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OncomingSlayerStorm Archive

View 12 posts and 152 comments by OncomingSlayerStorm on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

She will happily take the insurance money in leu of alimony if you're dead.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 08:02 AM
4

Do not leave the house. I know it feels like you would be helping the situation, but the situation is already far beyond where you think it is. The fact that you would take her back in a heartbeat is extremely common, and its the reason most of us left the house when they asked, to feed that possibility. It won't. But she won't hesitate to let you hold onto that hope to facilitate her getting absolutely everything she wants. Most of us have been there, and most of us read threads exactly like th…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 03:26 AM
2

She’s remarried and moved 5,000 miles away. I have access to their school stuff through an online portal. The kids share information about their personal lives with me. We have a great relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 01:49 PM
2

This! I haven't talked to my ex in 2 years and we have a 16 and a 13 year old. I have nothing to say to her and I don't care if she has anything to say to me.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 04:59 AM
2

You get used to it.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/25 09:33 AM
10

Don’t forgive. Don’t forget. Live well and know you’re better off.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 05:30 PM
5

I’m never getting married again. But I’ll do LTR and cohabitation. But marriage is archaic.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 01:30 PM
7

My ex married a guy she met 3 weeks earlier and moved with him and my kids to Hawaii. With the courts blessing. I wouldn’t introduce a partner to my kids for at least 6 months.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 02:18 PM
2

Had a lawyer. He was terrible. Never took my calls or emails. Never objected, never fought back their objections. What killed me was I didn’t live in the kids school zone. So no matter what, they were changing school districts. If that’s going to happen anyway, stick with mom cause that’s how the legal system works.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 07:01 PM
11

Got married to a guy she met a month prior, who lived in Hawaii, and then petitioned the court to relocate the kids to Hawaii. And won. I live in PA.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 01:08 PM
5

Personally, there is no amount of abuse, lies, cheating, or anything else that my ex wife could do to me that would overshadow being able to see my kids every single day. I’m probably not the best person to be answering though.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 03:27 PM
2

So I think I have come up with a plan. I sell BMWs as a living. I spoke with the Gm of the Honolulu BMW dealership, but have not heard back. From my understanding, they usually don’t hire from off the island as those people tend to leave quickly due to cost of living. So my plan is sell a shit load of cars between now and August. Save every penny I can. Get an apartment on the island, spend the first few weeks/months living that grinding lifestyle (door dash etc) and keep applying for full time …
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 02:51 PM
1

Thank you so much.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 07:28 PM
1

They are who they are and always will be. I talk to them. I don’t rely on them.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 03:56 PM
0

I swear to you I’ve tried everything to get there. I can’t even scrape together money for a flight to go see them.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 12:29 AM
2

I had them during summer break. She moved during that time and sold her house. When the judge found out, she was furious, but still ruled the way she did.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 09:46 PM
1

Thank you, my friend.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 08:57 PM
2

Mine pays for most things to help me get out of debt. I’m very lucky.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 07:21 PM
2

My guy, I’m not arguing with you. People go many different ways in this. That’s not my path. I want to fix my problem. Not cope with it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 06:50 PM
2

I’m at work. I can’t be reading books right now. I just did the one thing you mentioned I could do on my computer.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 06:49 PM
3

I’m not a statistic, despite every fiber of my being believing I should be. So pretty good.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 06:47 PM
2

I have 5 therapy sessions per week. My problem isn’t learning how to cope with the situation. It’s finding a way to fix the situation.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 06:38 PM
2

I just went to the YouTube channel you mentioned Rian Stone, and it was the first thing it said.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 06:35 PM
4

The girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years. I’ve been divorced 5. Everything was fine until my ex met this guy, married him within a month, and moved to Hawaii. My gf isn’t the problem.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 06:34 PM
3

They are there for 3 years. 2 now. He’s going to be deployed somewhere else in 2026. Taking years to get there would be pointless.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 06:32 PM
1

Yeah, thank you but I’m not on the red pill train. I don’t hate women. I hate my ex wife. But she isn’t all women.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 06:29 PM
2

Honestly, I have absolutely no clue. I hoped the community would have some suggestions for me to build off of.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 05:27 PM
6

That does give me some consolation. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 05:24 PM
5

