| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 7 | Suggestions on showing appreciation toward future in-laws for a BIG gift... | ADVICE | PreciousMuffn | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/09/19 05:46 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | Vaginal length / cervix heightMore because I know the approximate size a guy needs to be for comfortable sex. I definitely don't like my cervix being bashed 😅 I've had no issues with menstrual cups or toys, though. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/12/25 01:08 AM |
| 13 | Vaginal length / cervix heightNope! And have no desire. But I'd imagine our equivalent is breast size anyway. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/12/25 11:21 PM |
| 3 | Working or SAHM?What is your support/childcare system like if you opt to continue working? I have a 5 yr old now that was born in the midst of covid. We were already WFH because of that, and at the time lived with my inlaws. I was so bored I chose to go back to work 3 weeks early, mainly because I could just work from my desk upstairs. If I'd had to commute the 35 min each way and be there at 8am that might have been different. My job also allowed babies to come to work until mobile or 1 yr (whichever came 1st)… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/12/25 04:15 PM |
| 10 | Boyfriend won’t cook and there’s no food in his house eitherThis is what the vetting process is for... Cooking can primarily be "the woman's domain" (i guess we can discount all male chefs out there...), but as you said, he should know basics to survive. I'd have ick and need to move on. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/12/25 08:20 PM |
| 2 | When and how did you realize that you wanted to have kids?I'm the opposite. I realized at 25 that I didn't want kids and was fully in support of that lifestyle. I married someone with an 8 yr old at the time which was a great balance for me. Ended up pregnant at 36 with a total surprise. She's now 5 and big sis is nearly 17. She lights up my world. I chose to keep her, so I choose to show up in whatever my best version is each day. I don't have any regrets... but I would have also been totally fine remaining just a stepmom and enjoying life in a differ… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/11/25 07:22 AM |
| 3 | I am deeply bothered as a woman by seeing women work.Right... and be expected to work the long, draining hours themselves. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/05/25 05:48 PM |
| 1 | Is increasing sex frequency realistic?Yeah that's part of her issues she's got to deal with to break out of the addictive cycle. She's obsessed with him and forgetting about herself. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/04/25 05:00 PM |
| 1 | Is increasing sex frequency realistic?It's not with a porn addict. I don't think ever, but definitely if said addict is not even in recovery. The truth of the matter is that his brain needs constant new stimuli to become aroused. We are known... and even if you put on some cute outfit, try some new position, etc... it'll be short lived. My ex couldn't combine sex and love either, and sex was always on his terms, never about my pleasure, and very infrequent. It ate at my soul. Even after we both went to recovery, it was never like wh… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/04/25 04:58 PM |
| 17 | How do you know if you've 'passed the test'?He may be feeling a little anxious himself because he participated in you ignoring previously stated boundaries... Either way, I think it's a good sign that he is setting up more dates and obviously enjoys your company. My experience has been that the men I've been in relationships that had sex relatively early on stick around because they liked/loved me... and also liked having sex. If you enjoyed it, express it. If you like spending time with him then tell him... it's the negative thoughts tha… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/04/25 04:17 PM |
| 7 | Bf wants 'a bj'It's hard to say without knowing your ages, If you have religious or cultural stigmas, etc. Ultimately it's not a terrible thing to satisfy your partner if it's an act YOU feel comfortable with. He should also be reciprocating in some form and wanting to please you as well imo. Some men just take, and the women don't really know much different. Does your bf make judgmental comments like slut shaming about other women who may partake in intimacies outside of marriage? | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/03/25 06:34 PM |
| 1 | Thoughts on the Outlander series?I've watched all the series and am halfway through the book series. I think there are definitely some "wow, that was really stupid, Claire" moments, but I also think that's fairly realistic. She does tend to defer to him frequently, but he also loves and respects that she's not a doormat and defers to her knowledge and experience at times. I think they make a nice team overall. In the beginning she is still learning to trust him and is very out of her element too. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/03/25 09:01 AM |
| 2 | Not sure why I couldn’t form lasting friendships in recent yearsHaha, well I'm sure it helps that my love languages for friends are time and service. But thank you- I try. It's also nice that while some of my friends have kids - some around my kid's age and others grown - we talk about other things as well. Our dreams, our partners, jobs, upcoming trips, etc. Having been a formally Child Free woman, I'm also not put off by having CF friends or excluding them. I'm all about adult time. But yes... intentions matter. As does I think communicating them. There ar… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/01/25 06:14 PM |
| 7 | Not sure why I couldn’t form lasting friendships in recent yearsIt's definitely harder once you leave school, but I've found some of my closest friends in my 30s and now early 40s. I've also noticed that the majority, if not all, of my friends are extremely introverted. I fall about 50/50 for introversion and extroversion. I've also reconnected with friends I went to school with after a gap of several years of not speaking. That has been wonderful. My BFF in town I met nearly 7 years ago at Burning Man as we camped together and she and my husband were involv… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/01/25 05:26 PM |
| 3 | Balance Between Woman and WifeYes, because otherwise you fall into the cycle of being addicted to the addict and their behaviors. I scheduled times out with friends and did MMA (my ex husband also did MMA, but he was years more advanced so we weren't in the same classes). I also took 12 steps as the partner, participated in self improvement classes, and even attended a weekly Boundaries in Marriage class. I'd previously believed I had good boundaries, but it made me aware of how I was mistaken. You don't want to do so much t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/01/25 03:33 PM |
| 1 | Struggling to understand boyfriends sexual desires and porn useYes, she has fallen into the co-addict role and should consider why she has these patterns too. There are 12-step programs for partners of sex/porn addiction too called COSA. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/12/24 05:07 AM |
| -1 | How important is physical attractionIt's sometimes hard to say... my 1st husband was attractive, but he was not my first love (who admittedly I was hung up on at the time still). But we dated for 2 years and were married for 10 years. He grew on me. My boyfriend in between husbands was NOT my normal type. Like... we'd been friends and martial arts partners and were essentially "bros" for 2 years before I was divorced and then I asked him initially about being a FWB because I trusted him and needed to feel that connection again. He… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/08/24 08:18 PM |
| 16 | How to be the “goddess of fun and light” when it’s not your personality?So essentially he wants you to be someone NOT saddled with kids without a break, home responsibilities, and the heartbreak and soul death of watching your partner continually choose someone else over you.... That is his rationalization to keep doing what he's doing knowing full well that you'll never be able to ever be "happy and flirty." If you insist on staying for the kids, then I'd suggest getting into therapy to start coping with your situation and emotionally detaching from his toxic behav… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/07/24 08:47 PM |
| 7 | Having a debate ..about rolesNot generally as my husband typically insists on doing it, but occasionally I have done it if he was working on something, needing to rest in the car, or had to go inside the store etc. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/07/24 05:20 AM |
| 11 | Suddenly single at 31. How do I move forward knowing I likely won't get the partner or family I wanted?Hi! Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone... I got divorced at 32 after 10 yrs of marriage and 12 yrs together (he was unfaithful multiple times and also had a porn/sex addiction). I felt shame that I was a divorce statistic mostly... didn't plan on having kids and hadn't discovered RPW yet. Despite the amicable divorce, it was CRUSHING. I jumped into a relationship with a guy I'd been friends with who introduced me to RPW, but ultimately we weren't compatible (he wanted kids and wa… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/06/24 12:15 AM |
| 2 | No proposal after yearsI know - I apologize - I didn't intend to come across as snarky. For years I assumed similarly, and I reside in the area it occurs. And while you absolutely can have a drug-induced sexcapade in the desert, there is absolutely so much more to the event and experience. Essentially anything you could ever imagine can be found out there (Including AA, religious services, and some of the most amazing art you'll ever get to see and interact with). The guy who chose to end his relationship over it obvi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/05/24 11:09 PM |
