even cooked or cleaned for like 8 weeks. It was hard getting back into a routine, I couldn’t even remember what dishes I used to cook or how to tackle cleaning. I got back on track by using a planner. Plan out all of your meals in a week, and then plan out all of the cleaning and chores that need to get done regularly. I would try at first to only stick to maybe 2 or 3 a day since everything was ta…
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/22 11:17 AM
6

If he’s anything like my husband he’ll probably realize that it’s a combination of worried about losing his hobbies and being caught up entirely in something else, and also that commitment is a big thing at this age. But marriage doesn’t mean you can’t do all the things you wanted to! He just has to come to that conclusion on his own, and maybe he’ll even figure out a timeline that will make him more comfortable with the idea. For what it’s worth my husband has a strict schedule with himself now…
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/22 10:58 PM
3

This is spot on. It described my husband in this situation to a T. He also was in academia just finished his PhD earlier this year and this was pretty much the crux of why we split. We did get back together and married. Being apart might just be what OP and her bf may need for him to realize that not everything has to be exactly perfect and that as he gets older family is what’s important. You can’t come home to a career, a career doesn’t bear and raise your children, or build a home for you. My…
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/22 08:04 PM
9

I agree with this completely. A break is not a break up if it’s got a time limit. Men definitely need space to decide for themselves to decide to move towards commitment. OPs situation was very similar to my own years ago. My then bf, now husband, and I fell in love very quickly and deeply. Moved in together and moved cities after a little less than a year. We got pets together, moved quickly towards what seemed like marriage being the next step, and something we both wanted. But he also freaked…
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/22 06:01 PM
1

Thank you, I appreciate it! It’s hard to tell when you’re crossing the line from giving hard advice to actually offending someone.
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/22 06:32 PM
7

This person isn’t even worth engaging with. Idk what they’re even doing on this sub when they’re clearly unhinged and not even looking for advice only validation. Apparently even posted your comment in another sub seeking more validation that she’s being ‘made fun of and judged’.
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/22 05:20 PM
6

You’re clearly not in a stable enough mind set to be seeking advice on the internet. I will go and enjoy my marriage, baby, and peaceful stable life, thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/22 05:10 PM
5

Hi there! It’s me that you’re talking about. I’m sorry you felt judged by my comment. I was simply asking questions about the nature of what happened for context as to why you were keen on swearing off men. You’ve conveniently chosen to only focus on the fact that I asked these questions and ignored the paragraphs of other advice I gave you. Considering you’ve posted literally the same questions about your divorce and how to move on several times in this sub and subsequently deleted those posts …
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/22 05:06 PM
5

Giving this advice as a fellow Indian woman in case it’s helpful. My mother was divorced in India in the early 90s, she had 2 children, and managed to remarry to my father after about a year or two and have me, so I wouldn’t say all hope is lost, if my mother could do it in a village in gujrat back in the 90s, you certainly can too. Based on your post there’s a number of issues. One it does sound like you should take a break from dating to focus on immediate priorities of getting yourself back o…
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/22 12:59 PM
7

I think this is generally good advice but she did state that she wants to have kids sooner rather than later and there is a ticking clock on that. I had been with my husband for 5 years before we got married but that’s because we started dating when I was in my early mid 20s. We both agreed we wanted 3 to 4 children before I turned 35, so I don’t think it’s crazy for OP to hope for a proposal in less than that 3-5 year range. Slowing down is all fine and dandy when you’re in your early 20s but a…
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/22 12:34 PM
5

Love this! I actually have a singer I bought a few years ago that currently lives with my parents since my step mother is way better with it than I am that I used a few times to make scrunchies or very quickly to hem a straight skirt. I was thinking of maybe starting with cushion covers? I have a bit of fabric that’s been sitting around forever.
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/22 03:18 PM
3

This is such a great idea! Do you draw a pattern on first or just free hand it?
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/22 03:16 PM
2

Ooo this sounds wonderful! Do you have any pics?
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/22 03:15 PM
3

Gardening is definitely on my list one of the few crafty things I’m good at haha I can’t garden right now while pregnant and baby is due once planting season is going to be over but I’m definitely thinking I should plan out a planting cycle for early next year while I’m cooped up inside! Hoping to plant a couple fruit trees too so the kids can pick them once they start to bear fruit in a few years.
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/22 12:50 PM
7

Yes!! Married here as well and so much this. I didn’t play games, I didn’t act aloof. I gave him his space when we were apart so he could make the first moves, but together I didn’t hold back from telling him how I felt and what I wanted out of our relationship. He was so grateful because it allowed him to be open and clearly state that he wanted the same things. It allowed us to fall very quickly and deeply in love knowing we weren’t holding anything back from each other just for the sake of it…
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/22 03:05 PM
2

Totally seconding this advice. It’s not red pill at all, it sounds more like a fiancé just wanting to have the benefits of commitment while not giving up any of the benefits of bachelorhood. The only way to work through it is to be honest and up front about your boundaries.
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/22 03:01 PM
1

Also vegetarian here but my husband is very happy to eat more veggies and legumes in his diet, he brags to everyone that he doesn’t even miss meat because I’m such a great chef (don’t get me wrong he still eats it everyday just for only lunch instead of lunch and dinner!) I always keep my pantry and fridge stocked with items you can use in multiple meals in a week. Pantry staples - dried beans of all kinds (white, red, black, and chickpeas), lentils (red, green black), grains (rice, couscous, ba…
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/22 01:01 PM
8

I’m not sure how popular this take is on here but I’m with you on if both spouses are working, you should absolutely NOT be doing all of the housework. Throw kids in there and it’s game over. I don’t care how much you try and read books about surrendering and changing your mindset, it’s absolutely not fair and will always leave you resenting your spouse. I see so many women and men saying ‘oh well his job is harder he makes more money’ unless he’s working 80-100 hours a week and you’re only work…
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/22 11:49 PM
1

To be fair, many people who attend prestigious schools don’t feel the need to brag about it so it’s entirely possible their parents did. Idk that homeschooling is on a higher level of getting kids admitted to ivies than being legacy. Having attended yourself puts your kids at the biggest advantage far above anything else. You can definitely homeschool without having gone to a fancy school or attend college at all, but I rarely if ever have heard of a kid who wound up at a prestigious school with…
/r/RedPillWomen19/07/22 06:45 PM
1

Not trying to speak for this commenter but what I’m assuming they’re referring to is more akin to the fact that a child’s parents education is very much correlated to their child’s. Of course this isn’t exact, but parents who went to top tier colleges tend to have kids that go to top tier colleges more so than parents who didn’t. My husbands mother went to a 2 year college (which there’s nothing wrong with that at all, just using as an example) but both of her sons now have phds. With one having…
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/22 12:17 AM
8

Can confirm this, met my husband in Boston. He’s a double ivy degree holder with a PhD. He never would’ve thought to date me if I didn’t have a degree from a good university. He explicitly even told me within the first few weeks of dating that he had tried to date girls who weren’t as educated as I was and couldn’t do it anymore because he didn’t find them intellectually compatible. We’re now married and I’m a housewife after I worked a few years in advertising as we dated.
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/22 12:05 AM
8

So he expects you then to work, and cook and clean AND raise kids then. While he doesn’t do any of those things and just works? It seems like he doesn’t cook or clean at his own home now, so of course it’s easy for him to say that these things don’t take much time or effort. If he can’t even seemingly make dinner for himself when his mother works nights that’s kind of a red flag that he has no idea what he’s talking about. I can understand if he has one bad view of someone who doesn’t do anythin…
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/22 10:52 AM
8