I mean, I’m working 90+ hours a week. I am drowning in debt from lawyer fees from the hearing trying to prevent them from moving. I applied at the exact same brand dealership in Hawaii that I am currently working at, even got the GM on the phone. They simply won’t hire from off island. The cost of living is so high that everyone they’ve ever hired off island has gone broke and left in 6 months or less. I’m happy to hear suggestions. I live in my gf house, and I don’t fancy moving in with my pare…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 04:51 PM
4

The worst is the guilt I feel, everytime I make them get on a long ass two plane rides to see me. I feel like such a burden to them.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 04:30 PM
1

There’s multiple factors. The only one the judge specifically said at the decision hearing was about the relationship. My best guess is that when the kids (15 and 12) went into judges chambers for their testimony, they both said they wanted to live in Hawaii very badly. I’m thinking the judge did not mention this to spare my feelings.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 01:57 PM
8

This. If God exists, if he doesn’t bother with kids with leukemia, he sure af doesn’t care about our broken hearts. Edit: or that a man with an abusive history and an alcohol problem gets to spend 80% of the year with my kids and I only get 20%.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 05:16 PM
1

It’s not part of the decree. It’s an agreement
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 08:19 PM
2

The court didn’t decide. We agreed on it so my monthly would be 1100 instead of 1400
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 07:18 PM
2

I 100 % agree that is the current system. Why can we not change that system?
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 07:15 PM
1

Who’s to say who did. Once I send the child support, it all get mixed in with her money.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 07:13 PM
5

Oh, yeah. Definitely. We’ve been lied to our entire lives about who women are. I’m personally never getting married again. There is zero benefit to men.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 02:14 PM
3

You’re not wrong, but some people can’t just let it go. OP, there’s no right or wrong time to start to feel normal. She’s gone and the person she pretended to be for 8 years is dead. Try looking at it that way. Your wife is dead and now you have to deal with this stranger.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 01:38 PM
1

I concur, I’m all about building up. I was attempting a respectful disagreement.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 02:37 PM
2

I gotta disagree with you. Kids need their dads. They need to see them in the audience of their band concerts. They need to hear them cheering at their baseball games. They need to introduce their first dates to them. They need him to run to when mom is crazy. All things you can’t do when you’re a plane ride away. You became a dad. Finish what you started. You can go be your best self when they’re adults.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 01:29 PM
1

I had a lawyer. He was not very good. We have shared legal custody. Anytime the kids have more than 4 days off in a row from school, they come to me. The last visit, they left on Friday night. Arrived here Saturday 11am. Then left 7am on Tuesday. They spent almost as much time in the air as they did here. I felt terrible that they had to do that, but if I ever say it’s ok for them not to come, she will use that as evidence that I don’t want to be with the kids. I get them for Christmas. The have…
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 09:27 PM
2

There is nothing specific in the custody agreement saying she has residential custody. It just says her petition to relocate the children to Hawaii is granted. That’s specific to Hawaii. She will not be able to relocate them again without my permission or going through the court system again.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 09:17 PM
1

This
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 08:54 PM
1

The kids moved in September. I’ve been in hell not being able to go to their concerts or plays. Only getting a handful of visits per year. No matter how miserable my life would be in Hawaii, it’s worse without them.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 08:53 PM
2

But would a court allow her to relocate the children away from their schools, for the second time in 2 years, when I moved there to be with them?
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 08:49 PM
3

Yeah. I’m sorry. I know it’s hard. Hawaii is nice, but incredibly expensive. I have to have my dog go through special vaccinations and a waiting period just to get her on the island.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 06:34 PM
3

My ex wife just married a guy and moved my kids 5000 miles away. I get to see them a couple times a year. I’d recommend avoiding divorce if at all possible.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/23 10:13 PM
6

What else am I supposed to do? It’s where my kids are. My children. They were taken there. I fought and fought and went broke fighting in court. I lost. But I need to be with my kids. I can’t live with just seeing them twice a year for my custody. I just cant.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 04:50 PM
2

I wouldn’t bet against that, but I’m not going to make decisions based on what could happen. I’m making them on what has happened. Hopes don’t get me my kids back.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 04:18 PM
3

I wish I had the time for that. My oldest is 15. I’m missing so much. I don’t want his stepfather teaching him to drive or teaching him how to date. I want to be there for all of that. My life isn’t going to be in order until I’m back with my kids.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 03:09 PM
5