| 2 | No proposal after yearsThat is your prerogative. What you seek there you will find - but ignorance I suppose will quell the crowds there for the rest of us :) It's definitely not for everyone. My husband wanted to make sure his partner could handle it as we have an intention to go every year and are actively involved in the community. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/05/24 11:00 PM |
| 1 | Marrying a man who's not taller than youI'm 5'8". My husband (2nd marriage) is about 2 inches taller than me and that's not an issue. My first husband was the same height, and it weirded me out initially. Admittedly, he was a rebound after the breakup with my first love,so it was hard not to focus on or compare to the first love. But ultimately it didn't bother me. My boyfriend between husband's, though... was initially a friend who I'd never been attracted to previously, but fell in love with over time and getting to know him. Beside… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/04/24 07:20 PM |
| 3 | A man with kidsI started dating my husband when I was 33 and my stepdaughter was nearly 9 at the time. My intention was to not have biological children, but the universe had other plans down the road, so I'm now stepmom and biomom. In any case... it was a wonderful experience for me. I think it will largely depend on what a custody arrangement looks like for your partner along with kids' ages, as that will impact your ability to live the way you want. For example... if it's week on/week off, then you're more a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/03/24 01:29 AM |
| 4 | Porn addiction in men (reasons to avoid?)I'm 7.5 years divorced from a porn/sex addict and have since remarried a man who used to dabble in porn while single, but chose to delete his stash when we got together 6.5 years ago of his own accord. My ex and I got married at age 22 and were married for 10 years. My ex literally could not connect emotionally during sex. It was all mostly F'ing, and always when HE was interested. I NEVER had an orgasm with him and was always left to take care of my own needs afterward. I was rejected SO many t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/03/24 02:32 AM |
| 3 | Sad that my husband likes lingerie model types and not me.If he's hooked on porn there's nothing you can do to change him or his attractive level. By all means, lose weight if you feel it's necessary for you, but my point is that he's got an unrealistic idea of what women's bodies should look like. And quite honestly, even if you became the "ideal" he would likely still become bored eventually and seek new stimuli through porn. That happened to me with my ex-husband. It sounds like you're already altering your life choices to try and control his behavi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/08/23 05:33 PM |
| 3 | What would the “Surrendered Wife” approach be to husband’s excessive porn use?You literally can't fix him, and you're spiraling into the co-addict role of the addiction cycle trying to please him. This is coming from an ex-wife (10 yr marriage) of a porn/affair addict who has since remarried to a wonderful man who actually takes my needs and desires into consideration. I highly recommend you read Out of the Shadows by Patrick Carnes, and his wife has a lot of material for partners of sex addicts. It's soul crushing... and even if your husband reacts positively to some out… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/08/23 08:55 PM |
| 3 | I'm now with a gamer, and I want to find feminine video games I can play solo, or cooperative ones we can play together (non-competitive!)My husband, stepdaughter and I have played a lot of Over cooked together and Towerfall, though on the computer. I really enjoyed a lot of the Lego games years ago, especially those like Indiana Jones, Star Wars, LOTR, etc. Wasn't as much of a fan with the Marvel and DC comic ones. As a solo game, I just finished playing the Hogwarts Legacy game - first game I've really played in over a decade - and I LOVE it! Beautifully done. I also love Kingdom Hearts. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/03/23 08:46 AM |
| 1 | I have a higher libido than my bf but I still caught him wathching porn instead of having sex with meJust very hooked sadly...though he is indeed very academically capable too. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/11/22 12:51 AM |
| 2 | I have a higher libido than my bf but I still caught him wathching porn instead of having sex with meRight?! I was completely clueless because he also graduated top of his class, worked FT (3am - 11am) as a dept manager in a grocery store, and did martial arts... plus spent time with me every day. Apparently he'd browse while writing papers etc. Or when school was on break and he was bored. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/11/22 05:34 PM |
| 13 | I have a higher libido than my bf but I still caught him wathching porn instead of having sex with meMy ex husband was a porn addict. They just tend to get "lower libido" with partners eventually because we are known and "boring." It can also stir the shame being unable to perform properly... We'd have sex maybe 4x per month despite my very high libido and attempts to be intimate. I later found out he was looking at 4-7 hrs of porn per day while obtaining his degree. He watched out of stress and boredom. If your boyfriend's ex put a porn blocker on then he's definitely lying. Pay attention to t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/11/22 08:03 AM |
| 8 | Bf asking about past partners, how to approach?I would just tell him, but I would also expect him to share. My husband and I were open about our previous experiences (and we were both previously married) and ended up having the same number. To me it was more important how we valued intimacy... it would have been a turn off to discover he just slept around casually. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/09/22 11:18 PM |
| 2 | Recently single a 30 - feeling insecure, a bit lost, and seeking advice and reassuranceVery true. It was NOT easy as we were divorcing and then afterward, but it was a great opportunity for growth and learning to love myself and determine what I wanted for myself. Then it manifested :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/08/22 05:30 PM |
| 1 | Recently single a 30 - feeling insecure, a bit lost, and seeking advice and reassuranceThank you! | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/08/22 05:29 PM |
| 39 | Recently single a 30 - feeling insecure, a bit lost, and seeking advice and reassuranceI got divorced at 32 and met my husband a year or so later. He's 8 yrs older. Didn't plan to have my own children, but lo and behold, I found myself pregnant at 36! Your 30s are a beautiful time to live - enjoy them! | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/08/22 12:05 AM |
| 16 | 29F about to turn 30, do I end things with my non-committal bf (35M)?I met my husband when I was 33 and he was 41...2nd marriage for both of us. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/08/22 03:52 AM |
| 8 | My boyfriend took my driving privilege away, is this a red flag? yellow flag? (please read context)I don't see it either. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/07/22 02:25 AM |
| 2 | Porn AddictionSex Addiction Anonymous (SAA) is a 12 step group for porn/sex addicts. I highly recommend the works of Patrick Carnes, especially his Gentle Path work book, as well. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/05/22 05:14 PM |
| 7 | Seeking advice on showing respect to my boyfriendProbably a little of both... I personally couldn't deal with that... I KNOW my husband is intelligent, hardworking, and handsome, but if he tried to convey pride in his ability to "get women" I'd be so turned off. And that's not even with the commitment issues. Find someone who wants to be with you and shows it. Comparing you and criticizing you as a facade for his indecisiveness and inability to lovingly handle situations is not appropriate. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/05/22 07:53 AM |
| 3 | When to have s*x with someone you date?MMA gyms are common around where I live, in addition to numerous jiu jitsu gyms and gyms for other types of martial arts. The same could be for wherever OP Is located. Either way, she's indicating he's got the dedication and commitment to attain a black belt, just as he did for a PhD. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/05/22 04:42 PM |
| 2 | When to have s*x with someone you date?There are if you go to an exclusively MMA gym. I go to one and am a brown senior belt, and they go from white to 5th degree black as the highest currently. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/05/22 04:12 PM |
| 8 | Your husband comes before your children. Almost always.💯. Even the Catholic priest that married me stated this during the ceremony. The couple needs to continue to focus on each other, second to God, in order to remain a solid foundation to then care for the family. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/05/22 10:08 PM |
| 2 | What to do when your husband prefer things you don’t have?I'm open to what my husband likes as far as my hair, but he's fine with whatever I choose to do. Last week I went blonder (his preference and my first time really going blonder in stages) but I had to chop off 3 inches because they were dry and damaged. He likes longer hair and was sad it's now to about armpit length, but i told him it'll grow again and be healthier looking. My first husband bemoaned the fact that I was his height and was pasty white... and also wished I could be like Mystique a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/04/22 03:05 AM |