Is his mother a housewife? If he thinks managing a household is easy, how about raising children? Unless he plans to hire a cleaner and a nanny, someone’s got to do those jobs and they’re not easy. Have you talked to him realistically about how he views running a house or raising kids? If he lives at home his mother is likely doing all of these things that he either ignores or doesn’t notice and therefore must think the dishes and laundry get done by magically house elves. Has he ever lived on h…
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/22 03:49 AM
1

My husbands job is fully remote, he was hired by a company on the west coast and we live in a lower cost of living state on the east coast so we’ve been very happy with the arrangement. I’m about to become a SAHM, currently a housewife due in October. It’s been really great for both of us, because he works west coast hours, and he is an early riser, we get tons of time in the morning together to chat, run errands, or just spend quality time together. In between meetings and projects, he’ll pop i…
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 09:00 PM
1

Do you know how many children you want ideally? If you do, I highly recommend you sit your husband down and put together an excel sheet. Put in all of your current expenses, savings, and then projected expenses with kids. My husband is an economist so the first thing he did when we got engaged and he started applying for his post PhD jobs was create a formulaic spreadsheet that has every single thing we need, currently spend and save, and are hoping to save for for our kids and lifestyle. He pro…
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 08:54 PM
2

This commenter makes some great points that I would like to second. I also want to add in some thoughts here as someone from the same country and religion (I immigrated with my parents to the US when I was 4 for some context). I think you’re getting a very grossly exaggerated view of racism in the west. I’m now happily married to a man who’s white and catholic, which sounds like on paper the total opposite of me. Every Indian or Asian woman of my age that I know who lives here has wound up with …
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 08:23 PM
3

For what it’s worth, I’m Asian here as well and I quit my lucrative career to become a housewife pending SAHM. You’ll always have regrets either way. I see my old colleagues taking advantage of the market right now and getting promotions in less than a year and climbing that career ladder while I’m home making. It does sting a little seeing what I’m missing out on, but honestly I chose this because I know being a SAHM will ultimately be more satisfying to me especially when I look back on my lif…
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/22 12:16 PM
3

This makes me feel so much better. At my practice I see a different dr every time and at my 20 week appointment she told me I should ‘slow down on my weight gain’ even though I was 106 at my first appt, and had gained 20 pounds by 20 weeks. It made me feel really shitty like I already eat far less than the average person I can’t really be dieting while pregnant so what do you want me to do?? If I kept at a pound per week I’d still be within a healthy weight gain limit? It was so unnecessarily ru…
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/22 12:07 PM
12

While I think this is great in terms of preparing yourself with skills and a routine beforehand, I think it’s being a little naive in terms of thinking how much it actually helps things go ‘easier’. Having to run a household and do EVERYthing for your children is just not sustainable or feasible. A big thing you’re leaving out of what helped our mothers and grandmothers in the past was the fact that they had a TON more support from extended family that usually lived close by or other women in th…
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/22 05:30 PM
9

This is a great comment! I’m currently pregnant in my second trimester and a housewife turning SAHM in October. My husband and I discussed this division of labor as well, he knows while right now I’m able to run the house by myself for the most part, with kids it’s a whole other ball game. Your partner can’t expect you to do essentially 2 full time jobs. Kids are an extraordinary effort that requires two people to take care of them minimum. Unless he’s willing to hire a nanny, he’s not thinking …
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/22 02:00 PM
3

I would! It’s a little early on the ‘when do you plan to propose’ question, but I do think you should for sure ask him when he expects to or wants to be married by.
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/22 07:31 PM
2

My husband who is catholic views marriage similarly, he wants a life long marriage, doesn’t really view divorce as an option except for extreme circumstances of infidelity or the like. We didn’t get engaged until about 5 years into our relationship, we lived together, traveled together, and were intimate. I will say he has become more devout as we got married. Marriage is a sacrament as I’m sure you know, and he takes it very seriously. He began going to mass every week without fail, reads the B…
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/22 07:30 PM
18

Idk if it’s the moving in part that’s the biggest issue, it’s more the ‘being and acting like a wife’ without the title, commitment, or security. In general yes it is harder to not fall into ‘wifely duties’ if you’re living together before marriage. Aside from religious arguments, I think the bigger case is the classic ‘why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free’? I lived with my husband before marriage to be clear, but it took him 5 years to propose and I genuinely feel it wouldn’t have t…
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/22 07:13 PM
4

Are her friends also in relationships? I’ve found that usually it’s far better to get along with your SOs friends in the context of couples all hanging out together. Women are more likely to open up to their friends SO personality wise when it’s in a group context with their bfs or husbands around. Otherwise it can be hard to break into a group of just women, usually if they’re hanging out without men around they want to just hang out with each other.
/r/RedPillWomen20/06/22 02:41 AM
2

I’m curious why this is your take? My husband and I consider our friends all now mutual friends. They were obviously separately our friends before we met, but most of the time we see them together now that we’re married. We all love hanging out with each other and have definitely built a couples friends style bond with them all through the years.
/r/RedPillWomen20/06/22 02:39 AM
6

This is the dumbest take I’ve ever heard. You do know people don’t just leave their kids at home while they work don’t you? They have to have someone else take care of them all day (a JOB people pay money for). So no they are not doing the same amount of childcare as someone who stays at home to take care of their children. People who work often outsource many parts of the running of their household, including childcare, cleaning, and cooking (ordering take out). Someone who’s a stay at home par…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/22 10:59 PM
2

My husband works in tech so he earns a fair amount both in salary and equity. If I worked too we’d probably earn a third more in salary but not enough to significantly change our tax bracket or lifestyle post taxes. I see myself as the person who looks to save money wherever we can. I cook nearly all of our meals from scratch so our food bills are fairly low. I don’t buy new clothes or makeup, I buy second hand whenever possible. We can afford to spend more but have a list of priorities we’d lik…
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/22 08:12 AM
3

They don’t like that the attention is focused more on the baby
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/22 01:11 AM
2

https://polishhousewife.com/pierogi-ruski/ we love this recipe but usually also make some sauerkraut pierogis since they’re my husbands favorite, just mix a cup of sauerkraut with half a cup of sour cream for the filling! Sometimes we add in some diced mushrooms as well, it’s super good! I recommend this whole blog really she’s got some amazing authentic Eastern European recipes that are usually hard to find an English recipe for! Tons of amazing soups as well.
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/22 02:55 PM
2

I love making pierogis with my husband! I cook for him nearly all of the time (I enjoy it) but this is one recipe that means a lot for him to be involved too because it’s from his heritage and we hope to have our kids join in on the fun of making them from scratch one day too! I love traditional recipes that mean a lot to our families and will mean even more turning into traditions and memories for our own little family.
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/22 09:28 PM
19

Don’t ever assume anything will change about someone’s personality before you’re committed to them. Have you voiced your needs in regards to communication before?
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/22 09:24 PM
5

Idk that this is true, this sub is full of a bunch of women in traditional relationships and might be with religious men. My husband used to watch but stopped on his own without my asking before we got married because he ‘didn’t feel it was right anymore’. These men aren’t necessarily outliers. I never had a problem with him watching it but I think it’s nice he decided on his own to stop.
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/22 04:53 PM
6

Those men don’t want actual relationships they want servants who also have sex with them. What they fail to realize is that in history that has absolutely never ever been the basis of normal healthy relationships. They’re more focused on a fantasy that no sane woman is going to want, and then they can keep perpetuating their other rants about how ‘no modern women are worth settling down with’. A real man doesn’t expect the world from his spouse in exchange for nothing or no real commitment in re…
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/22 08:32 PM
6

