So if anyone has been following my tale of woe, I just wanted to update you. Nothing has changed on the custody front. My kids have been given to another man who is afraid to even meet me or call me on the phone. He gets to raise them. I see them a few times a year. He married my ex wife after knowing her for 1 month. They moved 5000 miles away with the blessing of the wonderful people in the family court system.

Currently I am seeing 3 different therapists, two different psychiatrists, and I have intense outpatient therapy for 3 hours 3 days a week. I do have fmla from all of this.

I can’t move to Hawaii. I can’t even afford to take a trip to Hawaii. I started door dashing on top of my 53 hour car sales work week to try to find a way to go see them. My girlfriend is getting more and more distant as I withdraw further and further inside myself. Hiding from the world how I’m feeling. They understood at first, but nearly a year later, they probably think I should be over it. My family stopped calling because all I ever wanted to talk about was getting my kids back. They answer the phone and occasionally my texts, but they keep the conversations short.

I’m just so sick of people saying that what happened is so incredibly wrong, but there’s nothing that can be done about it.

Every morning I wake up and ask myself the same question. How much longer do I have to endure this?