This^ . Also, do not move out. No matter what. It will help with custody. File for divorce and custody before she does. And don’t skimp on the lawyer. Find the best one.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 01:55 PM
1

You and me both.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 02:29 PM
1

The part that pisses me off was it could have been a fight about keeping the status quo. The judge did not have to allow the kids to move at all. She could have kept them in their current situation. Then either she could not move to Hawaii, which is the normal result in a case like this, or I would have moved to their school district. She rented out her townhouse. I would have rented it from her and made that clear to the judge. The kids lives wouldn’t have had to change at all, just a different…
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 02:27 PM
1

I wish I could. They live 5000 miles away.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 02:21 PM
3

She doesn’t work. She married a soldier and moved to Hawaii. The court said the kids could go with her.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 01:59 AM
5

She married a soldier and moved the kids to Hawaii. I only get them a few weeks a year. I want them back.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 01:58 AM
3

I’m not. That’s why I specifically ruled out that option. I just didn’t want to get a bunch of answers about outside the law options.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 12:45 AM
0

Not sure what to tell you, fella. I hired the cheapest attorney and got what I paid for. Yes. They interviewed the kids. The kids wanted to go to Hawaii. It’s warm. They are kids. They have no concept of long term consequences or that mommy could be manipulating them.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/23 07:55 PM
8

I was in the same emotional position even 4 or 5 years after separation. I finally realized I wasn’t healing because I didn’t want to heal. If I let myself heal, it meant my family was really gone. As long as I held onto the pain, there was still a chance that I could fix my family. I finally pushed through when I took a good look at her life after her affair and our separation. Every choice she made was baffling. I grew to hate her. That’s what I needed to do. I still believe that divorce is th…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 02:14 PM
2

I’ve never met her new husband. He’s never introduced himself to me or even given me a call to reassure me that my kids are in safe company. I did, however, find his ex wife on fb. I just wanted to know what type of person would be fine separating a father from his children by 5000 miles. I approached her very humbly and told her the situation and I just wanted to know more about Chris. She told me that he’s a narcissist, alcoholic, and abusive. He wanted to get a dog while they were married and…
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 04:25 PM
3

Yes. She will stay married to an abuser to spite me. I’m staying alive to spite her. It’s a stalemate.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 04:18 PM
2

I know you’re speaking truth and I appreciate it. But, honestly, the thought of missing the rest of their childhood makes me want to die.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 04:17 PM
2

I’m afraid all my protesting is going to cause her to dig in her heals just to prove she was right. I’m hoping he gives her the boot.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 03:09 PM
1

I did file a contempt of court. Haven’t heard back yet.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 10:39 PM
1

I fought like hell to stay there, but I had to move for work or lose my job. Had I known our separation was permanent, I would have quit and found new work.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 09:37 PM
1

That sounds far worse than my situation. She would, without doubt, just keep the kids and do exactly that. I’d never see them again.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 09:36 PM
0

I’d move there in a second if I could afford it. Unfortunately my gf would not, all of her family is here and she’s the only member of her father’s family still alive, so she won’t leave him. It would be devastating to me, but I would always choose my children first.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 09:13 PM
2

I tried. Even got hired at a great job in Hawaii. But I could not find anywhere to live. And I didn’t have nearly enough money to have all of my belongings moved there. It would have cost me 20k to make the move. I’m so far behind from all the lawyer fees that my bank account is currently at $6.87.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 07:57 PM
2

I’m extremely familiar with the custody laws in Pennsylvania. If I do not return the children on time, she has every right to call the police and the police would come and take them back to her. That would kill any chance I have in any future litigation. I have the same right, if she doesn’t send them when she’s supposed to, I can call the police and they will retrieve them for me and she will lose custody, at least temporarily until a hearing.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 07:51 PM
3

It’s expensive and only 50% successful within 5 years of the initial procedure. I missed my window.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 07:49 PM
1

They were in her house a majority of the time.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 07:48 PM
2

I’m familiar with her.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 07:48 PM
5

That would be an amazing dream come true.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 07:47 PM
1

I get it, but the schedule very much changed. Even if I got every trip I was getting, which I’m not, it deletes all of the trips I was making to them. Just going out for a football game, or play or concert. I can’t fly out to Hawaii for anything. It’s two days of traveling each way.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 06:40 PM
1

