Is my hobby a problem?

gscheit · 2019-08-08T20:15:19+00:00

I don't see how this hobby would prevent you from getting a quality guy , if a man doesn't want a woman who's into that he's not the right one for you anyway.

iwasawasp · 2019-08-08T20:23:04+00:00

I don't think you need to give up music festivals. However, you're describing this as a hobby when really it sounds like a lifestyle. You're not meeting men with steady jobs living this lifestyle, you say. Taking time off to "constantly" attend concerts is not usually a perk of full time work.

What lifestyle are the men you're seeking living?

Perhaps you can budget your time like you'd budget your money. Give yourself so many concert hours or days per month and leave it at that. Fill your life with variety and you will meet a variety of men.

eatavacado · 2019-08-08T21:52:06+00:00

Music Festivals aren't inherently bad or attract low quality people, but I don't see a man who's hard working and driven with his mission in life, putting much money into music festivals as a hobby. Maybe concerts here and there, and one music festival once in a while, but as a hobby, thats pretty spendy. Financially driven men would more likely have a different hobby. Im sure that man could still be into screamo and dubstep however :) I doubt your taste would turn him away. probably be hard to find him there however.

ironsoul99 · 2019-08-08T20:17:52+00:00

It’s perfectly possible to be a rpw and maintain more masculine interests. I’m a competitive powerlifter and my other hobby is fixing up my cars. My career is more masc than fem, but I still maintain the natural feminine interests I’ve always had like cooking and taking care of pets and plants (no babies for a while). You’re bound to attract guys in these male-dominated areas, and most of them won’t be boyfriend material, but it shouldn’t keep you from finding a boyfriend worth your while. If he can’t handle your interests, he was never for you anyways.

Quarnivorr · 2019-08-08T20:22:48+00:00

I would suggest just leaving those guys alone and accepting your strong personality. You do not want to be everyone's cup or tea because some teas are sweet, others bitter and even sweet when warm but bitter when cold and vice versa.

I would also suggest watching this video about this topic if you like Mrs. Midwest How to Be Feminine With a BIG Personality

AnarchoNAP · 2019-08-08T20:20:56+00:00

I don't think the music itself is an issue. When I hear "music festival" I think "lots and lots of hard drugs." Whether that's accurate or not, I think its a concern.

grand_tiremaster · 2019-08-08T23:22:03+00:00

Music taste is not going to stop you from attracting a quality man. I like a lot of heavy metal, alternative metal, and hard rock. My partner likes that music too, and when he was younger he went to drum and bass concerts. He has been to Rampage in Belgium a few times, crazy stuff. We plan on saving up and going to EDC together one day, as well as a hard rock/heavy metal festival, something similar to Aftershock festival. He is not low quality-- he works full-time and is pretty stable. Some men go to the Bahamas for their holidays, others go fishing, and some others go to music festivals.

My advice is to find someone who is high quality and also enjoys music festivals. That is something you two could do together.

jfiscal · 2019-08-08T20:20:09+00:00

I wouldn't say that music taste is a problem. It's certainly going to drive certain men away, but that will happen regardless of your level of commitment (concerts vs casual listening).

And as always you get a quality man by being a quality women

inimitabletroy · 2019-08-08T20:37:54+00:00

I see a lot of myself in what you describe. Bass Canyon, LL, and Electric Forest are all festivals on the bucket list. Maybe you won't find one at a rave. But my brother goes to them with me. He is 23 works a job helping people with tax liens all week, then Saturday and Sunday at Cycle Gear. His friends that we go to festivals with are all great, respectful, hardworking young men who I would not consider indecisive. I do believe there are men who hold the same values at these festivals. They may just be a bit harder to find. My boyfriend doesn't like EDM but doesn't mind me going to festivals. So it is also possible to find a happy medium. Although I would prefer attending with him. (He doesn't like the huge crowds).

moon4040 · 2019-08-08T21:11:03+00:00

It’s fine as long as you don’t get involved in the whole crazy degenerate part of that culture. I absolutely love hard rock music but I would never do some of the things I see other women do at the venues (like do coke in the bathroom, throw their bras on stage, try to be groupies, etc.). I just enjoy the show and have a drink with my friends.

ugababa · 2019-08-12T06:00:38+00:00

Never give up what you love in order to meet “the one”.

