| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 26 | Was your judge fair? | moveonplease45 | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/12/23 01:27 PM | |
| 24 | Did They Accuse You of Any of These? | moveonplease45 | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/01/24 12:41 AM | |
| 24 | She’s Saying I Make 5X More Than I do! | moveonplease45 | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/01/24 06:13 PM | |
| 16 | Anyone’s Narc XW Go Totally Crazy? | moveonplease45 | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/02/24 01:04 AM | |
| 14 | How did you handle getting dragged through the mud? | moveonplease45 | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/12/23 05:39 PM | |
| 13 | How did you deal with false accusations | moveonplease45 | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/12/23 09:37 PM | |
| 12 | Handling False Narratives | Court | moveonplease45 | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/05/24 02:48 PM |
| 8 | Temporary Proposal & Nonsense Games | moveonplease45 | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/24 11:32 PM | |
| 3 | False financials - abusing legal system | moveonplease45 | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/02/24 01:03 PM | |
| 2 | Advice Needed - threatening to not follow court orders | moveonplease45 | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/02/24 12:31 AM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | No one prepares you for the sheer volume of discovery in a high conflict divorce.My Ex did that to almost every question we asked in discovery, no matter how legitimate or specific it was. We had to file a motion to compel. Because if I forgot to cross a T her attorney would claim I was being obstructive in discovery - meanwhile I provided almost 4,000 pages of documents and answered every question as reasonably as I could. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/06/24 03:12 PM |
| 8 | What is the worst thing your ex ever did to you?Holy shit | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/03/24 04:53 PM |
| 3 | What is the worst thing your ex ever did to you?That’s fucked | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/03/24 04:52 PM |
| 1 | PettyWow. How long did your divorce last? Did they make up lies about finances and everything else to try to make the situation look totally different than it was? How’d you keep your head on straight through it all? (In the middle of a similar situation) | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/24 01:57 AM |
| 2 | PettyDealing with this as we speak. She’s a puppet for bigger narcissists than herself. It’s ironic. And absolutely mindbendingly frustrating — they will twist whatever grain of truth they have to fit their narrative, and if they don’t like what they hear will literally make up lies about anything and everything. Insane. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/24 01:55 AM |
| 3 | For those who divorced an NPD/BPD woman with children-were you made to feel as though greyrocking was a form of abuse and bad for the kids?Fucking hell. Do we have the same x wife? | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/03/24 04:07 AM |
| 1 | Advice Needed - threatening to not follow court ordersI think that’s what I’m going to do. Thanks | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/02/24 05:05 AM |
| 8 | Hearing about AP from daughterRead the book “Divorce Poison” It’s about what to say/not say to your kids when your ex alienates you — which is what she’s subtly doing by comparing you to her bf in front of your 9 year old kid. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/02/24 12:44 PM |
| 1 | Is giving up custody my only option?They don’t care who pays. As long as someone is paying! Now, it doesn’t mean you’ll be granted the motion, but you absolutely should plead to the court that the other side is using their financial leverage and abusing the court and in doing so should pay for both parties legal fees. Why not at least try? What’s the worst that will happen? Judge says no? | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/24 02:08 AM |
| 2 | Is giving up custody my only option?Petition the court to have her pay for your legal fees. File a motion to show that her lawyer is using the system to rack up unsustainable bills, and that it’s detrimental to your current financial position and therefore she should have to pay for your legal fees as well. No guarantee the judge will accept it, but if you have a good attorney and it’s obvious she’s abusing the system it’s a potential move. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/24 12:23 AM |
| 8 | Therapist said something that truly struck home todayThe minute she petitioned the court to take my dog. Any shred of love or even like was gone. I have absolutely zero respect for that loser. I’m still fighting to get my dog back - but the silver lining is that she did me a favor by forcing me to see the person she really is instead of the person I hoped she was. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/02/24 11:56 PM |