My dude, that’s kidnapping. I’d be in jail.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 06:31 PM
1

My ex wife decided to bring up, during the trial, the fact that I was trying to get back together with her during the early months of my relationship with my girlfriend. Her lawyer advised her to use that to try to get my girlfriend to react to it. I live with my girlfriend, and the point they were making is if she kicks me out, the kids and I would have no where to live. My girlfriend knows all about my communication with my ex. I had been trying to get back together for one reason. I wanted to…
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 05:59 PM
4

I see a psychiatrist monthly and a therapist weekly.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 05:56 PM
7

Not hell bent on marriage. The only joy I have ever known in life has been being a dad to my kids. And she’s taken that away from me.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 05:44 PM
2

You nailed it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 05:41 PM
1

I had them one weekend a month. All through Christmas and thanksgiving breaks. And all summer.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 05:17 PM
2

I am allowed to call them all I want. The time difference makes it extremely difficult. They get home from school the same time I go to bed.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 05:14 PM
4

I love this thought and love your cadence, sir. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 05:09 PM
1

I was only getting them once a month because I had to move a couple hours away for work. That’s the only thing I’m leaving out because people always jump up and say I abandoned them. I didn’t. I went and visited them. I went to games and plays. I just didn’t live in the same zip code. So if the kids stayed, they’d move in with me and be in a different school district anyway. I did tell them that I would move back and get a different job if they stayed, but that didn’t seem to matter.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 05:01 PM
8

I would have thought it would be over by now. At this point, she paid her lawyer so much and fought so hard she would do whatever it took to keep that marriage going to save face. Even if they hated each other. Also, she got his name tattooed on her. She’s 43 and it’s her very first tattoo ever. It’s a guys name that she met a month before marrying. A couple weeks before getting the tattoo. She’s lost her fucking mind.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 04:55 PM
1

Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 04:53 PM
1

That’s what I thought too. A huge mistake I made while doing this was hiring the least expensive lawyer I could find. I figured that no judge would send the kids that far away from their father, so I just needed a lawyer to make sure no shenanigans were going on. I should have hired a much much better lawyer. I could never get ahold of him. I would send him very lengthy emails with things he should say, but he either never read them or forgot. He never brought up any of those points. He would on…
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 04:52 PM
2

My ex wife decided to bring up, during the trial, the fact that I was trying to get back together with her during the early months of my relationship with my girlfriend. Her lawyer advised her to use that to try to get my girlfriend to react to it. I live with my girlfriend, and the point they were making is if she kicks me out, the kids and I would have no where to live. My girlfriend knows all about my communication with my ex. I had been trying to get back together for one reason. I wanted to…
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 04:48 PM
2

Correct. And the judge in Pa can deny it. But this judge seems to be very happy to do whatever my Ex wants her to do, so my confidence isn’t very high in winning that.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 04:37 PM
2

The lawyers I’ve spoken to say differently. She has primary custody. They live in Hawaii. The only stipulation is they have to live there for 6 months before she can file.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 04:29 PM
2

So he’ll be 12 in less than a month.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 04:26 PM
3

He was born December 11 2011. I had my vasectomy in October 2011 once we were sure he was going to be a full term pregnancy.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 04:25 PM
2

Believe me. I’m leaving no stone unturned in my search for a way to right this. There just isn’t. The system is set up to limit petty litigation for custody. So basically the decision is final unless something drastically changes. I don’t live in Florida and don’t have Ron DeSantis’ phone number.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 04:24 PM
1

I asked about that. I’m told that it’s up to the original judge. She can deny a change in jurisdiction if she chooses. My biggest fear is my ex filing for jurisdiction to be in Hawaii. I’ll never stand a chance if that happens.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 04:15 PM
1

And when the kids complain about flying 18 hours each way for a 3 day trip for thanksgiving, I’m 100% sure she is going to say that she tried to cancel it, but dad said no. Blame him. But they’ll never tell me. They protect her. She has them convinced that she needs them and would die without them, so they are guilted into never telling me if there is a problem, because I would take them away from her.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 04:12 PM
5