“The one” will love you like you are, with all of the the package

Additionally, I don’t think your specific music choices will “hurt” your search,

My partner and I are absolutely LOVING dubstep/screamo festivals, neither of us ever thought that it is “manly” music

failingtheturingtest · 2019-08-08T21:30:28+00:00

Here's the deal. Music festivals are a red flag. At your age, it's not unusual and so many will look beyond it, but it remains a red flag.

Music festivals are where people go to dress provocatively, get drunk/high, and hook up. Festival goers do drugs and make poor decisions.

You might say "I'm not like that", but you've already done mdma and you've already said you have to ask "a sober one" when getting advi r from friends. So you are part of that culture, like it or not.

This is why a bloke is less likely to consider you a good option for long term. Even with you taking the time here to explain how "you're jot like that, it's xlearv that your decision making is already poor.

In short. Yes, musical festivals are a red flag. But your bigger issue us that you want to hang out with people on drugs but be treated like someone who doesn't hang out with people on drugs. You can only have one of those things.

pearlypearl12 · 2019-08-08T22:08:20+00:00

I have the same hobby as you but I am 25 and have a stable career.

I started going to edm shows after college so I was a late bloomer Bc I was in a relationship with a 6 year older man most of my time in school.

How I balance it and still stay on my track of self improvement is that I genuine love the music, production, artistry, and of course the hard work and character of the artist performing. I have been a music fan all my life and edm is simply one genre of live entertainment I love. I personally do not do party drugs or drink excessively.

I have dated a variety of men, mostly older. I still maintain my priorities of career, fitness, self improvement, other hobbies such as hiking, rock climbing and cooking. The feedback I get from men I have dated is that they like the variety of things I enjoy Bc I intrinsically enjoy them and not worry what people think. I enjoy festivals and shows for the music and I communicate that earnestly. If they assume I’m a degenerate and party a lot, well that’s their poor snap judgement- I don’t want to be w a closed minded guy anyways. And if they want to enjoy a show with me and see the sparkle in my eyes when my favorite dj plays- awesome, I would love to share what I love.

Maintain your hobbies and have pride in them. When I talk about how amazing show is- the musical artistry, I get a bit obsessive over little details and that spurs a great convo about our preferences in art.

I understand how the scene can consist of non serious people. I personally ignore them. I’m not there to date, find a date or interact with the crowd (I’m always up to make new friends). I’d be hard to garner interest from that crowd to find the man you’re searching for.

light-----------dark · 2019-08-08T22:19:53+00:00

you may not find the type of guy that you’re looking for at a music festival, so it may be worth exploring areas where you can find your type of guy - bonus points if he happens to like the scene you’re into.

YupThatsAnAlien · 2019-08-12T18:29:37+00:00

Take a look at any hobby; They’re all filled with people of every shape, size and type just like in everyday life. If you try and change yourself to fit into what someone else will like you will never be content.

moonchildcountrygirl · 2019-08-14T15:53:15+00:00

You’re right that most guys at these festivals wouldnt have their shit together in the way that you’re looking for, but there are plenttyyy of really successful guys who‘d be into going out every once in a while to let loose with you. Instead of looking into the festival community I’d start from the opposite direction, look for your guy first, worry about sharing a hobby later. But be mindful that if its all over your dating profiles and social media, especially if you’re wearing skimpy outfits, it’ll nix a lot of opportunity for you

smokeythecat420 · 2019-08-08T21:36:02+00:00

I'm a guy and love festivals. Been to three so far this summer and i'm djing at another two in september.

Just need to find you a heady festival guy lol

plein_old · 2019-08-08T20:19:29+00:00

What do you like about screamo headbanging dubstep?

Does that type of music inspire people to be loving and graceful and beautiful? I don't know anything about it. Music is a wonderful thing in general, I think, and a great way to connect with people.

Title	Is my hobby a problem?
Author	anonvjkgrl
Upvotes	21
Comments	71
Date	August 8, 2019 8:11 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/cnr97a/is_my_hobby_a_problem/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/is-my-hobby-a-problem.247764 https://theredarchive.com/post/247764

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