| 4 | UpdateFuck this, dude! Find a way to get to HI. Forget everyone who doesn’t want to hear about you getting your kids back. Make this your comeback story. I know it feel impossible. I know it feels insurmountable. Yes, your ex is a POS and her husband total sum. So get out there. Do the math. Add up what you need for a one way ticket. Drop the therapists if you need to. Sell the whole neighborhood a new car. Tell them your story. Screw the ego. “Hey m’am, I’d appreciate it if you purchased a new car fr… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/02/24 06:42 PM |
| 22 | She's not stupid. She's not powerless. She's evil.Ah yes. I’ve been through all the stages of psychotic soon to be x-wife syndrome. Here’s the stages: she might be tough but she will be reasonable to get this over with so she can move on wasn’t expecting that! But I’ll just be nice and she’ll be reasonable wow. Ok that was a bit unexpected. I’ll just give her something she wants and she’ll calm down WTF is this? I mean this is kind of crazy. But there’s no way she will do THAT… W THE ACTUAL F!?? She did THAT!?? I can’t believe it. This is crazy… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/02/24 11:22 PM |
| 1 | Anyone’s Narc XW Go Totally Crazy?No | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/02/24 12:34 PM |
| 1 | Anyone’s Narc XW Go Totally Crazy?I did that and the judge disallowed it and advised neither of us to do it. We’re in a two party consent state unfortunately. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/02/24 02:30 AM |
| 3 | Anyone’s Narc XW Go Totally Crazy?Yeah. I have been for months. But then she twists stuff to this extent and gets under my skin and I slipped. Ive been really good about it but how do you never react when she’s trying every minute of every day to push you? | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/02/24 02:08 AM |
| 3 | Did anyone see any warning signs from in-laws that were ignored?Yup. Her parents were nice but then they’d argue about weird irrelevant stuff. Her dad always had to be the center of attention and the smartest guy in the room. My stbxw had a weird relationship with them, constantly praising them then in the same sentence being pissed at them. Strange relationship with money. They talked shit about everyone behind their backs. Complained a ton. But then were super nice to me so I ignored all of it. Her brother is a class-a douchbag which also should have woken… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/02/24 12:04 AM |
| 5 | Uno Reverse CardSounds similar to my situation. One weird example, is if I do something or say something w my daughter that she really enjoys — all of a sudden my stbxw is mirroring it exactly the next week. It’s so bizarre. But now I realize that she is just a good actress playing a role since day 1. She’s not real. Has no depth. No soul. And just takes anything from everyone around her no matter how big or how insignificant. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/01/24 08:50 PM |
| 4 | Hard time getting good sleepI’ve got the same issue. Nothing really works. The only thing that does is when my mind/body become so exhausted I finally get a full nights sleep. I’m struggling to find time right now to add in any significant exercise — however, a couple times I was able to work out cardio to where I was tanked and I got decent sleep because of that. Judge ordered a temp order and i have to find a place, with access to little money in a garbage rental market — so that’s added a ton of stress. And hence my sle… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/01/24 08:37 PM |
| 21 | Men who took the first actionI filed first. It gave some leveraged initially. Not sure it matters now that we’re 7 months into divorce. But if I had to go back and do it again, I’d still file first. Except I’d have filed a decade earlier. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/01/24 08:29 PM |
| 10 | Uno Reverse CardMine had full out lied about every aspect of our relationship, our divorce, our finances and anything else you can conceive of. She’s projected onto me every negative thing she’s ever done. It’s all my fault. She’s a victim on social media. To every mutual friend. To strangers. To the court. It’s insane. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/01/24 08:28 PM |
| 3 | What are some signs you saw in the beginning but ignored that later contributed to the reason to your divorceUgh. She pulling out all the stops to try and “destroy” you during divorce like mine? | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/01/24 11:31 AM |
| 22 | What are some signs you saw in the beginning but ignored that later contributed to the reason to your divorceConstant need for attention. From everyone. Texting me throughout the day, every day. Dozens of times per day. I actually wondered how she had the time. Talking shit about people she said we’re friends when they weren’t there. Then hanging out with them and acting nice to their face. Getting extremely stressed out over relatively small issues at work or things outside of her control. Getting extremely angry at her family constantly. Complaining about anything and anyone all the time. Blaming oth… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/01/24 08:18 PM |