| 1 | The Consequences of PornographyGood on you! I hope you're able to do it. Be gentle with yourself if you slip up, but utilize all the resources and tools out there to be as successful as possible. It's not realistic to avoid people you find beautiful in public or online, but it is a choice how you handle it and whether you divert your sexual or even emotional energy on someone else and continue to feed it. And if you really want to hear how porn has impacted people, check out r/pornfree. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/04/22 03:27 PM |
| 24 | hitting the wall and settling for mr wrongI was 32 when I divorced from my own chronically unfaithful ex husband, and then started dating my current husband at age 34. We got married 2.5 yrs later and I even had an unexpected baby Sept 2020 at nearly 37 yrs of age. Don't settle for the crap you're experiencing just to become a mother. It'll be exponentially more difficult and frustrating as soon as you add a baby to the mix. Learn to love yourself and your worth and find a better partner. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/04/22 08:14 PM |
| 3 | Work from home?I just quit my state job last month because trying to WFH with a then 15.5 month old was crazy...even with help from my inlaws throughout the day typically. It was extremely stressful, and all my "breaks" were baby related tasks like putting her down or trying to feed her lunch. If you do find something you like and don't have in-home care, make sure it's something flexible and where you don't have to be on the phone or conduct meetings a lot. Even drafting court docs was hard, especially once m… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/02/22 07:26 PM |
| 2 | Bf and I are both on the fence about having children. I’m struggling with not having the clarity I desire and I feel like less of a woman for not having this strong urge to be a mother.There's nothing inherently wrong with not having children. You are more than your womb. I have never felt the biological clock ticking and didn't plan to have a child. I actually had been under the impression that I couldn't have children without medical intervention... but I now have a 16 month old that was completely unexpected, and I'm 38. I literally told my husband last night that I never would have planned a child because the anxiety of the decision was too much. It being thrust upon me to… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/01/22 09:40 AM |
| 6 | How much childcare should I expect my husband to do?I currently work FT from home and my husband works as well for his own business. I'm actually giving up my job in January as trying to work from home with a 14 month old is extremely stressful and mentally taxing. I already carry the burden of the child related tasks, but my husband helps me in the mornings and will feed or bathe her a couple times in the week. He's able to help more on the weekends. I expect to take on more during the week once I'm not working my regular job, but I've made it c… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/11/21 12:15 AM |
| 2 | Trying to not nag my boyfriendMy ex husband was a wonderful cuddler and spent a lot of time with me... But he had a porn problem which led to an emotional/physical affair problem...and sexual frustration on my part because my needs were absolutely not being met. I will tell you from experience that if he isn't addressing his porn problem actively, you're going to end up pretty miserable as it'll take a toll on your self esteem, too. Now being with my 2nd husband is like night and day. I'd never go back to being with a person… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/09/21 10:00 PM |
| 5 | Losing Baby weight...Yeah, she just had her baby in August! | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/21 10:28 PM |
| 1 | Losing Baby weight...Apparently the baby was born in August!!! | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/21 10:24 PM |
| 2 | Why Do Men Prefer Younger Women?When I came back into her life she was almost 9 and I was 34. Got married 2.5 yrs later. | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/09/21 01:27 AM |
| 3 | Why Do Men Prefer Younger Women?Amen! I was married for 10 years and got divorced when I was 32... Met my husband almost 2 years later and he's 8 years older. He'd take out young 20 year olds, but never got Serious with any of them. He loved that I had my life together, was a team player to help raise my stepdaughter, and was adventurous while being a grounding force in his life. I don't think early 20s me and him would have been nearly as compatible. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/09/21 10:44 PM |
| 2 | Putting intimacy first for the first time in my life.You can also try Out of the Shadows by Patrick Carnes. My first marriage ended because of his porn/sex addiction :( | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/07/21 05:59 PM |
| 8 | Any success stories of meeting your husband/partner at 30+?I got divorced at age 32 after 10 years married to my ex who had a sex/porn addiction. I dated a guy shortly thereafter who introduced me to this community. We didn't work out but parted on good terms. About 6 months later I ran into my husband (I was 33 and he was 41) and we've been together for nearly 4 years and married for almost 1.5 years. We even have a surprise 10 month old. My husband and I couldn't have met at a better time, honestly. We knew each other previously, but neither of us thi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/07/21 09:05 PM |
| 2 | Unsure if I’m being reasonable in LTRDoes he happen to have ADHD? Much of what you described reminds me of my husband and even my last boyfriend (who had it very bad and got diagnosed as an adult). With my ex bf it was too much for me to deal with, but my husband was 14 yrs older than him and more established, open to working on aspects of it, and had been able to create systems to help him be more successful. Don't get me wrong...he will still procrastinate on things that he's trying to avoid, can lose track of a whole day online … | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/06/21 01:34 AM |
| 3 | Tell me about the little things your partner does that make you feel lovedMy husband loves to dry my hair for me, brings me flowers and ice cream sundaes from Costco, brings me coffee most mornings, and is just very overall thoughtful and considerate with all things related to me. I also appreciate the fact that when there is an inevitable disagreement, he shows empathy and likes to do the role reversal exercise to try and obtain my perspective. I struggle with that one a lot myself 🤣 Service is definitely his love language. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/04/21 08:58 PM |
| 5 | No idea what to do about my dead bedroomHow old is he? Ironically sex addiction can result in LACK of sexual intimacy in a relationship because the person needs new stimuli to maintain an erection, etc. You wanting sexual intimacy doesn't make you an addict. My 10-yr marriage fell apart because of sex/porn addiction. We had sex maybe 3-4x per month starting immediately after marriage when we were 22! There was no foreplay and no kissing either really, and it was always on his terms. All carnal typically. When he'd try to satisfy me, h… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/03/21 08:42 PM |
| 5 | Can I help my husband with his out of control temper?Those are all excuses. He can shop around until he jives with someone. My husband has seen a therapist regularly for years just for maintenance, venting, ADHD management etc. When we first got together I realized there were some deeper issues related to him having been cheated on in the past that he was avoiding dealing with. I simply pointed out I didn't want those insecurities spilling over into our relationship. Within the week he started seeing my therapist both individually and together (ev… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/01/21 08:43 PM |
| 3 | Lurking for years but have always swung back and forth between this ideology and the mainstream left leaning being empowered ideology. I am naturally more of a Tom boy, but I had a date the other night where I tried to be extremely feminine. Such a change.Agreed! And I'm a lady that enjoys being very feminine yet participating in MMA and BJJ. I look forward to returning to those activities when the pandemic is under control/baby is a little older. Many of my fellow female BJJ friends are good looking, confident, and know how to dress up for an occasion and look amazing. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/01/21 02:06 PM |
| 3 | Does anyone else worry they’re infertile?No, but I was hoping I was because I never wanted to have a bio child. I was told I was basically infertile anyway due to PCOS, but lo and behold, I now have a 10 week old. Trust me, there is more to life than just living it to have children. Obviously having them would satisfy a great desire for you, but there are also more reasons to care for yourself or date men than to just have children. I would recommend seeing an OBGYN if you're concerned that much, and possibly therapy to cope with the a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/12/20 08:35 AM |
| 2 | I’m not sure if this topic is encouraged here but I’m hoping it is..Absolutely, yes it can. Boys now have access to porn earlier and earlier in this technological age and it's affecting their ability to perform in relationships later...or in realizing women in porn are not realistic examples. They also learn to objectify women at an early age...and let's be real, unless you're looking at a very specific type of porn, porn doesn't show men getting women off. It's all about their pleasure. There's a community called pornfree that you can browse to see the various … | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/11/20 04:12 PM |