Yes. The kids wanted to move to Hawaii. She had been filing their heads with it. She told my 15yo son that it’s nothing but girls in bikinis year round. So when the judge asked them, of course they said they would prefer a tropical paradise island over the cold and miserable mountains of Pennsylvania.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 04:09 PM
6

Thank you. There is no history of Dv or abuse on either side. In the end, I really think it came down to the judge being very pro mother, plus extremely pro military. She even thanked him for his service while he was testifying over zoom. I talked to three lawyers. All said appeals in custody cases are a waste of time and a lot of money. They are never overturned without evidence of danger to the children. I sent my story to all of the local media. None of them picked it up.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 04:07 PM
2

A higher court won’t overturn a judges ruling just because I really want them to. I’d need to prove they are in danger. I can’t. But thank you. We will be doing a lot of fun while they’re here.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 03:58 PM
8

And Hawaii has all these special laws about pets. You have to get them specific shots and spread them out over 6 months before they will allow them into the state. My 11yo had just gotten a cat for Christmas. He has severe adhd and a few learning disabilities. He loved that cat. His iPad is full of pictures of nothing but that cat. My ex wife gave away his cat over the summer while he was with me. Mislead him to think it was temporary. When she finally told him it was permanent, he cried so so m…
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 03:57 PM
7

Did I mention that right after the judge made the ruling, she had them on a flight the very next morning. Kids didn’t get to say goodbye to their school friends, I didn’t get to see them before they left. She just booked the flight and ran. Probably afraid I would file something. I wish I knew what she was afraid I’d file. I’d like to file it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 03:53 PM
3

Tried all of that. Custody is at a judges discretion. You can’t get a do-over. I talked to a few more lawyers and they said an appeal is very expensive, and I’m still digging out of the massive hole the first hearing cost me. They also said that appeals on custody or relocation are almost never overturned unless something drastic changes, such as evidence of abuse. Which I don’t have.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 03:50 PM
10

Honestly, all I ever wanted to be was a dad. I it was the most important thing to me in my life. She talked me into a vasectomy in 2011, so I can’t even start over with a new family. This is it. This is my life.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 03:46 PM
6

I think her lawyer donated to the judges campaign. Small towns are like that. I have no doubt they will move back, but my oldest is 15. I only have a couple more years before he goes off to college and I’m missing all of the important life things. Starting dating, driving, teaching him how to shave. Some guy that they don’t know and I don’t know will be doing all of that.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 03:43 PM
3

I tried to introduce the evidence about her past boyfriends to establish a pattern of terrible romantic decisions, but the judge immediately shut that down. She said to keep it about this relationship only.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 03:41 PM
12

I’m pretty sure the judge was friends with my ex’s lawyer, or maybe he donated to her campaign. Every objection he made was sustained, and my lawyer couldn’t get a single objection accepted.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 03:38 PM
5

Female.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 03:37 PM
3

I did talk to another lawyer. They said that an appeal would probably cost me about 10k and the ruling is based on the judges opinion of what’s best for the kids and that is almost never overuled. All I can do is wait a year and file for custody, which after a year of not having regular contact, is probably going to be denied. My only choice is to move to Hawaii, but again that’s far too expensive. I set up a gofundme, but that didn’t get a ton of donations.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 03:36 PM
2

That’s a great idea, and we do play Fortnite together, but with the time difference, it’s late at night here when they get home from school. And being in different server regions, I have a ton of lag playing on their server.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 03:33 PM
15

They met over a weekend in January while he was in town visiting family. That’s how they met on bumble or whatever app she was using at the time. So they had a total of 10 hours with him before they got married.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 03:32 PM
28

So to conclude, a judge in Monroe County, PA felt that my 3 year relationship with no problems was less stable than the one where they got married one month after meeting so that he could get better housing and she could live in Hawaii.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 02:50 PM
1

I’d rather have them all back with me. But I’m a fool too. She’s 42. He’s 37. He’s just an idiot either way. I can’t wait to destroy them in court and have his sorry ass have to pay me child support for kids he never gets to see because she’s not gonna be working.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 11:56 PM
2

The one thing I’m positive of is they met in January. She broke up with her previous boyfriend then found this a couple months later. I have the timeline down. And luckily I have boys. Not that there’s no predators for boys, but less. I think this guy is more looking for benefits of family, such as sex with my wife and higher pay and better tax returns.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 11:49 PM
1

