How to raise a boy while maintaining your femininity?

SatyaNi · 2022-10-16T13:45:37+00:00

Just love him, and let your husband BE the father.

VyckyD · 2022-10-16T13:17:10+00:00

My advice. BE FEMININE. Your son is going to grow into a man and his outlook on relationships begins with yours. Your relationship is the baseline for how a masculine man and feminine woman interact and respect each other.

Take a look at Jordan Peterson's take on rough and tumble play. He goes through children's early development and how to facilitate the development of their social skills.

mihapiha · 2022-10-16T13:59:46+00:00

You don't need to be masculine with your child. You should be yourself and just be feminine. I don't know if it natural to grow up with a super masculine mom anyways.

anothergoodbook · 2022-10-16T16:22:55+00:00

Be a nurturing mom :). I didn’t have brothers so everything about my son was totally new! But I was his comfort and safe place where dad was the one who pushed boundaries. This has been the case for all of our kids (2 girls and 2 boys).
Best example is going to the pool. My kids would be worried and cautious and I’d hold them. My husband would swoop in and bring them to the deep end, jump in with them, splash, etc. That is pretty much anything. Biggest piece of advice is just don’t contradict your husband in front on the kids (and vice versa)!

When in doubt if something is “normal”, double check with other mom friends or your husband. FYI as soon as he understands anything he will be obsessed with his penis - that’s totally normal 😂🤣.

One of my favorite memories of my first is him being 18 months/2 years old hanging onto my skirt while baking and saying “mama”. He’s 14 now which is so, so crazy lol.

MuttonDressedAsGoose · 2022-10-16T21:06:37+00:00

I had three boys (well I still have them but they're teens now.)

Boys are generally very sweet and affectionate. They love their mommies. They usually (obviously not always) naturally gravitate to boy toys like trucks and dinosaurs - they love nothing more than to see a firetruck or bulldozer go past.

Your husband will be a masculine example for him, so don't worry about your role. Just be a mom, and all will be fine.

sunglasses90 · 2022-10-16T16:26:13+00:00

You don’t have to change anything about yourself. You be you, and make sure he has plenty of one on one play time with dad on evenings or weekends. Listen to Jordan Peterson and or read the book The Boy Crisis to understand the importance of father being around and “rough and tumble” play with dad.

locomoco210 · 2022-10-16T15:30:43+00:00

I feel it enhances your femininity. I have two young sons, and they always comment on my clothes and hair when I make an effort. They really like it when I do my makeup and it will give them their idea of what femininity is. My mom didn’t put much effort in her appearance, so I try more to make myself up because it does make a difference in how people view you.

Protocol_Apollo · 2022-10-16T21:18:37+00:00

The mother takes the more comforting, nurturing role.

Whereas the father takes the more harsh, mentoring type of role.

It’s up to the father to show the son the cold, harsh brutalities of the outside world and how to navigate through them, and it’s up to the mother to show him that despite that, he will always find warmth and shelter at home.

becca_bailey · 2022-10-16T18:54:54+00:00

Being a boy mom is sooo fun & the relationship a mom has with her son is the absolute sweetest! Congratulations! I let my son lead and just go along with his interests trying to make it as fun as possible for him.

angelicasinensis · 2022-10-17T00:03:09+00:00

your overthinking it- they are your child and you will love them so much it will come naturally, I promise. Really kids are just kids and you love them and support them and have fun and its awesome. I have two boys and a girl- I am super girly and my first was a boy- we STILL have an amazing connection, we cuddle and we tell each other we love each other all the time- I personally do not like playing legos and such but we do so many fun things together like going for walks, cooking and baking and I am his homeschool teacher and that has been a great way we connect. My boys love stuffed animals, playing make believe, hide and seek and all of that and as babies they just love cuddles, being sang too and all of that regardless of gender.

RedPillDad · 2022-10-16T21:06:26+00:00

Moms want to protect their child from the world, and that's the best thing in their early years. The little rascals are constantly trying to off themselves every day, and mothers have an instinctual ability to detect proximity threats.

Dads want to help their children master themselves and conquer the world. They step up as the child gets older. Sadly, men don't take on this role as much and children, particularly boys, are failing to transition into competent adulthood.

AutoModerator · 2022-10-16T12:48:17+00:00

Title: How to raise a boy while maintaining your femininity?

Full text: We’re expecting our first child literally any day now! I’ve been very introspective as to how my life is going to look past the babyhood stage and wondering if any other RPW have advice. Before we found out the gender everyone was convinced I would have a girl for no other reason than ‘you’re so girly and feminine I can’t picture you with a boy!’ I’m going to be a SAHM so spending a LOT of time with our little one. I have absolutely zero insight into typical boy interests or how I should even approach parenting in a way to nurture his masculinity. Of course my husband will be the one guiding him and will be his masculine role model and authority, but it makes me a little self conscious that I won’t know what I’m doing when I’m going to be the one with him most of the day. Any insights from other boy moms?

