Preparing for first court date - and I’m pretty nervous.

My STBXW is sparing no legal expense claiming I’m hiding money, and that I should just walk away with what’s in my bank accounts (so she can keep the house, equity, her money — which is more than mine. Etc). Because of course, after supporting her for 15 years, paying for everything, doing everything, etc. etc. and then falling on some hard times as a biz owner during/post covid — she thinks she deserves it all, and I should suffer for sacrificing and suffering.

I digress.

Thanks to a bunch of you guys encouraging me and sharing your perspectives I’ve been in a better mindset lately, I’m playing the “game”, doing the work, and have some leverage points. Im not going to lay down and be a doormat — I’m also not trying to be unreasonable.

We live in an equitable state (not truly community property, but pretty close).

She has had some health issues and is fully exploiting them for her ultra-victim narrative. Even though I’ve helped her w her health before and through our divorce process, that’s not the narrative she’s using in court or to any one of our mutual friends.

What I want to know is, how fair/reasonable was your judge?

It seems like most of us in here married narcissistic/crazy/vindictive women so our experience in divorce is painful.

With everything she threw at you legally, every negative thing she dug up about you, her solid narrative about how she’s an innocent victim and you’re the devil…did your judge side with her emotional nonsense? Did they see through it? Did they believe her but stick to what the law suggests (assuming your state is reasonably equitable)?

While there’s always outliers, I’m interested to know if most judges are pretty fair, or if they are all skewed in this screwed up family court system.

Thanks brothers.