Everything that effects my children matters to me.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 09:48 PM
1

I care because my ex wife’s life as well as my children’s lives at some point will be in his hands. That’s why I need to understand him. Already did a background check. Came back clean. She refused the mental evaluation.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 09:48 PM
1

It’s about respecting the kids and their relationship with their father. I’ve dated single mothers before. I reached out the child’s father. Just a quick fb that he was free to decline if he wanted. I hate drama. Also, I don’t want to find out in 6 months that this guy is still hung up on her and she leaves me for him. It’s better all around to know all the players in the game.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 07:28 PM
1

I am well aware that she is first and foremost to blame. Again. To me, the psychology is interesting. I would never do this to another man. No matter what the woman was saying, I’d reach out. Introduce myself. Say hey, it looks like I’m going to be sharing some of your responsibilities as a father, how would you like me to go about that? Just to feel him out. If I sensed that the guy wanted to have his family together, I step the fuck away. That’s just me. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been …
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 07:06 PM
1

Yeah. Ideally. But I was so broken hearted and so convinced everything was temporary, I let her have whatever she wanted. As a show of good faith in reconciliation. Won’t be doing that this time.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 06:14 PM
5

You’re not wrong. I’m really just looking at the psychology of this person. Is he another bad Apple that she found or is her taste at least improving? I’m pretty confident about getting custody.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 05:04 PM
2

We were married just find for 13 years. Seems like she became the wrong person long after I did my productive nutting.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 03:47 PM
1

I really hope so. But keep in mind how she told me. She dropped all of it on me at once. She got married, is moving the kids, to Hawaii, and I’d get them for short periods twice a year. I went through some heavy emotional shit. I texted her a lot and she never responded. I never said anything derogatory, just questions about how this happened, why would she think this is ok, just coke back and be with me….etc. She filed them all as evidence. My lawyer got them thrown out. But still. She’s being …
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 03:10 PM
1

I agree, but my concern is my oldest is 14. My ex has him thinking about all the year round girls in bikinis. So if the court asks for the kids opinion, and gives a lot of weight to it because of their ages, she’s gonna win.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 03:00 PM
1

Did I mention that she expects me to go without seeing the kids for 4 months straight, then have them for 3 weeks, then go 6 months? It’s not like I can visit them on an army base in Hawaii. That’s not financially realistic at all.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 02:55 PM
2

She needs to modify the court order to relocate. If I agree, it’s as simple as signing a piece of paper. Obviously I don’t agree, so it’s going to be a long drawn out process. Most likely I will win and/or they will be divorced before it’s all over anyway. Even if she divorced this guy tomorrow, I would still go for primary custody. She is bouncing around and dramatically fucking up those kids. Imagine getting married, over zoom, while your kids are at their dads? To a guy they met once. And she…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 02:53 PM
3

Completely agree. Once women hit 38, all the sugar and spice shit goes out the window and it becomes nothing but what is exactly what they want. Better hope that’s you or she’ll take everything you’ve got, including your faith in humanity.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 02:49 PM
1

Except she’s got the kids begging me to let them live in Hawaii. They have no real clue what they’re asking for. She just has them trained.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 02:48 PM
1

Figured there was gonna be at least one guy replying as if we have no moral obligations to fellow human beings. Just our own wants.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 02:47 PM
2

I care. A selfish asshole is a much bigger threat to my kids than a guy being manipulated by my ex.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 01:50 PM
5

“Or he could be playing your ex” I wouldn’t rule that out. He just got divorced in December. He was about to be moved into the barracks until he got married, when they then give him a house. And higher pay.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 12:37 PM
3

She’s also technically in contempt of the original court order. It said neither party May talk to the children about any possible changes in visitation or location until it’s agreed on by both parties or the court rules in either direction. Yet she’s been telling them for months about how much better Hawaii is than Pennsylvania and about all these things they’ll get to do. And also, don’t tell daddy about it and if he brings it up, tell him the topic makes you uncomfortable. Because if you tell …
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 12:35 PM
4

On the plus side, my lawyer says we can draw this out for 12 months. There’s no way their long distance marriage lasts that long.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 12:30 PM
2

I have a lawyer. I hired a lawyer immediately. He’s handling it well. I’m more interested in the psychology of this “husband”. I would never do this to kids or another man. Am I different than most men or is he. That’s really why I’m asking.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 12:20 PM
2