| 18 | I can't stand my stbxwYup. You gotta realize the person you thought you were marrying didn’t exist. She was playing a role - an actress. The person you see now is who she always has been. 8 years for me! Except I filed first. It’s freeking tough. Lots of emotions. But use that fire to do something positive. Make up for lost time. You can have a MUCH better life without her. Do things right for yourself from this point forward. I’m in the middle of a super high conflict divorce right now. She’s making false allegation… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/01/24 11:12 PM |
| 4 | Did They Accuse You of Any of These?Truth right there! | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/01/24 03:33 AM |
| 4 | Did They Accuse You of Any of These?Did she say that to the judge? | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/01/24 03:30 AM |
| 6 | Did They Accuse You of Any of These?I heard that verbatim | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/01/24 03:29 AM |
| 5 | Did They Accuse You of Any of These?Holy crap man. I’m sorry you had to deal with that level of insanity | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/01/24 02:37 AM |
| 4 | Did They Accuse You of Any of These?It’s unbelievable how many of us share similar stories. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/01/24 02:36 AM |
| 6 | Did They Accuse You of Any of These?Keep going! Good luck man! | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/01/24 01:34 AM |
| 4 | Did They Accuse You of Any of These?I’m waiting for those to get thrown at the judge soon for sure | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/01/24 01:34 AM |
| 3 | Did They Accuse You of Any of These?Oh man! | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/01/24 01:33 AM |
| 1 | She’s Saying I Make 5X More Than I do!I hope the judge sees it similarly in my case. We have a lot of facts. She has a lot of accusations. 6 months in so far. Still zero resolved. Hoping it starts to get going in my favor soon. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/01/24 12:09 AM |
| 2 | She’s Saying I Make 5X More Than I do!Every time I feel shocked by this stuff I have to remind myself that whatever is the most ridiculous scenario is also the most probable | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/01/24 05:52 PM |
| 7 | She’s Saying I Make 5X More Than I do!Yeah we had to disclose 3 years of tax returns and 2 years of literally everything else. They are still fabricating an insane narrative. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/01/24 11:59 PM |
| 8 | She’s Saying I Make 5X More Than I do!Narcissist math | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/01/24 11:56 PM |
| 2 | Temporary Proposal & Nonsense GamesThanks for the encouragement. It’s tough to stay focused with all the nonsense games they play. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/01/24 03:29 PM |
| 3 | Temporary Proposal & Nonsense GamesThank you. I appreciate that. I will remain steadfast and report back. Glad I can come here and know I’m still on the right path. I’m hopeful her games are obvious to the court. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/01/24 03:42 AM |
| 3 | Temporary Proposal & Nonsense GamesGood advice. Thanks | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/01/24 02:31 AM |
| 5 | Temporary Proposal & Nonsense GamesThank you. I’m hoping the judge sees their games quickly. Yes it’s a 50/50 state. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/01/24 12:30 AM |
| 1 | Custody mediation adviceI’m in a similar situation. Fight for your kid. The person you married is not the person you’re dealing w now. She’s gone. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/24 07:09 PM |
| 2 | Custody mediation adviceStay strong!! | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/24 07:00 PM |
| 2 | Custody mediation adviceI have my first court date with my STBXW in two weeks. Mediation was pointless — she came with nothing to give yet wanted everything. We did agree to 50/50 custody and even worked together outside of court and attorneys to develop a reasonable and realistic parenting schedule — she verbally agreed to it. But just as we were getting close to signing it, out of left field she put together a totally different plan that is NOTHING like what we agreed to. So we again made zero progress. She has to su… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/24 05:46 PM |
| 8 | Cohabiting during and after the divorceLiving this right now. Staying in the home because she and her lawyer wants me out — so we’re petitioning to keep me in the marital home until we come to a full settlement. I hate being part of the leverage, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Damn energy vampire. Two faced. Liar. Fake. I married a hologram and now I’m divorcing a real devil. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/24 12:36 AM |
| 2 | Need assistance from small business ownersYou can get a full breakdown of payroll transactions from the payroll company. I’d request all transactions & annual summaries. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/01/24 03:33 PM |
| 1 | How did you deal with false accusationsWhat did they do/argue that ultimately gave them the upper hand w the judge? | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/12/23 06:11 PM |
| 1 | How did you deal with false accusationsWhy do you think they fold with the threat of an actual trial if they act so confident all other times? | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/12/23 02:46 PM |