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ClarityByHilarity · 2022-10-16T22:40:54+00:00

I have four children and only one of those is a boy. My boy is my absolute baby. He gets his guidance from his stepfather mostly and they do tons of things together. You don’t need to teach him to be a man. Just love him and always be his soft spot to fall. His momma should always be that. ❤️

Marissa_Smiles · 2022-10-17T04:25:18+00:00

Is your concern that you being feminine and his primary caregiver, will somehow guide him to be feminine? If that is the concern; let me assure you that little boys come pretty hardwired. My son is sweet with me but is rough, always jumping, moving, throwing. Loves to wrestle with dad (I do not participate). Your job is to be mom. My favorite thing to do with my 4 year old is to snuggle while we read books or bake cookies. I think we are doing a good job. He is very sweet with his little sister and makes sure she’s out of the way when he’s playing “so she won’t get hurt”. My brothers all have a great relationship with my mom who is extremely feminine. She was our primary caregiver and homeschooled. Don’t think you can’t have a wonderful relationship with your child because he’s a boy. As soon as he is here you will feel a love like no other and all your doubts will be calmed. 💙

Waxflower8 · 2022-10-17T12:01:13+00:00

I’m not a mother so I’m not really qualified to give advice on raising children but watching my baby brother growing up and having the experience of caring for children and being around them, boys will start to be fully aware of the idea of “becoming a man” once they reach a certain age. When they’re little it’s fine for them to receive that soft feminine touch from their mother or sisters. Gives them a healthy perspective of women. He may be soft and sweet now (not saying he’ll stop being so) but eventually going to grow up and seek other men and boys for influence. He also has his dad around and trust me, kids observe way more than we actually think. They might not be able to fully process what it is exactly but they’re aware that something is going on.

My sister’s and I have always been sweet and feminine around and to him, never stopped him from being masculine and it’s helped him make friends with girls.

Rose_Tremiere · 2022-10-17T17:12:26+00:00

I'm raising a son who just turned three and while I'm not a SAHM I'm with him a lot of the time, more than my husband (I have more holidays than him since I'm a teacher so our boy stays with me during those). Don't worry, his boy interests will naturally pop up without you having to do anything! My boy and his cousin both expressed interested in cars and vehicules really early without any prompting on our part and even though they had a wide variety of toys to pick from at their nanny's house (including dolls). A majority of boys are just wired that way and every parent I've asked told me the same. Just follow your son's lead and you will nurture his masculinity just fine. Also accept (and this was difficult for me) that boys are less calm and more energetic and often difficult to handle than girls. This can be frustrating and exhausting but I'm very much looking forward to have him participate in sports than will allow him to play rough in a secure environment.

buppyu · 2022-10-17T18:42:32+00:00

Encourage the father to be a father and don't get in his way. One of the big things Dad's do is to teach children how to manage risk and hardships. This usually done through roughhouse play but it's also done by encouraging kids to push themselves a bit. This seems scary to some women but trust him. The boy might get a scrapped knee or two but that's important.

Remember, you're not raising a child. You're raising an adult. The goal is a healthy adult who can stand on his own in this world. That means slowly increasing his level of risk management (to a reasonable level) and responsibility.

It's like weight training. You slowly continue to raise the weight on the bar. By the time he's 18, he can handle the heavy load that will be put on his shoulders with grace and confidence.

somersaultinsand · 2022-10-17T20:52:10+00:00

One of my favorite shows is The Donna Reed Show. I don't get my "education" from television as a whole, but there are some older shows (like this one) that has given me a template about how to remain feminine while having a boy.

You can try and participate in his interests (when he shows it), but you don't need to have the knowledge or teach him how to get better. Let his father do that, like everyone else says.

Paulett4 · 2022-10-22T22:39:12+00:00

I'm a fresh mom to a boy and tbh never took such thing into consideration. The baby needs lots of nurture and love from you apart from other basic needs. That will not make him a weak man in the future. It helps him develop well. He's coming to the world that he doesn't know of after being comfy in your womb. Everything is going to be new for him and maybe scary. Remember he's just little.

LateralThinker13 · 2022-10-25T20:29:22+00:00

How to raise a boy while maintaining your femininity?

Honestly, usually the problem is women feminizing their boys and lack of masculine role models/parental figures. Retaining your femininity should be the last thing on your mind.

I have absolutely zero insight into typical boy interests

While many interests are at least partially gendered, there are none that are wholly gendered. Let your child experience everything; don't pre-plan their route, and they'll surprise you. For example, my two-year-old daughter has more fashion sense than my wife, yet also LOVES RC cars and is indifferent to dolls. You never know what they'll be into.

how I should even approach parenting in a way to nurture his masculinity.

That's his father's job. Your job is to mother him without smothering him. It's harder than you think.

my husband will be the one guiding him and will be his masculine role model and authority, but it makes me a little self conscious that I won’t know what I’m doing when I’m going to be the one with him most of the day.

As I said, just stay out of his way and show interest in whatever he does like, and he'll find the path that makes him happy.

Unonokt · 2022-10-27T00:24:36+00:00

You shouldnt ask women those questions because they think they know but they dont. Read some books or ask that in some male dominated self help subreddit or sth. I was raised by a single mother and it had terrible impact on my life

Title	How to raise a boy while maintaining your femininity?
Author	Ok_Obligation_6110
Upvotes	35
Comments	23
Date	October 16, 2022 12:48 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/y5g09s/how_to_raise_a_boy_while_maintaining_your/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-to-raise-a-boy-while-maintaining-your.1135401 https://theredarchive.com/post/1135401