Yes!! I totally felt the same way until I realized what modern men vs the women in this sub consider redpill are on two different wave lengths. I cringed at red pill until I found this sub.
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/22 08:22 PM
20

I wish I could upvote this a thousand times, everything you described is so spot on. The men who consider themselves alpha and red pilled vs those who actually are is such a stark difference.
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/22 08:21 PM
3

I think it’s on you to learn those skills, I think what boomers were trying to do was have you focus on skills related to a career instead. They’re the divorce generation so they definitely see things from that lens and would rather their daughters have a career than become housewives like their own parents generation, that’s why those skills were so heavily emphasized in the past and not so much by our boomer parents who knew they were raising their kids in a world where hardly anyone can exist…
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/22 02:34 PM
1

I never said being catholic prevents divorce, I said for my husband it’s one of the qualities that informs his values. He’s also actually practicing, barring abuse and severe deception, Catholics who pray the rosary everyday and go to mass and confession multiple times a week aren’t typically the Catholics getting divorced 🤷‍♀️
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/22 08:15 AM
2

She said she wants to have children
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/22 07:58 AM
2

Idk it sounds like to me it doesn’t really matter to her if it is a hobby? If it was a career goal idk that she’d be considering herself a SAHW
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/22 07:57 AM
3

I honestly just use the recurring feature on my reminder app for ongoing household tasks. I also use a shared Google calendar with my husband so we’re both always up to date on plans.
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/22 03:03 AM
3

And I’m sure you will be! As long as you have a plan you’ll be fine. There’s many upsides to bring a SAHM, your family will thank you for it.
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/22 02:45 AM
8

Ignore this person, it’s called ‘concern trolling’ they’re just seemingly looking to pick a fight. Likely a jealous cope. I’m sure you know already the points of concern some people may have and I’m sure you’re smart enough to figure out a plan for your own life without so many opinions. Take it from a fellow housewife! I had a career before I became an about to be SAHM, so just make sure your schooling is in something you can hopefully fall back on if needed. I’d also recommend volunteering whe…
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/22 02:42 AM
5

You’re being insanely harsh here for someone claiming to be looking out for OPs best interests. Life is full of risks, some of us are thankful to have devoted spouses who aren’t the type to cheat or leave and leave us penniless. My own husband has an account for me just in my name so that I never have to feel like I have no money truly of my own. He’s catholic so divorce isn’t ever an option for him, he’s got morals and has not nor would I ever expect him to cheat. Thankfully we dated for long e…
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/22 02:39 AM
1

Unfortunately this sub isn’t for you. It’s for women seeking advice on RP relationships. Hope you find another more suitable sub for advice.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/22 06:58 PM
17

I don’t think your definition actually differs from most womens definitions here. I read from a few posters before as well that a HVM will inherently have some blue pill qualities, being completely RP isn’t going to be conducive to a LTR or marriage considering how many of the men over on that forum feel about marriage. I agree with you on all of the points and definitely agree with you that there seems to be a trend recently of women on here who seem to think a HVM is just a very high earner an…
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/22 10:44 AM
43

Need more context but to be honest mine doesn’t. Porn is one thing but openly lusting after randos and following them on IG or paying for only fans is a little suspicious.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/22 01:01 AM
6

Ive found that making multiple dishes or courses and really going the extra mile with presentation always surprises and delights my husband. Last nights dinner was roasted butter radishes with white beans and some parsley and extra butter on top, fennel al forno with fennel fronds and breadcrumbs on top, and an orzo salad with tomato, cucumber, lemon, basil, and green onions. I’m vegetarian so he eats veggie dinners and I try to cook with a LOT of colors and the colors and variety always impress…
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/22 05:18 PM
16

Seconding this last point! I think people are really unaware of how unattractive it is to constantly be gossiping or saying negative things about other people. It’s not a very feminine trait, and not doing so is definitely noticed by men, they hate cattiness.
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/22 11:21 PM
6

I think you’re being overly critical, I don’t think playing video games or drinking soda mean a man isn’t going to be a HVM. If you don’t mind me asking, how old are you and the men you’re seeing?
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/22 10:14 PM
2

Thank you!! I hope youre able to build the family you want no matter which way you do it 😊
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/22 07:08 PM
17

I went to a prestigious college, and jumped straight into a lucrative career that I was very good at! I was making nearly 6 figures by the time I realized I just hated it and it was ruining my mental health. Once my husband and I got married I quit immediately, I figured we’d start trying for kids right away once we got married so what did it matter if I took off an extra year before becoming a SAHM to be a housewife instead? I’m so glad I did, I absolutely love cooking and my husband gets to be…
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/22 05:15 PM
9

I don’t know about ‘more’ but certainly women are ABLE to have power over men. Idk if anyone in this sub has seen the movie ‘the love witch’. It’s supposed to be a feminist commentary on many RP beliefs but ironically actually proves out some of the points. For those who haven’t seen it (it’s very kitschy and aesthetic, not terribly well acted but has a cult following for a reason) it’s about a woman who becomes a witch in order to ‘gain power over men’ by making herself irresistible to them and…
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/22 12:03 AM
2

I met him on tinder a lonnnng time ago but these days hinge is definitely the best option! It’s great not just to see profession but also if they’re open to having kids one day which is a great indication of if they’re open to settling down! Also I’ve found from my friends that guys on hinge are more likely to be relationship seeking than other apps. I think it’s smart to take a break and focus on your vetting skills, you’ll do just great in the dating pool, better you’re learning now than later…
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/22 11:47 PM
3

Ty you put it a lot more bluntly than I could lol
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/22 10:02 PM
7

I have a few hot takes here I’m sure some won’t like but it’s advice I’d give my own friends. -Entertainment industry and general ‘entrepreneurs’ are a glaring red flag to me. Usually don’t signify the type that wanna settle down with a girl and instead are happy to be surrounded by casual flings they rack up. -Dudes in their late 20s who are interested in you are also only going to be interested in sex or hook ups with a girl your age. There’s a reason they’re not in LTR and going after someone…
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/22 09:55 PM
4

Respectfully it’s not what the article says at all. It’s also not a matter of belief but of actual science that’s been tested and studied, which just doesn’t exist. If it did we wouldn’t be seeing menopause and infertility as an increasing issue.
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/22 07:44 PM
1

I wouldn’t buy into all of that, I think even some comments here are saying that as long as you take care of yourself, stay in shape, keep yourself looking and feeling pretty, and have worked through any issues that could be a flag to potential partners you have nothing to worry about. It’s not popular advice but I do also recommend dating apps, particularly hinge if you’re looking for something serious. It has tags on profiles for men who do want kids or want something more serious and I found …
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/22 07:42 PM
4

They’re saying the stem cells are there naturally but them turning into eggs still requires lab manipulation before injecting it back into women. This quote in the article itself is also meaningful since it doesn’t happen on its own ‘I don't see this as really being applicable in the near future in the treatment of infertility’
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/22 07:22 PM
2

Highly recommend getting your fertility tested and speaking with a dr or counselor about planning your kids timeline. If you want kids and don’t settle down with someone, at what age if ever would you want to try on your own? If you are waiting for a partner, how does that affect your expected timeline for marriage and kids? That’s something you’ll want to be upfront about when getting serious. If something shows up in fertility testing, many things can be treated to preserve your fertility, unf…
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/22 07:17 PM
1

I did! I commented to it separately and I still stand by my comment that it’s better to plan than rely on a miracle treatment that hasn’t been gone through proper clinical trials yet.
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/22 07:13 PM
2