| 2 | I’m not sure if this topic is encouraged here but I’m hoping it is..Highly recommend the Kinky Bunny by Oooh Bunny . I generally have the higher libido in all of my relationships. After my divorce I was given this as a bridesmaids gift (by far the BEST bridesmaids gift EVER) and I was 32 at the time. I questioned why I'd never owned a toy before! Either way - get a good silicone, rechargeable option! | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/11/20 03:54 PM |
| 6 | I’m not sure if this topic is encouraged here but I’m hoping it is..Just an FYI, porn and masturbation can have a HUGE impact depending on how frequently it's being utilized. My ex-husband was an addict and I never knew until he escalated to an affair...and here I was waiting and absolutely willing and essentially begging for intimacy. I am attractive as well. But it's not about the partner at that point. He admitted to me that he was mining porn and looking at it for hours per day and I was floored because I had no idea how he found the time with everything els… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/11/20 03:48 PM |
| 1 | Is anyone else annoyed by how reddit constantly recommends therapy/couple's therapy for every minor thing?Because it can be very beneficial and address issues that might potentially affect the relationship otherwise.... My husband and I started couples counseling within 3 weeks of dating because I knew some of his past traumas with cheating partners would come back to negatively impact our relationship and I am not about the control/insecure life. We saw her individually and as a couple as needed, and honestly we're married now because of it. We were given the tools to really HEAR each other and rec… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/09/20 06:24 AM |
| 4 | remaining a virgin until marriage.My first love/long term bf and I wanted to wait until marriage (I was 17 and he was 15 initially when we met and dated for 2.5 yrs), but we did other things to compensate for the hormonal drive. He wasn't so much even doing it for religious reasons as because his family was HUGE on reputation. We ultimately had sex toward the end of the relationship when I was 20 and he was so conflicted about it he said things to me that broke my heart and caused me to feel the deepest rejection I've ever felt.… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/09/20 04:04 PM |
| 1 | PornI doubt it as it was much more soft core back then and he doesn't roll that way, but I am glad it's gone all the same. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/09/20 05:10 PM |
| 1 | PornLOL no...he didn't do it on the regular, but started in college when he was one of the first techie guys in the dorms who had access to the "high speed" internet back then. He was very popular with the guys on the floor with access to that and downloaded movies. So actually he probably did have some old stuff that could have been pined after, but oh well! | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/09/20 05:25 AM |
| 2 | PornNot for me anymore. My first marriage ended due to porn/sex addiction and I'm thankful my current husband opted to delete his whole stash he'd collected off and on for 20 years when we started dating. I didn't even ask him to, but he felt he no longer wanted any "back ups" and wanted to put all of his sexual and romantic energy into us. ❤️ | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/09/20 06:26 PM |
| 8 | How do I stay realistic without wanting to give up?Start by not focusing on what you feel you lack and rather focus on what you are and have and bring to the table. Absolutely improve yourself on whatever way you feel you need to, but attitude and confidence and demeanor will get you further than you think. You're not some washed up nothing just because you're now 30. I got divorced at 32 and met my now husband at almost 34 yrs. He's 8 years older than me, but he was actually tired of pursuing women younger and "hotter" because they couldn't pro… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/08/20 03:54 AM |
| 1 | How do I stay realistic without wanting to give up?Again...that's just a generalization. I'm 36 and met my husband nearly 3 years ago after a divorce. I get my hair and nails done regularly, but have always been more of a tomboy and love to do MMA, Romp through the forest/river/mud, and have a great time together doing any activity. I'm probably the "manliest" woman he's ever been with, but he wouldn't change it for anything because he was actually tired of the women who were too delicate or uninterested in participating in things be enjoyed doi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/08/20 03:49 AM |
| 14 | How do I stay realistic without wanting to give up?Perhaps not you, but that's not the case for everyone. Plus having standards and not settling doesn't make one masculine or feminine imo. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/08/20 12:59 AM |
| 2 | What is a RPW way to deal with an adulterous husband?I hope it gets better...and it will provided you avoid his mind traps. It will just take time and giving yourself the love you need to be strong. You are definitely not alone. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/08/20 07:30 PM |
| 12 | What is a RPW way to deal with an adulterous husband?Ex wife of a former Marine and sex/porn addict who at least OWNED his behaviors... Your husband is trying to make you the bad guy when you aren't. He is deflecting and not coming close to being a Captain in your marriage. I highly recommend looking into support and resources through COSA, and if you're curious about the addictive cycle of sex/porn addicts and how you play a role as well, read "Out of the Shadows" by Patrick Carnes. I thought the whole premise was a joke until I started reading m… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/08/20 06:40 PM |
| 2 | Feminine nailsI started doing hard gels about 8 yrs ago and get them filled every 3 weeks. It prevents me from biting or picking at them, plus I love all the fun glittery colors I can have depending on my particular mood. I change the colors up every 6 weeks. I started doing my toes the same way once I was doing MMA because my feet were much more exposed and I hate flakey nail polishes. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/08/20 12:49 AM |
| 4 | Can a red pill woman let go of resentment from an affair that resulted in a child?Trust me, it's not. Sounds like you might benefit from looking into some coaddiction resources and support. You definitely sound codependent. Were you able to address those aspects in therapy? Sometimes you have to find the right mode for therapy too for it to be effective. I found a huge benefit from COSA which is for partners of sex addicts. There are great books and groups that you can be connected with so you know you're not alone and can find your inner power again. Hugs! | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/08/20 02:58 AM |
| 20 | Can a red pill woman let go of resentment from an affair that resulted in a child?You would be VERY surprised if you allowed yourself the opportunity to be on your own, heal, and then put your feelers out again. The boxed in mindset will be more detrimental to you than being over 30 with 3 kids... | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/08/20 02:46 AM |
| 10 | Can a red pill woman let go of resentment from an affair that resulted in a child?So this is going to come out harsh, but why then do you want to debase yourself by continuing this farce? I know from experience how hard it is to make the choice to leave. My ex husband and I agreed to split because he fell back into old habits and then "fell in love" with another person. He was tired of hurting me. I had also realized that I would need to leave anyway because he had crossed my boundaries I'd set Previously. It was not easy, but I have absolutely no regrets - it's been almost 4… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/08/20 02:42 AM |
| 11 | Can a red pill woman let go of resentment from an affair that resulted in a child?From a woman that once reconciled with a cheating ex husband, I can tell you that it was only feasible because he cut contact, owned his actions, started therapy (individual and couples), and took other measures to reassure ME that it wouldn't happen again. A child certainly would have complicated things, but I might have even been able to handle that given the other things. Not once did he blame me. Not once did he guilt trip me or push me into intimacy before I was ready again. Not once did he… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/08/20 02:17 AM |
| 2 | I Keep Being IndecisiveWhat do you feel you're not getting? A little more detail would probably bear you more fruit in the advice/guidance dept. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/08/20 10:34 PM |
| 4 | How much time do you spend with your significant other? When does it start to feel like you’re being neglected and/or your needs aren’t being met?Now that I also working from home, we see each other A LOt...and I love it. But we're focused on our things during the day and eat, walk, read, veg together in the evenings. When his daughter is with us we don't usually get 1:1 quality time until about 10pm, but otherwise we generally have a couple hours each day. The only times I feel neglected is when there are multiple nights in a week he has to work late (he works his own IT business) and may roll into bed around 3-4am...we typically enjoy o… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/08/20 03:28 AM |