| 3 | How did you deal with false accusationsThat’s exactly what mine said. She wants to keep the house, all the money, etc. even though it’s an equitable state. She’s delusional. Good luck! I hope it works out in your favor. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/12/23 04:40 AM |
| 2 | How did you deal with false accusationsIt’s crazy making | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/12/23 11:47 PM |
| 9 | How did you deal with false accusationsSo basically we just have to put up with it and hope the judge sees the facts for what they are and that our X is full of crap? Makes me nervous to put so much faith in one overworked judge. Especially since she had me fooled for a decade before I realized she was a complete liar and narcissist. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/12/23 10:55 PM |
| 1 | Was your judge fair?Thank you | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/12/23 08:26 PM |
| 1 | What’s this form of abuse calledSame here man. Happy to chat in a DM and compare notes. Sometimes this process feels lonely. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/12/23 05:33 PM |
| 1 | What’s this form of abuse calledJeez. How did it play out for you? | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/12/23 12:06 PM |
| 1 | Was your judge fair?Thank you. Very insightful | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/12/23 02:29 PM |
| 7 | Was your judge fair?Holy crap! Sorry you went through that. In hindsight do you think there was something you could have done differently or said differently in front of that judge for you to not lose it all? Stay strong brother. The fact you rebuilt, means you can keep going and be better for it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/12/23 01:59 PM |
| 2 | What’s this form of abuse calledVery similar to mine. It started off subtly and believably so I’d try harder. But then that wasn’t enough. I was blamed for everything. “Why did you open a new butter!? We have one that’s already opened” “I’m angry because you don’t do X” “This marriage is going to fail if you don’t try harder” And on and on. Frog in boiling water situation. After our first kid the mask fully came off. I was paying for everything. I was waking up with our baby. I was cleaning the house top to bottom. I hired her… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/12/23 01:54 PM |
| 14 | Advantages of Filing FirstMy attorney had me file first. Said our petition is the first thing the judge sees, it allows us to go first, all of which allow you to frame the case and then they have to argue or defend your position. It’s not the end-all-be-all advantage, but it puts you on the offense instead of the defense the whole time. Plus, once you file, at lease you know you’re taking action to move on with your life instead of waiting for them to react — which is probably what most of your marriage was like. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/12/23 07:08 PM |
| 2 | How did you handle getting dragged through the mud?I stayed in the marital home. Won’t budge w/o a court order. But when I bought a bed for our guest bedroom to live in she flipped out. Apparently she thinks I should live on the couch or under a bridge. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/12/23 03:56 PM |
| 3 | How did you handle getting dragged through the mud?Thank you. I needed to hear that | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/12/23 03:55 PM |
| 4 | How did you handle getting dragged through the mud?Why are there more than one of these women in the world!? Haha | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/12/23 03:54 PM |
| 5 | How did you handle getting dragged through the mud?Wow. Sorry you had to go through all of that. I’m Mine is crazy, but I’m keeping hope the pressure of being exposed gets her to settle and not drag this out forever. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/12/23 03:54 PM |
| 3 | How did you handle getting dragged through the mud?It’s amazing how many of these women are out there. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/12/23 03:49 PM |
| 4 | How did you handle getting dragged through the mud?Thanks for that. And I have zero interest in dating right now. Had I known divorce would be this invasive I’d probably never gotten married in the first place lol What kind of person/service do you mean when you say spotter? | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/12/23 06:49 PM |
| 3 | How did you handle getting dragged through the mud?Thanks. Good to hear. It’s tough to keep perspective when you’re in the weeds. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/12/23 06:33 PM |
| 5 | How did you handle getting dragged through the mud?That’s super helpful - “who cares” yeah I have to adopt that attitude. Own it. It’s not a big deal in reality and I did what I thought was best during a tough time. So what. She’s the one who cares more about what people think of her and pretending to be someone else. Heck, she has turned every mutual friend against me — so I guess there’s no one to worry about my image with. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/12/23 06:32 PM |
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