I see what you’re saying but this doesn’t happen naturally and clearly requires a vast degree of technology that’s inaccessible right now. I don’t think it’s realistic as an option for anyone.
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/22 07:12 PM
2

I’d be very hesitant to pull anything out of a rat study to say it applies to humans, especially so vastly. That also doesn’t account for egg quality which is the reason for so many issues as you get older. It’s not about GETTING pregnant as you age, it’s STAYING pregnant as miscarriage gets increasingly more common with older eggs that are lower quality and less likely to ‘take’ due to genetic issues. I think it’s honestly better to be honest with women that fertility planning is something to t…
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/22 07:09 PM
2

I think they’re asking for more than just age, like what are their personalities like and interests? I think the commenter is also saying are you showing them that you’d make a good partner and especially long term prospect? For example if you’re hooking up with them rather fast and not expecting or looking for proper dates they could just see you as a potential hook up instead of someone worth their time and effort.
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/22 07:03 PM
8

Women don’t produce new eggs, womens existing eggs mature when they ovulate. If women kept producing eggs, menopause wouldn’t be a thing! 30 is a great time to have a baby but if you want a large family, having to wait a minimum of 18 months between birth and next pregnancy puts you well into your mid to late 30s unfortunately as it just keeps getting exponentially harder with fewer healthy eggs.
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/22 06:59 PM
1

I love this, I definitely think you should! I see this same thing with many of my friends and it’s so infuriating. My husband and I agreed far before we were married that if I’m expected to do the bulk of the childrearing and housekeeping, there’s no way I can also be expected to bring in an income. I honestly wish for more women to be able to work part time or not at all because it’s just been proven time and time again that when both people work, the woman still always winds up doing more labo…
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/22 02:03 PM
13

I remember your previous posts on this OP and it still sounds like you’re pretty miserable. I know it’s hard to break out of a pattern of ‘if just x happens I’ll be so much happier, less moody, and arguing with my husband’. Trust me I get it, I fall into this pattern sometimes too, but you really need to take charge of your own happiness and emotions. Constantly blaming your situation or circumstances leads to a cycle of misery. Sure it’s a lot to deal with in a years time but most of the time o…
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/22 08:52 PM
11

This isn’t the forum for you, this sub is for women seeking advice from women, you’ll likely be better suited on r/relationships or r/marriage
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/22 10:43 PM
3

That’s the difference though, YOU may not care about social media but given how much time he seems to spend on it he clearly does. My husband doesn’t use any social media but hasn’t deactivated his old FB account because he uses it once in a blue moon to look up or get in touch with a relative. He never ever posts anything at all on there so for me it’s not weird that he hasn’t posted anything about me, he just hasn’t posted anything at all in almost 8 years. For her bf to be active on social me…
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/22 03:40 AM
3

I know dating apps are hit or miss for people but in my opinion as long as you trust your vetting they’re great. I met my husband on tinder before it got flooded too badly with just hook ups. We both lived in a major city full of lots of intellectuals and professionals so it was easy to find a HVM. I’d say these days though definitely go for Hinge instead.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/22 03:35 AM
29

I’m not sure where you’re getting the encouragement of being a door mat from, I’d argue most of the advice on here tells women properly vet so they’re not putting up with crappy behavior from men. I also think a lot of people come to this sub now thinking we’re advocating for this bizzaro trend that’s arisen as of late where women are essentially shamelessly looking for men to bank roll their entire lifestyle (calling themselves housewives) paying for every date, every whim, their shopping addic…
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/22 11:40 PM
2

Ty!
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/22 05:38 PM
2

I think you’re ignoring the perspective that what you describe as ‘calling out’ and ‘standing up for yourself’ isn’t really that at all. In your view it may be, but from lots of outside perspectives it’s just getting your last word in to try and engage further. You have absolutely nothing to gain from it. Folks here are being harsh because many of us have been in this situation before and look back if we did what you did with embarrassment. We WISH we had someone being straight up honest with us…
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/22 05:25 PM
2

I don’t think OP is looking for actual advice here, she seems to have only responded to folks in another sub who told her there’s nothing wrong with this plan and she should send the text. Seems to just be looking for validation.
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/22 04:45 PM
4

This is the vibe I’m getting as well.
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/22 04:40 PM
1

Are you dating and seeing each other than as you said in your previous post? Or are you friends? You say you’re looking for a man who appreciates your RPW nature but completely contradict yourself in the way you’re going about your dating life. You date with intention not ‘just hanging out’ and then wonder why you can’t find a man that appreciates your RPW nature.
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/22 04:38 PM
5

Are you dating and seeing each other than as you said in your previous post? Or are you friends? You say you’re looking for a man who appreciates your RPW nature but completely contradict yourself in the way you’re going about your dating life. You date with intention not ‘just hanging out’ and then wonder why you can’t find a man that appreciates your RPW nature.
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/22 04:38 PM
1

Mexico isn’t really a monolith, there are some areas more dangerous than others and if you’re vigilant and listen to the locals advice you’ll be fine. This is your captain and you should trust him with this decision! It sounds like it can be a great adventure. Every older couple I’ve ever met who’s had a chance to live abroad has spoken about it very fondly when looking back on their marriage. It’s a new adventure that can bring you closer together as you learn to navigate a new situation and wa…
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/22 04:35 PM
9

Totally agreed, I had a very rough childhood and came out very well adjusted after a lot of introspection and therapy I made a priority in my early 20s. By the time I met my now husband, I was very clear about what I wanted in life, able to take care of myself (had my finances in order through working my ass off in college and fresh out of college), I overall had my shit together a lot better at 23 than most other women my age. It was what attracted him to me, he was amazed at my resilience and …
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/22 04:29 PM
5

You’re a little young to have reached this conclusion. Once you’re older you’ll likely realize you’ve been going after the wrong guys, and guys your age will also mature into wanting someone who is wife material. Most guys your age just don’t want that. It’s now the time to hone your vetting skills though as it seems like they need some work. I can tell you with certainty, me and the many other married women on this sub know otherwise that men do appreciate RPW. My husband has the biggest smile …
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/22 02:03 PM
11

Don’t, it isn’t standing up for yourself so much as it is wanting to have the last word. I’d argue there’s even more dignity in not saying anything at all and moving on with your life. I’m not a big fan of the whole being friends with an ex after a break up, too many things can turn into mixed messages, hurt feelings, or just misunderstanding on one persons end about potentially getting back together. Reaching out at this point will honestly just come across as desperate. It’s best to cut all ti…
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/22 12:54 AM
1

I totally hear you, that’s why I resigned to wearing mostly dresses!
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/22 10:55 PM
23

This is such a great take here, I think you’re spot on about this nuance. My husband and I are a good example of this, we both have a past, and roughly the same n count, he had no issue with it at all and my sexuality was one of the things that initially attracted him to me. He has no tattoos but I have a few very small ones (simple just outlines and discreet), which he also found attractive. He’s very much a HVM, strong convictions about commitment, children, and marriage, high earner (works in…
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/22 04:54 PM
3

This is exactly me! I have a short torso and long legs at the same height. It’s taken me a really long time but I live in A line dresses that I usually buy in a midi size that’ll hit just above my ankles. I also love mini dresses in an A line shape with a sweetheart or v-neck neckline, ones with floral prints are my husbands favorite. I also live in flowy sun dresses in fun bright colors in the summer. I learned that I just can’t bother with separates for the most part, too much work and everyth…
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/22 01:54 AM
2

ahh we’re so close in due dates! I’m 18+6! We must be in the same bump group!
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/22 03:44 PM
2

This is so so helpful! You’re the third person I’ve heard say great things about bum genius so I know what’s going on the registry!
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/22 11:59 PM
2