| 3 | Being naked around your man? Yey or Ney?I prefer being naked in my bedroom, but if we're home alone I definitely don't mind walking upstairs or going to another part of the house in the buff either. For me it's not so much about enticing as a personal preference. One of my former long-term partners got me sleeping naked several years ago, and I found it also helped keep me warmer at night and I loved the closeness of feeling skin to skin. My husband has been doing it with me for nearly 3 years and that's a first for him. This is the m… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/08/20 10:23 PM |
| 3 | Having more male friends.Just pointing out that not every woman wants to become a mother. But I see what you're conveying. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/08/20 07:38 PM |
| 7 | "Wife benefits/duties should only be given to a man after a legally contracted marriage"I agree to a point, but that everyone's definition and situation is different. I disagree in the aspect that if women remain distant enough to be on a "close friend" level, then it's possible the man may not think she really is invested. That being said, I agree with other posters that this should only occur if the man is also putting forth more husband-like actions. However I do believe that a woman shouldn't put AS much as she would into it unless they're at least engaged. It's easy to be take… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/07/20 12:06 AM |
| – | Self CareRegular prenatal massages and nail appts (like once a month) and bimonthly chiro appts Alone time here and there throughout the day away from work, others in the home, etc reading or relaxing in other capacities Asking for more help given that I'm 30 weeks pregnant and trying to be super woman is a recipe for disaster. Cuddling my cats Going for nightly walks with my husband Talking with friends and family Cooking healthy meals or baking | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/07/20 10:33 PM |
| 2 | "Post-wall" ladies, how do your red pill efforts shift with age? How do your efforts change in terms of still feeling attractive to your man? Does age impact how you support your man and family?Because RPW isn't solely about "the wall" or whatever someone's particular perception of it is... | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/07/20 04:10 AM |
| 1 | How long to wait for a proposal?After a year and a half of dating - and working through some important bumps - I had a heart to heart and just told him that I needed him to realize where I stood. I was already 35 and he 44 and I told him I was of the mind that you should know by 2 years together whether that was a step you wanted to take, especially when we essentially spent every day together between our two places. He had started talking about marriage EARLY in the relationship and had even bought a fake ring example and occ… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/06/20 09:44 PM |
| 18 | "Post-wall" ladies, how do your red pill efforts shift with age? How do your efforts change in terms of still feeling attractive to your man? Does age impact how you support your man and family?Guess I'm technically "post wall," but don't feel that way and find it to be a fairly offensive term. I'm 36 and the heaviest I've ever been in my life because I'm 6 months pregnant with my first child. But I met my husband again at age 33 - nearly 34 - and honestly at that point I felt I was at the best version of myself compared to my 20s. Sure I get strands of gray here and there, but so what? I'm still youthful and have A LOT more wisdom and idea of what it takes to have a successful relatio… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/06/20 11:17 PM |
| 2 | Women who have gotten divorced—do you regret it? How did you know that you should end it?It takes A LOT of effort and work and ongoing vigilance. And not generally on your own. There has to be 12 steps, individual and couples counseling, and regular self work. You have to find the root. When you have been the wife begging for Physical intimacy, suspecting he can only get erect because he's thinking about someone else, having him call the shots on how frequently or what type of sex you have because otherwise he can't get erect, or feeling so low and worthless because you can't compet… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/06/20 05:53 AM |
| 11 | Women who have gotten divorced—do you regret it? How did you know that you should end it?Nope... He had sex/porn addictions and even after reconciling after an affair at 4 yrs of marriage, he fell back into old patterns at the 9.5 yr mark. It was devastating for me to throw away a 10 yr marriage and lose him despite the issues. I knew we had to split when he broke my trust and boundaries again. But I do not regret it. And now I have a new husband who adores me and cares for me in ways my first couldn't ever do...and I finally have a healthy sex life. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/06/20 10:40 PM |
| 2 | I'm [24F] potentially having intimacy issues with my [29M] boyfriend.Whatever the reason may be...it's beside the point that you're unhappy and he's either unwilling or unable to improve the situation. I lived a similar life for 10 years of marriage, though my avg of 4 times per month usually had a back to back day and then a large gap. My ex husband would at least be physically affectionate cuddle-wise, otherwise I would have been so so so depressed as touch is my #1 love language. I was never satisfied with our sex life and later discovered it was due to porn a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/06/20 03:32 AM |
| 4 | Not sure how to feel. Did I betray him?You didn't betray your ex since you were already broken up. What you're feeling guilty about is falling into the rejection/validation trap and seeking attention elsewhere, and thus it seems like you're less "committed" to your ex than you believed. You're hurting, but you're actually just less committed to your own perceived standards of self. Trust me, I've been there. I hadn't been truly single from age 17 to 33 because I relationship hopped right away because I needed that external validation… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/05/20 05:07 PM |
| 2 | When he’s ‘perfect’ but there’s no intimacy—can intimacy be built?Haha, I liked him but not in a romantic way back then. I thought he was attractive, extremely amiable and always helped me with dishes, and a very good catch...and was honestly surprised my ex-SIL had caught his eye since she doesn't take care of herself very well at all. She's extremely intelligent academically and musically talented, though. I figured that part was none of my business and I was happily married then anyway. It was a little weird at first, but it'd been a long time since they'd … | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/05/20 11:27 PM |
| 1 | When he’s ‘perfect’ but there’s no intimacy—can intimacy be built?My ex husband was honestly a rebound that stuck... I'd been with my first love for 2.5 years and after we split I met my ex-husband online and voila. He is still a good guy despite his various significant flaws, and we developed a strong bond of friendship. That spark was missing for both of us though and we were more like super close roommates that loved spending time together and occasionally had sex. I actually met my current husband back in 2011 when he was dating my ex husbands sister. They… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/20 10:39 PM |
| 11 | When he’s ‘perfect’ but there’s no intimacy—can intimacy be built?I did something similar at age 22 and married my ex husband after dating for two years. We joked that we had a self arranged marriage, and while we had decent emotional intimacy, the romantic chemistry was sorely missing. Added to that was a discovery four years later that he had a sex/porn addiction which contributed to his lack of sexual intimacy in the marriage. We had great Physical intimacy outside of sex, loved spending time together, and built a strong foundation on mutual love and respec… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/05/20 06:21 AM |
| 2 | How often should a woman initiate sex?I initiate regularly, especially during these last few months when he's been more in his head with stress and because of pregnancy hormones. He definitely doesn't mind and is appreciative of having a partner who enjoys physical love and is available when he initiates as well. I will say, my husband is NOT turned on by "let's bone" or super direct statements such as that. I will jokingly do that sometimes in the beginning to get his attention, but he actually gets more in the mood through connect… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/05/20 05:02 PM |
| 14 | BurnoutWhoa yeah... I started pushing my stepdaughter to do more chores like dishes when I came into her life at almost 9. My parents were both in the military when I was a kid, so we've been making our own basic lunches since she 5 (with supervision) and cleaning full bathrooms since age 8 - my father instructed us on that task! We were expected to help out, contribute to the family, and relieve some stress from my mom. We actually looked forward to my mom also being gone certain nights of the week fo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/05/20 05:21 PM |
| 3 | I'm new to this, so my post will probably be removed like every other post I've posted on reddit... Anyway, based on red pill philosophy, what is the function of women who arent in their "peak sexual market prime" or whatever it's called. What if you are passed your prime, and are single? Still try?Congratulations! And since that's what you desire, I hope it manifests for you and you're able to conceive! LoL...I was pushing for my husband to get a vasectomy because I didn't want a surprise in my 40's, and we agreed to wait one more year. Of course, the universe brought us an unexpected new path to travel shortly thereafter, haha! I'm very glad you've also found a better match for yourself And wish you continued happiness! 💗 | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/20 07:41 PM |