The modification to the court order she filed in February. He gets paid more if he has dependents. He doesn’t have kids of his own.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 12:19 PM
1

Update: both my kids have told my mother that they want to go to Hawaii. I’m really afraid that both kids in the courtroom asking to go is going to sway the judge. But she is in contempt. Neither of them should even know about Hawaii. Neither party is allowed to talk to the children about any change in custody o r schedule until the decision is agreed on or ruled on in court. Not sure how much difference it will make though. Im just so tired of crying myself to sleep. Kids grow so much in 6 mont…
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/23 10:25 AM
2

Attorney is well on top of everything and has already filed several things. Just waiting on a court date.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 10:10 PM
1

Actually, she won’t be working. He promised she wouldn’t have to work. So I am really looking forward to the conversation where he has to pay child support to the father of her children when he just met her.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 10:09 PM
2

He just got divorced in December. I’m pretty sure he just didn’t want to move back into the barracks. So he’s fucking up my life to be slightly more comfortable.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 09:11 PM
1

If you’d like, I can get you his name via DM.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 09:10 PM
3

I have no doubt the marriage won’t last. It’s her third and they’ve spent a grand total of 11 days in each others presence. Honestly, I’m hoping I win primary custody and when he finds out he has to pay child support to me (she does not work) he’ll be gone.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 06:05 PM
1

I live 5 hours away. With my divorce went my income and housing so I had to move in with family. That was 6 years ago. I’m finally stable enough to move back and was in the process before she dropped this bomb on me.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 03:37 PM
4

When I found out that my ex had left me for one of my best friends, the first thing I did, and the hardest thing, was go to the pawn shop and sold my gun. I knew the longer it was there for me, the more tempting it would get. I was older than you are. It’s taken me 5 years, but I’m in a far better place. Things get better. But only if you stick around to see them get better. If you check out now, this failure is all you will ever be and all you will be remembered for. Be better than that. Becaus…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/22 09:37 PM
2

Keep going, my man. This gives the rest of us hope.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/20 03:08 PM
2

The problem with that is that as soon as I come into contact with a new household, it resets the clock back to two weeks.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/20 09:20 PM
8

Thank you. Yes that’s very motivational. I’m actually in online school right now for certification in a career that I already have a job offer for, pending passing the certification. In all honesty, the quarantine has been very beneficial to me getting this education completed months before I would have. Once the quarantine is lifted, I’ll have more work than I could possibly need and have a ton of income right out the door, so moving out will be a piece of cake.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/20 06:15 PM
2

I thought Of that, but it’s far beyond my financial resources at the moment with the economy ground to a halt.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/20 05:43 PM
1

It’s a fair observation. Personally I like to believe I would be fighting just as hard for my kids regardless of gender.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/19 10:03 PM
1

That’s why you need to do something like gives you access to him without her having to give it to you.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/19 12:56 AM
5

I FaceTime at least once a day. My advice would be to buy him a phone. Make it just for talking to dad. Even an iPod touch would work.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/19 06:19 AM
1

That’s the point. These are my kids. There is nothing more important to me. The fact that some strangers are going to decide what’s “best for” my kids absolutely disgusts me. But these are the people that are going to make the decision, so yes, I care what they think of me.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/19 12:01 AM
1

I found thus artical that’s making me think I need to bring it up. https://i.imgur.com/jh6ijSS.jpg
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/19 10:18 PM
1

From what I’ve been told, they won’t ask the kids because of their ages. Otherwise I already know they would say they want to go with me. But it would mean changing schools, which I’ve heard is another big factor for the courts.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/19 07:48 PM
1

He does not “live” with her, but the kids tell me that he and his son spend the night quite often.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/19 07:47 PM
1

Unfortunately postponing isn’t an option and the same financial circumstances that are forcing this move completely prevent me from affording a lawyer. I know she doesn’t have a lawyer either. I just don’t know how I could use the boyfriend information without the court looking at me as if I’m just a jealous ex. That could backfire on me very badly.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/19 05:00 PM
1

My ex would never give me the time of day during our first separation until she saw that I was trying to move on. I say go for it. Best case scenario, it shows your ex that you are worth having, worst case you find something new to focus on and start to feel better about yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/19 04:17 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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