I’d say probably? But I’m not entirely sure how you’re defining it in specifics.
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/22 09:08 PM
5

I’m not sure this is the right forum for you since it’s primarily for women seeking RP advice from women or men who are married. I think it’s a really broad definition, do you consider any kind of attraction to another person in this? Also what do you mean by your ex ‘did not stop seeking attention from pics on social media’? I’m very happily married and I often post pics of myself with hubby included where I’m in a bikini, it’s just what I wear on vacation and I wouldn’t call this ‘seeking atte…
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/22 09:02 PM
4

Thanks so much, this is all such great and helpful advice! Do you have any cloth diapering recos? I imagine you do wash every day? Do you hand rinse first?
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/22 08:50 PM
3

I agree with a lot of other folks here that diet is the first thing to tackle, you don’t lose weight with just exercise. I’d look into low calorie meals that have a ton of fiber in them for the satiation factor, this means lots and lots of veggies, I’m talking like at least half his plate, not a meager side portion. Bulking up on low calorie, high fiber foods is going to be good for his heart health and insulin, as well as ‘cleaning out’ more efficiently. It’s very effective, and if you want to …
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/22 12:21 PM
3

In the event of break ups, people quickly turn into not rational adults. Even unmarried people go to court over this stuff. Not being married doesn’t guarantee you won’t. It just guarantees it’ll be messier.
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/22 12:21 PM
6

A man can also cheat on his wife and leave her and have wasted her time, commitment, and child bearing years so I don’t get your point. My point is women are already sacrificing their health and earning potential by having a child for a man so it’s only expected to want some level of security in return. You can do anything out of marriage, but it comes with higher risk, that’s what marriage is for. I think you’re also missing the point that in modern day women ALSO have money and assets coming i…
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/22 11:03 AM
0

That is for the house itself not any shared assets.
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/22 10:50 AM
3

How is it HIS house if they both put money in? I truly don’t understand this new RP phenomenon of pretending that women don’t contribute financially, and often significantly financially these days in modern relationships. While also stating they want ‘traditional women’ but don’t want ‘gold diggers who don’t work’. It’s like there’s no scenario for these men to want to have a long term relationship with a woman that requires any sort of real commitment or sacrifice at all, and also fail to recog…
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/22 10:46 AM
5

It actually is also for men, they get someone to bear their children, take care of their home, provide love and emotional support to them. Married men live longer than unmarried men, women are generally the caretakers of the home, the children, and also their husbands well into old age. Let’s not pretend that men don’t get anything out of this commitment.
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/22 10:40 AM
31

You could argue there’s no benefit to her having a child or house with him either then. I guess everyone’s just going to deny each other commitments from now on to avoid the possibility of taking any risks.
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/22 01:38 AM
20

There’s risk to literally every relationship ever. The point is there’s a risk benefit analysis to do when making giant life commitments such as buying a house or having a child with someone. Marriages can break up, that sucks, but that’s no reason to be ignorant of the massive mutual security it generally affords each other. If a woman gets pregnant, her boyfriend can just walk away, it’s much harder to leave a marriage, same goes for a house, if the wife cheats and you have a prenup with a fid…
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/22 01:25 AM
37

Women risk their health and their careers to have children, doing so out of wedlock is also a huge risk to them.
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/22 01:03 AM
4

I remember your previous posts here about this OP, I believe you’ve asked this same question several times over which makes it clear this is not what you want and therefore shouldn’t keep pursuing this relationship. Neither of you will be fulfilled if you do.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/22 10:31 PM
5

I think you hit the nail on the head here. Working women are still expected to do all of the housework and child rearing in addition to working. It’s a horrible arrangement that I can understand why modern women are opting out of kids if they’re just going to wind up working themselves to death burning both candles and expecting to ‘do it all’. I’m so blessed everyday when I see how much my working friends struggle with this in their own lives and I’m glad I got to be able to make the choice to …
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/22 11:58 AM
3

I wish I could star both your comments here. OP wants men to be able to back out of all responsibility when a marriage fails and de facto leave a worse situation for a woman. Idk in what world this is supposed to encourage women to want to get married and have children. Women sacrifice their bodies and their careers for their families, and to have absolutely no safety net is lunacy. I agree with you that the issue is there are far fewer HVM willing to man up and take responsibility.
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/22 11:55 AM
1

Ok then what incentive what a woman have then to bear children and marry? If she’s expected to do all the work of a household and raising children with absolutely no safety net if her husband decides he wants to screw the secretary and leave her?
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/22 11:50 AM
2

I actually come from a ‘third world country’ and my mother divorced after supporting her husband both in the household, with children, and financially supported him through medical school. She got absolutely nothing and had to move in with her family, she had a masters degree and had to work cleaning hotels for 50 hours a week to support his children, so yes you’re factually correct in her husband was better off and she got nothing out of it despite providing so much for him. They’re terrible la…
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/22 11:46 AM
3

Child support is for the child and doesn’t typically provide for any living expenses. That’s what alimony is for. It’s far more expensive to maintain 2 separate households than one joint one, and if someone is earning far less than their partner but still has primary custody in which they have to now house all the kids, she probably needs additional income support to afford that. Otherwise they’re living in a cramped apartment while their father gets to maintain a home with no kids running aroun…
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/22 10:50 AM
6

Assets ‘belonging to one person’, what happened to what’s mine is yours in marriage? If your wife earns less or no money in a marriage in order to raise the children and tend to the home she’s automatically not entitled to any of it because he was the monetary earner? In this day and age surely most women work because it’s usually not feasible to have children and own a house on a single income. But it’s almost always women taking a hit to their careers by choosing to have children. They’re the …
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/22 10:45 AM
2

I think this is a great idea. I mean marriage is currently a legal contract so might as well have exit clauses in there that are agreed upon up front.
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/22 10:20 AM
6

Your daughter sounds like a normal teenager and I really hope you and your husband take a long hard look within yourselves as the issue here isn’t your daughter it’s your parenting. You don’t have children to mold them into the exact versions of yourself, your children are individuals who will grow up wanting to live their own lives not yours. It’s an incredibly selfish way to raise children and I really hope you listen to the advice you’re given here before you cause irreparable damage to your …
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/22 07:13 PM
3

I get both your perspective and your husbands here. It must be very frustrating to not have a home of your own and it must also suck to have a husband that calls you a brat. However, I think you may be contributing to your own misery here a bit. And no one can give you advice on how to make your husband magically change his mind about moving or how he manages the finances. Let’s break it down a bit on things YOU can control. -You mention self-isolating in your room because your in laws sometimes…
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/22 06:09 PM
13

I love this! Do you think it’s something still doable this day and age? I feel like folks might be a little sketched by a stranger offering baked goods haha
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/22 05:30 PM
5

I’m pregnant right now so I feel like until I have our baby it’s hard to find other housewives. I don’t even think my baby will be ready to play with other kids for a couple months so at least a year from when I’m due to that point.
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/22 05:29 PM
3

This is a great idea! Unfortunately my husband works remotely so his coworkers are all over the country. I’m currently pregnant so without a kiddo yet I feel a little weird talking to other moms haha
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/22 05:28 PM
6

My husband and I are still newlyweds but we went through pre canna which I think touched on 4 very important topics. -Marriage and what does this mean to each of you? My husband is catholic and very much views marriage as a firm life long commitment, he does not believe in divorce. He truly believes that nearly any problem (outside of abuse and infidelity) can be resolved in a marriage. I know a lot of folks like to think marriage is forever but when they really think about it may divorce for re…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/22 03:45 AM
1