| 12 | I'm new to this, so my post will probably be removed like every other post I've posted on reddit... Anyway, based on red pill philosophy, what is the function of women who arent in their "peak sexual market prime" or whatever it's called. What if you are passed your prime, and are single? Still try?Are women apparently worthless after a certain point in your mind? Or is their only purpose to bare children? There are plenty of childfree and childless RP couples out there of varying ages and having successful relationships. Should women who are single for whatever reason past their primes be shut ins and cast aside by society because someone citing RP philosophy says so? I think not... Only YOU can really define what that timeline is... And the person who's interested in you. You can be a te… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/05/20 04:24 PM |
| 5 | What is RPW’s opinion on Alimony and Child Support?I am sorry you are stuck in that kind of situation, especially since he planned to have them. I hope it can get better for you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/04/20 08:29 PM |
| 9 | What is RPW’s opinion on Alimony and Child Support?Wow... That is kind of shocking to me that he wouldn't even want to see his kids if your marriage failed. Is he involved with them now? | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/04/20 08:25 PM |
| 1 | Relationship questionBecause your are under the impression that it's normal and appropriate to be called names, be treated worse than an animal and be punished for your "wrong doings" within the context of a relationship. Rather than seeing that this is extremely unhealthy behavior, you view yourself as the problem and are seeking to continue working it out with someone who's abusive. You obviously know it's a problem because you wouldn't otherwise be crying, upset, or posting for advice on here. At least you live s… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/04/20 07:41 PM |
| 25 | Relationship questionYeaaaa....not a healthy relationship. Are you in a position to leave and stay elsewhere? Also, are you in therapy? | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/04/20 04:15 AM |
| 2 | Being a stay at home mom has been ruining my marriageI agree, but it doesn't sound like he's very involved with his children anyway. Plus, she's probably come to realize that her even asking that of him, like anything else she's asked for, is going to result in him calling her selfish. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/04/20 01:07 AM |
| 13 | Being a stay at home mom has been ruining my marriageOr God forbid, go to church and let him watch his own children... Though right now most churches are not gathering. Either way, go for a walk or something for yourself and let him parent for a while. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/03/20 11:50 PM |
| 3 | How long did you wait to sleep with your SO?We're SUPPOSED to be getting married 5/2, though we may try to elope next weekend at this rate. And we're expecting...so yes! 2.5 years together and going strong :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/03/20 04:08 PM |
| 2 | How long did you wait to sleep with your SO?After 2 weeks and like 4 dates? But I knew him previously and was acquainted with his character. It was definitely fast for him, too, especially because he had not partaken with anyone he'd casually dated since his last gf 3 years prior. But it all felt right 🥰 | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/03/20 07:36 AM |
| 3 | Self Improvement: Quarantine EditionI'm thankfully still working and accruing overtime even, but without the commute. The past 2 evenings I've gone on walks just to avoid becoming stir crazy. I'm improving my STFU despite there being a variety of significant things going on outside of our control, including the fact we'll probably be postponing our wedding which is set for 5/2 and realizing I'm not going to be able to experience first pregnancy events normally. We're taking the time to practice gratitude for what we have and I'm g… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/03/20 07:32 AM |
| 2 | Ex boyfriend. HelpI was married to an addict and can attest it's no fun. You did the right thing by taking care of yourself by leaving. It's such a painful experience all around, but even in recovery you'd have a difficult time having a normal, connected sex life. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/03/20 10:48 PM |
| 10 | What is it like to have children?Currently 11 weeks with my first and I'm 36. Not really a fan, but I also wasn't ever planning on having children biologically. Much of the nausea and food aversions have passed lately for which I'm grateful, but my fiancé went and got snipped to prevent future surprises. Abortion is only an option for me if there's something really medically wrong. Otherwise, this child is a product of our love and apparently was meant to be in our lives. I will say that the major saving grace has been knowing … | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/03/20 12:55 AM |
| 3 | 32 and single / seeking positive storiesI'd met my first husband online and didn't mind it, i just wasn't ready to date yet or deal with how it had changed over the years. I agree it's the smartest way to go when you're older and working and very busy. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/03/20 04:01 PM |
| 20 | 32 and single / seeking positive storiesI got divorced at age 32 after 10 years of marriage and met my fiance right before I turned 34. We're getting married in May and having a baby and I'm now 36. I didn't really want to bother with online dating either, but I had a crazy urge one day and followed it...and it allowed me to reconnect with him 3 years after the last time i saw him as his was the first profile I stumbled upon! Age is just a number...don't get too hung up on it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/03/20 05:37 AM |
| 5 | Seeking help for a sensitive problem between my fiancé and IAre you willing to walk away though if he's unwilling to take your feelings into consideration and actually hear you? | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/02/20 05:46 AM |
| 13 | Seeking help for a sensitive problem between my fiancé and IOut of curiosity, if your sex transactions are only 10 minutes a piece, how is he fulfilling you? It strikes me as more "wham bam thank you ma'am" versus anything like lovemaking where he should also be focused on pleasing you. I ask because I got married young, too... And the sex, while not nearly as frequent as yours, was short lived when it occurred and only occurred when he was ready. My needs were not taken into consideration. After my 10-year marriage ended, I found two partners who made i… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/02/20 05:42 AM |
| 2 | Assuming similiarity of personality would you rather go for a middle class handsome man or a rich, average looking manI agree with this person. I can't just make a judgement based on those two things alone because I'm more concerned about which one is actively working on himself, which one is a generous, open partner, which one actually adores me vs just love and be nice to me, etc. How does he make ME feel toward him? Can either engage in conversation with me and handle my humor? Money can be nice provided he's not a workaholic and enjoys doing things with it, too. Looks aren't everything either. My fiance is … | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/02/20 03:47 PM |
| 2 | How to deal with the feeling of not having enough time and options?Meditation is a great option...so is yoga or something you can boost your self esteem with... I personally was involved with mixed martial arts and love it. I also made a list of things I wanted to do on my own rather than with a partner which originally made me uncomfortable after being in relationships for so much of my life, but it was awesome. I did a solo weekend trip to the Redwood Forest in CA, I took myself out to a fancy dinner, went to movies by myself, and overall just got to know ME … | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/02/20 03:34 PM |
| 1 | How to deal with the feeling of not having enough time and options?We reconnected online after 3+ years of not seeing one another after my ex-SIL broke up with him. But we initially met through her back in 2011 and he and his daughter used to spend holidays at my ex-husband's and my house. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/02/20 03:01 AM |
| 10 | How to deal with the feeling of not having enough time and options?Let your hamster rest and try to focus on your present and just enjoying being alone and dating yourself. Your age isn't THAT old, and relaxing and bettering yourself emotionally along with physically will benefit you greatly. It will allow you to vet better in the future and not desperately cling to the next guy who seemingly checks off your boxes. And for what it's worth, I got divorced at age 32 and had a subsequent breakup when I was 33 (it was a good transition to a man who actually introdu… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/02/20 06:08 PM |
| 12 | Im getting married in April and thinking about it makes me want to throw up. Is that terrible or normal?I think you should sit with yourself and determine where the anxiety Is stemming from. Is it being the center of attention? Is it from a feeling of being trapped? Is it a feeling you need to be doing something else? Is it because you have unresolved issues with your fiance? Is it another reason? Our bodies have a miraculous way of knowing what's good for us and communicating warning signs... We just have to listen. I had all sorts of anguish with my first love knowing that he and I wanted very d… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/02/20 12:21 AM |