I feel like having kids or not is a major relationship deal breaker it’s one of those life long things there’s no compromise on so why not find out sooner rather than later if someone wants them? If you’re not on the same page it’s best to know these things early than have heartbreak years down the line after a relationship has already formed.
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/22 03:29 AM
3

If you don’t want kids and you wind up marrying this man, you’ll have a step child anyway. I’m not sure of the circumstances that led to your partner breaking up with the mother of his child but even those can be red flags sometimes, particularly for a man you’d want to take commitment very seriously. Some might not like this take but personally I think barring any abuse, infidelity, him being left out of no where, etc it’s a major red flag for a HMV to have broken up with the mother of his chil…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/22 03:25 AM
1

You proved my point in that millennials have lower divorce rates, also the average divorce rates can’t even be calculated well since they’re done by dividing marriage rates by divorce rates for a particular year which doesn’t make sense as typically people getting married one year aren’t the same as the ones divorcing that year. Irregardless of all of that, my point stands that millennials who enter marriage are less likely to divorce than their parents, that’s a good thing! We can agree on that…
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/22 12:27 PM
1

This commenter is talking about people for whom virginity IS important not that it should be for everyone so you seem to be taking that point way too broadly and also personally. Speaking as someone who did have sex outside of marriage and a fair number of partners (without regret I may add) it’s just stupid to say that sex doesn’t come with emotional or physical consequences. You do have to be ‘emotionally tough’ in a sense to have casual sex. Some people attach great emotional ties to sex and …
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/22 02:24 AM
1

It’s unfortunate but infertility is a lot more common now than our parents era. You can get your fertility tested through your normal Ob/gyn visit if not there’s at home tests (which I did) that are only about 100 bucks, modern fertility is a great one that market to women in their mid to late 20s and 30s for this exact reason, it’s lot cheaper than lab work if your insurance doesn’t cover it. It’s better to do it early than have to pay for fertility treatments later which are even more expensiv…
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/22 03:04 PM
2

Yes it can stop periods but you had specifically mentioned miscarriage which is a whole other ball game. Generally yes if you are having issues getting pregnant the first thing you should do is tracking and test your ovulation, but stress doesn’t cause miscarriage Id hate for anyone to believe they caused their own miscarriage by being stressed out. Irregardless of all of that I still think it’s in everyone’s best interest to have their fertility tested before trying for kids. Sure many people d…
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/22 01:26 PM
2

That’s not really true the reality is miscarriage increases with age because egg quality declines with age. Many women who are perfectly healthy face infertility. You could be perfectly healthy in your late 20s and have a diminished ovarian reserve without even knowing. Even when someone has no issues with their hormones or uterine issues or any other health issues, the ‘cause’ of most miscarriage is usually an issue with the embryo. And the cause of a fertilized embryo not implanting is general…
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/22 11:16 AM
3

I know it may not feel like it now but the years are so long when you’re that age! You’ll grow and mature so much in a short span of a year more than you will realize until you look back, you might look back on this feeling at 20 or 21 even while in a great relationship or even just enough confidence to be dating and realize just how much you matured in such a short amount of time. Don’t sweat it and always listen to your gut!
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/22 12:10 AM
3

I know it’s not popular usually with RPW but I found my husband on tinder, I have several friends who found meaningful relationships on Hinge after tinder got inundated with hook up types.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/22 11:17 PM
1

It’s not about the paper it’s about the level of career and finding someone in a similar earning range. Finding a husband isn’t a full time job so I’m not sure about the time argument. I’ve had a full time job when I was dating my husband and it has no impact on how much time I was able to spend with him. Similarly he was getting a PhD and again same thing there. However had I not had a professional career I was passionate about he wouldn’t be interested in me.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/22 11:00 PM
5

I’m not sure that going to school is reducing the likelihood of the other. Let’s be honest, in the modern world, the men who are likely to make enough money to support a SAHM are highly educated, these highly educated men prefer the company of highly educated women preferably ones with a career when they meet. I don’t know of any man in a professional career that makes 6 figures who is going to interested in a woman who went out of her way to not pursue education or have a career. It’s not cut a…
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/22 10:47 PM
15

You’re so young to have this mindset, I had plenty of friends in college who didn’t have their first relationship until 21, 22, or post college. Just because you haven’t met anyone bf material at 19 doesn’t mean you never will. And in the meantime maybe consider if your standards for men your age are too high to find someone to date?
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/22 09:20 PM
3

She said she has PCOS right in her post. And saying ‘I had a friend who…’ is the literal definition of anecdotal. That’s why Emmalai85 mentioned her fertility history with PCOS. Someone pointed out above too that you can always go to grad school and delay it and come back whenever you want, but you can’t ever delay your fertility. It’s an unfortunate reality but it is one. Unless you have the means to test and plan to freeze eggs (which itself has a VERY low success rate in comparison to frozen …
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/22 09:18 PM
5

I’m not sure where you’re getting this take from what I’m saying. I’m saying it’s harder to find people who are marriage minded, but if you do, your rate of marriage failure is a lot lower because of that stat. I never said this guarantees a counter part but statistically that IF they find a husband that husband is less likely to pack up and leave them or vice versa than in her parents generation. Of course women should vet for partners who believe in that commitment, that’s what vetting is all …
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/22 09:12 PM
3

I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that! This is exactly why I keep pushing fertility testing and planning to anyone who plans on having kids one day. You never know what issues you’ll have until you start trying and by the time you start it might be too late to take action or slow progression on any issues you may have. People will plan and save for a big house, an expensive wedding, and then assume with kids everything will just ‘work itself out’. But the sad reality to your point is in…
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/22 09:04 PM
4

It’s not really though, one is the decline of folks who are marriage minded and the other is the decline of marriages themselves after you’ve already made vows of life long commitment. You’re able to find someone in this day and age who wants to get married, there’s a much higher chance they’re taking that commitment seriously than older generations who felt it was just another step in adulthood.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/22 08:59 PM
7

I’m not sure you’ll find that on any dating site to be honest. I say this as a woman who met my husband on tinder lol but we were both in our mid 20s when we met, any younger than that o don’t think you’ll find. Unless you live in a very religious area it’s nearly impossible to find that at your age when most men aren’t even able to provide for a family and are working on building the skill set to be able to do so. If you’re set on marriage at a young age the best place to look honestly would be…
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/22 08:57 PM
4

I agree with your advice but that stat simply is not true. It’s true marriage rates have been on a decline but divorce rates for millennials are far far lower than for boomers and gen X, which is where the 50 percent figure came from a long time ago. It’s because people are having healthier marriages now, and entering into them because they truly want to. Marriages don’t just fail for no reason, and I think it’s kind of silly in a RPW sub to presume that you can’t trust your marriage or your hus…
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/22 08:52 PM
6

This is excellent advice. Women aren’t taught to plan their fertility enough, and I think it’s very harmful advice to tell women to put off building a family without a plan. It’s easy for a lot of folks to say ‘your early 30s are still young for kids!’ But it’s just not true especially if you want multiple, and ESPECIALLY going into it without a fertility plan.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/22 08:48 PM
24

I’d like to echo this advice. You can definitely work on finding a husband while you’re in graduate school and you’ll maybe even be more likely to find a HVM who’s high earning as well. I am very blessed to be a SAHW about to be SAHM (currently 28 and pregnant with our first), but I honestly don’t think my husband would’ve been interested in me or settling down with me if I hadn’t been highly educated like he is. Many modern men, even those who want a SAHW like my husband very much value women w…
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/22 08:44 PM
2