| 3 | Needing help.Generally people won't change until they've hit a low enough to motivate them into realizing it's necessary. My 10- year marriage ended due to ongoing addiction struggles and I can only hope he's addressing them. Either way, it's not my problem anymore despite maintaining a sense of caring toward him. So in all likelihood he will do better for another woman, just like you will likely do better for a different man. Sometimes we get so enmeshed with an incompatible person we become complacent and … | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/01/20 08:52 PM |
| 4 | Needing help.Those things will change once you begin to truly work on yourself. You don't need to, and probably shouldn't, date anyone for awhile. The end of all relationships, no matter how good or bad, cause sadness for periods of time. But settling for this kind of a situation will cause the rest of your life sadness as it'll be an ongoing battle against disappointment. A good partner builds you up and supports you while taking ownership of his/her own life as well. It doesn't sound like you have either o… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/01/20 08:32 PM |
| 7 | Needing help.You can't fix him is the #1 thing to realize. If he doesn't want to address his addictions, no amount of encouraging is going to change him or his behaviors. Personally, it sounds like he isn't a leader in your relationship and I wouldn't want to waste more years of my life waiting for him to get his act together. Perhaps he does do various nice things for you, but so can other men who are interested in being successful and appreciating their partners. Wasting the day away smoking and playing vi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/01/20 08:23 PM |
| 21 | Am I really being abused?This behavior is not ok, and definitely doesn't qualify as "leader-like" even by more conservative standards. It's also very rare for me to decline my SO's advances, but it will occasionally happen when I'm utterly exhausted or too sick. He does not throw hissy fits and certainly doesn't cast me out of our bed. What your husband did reflects an extremely selfish mentality. In addition, cold shoulder is one of the 4 Horsemen behaviors which undermines relationships. See John Gottman's books on th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/01/20 09:00 PM |
| 5 | He proposed and I said YES!Congratulations! | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/01/20 08:25 PM |
| 1 | How are you preparing for the new year?Nice! As far as classics, Jane Eyre is good, as are the various Jane Austen books. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/01/20 05:52 AM |
| 3 | How are you preparing for the new year?I'm in the process of packing up my townhouse in preparation of renting to a friend beginning Feb 1. I've been feeling giddy while purging things and old gifts from my ex in-laws that no longer serve me. It's a refreshing energy. At the same time I have been helping to organize my FH's family basement which makes me twitch and the family finds too overwhelming to address. Since I have no emotional attachment to anything there, it's easier and then I bring things in stages up for everyone to revi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/12/19 07:52 PM |
| 1 | How are you preparing for the new year?Have you read the Keeper of Lost Cities series? My stepdaughter asked me to read them and I just finished the 8th book. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/12/19 07:43 PM |
| 11 | What is the meaning of nurturing?Nurturing to me is adding an extra touch of lovingness and care to something or someone allowing a sense of positivity and growth. For example, my FH is sick with a cold and is rarely ill. It would have been easy yesterday for me to succumb to annoyances and exhaustion after working a full day and then being in the middle of moving and not having him around to help. It would have been easy to tell him to stop being a "baby" and do XYZ and a multitude of other things that need to be addressed, bu… | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/12/19 07:37 PM |
| 12 | Stressed out in relationshipLoving partners don't seek to "punish" the other person. You're not a child. You're allowing yourself to be treated poorly. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/12/19 02:20 AM |
| 6 | Stressed out in relationshipHow about changing that around and realizing that YOU are not getting the things you want out of this relationship. You're so focused on him that youve lost yourself. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/12/19 02:17 AM |
| 6 | Stressed out in relationshipIt's called codependency. You should really look into therapy to address the things you mentioned, otherwise you're going to stay in this cycle and confuse abuse with leadership. Your SO isn't leading your relationship if he's giving you the silent treatment. That's one of the four horsemen that destroy relationships. A leader would listen to your concerns about how it affects you and work out a way to articulate his feelings in a more appropriate manner. There is sometimes a need for space to p… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/12/19 02:15 AM |
| 7 | The Consequences of PornographyYou don’t have to have a fetish to be a sex/porn addict, nor does having fetishes make a person a sex/porn addict. Not all sex addicts are rapists or pedophiles, but all rapists and pedophiles are sex addicts because of their inability to control their behavior. It’s an identifying title that encompasses numerous behaviors and levels of escalation. Some never escalate past porn, others need more and more escalation that leads to riskier behaviors. The foundational block, though, is usually porn … | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/12/19 08:33 PM |
| 2 | The Consequences of PornographyUnbelievably so - but it made me stronger. And life has funny twists. If I hadn’t reconciled with him the first time, I would have never met my now fiancé and his daughter and gotten to know them a bit before we reconnected years later! Part of what he liked about me was that she already knew and liked me and he didn’t have to skirt around additional dating drama. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/12/19 08:01 PM |
| 6 | The Consequences of PornographyMy ex told me that while he was going to school - which btw he graduated top of his class and worked FT - he would sometimes browse to collect for 5-7 hours per day!!! I was FLOORED and had NO idea because he was such a high functioning addict. He always spent quality time with me in the evenings and then was always working/studying/exercising otherwise in my mind. His addiction apparently really kicked in while he was deployed to Iraq, and upon returning stateside he utilized it to fill boredom… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/12/19 07:54 PM |
| 46 | The Consequences of PornographyI lost my first marriage to porn/sex addiction. Never knew what was going on until 4 years into our marriage and he had a physical affair based on fantasy and it all started coming out. We’d been sexual while dating (he was long distance in the military but we saw each other every other weekend), but the sex felt completely carnal and he even told me he didn’t know how to combine sex and love. He showed love through cuddles and service. As cliche as it sounds, he literally stopped opening doors … | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/12/19 06:00 AM |
| 11 | Update: We still have the formica table.Wow, that is an amazing update!! Congrats! | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/12/19 12:08 AM |
| 19 | What is one thing you've learnt on RPW that changed your life for the better?That there really are differences between men and women and that it’s ok (and natural) to let the man lead. I used to semi-jokingly tell people my ex husband and I fought for the alpha dog title. I also couldn’t imagine having to defer to him or feel like “because he’s a man he’s automatically in the right,” etc. My ex tended to treat me like a “bro” and I didn’t know how to alter my demeanor to be more feminine. We split after 10 years of marriage because of some issues on his end, but I do bel… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/12/19 12:03 AM |
| – | Gratitude: What are you thankful for?Grateful for my friends, family, job, health and for my wonderful and thoughtful fiancé - he gets up with me every morning and starts my car, scrapes windows if necessary, and hands me my lunch box (he’s self-employed and leave at 7:30am). | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/12/19 07:32 PM |
| 1 | DivorceI got married at age 22 and divorced at 32 after he fell back into adulterous/addictive patterns. I dated one of my closest friends for several months who actually introduced me to TRP and RPW, and while we didn’t work out and we’re no longer close... I have no regrets. It’s absolutely what I needed at the time. It wasn’t easy, and I had to move twice in under a year....so I bought a condo and remodeled it. I finally started therapy about a year after my divorce and was finally getting comfortab… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/11/19 06:43 AM |
| 6 | What are you willing to sacrifice to be with your captain?100 miles? Girl, coordinate some trips to see your family and friends so you’re not wallowing in a funk....100 miles is not THAT far away. I moved over 2400 miles from my family and friends when I got married to my ex back in 2006, and I would have loved to be only 100 miles away! Can your friends visit you too? To answer your question, to be with my fiancé I’m sacrificing the child free life I’d envisioned and am helping to raise my nearly 11 year old stepdaughter. Thankfully she’s generally a … | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/11/19 04:29 AM |
| 3 | I have a bit of a porn and masturbation addiction and I’m kind of struggling with it.If you feel it’s a hindrance to your life you can look up SSA for literature and resources on how to address it. Using masturbation for the reasons you listed aren’t bad in and of themselves, but if it’s affecting your life then you might benefit from this and therapy. Just “quitting” doesn’t address the underlying reason(s) you’re trying to cope from/avoid. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/11/19 05:45 PM |
| 2 | "Do you want children or not?" My answer...depends.For me it’s depended on my partner and ensuring he would make a good partner and father rather than dropping everything on me. I also enjoy my freedoms and don’t want having a child to alter our current lifestyle. Having a kid is also generic Russian Roulette. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with not being sure or just not wanting to have children. I’ve never had a biological urge to reproduce anyway, much to my mother’s dismay, and I’ve gotten tired of hearing about how selfish I am over t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/10/19 11:16 PM |
| 7 | What is the sweetest thing your husband/boyfriend has done for you?My fiancé gets up with me every morning and starts my car and packs my lunch while I throw on my clothes etc. He’s never done that for anyone else before, but the simple gesture saves me from being late and allows for a few extra minutes of morning cuddles. He’s done a ton of other things too and is extremely generous and thoughtful. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/10/19 06:15 AM |
| 12 | My (25F) boyfriend (26M) told me he is struggling with feeling depressed and numb. Help?Wow, I’m sorry you had to go through that... I can’t even image the levels of anguish it would cause. I’m glad he’s getting help! | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/10/19 06:37 AM |
| 2 | Happily married women, what are your love stories?We reconnected in 2016... I was also recovering from divorcing a cheating ex followed by a heartbreak after subsequently dating one of my best friends and realizing we weren’t compatible. I actually met my fiancé in late 2011 after reconciling with my ex husband, and he was dating my former SIL. They split in early 2014 and we didn’t speak or see each other until late 2016. However, shortly after my last break up in April 2016, I remember going out with family and friends for a birthday party at… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/10/19 09:34 PM |
| 1 | For women who work in an office, do the women there get along well?I’ve been blessed the last 4 years to work with a small unit comprised of 7 women (now it’s 6 women and 1 married man and his newborn half the time) within our agency. Some of the primary reasons I haven’t opted to look elsewhere is because I love the dynamic and having my own office ... and being treated like an adult. We get along well and respect one another. We don’t typically hang out at lunch or after work, but the environment is pleasant and supportive. We specifically look for personalit… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/10/19 12:53 AM |
| 7 | Can't stay in a relationship, always thinking I can find betterThey can, but then you’re in the wrong sub and bitching to the wrong people. You just don’t like the answers you’re getting and are lashing out. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/10/19 04:46 PM |
| 3 | How to recover your confidence after romantic rejection?From one of your previous comments, it sounds like the play wrestling and handsy behavior when you wanted to kiss him was occurring at the gym. Is that the case or were you elsewhere? If it WAS at the gym, I can totally understand why he’d pull away since he is their employee and generally there are clauses about not getting involved with patrons. It’s not professional to be behaving in that manner at any place of employment. Some gyms encourage a bit of flirting to entice patrons to sign up for… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/10/19 06:29 PM |
| 3 | How to recover your confidence after romantic rejection?Against what rules, exactly? | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/10/19 05:33 PM |
| 2 | In your experience, how important is personal hygiene to men?Yes and no - most probably are, but I’ve met a few guys out there just wanting to bang whatever completely sober, too! | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/09/19 10:30 PM |
| 6 | In your experience, how important is personal hygiene to men?I’m huge into personal hygiene and my FH is floored by how clean and fresh smelling I am. I’m definitely not OCD about it, but bathing daily and washing intimate areas after sex are a must. I even have two bidets in my house because I don’t think TP takes care of that job alone. He told me he once knew an adult woman he’d dated for a time who believed just having water run over her meant that it was washed, and he had to teach her that soaping and scrubbing was needed. Somehow he managed to stic… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/09/19 05:50 PM |
| 1 | Suggestions on showing appreciation toward future in-laws for a BIG gift...Omg that is amazing! Congrats to you, too! He proposed to me out there too (my 2nd year and his 10th) and had arranged for an engagement photo shoot about 6 months in advance! He begrudgingly told me a couple days in advance which ruined the surprise that he wanted, but he figured (rightly) that I would want to be freshened up and prepared for a photography shoot. He’s pretty involved in the BM/art community so he’d love to take out an old heart project he has stored away. Our city has lots of B… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/09/19 09:47 PM |
| 3 | Suggestions on showing appreciation toward future in-laws for a BIG gift...Thank you - we were researching some options last night and will discuss what they might like to incorporate. They’re not too traditional and we want to incorporate some Burning Man aspects into the event, so it’ll be a fun fusion! | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/09/19 07:50 PM |
| 3 | Suggestions on showing appreciation toward future in-laws for a BIG gift...Yes, that would be ideal. I’ve already gotten involved in their family business (real estate) and once we’re married I can stop working my main job and have more free time to do that and travel with them. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/09/19 07:40 PM |
| 2 | Might be a superficial questionMy last boyfriend was 5 inches shorter than me and it was never an issue. He’s actually the one who introduced me to TRP/RPW! | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/09/19 10:16 PM |
| 1 | I feel I have a very bad relationship with men and I want to changeI’d recommend therapy and maybe SAA since you felt unable to stop the behavior. I’m sorry you had to endure all of your experiences. :( | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/09/19 10:12 PM |
| 2 | How did you meet your boyfriend/husband?We reconnected through online dating after a 3.5 year gap of not running into each other. He used to date a former family member of mine for a couple of years and I found him the same night I signed up, he friended me on Facebook the next day, that evening we met for dinner to catch up, and nearly two years later we’ve just gotten engaged! | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/09/19 02:25 AM |
| 8 | What dating advice would you give to your younger self after discovering TRP?My fiancé (we got engaged last week!!) deleted his collection of years and years of porn when we got together of his own accord when we got together because he no longer wanted to have a “back door.” He is hyper vigilant to avoid any interaction or situation that might take his energy away from me/our relationship. He still is a little bewildered by taking that action because he had it through college, multiple LTRs, and a marriage, but his attitude had changed. Obviously he’s not blind to attra… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/09/19 08:11 PM |
| 1 | Are there actually decent guys on dating apps? Tips on vetting?I met my ex husband on a defunct dating site back in 2004. I reconnected with my SO newly two years ago on this mindfulness dating website that caught my eye through Facebook. There are plenty of options out there besides tinder and Craigslist which I wouldn’t recommend to anyone looking for a serious relationship. Check out the profiles, talk to them for a while to see if they’re worth your time, and then try meeting in public. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/08/19 04:31 AM |
| 11 | Is my hobby a problem?Why does he need to pay for your nails? That attitude would put me off because it comes across as entitled. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/08/19 10:29 PM |
| 1 | To those who lost their virginity recklessly before getting red pilled, how do you feel about it?No regrets- my then bf and I (18 and 20 respectively) had waited 2.5 years and it was a beautiful moment. Unfortunately he began to experience regret the morning after and was shame-filled questioning what others might think about him (he wasn’t religious). That ruined the experience for me and ultimately led to our breakup because I couldn’t bear feeling like I was something dirty or someone he’d just picked up on the street rather than the person he intended to marry etc. Spoiler alert - he so… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/08/19 05:47 PM |
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