I appreciate it! I should’ve prefaced this by saying I used to work in a maternity ward, be a doula, and come from a family of NICU doctors and OB/GYNs so I’m very well educated in pregnancy and birth complications and that’s actually why I’m looking more for positivity than birth horror stories. I’ve spent a good chunk of my life hearing only about and seeing the trauma of what can go wrong, and hearing peoples personal anecdotes now while I’m going through pregnancy, is only feeding into this …
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/22 09:19 PM
10

This, OP you’re young and this man is not displaying HVM traits, he’s much older than you, works less, and is verbally abusive. You deserve and can do a lot better than this. Don’t let this be your life because you’ll always be the one putting in more work and still getting berated.
/r/RedPillWomen15/04/22 11:26 PM
2

They don’t just make up promotions to keep people from quitting when they’re unearned. That’s a waste of time and resources for everyone involved. It sounds like a lot of projecting on your end. My lord, based on your comments and your post history you sound very bitter about your own situation and feel better tearing down others who happen to ‘marry well’. I’m sorry you have a mental block, it’s not like my family or friend circle even necessarily understands our arrangement. But my husband was…
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/22 03:46 PM
2

I don’t know why I’m even justifying myself to you but I was literally an associate director and they tried to lure me into staying with a director level promotion a month ahead of promotion season when I told them I was giving notice. So yes I was literally about to be the youngest director in my department. Just because a woman chooses to leave her job to raise a family doesn’t mean she’s ‘running away from the challenges a workforce entails’, at my level I already was well equipped with the a…
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/22 03:03 PM
1

This is so sweet! I may take you up and message you sometime if that’s ok 😊
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/22 08:04 PM
3

Congrats mama!! Wishing you a smooth and joyful birth and postpartum!
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/22 12:33 PM
2

Congrats!! I just made it into my second trimester and the first felt so long waiting for all the appointments haha I hope it goes smoothly for you!
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/22 12:31 PM
1

Love this, I know it’s not my place to convince anyone of what to do with their plans to have or not have kids but within my own friend group I’ve found that most are just terrified of pregnancy and birth. I myself was absolutely petrified until my desire for children outweighed that fear enough to start trying! I often want to even tell my friends and sisters ‘it’s not as bad as you think!’ But of course I haven’t even gotten to the hard parts yet haha
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/22 12:29 AM
6

These are such great suggestions! My husband is catholic so I’m definitely interested in Theology of Home. I’m so glad to hear you had such positive experiences! I’d love to hear your birth stories! I’ve been trying to find some positive birth vlogs or blogs and have only found a few positive ones on YouTube but the ones I have seen have made me cry and get so excited to deliver.
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/22 12:26 AM
4

I love this! I’ve been a bit hesitant to share the positives because I feel like that’s also frowned upon? Like because other folks have such a hard time it would almost come off like bragging?
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/22 12:15 AM
5

Oh I know it will hurt! Sorry if my post came off as it won’t, I meant more like I’m tired of being told that constantly by people in person to my face when I obviously know it will. I totally agree that it’ll be worth it, otherwise I wouldn’t have started TTC! How do you tell folks though that you don’t need to hear all the bad and would rather hear the good?
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/22 12:05 AM
1

Has he made any steps toward proposing? If you want a child by 26 then he should be planning to propose in the next year, in which case I would assume you’ve discussed it by now. If not, I think it’s fairly telling. I have a friend in a similar situation where her bf has a child with another woman who refused him any visitation or custody so now he’s extremely hesitant to have another child despite her wanting them. They’ve been together for over 5 years so if you’re serious about your timeline …
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/22 10:01 PM
17

I’d probably say about 50 percent close to 60. It’s been skewing more trad the past few years. Trad - I’m a housewife, quite literally barefoot and pregnant with our first child. Planning on more, planning to homeschool them. Have fairly trad interests such as homesteading, gardening, sewing, cooking. My husband is the sole income earner, and I cook and clean (less so lately while experiencing some of the less fun side effects of first trimester pregnancy). My husband leads the major decisions i…
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/22 09:51 PM
4

Ofc, hope it goes well! Keep us posted!
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/22 04:46 PM
7

I think it totally depends on the response he gives you but for example, let’s say he says he’s not comfortable with his family paying extra, and they won’t accept payment from him, try offering an alternative? ‘I would still love to go as we’re all one family now, and maybe to make it up to them we can invite your parents on a trip or dinner that we pay for’. Or you could bring him the issue and let him come to a conclusion ‘I understand why you feel that way, but now that we are married I woul…
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/22 04:29 PM
17

I feel like once your in laws realize they’ll find it very strange and ask him why not. He shouldn’t lie here and hopefully it puts into perspective for him how embarrassing and silly he looks for excluding you from a trip with family that you are now a part of.
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/22 04:25 PM
6

I think the least he owes you is an explanation. I think you can calmly explain to him that being married means you expected to be one unit and this is making you feel as though you’re not and it hurts you. You can ask him to then explain his reasoning so you can understand him and maybe not be so upset? This would be a gentle way of at least getting a solid answer.
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/22 04:21 PM
3

I’m kind of in agreement with you here, I don’t appreciate when people get upset about going through other posts. People often leave out glaring red flags or context when seeking advice that’s easily found in their history. What I’m more concerned about is the mental health issues, they may be none of my business so I won’t cross post them here but the ones you describe OP are definitely going to get in the way of you finding a HVM especially if they’re left unchecked. They lead to unhappy and o…
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/22 11:38 AM
5

Agreed with everything here, unless your dr says so you can totally have sex while pregnant, my dr even encouraged it towards the end of pregnancy to induce labor! The wait after is a blip and there’s lots of other things going on. I totally agree that you should try and find sex to be desirable not a duty. I highly recommend the book ‘Come As You Are’ OP, this will help you understand your own sexuality and stoking desire within yourself for sex with your husband.
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/22 11:27 AM
2

You mention being burnt out already in your post OP, imagine how burnt out you’ll be when you’re working full time, taking care of the home, AND a baby all at once, especially with seemingly little to no help from your partner. It doesn’t seem worth it at all. Is egg or embryo freezing an option for you? You would be able to buy time while looking for a worthy partner.
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/22 12:08 AM
3

Agree with this, I’d add that the timing of when they decide to propose is also when they’re ready to take that next step in their life. If a man wants children, he’ll likely propose when he’s ready to have them, with the woman he can see wanting to be his children’s mother. Which I think infers that values and compatibility are incredibly important to a man being able to actually picture himself happy with you in the long term.
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/22 09:50 AM
5

Seconding this! It’s hard to meet people when you’re in a new stage of life. I’m currently pregnant with my first and moved about 30 mins from the city where most of my friends live. My friends are no where near the pregnancy or mommy stage of life so I know it’s only going to make the rift that much larger. There’s an app called peanut that’s for mothers and expecting moms that’s basically like tinder for mom friends! I’ve heard there’s even a bumble for friends. Maybe start by looking at some …
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/22 07:08 PM
1

Yes to all of the above, a good number of them are also looking into buying a house with them as a priority first before bringing up the topic of marriage (there’s a strong stigma it seems that even bringing up the topic can appear ‘pushy’). Thank you for the resources! I agree that buying and building a home together before marriage is a huge disservice to incentivizing it for their SOs. Hopefully these can help put things into perspective.
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/22 03:26 PM
1

Just wanted to update and say this was very helpful! Had a talk with a friend this weekend whose bf wanted them to purchase a house together before getting engaged, I asked her this question and it helped her figure out a way to broach the topic of engagement with him amidst the home buying conversation.
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/22 03:22 PM
4

Since you did mention PCOS, you’ll definitely want to review the results with your GYN as well! The test gives you an in depth overview of your hormone levels and ovarian reserve but your gyn can give you much more detailed advice if needed on any extra measures you may need to take. It’s also worth searching for a coupon code online, I think I’ve seen some around for 20 or 30 off!
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/22 03:45 AM
2

Of course! Its really great that you’re putting so much thought into this, it’s setting the foundation for a very happy and fulfilling marriage for you both!
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/22 03:41 AM
3

Edited to clarify! Yes it is if you go through your dr or insurance, I opted to do modern fertility which can be done at home! You can check it out on their website, the test is only about $150 and is reviewed by nurses who are available for questions and consults whenever you need! This is compared to several hundreds if you get blood work done through a standard lab.
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/22 03:37 AM
8

I think everything you’re doing is wonderful! Pre-marital counseling is also a fantastic way of getting on the same page about things you wouldn’t have thought of. Speaking from personal experience, my husband and I went through pre canna and it was so helpful and really bonded us even closer together. On a practical front, I highly recommend writing down a daily schedule that is chunked by tasks based on priority. For example, cleaning and cooking as daily tasks that you will spend no more than…
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/22 03:30 AM
1

Because they’re my friends and I care about them? Because they’re the ones explicitly asking me for advice? I’m not in the habit of offering unsolicited advice, and I’ve gotten good advice from the folks who did comment earlier. I’m not sure why you seem to be pressed enough to ask such a loaded rhetorical question about a genuine post on how to go about offering RPW advice?
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/22 03:20 AM
11

To be fair to some of the commenters, they’re not arguing it’s sketchy necessarily from a moral perspective - that would be living together at all. But it is sketchy from a financial stability perspective for you. Of course a marriage isn’t transactional, it’s a lot more sacred than that, but you also can’t ignore the reality that it’s a legal contract that affords financial protection that simply being with someone does not. I think this is what most of these comments are telling you. It’s more…
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/22 04:57 AM
24

Was going to comment exactly this. If you haven’t already OP, have you discussed a timeline for marriage? I know it’s quite in vogue now for folks to want to buy a house together prior to becoming married, but it puts you, the lower income earner, at a high risk without the legal safety net of marriage. Especially since you’re taking on wifely duties. When you take on a shared household together, typically married couples combine their finances to pay for all household expenses, but in this situ…
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/22 12:37 AM
2

Seconding this and also recommend Rebecca Fetts ‘It Starts With the Egg’ in addition!
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/22 01:53 PM
14

Usually one of the benefits of marriage is to pool your income to pay for everything. If you’re working only part time this would mean his income would pay for most of your bills, if not all of them. Was there a reason to not do it this way?
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/22 01:50 PM
2

This is when they’ve explicitly asked me for advice as to ‘how I managed to convince my bf to get married’ within the context of them being in LTR. I’m more asking if there’s any way to be gentle than telling them out right that they’re seemingly wasting their time if they haven’t discussed anything and their partners are still wishy washy.
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/22 03:50 PM
2

Thanks for your input! I agree, I’m not sure why they aren’t more concerned, while it’s possible to have kids in your mid to late 30s it’s often very expensive and comes with needed help, which is why my husband and I chose to start earlier, and honestly wish we would’ve even started sooner. I feel like fertility planning is really not something that’s talked about, to your point people seem to mostly assume is fairly easy to get pregnant, without having done any blood work or other testing with…
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/22 02:14 AM
1

Oh! Do you have any recos for a specific one?
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/22 01:41 PM
1

This is pretty specific but does anyone have any tips on how to clean and maintain your baseboards easily? Currently pregnant so finding it hard to get down to clean them
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/22 01:14 PM
12

Echoing everything here. It doesn’t sound like it’s for real, and it’s also a red flag to be letting your child call him ‘dad’ with no real commitment. He’s all talk and clearly no follow through, and even despite that there seems to be major red flags all around. It can be fun to reminisce but neither of you will get that time back nor make up for it, especially given all of what you both have been through in past relationships. Also he’s MGTOW and that itself should be a major red flag that he…
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/22 04:10 AM
1

The love is what allow you both to meet each other’s needs, there’s nothing more important than love in a life long relationship. There’s a saying that the 3 most important things in life are ‘faith, hope, and love, with love being the most important of all’. It doesn’t sound like you love this person or if you do that you’re compatible, you’ve mentioned things you ‘like’ and that he has a high earning potential - that sounds very transactional. If he wants this lifestyle and is willing to have …
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/22 03:52 PM
3

I think you bring up a number of valid concerns, and to be frank, even in your description of him and your relationship, it sounds like you’re considering ‘settling’ for someone who is hanging an ultimatum over your head. You ‘like him a lot’ and you’re compatible, but are you in love with this person? When my husband and I got married, we were both enthusiastically and stupidly in love (even after 5 years of a relationship) and still are because we’re very communicative and trust each other com…
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/22 12:28 PM
11

I just answered in your other thread OP and forgive me if this is overstepping but based on a few of your past posts it appears you’re in India? I ask because I’m of the same background but in the states. I’ve known many men from our background who have this egotistical approach to fighting (let’s be honest that’s what it is when you threaten to leave your SO over fights) and while it may be common in the culture, it is not normal nor is it healthy, and I really want to emphasize this. Your part…
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/22 06:23 PM
9

I was in the same boat! I earned a lot of money, and my husband is finishing his PhD in a few months. He just accepted an offer where he will be making about double what I made so thankfully we’ll be comfortable. I was worried about having to ‘ask’ as well but my husband truly believes that it’s truly our joint money and that I don’t need to ask him. I have had a habit of spending more than him in the past but I’ve definitely become way less ‘spendy’ recently not because I’m worried about him ju…
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/22 06:08 PM
20

I recently made this shift from a pretty lucrative career to homemaker a few months ago once my husband and I got married and started trying for kids (pregnant with our first on the way!) I can honestly say I never pictured this lifestyle until I met my husband. Not because HE asked for it, but because in talking about our hopes and dreams for the future, we knew we wanted to have multiple children, and be able to raise them ourselves. My husband had a mother who only worked part time most of hi…
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/22 05:08 PM
3

Just commenting here too - so am I! I’m currently 7 weeks so right around your due date as well - if you ever need an ear and you aren’t already in a bump group I highly recommend joining the October bumpers, there are so many incredible supportive women there who are likely going through the same thing.
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/22 01:03 PM
1

Thank you! It honestly helps so much hearing it’s only temporary.
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/22 11:02 PM
5

I’m currently in the throes of pregnancy nausea and vomiting and he’s been so amazing. I’ve been completely helpless around the house and he’s been doing most of the chores and cooking for both of us despite that being my usual responsibility. It’s temporary but he says it’s the least he can contribute while I’m growing our family 💕
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/22 12:29 PM
13

Same here!! I’m left leaning but this is sub has been such a positive and encouraging space, especially when in my very liberal circle of friends no one seems to understand how or why my husband and I choose to have traditional roles in our marriage.
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/22 11:03 AM
3

I’m not sure that this is the right sub for you if you have this feeling towards marriage
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/22 12:26 PM
47

My husband and I even prior to marriage had agreed that we wanted a traditional arrangement. I had a high paying career (nearly 6 figures), but at the expense of working 60 hour weeks. We both knew in order to have the family life we want, we couldn’t both be working these careers. In that, I did not have to even necessarily ‘ask’ him for a ring, a marriage with no prenup or joint accounts. He in fact expected that in order to have this lifestyle, it required fully combining our assets, and maki…
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/22 11:21 AM
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